Adoro te Devote

Pondering the Wound of Charity

2009-11-24T21:04:00.005-06:00

For a couple weeks now I've been thinking about love, and by that term, I mean Charity. This comes partially from my Moral Theology class regarding the Theological Virtue of Charity, and partially from my own musings over time on the Passion of Our Lord.

It should go without saying that when I look upon the Crucifix, I see love in its most pure form. There, in that moment, is contained....EVERYTHING. Even I, in my utter insignificance and desolation am caught up and drawn in to those Holy Wounds, becoming even less so that He can be revealed as more.

While attending a talk, some of the words of the priest who was speaking struck me and caused my "contemplative" side to make a connection. Nothing new or interesting, but only one of those little arrows from God that we all experience from time to time, when a teaching is suddenly internalized.

REAL Charity Wounds

I considered how real Charity creates a wound, a blessed wound that continually bleeds in such a way that it can't be staunched. This is not a "mushy" love, but rather, a type of pain not held inward, but expressed outwardly, like the very gush of arterial blood. It can't be contained. Yet the more it gushes, instead of causing mortal death, it rather is the very expression of the font of life.

Every so often I feel that blessed wound, and know that it has changed me. At times the bleeding is only a trickle. At times I staunch the wound myself with my sin, cutting myself off, refusing to serve the Lord. I let the blood flow clot, I wrap it up and I turn away.

It is only through the Sacrament of Confession that I bring that bandage in to be removed, for through God's grace, He reminds me of His own deep love for me, prompting me to realize that I cannot stop this flow and SHOULD not, for by bleeding, my own blood is united with that of Jesus.

I go to Confession and reveal this encrusted, infected bandage, this terrible blockage, this monstrous clot to the priest, who removes it gently and tells me how to let this blood of Charity flow more perfectly, how to, through this wonderful wound, unite myself to the eternal Word who waits only for me to stop placing obstacles in His way.

For when my blood, in this sense, flows, it is truly His, not mine. This wound that in life would be mortal death, in the Spirit, belongs to the mystical nature of our supernatural relationship with our Beloved Savior.

As He suffered and died, so are we all called to do, according to His Most Holy and Divine Will. Not on the natural plane, but the supernatural.

Purity of Love

I have been pondering my own dedication to Jesus, the purity of my love for Him. I have such a devotion to His Passion, and prefer to look upon the bloodiest of crucifixes to remind myself of the blood He shed...for me. I have a hard time accepting that very personal sacrifice, that it was done for ME.

In all honesty, I have a hard time considering that ANYONE would die for me, for I don't think I am worth such a sacrifice. I get caught up in looking at my nothingness, my sins of omission, my lack of importance in the world. Why would ANYONE think my life would be worth THAT sacrifice??? What a waste!

I find it hard to believe anyone would find ME worth dying for. If they were pondering it, I'd stop them and put my own head into the noose, or point the deadly scimitar to my own heart.

In my Pride, I wouldn't let anyone die for me so personally, for if I ever met someone so magnanimous, I would want them to live for they could contribute so much more to the world than me. Someone so brave is worth far more than me. It is I who should go...not them. In fact, I've experienced this, in part...a story for another post.

In any case, I didn't have a choice in the Sacrifice of Christ, did I? So I realize in that thought process that I think as Man thinks, not as God thinks. The God who called me out of eternity, through love and into being, continues to hold me in existence, and in fact, DIED for me on the Cross! In spite of who I am and who I am not.

The more I ponder the Cross, the more I love God, the more I understand the necessity of sacrifice, the more I expect the "curse" of suffering. For in order to be conformed to Christ, we have to suffer and become the Accursed ourselves.

Why Do I Love?

My own Love, my own Charity is imperfect.

The other night, while praying Compline before bed, I gazed upon the Crucifix and upon my picture of Jesus in His Agony. His love for US isn't in question. His very personal love for ME isn't put to the test; it has been clearly defined.

Rather, I considered the hierarchical nature of creation, of the Church, of love itself, and how God's own love begets love. We return to Him what He gives us, and the more we return, the more we grow. The more we allow to flow through us, the more we are given. The font of charity never decreases, but only becomes greater, even if it were to flood the world, it would not be enough.

I looked upon Our Lord and wondered: Do I love Him ONLY because of what He did for me? Is my love for Jesus dependent upon His Sacrifice on my behalf? If so, then it means I only love Him for what He has done for me. It means that my litmus test for God is, "What have you done for me lately"?

Do I love Jesus ONLY for what He did for my Benefit?

Can that be accurate? If so....how SELFISH!

I had to seriously consider that. Am I in love with Jesus just because He is the ONLY one who would ever die for me?

If so...my love is conditional. My love is based ONLY upon something that He DID...not who He IS.

That ISN'T love. Love isn't selfish.

I had to ask myself: if Jesus had NOT died upon the Cross for me, would I still love God? Or would I be selfishly looking for benefits of knowing Him?

Where is my focus? Am I just "receiving" or am I willing to GIVE?

Am I bleeding freely in union with Christ...or am I placing a barrier between my own personal sacrifice and anyone who might benefit from my immolation?

When I look back at the Prophets, at the great Women of Israel; they operated on Faith. They loved God not for what He DID for them, but for Who He IS. Even the Prophets, BEFORE they knew God, loved Him. Before they were privy to the Divine Processions...loved God in a particular purity of heart and intention. They knew the Mystery and loved because they recognized God was worthy of their Love...even before the Sacrifice.

The recognized God, they loved Him, and they poured their ENTIRE BEING out for Him on behalf of their people. It was THEIR sacrifice that preceeded HIS. It was THEIR Sacrifice that was proleptic of HIS and in fact, it was HIS Sacrifice that made theirs both meaningful and possible.

It was their FAITH expressed through WORKS that called down God's Justice. They raised their souls to Him and let their blood flow in a fountain we recognize even today. They sacrificed themselves in divine Charity, Hoping in what they could not see, having Faith in what they did not experience.

That wound of charity, that wound that comes only through the love of Christ Himself, binds mystically as it flows.

It is no wonder this doesn't make sense to the natural world, for it seems oppositional. Yet it is, as we read in the Gospels, that we lose what we try to gain and gain what we are willing to lose.

I realize that I do not love Jesus as I ought. I recognize that my love for Him is conditional, for my blood does not flow freely. I keep bandages on hand so I can stop the arterial rush when it becomes too much for me. I reserve that flow for my own desires, rather than trusting in God. In my imperfection, as that blood overflows, I don't recognize it as grace, but as my life leaving my control and so I grasp even at impure wrappings to slow it all down.

I do not love God as I ought. I have been deeply wounded by the Charity of Our Lord, but instead of letting the blood flow from me as it did from His wounds and His side, I bind it up in fear and trepidation.

Oh, that Jesus would rip those bandages away and force me to hold my hands outward so that His love could overflow!

Why, oh WHY can I not TRUST in His Divine Salvation?

Why, oh Why do I try to staunch the wound given to me through His Love?

Why, oh Why, can I not love as I ought, and why do I attach conditions upon what I am willing to give in spite of what has been so freely given?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!

A Tale of Two Guppies

2009-11-23T21:10:00.003-06:00

When I was a child, we had a fish bowl without fish. We had everything needed for them: little blue and grey stones covering the bottom, a little castle tower and some plastic "weeds". I constantly begged Mom to let us get a goldfish for the little bowl.

In school, we learned about guppies, and studied them in a fun class. Our classroom even had guppies and we got to name them, and the teacher told us where we could get them for ourselves if Mom and Dad said we could! They didn't seem too expensive, so I asked Mom if we could get a couple guppies. I promised I'd take care of them!

Mom replied that I didn't do my part to feed the dog each night, or check on her water, so how did she know I'd be faithful to the fish? I PROMISED I would be faithful and give them their food and water, and pleaded that it would be "a GREAT learning experience!" Finally she relented, we went to the pet store, and upon seeing the small cost of the little fish, she let me pick out two to take home.

I still remember carefully carrying them home in their little plastic bag. I didn't understand how they could just swim in there and not die. After all, WE couldn't breathe in plastic, and if we caught bugs, we were supposed to poke holes in it for air! Mom had to stop me from opening the top to "let more air into the water."

Swish and Stripe

The fish bowl was waiting for our new pets when we arrived home, and so I carefully poured my new little friends into their new home. They swam around, inspecting their bowl, so I went about my day, satisfied, but often returning to visit them.

I decided to name them "Swish" and "Stripe", for I loved their features and thought the best names were truthful ones that said something about them.

True to my promise to Mom, I was Johnny On The Spot with the food for the little fishies. I realized that they must be hungry after their long journey to our home, and so I made sure to feed them in the proper quantity: about the amount I would give the dog. The little flakes of what I imagined must be "manna" floated on the surface, and I was gratified to see that Swish and Stripe darted for it, biting off little chunks.

But they left most of their dinner uneaten. I thought that maybe they weren't so hungry because, well, maybe they were scared. So I stayed and talked to them and pushed the food towards them. They seems uninterested. Well, I didn't like it when Mom made me eat, either, so I left them alone. It was there if they wanted it.

Over the next few days I was quite careful to make sure they had the proper food at the proper time. And of course, since they never finished a meal, I figured that perhaps I was insulting them by not feeding them ENOUGH so I went back and gave them seconds. I didn't like soggy bread, either. The fresh stuff was the best.

But still, they didn't eat their dinner. I was getting very very worried. I must not be a good Mom.

Then one day I saw that they weren't moving so freely, didn't seem so interested in anything. Swish was starting to float a little. I poked him and he wagged his fins and swam away. I thought maybe they needed more food to keep up their energy, so I gave them some more.

All day long, their condition was of concern to me. Both were listless, partially floating, partially swimming. Their water was cloudy, and so I thought maybe if I cleaned the bowl, they'd feel better. It would be like getting fresh air.

Cleaning the Bowl

So very very carefully I picked up the bowl and took it into the kitchen. I ran the water, testing it to be sure it was cold (because it was always COLD water that revived people, it was logical to think it was the same for fish!).

I put the plug in the drain and slowly poured the water into it. The fish were caught against the trap as the rest of the bowl water poured over them, even as the cold, rushing water from the faucet infused it. The fish both wagged their fins, so I thought they were enjoying their bath. I made sure they were nice and clean before I took the water away in order to refill the bowl.

While it filled, I apologized to Swish and Stripe, and explained that they'd be back in their clean house in a minute, and I knew they needed water and felt bad about taking it away for a second.

As soon as there was enough in the bowl I put the fish in by dumping the trap into it, and then I ran the water into the bowl some more.

But Swish and Stripe didn't seem interested in swimming and exploring. I thought they were bored, so I set the castle up again, and the little seaweed. But still...nothing. One floated. The other, barely wagged his fin.

So I decided they must be hungry and gave them their dinner early. Then I left them alone; maybe they were just napping.

Later that day, I discovered both floating, and neither moved when I tried to encourage them to swim. I went and got Mom, saying the fish were sick. She told me she was sorry, but they died.

Sadly, I told her that I would bury them. They were mine, and I should take care of them, even that hard part.

So I found a napkin and laid it next to the bowl. With my own hand, I lifted them out, each in turn, said I was sorry but I would send them home to God, then placed them on the napkin. Together. I folded the top of the napkin over them, and then folded it again to make their shroud.

I went to my room to get my little shovel and my prized purple plastic flower. It was one of my favorite possessions and my little friends deserved to have it at their grave. I made a little cardboard "headstone" reading "RIP Swish and Stripe".

Before we went out, I remembered that when people die, there are prayers said, so I took a book from the shelf so that I could find a passage which I was hoping God would help me to miraculously read. (I couldn't read yet, but I knew my alphabet!)

The Funeral

Slowly, tenderly holding Swish and Stripe and all the implements of burial, I processed all alone out to the Maple Tree in the front yard...my favorite place. At just the right spot, where I knew I could look out and see and remember them, I began to dig.

When I thought the grave was deep enough, I carefully placed the little shroud containing Swish and Stripe into it and picked up the book. Turning to a page somewhere in the middle, I looked, hoping at some point the letters would make sense. I saw the word "The". So I began to "read" about how Swish and Stripe were good fish and that God must love them, too, but maybe more than I did. And so because God loved them, He wanted them to be with Him in Heaven but first we had to put them in the earth. I told God I was sorry I didn't feed them enough and that I hadn't done the right things to keep them alive and hoped that He could do a better job with them. And then when I couldn't think of any more, I closed the book and tossed it solemnly aside.

Slowly I shoveled the dirt over the napkin and packed it on top, then set the headstone and put the flowers on it. I said goodbye to Swish and Stripe, picked up the shovel and the book, and went inside.

I was very very sad. My friends had died, and I had a sneaking suspicion it was my fault, but I didn't know what I'd done wrong.

Sneaking Suspicion...

For a couple weeks, I went out to visit the grave and make sure the flowers were still there, and the headstone. The headstone was gone, maybe blown away, and the flowers moved, but I planted them deeply in the dirt to make sure they would stay. I knew the cardboard would be in terrible condition anyway so let it go. I knew where my fish were.

But as I dug the flowers into the grave, day after day, making sure they weren't lost, I began to wonder about the fish.

What happened to them after they died? Where did they go? Were their bodies still intact? What did they look like?

I tried not to think of these things. I knew it was "sacrilegious" to dig people up...did that apply to fish, too? Once in the ground, weren't they supposed to STAY there? But how could they be BOTH in the ground AND with God at the same time?

So finally, overcome by curiosity, I decided to check on them.

One afternoon I got my shovel and carefully removed the dirt. It was easy to pull the dirty napkin out of the grave, and as I did not intend offense, I "prayed" with my book before I dug them up.

When I lifted it, at first it seemed there was nothing there. Were they like JESUS??!!

Slowly I opened the top of the napkin. And stared. Fascinated.

All I saw was an outline of each fish, what remained of their scales. An outline on the bottom, a little on the "top". Swish and Stripe were GONE. I couldn't even see their tiny bones!.

Slowly I covered them up again and put them back into their grave. I paused as I re-buried them.

Looking up towards the sky I said, "Dear God, I hope YOU took Swish and Stripe, because if you didn't, that means the cat ate them!"

The Sacred Seal of Confession

2009-11-21T17:41:00.002-06:00

Fr. Z. has a post and commentary on a Zenit article about the Seal of the Confession on trial. What's so chilling about this is that one of the things we hold most sacred really IS being attacked, more and more, in our society.

In summary, the case in question is especially appalling, because it surrounds the violation of the Seal of Confession: The State recorded an inmate penitent's Sacramental Confession heard by Fr. Mockaitis. I remember reading about this some time ago, and recall that as soon as he learned of this, documents were filed to suppress the tape, and I believe suit was quickly filed to protect the Seal, demanding the destruction of that tape.

Ultimately the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that recording a Sacramental Confession WAS a violation of the First and Fourth Amendment, thus the recorded Sacramental Confession was illegal, and the tape was ordered to be destroyed. Now, ten years after the fact, the tape STILL exists.

Yeah. That's a problem. Are you angry yet? You SHOULD be, whether you are Catholic or not.

Many people don't understand the Sacrament of Confession and why we must go, the spiritual benefits, the graces, or the absolute necessity of it. They DO understand, however, the confidentiality of the practice, although maybe they don't realize that the Seal of Confession doesn't just extend to the Priest, but even further. ANYONE who overhears a confession must keep their trap shut..for life. The Seal applies to even the non-ordained. For example, if I was in line outside of the Confessional and a person with a little too much confidence in the sound-deadening properties of "the box" spoke so loudly that her confession could be clearly heard, well, anyone standing there is bound to the same Seal.

By the way, the example I gave...is true to life. Thankfully I didn't hear what the person said, but I'm quite certain everyone in the chapel thought I must really have a huge bullfrog in my throat giving the amount of time I spent clearing it and coughing a little just to ensure I COULDN'T hear what was being said, hopefully making sure no one else did, either. But if I HAD...let's just say if someone had asked me to repeat what I'd heard or die, well...I'd better be choosing death in that case.

The movie, "I Confess" by Alfred Hitchcock reveals very truthfully the importance of the Seal of Confession. In the movie, a murderer confesses his crime, and when the Priest himself is accused and goes on trial, he utters not a peep either to the man who was walking around free and often in his presence, and gives no indication to the authorities that he knows anything at all. He can't.

Throughout history, Priests have gone to their deaths rather than ever reveal what a penitent said to them in Confession.

Several years ago, when I was finding my way back into the Church, my biggest struggle being the Sacrament of Confession, this very topic happened to come up. My boyfriend at the time, a non-Catholic, non-religious person, said something to me about the government probably putting recording devices in Catholic Churches. He wasn't condoning the practice; in fact, he was only advancing a conspiracy theory that would not surprise him given how we were all watching our freedoms eroding away. I actually demanded that he shut up, in no uncertain terms. I didn't want to hear him even talk about it. I asked him if he realized how SACRED was the Confessional, how ABHORRENT it was to even THINK that this could be happening! I didn't know of Fr. Mockaitis's case.

As it was, at my boyfriend's very suggestion at this violation, I was so deeply offended, and even wounded, that, even to my surprise, I burst into tears. I had never before that point realized how FIRMLY I believed in the Seal, even as I questioned the Sacrament itself. I knew, without a doubt, that ANYTHING I told a Priest in Confession would go with him to the grave. Thus the very violation of that moment was, akin to me, Spiritual Rape.

This life or death bond of confidentiality transcends any mere law of man; it is the law of God, and it's one that is written upon our hearts, whether we are Catholic or not. Even non-Catholics understand very clearly the importance of the Seal, and what it means for ALL Faithful of any religion should the State interfere in this religious practice.

I shudder to think what would happen if the State had ruled other than it had. I shudder to think of how many people would refuse to go to Confession, to bring their sins to God and receive absolution...for fear of someone overhearing, intentionally, and using their most vulnerable moment against them.

For now, the Sacrament is safe, and we DO need to fight for our very lives here. Our lives, and more importantly....our souls.

You can read the article either at Fr. Z's blog (linked at the top of the post) or go straight to Zenit to read it without his commentary.

In any case, I encourage you to fully read the article, which is an interview with the priest in question, and he answers many common questions about the Seal, the court case, and why this is so important for us ALL.

Dangerous Cult Mentality

2009-11-20T19:01:00.008-06:00

I know a few people who have been involved in cults, usually religious ones, and they talk about how quickly one can get sucked into it.

Until the past few days, though, I really hadn't personally witnessed or experienced cult manipulation or recruitment techniques. Yet now that I have, I find that in good conscience, I must ask all my readers of good will and who aspire to holiness to heed the warning of Bishop Lennon who issued the Decree advising of the non-supernatural status of "Holy Love Ministries." Not just because the Bishop said so, but because I see very strong evidence that HLM, if it can't be considered to be a cult yet, is quickly headed in that direction. The warning signs are DEFINITELY present.

Based on information I obtained (and quoted in bold in several places below) from HowCultsWork.com, there are several warning signs that something might be a dangerous cult, a major one of which is the use of Mind Control, which may take several forms. I've chosen a couple that seem to apply to "Holy Love"

1. A normal religious organization would not have any trouble with you moving to another similar organization as long as you stayed in that same religion. Because it is the belief system that matters, not membership in an organization. For example if you were a Christian then you could move from one church to another and still be a Christian.

However cult leaders will tell you can only be "saved" (or can only be successful) in their organization alone. No other organization has the truth, all others miss the mark. So it is not the belief system that decides your future, but it the belief system AND your membership with that particular group.

I highlight this particular section because of the alleged "messages" saying that people MUST believe in the messages or they risk not being saved. Here is one example, among many:

November 10, 2009:
"While the flower of this Mission continues to open and to bloom, drawing thousands to its presence with the fragrance of its grace, there are still and always will be the detractors - the ones who deny the legitimacy of Heaven's Mission here. These are the ones who do not search out the truth but look for any reason to deny the truth itself."

"Heaven does not intercede here to compete with any existing authority, but to save souls - a goal which should be shared with one and all. Those who do not understand this must also not understand that in Heaven there are no labels as to beliefs or opinions. All of that is left behind. The only vestment that follows the soul into Heaven is the Holy Love he holds in his heart. It is man that opposes Holy Love out of error. It is God who calls you to peace through Holy Love."

There are some HUGE problems with this message. First the messenger clearly is using this to undermine legitimate criticism of the claims being made. It also undermines objective Truth, in the second paragraph, opening wide the gates to a warm and fuzzy relativism "believe what you want" as long as what people believe is the "Messages". They also clearly aren't speaking of the virtue of Charity, but of the MISSION of "Holy Love" the fraudulent institution. This theme is found THROUGHOUT these messages and it becomes more and more clear to anyone grounded in actual Truth.

So we see, there is ONE of the warning signs of mind control.

Another example of Mind Control is the use of Character Assasination, which can have different degrees:

2. Character Assassination is used to help create the guilt in you. Character Assassination is a type of false reasoning used by people and groups who have no real arguments. The technical name for Character Assassination is "The Ad hominem Fallacy".

This is what I experienced through some of the followers of the "Holy Love" Cult in Ohio, and the reason I had to go to comment moderation. The commenter commented several times, and along with other commenters from that place, kept telling me "Do not be afraid." They also suggested that I don't know my Faith, because if I did, therefore I must see that there is NOTHING wrong with the Messages at Holy Love. Ignoring, of course, the fact that I cited specific messages and pointed out the Doctrinal errors. He went on to berate me for refusing to publish one of his comments that included a link to a dissident site we both denounce. Because I didn't publish it, he insinuated, then I MUST be giving tacit approval for such a group. Bullying at its best.

Now, to be fair, this was very mild "Character Assasination" but it falls under that heading because they were clearly trying to INSPIRE fear in me that I was doing the wrong thing, they were trying to tempt me into DOUBT that the Bishop might be wrong, and therefore, in their lack of logic, if the Bishop is wrong then I am offending God.

In fact, one commenter stated very clearly that I had deleted Our Lady's words and that I will answer for that at my Judgment.

All I can say is: I certainly hope so! For all the times I have sinned, I will be glad to realize that for once, I actually did something RIGHT!

The basic premise of "Character Assasination" or maybe "Intellect Assasination" is to exert mind control over you, to make you doubt your own intellect, and through their circular logic, or if they resort to it, outright bullying (i.e. you're going to Hell because you deleted Our Lady's words), will, in a person of weak will cause them to give in. In someone with a stronger will but who must ford such tactics constantly, they may finally one day just say, "Oh, fine, if it'll shut you up, I'll go with you!"

Maybe some of you who know people involved with "Holy Love Ministries." Was THAT how they got involved? Did they have reservations but with people spouting propaganda, attacking their legitimate use of logic, attacking their character finally give in just to "shut them up" only to be taken in when surrounded by the crowd hysteria?

OTHER KEY WARNING SIGNS:

Intense Unrelenting Pressure

They call repeatedly. Meet you on campus or outside your work. Trick you into coming for only an hour and then lead you into a long study, meeting or talk. They have to keep the pressure on, otherwise you might snap out of the mind control environment they are trying to immerse you in

While as a blogger I'm a bit immune to such a technique with regard to the HLM fiasco, my guess is that those techniques are going on all over the place in the Cleveland Ohio area, or any area where the "Messenger" goes to speak and see her alleged visions. I will say though that these commenters who bombarded me repeatedly said that I should go there, wanted to press points, continued to quote messages at me, etc. VERY cultish behavior. It's why I refused to post the comments. Seriously, I took a nap today, came back to check email and had SEVERAL messages from the same person!

It's a big red flag that someone associated with that place would care so much that I don't believe in it and think it's bunk. So much so that he was sent to recruit me and turn me to their side. If they weren't a Cult, then they really wouldn't care. After all, if I sat here and wrote up a treatise of why I think the theology of the Baptist church down the road has faulty theology, I can guarantee you no one would care. They're probably just say, "Oh, well, she's Catholic, we don't expect her to agree."

But Holy Love Ministries clearly will tolerate NO DISSENT against their beliefs or messages or messenger. DANGER!

Now, here's a REALLY fun one, and I will end this treatise with a PERFECT example from "Holy Love" herself:

THEY TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE NOT A CULT

This is a preemptive strike against the warnings from friends and family members which they know will come. In fact some cults go as far to tell you that Satan will try and dissuade you by sending family members and friends to tell you it is a cult. When this tactic is used then often a warped form of logic occurs in the recruits' mind, the "agents of Satan" do come and tell them that it is a cult. So since the group predicted that would happen, the group therefore must true! Basically if any group tells you that they are not a cult, or that some people call them a cult, then for goodness sake find out why!

Let me show you a PERFECT example of this from the messages at "Holy Love":

November 18, 2009:

"Please realize that Satan is actively opposing this Ministry. He is trying to transform belief in the truth of these Messages into a forbidden act of disobedience. Do not be tricked, but realize that Heaven is offering abundant graces and fruits here to those who will open their hearts."

"Here at this site Heaven is trying to win the war against evil in hearts. Such an effort should be encouraged by one and all. Instead, it is presented as something to avoid. It is mankind who seeks to destroy. Heaven will not be conquered by Satan's lies. Truth will reign victorious. No one can rule against Heaven's grace."

Although this was written AFTER the Bishop's Decree regarding the unsoundness of the place, it is clearly exhibiting the very form of mind control detailed above. They are inspiring people to DOUBT and DISOBEY the Bishops, but by no means should they disobey the messages of "Holy Love." I actually saw many messages, going back even beyond 1996, that continued to say that Satan would oppose their "ministry" and they shouldn't worry about that. THAT FAR BACK.

It is my opinion, based on this, and more, that Holy Love Ministries is probably a Cult, and it's getting more and more dangerous to souls by the day. It has been working long to exercise mind control over people, and now that there has been a Condemnation from the Diocese of Cleveland on behalf of the Faithful Catholics there, "Holy Love" has cranked up the message-generating machine in order to try to do "damage control."

Use extreme caution, and if you have loved ones involved with that place, realize now why you can't reason with them: they've given over their ability to reason to a Cult.

I'm actually sending this post and my findings to a few Cult Watch groups so they can apply their own expertise and warnings. I may also turn over to them the comments received by the Cult members, which I did not publish, but hold as evidence. What I found to be particularly damning to "Holy Love" was the way these Stepford Wives parroted the messages and slogans of the place. It made my skin crawl.

It occurred to me at Mass tonight how easy it is for any of us to lose our way. But when a place that predatory that disguises itself as an angel of light and pretends to be doing great things, but with a clear diabolical agenda...well...that's just plain scary.

Catholics, you don't need private revelations in order to be Saved. If you stay close to the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion, spend time in prayer each day, read Sacred Scripture, practice virtue, and live your life as a Catholic seeking holiness, you'll be fine. That's what you need. Stay close to Christ.

If ANYONE tells you that you HAVE to believe in this or that private revelation or alleged apparition or risk going to Hell...well...run away as fast as you can. They do NOT speak with the voice of the Holy Spirit.

****************************************************************

Note: The usage of the word "cult" here doesn't refer to its original general context of "worship" but rather, of dangerous mind-controlling groups that prey on innocent people who are probably truly seeking a deeper relationship with God. Dangerous cults take small things, warp them, and exploit the faith of believers, which ultimately ends up pulling them AWAY from God. Or, in the present case of "Holy Love Ministries", it pretends to be Catholic while claiming to be Ecumenical, is heavily controlled by the "visionary" and points to the messages as the idol worthy of belief. It has separated sheep from their true shepherd by, like a mockingbird, imitating His voice through the mouth of a woman who is clearly making stuff up.

"HLM" is either Catholic or is not. If they are Catholic, they are disobedient. If they are not Catholic, they are dangerous to the Faithful who ARE under the loving authority of the Bishop who was ordained and given the authority to speak for Christ. "Holy Love Ministries" can't claim both, and in any case, the Catholics affected are bound by the Sacraments of Oil and Water and the very Body and Blood of Christ...NONE of which can be found through "Holy Love Ministries", a concept conceived in Hell and carried out through the Epic Pride of Maureen Sweeny-Kyle who has declared to her own Bishop, "NON SERVIAM! I WILL NOT SERVE!"

Last words of the Fallen Angels. The beginning of Hell.

*****************************************************************

Authority and Private Revelation

2009-11-19T22:06:00.016-06:00

Satan HATES to be mocked...and so do his followers.

In watching the seizure, meltdown, and explosion at "Holy Love" which involves anything BUT authentic holiness or charity, but I have to say it's all very dramatic, in acquiescence to our modern age.

*** scroll down to the "Holy Love" messages from November 13-20***

I see all of Satan's (and certainly Maureen Sweeny-Kyle's) juvenile idea of drama in "Holy Love", especially since the Bishop issued his lawful Decree on November 11. If it doesn't matter to them, why are they so up at arms? If they are merely "Ecumenical" why all the head-spinning? Why all the vomitous pea soup in the form of "charts" from alleged "Saints" (as you can see to your right)?

Maureen Sweeny-Kyle, Satan's minion against the Catholic Church and her Faithful is incorporating all the Shakespearean melodrama with the idea of cinematic effects of what modern cinematography could do with the melting witch of the Wizard of Oz. The effect is STUNNING!

I'd applaud except that I don't want to give adulation to a drama contrived in Hell and lived out in the real lives of real people who are truly seeking God but finding only a talking Barbie Doll, hiding behind a screen and selling, to great personal profit, a rosary containing images of dead babies, all the while telling people through a microphone or podcast that they must disobey the Bishop of Cleveland in order to find Salvation. They must believe HER and ONLY HER messages in opposition to the Bishop. And so the blind sheep-becoming-goats follow this 60-year-old woman who REFUSES to be held up to scrutiny, because she and her "husband" both know they can't be held up to scrutiny without being revealed as frauds.

Honesty and Understanding Towards My Atheistic Readership

Gosh, no wonder so many people think Catholics are totally nuts! I don't blame the atheists at all for being atheistic if THIS is their only perception of people of Faith. I just hope that they realize that we legitimate Catholics condemn such idiocy and blind devotion as witnessed at "Holy Love" as they do! I hate to say it, but really...the propensity to hysteria of private revelation devotees is as huge a cause of atheism as is nominal Christianity. No wonder you don't believe. And really, that kind of hysteria is EXACTLY what once drove me away, too.

Just know, my friends, that it isn't authentic belief, and isn't condoned by the Church, or by any person who incorporates both reason and faith.

Not that my observation in this matter is new, however. In fact, it's been around for a very long time, such that it was cited in Vatican II:

Gaudium et spes, 19 on the causes of Atheism:

Undeniably, those who willfully shut out God from their hearts and try to dodge religious questions are not following the dictates of their consciences, and hence are not free of blame; yet believers themselves frequently bear some responsibility for this situation. For, taken as a whole, atheism is not a spontaneous development but stems from a variety of causes, including a critical reaction against religious beliefs, and in some places against the Christian religion in particular. Hence believers can have more than a little to do with the birth of atheism. To the extent that they neglect their own training in the faith, or teach erroneous doctrine, or are deficient in their religious, moral or social life, they must be said to conceal rather than reveal the authentic face of God and religion.

It is no surprise to me, therefore, when I look at fiascoes such as "Holy Love" that atheists and even others of Christian faith think that we're a bunch of nut jobs with no intelligence. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to evaluate such a site to realize there is NOTHING supernatural about it, and that it is nothing but a really embarrassing fraud. The fact that so many flock there and continue to support such an obvious offense against Truth, Faith, and God Himself actually makes me realize that intellect and will play a HUGE part in protecting us from giving into such an obsequious display of fawning, drooling, and mindless devotion to "divine messages" whose only real support is "Maureen's Voices said so."

**** The Message from today, November 19, 2009 takes the cake in idiocy, though, and so I post it here:

The alleged message, November 19, 2009, reads, in part:

"St. Thomas Aquinas says: "Praise be to Jesus."

"In the Church itself, the Pope is infallible, but no one else. This is where human error comes into play. People often do not realize that they have a choice. They do not realize that not everything is infallible. They do not realize the graces they are missing for themselves and the world through 'blind' obedience."

"I have come today so that the world might see again the joys of the fruits of the Holy Spirit and open their hearts to the Truth of Holy Love."

Take another look at the bold text. "In the Church itself, the Pope is infallible, but no one else."

This is an outright example of the common-sense kind in which Maureen Sweeny-Kyle reveals has NO IDEA what she is talking about, and if she claims this to be from God, well....since when is God Mr. Magoo? Is He a bumbling idiot who has forgotten His own doctrines?

I direct you to this text from the Vatican II Document, Lumen Gentium, the Dogmatic Constitution on the Church:

CHAPTER III : ON THE HIERARCHICAL STRUCTURE OF THE CHURCH AND IN PARTICULAR ON THE EPISCOPATE

18.... This Sacred Council, following closely in the footsteps of the First Vatican Council, with that Council teaches and declares that Jesus Christ, the eternal Shepherd, established His holy Church, having sent forth the apostles as He Himself had been sent by the Father; and He willed that their successors, namely the bishops, should be shepherds in His Church even to the consummation of the world. And in order that the episcopate itself might be one and undivided, He placed Blessed Peter over the other apostles, and instituted in him a permanent and visible source and foundation of unity of faith and communion. And all this teaching about the institution, the perpetuity, the meaning and reason for the sacred primacy of the Roman Pontiff and of his infallible magisterium, this Sacred Council again proposes to be firmly believed by all the faithful. Continuing in that same undertaking, this Council is resolved to declare and proclaim before all men the doctrine concerning bishops, the successors of the apostles, who together with the successor of Peter, the Vicar of Christ, the visible Head of the whole Church, govern the house of the living God.

Wow, that seems to me to be a Dogmatic declaration, doesn't it? It makes it look like the Pope isn't the ONLY authority in the Church, is he? Could it be that infallible authority of the Holy Spirit extends BEYOND the Pope?

Let's continue:

19. The Lord Jesus, after praying to the Father, calling to Himself those whom He desired, appointed twelve to be with Him, and whom He would send to preach the Kingdom of God; and these apostles He formed after the manner of a college or a stable group, over which He placed Peter chosen from among them. He sent them first to the children of Israel and then to all nations, so that as sharers in His power they might make all peoples His disciples, and sanctify and govern them, and thus spread His Church, and by ministering to it under the guidance of the Lord, direct it all days even to the consummation of the world.

I don't see anything in here indicating that Jesus would send His Faithful to some person claiming to speak for Him in Ohio in the late 20th/ early 21st Century. But let's read on with regard to the Infallibility of the Bishops under the Pope. This is getting GOOD!

20. That divine mission, entrusted by Christ to the apostles, will last until the end of the world since the Gospel they are to teach is for all time the source of all life for the Church. And for this reason the apostles, appointed as rulers in this society, took care to appoint successors.

Thus, as St. Irenaeus testifies, through those who were appointed bishops by the apostles, and through their successors [through] our own time, the apostolic tradition is manifested and preserved

Bishops, therefore, with their helpers, the priests and deacons, have taken up the service of the community, presiding in place of God over the flock, whose shepherds they are, as teachers for doctrine, priests for sacred worship, and ministers for governing.

Don't tell Pope Maureen Sweeny-Kyle that! She'll be PISSED! Who KNOWS what her messages will look like if she actually realizes that she is WRONG!

*dramatic, shocked silence, waiting for the apocalypse*

Hmmmmmmmmmm..................................

*crickets*

The actual teachings of the Catholic Church are COMPLETELY detrimental to her plans! And if her followers find out....WATCH OUT! They will SPAM you with anonymous comments for which they can't be held accountable!

But WAIT...there's MORE!

Lumen Gentium, 2o: Therefore, the Sacred Council teaches that bishops by divine institution have succeeded to the place of the apostles, as shepherds of the Church, and he who hears them, hears Christ, and he who rejects them, rejects Christ and Him who sent Christ.

That's pretty damned condemning to "Holy Love" by Maureen Sweeny-Kyle's personal doctrine, isn't it? So much for "Only the Pope is infallible". Guess she forgot to read up on actual Catholic teaching. So much for "You don't need to listen to the Bishop". Guess actual authority outside of herself is too much for her.

(Hint!: if you're going to claim private revelation, make sure you know what magisterial documents actually say!)

Let's throw some more dirt onto Sweeny-Kyle's "Holy Love" coffin, just to be safe:

Lumen Gentium (LG, 22)

The order of bishops, which succeeds to the college of apostles and gives this apostolic body continued existence, is also the subject of supreme and full power over the universal Church, provided we understand this body together with its head the Roman Pontiff and never without this head. This power can be exercised only with the consent of the Roman Pontiff. For our Lord placed Simon alone as the rock and the bearer of the keys of the Church, and made him shepherd of the whole flock; it is evident, however, that the power of binding and loosing, which was given to Peter, was granted also to the college of apostles, joined with their head.

It's important to add:

24. Bishops, as successors of the apostles, receive from the Lord, to whom was given all power in heaven and on earth, the mission to teach all nations and to preach the Gospel to every creature, so that all men may attain to salvation by faith, baptism and the fulfilment of the commandments. To fulfill this mission, Christ the Lord promised the Holy Spirit to the Apostles, and on Pentecost day sent the Spirit from heaven, by whose power they would be witnesses to Him before the nations and peoples and kings even to the ends of the earth.

It seems, in God's plan and under the infallible authority of the Pope..that the BISHOPS are actually SIGNIFICANT to the Church and the authority of the Holy Spirit HIMSELF speaks through them! Wow! Let's read on!

25. ...Bishops are authentic teachers, endowed with the authority of Christ, who preach to the people committed to them the faith they must believe and put into practice, and by the light of the Holy Spirit illustrate that faith. They bring forth from the treasury of Revelation new things and old, vigilantly warding off any errors that threaten their flock. Bishops, teaching in communion with the Roman Pontiff, are to be respected by all as witnesses to divine and Catholic truth. In matters of faith and morals, the bishops speak in the name of Christ and the faithful are to accept their teaching and adhere to it with a religious assent.

It seems that the Church has proleptically sealed the coffin of Maureen Sweeny-Kyle's claims that the local Ordinary (Bishop) has no authority over the souls, especially Catholics, in his diocese or elsewhere. But let's just shovel another load of Ohio Clay onto this dead horse, shall we?

...Individual bishops proclaim Christ's doctrinal infallibly whenever maintaining the bond of communion among themselves and with the successor of Peter, and authentically teaching matters of faith and morals, they are in agreement on one position as definitively to be held.

I encourage you to read ALL of Lumen Gentium, and with your eyes wide open. Especially if you think you can still hold to "Holy Love" and other private revelations (and here I include those others like Medugorjie or "Mediocrity" or however that place is spelled.)

In all of this, though, can someone please explain to me why I don't see mention in here of the necessity of the messages of "Holy Love" for our Salvation, and please educate me as to why the Bishops should be ignored/opposed in light of Maureen's alleged almighty infallible testimony? I have read of the infallibility of the Pope and the Bishops, but NOWHERE, but in Maureen's own personal, desperate, dramatic "LOOK AT ME OR I'LL TANTRUM!" plea for attention do I see any authentic requirement to look to her and her Voices for my eternal salvation. Or yours.

I'm sorry, but in light of all Jesus Christ has done for His Church as His Bride, and for me personally as my Lord, Savior, and Bridegroom, I guess I can't cast my salvation in with a woman whose sole authority is:

"My Voices Said So!"

"Holy Love" is not Holy and is not Love

2009-11-19T07:27:00.004-06:00

I LOVE THE SMELL OF HERESY IN THE MORNING!!!

This morning I woke up to find out that a representative of "Holy Love" had left a treatise in how to defect from the Church in my combox. The basic argument was of course, not logical, but in the subtle slithering tones common to serpents, and with a scent of sulpher, this little combox infestation suggested that perhaps the Bishop was wrong (Like the Pharisees at the time of Christ) and that I should cast my lot with "Holy Love" if I had any concern for my eternal salvation.

And in childish, squirmy lack of logic seeking a loophole, ANY loophole, this sulpher-scented commenter said that praying is a right and we can pray ANYWHERE! (Can't you just hear the petulance, see the bottom lip drooping and the contrived threat of tears just before the all-out-screaming-rolling-on-the-floor-kicking Tantrum starts?)

People, do NOT be taken in by the argument "Holy Love" is trying to put forth. They are trying to encourage that you cast your lot in with the messages and the messenger, as opposed to the Church that was born out of the side of Jesus Christ. They are trying to make you think that if you are obedient to the Bishop, then you are putting your salvation at risk!

WHAT LIES! Do NOT listen to such lies!

Remember that we are charged with avoiding false prophets, we are charged with holding fast to Christ, and that Jesus HIMSELF gave us the Church as our Mother! Let us remember what Jesus said to Peter:

Matthew 16:17-19: And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

That, my friends is authentic DIVINE REVELATION. That comes from Our Lord. But what "Holy Love" wants you to believe is that, contrary to His Word, He has abandoned the Church He established, and the Bishops who speak for Him through Apostolic Succession in their action of the Ordinary Magisterium. "Holy Love" is clearly stating that the Catholic Church is no longer the Bride of Christ. They would probably deny that charge, but in the suggestion we not listen to the Bishop in favor of listening to and putting our Faith in the messages, well, that is prima facie evidence of their position that the Holy Spirit, and therefore Christ, has abandoned His Spouse, the Church.

I'd like to know where, in our entire history of Scripture and Tradition that Jesus stated that He'd be an adulterous spouse and leave the Church to the wolves, start speaking through some obscure lady and invent new doctrines through her? Will someone please find that prophecy for me? Otherwise, I'd say that Matthew 16 and all of Scripture and Tradition hold up to scrutiny...but "Holy Love" does not.

On Private Revelation and how it's Judged:

The litmus test for ANY visionary or message is: obedience. I am FASCINATED that this woman is claiming messages from Padre Pio and St. Catherine of Siena, two very very humble, obedient Saints. If this woman really IS channeling Padre Pio, well, he'd have slapped her silly by now for her disobedience. As I recall, when he was censured, he was immediately obedient. Not only in all of his actions and intent, but in ORDERING others to be obedient as well!

We see just the opposite at "Holy Love", don't we? The most recent "messages" are clearly written in anger, in angst at a falling empire and speaking harshly against the authority of the Bishop, desperately trying to make people believe it is the messenger and messages that are authentic, not the Bishop. BY THESE FRUITS YOU SHOULD RECOGNIZE SATAN!

Recall that humility and obedience calls down Our Lord to us! Recall that Eve fell through disobedience, and Mary untied the knot of disobedience through her own obedience! Recall that at the foot of the Cross, Jesus gave Mary to us as Our Mother, and moments later, after He had died his side was pierced by a spear; blood and water poured out. Mary is the figure of the Church; The Church is the Bride of Christ the Bridegroom. The Church is our Mother! And, my friends, the Bishops are a part of us as the Bride of Christ, the Mystical Body.

Why is "Holy Love" trying to tear the Mystical Body apart? Does Holiness and Charity rend a Body to pieces? How can they speak against abortion while tearing the Mystical Body to pieces in the same way?

Jesus and Mary speak authentically through our Bishops. Not through malicious visionaries speaking pretty words and pushing a few authentic doctrines just to make herself appear to be Catholic.

Remember that even apparitions that have been approved are not necessary for salvation. There will be no new Revelation. The Bible has been established; Tradition is in place. We need nothing more than to hold to original Truth.

Please read the 1978 document from the Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith on Apparition Discernment. Some of the text is pasted below:

I. Criteria of judgement, concerning the probability at least, of the character of the apparitions and supposed revelations.

A) Positive criteria:

a) Moral certainty, or at least great probability, as to the existence of the fact, [revelation] acquired at the end of a serious investigation.

b) Particular circumstances relating to the existence and the nature of the fact:

1. Personal qualities of the subject—in particular mental balance, honesty and rectitude of moral life, habitual sincerity and docility towards ecclesiastical authority, ability to return to the normal manner of a life of faith, etc.

2. With regard to the revelations, their conformity with theological doctrines and their spiritual veracity, their exemption from all error.

B) Negative criteria:

A glaring error as to the facts.

b) Doctrinal errors that one would attribute to God himself, or to the Blessed Virgin Mary, or the Holy Spirit in their manifestations (taking into account, however, the possibility that the subject may add something by their own activity—even if this is done unconsciously—of some purely human elements to an authentic supernatural revelation, these having nevertheless to remain free from any error in the natural order. Cf. St Ignatius, Spiritual Exercises, n. 336).

Read the entire Document. It's very clear that "Holy Love" does not hold up.

In fact, it's ANYTHING but Holy and has NOTHING to do with authentic Love. In fact...it is persecuting the Church of Christ and all of we who remain here, staunchly supporting recognized and legitimate authority which has authentically and lawfully spoken...for Christ.

Everyone, remember to pray for Bishop Lennon. If we're getting backlash in our blogs, imagine how he, the author of the Decree, must be suffering attacks from his own rabid sheep.

More Links:

Condemned Apparition Goes Spastic **** Te Deum - GREAT commentary on this!

Diabolical

Ecclesial Condemnation of Holy Love

HABEMOS MISSALE ROMANUM!

2009-11-17T20:01:00.008-06:00

Today, we watched history taking place: a singular moment in time, in a convergence of conflict, strife, unity and passion for Truth, in the ongoing struggle between humanity and divinity, of improper formation versus proper understanding of the liturgy. I'll never forget where I was in that moment.

While I watched this conference and the vote from my computer at work, I was brought back in time.....

The Council in Constantinople was overseen by Bishop St. Flavian (Bishop Flavius), back in 448 AD. His role was to defend the Faith against a serious Christological error being advanced by Eutyches, and indeed condemned it as heretical. Eutyches fought back and through the politics of the time, in 449 AD they were brought together again and St. Flavian, this time as a "party" and not presiding, made a profession of Faith and condemned the heretical errors of both Eutyches and Nestorius.

The battle continued, and in a very dramatic council, a false Council in Ephesus in August of 449. The heretics had taken control, and when St. Flavian and his supporters were sentenced to deposition, which was a condemnation of the Truth of the Church, a violation against the Faith. The Papal Legates (people who were acting in the role of the Pontiff and with his authority) protested, and a Deacon objected to the obvious violence of the heretics (for in general the heretics were prone to violence...we see nothing has changed in this age, either.) As the sentence began to be read, several bishops prostrated themselves asking him to go no further, trying to prevent the oncoming violence.

Dioscuros commanded the doors be opened and in streamed soldiers with clubs and other weapons. St. Flavian himself appealed to reason and to appeal from the Holy See in writing through the Papal Legates. Dioscuros was so incensed at this reasonable approach, the refusal of Flavius to kowtow to the violent objectives of the heretics, and his adherence to decency, logic, and diplomatic process that Dioscuros naturally had a violent reaction. He ordered his henchmen to cast St. Flavian to the ground, where he was beaten and trampled so severely that he died three days later. The Papal Legates fared better...one was beaten and unjustly imprisoned to prevent him from delivering St. Flavian's message to the Holy See. The other managed to flee after great difficulty and reveal to the Pontiff all that had occurred.

...Meanwhile, on November 17, 2009...

All of this was going through my head (what I could remember without looking it up) while watching the Bishop's debate today. Most of us who are plugged into the Catholic world via internet are familiar with the Bishops who tend towards dissent, and those who uphold Truth without compromise, and some that are theological squishy and hold the middle ground. We pray for them all, of course, but in all of it, we pray that the Holy Spirit act through them.

Today was no disappointment. It had all the drama of the past, but far less blood and guts. Today, in the course of an hour or so, all of which I was able to witness, I saw Truth, I saw betrayal, I saw political alignments and double-agents! I watched two particular Bishops, whom I expected to throw their lot in with Bishop "Catholics are stupid" Trautman step up to the plate and oppose him on his own ground!

I was so shocked I stopped working for awhile because I couldn't even FATHOM what I was seeing and hearing. There I was, a pen in one hand, a list of kid's names in another, a form in front of me...completely unnoticed.

History was happening. New alliances. Truth restored. A new translation far more faithful to the original Latin...restored. It has only to be moved to the Holy See for "Recognitio", the word for formal approval.

This moment was only slightly less important to me than the election of Pope Benedict XVI, and so I took stock of my surroundings. At that first moment, his election, I was in a pizza restaurant, the ONLY person among my co-workers who actually understood what was going on and REJOICED in it! Even the other proclaimed Catholics in my presence were utterly bored and had never heard of Cardinal Ratzinger or his importance to our Faith and to the world. Today, in this second moment, I was at work in a Catholic parish, realizing Bishop Serratelli might be speaking to ME and my future role in the promulgation of this new translation. I took stock of my surroundings, realized where I was as a parish employee, and was THRILLED at the thought I could help in this endeavor; both professionally and personally.

But!

It saddens me that MOST Catholics probably don't care about the Liturgy or the development of it, and so don't have any idea of the import of what transpired today. It is the recognition that this historical event is going to go unnoticed by so many souls professing this Faith that makes me realize that it IS akin to the trampling of St. Flavian.

Closing Speech - Bishop Arthur J. Serratelli, Chairman of the Bishop's Committee on Divine Worship

God bless dear Bishop Arthur J. Serratelli whose words upon the acceptance of the new faithful translation of the Roman Missal by the United States Council of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) were like perfectly pure, cool water to this dry, dying soul in the desert of the translation of the Mass within which I've been living from birth. It is such a GRACE to be studying Liturgy and Sacraments this semester and be able to see, clearly, how much we suffer with the bad translation dealt to us, which itself denies the very things for which St. Flavian WAS MARTYRED!

That cool water, the words of triumph, LEX ORANDI, LEX CREDENDI washed over me as I realized this had REALLY HAPPENED! Yes! the Law of Prayer is the Law of Belief! Grace builds upon nature! If the Liturgy is unfaithful...then so are we! If the Liturgy is faithful...then so are we, and even more, we are made HOLY!

SALVATION IN THE PASCHAL MYSTERY, MORE FULLY REVEALED!

We all struggle with sin, and we need every mode to holiness we can find. The Liturgy is, in large part, how the canon of scripture was discerned and if we are not faithful to the Liturgy, we are not faithful to Christ, who comes to us, in Word and Sacrament, made present, drawing us ever closer to Him. Not as a symbol...but as a reality.

I can't contain my happiness at this new translation. I await with much prayer the Recognitio from the Holy See, and hope to be of assistance where I am needed in my particular state, to assist the Faithful in understanding these changes, why they were necessary, overdue, and the importance in our salvation.

Thank you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Thank you.

Amen.

Bishop St. Flavian, Patron Saint of the Liturgy** Pray for us!

** (By my own personal designation, not that of the Church)

NOTES:

* More information on Bishop St. Flavian, Martyr.

* Post on Church History summarizing heresy in the Early Church

Diabolical!

2009-11-16T10:21:00.009-06:00

Holy Love Ministries condemns itself through outright DISOBEDIENCE to the Authority of the Church, which speaks in the voice of Christ. Here is the message, the private revelation CLAIMING to be Jesus Christ: (Note that the red bold is my commentary):

November 13, 2009
Friday - For all those falsely accused within society,
governments and within Church circles; that all calumnies are exposed by truth.

Jesus is here with His Heart exposed. He says: "I am your Jesus, born Incarnate."{{{For the oblivious: This title contradicts theology: He was made Incarnate at CONCEPTION, not BIRTH. HERESY!}}}}

"My brothers and sisters, tonight confusion may have entered your hearts concerning certain statements from the diocese. I have come to ask you some questions to help you to think like citizens of Heaven, not of earth." {{Then why is "Jesus" speaking in careful "legalese"? Isn't He above all that???? I seem to recall several scripture passages where he directly cited people and condemned them in very strong language.}}}
"Does it not say in Scripture,
'You should not stifle the Spirit' (1 Thess 5:19). Did I not state in Scripture,
'Where two or more are gathered in prayer, there I am in their midst (Mt
18:20)." {{{These passages have nothing to do with each other, and ignore the importance of testing the Spirits and avoiding what is not True. That's an inconvenient teaching in this case. Hint: Jesus doesn't cobble things together in an attempt to distract.}}}}

"My brothers and sisters, you must not place OFFICE and
AUTHORITY and TITLE above the TRUTH." {{{"Jesus also said in Matthew 16:17-19: And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." }}}}
"Tonight I am blessing you with My
Blessing of Divine Love."

I just love how she takes scripture out of context. You know, so did Satan when he tempted Christ. We are to discern the spirits, we are to test them. And our litmus test ought to be obedience to known authority, which is the local Ordinary, speaking for the Church, and thus, for Christ Himself. I'll listen to those who speak for Peter, who was given that authority by Christ, thanks.

My friends, the person offering these messages ISN'T speaking for Christ, and the above message is definitive PROOF!

I met someone this weekend who has been there and continues to support it. He will be obedient to the Bishop but clearly stated the Bishop got it wrong because apparently this woman is preaching certain things that ARE in line with the Church. But as Hamlet said, "The devil hath power t' assume a pretty face", and so that evil slithering beast has: in the form of Holy Love Ministries, which is NOW formally leading people astray in an "IN YOUR FACE!" message to the Magisterial Authority of the Church.

Let it be very very clear: we know the true spirit of any message that tells us to disobey legitimate authority. I direct you to St. Faustina. She agonized because Jesus told her to do one thing, and when she went to her Superior, her Superior forbade her from acting on what Jesus had directed her to do. St. Faustina returned to Jesus and confessed her obedience to her Superior. Jesus revealed in that moment that what she did was right, for it was a test of her obedience; she was vowed to obey legitimate authority, and the voice of her Superior was truly the voice of Christ.

It may be argued that some Saints in the past who received private revelations had some that were problematic or did not come true, and still, they are Saints. However, they were not canonized on the basis of the messages, but on their holiness, including their obedience to God AND the authority He established here on earth. Our Lord speaks through the Magisterial authority of the Church, and THAT is what we are bound to obey.

Not some chick who created a pretty place and brainwashed a bunch of people in order to push her own agenda. Outright disobedience and encouraging disobedience is NOT a sign of holiness! It is a sign of something Satanic.

What is going on at Holy Love is a complete scandal and I hope people choose obedience to authentic authority and not some "visionary" with nonsensical authority but a pretty place. Please pray for the woman claiming to be receiving these messages, and all those souls she is leading astray.

{{{SELF-CORRECTION: Holy Love is NOT under a "Catholic" heading as the Bishop already decreed that they are in formal Schism and advised they cannot function under the "Catholic" title, no matter how many Catholic doctrines or practices they promote. (From May, 1996) The Decree from November 9, 2009, a few days ago, is directed towards the Faithful, to include both clergy and laity.}}}

Lord, have mercy on us all and deliver us from such false "revelations"!

More info on "Holy Love" which is decidedly less than holy:

Evaluation on the messages part I

Evaluation Part II

Blessed Other by Laura Putre - lots of good info on the fraud being perpetuated. (As a former fraud investigator...can't believe this woman has taken her little spiritual empire so far.) How can otherwise-faithful Catholics be SO mislead? Do they switch their brains off? Their powers of observation?

Pray for Sweeny-Kyle's soul...Pray for all those who choose to follow her, especially now that the site has been condemned formally by the Bishop.

And if you are tempted to disobey the Bishop...consider your eternal salvation and that of ANYONE you mislead through the scandal you cause.

DISCLAIMER: I'm not anti-private-revelation. In fact, I LOVE St. Catherine of Siena's Dialogues. But then again, she didn't invent a "six-chambered heart", but rather, through supernatural knowledge had an understanding of Catholic doctrine and theology which she had not been taught. Sweeny-Kyle, on the other hand, has made up her own theology and it COMPLETELY differs from ALL the Catholic spiritual masters and Doctors of the Church.

Notice: "Anonymous" comments will be deleted without recognition or response. If you have something to say, attach a name or initials to it. The combox form allows you to do this without linking to a website, and it will show up at the top of your comment. This avoids confusion. Thank you.

Men's AOTM in the Star Tribune

2009-11-15T17:52:00.003-06:00

This afternoon after class I ran to the grocery store and happened to meet a friend there in the dog food aisle. She told me that the Argument of the Month Club had a writeup today in the Star Tribune. And dang it if it isn't true!

I'm glad to see the publicity for them, and am going to admit that I'm hoping their popularity is going to drive more attention to the fact a women's group is being formed (God willing) after a similar format, intending meaty "manly" meals that are actually, well...wait a minute. Women have been cooking meat longer than men! And we LIKE meat! So enough with the stereotypes, ok guys? Thanks.

Anyhow, I'm behind on doing my "homework" on behalf of the group and need to get to it soon. As it is, I'm sure my other "partners in crime" are already mostly done with theirs.

So...Go check out the Star Tribune article, and if you're a woman, stop complaining and start hoping we can get up and running. We might need your help down the road. And men...what's stopping you from heading over to www.aotmclub.com so you can plan to be at their next event?

As far as you local women...be patient. We're working on it. We will make a formal announcement when we're ready to start, although I must caution you it'll be much lower key than what the guys have right now. No one builds Rome in a day and we can't handle an event for 200 or 300 women fresh out of the gate!

This is gonna be fun....

Gorgeous Blogger Award

2009-11-14T20:12:00.003-06:00

I am very touched to learn that MONIALES OP has tagged me for the Gorgeous Blogger Award! Last summer I visited their monastery and have to say that I wished I'd had some of that very interesting information while I was there!

While they gave 6 little-known facts about their monastery, as I don't live in one I wonder if maybe I should give some little-know facts about my house?

Nah. My house is boring. It consists of walls and a roof and is basically a really expensive box I bought to keep my stuff in to ensure I'll be up to my eyeballs in debt for about 1,000 years after my death.

OK, so, six little-known facts about me:

1. I sang "La Bamba" and "Stand By Me" with a Blues Band in Puerto Escondido, Mexico. This was not karaoke, but an actual performance, albeit impromptu. The irony of singing "La Bamba" as an American in Mexico was not lost on me even while I did it.

2. I have been to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City twice, once in 1994 and once in 1996. I did not see the actual site of the apparitions, and was not actually a practicing Catholic at the time. Yet...it wasn't a waste. God knew what He was doing.

3. I was awarded "Rookie of the Year" for the Ski Patrol. It was an honor, and completely blew me away. Doesn't mean a lot now and I doubt anyone remembers. I rarely do.

4. I can only cut my own bangs a couple times before it looks like a hack job and I can't delay a good haircut any longer. As a result I only get a professional cut about twice per year.

5. Only brush with fame:

While in college I was assigned to a "mystery" security detail; my superiors asked for assistance and wouldn't tell me why. Curious, I said yes. My directions: Show up at the station at X time, but dress as a college student. Leave your uniform at home. When I arrived I was granted the temporary title of "Special Agent" and informed that an Investigator and I were part of Maya Angelou's official Security Detail.

We went to a particular location owned by the University that was hosting her and my specific job was to meet her vehicle, show my official ID and badge, and direct her driver to follow us to the official venue. Due to several circumstances they were late and her people called our people and asked us to meet directly AT the venue. We entered, made sure there was not an uprising or protest, walked among the crowds and remained vigilant with pre-set signals should any trouble arise. We learned during this time that Ms. Angelou did not sign autographs (her own personal practice of trying to maintain humility), so were surprised at the end to be summoned backstage. She wanted to thank the people who had been ensuring her safety.

I had NO IDEA what I was going to say. I was just a dumb college student meeting someone I'd studied briefly in a class, never expecting to actually come into contact with her! She greeted everyone in turn and I said the same inane thing others had said, "It was a pleasure hearing you speak." She shook my hand, glanced at me a moment, paid me a compliment with a soft smile, greeted the few behind me and then went on her way.

While driving back to school that night, I mused, "My friend Lita is going to DIE when I tell her I met her heroine! And I have NOTHING to say other than I shook her hand!"

I have never told a single soul what Ms. Angelou said to me that evening.

6. I hate talking on the phone, especially since my 5 years in Insurance with a phone attached to my head, whether I was in the office or "on the road" looking at cars. Email is preferred because that way I can deal with it when I feel like it and don't have to dial a bunch of code to get to a long message that never ends.... (much like the nature of my blog...)

TAGGING....

Charlene Duline at Prodigal Catholic Writer - A woman leading outreach to imprisoned Priests! God bless you!

Kiwi Nomad - Kiwi has great photos and commentary and you should check out her work and story.

Tina at Jake's Takes - Jake has great takes! (Jake is a Basset Hound) Please help Tina with his particular need....

Fr. Charles at A Minor Friar - I always learn something from him, especially his charity, in the proper theological sense.

Uncle Jim - Whom I miss and want to see again! (And has an epic story going on...)

Passionist Nuns at In the Shadow of His Wings - As I was tagged by a Monastery, it is fitting to tag another, especially because I have a friend there! God bless her and them and please keep all Religious Sisters in your prayers!

Ecclesial Condemnation of Holy Love Ministry in Cleveland OH

2009-11-13T13:26:00.009-06:00

Praise God for this faithful Bishop protecting not only his flock, but all souls. I know of people who pilgrimage to "Holy Love Ministries" in Ohio, and so some time ago I looked it up. My skin was crawling as I read the alleged "locutions". Doctrinal issues all over the place, in SPITE of what the "testimonials" from canonists and theologians were saying. I questioned where those people had actually READ what this woman was allegedly saying? I saw conflict, contradiction, and doctrinal issues all over the place! I also know of some people who visited the shrine and left very disturbed, although unable to articulate exactly what about the place bothered them so much.

So to any devotees, take note of the formal letter and Decree issued by Bishop Lennon of the Cleveland Diocese, and realize that it applies to ALL of the faithful, not just those in his diocese. It was just issued on November 9, 2009, a couple days ago, so bloggers, Tweeters, social networkers, please pass those links along to others.

Some time ago some anonymous person left a link on one of my posts, and I'd heard of the shrine there, but never went. I do know people who go there, even local ones. They are very faithful Catholics, but of course, the shrine and locutions were under investigation at that time, neither endorsed nor condemned.

Now they know: it's not supernatural in origin and is to be avoided. No sacramental celebration is allowed there, nor are pilgrimages, nor any support of any kind.

Holy Love Ministry has NOW been formally condemned and as the Faithful, we owe our obedience to Bishop Lennon, even if we are not from that diocese. To endorse, visit the shrine, financially support it, at this point is now a SIN, and really, it probably was even before, given the nature of doctrinal problems with the messages.

Please pass on the links to those who are unaware of this Decree so that their souls will be preserved. If the above links don't work, you may find both the letter and decree, as well as a Spanish and Korean language version here.

H/T and Mantilla Twitch to Terry at Abbey Roads.

UPDATE:

Please see a follow-up post on this: Diabolical which includes further information and links.

and

Dangerous Cult Mentality which reveals how "Holy Love Ministries" is displaying some very serious warning signs indicating they may very well be a budding Cult.

Authority and Private Revelation discusses the authority of Bishops in their care for souls and reveals how the Holy Spirit speaks and has for 2,000 years.

From Te Deum laudamus:

Condemned apparition goes spastic

Condemned "apparition" is going into grand mal

******

Please also check out the comments section of THIS post just in case you are under the misapprehension that Bishop Lennon doesn't have the right to limit Priests' faculties to hear confessions or offer Mass. In fact, he DOES have that right and HAS DONE SO. Any Confessions heard at Holy Love are invalid from this point on. "Holy Love Ministries" has been leading souls astray since 1993.

Say Something Nice About a Priest Meme

2009-11-12T19:03:00.003-06:00

Cathy tagged me for this Meme, the purpose of which is very simple: say something nice about a Priest!

The only problem I have with this is that I am blessed to know several priests who have touched my life and have brought me closer to Christ. I have so many priests I'd like to thank, including those I consider to be good friends.

So where do I begin?

I've written before of the unknown priest who heard a very difficult Confession. I've written of the one who anointed my Mom a couple years ago when we thought we were losing her during our Deathwatch Advent.

Maybe the best thing to do is honor the priests I know through recognition of the unsung and very hidden things they do; the simple things that perhaps mean more than any of us can understand. And in this case, I have to honor three priests, for the trilogy of them did the very same things for me, and at the same time. Clearly, I'm such a difficult case that one was simply not enough for the task! Or was this perhaps just a reflection of the Trinity found in a triangulation of good priests?

You decide.

A few years ago several things were converging at the same time: I was called to teach RCIA, a very new experience, and I was applying to Graduate School. It was perhaps a 9-month period of time during which all of this occurred, and it was all related.

When I looked over the materials for the Catholic Studies program at the University of St. Thomas, I saw that they were looking for recommendations from professors, but would accept that of priests if we had been out of school for a long time. I immediately approached two priests at my parish; my Pastor and one of the Associates. In all honesty, I didn't think either of them knew me well enough to write a recommendation, but I told both that I would answer any questions they had and provide any information required even to make a decision!

My Pastor simply told me to provide him with the form and he would return it in the provided envelope. The Associate asked me to come into his office so he could get a little more of my background and intentions, including my desire to teach RCIA that year. Up to that point, I really hadn't done much for my parish so had a very short resume as it applied to the Church, except for my "ministry" in Jr. High and High School. As an adult...NUTHIN'! But in the end he accepted the recommendation form, feeling he could answer their questions honestly. I was grateful.

In the meantime I began teaching RCIA. Enter the other Associate, who, upon realizing how nervous I was about my first foray into formal catechesis of others asked if it would help to meet with him and talk over the lesson I was planning. I accepted his invitation gratefully and found there an ally and a friend. He gave me some good tips on teaching in general, and, although he couldn't attend the first big talk I gave, he came into the classroom at the end to heckle me and see how it had gone. In fact, he entered the room with the other Associate who also had known how nervous I was and also wanted to provide a little support.

Later that fall, after Thanksgiving, I found that I was accepted by St. Thomas as a "special student", meaning I I could not qualify for financial aid. Given the cost of classes at St. Thomas, I could not afford to go, and sadly informed my references of the good news...but that I had to delay. I was looking into all my options.

That's when, at a fledgling Theology on Tap evening, Fr. W., my biggest RCIA supporter, upon learning my news told me about Ave Maria University, recommended the program and said he had brochures in his office. He knew they were offering a class beginning in February and suggested I look into it. Another person there, an acquaintance of mine, told me more about it and that he was looking into it as well, although he was in the Catholic Studies program at St. Thomas already. We discussed the two programs, and I realized that Ave Maria was truly was I was looking for. Had Father W. not mentioned it...who knows where I would be?

I picked up the brochure the next day and solidified my intention: I took that one class, the Writings of John Paul II as a special student, but was able to pay for the tuition out of pocket. In the meantime I was conferring with my Pastor, who also knew of my financial problems with UST, supported my looking into Ave Maria, and was familiar my agony over whether to apply there or not. I found that I might qualify for a scholarship...so much to consider!

And in all this time, I was teaching RCIA, with my Pastor, the other Associate Fr. H. occasionally present either to hear my reflections on the upcoming readings or my catechesis on the topic for the evening, depending on what was assigned for that night. I found them always to be helpful, supportive, and given it was my first year teaching, found it significant that at no point did either of them ever stand up and with a pointing finger yell out "HERETIC!" Nor did they accuse me of such in private.

It was a great help to know I was not a heretic or teaching heresy!

(Although Fr. H., upon a discussion as to which one of us was going to give the teaching on Sin, suggested I do so because, as he said, "You were a much bigger sinner than I was." Thanks, Father!)

And yes, I gave the teaching, and yes, Father would have been better at it even though it's probably true that I was the bigger sinner!

Our Pastor, although not as prone to the same kind of humor, like Fr. H. was always available for my questions as I prepared for the classes or had my own to ask. Just as surely as I was trying to form the (sorry, but true) largely uncatechized Sponsors, Catechumens, and Candidates, the Fathers were forming me. All three of them. It was that big of a job.

That spring I decided to apply to Ave Maria University formally, to be accepted into the Institute for Pastoral Theology. Once again I went to my Pastor and Fr. H., the same two who had written on my behalf to the University of St. Thomas. And once again, they agreed to help. I felt guilty; I knew I was giving them more work, and already they were stretched so thin, and I had delayed in my decision, leaving a deadline closer than should be comfortable. Both, within a couple days, either returned the sealed envelopes or sent them on directly (I forget which), and as I checked the box on the form agreed that what they said would remain confidential, to this day I have NO IDEA what they said about me, either for UST or Ave Maria. And because I agreed to confidentiality in their responses about me, I have not asked any of them about the content of their letters.

All I know is that I was accepted to BOTH programs, and I didn't do it on my own merit, but also that of the Priests who supported me without question. None of them questioned why I wanted to pursue the degree or what I ultimately wanted to do with it. They understood that I was seeking holiness, had a thirst for knowledge, and even though, really, maybe they should have hesitated in offering a recommendation on my behalf not even knowing what kind of STUDENT I was, they stuck their own necks out for my good, probably hoping for the full good of the Church.

I hope and pray I can live up to their expectations.

When I sit in class, I remember the priests who helped me get there. That includes the one who didn't write a letter, but first told me about the program and gave me the brochure. I can't write about this process without including him...he was instrumental.

Three Priests. Three of them.

Two of those Priests, the same two that wrote me letters for grad school, also served as references for my current job in another parish. True to the Mission of the Church, they formed me and sent me on, beyond the walls of our own parish, entrusting me not only to their own pastoral care, but that of the grad school they helped me to enter, and sending me to carry on the work of Christ in another place.

I am not very active in my own parish right now because my work in another and my grad studies take me away. But it is home, even though those same Associates aren't there any more, having moved on themselves. I see them occasionally and owe one of them an email. Our Pastor is still there, and sometimes asks me how classes and my job are going.

You can see why I had to mention all three priests here, if not by name. You can see how they all worked together to help this poor soul get to where she is now: still a poor soul, but one now in her last year of grad school and considering more.

It is definitely a relationship of trust, for I knew I could go to them for help, and even though they MUST have seen me as a risk to their own reputations, they offered what they could on my behalf. I am a different person now, in many ways. I could not have entered this program without them, for I had nowhere else to go. They gave me experience and helped me to develop skills. They offered support for further education, and, like Jesus, considered that their risk was worth it.

I pray that, in the end, if, God willing, I finally earn this degree (graduation in June 2010!), my effort will justify their risk, and I pray that everything I do in the future helps them to earn merit for eternity.

Thank you, Fathers, first for laying down your own lives for us all, but more personally:

* For your example of Faith in Christ, every single day, constantly

* Your example of Him to me personally, in the Sacraments (esp of Confession!), and in meeting with me when I've had questions

* Your (seeming) unquestioning support and trust in my endeavors

and finally...

* Being a true Spiritual Father in something small and hidden but which, for this particular soul, means the world, and might mean Eternity.

Thank you, Fathers. God bless you. I pray for you every day: it's the least I can do.

Love,

Your Spiritual Daughter

~ Adoro

This is such a great Meme, and although maybe it would be proper to tag 33 in honor of the years of Christ on earth, maybe I should actually stick with the rules for once and tag only 3. So I tag:

Angela

Fr. Schnippel (Priests aren't formed in a vacuum....)

Uncle Jim

I encourage you all to remain obedient to the Meme, to honor "a Priest", but if you have to honor a few who worked together...I look forward to reading what you have to say! :-)

Embraced by the Word

2009-11-10T22:01:00.003-06:00

This evening I found myself at the Cathedral, not initially intending to attend Mass, but rather to just take a break and pray in silence. But I heard Mass begin and decided to leave the Chapel of Mary and enter into the Sacred Liturgy. As I listened to the readings and pondered them in the context of my surroundings, suddenly I was struck by the inherent symbolism of the Cathedral. With my Liturgy midterm exam so fresh in my mind, I considered all the important elements of the liturgy, to include the building itself, all pointing to a God that contains everything.

I regarded the four pillars that hold up the dome of the Cathedral, representing the 4 Gospels. I looked anew at the angels and the depictions of the Virtues. I could see the image of the Holy Spirit over the Baldacchin, and...oh, the Baldacchin! To consider that indeed we are present at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb of God! There, right there, we beheld Christ the King, held up, drawing us all to Him, as He promised!

Today, from my particular vantage point at the rear, I had an entirely different view of the altar and the Crucifix which seems somewhat obscured when sitting in the front section, was quite prominent, such that I could not take my eyes off of it. I know that to enter into the Wedding Feast, I must approach the Cross.

I pondered how often I have hurt Him, and how I don't deserve His love. And yet, being there in the Cathedral, I'd had a sense of the immensity of God. There, surrounded by all the signs and symbols of our Faith, in this incredible building consecrated to God, wherin His Glory rests there in the tabernacle, where we enter into His very Presence, I had a sense of being contained in the Word. Being in the Cathedral is like being WITHIN God, surrounded by Him, embraced by Him...contained there within His ever-present love.

The architecture helps us understand, in a sense His immensity in a way that is nearly tangible, and yet, we still understand that He is not contained there Himself, but far transcends it.

I was so touched by the sense of being contained by His Word that, for awhile, I had to fight back tears. It wasn't sadness or joy, but rather a reaction to a Truth about God that perhaps couldn't be expressed in any other way.

It was a moment of enlightenment, realizing my own nothingness in the face of God, the importance of the Sacrifice of Redemption, offered...even for me. Such a realization always inspires one to want to offer something back, even understanding that anything we can offer is insufficient.

All of this brought me into pondering the Cross most especially as I passed by one of the Stations. It stands out starkly on the marble pillar with nothing to distract from the reality of His Passion: Jesus Accepts His Cross.

There it was. Jesus Accepts His Cross.

The thought came to me, that still small voice that always seems to have far more impact than the loudest shouts: Do I accept my Cross, too?

I silently asked Our Lord how to accept my Cross just as he had accepted his own? I asked Him to explain it to me. How do I embrace it? How do I embrace HIM by embracing my Cross? How can my own acceptance of my Cross in any way repay what He has done for me?

I realized how often I had and continue to presume upon His mercy. I realize how often I REJECT his mercy, and in so doing, wound Him even further. I thought about all the times I had rejected Him, offended Him, and stomped on Him in some way, when all Jesus has ever done for me...was love me. Love me so much He DIED for me, a truly horrible death. I knew that I was Jesus' Cross to bear, and yet...He still bears me. He has not thrown me down and abandoned me to corruption.

Spontaneously a prayer came to me, and I bowed my head to offer it back to Him, knowing that if it was of any value at all, it came from the Holy Spirit within me and it was both wisdom for the benefit of my soul, and a sincere offer to Jesus from the depths of my sinful soul.

Dearest Jesus,

The next time someone presumes upon me in any way, help me to remember all the times I have presumed upon You. The next time someone directly insults me, help me to recall the times I have insulted You or blasphemed against You. The next time someone offends me in any way, help me to recall to mind the times I have willfully, obstinately, and grievously offended You with my deliberate sin. The next time I am tempted to be impatient with someone, help me to recall how often you have been patient with me and how long you have waited for me to return to you in contrition. The next time I move to place myself above another, help me to remember how many times you fell as you walked to Calvary. The next time someone attacks me for any reason, before I give in to anger, help me to remember how You bore Your agony in silence and forgave Your attackers, begging Your Father to forgive them for they knew not what they were doing. Help me to realize that when I offend you, I DO know what I am doing, and yet...you still forgive me, over and over again.

Help me, Jesus, to recall your last words as you hung upon the Cross, dying: "Father, into Your hands I commend my spirit".

Let me arise each morning with this prayer on my lips as a reminder to die to myself in every moment so that I may be free to live for You.

Amen.

The truth is that we embrace our own Crosses by accepting HIS; for they are one and the same. In embracing our Crosses, we recognize who we really are and how desperately we need Our Beloved Savior. The only way to live for Christ is to be willing to die to ourselves and unite our sinfulness with His Passion and Death; only there can we be redeemed.

Jesus, into Your Hands I commend my Spirit.

How to Study Theology

2009-11-09T17:20:00.006-06:00

1. Sit down with the assigned subject matter. Get comfortable. Make sure you have your highlighter, a good pen or pencil, notebook, and a glass of water or coffee or other study-inducing beverage of choice. Begin reading, paying close attention to anything emphasized by the professor, by the author of the work, etc. Take notes relating to the paper you will have to write on the subject. Try to concentrate.

2. Realize that the 5 year old stain on the carpet is distracting you. Shift positions so that it will be out of your direct line of sight, and continue reading. (Suggestion: stack up books if you need to block your view.)

3. Realize that the stain is there, you know about it, and so you must do something about it because instead of studying theology you are meditating on the origin of the stain, the memory of how it got there, or the methods used in the past to cover it up.

4. Try to continue reading. Switch subjects if necessary, maybe to something more pleasant if you didn't start with your favorite. If you're working on essay questions, try another question that maybe seems easier to answer. Sometimes it's best to start out with the subject matter with which you are most familiar.

5. Discover that you are writing about carpet stains instead of original sin as it relates to the Immaculate Conception. Put the book down, go and study the stain. Glance up at the steam-cleaner in the corner, and go get the vacuum cleaner. The carpet has to be vacuumed before it can be steamed. Vacuum the entire room thoroughly. Notice that the stairs haven't been vacuumed in awhile and host large doghair dust bunnies. Eliminate them, step by step. Since you're upstairs, vacuum that floor, too. Return to the first level and get the steam cleaner, add the solution and hot water, and begin to go to work on the stain on the carpet. Notice that it's lighter now but might need more treatment. Get another solution and scrub at the spot, then return to the steam cleaner to finish the job. The carpet is now clean. Survey the rest of the room and see that there are other spots. Since you went to the trouble to put it all together, go to work and clean the other visible areas of carpet as well.

6. An hour and a half later, return to do your homework. Pick up the book and begin reading. Notice that the dog is begging to go out. It's a nice day for once. Put the book aside, get the leash and take the dog for a nice leisurely walk while planning how you're going to get your studying done upon your return and how to tackle the question you can't seem to grasp.

7. An hour later return home, give the dog some water and a biscuit, settle down to study. Make sure you're taking good notes! It helps with focus. Now you're starting to grasp something, especially given the metaphor of the stain in the carpet. Remember that you want to blog about it later as a practical example of applied theology in everyday life. Consider how that would look in a popular Catholic publication. Wonder if you should submit the article you haven't written yet. Look down at your paper and admire the doodles you've made while pondering your fame and fortune arising from cleaning a stain you should have cleaned years ago when it first happened.

8. While considering the virtue of magnanimity and the vice of sloth, remember the laundry waiting to be done and realize if you don't do it NOW you won't have anything to wear tomorrow. Put the book aside and go to the laundry room. Make sure everything is properly sorted so that you can actually get it all done today. Consider that if you take the time to do this now you can spend more time studying on the weekend instead of doing laundry. Rationalize that it's a trade off.

9. With a load of laundry going, return to your study area and continue working on your assignment. Reach for your glass of water and find that it's empty and you're really really thirsty, especially since walking the dog. Get up for water, decide to make a pot of coffee to help you in concentrating. While it percolates, return to your books. While reading about spirituality and mysticism and how it relates to virtue, ponder Mystic Monk coffee and the Monks who roasted it for you. Put on some Gregorian Chant. Get a cup of coffee. Sit down to study.

10. The washing machine is done, go up to put it in the dryer and add another load to the wash. While passing the bathroom, you see that it's filthy and that annoys you. Take out the garbage, return to clean the sink, tub, shower and toilet. Decide the floor can be mopped later when you're done studying for the day.

11. Return to your assignment. You have enough notes to type up into at least a draft, so go to the computer. You've been waiting for the professor to return your assignment from last month, so check email to see if he had any helpful criticism that could be applied to the current paper. He didn't send anything but you see an email from an old friend who had been meaning to email for awhile. Write back; in charity you don't want your friend to have to wait, and you really miss talking to her, so you make sure to respond to each of her questions/comments and ask your own to correspond to her enthusiasm which is, of course, mutual.

12. Close the web browser after reading and responding to five emails. Start typing your paper, being careful to add footnotes where required. It's very important; this professor is a stickler for proper citations, down to the last punctuation mark!

13. Look at the clock on the computer. It's time to start dinner. The dog is asking to go out and wants to be fed. There are more emails waiting to be answered. The mail is still waiting to be sorted, junk mail tossed away. Stand up to handle each of these things, intending to return to studying later.

14. Make dinner. