Branch of Vine

What He is to me

2009-12-29T09:09:00.001-05:00

I got this in an email from a dear sister. I thought it is worth sharing...

What He is to me?

He is the First and Last,
The Beginning and the End!

He is the keeper of Creation and the Creator of all!
He is the Architect of the universe and the Manager of all times.
He always was, He always is, and He always will be ...
unmoved, Unchanged, Undefeated, and never Undone!

He was bruised and brought healing!
He was pierced and eased pain!
He was persecuted and brought freedom!
He was dead and brought life!
He is risen and brings power!
He reigns and brings Peace!
The world can't understand him,
The armies can't defeat Him,
The schools can't explain Him, and The leaders can't ignore Him.
Herod couldn't kill Him, The Pharisees couldn't confuse Him, and The people couldn't hold Him!
Nero couldn't crush Him, Hitler couldn't silence Him,
The New Age can't replace Him, and "Oprah" can't explain Him away!

He is light, love, longevity, and Lord.
He is goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, and God.
He is Holy, Righteous, mighty, powerful, and pure.

His ways are right,
His word is eternal,
His will is unchanging, and His mind is on me.
He is my Savior,
He is my guide, and He is my peace!
He is my Joy,
He is my comfort,
He is my Lord, and He rules my life!

I serve Him because His bond is love,
His burden is light, and His goal for me is abundant life.

I follow Him because He is the wisdom of the wise,
the power of the powerful,
the ancient of days, the ruler of rulers, the leader of leaders, the overseer of the overcomers, and is to come. And if that seems impressive to you, try this for size.

His goal is a relationship with ME!
He will never leave me,
never forsake me,
never mislead me,
never forget me,
never overlook me and
never cancel my appointment in His appointment book!

When I fall, He lifts me up!
When I fail, He forgives!
When I am weak, He is strong!
When I am lost, He is the way!
When I am afraid, He is my courage!
When I stumble, He steadies me!
When I am hurt, He heals me!
When I am broken, He mends me!
When I am blind, He leads me!
When I am hungry, He feeds me!
When I face trials, He is with me!
When I face persecution, He shields me!
When I face problems, He comforts me!
When I face loss, He provides for me!
When I face Death, He carries me Home!

He is everything for everybody everywhere, every time, and every way.

He is God, He is faithful. I am His, and He is mine!

My Father in heaven can whip the father of this world.
So, if you're wondering why I feel so secure, understand this...

He said it and that settles it.
God is in control, I am on His side,
and that means all is well with my soul.

Everyday is a blessing for GOD Is!

Gift of Pain

2009-12-17T11:32:00.004-05:00

What if there wasn't any pain in this world? What if humans, animals and birds didn't have the ability to feel pain? At the surface, we might think that it would be wonderful to live a totally pain-free life. But is it so?

Few years ago, I read a book called "Gift of Pain", written by Dr. Paul Brand, who was a medical doctor and a missionary to India and worked amongst people suffered from leprosy. Leprosy starts with the symptom of losing one's ability to feel the sense of touch and a corresponding inability to feel pain and temperature.

What happens if you lose the ability to feel pain? You will injure yourself badly. You will get disfigured by self-amputation. The damaged bodies of lepers are mostly a result of self-inflicted injuries (i.e stepping on nails, touching something too hot). As part of the treatment, Dr. Brand offered custom-built footwear for the patients to wear all the time, so that they won't self-inflict injuries.

Though the book starts with the premise of bodily pain, it goes beyond that into emotional pain and spiritual truths as well. It is the first time my perspective shifted to see pain from a different angle - pain as a gift. I agree, no one likes pain, yet if you think, isn't pain a gift?

What if we didn't feel any pain when relationships are broken? What if we have a numbing insensitivity towards death, rejection, unforgiveness, hatred and ridicule? Would we ever appreciate life, acceptance, forgiveness, love and peace?

I think pain is essential. Life, with all its challenges is a gift. Without pain, I think, we wouldn't even know we have a valuable, beautiful life. Can you imagine living in a pain-free, fallen world? We would easily endanger ourselves. In a world filled with a million ways of instant-gratifications and easy methods of escapism from sufferings by depending so much on pain killers and mind-numbing chemicals to alter our thinking, have we ever thought that there might be a purpose for the existence of pain? And there might be a solution beyond the mere painlessness?

How grace destroyed my prayer life.

2009-12-10T13:13:00.003-05:00

My prayer usually started with "My loving father in heaven" for a long time. Eventually I got bored with that salutation, so I tried few others such as "My precious Father", "Our loving gracious Father in heaven" or simply "Lord Jesus". I was taught that quoting Scriptures while praying is very effective. In other words, we might get more action from God if we claim things which he had promised in the Scriptures but have forgotten to give to us.

Every time, during the family prayer in the evening, I wanted to make sure my kids followed the Christian discipline of sitting in full attention with their eyes closed. I was proud of being a perfect Christian Dad, making sure even our 2 year old followed my strict prayer-time discipline.

Depending on who is present, most of my public prayers were directed to them, kind of using the prayer time to preach to them or to show off my religiosity. After all, that’s the only time they are forced to be silent and listen to me. When my parents (who are not protestant Christians) are present, I threaten them through my prayer about the countless punishments God is going to send on them if they don't accept my belief system. My conscious effort there was to prove them wrong and prove me right.

