Ladylee...The Original Oldgirl

Gone Vegetarian...

2009-07-16T23:14:00.001-04:00

The birth of Milk and Cookies Jr. was a most delightful interruption...

We now return you to our regularly scheduled broadcasts...

Now, one of my life goals has always been to become vegetarian...

It has been more of an imagination than anything.

Why, I've thought about it often, especially when I'm chowing down on a barbeque rib sandwich or a merrily eating a 2 piece spicy chicken dinner from Popeyes.

Always thinking about it, but never mustering up the courage to go through with it.

But, I noticed something particularly interesting during the fasts that we have at church every January. Sometimes I participate, sometimes I don't make it through. It is never anything stringent (like total water fasts - negroes will act a jack behind such), but usually involves some type of detoxifying element, like no junk food, no red meat, no white food (rice, potatoes, other high starcy stuff), nothing bad for you.

Very detoxifying indeed. The heart and mind is very clear during that time.

But like I said, I noticed something very interesting happened during these times:

My lupus symptoms virtually disappeared.

I could go so far as to say that they disappeared, because I don't remember any symptoms.

During those times I felt, what's the word... NORMAL.

And yo... an Oldgirl was REAL happy about that.

And soon as I'd go back to my old ways, well... the symptoms would raise their ugly heads.

Now my symptoms aren't terrible, as I am functional. I always have a low grade fever. I don't sleep well (only 6 hours a night, and constantly waking up). I have constant inflammation, and a little joint swelling. It gets a bit bad during PMS. I have spontaneous nosebleeds from time to time. Sinus infections prevail.

Like I said, I am very functional. I work everyday. I am limited in activities (2 on the weekend, 3 during the week). Anything more and I am virtually wiped out with fatigue.

I've always been proud of the fact that I can take care of myself. I am not dependent on anyone. Being completely debilatated had been a fear in the past.

But there was something about those periods of fasting that stayed on my mind.

And I looked into it one day.

I read all types of things on lupus, but one day I saw something interesting: that symptoms can be exasperated by animal protein, to the point where all the symptoms could be some sort to an allergic response. Essentially getting too much animal protein could cause all kinds of inflammation problems and kidney problems. I have had both at some time or another.

It could be bogus. Who knows. I blew it off and went on to something else. I don't see much about this in my mainstream book that I have on the subject. Such is to be expected from a book more centered on Western medicine.

But it isn't bogus to me because of what happens when I eliminate animal protein from my diet for periods of time.

Mix that with meeting one of Cowgirl Cre's cousins at one of her family functions who was a vegetarian just this past Memorial Day Weekend.

Our convo was interesting:

"So you're really a vegetarian?" I asked.
"Yes," she replied.
"So how long you been like that?"
She laughed. "You make it sound like I have a disease."
"No, I was just wondering."
"For 10 years."
My curiosity was peeked. She was a young chick, couldn't be over 30. "And why did you decide to do that."
"Because I had an animal protein problem that put me in the hospital, and after that, I stopped eating meat. And if I try to eat it now, I just get sick."

Hmm. I didn't know what to say. We all went on talking and joking about other things. I was trying to catch her alone but couldn't. I was nosy as hell. I wish I could've gotten her number so we could talk privately. I wanted to know what caused her protein issues. (But I didn't want her to think that I was hitting on her. LOL!! Maybe I'll see her at another family gathering (as I tend to crash Cre's family stuff often)).

Anyway, I thought on that for awhile. And not to mention, me and Dr. HazelEyes, another sista Doc on my job, had decided we were going to fast together. (She'd done some similar fasting like I'd done in January).

So we made a pact to do the darn thing.

"We're starting June 1st, LadyLee," she said.
"That's cool, I'm ready," I said. "And I'm kicking it for the whole summer, babes."

She looked at me like I was crazy. "Naw, I didn't say all that. The month of June, that's it. I'll work it out past that when we get that far."

"I'ma do the darn thing, girl. And if I can make it to the first of September, I'm shooting for December 31st. And if I can do that, then shoot girl, I'm gonna just stay that way."

*Dr, HazelEyes looking at Lee REAL crazy-like*

It is a most daunting goal indeed.

It is the most positive and interesting thing I did last quarter.

How am I doing?

It has been:

46 days

1104 hours

66,240 minutes

3,974,400 seconds...

Since I "turnt" vegetarian.

How am I REALLY doing?

1. No constan low grade fevers.

2. I can't remember the last time I had any arthritic pain or pain from inflammation. (Well, yes I can: late May, that's when).

3. I sleep like a rock. I get 6-8 hours of sleep per night. And even if I get 3-4 hours of sleep, it is a very good DEEP and satisfying sleep. I am not groggy for the rest of the day on short sleep.

4. No lupus flares (suddenly worsening of symptoms) during PMS.

5. No spontaneous nosebleeds. (Gosh... I HATED that).

6. No sinus mess going on. (Thank the Lawd for that).

7. Lost 17 pounds (Doctor Bhaji was happy about that). I can't tell, but it is what it is.

8. Doctor Bhaji said my hands had gotten smaller. *Lee sees crickets flying around that statement* In other words, no real inflammation and fluid retention isshas were seen on my last doctor visit.

9. My cholesterol dropped about 60 points. (It had been borderline high- around 220). That was from a June 9th test. Might be lower now.

10.Much better concentration (I usually have the concentration of a flea, which is lupus related- I cannot STAND that).

11. I am more energetic.

So, uh... should I stick with it? Or should I let it go and go get some Popeye's chitlins?

LOL...

So, Chele, I hope I answered your question of why I went vegetarian. Purely for health reasons. I think this is one of the most important decisions I made in the second quarter of the year.

And now the question is... Am I vegetarian or vegan?

There is a difference, you see...

To be continued...

Wordless Wednesday: MILK AND COOKIES JUNIOR

2009-07-16T03:27:00.000-04:00

My brother Milk and Cookie's firstborn son...

Kari Jr., July 15 2009, 3 pounds.

A true "Lil' Milk and Cookies"

Proactive: Tests, tests, and More Tests

2009-07-15T06:47:00.005-04:00

(Note: This a book giveaway week. (See Monday's post). If you wanna be in the drawing, make comments this week, on any post).

One thing that I really don't talk about in the House of LadyLee...

My lupus issues.

Why?

Because I don't wail and whine about my illness to people. I don't use it as a crutch.

I was diagnosed 7 years ago. (I have had it, from the symptoms, some 15 years, just didn't know it.) I only spoke about it on blog after a request from one of my favorite bloggers, That Southern Black Gal. (click here for that post). I'm glad she requested it, because it was a good thing for me to post on it.

I know several women with this chronic disease, and we all live pretty normal lives for the most part. We really don't even discuss it amongst each other. A coworker and I tend to email interesting articles to each other from time to time, and we check on each other and talk about medications, but that's about it...

But I go to the doctor a lot, every 4 to 6 weeks. I'm always getting a bunch of tests, giving many tubes of blood, all kinds of craziness.

I ask my Doctor from time to time, when she wants to do certain tests...

"Why do we have to keep doing this, Dr.Bhaji?"

"I'm just being proactive!" she says in her high shirll voice.

*LadyLee kicks the hard eyeroll*

Yesterday I had a heart test, called an echocardiagram. (I have no idea if I am spelling that right).

I have pleurisy, and a bit of continuous heart inflammation since being diagnosed. The only real effect it has is that I have a little pain along my ribcage on my left side around my heart when I take very deep breaths.

This doesn't bother me. I can go walk a few miles on the track without hyperventilating or anything wierd.

So she scheduled this "Echo" test.

"But I feel alright!" I said.

"You've never had the test. And I just want to be proactive, LadyLee," she said as she fills out my prescriptions.

So I had that yesterday. Very interesting. It seems to be a sonogram/ultrasound for the heart. I didn't discuss the test with the technician (I was a bit perturbed about laying up on a table with my chest exposed, lol).

But what was interesting is that I could hear the sound of my blood pumping in my heart over loud speakers.

Swoooooosh, swooooosh, swoooooosh.

Very loud, very pressure driven. Man, it sounded like something out of the Alien movies, lol.
(If you've ever seen the movie Contact, it sounded exactly like the signals the aliens were sending from outer space)

And it was very daunting. The heart pumping like that is a very complicated process...

I'll probably think about that when I get in a tizzy about mundane issues of life.

Gives a WHOLE new meaning to me thanking God for the blood running warm through my veins.

I literally know what that means now.

Talking to my Doctor about it later, she said there were reasons for that test: to measure the size of the heart, to check for leaking valves, and to check for fluid around the heart.

I sat quietly and listened. Wanted to wail "But I feel alright!", but I didn't.

I understood that she was just trying to be proactive.

I've had other tests, like the bone density test. It is interesting to see my whole skeleton on a computer screen. I upset the technician once, when I was standing behind her, looking at the results screen, yelling...

"Look at that! I got bones, man! I got bones!!!!"

LOL. That chick was having a bad day. Thought I was gonna catch a smackdown.

Then there was a kidney ultrasound test I once had. It is pretty much the same as an ultrasound. My doctor wanted to know the size of my kidneys.

I remember the technician squinting hard at the computer screen.

And I remember thinking "Please don't let this woman say she see a baby in there."

LOL!!! (That was what they told my mother when they were looking for the size of a tumor they thought she had. Said tumor was my little brother. LOL!!!)

But one test that I've always hated, one I have to do every 2 to 3 months, is a test that requires urine collection.

I am NOT talking the simple "pee in a cup" at the doctor's office test. Who cares about that? That is simple enough to do.

I am talking about the "24 hour urine collection".

