Hot Diggity!

Scott, Kimmi, and Sarina

2008-06-21T00:38:00.005-04:00

A few months ago, my former editor at Nomad (hi, Lauri!) recommended me for a job writing a book proposal for Scott Rigsby, the first double-amputee to complete an Ironman. He was featured on NBC's 2007 Ironman special-- a great show, which you should definitely watch if it reruns again. I'm no sports person, but this was a human interest piece to the extreme. Great stories.

So that's what I've been doing these past few months: working with Scott to get this book proposal ready. Slowly. (Yeah, this balancing-motherhood-with-writing stuff is still a huge challenge to me.) How lucky am I to have found a person who doesn't mind being interviewed at midnight?

The proposal is just about done, and I can't wait to see where this book lands. A few publishers are already interested, just based on the pitch, but I suspect a lot more will be excited about it once they read this proposal. It's the longest one I've ever written... closing in on 60 pages. I thought it was important to write three full sample chapters on this one, which I've never done before. I wanted to give a sense of the highs and lows of the story, which is hard to do in just short snippets.

Anyway. The reason I'm mentioning him now is that he's a top-10 finalist in the Energizer "Keep Going" Hall of Fame, which will be decided by online votes. It would be a great accomplishment for him to win it, so I'm asking you to click on over and vote for him if his story inspires you. You don't need to register, and you can vote once a day. Right here.

You can also learn more about Scott at www.scottrigsby.com. He's a very cool guy.

Also want to give a shout-out to my friend Kimmi, who just SOLD HER AWESOME MEMOIR, currently titled The Unbreakable Child. 'Bout time.

Oh.

And some more Sarina pics. ;)

She's more and more affectionate these days. She's very into the "leg hug," and squeezing really hard around the neck.

New-ish feats: she signs to me to let me know when her diaper is dirty, she's starting to dance, she's attempting to feed and offer drinks to her stuffed animals, she blows kisses to strangers, she removes her high chair tray and says, "Done!" as it falls to the ground (naughty, naughty), she knows how to use keys, she sticks things into the VCR (already?! Sheesh. This thing is going to be filled with crayons within days, I know it), and she writes with a pen.

Also, she's reading. I know, now I just sound like a show-off, but I kid you not. Without my coaxing, she started pointing to words and reading or signing them. I've heard her do "all gone," "milk," "done," and a few others. She also recognizes some letters-- the ones that show on her alphabet mat that I mentioned several posts ago. There are toys on top of the mat, so only certain letters are showing on the floor. When I ask her to find the letter R, or Y, or O, she goes right over and points to it.

And that's all the news that's fit to print today.

No, Seriously, You Look Like Poop

2008-05-31T02:09:00.004-04:00

Little in life is more disheartening than this conversation I had yesterday with an acquaintance I see every few weeks:

Her: You don't look good.

Me: That's because I'm not wearing makeup.

Her: No, really. Your eyes are very puffy.

Me: No, that's how I always look. You just normally see me with makeup.

Her: You look like you've been crying.

Me: I haven't. I promise.

Her: You really don't look good.

*Sigh.* Thanks, lady. Could you perhaps point me to the nearest bridge that I could hurl myself off?

My eyes aren't aging well. The rest of me is fine, but I've always, always had a problem with big bags under my eyes, and they're only getting worse with time. I've tried dozens of products, but no success so far. I'm actually contemplating plastic surgery eventually, because it's just hard to feel good about yourself when people actually insist on a regular basis that you must not be sleeping. (I am.)

Of course, I've tried the cucumber slices, tea bags, frozen spoons, and yes, Preparation-H, but no luck.

I hereby offer a challenge to any company that makes products for undereye circles or puffiness under the eyes: if you want to send me your product for review, and it works, I'll blog the heck out of it. I'll blog it till the cows come home. Till the river meets the sea, till lovers cease to dream.

Meanwhile, more sweet Sarina pics...

I got a kiss!

2008-04-29T23:03:00.004-04:00

Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

Do you understand how long I've been trying to coax a kiss out of this girl? Tonight, as usual, I asked, "Sarina, can I have a kiss on the cheek?" And this time, she did it. Twice.

Bartender! Smoothies for everyone, on me!