Depending on whom I am praying with, my prayer changed. I pray the most hypocritical prayer if there are unbelievers around. In the midst of super hyper believers, I pray as if I am also super hyper like them. You know, praying for the souls perishing all over the world? I knew how to add a touch of unbearable pain to the tone of my prayer to make it more dramatic.

Do you want to add more excitement and power to your prayer? Add more loud "Hallelujahs".

In short, my public prayer was a show and my private prayer was mostly a laundry list of things I thought I couldn't live without.

Grace destroyed all this drama and made it unbelievably simple. I can't believe I did all that for so many years. I feel embarrassed. Now when I pray, I hardly know that I am praying. It is like talking to a real person. It's a joyful occasion of tremendous freedom, peace and love. I don't mind talking silly things to Him. Now I don't necessarily want anyone around when I pray because I know that my prayer might sound very silly and child-like; mostly do not make any sense to the people who don't know where I am coming from.

And I think that's ok.

Let's not keep the common sense aside

2009-10-29T12:16:00.007-04:00

I have been listening to the 'growing in grace' podcasts a lot lately. In more than one episodes, I heard Mike Kapler saying, "let's not keep the common sense aside". He says that especially when it comes to obedience and keeping the law.

I think, being honest to ourselves is all it takes to come to the conclusion that religion doesn't work. It doesn't matter which religion it is. Each has its own 'ways' to please their god. For some, their god is pleased when they follow certain set of rules, laws, regulations or a list of do's and don'ts. Some gods are pleased when we gather at particular place at a particular time of a week. Some are pleased when we chant some prayers or starve through fasting. Some are pleased when we put some dollar bills into an offering plate. Some are pleased when we confess all our sins.

I am not excluding Christian religion from this. Christians says their god is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. He is a perfectly holy god. He is self-sufficient. That being the case, isn't it a futile act attempting to please that god through our puny works? Who in their right mind can logically come to a conclusion that they can somehow please god through all these? Not just that, some people think that they can make god angry! As though god has an emotional imbalance or something- easily angered, easily provoked but somehow hard to please.

I feel stupid for believing such a lie for a long time in my life. I thought my god would be pleased when I achieve sinless perfection. I thought I was pleasing him when I did the works of evangelism. I thought, the more I studied the Bible, he is more pleased. The more I set apart a 'quiet time', I thought I can somehow tap into his presence. I thought I could manipulate god through 'effective' prayer (by quoting scriptures, for example). I thought god was a genie who comes out and bless me when I give my money. I kept doing all these for years and years even though I never felt contented nor reached a satisfying point in my life to boldly say that I pleased him. I tried to do all the right things and tried not to do any wrong things to keep god from getting angry at me. But I always felt that I fall short. So, I successfully hid my burned out heart from others.

For a long time in my life, I lived an illogical spiritual life. I kept my common sense aside and listened and followed other illogical spiritual leaders out there. I wasn't even honest to myself. I pretended as if my spirituality was working.

Then there came a time in my life that I had to take a step back and look at the foolishness of my belief system. Trying to achieve sinless perfection? Trying to earn forgiveness through confessing all my sins on a daily basis? Trying to keep the law? Trying to love my neighbors as myself? Trying to love the enemies? Are you kidding?

I didn't know that James said, "whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." Will I ever be accepted by this god? Will I ever be able to say that I confessed all my sins that I am now fully forgiven? Will I ever feel the security of god's love? Will I ever feel any kind of security, contentment or peace?

If you don't cheat in answering those questions, if you can be honest to yourself, the only thing you can do is - give up! That’s true - just give up!

That’s where my journey started. I fist gave up, then God took over…

What's new?

2009-10-13T21:03:00.006-04:00

I am tremendously blessed by the love and encouragement I received from my brothers and sisters through comments to my last post, emails, FB messages etc. I want to thank each one of you from the bottom of my heart. I also want to thank Jesus for this on-line community I am part of. Though its electronic and 2 dimensional, blogging and facebooking are already a huge part of my life now.

In the last post, I mentioned about a pending job opportunity. I want to update everyone that It has worked out in my favor. After a lengthy process (background check etc) and a lot of paper work, on Monday I started on the new job at Ford Motor Company. It's been only 2 days, but so far I like it. Just like any new job, there are times I feel stupid and clueless :). But I think I will get over it as I get the clearer picture of the tasks I have to do in the coming days. I am excited about this opportunity and kind of eager to work.

So, thats the good news!

I like to add something I read over at Joel's blog as an encouragement to those who are currently unemployed and struggling in various ways:

There's nothing going on that God's not aware of. He's in us, He is our life.

He's someone who is conscious about us all the time - inclined toward us all the time - and ever aware of what we're thinking, feeling, saying, doing, being, wanting, contemplating, desiring...

I believe it. Our God is not passive (though sometimes we feel so). He is always holding us in His hands. We are safe, secured and He will turn things into our favor at the end. We may not know how. But He will.

Once again, thank you all and I love you all.

I am still here.

2009-10-04T11:01:00.007-04:00

It's been over a month since I have written anything here. The truth is I didn't have much to share and I didn't feel like doing posts religiously. My primary source of encouragement and spiritual food is usually books and I haven't been reading a lot lately. Reading is what usually keep my mind alive and helps me to focus and stretch my thinking a little.