Collecting ALL of your urine over a 24 hours.

LAWD HAVE MERCY I HATE THAT WITH A PASSION!

Yo, you drop a lot of urine in 24 hours! Good gracious alive!!!

(And I don't know what my issues were that day. I collected over 3 liters. Ugh.)

When my doctor wanted me to do this for the first time, some 6 years ago, I was like

"WHAT? You have GOT to be kidding me!! Stop playing!"

"I do this because I like to catch problems early" she said.

The reason for this is that a lot of lupus patients have higher levels of protein leaking out of their kidneys. Normal levels are about 100 mg. My range has been around 250 mg. I had something as high as 700 mg one time. My urine is foaming (a sign of high protein count, and possible kidney disease). My doctor adjusts my medicine accordingly to control this.

Anyway, I can't stand this process, and have wailed and whined about it.

Dr. Bhaji is use to me, after all these years. She ignores my whining.

"I'm being proactive, Miss LadyLee."

Over the years, the nurses have gotten a kick out of my disdain for the bright orange bottle. They would put my name on it, and hand it to me before I leave the doctor's office.

"Uh, check it out, homegirl" I say, as I stare at the bright orange bottle in my hand. "Ya'll need to give me a paper bag for this. I don't want to walk through the waiting room with this."

"No, Ladylee!"

I look around the room where I've just given several tubes of blood. "I'm sure ya'll got some bags around here."

"Nope. Take it like that."

To make things worse, one nurse in particular would grab my bottle from me and draw a BIG smiley face on the front. And then hand it back to me.

*LadyLee frowns REALLY hard*

So I would have to carry my bottle with the big smiley face through the waiting room. Ugh.

These days I don't care. I just do it. I don't know some of those people. WHATEVER.

Besides, my doctor is trying to be proactive.

At home, the bottle is not an issue, but I make it one.

Not only do I have to collect urine for 24 hours, I have to keep it very cold.

So I try to pick fights with Kentucky over this. I was particularly evil about this last quarter, in June.

"Kentucky, I'm putting this bottle in the fridge. I don't feel like getting up in the middle of the night loading my bucket with ice. You better not touch it, you hear me?!!"

"Lisa," she shot back. "You've been doing that for years. I know what it is, and I'm not gonna touch it. Just put it in there."

I left her alone. Kentucky is usually extremely docile, but I got the feeling that she didn't want to hear my mouth that day.

(Kentucky is undercover crazy. You have to watch the quiet ones).

Anyway, I turned in my bottle for last quarter 3 weeks ago.

I got a good result yesterday: a protein count of 159 mg.

My doctor was VERY happy about this.

My doctor and I talked about it.

And it seems to be largely due to my going vegetarian...

"Dr. Bhaji," I said through my hard Celie smile. "I'm being proactive!!!

To be continued.

Book Giveaways

2009-07-14T07:40:00.001-04:00

It's introspection time, once again.

'Tis a time to look at the important things that have happened in my life during the 2nd quarter of the year, from April to June, and how it has affected me.

I'm not posting anything today, just announcing some book giveways.

Like last time, if you comment, I will enter your name in a drawing and you have a chance to win one or both of the following books.

One of my favorite books, blogger Chele's Confessions of a Beautiful Woman.

And/or Write it Down, Make it Happen by Henriette Klauser.

This book was a staple of my old journalling group. If you need some direction in the proper goal setting, then this is the book for you. I think Serenity3-0 is rereading it again and setting new goals, and you know when that chick sets goals, she definitely makes it all happen. So, I have copies of this book on my bookshelf, and would love to give a copy away to someone who may find it useful...

I'm probably going to mix these posts in with my regular posts. We will see...

Stay tuned...

Monday Morning... Again.

2009-07-13T08:42:00.002-04:00

I tell you, it feels like the weekend speeds by real fast, don't it?

I need a good 4 day weekend. Several in a row!

LOL

Anyway, it rained cats and dogs last night in my beloved ATL. At least it's cool outside right now, 72 degrees. I think it will get up to 85 degrees today.

I am happy for that.

My weekend. Goodbye Milk and Cookies. My weekend was very slow. I like slow. This week is going to be hectic. I have to travel for the job (which I am NOT happy about) next week, so it was a good thing to relax this weekend.

One thing I did: I went to a going away gathering for my brother Milk and Cookies, who will be shipping out to Iraq next month. He has been in the ATL for two weeks. So I think he may be leaving this week.

I haven't seen him since January 2008, after a big fight we had. I won't go into it, and those who know me know what went down. But since he's going away, I was asked to stop by.

I make it a rule NOT to go to family gatherings. There's just waaaaay too much stress involved.

I am a staple at the family gatherings of my friends. You know it's bad when other people's family members are like

"Hey, where's your friend? Is she coming by? Is she bringing those cookies?"

LOL

My sister Kentucky had been discussing all this with me, and was planning a self serve taco bar, and was trying to figure out what to fix for me. That was unnecessary, as I was only staying for a few minutes. Seeing me walk through the door is like seeing a UFO zip through the sky: it is very rare, and you better not blink or you gonna miss me. I wasn't planning on sitting down, much less eating.

So when I walked in, eyes got big.

I was temporarily blinded by the flash of my brother's camera. He hugged me. I hugged him back. He was cheesing pretty hard. I was a bit nonchalant. His wife took a picture of us together.

He has a son due in October. I handed him a bag containing my baby gift, a baby blanket I'd been working on.

I didn't know when I would get it to him, and my sister said he'd been asking if I was working on something for the baby, which I was. I was just going to pack it up and place it with the items my sister bought for the baby. But I thought I would give it to him then. He and his wife really like it.

I was talking to my brother and I felt a tap on my thigh. I looked down, and it was my smiling mother. I don't remember the last time I've seen her. She said hello, I said hello. She thought I was pretty and liked my hair. I nodded. She jumped up so I could sit in her seat.

I just looked at the chair. I was NOT trying to stick around, but I sat down anyway.

I think I sat there for a few minutes. Grandma was real happy to see me, and we talked for a minute. I checked my phone messages and texts, and then got up and left.

Grandma walked me out, and obviously didn't want to see me go. She talked my head off on the front steps for 10 minutes, and ran back in the house to get an old birthday gift that she had tucked away for me. I talked to her about her money. I'd given her a debit card a couple years ago, and needed to talk to her about if it was enough and if she had a handle on her bills, etc... (she and I are alike -we HATE being a bother or asking for help). It reminded me that I need to get by and spend more time with her.

But I walked away unscathed, which is usually not the case. I usually get caught up in some weird drama started by my mother. I realized long ago that this is because she doesn't want me around. Alas, I don't show up to family gatherings.

I suppose she is better about that now. I don't really come around to figure that out.

My half hour there was decent. I left, and went to pick up a few groceries for the week.

On my way out of Grandma's neighborhood, I like to drive out slow, and look around at the places I use to go when I was a little girl Here's a picture of the store I use to frequent, which was a 3 minute walk from Grandma's house:

Mrs. Warriors store. The store was at the bottom, and the family lived upstairs.

My afternoon treat back in the 70's: A can of CountryTime lemonade or Tahitian Treat, a bag of Funyans, and Now or Laters (preferably apple or orange), all for 75 cents.

Those were the days.

Mrs. Warrior died years ago. And as you can see, the store is closed.

I'll miss my brother. I hope he prays, and makes the right decisions over in Iraq, and hope he stays safe, does his tour, and come back home. I really do. I don't want his son to be without a father.

So, this week, management, ALL of management, is gone, off on some type of training this week. Thank goodness for that. My coworker Ol' Mean Ass Cynthia has been left in charge to run the whole floor. One of the craziest inmates, is running the asylum, lol.

You know it's bad when we are planning a potluck. There will be music, fun, and games.

Yes, we are happy that the people who make our lives miserable are outta here. I think people made sure NOT to take time off this week just because of this rarity.

I can get a few things done, hopefully, without the monkey wrenches thrown by management. And that's a good thing.

I plan on posting every day this week. Gotta get this quarterly assesment stuff out the way, you know.

With that said... you know how it go.

It's a new week. Make this one count. I plan to be more productive... on purpose.

You do whatever you gotta do, on purpose too...

Friday Freestyle

2009-07-10T08:27:00.000-04:00

Wassup Peoples?

Sorry I haven't blogged much this week... My mind has been elsewhere.

I have PLENTY of posts to write, but I haven't gotten around to it.

That will change next week.

My week. Has been a little on the down side. This is midyear review week at work, and it seems like everyone is getting shafted. People are not happy.

Let's just say, one older employee who I admire, who's wife has been very ill, was told that he needed to...

...focus.

Yeah... Callousness is not even the word for that type of comment.

I haven't had my review. I have it today. Don't know how it will go. I've worked hard on my job, but I don't have the brownnosing trait, so you know how that goes.

Oh well, can't worry about it. My goal is to not get into a shouting match with my boss. I can do that. I am notorious for the silent treatment and the death stare. That'll work.

I am looking forward to the weekend. I have a writing group meeting tonight. Hopefully this will jump off once per month. My writing has been suffering much, and I need the jumpstart.

My brother is going to Iraq next month. He's having a gathering at Grandma's house. We've been at odds (well, I told him some stuff he didn't want to hear), and well, that killed our relationship. (This is why I RARELY give my opinion to people. You really have to push me, threaten me, and hem me up in a corner if you want me to give you my opinion on things. I always get punished for speaking my mind. ALWAYS).

But I will show my face. His son is due in October. I made a nice baby blanket. I will go over, give him and his wife the gift, stay a few minutes, and go on home.