FREE! I mean it. The Street-Smart Writer.

2008-04-29T01:57:00.003-04:00

The Street-Smart Writer: Self-Defense Against Sharks and Scams in the Writing World is one of the more important books I've written (co-written, actually, with publishing attorney Daniel Steven).

My publisher has kindly released an ebook version totally FREE, no strings attached, through Wowio.com. They add in a sponsor's ad in the front and back, but aside from that, it's exactly the same as the print book (which costs $16.95).

Here's the link: http://www.wowio.com/users/product.asp?BookId=2646

You have to register with Wowio, but I did that a few weeks ago to make sure they wouldn't spam or do any funny business... they didn't. So NO EXCUSES! It's free, and you don't even have to leave the comfort of your computer. Please, read this book, blog about it, send the link on to all the new and new-ish writers you know, and let's help save people from becoming easy prey for scammers and schemers in the publishing world. Thanks!

Here's the book's description:

Veteran writer Jenna Glatzer teams up with publishing attorney Daniel Steven to expose the scams and unsavory deals writers are likely to encounter along their path to publishing success. The Street-Smart Writer is an essential reference for all writers to getting published without getting swindled.

This book will help writers spot an honest agent or manager, determine the value of vanity publishing, and avoid getting conned out of hundreds, or even thousands, of dollars when signing a contract. Sections on writing contests teach writers how to determine which contests are useless; other sections offer tips on avoiding costly conferences and shady seminars. A special focus on copyright ensures that writers protect their work from schemers who want to use creativity without paying for it. Appendices include sample publishing, agent, and manager contracts.

Motherhood Photo

2008-04-28T22:58:00.004-04:00

5 Minutes for Mom is having a photo contest, and the challenge is to find a photo that exemplifies what motherhood means to you. This one is mine.

Three generations. One little girl who makes my world turn. I finally "get it," what life is all about.

Boop.

She sings!

2008-04-28T02:41:00.002-04:00

Sarina is attempting her first song. And it's Old MacDonald. A week ago or so, she started saying "E-I," which I knew was the beginning of "E-I-E-I-O." Tonight, she attempted to sing it. "E-I-YIIII... E-I-YIIII..." Four times, and she smiled, pleased with her attempt.

These are the times I feel like one giant feeling. Like I'm just a big fuzzy ball of love and pride and more love. This is my daughter. My daughter sits in my lap and wants to read books and sing. She's a real little person, figuring out her likes and dislikes, letting me come along for the ride. Even when nothing else is going right, I still get to be Sarina's mother, and that's enough.

Happy birthday, Connor!

2008-04-28T01:11:00.003-04:00

Connor is turning one, and his mom, Angela, feels just the same way about it as I did about Sarina turning one... happy and sad at the same time. Lucky and blessed and wishing time would slow down.

Do you know what we did tonight for half an hour? Flopped around on the bed. She got a huge kick out of "falling" on the bed and realizing she wasn't going to get hurt, so she started flopping herself all around on the pillows, cracking up the whole time. So I joined her. And remembered something-- hey, it's fun to bounce around on a bed. Thank God for this silly little person who reminds me how to smile.

My kissyface

2008-04-25T01:28:00.004-04:00

She now pulls out the book she wants me to read, hands it to me, then sits on my lap. Then, as I turn pages, she kisses the characters she likes. Sometimes I feel like my heart will burst.

Normally, she doesn't kiss actual people yet-- though I did trick her into kissing my hand and she spontaneously kissed my arm one morning-- but she kisses pictures and clothing pretty often. Her favorite book remains Don't Be So Nosy, Posy, and she loves kissing the pig and cow in that book.

She says about 30 words now; Elmo, purple, cookie, and neigh are some of the more recent ones. And she's making up some of her own sign language. One is driving me bats: she'll sign "eat," and I'll ask, "Are you hungry?" Then she'll do this very weird sign she made up-- she clasps the fingers on her right hand together and turns her hand upside down and sticks it over one eye. What in Zeus's name is that supposed to mean? I can narrow it down-- it's not cereal, milk, cheese, or cookie (she knows the signs or words for those). So I'm guessing it's one of her other favorite foods or drink: yogurt, crackers, bread, juice, or Peach Puffs. But she hasn't told me yet.