On September 30th, I became officially unemployed and my wife is unemployed since Aug 30. So in the past few weeks we were spending a lot of our time and energy to upgrade our skills set, posting resumes, attending calls etc. To get a job in this economy, especially here in Motor city, we ought to be very competitive because there are not many hiring and those who hire, hire only the best of the best.

On the otherside, the whole ordeal has been very humbling and it gives me time to reflect upon the lives of people who are struggling without job. It helps me to slow down and spend more time with kids. I am not 'on the go' all the time now.

There are couple of options (contract positions) pending for me which I will have more clarity next week. So I am still waiting. If everything goes well, I will have some official confirmation sometime next week. I don't know what God has in store for me. I will post an update later next week.

I also find myself picking books back again since last week. I am currently reading "Loving our kids on purpose" by Danny Silk, which I am liking very much. It's about parenting from a grace-perspective - love, trust and freedom; just the contrary to much of the worldly parenting principles. I am glad it's not a 'how-to' book.

Thats all for now. Thank you all for the prayers, thoughts and encouragements. I have a lot of unread blog posts in my google reader and I am planning on catching up some of my blog reading in the coming days. Much love, grace and peace to you all.

Shame masquerading as humility

2009-08-31T10:39:00.008-04:00

I am currently reading John Eldredge's "Waking the dead". (A great book, by the way). In it, John made a statement which goes something like this, "Most of the 'christian humility' we see today is nothing but shame masquerading as humility".

Somehow, we are just not ready to accept our goodness, the gift we received from God. The shame created by sin, is still impacting our self-image. I think our biggest fear is that, we think if we unleash our goodness, we may become prideful. So to combat pride, we find a way to tie ourselves at the foot of shame. We call it humility and then we act 'humble'. Talk about bondage!

Saint Iraneus's famous quote "The glory of God is man fully alive", in my opinion, is very biblical. After all, Jesus came to give us Life. "I have come that you may have Life", "I am the way, the truth and the Life". It glorifies God when we receive that life and become fully alive. It also glorifies God, when we fearlessly live that life to the full potential. That is not pride. It's living a life which reflects the glory of God. It is living just like who we truly are - "partakers of the divine nature".

Some thoughts on prayer.

2009-08-28T10:59:00.004-04:00

These are some of my current thoughts on prayer (Some might find it very radical but this where I currently stand. There is no claim that these are accurate but I am open for disagreements/opinions):

I do not believe prayer changes things. I don't believe in phrases like 'earnest prayer', 'pray hard' etc. I do not believe there is any magic in prayer. I also do not believe that one person's prayer is more effective than the other person. I don't believe in 'prayer chains'. I don't believe in those websites where you can post prayer requests. I don't believe in requesting prayer anonymously. I don't believe in praying for the nation, politicians etc. I don't believe in those toll free numbers (e.g: 1-800-PRAYER) where you can call and ask the phone attender to pray for something. I don't believe in 'unspoken' prayer requests, where you don't actually know what the request is but asked to pray blindly.

I don't believe group prayer has more strength than individual prayer. I don't believe pastor's prayer has more effect than the congregant's prayer. I don't believe in those books about 'How to pray?'. I don't believe in 'prayer warriors'. I don't believe the elders prayer is more effective than the youngsters. I don't believe that the people who pray more are more spiritual. I don't believe in praying in tongues.

I have heard people saying "It's my prayer what brought him/her to Christ". I don't believe it. I have heard people saying "It's because of our earnest fasting and prayer that he/she is healed.". Again, I do not believe that. I don't believe that prayer is more effective when we quote Scriptures. I don't believe that the various problems in life (sickness, finance problems, job loss, sins, relationship problems etc) are due to a lack of good prayer life.

I don't believe in religiously praying before each meal, travel etc. I don't believe that the evening 'family prayer' is what keeps a family from falling apart. I do not believe God answers all prayers. I do not believe that God is obligated to answer our prayers. I do not believe the prayer prayed in a church setting is more effective than the prayer done at home, car or coffee shop.

I don't believe in parents doing a "prayer-show" with the intention to get their kids to be more spiritual like them.

I don't believe in promising people that "I will pray for you" every time when he/she shares some burden with me, unless there is a genuine desire in my heart to do that. I do not believe in praying for forgiveness every time I sin. I don't believe in praying out of guilt.

These are the few things I believe about prayer:

The only reason I pray is because I have a desire to talk to my Heavenly Father.
When I pray, regardless of what I am praying for, my attitude always has to be, "Lord, if it's your will...".
I don't muster up prayer just for the sake of praying.
The most hart-felt prayers are not necessarily found in my mouth, rather they are in my heart.
I pray enthusiastically when the Lord himself puts a desire in my heart to pray.
I believe in the sovereignty of God and believe that He is always in control regardless of whether people pray or not.
Prayer (talking to God), in my mind, has to be a natural result of being in a relationship with Him.
When it comes to prayer (or anything else), motivation behind it matters the most.
If you believe in His unconditional love and awesome grace, you will find yourself thanking Him more, than asking Him to do things.

Lastly and more importantly,

Regardless of whether my prayer was answered the way I want it or not, I am still at peace and in total contentment because I know the fact that my Father is in total control of my life and there is nothing which can separate me from His love.

"Who told you that you were naked?"

