The Asylum

Is the Asylum still running?

2009-03-27T14:36:00.000-04:00

Or have the inmates managed to cure themselves?

Something to say

2008-09-05T13:38:00.002-04:00

Well... I got nothing. You?

It's a C-O-N...spiracy

2008-01-31T15:35:00.000-04:00

Many people are unaware of the events surrounding the Rot-N-Chow event in Rockford Michigan. It is a deeply protected secret, about the happenings on that day. Apparently, from what I have heard, some “zombie wrangler”, I kid you not…this is a person who handles zombies…apparently lost control of his flock during a shoot.

According to unconfirmed sources, the death toll was in the dozens. Supposedly some big-haired blonde actress is missing.

Anybody hear anything about this besides me?

The Dip Has Been Removed

2007-07-18T09:56:00.000-04:00

Upon the birth of his fifth offspring, War decided to inform pestilence of the blessed event. War was informed by the remaining resident that Pestilence no longer resided at this address. This meant she no longer resided with this resident. This meant that this resident was NOT part of her life anymore.

There is no longer Dip.

Pestilence is Free to join the other three horsemen in the End of The World. Early reports indicate that War and Famine are ecstatic. Rumor has it that Death is moving to Portland, and could not be reached for comment.

Asteroid's Revenge!

2006-12-02T22:35:00.000-04:00

*Cough, cough* Er, sorry about the dust...

Just had to bring this in. It seemed perfectly appropriate for this place.

If you ever felt sorry for those poor defenseless Asteroids in the classic arcade game, here is your chance to help them get revenge.

Suitably off kilter enough for Asylum folks, I think. Enjoy!

[Via Boing Boing.]

Blasting off!

2006-09-18T07:21:00.000-04:00

Way too long since anyone has posted here, and something really cool happened, so here I am.

Today a woman is on her way to the ISS as the first female paying space tourist. In and of itself, this might not really merit a mention. Several others have already ridden up to the station on Russian rockets for tours and after all, the ISS is kind of a bad joke at this point anyway. But it's what we have. Of course, the fact that the Russians are the ones with the capitalist spirit who offer this opportunity also reeks of an brutal irony.

But this woman is kind of special, and because of who she is it's worth mentioning this trip. Anousheh Ansari was born in Iran. She came to the U.S. as a teenager, not speaking any English. Nevertheless she pursued advanced degrees in engineering by the time she was in college. She and her husband formed a company that eventually sold for millions. They went on to sponsor the X-Prize which two years ago awarded $10 million to the team that launched Space Ship One, the first privately owned spacecraft to reach the edge of space.

She's a remarkable woman and an example of true entreprenurial spirit.

Ad Astra Anousheh!

Ode to Petroleum and Pharmaceuticals

2006-06-21T10:59:00.000-04:00

I never thought I'd ever live
to watch my nation freely give
It's integrity and it's class
For little pills and cheaper gas.

I never thought I'd see the day,
When democracy up and ran away
When the torch on the Statue of Liberty
Was the symbol of all that was not free.

I never thought I'd hear it said
That the freedom for which my fathers bled
Had been sold to the pharma-kings and big oil
And that they alone would benefit from my toil.

I never thought I'd live to see
The silencing of the brave and muzzling of the free
to prevent them from saying with voices raised loud
when this is all wrong for fear of the crowd.

I never thought it would come to pass
when the vellum we stored under glass
and claim as our precious source of light
could be used to bring about endless night.

I never thought it could come to this
that in our greed we could be so remiss
To set aside the cries of both the poor and the needy.
And forget...it's about We the people, not you the greedy.

Bing, Bang, Boing!

2006-05-25T16:39:00.000-04:00

I totally had this game when I was a kid. I LOVED that thing. It was so much fun to set up different sequences and watch as a string of marbles (steelies) bounced through the series of little trampolines. I didn't remember what it was called until this post turned up. Thanks, Boing Boing!

And now a quick note about diet pop.

2006-04-10T12:37:00.000-04:00

Nillyyyyyy! Step away from the Diet Coke and Mentos.

Do NOT try this experiment at meetings.

One of these days I'll find that poem Jymi wrote. I know I have it somewhere. In one of those $&*#%^@ boxes.

If you thought tornadoes were funny...

2006-04-04T13:56:00.000-04:00

Man oh man!

Those tornadoes just crack me up every time. That's comedy!

But if you think that's funny, wait 'til you get a load of this:

Nuclear test footage set to the William Tell Overture. Produced by our very own Department of Energy and you can own a copy of your very own. The preview is free.

Top that!

(Hat tip: BoingBoing)

Grimagix sister city?

2006-04-01T12:37:00.000-04:00

How's this for an oddity? A man who has created extremely detailed maps and other info about a complete city that exists only in his own head.

He's even published a book, Urville, of his drawings and descriptions of this city.

Now, who else do we know with such contact with the Other Places?

Cans of Crazy in Closet

2006-03-23T16:27:00.000-04:00

At our facility, we let the dead walk around freely. But apparently some hospitals are not quite so liberal.

These folks had 5000 dead people canned up in the closet.

Let the comments commence.

Hoist the mains'l! Yo, ho, ho!

2006-03-23T14:31:00.000-04:00

Pirate fashion is IN!

I can hear Jerry Seinfeld whining in the back.

The Scariest Place on Earth!

2006-03-20T11:07:00.000-04:00

This place simply terrifies me.