A new pic that I'm in love with. Warm weather means outdoors photos. Yay!

Between this photo and the one below it, which is your favorite?

A pic at the park

2008-04-20T01:38:00.002-04:00

Good news for Marilyn

2008-04-13T00:13:00.003-04:00

I'm very happy to say that my next book, The Marilyn Monroe Treasures (coming in October from Metro Books), is a Book of the Month Club pick, and the Spanish and Italian rights have been sold. It looks like other foreign editions will follow soon. I've seen the galleys and they look terrific.

I've had just one other foreign edition before, so this is exciting to me.

I'm still having a heckuva time trying to figure out how to balance motherhood and writing, though. I need to sell something huge so I can take a break until Sarina's in elementary school! Got any bestselling book ideas that you don't plan to use lying around?

Oh, the Fabulousness of it All!

2008-03-21T02:42:00.004-04:00

Lookit! Lookit who's a "Best Eyes" finalist!

http://poshietots.blogspot.com/2008/03/help-us-choose-our-fabulous-baby.html

She does have fabulous lashes, I must say.

I'd sure love it if you'd go over there and vote for Sarina. Winner gets a $50 gift certificate to their shop and a blanket.

Happy birthday, my lovebug

2008-03-02T19:25:00.011-05:00

This is a picture that, to me, sums up my daughter pretty well:

That's from a couple of days ago. She has a cough, cold, double ear infection, and sore throat. You can see that one eye is more closed than the other. And still, she is so grinny and so full of love.

This is today:

For her one-year birthday, she decided to just talk up a storm. I'm sure I'm leaving some out, but here are the words she now says, in approximate order of when she said them:

mama, baba, cat, dada, ball, girl, "bo" (almost boy), uh-oh, coat, good girl, boom (or bummmm!), moon, comb, car. She learned "comb" and "car" today.

I should add, though, that she still doesn't know who "mama" is. I thought she did, but alas, then she pointed to the photo of a black 4-year-old girl and said "Mama!" Hoping it was a brief case of amnesia, I forgave her. Next she pointed to a little blond boy and declared "Mama," too. Then a turtle. I give up.

She is walking all the way across the room, turning, and coming back. Today, she's doing it sort of sideways and drunkenly because she's on so many medications.

I'm trying hard not to think about the idea that she's officially no longer a baby now. I think I reject that notion. She's still my baby! But she certainly is "toddling."

I have never been more certain of anything in my life than that this little girl was meant to be mine. She is so much more than I hoped for. I wish I had something poetic and profound to say, but I feel like I've been at a loss for appropriate words since the day she was born. She turned me into a hack writer. Everything I want to say about her sounds like melodrama, or cliche. But all those greeting card sentiments are true... she does give my life meaning. She is everything to me. I am so lucky to be her mom.

Sarina, my sweet, if you ever read this blog, know that you brought your mommy, and so many other people, so much joy this year. I hope I can do the same for you. 'Cause you're stuck with me, kid. ;)

We are Communicating

2008-02-25T01:25:00.009-05:00

Whoever invented baby sign language gets an A+ in my book. Sarina now tells me when she's tired or hungry. She does the sign for "sleep," and if I don't pay attention fast enough, she grabs my hand and does the sign for sleep with my hand, too. And she does the "eating" sign roughly every 3 minutes... 'cause the girl likes her snacks!

She's a sign language whiz, I tell you. She knows: more, cereal, moon, stars, eating, hat, love, sleep, bib...

Her first birthday is so close now (March 2). I can't believe her baby year is almost over already. I'm not going to have a baby anymore... I'm going to have a toddler! I'm not ready for that!

But anyway... have some new pics. I hope they make you smile.

Thanks to Amanda and and Lisa McGrath for the great lounge set! Amanda made the pants and Lisa made the shirt.

I Probably Got Whistled At

2008-02-03T18:10:00.000-05:00

As I passed him, a man working at a booth in the mall whistled. At me. Probably at me. I mean, I'm almost certain.