2009-08-25T15:47:00.004-04:00

What made the humanity to become so self-centered? When God created Adam and Eve, they weren't self-centered. They were God-centered. They walked naked in the garden. They didn't care the fact that they were naked. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame (Genesis 2:25). Look at the animals. All of them are naked.

[This is one thing the evolutionists can't answer. When did humanity start wearing cloths to hide their genitals? What was the origin of the thing called shame? Monkeys don't wear cloths. All of a sudden when the monkey became a human, he started going for shopping at Macy's?]

Adam and Eve bore the glorious image of God when they were created. God created man in his own image. He breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. They were blinded (in a good way) by the glorious harmony they had with God. They not only felt free, but they were truly free. God gave them total freedom, including the freedom to choose evil. (If freedom didn't include freedom to sin, it isn't real freedom.)

They chose to eat from the wrong tree, lost their god-centeredness and gained self-centeredness. They weren't created to posess a knowledge of good and evil, yet they chose to have it. Bible says, "then the eyes of both of them were opened". Ha! All of a sudden, they are looking at themselves. Now they are seeing everything through that newly opened set of eyes. It says, they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves and then they hid.

When God came looking for them, He found them hiding out of shame and asks this question, "Who told you that you were naked?". Which implies that the only third person there, which is God himself, not seeing them as naked. They became sin-conscious. Their god-consciousness died.

The good news is, the Second Adam (Christ) restored it for you an me. He cleansed our conscience (Heb 9:14). He don't expect you to feel shame today. He don't want you to hide from Him. He don't want you to sew your own filthy rags (obedience to the law, self effort, good works etc) today.

If you are in Christ and still going to God begging for forgiveness, thinking that you are rejected by Him when you sin, he is going to ask you this question: "Who told you that you were naked?". It is the law what tells you that you are naked (not worthy, sinful etc). It is the knowledge of good and evil (law) that makes you self-centered. Law only condemns! Law has no place in a Christian's life. (Gal 3:23-25) So, dump the knowledge of good and evil (which you were never meant to have) and eat from the Tree of Life. There is freedom, because there is no condemnation!

Religious Pragmatism

2009-08-20T14:16:00.002-04:00

I read this quote somewhere:

'A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.'

While I don't necessarily agree to this (at least not in all the cases), I would probably agree to a slightly modified version of it:

A great many people think they are "proving" when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Once my Mom told me, if you want you can prove that there isn't any God, using Bible verses. She is not a philosopher and I am pretty sure she heard it from someone else. But there is some truth in it.

Often times people go into the mode of 'proving' AFTER making up their mind. They confront others in an effort to make them buy their ideas while using Bible as a means. "Bible says so...", so I believe. A good example would be, today's churches using verses from the book of Malachi to establish the practice of tithing.

They search Scriptures after making up their minds. They find verses which support what they want to believe. It is like writing the story of the movie after fixing the actors.

This is exactly the mindset behind the religious pragmatism. They think truth is whatever works. If I get results it has to be good. Tithing works, it gives results, so it should be good. The next step is simple: find verses supporting it. "Law" works, it gives immediate results, so it should be good, then follow the simple step of finding the verses. Universalism sounds good, lets find verses supporting it!

To quote AW Tozer on this, he says it like this:

...Preoccupation with appearances and a corresponding neglect of the out-of-sight root of the true spiritual life are prophetic signs which go unheeded. Immediate "results" are all that matter, quick proofs of present success without a thought of next week or next year. Religious pragmatism is running wild among the orthodox. Truth is whatever works. If it gets results it is good. There is but one test for the religious leader: success. Everything is forgiven him except failure...

The sad part is, the results (success) achieved through these practices are merely external. It gratifies only feelings, emotions, insecurities, appearances and our superstitious fears. It isn't good for setting people free, instead it puts them into much bondage. It encourages people to fake.

Ask a Catholic, he would say he 'feel' good when he attend a Mass. So it should be good and spiritual. The thing is everything that feels good is not spiritual. Even, not all good things are spiritual. Everything that 'works' isn't spiritual either. Anything to be called as spiritual, it has to be based on some absolute, unmoving TRUTH. Such absolute truth is not of this world because this world and the people in it are not absolute and unmoving. What works today may not work tomorrow. Everything changes - culture, moral standards, ethics, climate, economy, technology, theology, religion and pretty much everything.

Churches have found a lot of things 'working' and made it into traditions - altar calls, tithing, pastoral authority, organizational structure, pew and pulpit system and all that.

God's grace is a contradiction to 'practical theology'. Grace isn't practical in human terms. It is the impracticality what makes it grace. If it was practical, why call it grace? This is where I have problem when people say God's grace enables them to obey the law. What an oxymoronic statement! You might feel good when you think you are obeying the law. But pls. don't mix grace with your stupidity. Grace is grace! You cannot comprehend it with your dumb mind. You can live in it if you have the mind of Christ.

Yes, it is a fact that our puny brain cannot understand God's grace. I think it is a good thing, because grace was never meant to be understood with our head. Grace is against everything our head want to believe. Our head is so very practical. Grace is totally contrary to any human logic.

It's a heart thing. It's a God thing.

And it comes to our heart through REVELATION. Our heart can accept an impractical/illogical thing only through revelation, not through education. So lets lean on God so that He will reveal this thing called grace, and once you have it, you can pretty much live the rest of your life in total amazement, with an overflowing heart of gratitude towards God. That is what Christian life is all about. It defiles human intelligence.