Happy Birthday: Happy Birthday to blogger Aretha, proprietor of one my favorite blogs! Well, belated birthday, that is. She turned 29 this week! For some reason (say, the maturity of her actions and decisons), I thought this chick was in her mid- to late- 30's. I was shocked that she's only 29.

You know my motto: "You don't know nothing until you turn 30".

If that's the case with her, well... that chick is gonna do some MAJOR things in her 30's. Good gracious alive!

Happy Birthday, Chick! Do your thang!

Still vegetarian. Well, I'm still vegetarian!

Been vegetarian for

39 days.

944 hours.

56,640 minutes.

3,398,400 seconds... and counting.

Feeling okay. Doing okay. Will discuss my thoughts next week.

For now, I'm gonna hold the car in the road and keep it moving!

Video of the Week. I love video montages. Here's one from the Motown 40th anniversary box CD set.

You know, I am glad that Michael Jackson's kids have such a deep library of footage of their father. They can watch him over and over again. It's not the same as him being there, by no means, but it is a treasure within itself...

Definitely makes one smile in the midst of the sorrow.

With that said... find something to smile about today.

And have a great weekend... on purpose.

GOOD

2009-07-07T23:22:00.003-04:00

I had a long hard frustrating day at work today.

Let's just say, I was happy to get the heck out of dodge when quittin' time came. I stomped hard out of there like Miss Sophia, straight out to my car. It was cool, so I let down the windows and turned the music up real loud.

There are about 20 streetlights between my workplace in Midtown and my home in the downtown Atlanta neighborhood P-Town.

And I caught every. single. one. Every single light.

*Lee sitting at redlight grimacing hard and tapping fingers on steering wheel*

But the drive was GOOD. I screeched out my drivetime music Marvin Gaye's "Distant Lover"... you know, the long, long live version.

The one where Marvin says "Lawd Have Mercy" before the bridge.

I smiled at a few memories surrounding this sexy song (which I will post about later, lol).

I was feeling GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

LOL

I pulled into my garage, turned off the engine, and sat there listening to the song until it went off. I grabbed all my junk I lug off to work from the backseat and went into the house.

The kitchen light was on.

And there stood my baby sister Kentucky, looking shocked out of her mind.

The garage opens up into the laundry room, which leads into the kitchen. I stood there in the dark watching her. I threw all my stuff on top of the dryer and went into the kitchen to see what she was cooking.

She was busy with a tray of raw chicken wings... a whole LOT of chicken wings.

"Dang, girl," I said. "You getting down, ain't cha?"

"My cycle is on!" she said.

I blinked. I know how she is during her red dollar days. She usually craves chocolate cake. Not sure what was up with the chicken. Thought she would be making some chocolate covered chicken.

That don't sound good at all, man.

"I was gonna fry some chicken, and I was trying to do it before you came home."

I looked at the clock. It was 7:45 pm, my normal time of getting home. Not sure how she was gonna fry a gang of chicken before I got home, seeing that she'd just made it home after seven herself.

"Whatever, gal. Don't matter. I have no cravings for meat. None whatsoever."

"I didn't want to tempt you," she wailed.

I walked into my bedroom (just off the kitchen). I collapsed across the bed. ''Whatever, babes. Knock yourself out."

We talked a bit about the whole Michael Jackson Memorial. She was in class and didn't see it. Our internet was busted due to all the streaming at work, and I caught bits of pieces of it on various computers in my cubicle area.

All was well.

Then, a few minutes later, I heard that familiar sound.

The sizzle of chicken frying.

Then there was that smell.

The smell of fresh chicken... frying.

(Yeah, that right there is for YOU, Chele. Be strong, you Oldgirl you. Man up, honey child!)

Kentucky was frying chicken in my GOOD "chicken-fryin'" skillet. That's a skillet I've had since 1991, when I was 21. It was one of the first items I bought for my first apartment.

Chicken was smelling GOOD!

Sizzling all up in my GOOD pan!

Man... Kentucky was frying chicken so hard that the house fire alarms started going OFF!

It was as if the fire alarms were hollering "LadyLee, that's some GOOD chicken right there!"

LOL

Anyway, I went back in my bedroom and flopped down on the bed.

Turned on CNN and caught some of the clips of the Memorial.

The scent of fried chicken danced in my nose...

I don't know how I was feeling. I think the look on Oscar-Tyrone's face says it best.

What does that look mean? Perturbed, dismayed, annoyed, bored?

I have no idea. I just know I felt the way he looked.

I didn't want any chicken. Was just a little annoyed with my day. That was the root of my angst.

The chicken smelled good. I taught Kentucky how to properly fry chicken a good year ago.

So I know it had to taste good.

Kentucky fried 4 pieces of chicken. She busted the rest of the package up into 4 quart size freezer bags, and threw them in the freezer.

I prepared a very nice salad for myself.

That's one of those salads where you snatch open the fridgerator door and just throw everything in a bowl.

Fresh spring lettuce, cucumbers, strawberrries, onions, portabella mushrooms, tomatoes, nuts, raisins, seeds...

Topped it off with a fresh tarragon lemon dressing.

(I got that recipe from my Vegetarian Times magazine, you see).

Very nice indeed.

I am SO proud of myself.

I didn't put the smack down on Kentucky for a piece of her chicken.

I did GOOD, ya'll.

LOL

But uh rah...

Kentucky don't need to make a habit of that.

I ain't THAT good.

Or am I?

Happy Monday Morning...

2009-07-06T08:14:00.000-04:00

Happy Monday Morning...

Yeah, yeah... I am NOT excited.

It is all gloomy outside looking like it will storm any minute. It's that good sleeping or good twerking kind of weather! LOL

The current temperature is 71 degrees in my beloved ATL and it will reach a high of 81 degrees today.

That's cool babes! Better than this 100 degree weather we've been having!!

So I hope you enjoyed your 4th of July weekend.

Tell me something: why do 3 day weekends go by so doggone FAST!?

Ugh!!

And it isn't like I had a activity filled weekend...

My 4th of July weekend was

Very

Very

SLOW.

I didn't even leave the house this weekend.

(Now that's what I call slow).

I hung around the house. Period.

And I LOVED-ED it!!!

Sometimes, I need that. Sure, I was invited different places, but I simply wanted to chill...

I watched a lot of television... and a lot of news...

There were some big stories...

Number 1: What's up with Sarah Palin? Chick just up and quit. And that speech she gave was a rambling mess. Made me wonder what she was smoking. I thought she was a maverick. Apparently not!

Number 2. RIP Eric McNair. But uh...what was up with the McNair situation? Is it just me or do you get the vibe that he and his woman on the side got into a fight and a murder-suicide went down?

I am hoping it wasn't a situation where your mess finally caught up with you... That ain't important right now. A wife and 4 sons are left behind. Their lives are forever changed. Sigh.

As you can see, I haven't been posting.

This is because I posted EVERYDAY last month.

Don't expect such out of me anymore!!!

Well, unless it is short. And you know how longwinded we are here at the House of LadyLee.

Short is NOT in my vocabulary.

Anyway, this is Quarterly Assessment time... a time where I look at the happenings in my life over the last 3 months that affected me in someway or another.

The 2nd quarter wasn't as earth shatteringly dark as the 1st quarter.

It was very quiet in comparison. That's what I like.

Worst thing I happened: My bookclub broke up. I want to talk about that without verbally shanking negroes. Haven't quite figured out how to do that.

I paid off a major debt. My thoughts about my finances are so-so, and I want to talk about that.

I became vegetarian, and have been vegetarian for 35 days. This isn't really going to mean much to me until the 100 day mark, because I could just slip and chow down on whole bowl of chittlins and a rack of baby back ribs at any moment, lol, but I wanted to discuss it nevertheless...

Plus a host of other interesting things are always going on with me.

You know how we do at the House of LadyLee.

Smurfiness, with a side order of food for thought.

So with that... you all be sure to make it a great week!

Do it big on purpose!

A Most Tasty Dinter

2009-07-01T23:36:00.001-04:00

I broke out the wok and cutting knives and hooked up dinner in about 20 minutes flat tonight!

Uh-oh... almost forgot about the rice!

Okay... NOW it's tight!

Blog fam yells "OH NO! That looks like chicken up in there, LadyLee!"

Uh. No.

Told ya'll negroes I was going vegetarian.

Been vegetarian for 31 days.

743.5 hours.

44, 610 minutes.

2,676,660 seconds.

In other words, that ain't chicken!

That's seitan!

Chicken-style seitan. Yeah, yeah, I haven't heard of it either. Been hanging around that vegan store I roll up on once a week, and found out about it. Good stuff.

Looks like chicken.

Feels like chicken up in your mouth.

Hell, you get drunk enough, you'd probably swear it was real chicken!!

Anyway, I am posting the recipe... Not for you, but for myself.

And to prove to my baby blog sistah and keeper, Serenity30, who has my list of summer goals in hand, that I am sticking to the goal of preparing 2 or 3 vegetarian dishes this summer.

(And you know how cantankerous that chick can get when it comes to goals. HUMPH)

LadyLee's Special Bok Choy Stirfry

3 cups bok choy, washed and rough chopped

1/2 cup red bell pepper, sliced

1/2 cup onion, sliced

1/2 cup portabella mushrooms, sliced

1/2 cup seitan, sliced

1/2 cup broccoli

1 tspn curry powder

1 tspn sriracha pepper chili sauce

1 tablespoon of olive oil

Insructions: Throw it ALL in a wok and let her rip!!

LOL.

There are no real instructions to stir-fry. Stir it, fry it... then eat.

Turned out pretty well. I had a small container of leftover dirty brown rice made with soysage (I don't care for that soysage, man... AT ALL), and I paired it with my stirfry.

Dinner, from cutting up everything to sitting down and eating: 20 minutes...

Now THAT'S what I call fast food!!

Really though.

THIRTY

2009-06-30T23:03:00.001-04:00

Bet you didn't think I would post today, did you?

LOL

Fooled. YOU.

It is still technically June 30th. Not quite midnight. So that means that I still have time to post... something.

30 posts in 30 days!

I am so PROUD of myself!

The Oldgirl did it!

And to celebrate, we're gonna turn it over to The Original Oldcat...

Oscar Tyrone...

Yeah, uh... he's gonna do a little pole dancing for your enjoyment.

Show the party people at the House of LadyLee whatcha working with, boy!

Shut the month of June down, Oscar!!!!

*Lee presses play on the tape player... Uncle Luke screeches over the bass*

Get up on that pole, Oscar-Tyrone! Don't be scared!!

Work it out, boy! Work it OUT!!!

Get it, get it, get it... get it, boy!!

Stop lickin' that pole, Kitty!!!

Kitty danced too hard! Now he's a sleepy kitty!

That's enough Oscar-Tyrone... enough dancing, boy. You've earned your kibbles and water...

Ha ha HA!!!

That was too much fun! We'll have to let Oscar-Tyrone work that pole again in the future!!

Half a year has passed!!

Hope it was good for ya!

Hope the 2nd half of this year is even better for you:)

Good Monday Morning...

2009-06-29T08:35:00.004-04:00

Good Morning Blog Fam...

It is yet another Monday morning. I wish I had the day off, but alas, I don't.

Actually I don't mind going to work this morning. It's not going to be as hot as it has been for the past week...

It's only going to reach a high of 90 degrees.

"That's still hot, Oldgirl," you say.

Yeah, I know. But that's better than 100 degrees, you know?

Anyway, I had a decent weekend.

I think we are all still shellshocked over Michael Jackson's death. I dealt with my pain by watching the myriad of video shows dedicated to him, and by doing several posts of my favorite memories.

I ran around the house singing his songs while doing my chores.

The kitties were NOT amused with my less-than-stellar sanging skills.

Oscar-Tyrone would just hide, go somewhere and disappear for hours.

Kramer William gave me the *gas face*. I was in his face much of the weekend singing "Billie Jean".

Yes, if lil' man could talk, he'd be saying "LadyLee, I'ma need you to kill that noise."

LOL

I feel better. But it is disheartening to see stars that I grew up watching and admiring starting to die. Let's me know that I am aging. I was a child when Elvis died, and even a grown woman when Frank Sinatra died... but I couldn't relate to them.

But for Michael Jackson to up and die? That's too much, man. As my sister said "Some folks you expect to live forever."

You got that right. No one's immortal, that's for sure.

I did my grocery shopping this weekend. Plenty of fruits and veggies. I should be straight for about two and a half weeks. I think I may have a post coming up on that.

I read what had to be the best book I've read since reading Martha Southgate's Third Girl from the Left some two year's ago.

Carleen Brice's Children of the Waters.

Oh, this book was divine. Exceptional. Superb. I have NO idea how to review it. None.

It simply took my breath away. An Oldgirl had to go drink plenty water, because I ran out of tears.

Yeah, it was that good. And it had a huge personal effect on me. Let's just say, it is something else to spend much time praying about some personal isshas, and then to read a book that absolutely confirms some things I am doing and some plans that I am making, well... it is a Godsend. Really.

Okay, I am starting to cry. Let me stop talking about this...

I took this book VERY personally. VERY.

Poor Carleen. I'm going to blow up her email this week with my thoughts. She's gonna end up yelling "Go away LadyLee!!!" and blocking my email, lol.

Carleen... you got down. Really.

Good job, Botanical Chick. You might get you OG status behind this one. Really though.

I had a Financial Freedom Fighters meeting on Sunday. I was feeling blah about it, and didn't really want to go. I feel as though I have been within arms reach of finishing off some financial stuff, then some silly stuff happens. It's a bit disheartening.

But I believe in the power of words. In the power of being in the midst of good people who are trying to better themselves. Something good always rubs off on me - an idea, a solution... something- that I can use. I don't look to understand everything, but if I can get one little "something" to apply in my life, well... that makes it worth it.

Well worth it. As usual, I came away from the meeting with some plans. I will work my plans.

And something will stick.

Alright... I didn't mean for this post to turn into a "Food-for-Thought" special moment, lol.

This morning was a good morning. For some reason, I've been waking up VERY early and very rested, without an alarm clock. So I got up and prayed for a bit. This is nice, since no one is up, and it is quiet and still cool. Then I sat down and spent a couple of hours working on a reading assignment and organizing and typing up some notes. So that was fun...

An Oldgirl has gotten more done before 9:00 a.m. than most people get done in a whole day!

And there is still more left to do...

And I'm gonna do it all... on purpose.

Well... I have almost completed my assignment: Posting for 30 days straight! I didn't think I could do it. Well, there is one day left, but I don't think I will mess that up. But this has been helpful, getting the creative juices going. I have been able to work on some of my own writing, and I am happy about that.

So, with that said. I'm taking the month of July off.

NOT!!

LOL! I saw you gasp!

Just teasing.

Won't be posting everyday, but will be posting often enough.

I have much to say, and I hope you'll stick around and read it ALL. LOL

So, even though it is Monday, the most dreaded day of the week, be sure to celebrate it.

For there are people who didn't live to see this day. This NEW day, a day never seen or experienced by anyone.

So enjoy today... and make it a good one.

On purpose.

Favorite Michael Jackson Song: "This Place Hotel"

2009-06-28T19:51:00.000-04:00

I LOVE THIS SONG!

It is off the last Jackson's Album, Triumph. That's the last album Michael Jackson made with his brothers, before going solo and releasing Off the Wall.

This is my favorite MJ song!

And this video montage made an Oldgirl CRY!!

I liked the way they matched it all up to the song...I liked the way it ended.

That right there had an Oldgirl all weepy.

A fitting end to my MJ memorial weekend...

Really though.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson. We celebrate you in death now the way we should've been celebrating you in life. That's the way it goes in this mean world...

The important thing is simply... that we celebrate you.

Memories... The Two MJ songs that made Me a FAN!

2009-06-28T07:07:00.001-04:00

I still can't believe that these came out when I was around 10 years old.

"Rock with You"

Michael Jackson - New Music - More Music Videos

"Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough"

Michael Jackson - New Music - More Music Videos

And we thought these videos were HIGH technology! LOL... Music videos have come a long way, but these will always be timeless... Always.

Just like Michael Jackson.

Memories... My favorite Michael Jackson Live Performance

2009-06-27T17:13:00.001-04:00

This, to me, was Michael Jackson's most memorable performance.

I was in high school, in the 10th grade when the Motown25 show came on.

I distinctly remember this perfomance being the gist of our conversations in the lunchroom for the ENTIRE week.

Sigh...

Michael Jackson was definitely the greatest performer of all time...

Memories... Favorite Michael Jackson Posters

2009-06-27T05:18:00.000-04:00

The full color poster of this picture was not on my wall...

It was on my bedroom door... for 7 years.

When you walked upstairs, it was the very first thing that you saw. Must've drove my Mama nuts. I LOVED it.

I remember this being LadyTee's favorite poster.

I remember that because she talked ALL THE TIME about how she was going to get that very same yellow and white outfit that Michael Jackson had on.

Shoot, she already had the jheri curl just like his... now she wanted that outfit.

Yes, you were the bane of our teenage existence, Michael...

Memories

2009-06-26T08:01:00.000-04:00

Best memory: 1984, sitting on the edge of my Mama's bed, with my sister Kentucky (who was only 3 at the time) watching the Thriller mini-movie. LadyTee and I were on the phone.

We watched in complete silence, not saying a word to each other until it was over.

This had to be the best choregraphed dance in a video ever:

I even kept count of how many times I saw the Thriller video...

Well, I stopped counting at #34.

Me and LadyTee learned every move, and would do the dance part together...

Sigh...

LadyTee, me and you gotta get together and do those steps once again...

Rest in Peace...

2009-06-25T19:05:00.000-04:00

August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

Rest in Peace, Michael Jackson

LadyLee's Rules for the Cheating Politician

2009-06-25T08:26:00.002-04:00

Here we go again...

Another politician caught cheating.

Hmmm...

You know the story. It's been the top story in the news.

This time, it's the good Govenor of South Carolina.

Same news conference, same groveling...

And I suppose I'm suppose to feel sorry for you.

"Woo, woo, woo!

"That's all you get for me.

Plus my rules for bypassing getting caught in the first place.

These rules are not only for the good Governor, but for other politicians who've had to stand at the same podium, in the past... and in the future.

LadyLee's Rules for the Cheating Politician

(In no particular order of importance)

1. When you step to the microphone to confess what you have done, don't bring your wife and family. We all know she cussed you out. She probably picked up the closest thing and tried to knock the ish out of you.We know she's not the supportive wife. You made her come out there with you. You're not fooling anyone.

2. Have a rendezvous with a chick who's at least 35 years or older. Young chicks tend to run their mouths.

3. You'll get more respect from the public if you just say "I got caught! My bad!", instead of invoking God and saying you have sinned. Go somewhere and straigthen that out between you and God and your fam in private. Even though you may be sincere, the real deal is you got caught and wouldn't be up groveling and crying if you didn't get CAUGHT.

4. Do not cry when you step to the microphone. I do not feel sorry for you because you got caught and just ruined your career. Man up, and stop being a punk.

5. Be sure to thank your wife for not getting on camera and saying what she really thinks of your cheating behind. Because let's face it: she knew what was going on long before us common folks knew. She could REALLY mess you up if she wanted to. She probably won't, because she's taking you to the cleaners in divorce court.

6. Don't have a baby with your mistress. If you do, pay her off real good so she won't rat you out.
7. Tell one of your homies what you are doing. And there are always a bunch of brownnosing staffers looking to get in good with you. Use them too to lie for you. Maybe they can run interference for you.

8. Be careful what you say about your mistress. You were whispering in her ear how much you love her in the late midnight hour. Don't act like she was just a ho to you, or a "dear friend". She might show up and rat you out. Be careful how you speak of her.

9. Do not use government property (cars, planes, credit cards) to do your dirt. I as a taxpayer don't appreciate paying for your twerking on the side.

10. Don't do the honorable thing and resign from your position. Do it only if you are forced by some judge's order. Let's face it, you're going to lose the next election anyway. Might as well stay in that position while you can.

11. If other politicians try to talk trash about what you did, throw out as many subtle hints as possible involving knowing that they too are a bunch of cheaters. (Or just be like me... be brash with it and say "Keep hatin' and I'm droppin' a dime on some of ya'll). That would shut everybody up real quick.

12. Technology has come a long way. This means no romantic emails, phone calls, tweets, or facebook. As you can see, that stuff can be pulled up. I don't like seeing your romantic correspondence splayed across my television screen. Do yourself a favor and buy some throw-a-way phones or learn some morse code.

13. You make enough money to fly your mistress to town and put her up in a nice hotel on the outskirts of town. This is much easier than flying to another country.

There are many more rules, I suppose. But that's the gist of it.

You know, I ain't gonna too much judge the man. We all do dirt. Thank goodness I am an everyday citizen and haven't had to worry about my dirty laundry being put out there for the world to see.

My thing is: Don't piss on my head and tell me it's raining.

If you got caught, man up, and say you got caught. Stop with all the excuses and trying to make us feel sorry for you.

You ruined your family and political career over a piece of a**.

(Excuse my language).

And that's your fault. Not mine.

Hopefully I won't have to see any more perfect politicians step to the mike and confess...

(And we know that's just a pipe dream, right?)

The Weirdness...

2009-06-24T09:17:00.001-04:00

Sometimes, we get the most bizarre samples into the lab.

Rambutan!

Delicious and nutritious! That is, if you can get past the hairy and alien look of it, lol.

You have to peel off the furry coat. The flesh is like that of a grape. Suck on it, and throw away the seed.

(Too much work, man.)

I've gone vegetarian, but sometimes I might need a little protein!

Silkworm Pupa!!

Hey, does that count as meat?

Who in their right mind thought... "Hey, let's can silworms! We can make good money off of that."

Somebody thought about it and did it. And that's a fancy label. What language is that on the front of the can? That right there is enough to leave it alone.

My coworker said when she opened the can, it looked like a bunch of maggots.

LOL!!! You have GOT to be KIDDING me!!!!! I would've told my boss to go jump in a lake. Give that project to a dude, babes!!

Then the other day I got something weird. Not as weird as bugs, but some craziness nonetheless.
Celeriac!

I thought someone mispelled celery.

I like to process my work at my desk. I was sitting at my desk, piddling around with the paperwork, when my coworker Ol' Mean Ass Cynthia walked up. She inquired about the box. I told her what it was. She and I tore open the box and saw this:

"That don't look like no celery, man!" I yelled.

"It's a root," she replied. She picked it up.

"Girl, that looks like someone took a cow and chopped it's hooves off."

Needless to say, I don't find that... appetizing.

I don't imagine myself yelling "Hey, pick me us some of that good ol' celeriac when you go to the store, babes!"

Nope!

Although it might serve as a weapon. If you hurl it the right way, you could knock a sucka OUT.

Suppose to be good for ya! Smelled like cinnamon and cream. It's supposed to taste like a cross between celery and parsley.

*silence*

Yeah. I'ma let YOU try that out. Let me know how that goes!

Slice that up and pair it with some sauteed silkworms, and you got one heck of a meal!!!

Finally!!

2009-06-23T09:00:00.003-04:00

I've been waiting for this day allllll year.

June 23rd.

For it would be the day that Carleen Brice's new book, Children of the Waters, would hit the bookstores.

Finally!!!!

Yes... yes... a glorious day indeed.

For I loved her first book Orange Mint and Honey. Even tacked a review up on the walls of the House of LadyLee. I am a fan for life after reading THAT book.

It was one of our book club books. (I missed that meeting. I am STILL hot behind that!)

It is being made into a Lifetime movie. GLORY! I'll be looking out for that!

She even sent me a personally autographed copy of Orange Mint and Honey. (I know she was like, "Would this chick PLEASE stop hassling me about when I'm coming to Georgia." LOL) It said "LadyLee I love your blog and hope you would autograph a book for me someday."

I had the HARD lip quiver and the fat tear drops behind that one. Showed that book to people, but they were NOT allowed to touch it, lol

Yes, yes. I've been excited all month.

I FINALLY get to read some NEW Carleen Brice!

Yes indeed!!

Now my plan was simple: go get the book this morning. Get up EARLY and get to the big bookstore I frequent in Midtown when it opens (9:00 a.m), and get the book. I could stick it in the pocket of my labcoat and read it alllll day!

So as not to waste my time, I called the bookstore yesterday.

"Hello, may I help you?"
"I have a question," I said.
"Yes?"
"There's a book coming out tomorrow, and I want to know if you put it on the shelves immediately, or does it take you a couple of days to get it on the shelf?"
"What's the name of the book?"
"Children of the Waters by Carleeen Brice," I said. I spelled her last name.

He took a LONG time to look it up. I tapped my fingers on my desk.

"Uh... no," he muttered. "We don't have copies available."
"WHAT?"
"No copies available."
"WHY?"
"Some copies will probably come in on the next shipment. But they have copies up at the Buckhead store".
"I am NOT driving up to Buckhead."
"Well that's where they are."
"How do you NOT have copies of this book? I don't believe this!!!"
"Well..."

A slight argument erupted. I ended up hanging up on him. Started calling around. Looked like I would have to drive to the closest place, Buckhead, and get the book. But driving to Buckhead in morning traffic is a beast, and they didn't open until ten o'clock. Too late. I decided to leave work in the middle of the afternoon and go get the book.

But I called another bookstore over by the White people's Kroger. They open early, but I don't like the book store.

"Hello?"
"I'm looking for a book." I gave her the information.
"Yeah, we have it," she said immediately. "I just put it on the shelf."
"REALLY?"
"Yes."
"And I can buy it tonight. Before the book comes out."
"Yes."
"And it counts on the book scan?"
"Sure does."
I looked at the clock. It was five after seven. "What time do you close?"
"Ten."
"Alright. Thank you. BYE."

I hung up the phone. Got REAL excited. Started gathering all my stuff..

Another chemist was rumbling around, trying to finish up some work. She had come back to her cubicle, and was now heading back to the lab.

I yelled out to her, "S, what time you leaving?"
"Oh, in ten more minutes, got some cleaning up to do, and trying to finish this stuff."
"Well, I'm leaving. You work that out. I'll holla! BYE!"

The rule is, if you're working late, you can't work late alone. You have to have someone else there, just in case you tare up stuff or blow something up.

That chick was on her own. I was OUTTA there.

I bought my book. I was real happy!!!

Now, on Saturday night, I believe, Carleen Brice was on a national blog talk radio show. I like listening to these, whether over the computer or on my cell phone. I was listening on my cell phone, and there's an option to speak. But I am too chicken to be "Caller #1", so I just listened.

But I decided to say something that night.

So, they put me on. And I basically said how I told her that I was LadyLee and was excited that the new book was coming out.

She actually remembered who I was. (I read her blog).

Well, she said something that shocked me. "There's a surprise for you in the book."

I don't remember what my response was. I was shocked that, not only had she said that, but she even remembered who I was.

Now, after I hung up, I thought, well, I know there's a chick in the book who has my chronic illness. I was happy for that, because it would be nice to read some fiction where that may be a factor.

I thought, well, that's what she's talking about. That ain't no surprise. They're talking about that on the show.

Cowgirl Cre and I had this brief discussion about it all yesterday.

"Carleen Brice's new book is coming out tommorow!"
"It is?"
"Yes, and she said that there's a suprise for me in the book."
"Really?"
"I think I'm going to be in it. I'm going to be the chick at the cash register. You know , when the main characters go in the store, to buy something, I take there money and-"

Interesting. We laughed hard about this. If there was some random chick named Shaquita in the book, and she was standing at the cash register... well, that was me!

LOL

So now, I have my own copy of the book in my hands. OH JOY!!

Now before I read the book, I like to look at dedications, acknowledgments, interviews, sometimes even the book club questions. Didn't want to look at the book club questions for this book because I wanted to read it without clues as to what will be going down. I wanted a surprise factor.

I turned on the television, sat down on the sofa.

Yelled at Oscar-Tyrone to get away from me. (He was rubbing up against my leg, wanting to be rubbed I suppose).

I look at the acknowledgments, which were in the back, and see this:

Shocked the HELL out of me.

I blinked hard. Oscar got the STEW kicked out of him with my left foot. I banged my big toe of my right foot on the coffee table. Yelled and screamed out of pure happiness AND pain. LOL

I called my sister, who was upstairs in her room.

"Kentucky! Kentucky! Get down here right now!"

She came out of her room, looking totally confused. "What's wrong, Lisa?"

Before I knew it, I was halfway up the stairs. "Look at this!" I punched the book page hard with my hand. "LOOK!!!!"