I was wearing my winter coat and pushing a stroller containing my exquisitely wonderful 11-month old, which made it more exciting to get whistled at. It's funny how, when you're under 30, you want to clobber the louts who wolf-whistle at you. When you're over 30, you think maybe you should give them $5 tips, those sweet gentlemen!

So I walked away thinking, "Go, me. That classy mall worker thinks I'm a hot mama. It must be so! This bulky coat can't contain my explosive inner hottitude."

But then I second-guessed myself. Maybe there was a gorgeous little college woman walking next to me and I didn't notice her because I was too busy cultivating my inner hottitude. Maybe that was someone else's whistle that I was taking credit for.

And I briefly contemplated walking back to the mall worker and asking, "Excuse me, but was that me you were whistling at?" ("It was? Oh, thank you. Here's $5.")

But I still remember asking if there really was a Santa Claus and getting the honest answer, and two crushing disappointments in one lifetime might have been too much to bear, so I just pushed that stroller right outside. My self-esteem has been in limbo ever since.

Pardon me. I need to go find a construction site.

Congrats, Jennifer!

2008-02-01T20:38:00.000-05:00

Congrats to Jennifer at The Word Cellar, who won herself a copy of The Street-Smart Writer. If you haven't already, go read the comments on my giveaway post-- they're great.

She Touched a Boy on His Butt

2008-02-01T15:08:00.000-05:00

Sarina has really never been around babies or kids. There just aren't any in my family (I'm the oldest among all the siblings and cousins, and the first to have a baby). So I brought her to Gymboree last week, in part to see how she'd react.

There was only one other baby there (9 months old and petite, whereas Sarina is a giant, so they didn't look close in age). So the sweetest thing was that Sarina kept crawling her way over to the baby, trying to play. She tried to pass a ball to her, but I don't think the other baby was interested. Still, Sarina waved to her at the end of class. I nearly cried from adorable overload.

I brought her back this week, and there were bunches of babies! And what she wanted to do was touch the babies. She would crawl over to a little one, then touch a leg or arm or whatever. She often tried handing them her toys-- she's REALLY into sharing. No one took her up on her offers, though.

One baby boy was standing, and she used his leg to help her get into a kneeling position, then she touched his butt. Good thing his mom has a sense of humor. I apologized for the odd fondling, but really, I was elated-- I love that she's trying to make little friends. I didn't know what to expect, because I've read that babies normally aren't social creatures until around 18 months, but I've seen how she reacts to pictures of babies in magazines, and I suspected she might want to meet some in real life.

She's also picked up a fun new habit: dancing or conducting whenever she hears music. When the radio is on, she raises her hands like she's conducting an orchestra. When I sing, she just sort of bounces up and down like so:

P.S. Why, yes, those are more clippies from our friend Tabitha at Bow Baby Bow.

Bloggy Giveaway: Bullyproof Your Child For Life

2008-01-29T12:38:00.000-05:00

Hi, Bloggy Giveaways people! I've vaccuumed and set up a couple of gallons of coffee and tea and baked up some pigs in blankets in anticipation of your arrival. Oh, and some potato puffs and a veggie platter for the vegetarians among us.

This is my first bloggy giveaway. Yay, me!

I'm giving away one of my books-- your choice between Bullyproof Your Child for Life and The Street-Smart Writer.

Bullyproof Your Child for Life is a book I co-wrote with Dr. Joel Haber ("The Bully Coach"). It teaches strategies for warding off current bullies and making your kids less attractive to bullies in the future. It covers a variety of situations: school, camp, sports, and online, with a special section for kids with special needs. Read more here.

The Street-Smart Writer is a book I co-wrote with publishing attorney Daniel Steven about avoiding scams and seedy characters in the writing and publishing world, so you can publish your work without worrying about getting ripped off or taken for a ride. Read more here.

The winner chooses which one she or he wants, and I'll gladly autograph it. U.S. mailing addresses only.

To enter, you must entertain me. Tell me one little funny story about your family. If you can't think of funny, I'm all for touching stories, too. I'll pick one winner at random on Feb. 1st and e-mail that person (so make sure you have an e-mail address in your profile, or leave an e-mail address in the comment).

Thanks for visiting me! Hope you'll come back again sometime. I'll woo you with pictures of my sweet, sweet baby...