Leadership in church

2009-08-11T10:46:00.000-04:00

Few months ago, I met a pastor at a birthday party. As we opened a conversation, he asked me where I go to church to. It surprised him when I said I do not attend any church on a regular basis. He was intrigued to know the reason and I shared a little bit of background (not much, because it's hard to explain everything in few minutes and sometimes I don't even know where to begin!). One of the thing I highlighted was that my skepticism and distaste over the practice of leadership in today's churches. I said, I do not believe I have to submit myself under any earthly spiritual authority.

It didn't strike a chord with him.

He took me to a corner and lectured me for the next 90 minutes or so, explaining the different 'levels' of 'anointing'. Interestingly, he did not use any New Testament Scriptures. Instead, he went to OT, took the example of David, explained to me how God anointed David in 3 different levels (the third one was the kingly anointing).

His point was, pastors are generally at the third level of anointing, so its good to be submissive to them. Because they are like Kings.

Of course, I was looking for a way to escape all throughout this conversation. To be quite honest, I felt very weary to even spend my energy explaining him why I do not necessarily agree with his view. It was also an astonishment to see how people develop doctrines from OT stories.

What are your thoughts on the issue of leadership in church today? Do you think pastors have some special anointing? What about the hierarchy in leadership? Do you believe in the 'calling'? Do you believe in any form of leadership at all? Pls. share your thoughts...

Trusting others

2009-08-03T10:57:00.001-04:00

I want to learn to trust people. I was raised in a home where I was taught to be always 'cautious' about others, and the surroundings. A pattern has been developed in my brain that I shouldn't trust anyone by default. My default setting is mistrust and skepticism. It goes beyond people to ideas, philosophies, theologies etc.

This is part of the reason I would ignore the broken cars on the freeway. I know they might need help but I can't trust them.

Mostly I pay no attention to the authors/preachers unless I know them in person or someone whom I trust recommend them. I find it hard to take risk there. I always get uncomfortable when my kids, out of their innocence, attempt to talk to strangers. What if they have an intention to harm my kids?

I know wisdom and a spirit of discernment plays a good role in judging others and their intentions. But I find it hard to balance myself. Deep in my heart, I want to trust people and I want to love people, even strangers regardless of how they look, what they wear etc.

Do you struggle with this issue? Do you trust people first and then love them Or do you love them first and then grow your trust in them? Is fear the cause of mistrust? Shouldn't we fearlessly trust people with a willingness in our heart to face the consequences if we were wrong in judging them as trustworthy?

'Christian' practices?

2009-07-23T09:18:00.005-04:00

Some of the practices which are so ingrained into modern Christianity, yet hard to find it among the early Christians of the first century or in the Bible...

Senior, junior, associate, youth, music pastors
Pulpit-pew structure
Passing of offering plates to collect money
Worship leaders
Worship services
Miracle crusades
Healing services
Health and Wealth preaching
Mid-week services
Building church buildings
Seminaries
Hiring of professional speakers
Clergy ordination, resumes, interviews
Denominations
Leadership hierarchies
Contemporary Vs. traditional services
'Going' to church
Preaching against certain type of sinners
Political endorsements, protests, threats
White church, black church etc
Pentecostal church, baptist church, methodist church etc
Questions such as "What kind of a church you go to?", "How big is your church?", "How many services do you have?" etc
Evangelism department
Making something into a "movement"
Seminars on "how to win souls?", "witnessing" etc
Emphasis on rituals such as Baptism etc
Prayer chains
Altar calls
"Spirit-led" worship Vs. Spiritless worship
Confession
Miracle water, hand kerchiefs etc
"If you are a Christian, you are to be perfect" mentality
Veneration of '10 commandments'
Emphasis on behavior modification, teaching of performance-based acceptance.

Okay, enough...

Your sins are truely forgiven...

2009-07-22T14:24:00.000-04:00

"One thing you lack"

2009-07-15T14:00:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking about the issue of obedience a little further after I wrote my earlier post "Obey or burn". I was wondering if there is an accepted 'limit' for obedience. How far can we obey? What would satisfy God? Or in other words, what would satisfy you or me? And what happens when I fail to obey? Am I rejected? Am I less loved? Am I out of fellowship with God? Does it affect the intimacy of my relationship with God?

If so, What is the remedy? Beat myself up more? Do the confession thing?

Would I be able to go upto "Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48)? Would I be able to reach there one day and call myself as matured and finally righteous?

It seems like God is heartless to raise the bar to such a height. Remember, the rich guy (Mark 10:17-25), who came claiming that he obeyed all the law? What did Jesus say to him? Did he say "well done my son, you finally made it"? No!

He said, "One thing you lack"! (Oops!) And then continued, "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." (Ouch!)

Jesus's response seems like very mean-spirited and cruel. This young guy was jumping (or he thought he was jumping) a 10 ft high bar, but now Jesus raised it to 75 ft. What was the result? He was disappointed! His face fell, it says. He went away sad.

Was Jesus heartless? Shouldn't have Jesus taken pride in seeing a young person who obeys his commandments since his childhood?

He seems to be heartless for those who try to earn or maintain his favor through anything they do. The statement by Apostle Mark, "Jesus looked at him and loved him" (v21) doubtlessly conveys the fact that He wanted the rich young man to see a gift which He came to offer. Unfortunately the young man didn't see the love in the eyes of Jesus because he was so busy presenting his self-righteousness.

A gift cannot be earned. If we strive for a gift, there is always going to be that "one thing you lack". With Jesus, you get everything you ever need. You are perfected and accepted in Him and then you lack nothing; so you may stop striving and may rest in Him. It's a beautiful thing, isn't it?

Obey or burn

2009-07-06T10:30:00.003-04:00

"Obedience". A word Christian religion (or any religion, for that matter) is fascinated about. I have searched the Bible looking for the various techniques to implement obedience as I began my serious Christian walk. Later on, I found this verse : "train yourself to be godly" ( 1 Timothy 4:7). I heard it over and over from a radio preacher and every single time I listened to his sermon, I used to get all motivated. Motivated to 'train' myself to be godly. I figured out that, what is lacking in my Christian life was nothing but a strict, hard-core obedience. if I can make that happen, I would be the most happiest person in the world, I thought.

I pictured myself as a person preparing for an Olympic race. The preacher kept on preaching about the pain, struggle and commitment each Olympic medal winner goes through before they get to their final race. He said, its all worth when we win.

I wanted to win the gold medal. You know, at the time of judgment.

I considered Bible as my coach. I looked for instructions - moral, spiritual, social, behavioral, even dietary guidelines (there was time in my life I stopped eating pork). At any cost, I had to win in the final analysis.

As I jumped through each loops of obedience, I felt so good. I felt proud about myself. I felt proud about my religion. As a result of being strong, committed and ultra self-righteous, I started looking down on people who didn't obey like I did. You know, those sinners! I knew they were going to burn in hell. I couldn't wait to see that.

I had this picture in my mind that God is going to weigh all our obedience on a scale and then make a decision about our eternity.

Can you relate to the never ending cycle of self-analysis? Analyzing each thoughts, decisions and actions. It is a pre-occupation with self. If you had to watch my life, the destructive narcissism was so evident in everything I said and did.

In all my vigorous 'godliness-training', I missed the whole point. Each day, I was dragging my filthy rags to God and making myself a fool for missing out His love and the forgiveness provided on the cross. I labored from the OT premise of "master-slave" mentality and terribly failed to see the beautiful, new covenant-based "Father-son" relationship.

Each time I declared my righteousness through obedience, I was making the cross of Christ a mockery.

Within few years, I was burned out. I felt miserable like hell. As I failed more and more in my attempts to obey, my self-righteousness started turning into self-hatred. The more I failed, the more I felt like rejected by God. My question was, I am genuinely trying to obey His tenants, why is he letting me fail?

It was a never ending cycle of self-righteousness, arrogance, pride, self-pettiness and depression.

I don't want to go there anymore. I am learning to live from the Life within. I want to to be internally driven, not externally. There are no abilities residing in my flesh to live a righteous Christian life, so I leave it to Jesus who lives in me. I am going to trust Him to do it for me, through me. After all, he has called us to a rest (Sabbath rest), not to a struggle.

Ohio...

2009-06-30T09:47:00.004-04:00

I battled with nervousness, excitement, and various inexpressible feelings as I was getting ready to head out to Sandusky, Ohio on Friday to meet with some people whom I have only interacted online. I knew they were real. I knew they knew Jesus. I knew they have a grip on the message I believe, the message of God's unconditional love and grace. I knew all that. That was the exciting fact. But still I was nervous. Nervous about my accent, color, possible cultural differences and what not.

However, I am here to tell the world that it wasn't anything like I thought. The common thread among all of us was very visible, natural and there wasn't any struggle. The heart-to-heart connection was so evident. Meeting with Leonard, Jamie, Joel and Matthew was like a dream coming true and I felt that we were all in one spirit right away. We didn't have to say it loud, we all knew it.

It is a God thing, a chemistry.

Sitting on the park bench and talking about God, life, grace and Jesus was more than enjoyable, calming and serene. I think I can do it for days, weeks, months and years...

Sitting around the fire, cracking jokes, walking around the park, Ryan's guitar treat...

I observed the peace, joy and love in everybody's eyes. It changed my life. I was probably the least expressive among us. These are people who love others whole heatedly, without any reservation. I am convinced only God's love can achieve this.

Thank you Jamie, Matthew, Joel and Leonard... I love you all. Thank you Ryan for telling about farm and farming, It was more than fascinating. Thank you Tracy for those tasty tacos. Thank you Savannah for organizing the Catch Phrase game. It was a total blast! I will remember some of those spontaneous jokes during the game for the rest of my life. Thank you for those ripstick skateboard lessons too. And thank you Noelle and Jared for the impression you made in my heart about how well behaved children can be.

What was it that brought these people together like this? Was it religion? Was it a particular caste, denomination, or class? Was it people trying to show their 'Christian principles'? Was it trying to earn brownie points with God? Was it the name-sake 'fellowship'? It wasn't any of that. It was simply the love of Jesus working in and through each one of us... His agape working through our transformed hearts...

The bloggers - Leonard, Bino, Matthew, Jamie, and Joel

All of us - Bino, Leonard, Matthew, Jamie, Jared, Ryan, Savannah, Noelle, Tracy and Joel.

More pictures are there on Better than we know and Grace Roots

Fear...