She saw my name. "That's real nice, Lisa."

*LadyLee cheesing hard like Buckwheat*

Oh goodness. Carleen put me in the acknowledgments. Not only that, but I am holding up the comma that comes behind the great Tayari Jones. (And you all know how I worship the ground that Tayari spits on.)

OH. JOY.

So I have my book. I've started reading it. It is very good! Carleen, you're ROCKING the descriptions and visuals. I pulled out my highlighter on some of that! GO GIRL...

And thanks for the acknowledgment.

I'd been having a bad day... feeling like Lurch.

But now I feel Smurfy again.

You made this Oldgirls day:)

Congrats on the new book. I know it's going to be just as good as the last one!!!

Happy HOT Monday Morning:)

2009-06-22T07:56:00.001-04:00

Good Monday Merning!

Well, not so good. I woke up at 4:40 a.m. this morning... and couldn't go back to sleep. Went to sleep 2 hours earlier than normal, but dang: 4:40 am? Ugh. Not sure what that's about.

I'll get over it.

I had a great weekend, filled with Happy smiling people.

Happy Smiling Sweaty People.

That's because the temperature in my beloved ATL reached 100 degrees this weekend.

Yes we were ALL Happy smiling sweating people!

The current temperature is 77 degrees. We expect a high of 94 degrees.

Uggggghhhhh. HAWT!!!!

I don't like heat.

Yes we are tropical people... but an Oldgirl is assimilated to cooler weather!

My Weekend. I had a great weekend. And I am trying to figure out how not to be longwinded. So we will make it spare, and expand on some parts later? Yeah that's the ticket.

Saturday. Took another field trip out to the Morningside Farmers Market! It was crowded as all get out. I think they had a tour or something roll through there. I had to stand in some looooong lines for my veggies... I'll talk about that tomorrow.

I attended a book club meeting. We discussed J. California Cooper's Life is Short but Wide.

I almost got tossed out the window for giving it a low rating. True enough, she is STILL one of my favorite writers, but I didn't care for the book. You should've seen the looks I got for that one. Overall, everyone really enjoyed it...

After the book club meeting, we celebrated The Green-Eyed Bandit's birthday at a nearby Applebees. I baked PLENTY of chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin walnut cookies for book club, the Bandit, and her son, who celebrated his 13th birthday last Thursday.

I made birthday cards for them both.

Ced is a teenager. He's going to be frowing HARD at his card. I still think of him as a little boy, even though he has a voice full of bass (which irritates the heck out of me. I liked the high squeaky voice!)

Like I said, we went out to eat. I was concerned about finding something vegetarian to eat. (Bandit had to hear me whine "Call them people at Applebees and ask if they got some tofu!)

I tell you, I did well. I had to be STRONG and have a vegetarian meal. It didn't help that there was some spinach artichoke dip and chips sitting on the table near me.

Not to mention the leftover cookies I baked for the book club meeting.

Looks good, ya'll. REAL good. But I didn't take the bait. Not the Oldgirl!

It wasn't on the menu, and I had to ask for something. I had a black bean burger and a salad. (Had to send the salad back because it was loaded with bacon and cheese. They hooked it up the right way after that). That was a GOOD burger. I even went and found some black bean burgers in the store. So I have found something else to diversify my menu!

Of course, my book club sista Star, who I will call the "T-shirt Lady", lol, had on one of her signature shirts.

It read "I make reading sexy".

That chicks goal in life is to shock me. But this shirt was pretty tame.

She even coaxed Green Eyed Bandit into wearing one...

Star even sold shirts out of the back of her SUV.

Star, you are worse than the man that sell the bootleg CDs and DVDs!!!

LOL!

Now...

Sunday.The highlight of my weekend was meeting the one and only Original Oldboy himself...

The Brown Blogger Hassan!!!!

I had dinner with him and his wife, Diva in Demand. We met up at the Whole Foods in Midtown, where they have a gargantuan hot bar, and spent the better part of the afternoon, some 3 hours, kicked back and talking. (Man, that time went by FAST!)

I am so excited that I got a chance to meet him. He is the sole platinum card carryin' Original Oldboy. His words have influenced this Oldgirl much!!

Good to hang out with you and and the Mrs., dude!! We gotta hook up again!!

I came home, with a little itis (I don't get it... Hassan explained it as being the coconut oil in the red beans and rice), and rested for awhile.

Then I skipped down the street to take pictures of my group Superhero, The Infamous Hen-Dog.

Hmmm.... Interesting.

I have been asking this boy to take pictures for my blog for years... Of course Tiny will do the eye candy pics...

Always eager...

But never Hen Dog. Always some excuse. "I have to shave, blah, blah, BLAH!" Whatever man. We as females like the eye candy shots.

So I'd been hollering for the past week about how I'm posting his pictures. He said no, only at the end so that I can show his progress. I reluctantly said yes.

So, I skipped on down the street (He lives 3 houses down), and took pictures.

It was not what I expected. I quickly learned all that bodybuilding lingo, and we had to take several pics over and over until we could see the muscles just right. It was a bit scary, as he has the "cobra back", and the big traps...

Dude has come a LONG way from this.

I took that picture back in 2005 on his front porch. Yep, he's come a long way.

He is twice as big. His girlfriend sat there, painstakingly took notes. (She had to hear me say "Did you write that down?" LOL)

Oh, it was all so anticlimatic, lol!!! I think I even got to a point where I understood all the the bodybuilding lingo.

I wanted to tell her "Make dude jump up on the kitchen table and drop it like it's hot!!

Ya could've at least done that ol' Stanky leg dance, Hen!

I took about 30 pics, and will spend a little time this week trimming and blowing them up, and I will give him a nice CD.

I am glad to help him. He's been planning to compete and looks like he will reach that goal.

Hope you win, Hen-Dog!!

I'll be at that competition! And I'll be waving one of our lab coats and some chemical glassware in the air, cheering hard for ya!! LOL

Anyway, I had a very exciting weekend. Exciting indeed.

So... I have, what, 8 days left on the 30 day posting quest?

I can't wait for it to end. Ya'll might not see me again until August!

Just playing. But it has fun! Well, except for all that Food-for-Thought.

Smurfiness is the order of the day!! Well, I guess I can attempt to do serious things. I am not only talking to you, but talking to myself about things I am trying to correct in my own life.

But Smurfy is where it is at.

Quote of the Month. So, I'd like to leave you with what has to be the Quote of the Month. Yeah, I know it's not the end of the month yet, but this quote takes the cake:

It is from That Original Oldgirl The LBeezy, from the post "big chop drama" :

"Building up self-esteem is like establishing good credit...it takes time."

Yeah... that's a good one. Everything is a process. Not instant.

That's not a quote. That's a revelation.

Really though.

Good one, Beezy. That one is tacked up on the wall of my cubicle. Good one.

With that said...

Ya'll have a GOOD week. Period.

No ifs, no ands, no buts. Make it a good week... on purpose.

Sunday Scripture III

2009-06-21T09:39:00.001-04:00

A good friend of mine asked for a scripture concerning worry.

I know one well... I speak it to myself when I get to worrying too much!

"Be careful about nothing"

I knew it was off in the new testament, in the book of Phillipians. So I went and looked it up for her and emailed it to her.

As a matter of fact, that is exactly what the King James version says:

KJV

Phillipians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

That verse is interesting... it means don't worry about stuff, but just pray about it.

I sent this to my friend.

Now... let me go back to January.

Back in January, we had a church fast. As a part of that, we were asked to spend an hour praying every day.

Interesting. I was a tad bit concerned by that, because you know, just being honest here... I have other things to do. An hour is A LOT of time.

But I challenged myself. I could get up an hour earlier every morning and pray.

Something really wierd happened behind that. Very odd.

I had a lot of peace during that time.

And it wasn't a normal level of peace. It was something that I couldn't understand, couldn't explain.

I think I talked to my coworker about it... She was doing something similar.

I asked, "Is it just me, or is it a different type of peace going on."

It was hard to explain to her. Shoot man, I couldn't even explain it to myself.

She basically agreed with me... Made me feel a little better.

Made me think "Uh, yeah... I need to keep my prayer life consistent!"

My mind was VERY quiet during that time. Wasn't worried about a doggone thing. If issues came up, I kind of just shrugged.

"It'll work itself out."
"How?" someone would ask.
"I don't know. Just know it will be okay."

Hmm...

NOW... going back to that scripture. When I was looking up the verse to send to my friend, I decided to read that very next verse that followed behind it.

And I saw something that peaked my interest, raised my eyebrows...

King James Version

Phillipans 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Now, I'm not big on the King James version. I don't talk like that. I try to read the versions that kick me in my teeth a bit. That way, I can remember it better.

And I chew on a verse like it's chewing gum...
Chew it until my teeth and jaw muscles ache.
Squeeze as much of the flavor out of thas possible, lol.

So, I looked up these verses in other versions of the bible. Heck Biblegateway.com has a gazillion versions.

Take a look at what I found:

Message Version:

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

CEV

Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.

Darby Translation:

Be careful about nothing; but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses every understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts by Christ Jesus.

Worldwide English (New Testament)

Do not worry about anything. Talk to God about everything. Thank him for what you have. Ask him for what you need. Then God will give you peace, a peace which is too wonderful to understand. That peace will keep your hearts and minds safe as you trust in Christ Jesus.

Living translation

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

NIRV

Don't worry about anything. Instead, tell God about everything. Ask and pray. Give thanks to him. Then God's peace will watch over your hearts and your minds because you belong to Christ Jesus. God's peace can never be completely understood.

All of that was very interesting.

It lit this Oldgirl's hair on fire.