And this one is my entry for the silly pic for ...and the rest is history.

There's more where that came from! See you soon.

Sometimes I am Stunningly Stupid

2008-01-27T00:15:00.000-05:00

So, I went to a thrift store yesterday and bought a couple of outfits for Sarina and some foam alphabet tiles-- the kind you put on the floor. I was very excited about this purchase: costs $25 new, but I got it for just $3! Yay, me!, I'm thinking. Sure, they were a bit dirty, but nothing a sponge and soap won't fix.

An hour and 11 minutes into the scrubbing, I thought perhaps there might have been a better use of my time.

That's when I began calculating. The gas money it took to drive BACK to the thrift store today when I realized I left these fabulous alphabet tiles on their counter. The sponge I used up while washing my brains out. The soap. The hot water for an hour and 17 minutes (which eventually went cold and turned my pruny hands to ice). The fact that I could have written something during that hour and 17 minutes that would have earned more than the $22 difference in prices. The fact that there are still pen marks I couldn't remove.

And then. Then, there was this.

This is one of those "Find 3 things wrong with this picture" games. Can you find the three things that are missing from this picture?

Yes, that's right. Three LETTERS are missing from this alphabet! A, L, and M, if you must know.

I need a cookie.

She knows her parts!

2008-01-20T17:18:00.000-05:00

I think Sarina's been holding out on me.

There's this book, Your Baby Can Read! My First Words, a "slide & learn" book-- you slide the windows to see pictures of the words. Anyway, she's really into that book. She slides the windows across herself, and lately, she's been acting out the actions in the photos. For example, the word "hi," or "clapping," or "book." She waves at the girl who says hi, she claps along with the babies, and she does the sign for "book" when she sees the picture of the girl reading. It's been amazing, and again, all at once. She reacts to about 8 of the 30 photos so far.

So, we were looking through at some of the words she hadn't yet reacted to (like "eyes" and "ears"), and I said, "Where are Sarina's eyes?"

And she pointed to them. I almost fell over.

"Where are Sarina's ears?"

Duh, right here, Mommy.

Head? Check. Mouth? Got it.

She didn't react to "nose" right away, but then I asked where Mommy's nose was, and she pointed right to it.

You know what this means?

SHE KNOWS WHO MOMMY IS!

(Yes, leave it to me to find the selfish interpretation of this amazing event. But I was never sure if she knew "Mommy" was me before!)

This girl totally knows stuff. Stuff I had no idea she had already learned.

Also, she has two more bottom teeth, for a grand total of eight so far.

And I love her even more than ever.

P.S. For those in Canada, I've done two tapings for Celine Dion specials lately: one for the Star! network, and one for E! True Hollywood Stories. I think they're both to air in the spring or summer, but I'll give details when I find out. The E! one may also air in the U.S. and other countries later.

An End of a Superpower

2008-01-11T02:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I've pumped my last pump.

It took me three sessions just to get one bottle (and not even a full bottle, at that... five ounces), so I had some time to think about how I wanted that last bottle to go.

That's right-- we had "dinner by candlelight." Lullabies in the background, snuggled up on the glider. It was a fitting ending.

I had a very big sense of pride that I was able to provide for her for this long, and the truth is that I feel a strange sort of loss that it's over. I sure won't miss the pump, but there's been a loving feeling that goes along with feedings-- "Hey, I made that for you. Hope you like it!" My original goal was to make it to 6 months; my later goal was to make it to 12. I made it to 10 and a week.

Holy Potatoes, I Suck!

2008-01-11T00:36:00.000-05:00

I bit her! By accident!

See, remember a few posts ago, I told you she loves to share stuff now? Well, she reached out to offer me a bite of her delectable wheat teething biscuit. What I failed to detect was that, apparently, moments before my mouth made it over to accept said biscuit, she dropped it. So instead of sinking my teeth into a biscuit, I bit her fingers.

And what's worse is that I didn't realize it right away.

I bit harder because-- "darn, this biscuit is hard to bite through." And that's when she looked at me like, WHY, MOMMY, WHY? And cried. And I realized I had just nearly taken a chunk out of my wonderful child's tiny fingers. I bit the hand that fed me.