I'm reminded by the Professor's post of a cartoon that I saw many years ago which perfectly summed up my sentiments about these characters. It portrayed a couple of astronauts in spacesuits on an obviously alien landscape. Gathered around them was a crowd of small smiley-face men looking up at the astronauts. One of the 'nauts says to the other, "If I hear 'Have a nice day' one more time I'm going to start kicking them."

Of course, Bon Jovi gets no pass on this.

Couch Jumping for the Uninitiated

2006-03-20T10:01:00.000-04:00

Couch jumping was never a term one associated with a movement or ideology. This is until someone mildly famous did it and then went off on a rant about the enemy within the psychiatric industrial complex. But since it is now in vogue...I would like to dive from the davenport, cha-cha on the chaise and samba on the sofa with the rest of the crowd.

I have been lead to believe, from things read at www.synyx.com that this is where crazy people go to find out that they are really sane.

Is this true? If so, where do I check in?

Nobody's posting anything here

2006-03-09T02:57:00.000-04:00

So I figured I'd put something up.
And here it is!
No real content whatsoever.
Just a pointless post.
Just takin' up space on the board.
Just wasting electrons.
Aren't you glad you checked?

I just gotta

2005-12-03T22:57:00.000-04:00

It's been too long now since the last zombie posting here, so I just have to link to this. Glenn Reynolds has taken note of the comeback of zombies. Which is kind of redundant isn't it? I mean, isn't that the definition of zombie? One who has come back?

The works of Man

2005-12-03T18:43:00.000-04:00

This is just a beautiful image. (Via The Corner.)

(Click to enlarge.)

A Link That Works

2005-12-02T21:36:00.000-04:00

This is the kind of thing that goes on around here.

Sigh...I Guess It's All On Me...

2005-11-26T06:24:00.000-04:00

...to post an entry that has nothing whatsoever to do with zombies. One wonders at the irony.

This story does my heart good. It's nice to see that the spirit of Grimagix is alive and well in more places than my apartment. (Of course, the spirit has been alive and well for centuries; they just call it something else.)
I believe in Faeries. They've been mucking about with the PA system!

(I'm going to post the entire text of this in the Forum, so when the Times takes it down we'll still be able to read it.)

Zombie law

2005-11-23T09:59:00.000-04:00

Well, I really always thought lawyers were all just brain-eating undead monsters anyway (or in Glenn's case of course, puppy-eating), but he and Brandon Denning really bring it home in their latest Law Review article. Plus Emily Litella! Never mind.

I swear, this blog really isn't just all zombie stuff. We have more to say here. Really. Guys? Anybody have any non-zombie stuff? Anything? Guys? Where is everybody?

Zombies are sure popular these days!

2005-10-18T14:17:00.000-04:00

I guess Jymi was just ahead of her time. Everybody's getting into the undead swing of things it seems.

I promise this will be my last post about zombies until the next one. I can't help it. I walked around with zombies all day last Saturday and I can't stop thinking about it. They really were all pretty nice people. Maybe I misjudged them before. Sorry S'Ferrin.

More hot zombie action!

2005-10-17T12:12:00.000-04:00

I'm really not trying to keep focusing on the zombie aspect of this place, but when you are hanging out with zombies, you start to notice other zombies hanging around too. Hence...

Apparently we weren't the only zombie mob around last Saturday.

(Thanks again to BoingBoing.)

Zombies are everywhere

2005-10-17T09:06:00.000-04:00

They are rather "crafty" creatures and they turn up in the oddest of places.

Check out these knit zombies as they reenact scenes from Dawn of the Dead.

(Via BoingBoing.)

What the hey?!

2005-10-06T08:06:00.000-04:00

Alright you guys! What are you all up to? We duck out for a few drinks and you start rigging this place up like a deathtrap. Let's start getting - GAAAAACKK! Hey!! What's the deal with the wires in the doorways?! Everybody! Back to your rooms.

I have a few things to share that have merited noting for quite some time. These are unaffiliated links, but of definite interest to Inmates of Our Lady of Death and Dismemberment (aka Dr. Dirk's Asylum.)

It's surprising how many items of relevance turn up on Boing Boing. But after all, it is "A Directory of Wonderful Things," and we are all about the wonderful here at Dr. Dirk's.

So without further ado:

Alternate reality game turns online poker into tombstone parties in cemetaries.

This one is just odd: eBay: "Fresh Cut Human Hair Ponytail + Cut Picture"

1918 killer flu reborn:

Taubenberger's team used pieces of virus taken from preserved samples from 1918 victims, as well as from the corpse of a victim dug up from a frozen grave in Alaska in 1998.

They used these pieces to make a replica of the 1918 virus, and brought it back to "life" -- viruses are not truly alive like other microbes -- by combining it with modern influenza virus pieces and growing it in bacteria.

Then there's "Spirit criminals" which is just sad and hilarious at the same time. Just click the link. Related Background. I could go on about this all day. Don't get me started.

This is totally cool!: Winchester Mystery House tour-guide blogs off-limits rooms.

That's it for now. Do your reading and quit trying to hurt people. We want people to visit! S'Ferrin, what have you dug up now? Stop that! Didn't you see the item above about viruses? Who knows what kinds of bugs those things are walking around with? Not everybody is quite ready to be dead you know.

UPDATE: Just to preempt anyone who might be tempted (you know who you are!) I have to alert everyone about this truly evil device - the Mind Molester. Do not, I repeat, NOT bring one of these to the Asylum. The folks here are crazy enough already.