And it explained A LOT of what I couldn't explain.

First of all this is a good "what, why, and how" scripture. In other words, it answers a LOT of question.

1. What's wrong? You are worried about some stuff. Something's got you all discombobulated.

2. What do you do about it? You pray about it.

3. How do you pray about it? Take it to God. Tell him what you need

4. What else should you do? Don't forget to give thanks! Give thanks for all that he has seen you through in the past... (We ALL have the long laundry lists of past accomplishments and triumphs and miracles. You know you got some). And give thanks for Him working on this current stuff you praying about.

5. What is the result of this? Peace of mind.

6. What is the reason for all this? For worry to be displaced out of your mind.

Well looking at each translation, I can deduce some very interesting things about this so called "peace".

It is a higher order of peace. It is a peace on some other level, not attainable within one's onself.

A peace that surpasses all understanding.
A peace equal to God's wholeness settling on you.
A peace that no one can completely understand.
A peace which is considered a blessing.
A peace that is too wonderful to understand.

Interesting. Shoot... I can use that type of peace all the time, you hear me?

But the part that really lit my hair on fire is the answering of the following questions.

What is the reason for the peace? What is the purpose of this higher order of "peace"? This God type of "peace".

Displaces worry.
Guards your heart and thoughts.
Keeps your heart and mind safe.
Watches over your heart and mind.
Controls the way you think and feel.

Very interesing... A peace that would control the way I think and feel.

This helps me to understand very critical.

There is always something controlling the way I think and feel. This in turn determines my approach to handling my situations.

We see everyday that people choose the wrong way to handle problems. Cuss folk out. Shooting peeps. Killing folks. Tearing up stuff. All kinds of odd behavior.

Would a peace that controls the way one thinks and feels cause a different behavior?

I submit that it will...

For I don't know about you, but as for me, a lot goes on in my mind before I decide to handle something in a radical way. I have rehearsed it in my head. I have meditated on the thing. Have become more upset by the minute.

I remember all that praying back in January. I remember coming to a point of praying about some of my own personal isshas...

And the peace and calmness that came from that.

I remember thinking... It's like something or someone came along and took a towel and pressed and scraped the untouchable gunk off the walls of my mind, cleaned it up and replaced it with new paint.

That is the best way I can explain it, and that explanation doesn't quite cut it.

It was really disturbing because I didn't know how to explain it. Just was glad for it, you know what I mean?

This thing was peace. A peace that can't be explained or understood.

And it really controlled the way I thought and felt. Really.

A good verse indeed.

One I've written down on a notecard for sure. One that, as you can see, lol, I've really explored.

And I hope it helps you today.

I really do.

This has been Sunday Scripture with your friendly neighborhood Oldgirl LadyLee

Happy Fathers Day to all the Fathers... and to all the Mothers who have had to be both Mother and Father.

And to My Heavenly Father who manufactures the air I breathe.

As always, I leave you with a song... One of my favorites by Canton Jones.

He goes to my church. I sat behind him once... I shook his hand and was cheesing down when he turned around, almost yelling...

"Canton, I really like your CD! I love it!!"

I was cheesing hard like Celie. I could hardly concentrate from the moment I walked in, thinking "Is that Canton Jones sitting in front of me?????"

He said "Thank you, glad you like it."

That first CD of his had to be the best hip hop/R&B soul gospel album I've ever heard.

Here's one I like, and found funny.

Have a great Sunday... on purpose.

Happy Birthday Green-Eyed Bandit!!!!

2009-06-20T08:42:00.003-04:00

I would be remiss if I didn't wish The LadyLee blog's biggest fan a very happy birthday!

Happy Birthday to the Delta Hound, aka, Green-Eyed Bandit (pictured here with her lil' bro)!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREEN-EYED BANDIT!!

It's this chick's MISSION in life to keep the House of LadyLee going. She thinks more about my blog than I do. Let's just say, if I miss a few days posting, this chick will email the HELL out of me... If I'm still not posting, she will call and simply say...

"Where my post at, Man?"

*LadyLee kicks the hard eye roll*

And she tends to send me post ideas. I've been wanting her to do some guest posts, but she refuses. Wants ME to do all the work. (Ya busta).

And as celebration of her birthday this month, I'm posting every day for the month of June.

(Just so she won't HASSLE me.)

(And I'm NEVER doing this again because it is driving me NUTS!)

But it is nice to get a call saying how much she liked a post. That's better than the interrogation concerning not posting, lol.

I met Green-Eyed Bandit some 4 years ago. She is my book club sista. Chick didn't have much to say to me way back then, and I found out recently that she thought I was a bit to quiet, and wondered why I was even around. (You a busta, Bandit).

But we were a part of the journal writing group some 3 years ago. Of course, I don't have much to say, just listen. (Another book club sista, Cyncere Sista, dubbed me the "Quiet Scientist with a good heart", lol). When I do have something to say (which is a suprise to all), it always starts out "I don't talk much, but I have something to say..."

And Green-Eyed Bandit told me once after one of the meetings

"I always learn something for you."

I thought this was good. Maybe she'll stop looking at me with the hard side-eye. LOL!!

Since then, we've become good friends. She's a real cool chick!

She talked me into going on my very first vacation. (I know if you ask her, she'll tell you how much I whined and fussed).

She was my roommate on the cruise I took for my birthday in February.

This was her family cruise. Some of us book club sistas tagged along.

There was much wailing before the cruise.

"Look here, your family is a bunch of high yella folk. I don't know how I'll blend in."

LOL.

Her response "I got dark-skinned folks in my family, Lee."

"Look Ma... your family is CRAZY. Do NOT get me over in Mexico somewhere caught up in some mess with them. I am not trying to be locked up fooling with ya'll."

I don't know... I think of her family as a bit hardcore, you know, the type of crew who would break legs off of tables and whoop ass now, and ask questions later.

Scary folk indeed.

But they were nice. It was great cruising with them.

I liked the Sister bandits, the Auntie Bandit, and all the cousin bandits...

Everybody was smoking. I wanted so much to say "Yo, can I have a cigarette too?"

Mama Bandit was a real cool chick. She kept us all in check.

Brutha-in-Law Bandit was a straight up fool. You were right about him. Dude is comical!

Nephew and Niece Bandit were some great kids...

Niece Bandit slept in our cabin in one of the pullout bunks. She would knock on the door every night to come in, after the teen club closed.

Green Eyed Bandit, I don't appreciate you not waking up that last night on the ship to let your neice in the room. I had to get up and let her in. I'ma get you back for that one. Watch your back, child.

Stomping around Mexico was fun... Especially when we were drinking and eating nachos in that bar in Progreso, Yucatan.

That bleary eyed guitar player was a bit scary.

I know he had to think we were a bunch of Lushs.

Incidently, Green-Eyed Bandit... I blame you for all that drinking I did. You had me drinking Dragon Blood frozen drinks, tequila, daquiris, margaritas.

You and the crew (Ray-Ray and Kita)--- YA'LL SOME LUSHES!!!

I'm not sure I can hang with ya'll anymore! You lushes.

I had fun though!!! We gotta do that again.

But Green-Eyed Bandit, we've become fast friends over the past few years. I know I can count on you. You are the leader of my finance crew, and you always encourage me to do better. I sincerely appreciate that.

Make it a great birthday! And many more!

Now, you know I have to give the House of LadyLee's #1 fan a virtual barbeque.

So I went out back and fired up the grill!!

We got PLENTY of swine! Ribs galore!!

Plenty of chicken wings! Enough for you ALL !

And you KNOW there's always someone hollerin' about they don't eat pork. GEEZ!!

I see you sneaking the ribs on the sly! But we got that grilled up shrimp and crab for you anyways!

Grilled chipotle shrimp... can never go wrong with those!

Smoked basil shrimps are the bomb!

Crabs on the grill are no joke!

And the Green-Eyed Bandit is a BIG fan of my chocolate chip cookies. I am required to bring a few dozen to every meeting. And she requested a few for her birthday. (Those are baking in the oven right now, gal!)

But we do have some now for the party!

So, that was a good party wasn't it?

Okay... everybody has finished getting their eat on. Now all ya'll got the itis. DO NOT lay down. Take your tails home.

Ya'll need to get up out the House of LadyLee. You don't have to go home, but you need to raise up outta here!! LOL

Happy Birthday Bandit.

To have you as a friend makes me very rich... Very rich indeed. You make me a better person. I am fortunate to know you.

Have a Happy Birthday!!

I will see you later at the book club meeting, and at this shindig we're having at the Applebee's.

(And I have your chocolate chip cookies! OH JOY!)

Food for Thought: "Patience"

2009-06-19T08:39:00.002-04:00

Continuing on with the "Serenity Special", i.e., her list of topics for me to discuss sometime during the month of June.

Patience. Part I.

Part II will be up late next week.

I GOTTA get back to my normal smurfiness.

Ya'll got me thinking too hard.

But I'd like to post an essay from blogger Chele's book Confessions of a Beautiful Woman.

She has kindly given permission to post the essay entitled "Patience".

I think she expresses some wonderful truths here.

Patience

"Patience is a virtue"

"All good things come to those who wait"

"Everything in due time"

One cliche after another.

But when you've been waiting for what seems like forever, who the hell wants to hear another cliche?

How do you know when it's the right time?

Stop banging your head up against the wall.

When it comes to bein patient, the only thing you can be sure of is YOUR time is probably not the right time.

The concept is a difficult one for most of us to accept because we think we know what is best for us. Maybe in most situations we do, however, there are times when we truly just have to let go and reconcile ourselves to the fact that we don't know everything.

Look at it this way - no matter how much you seven-year-old insists that he can drive, you are not going to turn the keys over to him.

God feels the same way about us.

He knows what's best and He knows exactly what we're ready for and what we can handle.

Patience and Faith work hand in hand. We have to have faith that God knows besgt and His timing is perfect.

Look back over your life and and think about all the decisions that you rushed into. All the decisons you made without a plan. Did they work out for the best?

Probably not.

Experience is a wonderful teacher, but if we could learn to be patient from the beginning then we could save ourselves plenty of heartbreak and disappointment. There's nothing wrong with being patient. The Bible says They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength... (Isaiah 40:31).

So while you're waiting, you're getting stronger.

Everything is a process - try to enjoy the process.

When it's the right time you will absolutely know it.

There won't be some miraculous sign, but you will know.

Aww, so nice, so nice... That's why that chick is an Original Oldgirl. Dropping succinct knowledge like that.

Thanks for your words, Chele. They are the fiya.

Really though.

This Food-for-Thought special has been brought to you by the House of LadyLee, with special request for Super Shoe Queen blogger Serenity3-0...

You have MORE than enough to sit off somewhere in the corner and think on. More than enough.

Chele! You're taking a "holiday" as the English would say. Make it a GREAT vacation!

The rest of ya'll: Go have a great weekend... on purpose!

Food for Thought: "To Settle or Not to Settle?" PART II

2009-06-18T00:56:00.002-04:00

So, uh... I've had the most INTERESTING convos off blog concerning Part 1 of the Settling post.

Ya'll some heavy thinkers out there!

We're continuing with that Oldgirl Serenity's request for me to scatter my thoughts all out over the floor of the House of LadyLee for all to see concerning this thing called...

Settling.

Settling in any situation, like for a man, for a job... anything.

I've beared heavily on the "settling for a man" issha because I feel like, as black women, that is one of our biggest concerns in life. That is a sticky point of weakness for many of us.

So, I guess I will continue on in that vein.

Remember, the opinions expressed here are the express opinions of That Original Oldgirl LadyLee. Period. Ain't talking about you, I'm talking about me, from my own personal experiences.

Maybe you can pull something from it, something that you can add to your own personal truths.

I'm just here to give you a mere glimpse into this Oldgirl heart of hearts.

I must warn you, I couldn't figure out how to write this post, so it is more stream of consciuosness than anything. It loops and curves like a roller coaster, all over the place.
But if you read the parts highlighted in green then you'll get the gist of where I am getting at.

So, with that... let's begin.

There's a book I love oh so very much because of the simple yet powerful truths that lay within it's pages.

Michele Matthews, Blogger Chele's Confessions of a Beautiful Woman.

That book really solved a few personal isshas for me. Really. Why, I love it so much that I'm giving away several copies in give-a-way contests this year to folks who hang around the House of LadyLee.

The essay, "10 Things I wish Mom had Told Me", was one of the most poignant peices in the book. Chele spoke of the 10 things that she wished her mother would have talked to her about, and she writes briefly about why she wished Mom would've said something to her concerning such.

2 quotes stick out in my mind:

"Don't give your heart away to someone you aren't sure will take care of it."

and

"Develop a relationship with God before you try to have one with a man."

I imagine that Chele wrote these things (and correct me if I am wrong, Chele), because she, like myself, had entered into relationships where she had doubts whether that man could handle her heart as it should be handled, and/or her relationship with God was just not quite right before she entered into relationships with a few men...

As a result, some of those relationsips (well speaking for myself) came out to be the result of one thing:

Settling.

Settling for what was beneath me.

Settling for a relationship that is simply not for me.

You may say, "Well, LadyLee, don't be so hard on yourself. Stuff happens."

I beg to differ.

My sister turned me on to the most interesting book this winter, something she had to read for class. Well it was more like "Lisa, read this book and tell me what it's about. I have to write a paper on it."

I was NOT happy about it. But once I started reading it, it broke down (very scientifically) something that I've always known.

The name of the book is Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking.

It nicely lays out that you know when you're dealing with crazy folk. You knew you weren't suppose to be in a relationship with that man YEARS ago. You saw he had issues. But you chose to ignore it all.
Could probably fill up a whole notebook with all his issues.

But..You chose to settle.

Settle for someone who was beneath your standard.

You choose to give your heart to someone who might NOT be equipped to handle it.

I told my sister the gist of what that book was about. About trusting your "first instinct" or as Serenity said in the comment section of trusting your "first mind".

"My 'first' mind never steers me wrong. It's the second and third thoughts or the voices of the peanut gallery that I need to stop listening to."

That book was extremely technical, but it delved into the complexities of that "first mind". I was glad I read that book. It made me think.... about all my reasonings, and all the times I chose to settle. My sister read some of it, and we discussed it. It was all very enlightening. I thought it was just me who thought such things.

And I must admit that I tend not to listen to my "first mind". Oh, I do in many cases, like when it comes to men. But I fall short in other areas of my life.

What is the reason for this?

Why do we not listen to our "first mind", and continue to go on and on until something happens where we KNOW it's time to go?

Shoot man... Why it gotta be YEARS later before we decide "I'm through with this."?

The answer is deeply ensconsced within one simple passage early in the book of Proverbs.

Proverbs 3:5-7

CEV:
With all your heart you must trust the LORD and not your own judgment, always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow. Don't ever think that you are wise enough, but respect the LORD and stay away from evil.

Message Version:
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil.

That passage is simple enough, yet complex...

At any rate, it is a straight arrow shot back to Chele's thought of

"Develop a relationship with God before you try to have one with a man."

I have found that in any area of my life that is a bit shaky, and I am in "settling" mode, well... there's a direct correlation to my relationship with God concerning that area. Not sure that is clear. Don't know how to make it all that clear except to say that concerning that shaky area of interest, my relationship and my listening to God is VERY weak. My TRUST in God is virtually nonexistant in that area.

In other words, I am leaning on my own understanding.

Even getting over into assumption... assuming stuff.

Assumption, you know, is the lowest level of human thought.

You have to understand something: our way of thinking and understanding is being subtlely shaped and molded daily by everything we read, everything we hear, everything we say, everything we do.

That's why that whole Rhianna/Chris Brown thing was so dangerous: we can extrapolate from that that it's alright to settle. Some young girl out there, in a bad situation... her understanding was shaped by that.

For me, I can get real specific... I go a bit past the whole "leaning on my own understanding" phenomena...

I'm caught up in my own personal motives and personal agendas.

I'm being selfish, quite self-serving in fact.

I hate to admit it, but 'tis true. I test all of my decisions in the light of that.

Many of us pray about things. And I believe, once we pray, the clock is ticking down to when the thing comes to past. But sometimes, a hiccup, a decison occurs where we say, essentially, "Yeah, I've prayed about this, but God, You too slow, so I'ma do MY thang! You're not doing this thang the way I want it done, so I got this. Holler at you later!"

I don't know about you, but I have been that way about things. Still am in some cases.

I've gotten a clear answer, clear direction on what to do and I mess around and say "Yeah, I hear you, Lord, but I'm gonna do my thang."

I've even gotten downright crazy and said "I don't care what you say, THIS is what I'm going to do. That answer You're giving is quite stupid!"

(I'm glad that "God striking peeps with lightening" bizness is uh... not true, lol)

And the results are disastrous... The results of me leaning on my own understanding are just bad.

These days, if I get an answer I don't agree with I say silently to myself, "That don't make a doggone bit of sense, and is a bit silly and stupid... but let me go write this down and do it anyway."

For God can see around the corners of my life... I can't.

And it is always EXACTLY what I need to do in the situation. Exactly.

Listen...our minds are so finite. I wish so much that I could see around the corners of my life. If I could see what was waiting for me around the corner, I wouldn't settle for this dude who is falling short of my expectations.

I've not seen around the corners. But I do credit one person for showing me what the RESULTS of settling is.

My mother.

My mother absolutely scares me sometime. Well, not anymore, but she has always left me perplexed. She has settled for men who basically reside in the underbelly of society. I mean, real lowlifes. This last sucka she was married to... Man, I tell you, that dude said he didn't want her kids around AT ALL. Dude was a horrible alcholic. His kids were on drugs. He'd accuse us of stealing. Messed up my Mama's credit. Told her he would kill her if she ever tried to leave. Just a bunch of craziness.

Mama liked the fact that he was "light-skinned-ed".

Excuse me? Are you serious?

I learned one thing from her: There are consequences to our settling.

Somebody must've been praying for us as children, because it is a suprise- no, a wonder- to me that we hadn't been molested or are not dead (although one of her boyfriend's did try to kill me and my mama. I've looked at her sideways for the past 33 years).

Not only are we emotionally affected and wounded by our settling, everyone around us is affected by it. I mean, the emotional carnage abounds, and it's not a good thing. I'm more bitter, more upset, more of all the wrong things... and so is everyone around me, who's dependant on me or who is close to me.

Now if that is a reason not to settle, I don't know what is.

I must be honest. I didn't want to get a divorce, even though I had settled, and the situation was obviously just not good for me or him. The main reason why is that I didn't want to wade through all these jokers out here in this here dating game, didn't want to roam clubs looking for men, didn't want to do all this expected competing with other women.... didn't want none of that.

Not my idea of fun.

But I prayed about it. Asked God to help me in that area, where I would make sound decisons. I asked Him to make my life very full.

I think I prayed that prayer some 6 years ago. And it has been answered beyond my wildest imaginations. Far beyond.

When asked what the most amazing prayer I've prayed that has been answered is, I point to THAT.

Really.

To settle or not to settle?

I have answered it for myself.

I will let you ponder... and answer for your ownself.