She forgave me quickly and even offered me another bite, but I can't help but think she's going to have a messed up psyche now, thinking that people who love you might turn on you at any second and attempt to bite your fingers off. I fear she will join a baby gang and get caught stealing Peach Puffs.

Make me feel better. Tell me about a "stupid parent" thing you've done.

Baby Loves Books

2008-01-08T16:32:00.001-05:00

I forgot to mention this yesterday: I'm quite pleased to announce that Sarina is in love with board books. Whereas earlier, she mostly just tried to eat them (I even had a much-repeated motto for her: "Books are for reading, not for eating!"), now she flips the pages, looks at the pictures, touches the touchy spots, and listens while I read. It's the coolest.

Every day, several times a day, she goes over to her bookshelf and takes all the books down (yes, cleaning up after her is a bit tiresome). She finds one or two to focus on, then we read them. Her favorites are Don't Be So Nosy, Posy and Rainbow Rob. I'm glad, because honestly, I don't "get" some of the more popular ones-- like I Love You, Little One: "I love you as the river loves you," it says, and I want to scream, "No! The river is an inanimate object! It has no capacity for love. I love you waaay more than the river loves you!" And each "I love you as the ___ loves you" is so repetitive in meaning: giving you food, giving you shelter, giving you water. No, these are not the proofs of love. Giving an infant food and shelter is just a responsibility. It's the time you spend building towers so she can knock them down that shows you love her. No river is gonna do that!

*Cough.* Sorry.

Steps Away from the Finish Line

2008-01-08T02:09:00.001-05:00

and I'm stalled again. Here I am, over word count, at the end of the Marilyn Monroe book, and I've been stuck for two days trying to think of an ending. I've already written about her death. Now how to close it? Everything I can think of seems too obvious and anticlimactic. "Lookit, all these years later, she's still such a legend... her legacy lives on... blah blah."

Other biographers have wound it up with a really good quote or anecdote, which is what I'd like to do, but I don't have one that seems fitting as an ending.

She's been in my dreams nearly every night. It's interesting... I don't remember ever dreaming so much about a book subject before. I think it's because I keep going to bed with my own little conversation with her in my head-- I ask her how she'd want me to write this book, what the truth is, how she'd want to be remembered. I guess it's sort of a prayer.

Anyway.

Here is the shot I caught of Sarina walking yesterday:

And a pic of her after I blow-dried her hair... I didn't mean for it to be so bouffant, but it's also kind of neat that it's now long enough to be so bouffant!

It's actually turning curly, but I keep brushing it straighter because the curls stick up funny at this length, especially after naps!

That's Teething Bling she's chewing on... she's mighty fond of it.

To Sleep, Perchance to Sink into Squishiness

2008-01-06T03:47:00.001-05:00

There are certain things in life that, once you've had the "good stuff," you can't go back to the regular stuff. I have just discovered that this is true of smooshy mattresses. Toward the end of my pregnancy, when I couldn't get comfortable, my mom gave me one of those squishy memory foam mattress toppers. The other day, I pulled it off the bed with the intention of cleaning it (before I was stymied by the actual process-- how exactly do you wash queen-sized memory foam? With soap and a hose in the backyard in the summer, maybe, but in the winter? I'm stumped). Anyway, it's still off the bed, and I'm miserable. How did I not know that I was sleeping on a pile of bricks before? For roughly 7 years?

Oh, and I did finally buy Sarina that tutu, after all. It arrived on Christmas Eve! I even wrote to the post office to thank them for such amazing delivery-- it arrived overnight, even though it was sent Priority Mail. I had no hope of receiving it before Christmas.

She took about six steps today, twice. It was so exciting! She doesn't walk-- she runs. She stood there looking like she was getting herself all pumped up for something, then... runrunrunrun, kerplop!

New Sarina pics

2007-12-23T01:39:00.001-05:00

Mmm! This is the best teething biscuit I've ever had.

I got my hair bow from Mama's Girls Bows over here.

I got my flower clip from Bow Baby Bow over here.

Today, Santa Claus was in my very own house. I wasn't quite sure what to make of him, but he turned out to be pretty cool. He gave me peach puffs.

I love standing. I thought sitting was cool, but man, standing is so awesome. You should try it.