2009-06-17T11:39:00.006-04:00

Fear causes us to stumble...
Fear causes us to pretend...
Fear causes us to withdraw...
Fear causes us to be unreal...
Fear causes us to fake...
Fear causes us to be suppressive...
Fear causes us to be oppressive...
Fear causes us to be angry...
controlling...
manipulating...
cruel...
impatient...
complying...
protective...
possessive...
dominating...
shameful...
doubting...
argumental..
protesting...
yelling...
sick...
unproductive...
lifeless...
warring...
envying...
self destructive...
insecured...
uncreative..
rigid...
bound...
inexpressible...
constrained...
paralyzed...
suicidal...
...

And the only true solution to fear is...

Perfect Love!

[1 John 4:18]

Be loved! Be fearless!

'Deliberately' sinning...

2009-06-11T13:45:00.005-04:00

I had struggled with the confusion about what it means to sin deliberately. I have heard so many sermons from the pulpit saying that if you commit some sin and ask forgiveness from God, after repenting, He will forgive you (Need Scripture ref? Look at 1 John 1:9). I did it for years and years. It was kind of like a license to me that I thought, if I can just confess whatever I did and can get forgiven at the end of the day, that's a pretty good deal.

Another thing I have heard from the same pulpits is that sinning is okay as long as you confess; but if you deliberately sin, it is a sin against Holy Spirit, which will not be forgiven. They call it 'unpardonable' sin. And they quote few verses including the famous Hebrews 10:26.

Then I was confused.

If I look into my heart honestly, I have to admit one thing : Every single sin I do, I do it deliberately! When I act selfish, I do it deliberately. When I shout at my wife, that's pretty deliberate. When I cuss the drivers who cut me off on the freeway, that's deliberate. When I lust, that is deliberate. When I envy my co-worker, that's deliberate. What sin is not deliberate? I thought I had no hope.

Is there something called accidental sins?

Did Jesus take away ALL the sins at the cross or just the 'accidental' sins? Did He leave the deliberate sins upto us to deal with, so that we can come up with our own ideas about how to get forgiven? Did He build confession booths for us to go in and confess and get forgiven? Or did He say, "without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness"? Did He die for ALL sins of ALL people? Or Did He die for some sins of some people? Did He say "it's partially finished"? Or did He say "It's Finished" (Paid in full)?

Is sin still an issue between God and man? If so, how do we deal with it without the shedding of blood?

Is God recording any video?

2009-06-01T10:59:00.007-04:00

I just read an excellent post written by Steve McVey on his blog (its written for his new book -"52 Lies Taught In Church Every Sunday" ). In this particular post, he is addressing one of the many lies taught by the church over the years - that our sins are 'covered' under the blood of Jesus.

It sounded right to me that for so many years in my life I believed it. Along with that theology, I had always unconsciously believed that if my sins are covered, He could just dig it up whenever he want to condemn me. I thought, if he wouldn't dig it open in this life, he would certainly expose it one by one on the day of judgment (like it being shown in a recorded video) and accuse me about each of my sins. I was so insecure about that video he is recording. I could never live free because of it. Talk about fear, insecurity, bondage and lifelessness!

The good news is, He isn't recording. In fact, the Devil was recording for sometime, but God (in Christ) snatched it out of his hands and erased it and destroyed the tape. It will NEVER be brought back! Its a done deal. It's FINISHED!

Steve, in his post said it like this: "He has rewritten your history by taking away the sins of your past and giving you the history of Christ Himself."

Here is the entire post - Lies Taught In Church Every Sunday

The 'Christian' difference.

2009-05-19T10:30:00.001-04:00

As a Christian, sometimes I deliberately try to make a difference. Its kind of silly. I try to give a good and nice impression about my life to others. It is my own proclamation, out of my insecurity, that "Look, I am a happy, problem-free person BECAUSE I am a Christian and more than that I am a believer in the grace of God. You have problems? Too bad. You are a loser! I have found the secret spiritual formula for a problem-free life. Humble yourself and ask of me, I might share the secret with you!"

Why are Christians so insecure and some are so adamant to even admit that they have struggles in life? I am here to tell you that, my life is NOT 'heaven on earth'. My life is a life of imperfection, trouble and often times a mess. I have no secret spiritual formula for a perfect life.

I have financial struggles, sickness and all that, just like the heathens. Pretty much anything you can think of.

Yes, I am settled deep inside me because of the fact that I know for sure that God is in control of my life and everything around me. I am secured there. I don't have a feeling that I am 'missing' something. The emptiness in my heart was mysteriously and wonderfully filled by Christ Jesus. I am not seeking anything 'more'.

But, at the same time, I am not in a state of spiritual 'nirvana' all the time. I am not even walking by faith 24/7. I have the regular problems of the regular people. Didn't Jesus say that "you will have trouble in this world"? Did Jesus offer a perfect life here on earth? I think not.

If I had my life to live over again...

2009-05-17T22:28:00.005-04:00

If I had my life to live over again, I'd try to make more
mistakes next time.

I would relax, I would limber up, I would be sillier than
I have been this trip.

I know of very few things I would take seriously.
I would take more trip. I would be crazier.

I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers, and
watch more sunsets.

I would do more walking and looking.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would have more actual troubles, and fewer imaginary
ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live life
prophylactically and sensibly hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again
I'd have more of them.

In fact, I'd try to have nothing else, just moments, one
after another, instead of living so many years
ahead each day.

I've been one of those people who
never go anywhere without a thermometer,
a hot-water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, aspirin, and a parachute.

If I had to do it over again I would go places, do things,
and travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over I would start barefooted
earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.

I would play hookey more.
I wouldn't make such good grades, except by accident.
I would ride on more merry-go-rounds.
I'd pick more daisies.

- written by a friar in a Nebraska monastery.

My 'Performance-Based Acceptance' Story

2009-05-12T14:05:00.010-04:00

I am sharing this story as part of the synchroblog idea Joel came up with. The biggest challenge for me to write this up here is about how to make it short. :)

I was born in a very orthodox Christian family, where my parents, grand parents and many generations practiced Eastern Orthodox religion (a branch of Greek Orthodox). Religion, church, and related rituals were all part of our life during childhood. Starting with my parents, continuing with my teachers at school and Sunday school, including the church clergies, pretty much all the people I ever came to know in my life, in one way or the other, knowingly or unknowingly have tried to put pressure on me to perform/behave in a certain way. In other words, no one wanted to accept me as who I was. Everyone expected something from me - from good grades in school to good behaviors at church.

All these, including many incidents through out my childhood, slowly started to inject a deadly poison into my brain - that my worth is directly depended on my performance.

Later on, in my late twenties, I was introduced to Pentecostalism, where I learned the idea of being born-again first time in my life. I saw it in the Bible that Jesus is the only means for Salvation (which the orthodox church never taught!). I got saved by believing in Jesus. It brought a lot of joy into my life.

But, sooner my focus started changing. I started falling into 'doing' stuff, thinking that is what God expected from me as a Christian. It all got powered up by the faulty concept many of us has learned during our life time - that our worth is directly depending on our performance.

The following few years, my life was a roller-coaster ride of performance, gaining Bible knowledge, religious show off, emotional experiences, faith formulas, prosperity gospel, prophecies, health and wealth, name it and claim it, end times and all that you can think of.

I started following the popular beliefs of 'churchianity'.

As a follower of churchianity, I have always thought I have to do 'big' things for God. I remember, few months after becoming a Christian I started participating in the evangelical programs of the church. I went to university campus to reach out to the students with the message of gospel. I visited homes telling them about Jesus. I distributed ‘free chilled water’ in summer for the commuters, handing over tracts along with water bottles. When some people hesitated to accept the tracts I thought that was ‘persecution’ and felt so proud that I am being persecuted for Christ! I acted in bible dramas to reach out to unbelievers. I felt so good because I was doing all the big things. Sometimes I forgot my small family back at home waiting for me. I walked with big bibles and expositories in my hand and engaged in big theological discussions. ‘End times’ was one of my favorites. People considered me as a person who is ‘fired up’ for Jesus. I liked the attention I started to get. I did more to bring more attention. I was busy and acted busy as well around others. I enjoyed the praises of elders and pastors. I appeared happy and busy for God on Sundays. After all these, on Monday when I wake up I was dry and miserable like hell. I was impatient towards my wife. I wondered what Jesus meant by the 'spring of water welling up in us'. I had no joy. I used to cry out to God while driving to office, to bring joy in my life. I negotiated with Him about the big things I am doing. I reminded Him the things I did and demanded 'joy'.

I was focused on doing big things while forgetting the small things - resting in Him, enjoying His life, abiding in Him just like a branch, allowing Him to live His life through me, learning to be contented in all the circumstances (As Paul said in Philippians 4:10-14).

He heard my prayer and I got His attention (or He got my attention?) in the year of 2006. He put me through a revolution, a grace revolution. His radical grace started changing my outlook on everything radically. He revealed the truth of His gospel and showed me the freedom He offered. He taught me to read the Bible for what it means, not just what it says. He changed my perception of Him that He isn't an angry God waiting up there to whack us when we misbehave, but a loving, compassionate God who operates from the paradigm of amazing GRACE. I started seeing myself as He sees me, as a new creation in Christ who is accepted into His family as His own precious child on the sole basis of what Jesus did, not what I do/did/will do.

I started unlearning religion. It still contines, even today...

Make no mistake, this isn't an easy journey. There are many lonely moments. There is opposition. This is not a popular belief. This isn't about following the majority. There is pressure from legalistic sources. There is confusion, doubts, questions, challenges and all that. But, regardless of any of it, I wouldn't trade this journey for anything. He has given me the confidence, that no matter how I mess up, I can still snuggle back into His lap and call Him "Abba, Father!". And there is nothing, nothing which can separate me from His love. NOTHING!

Break free from religious 'safety'...

2009-05-06T14:00:00.003-04:00

"A ship in port is safe. But that’s not what ships are built for." - Grace Murray Hopper

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

"MY NAME IS I AM."

2009-05-05T21:03:00.001-04:00

I was regretting the past
And fearing the future...
Suddenly my Lord was speaking:
"MY NAME IS I AM." He paused.
I waited. He continued,

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE PAST,
WITH ITS MISTAKES AND REGRETS,
IT IS HARD, I AM NOT THERE.
MY NAME IS NOT I WAS.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE FUTURE,
WITH ITS PROBLEMS AND FEARS,
IT IS HARD. I AM NOT THERE.
MY NAME IS NOT I WILL BE.

"WHEN YOU LIVE IN THIS MOMENT,
IT IS NOT HARD.
I AM HERE.
MY NAME IS I AM."

- Helen Mallicoat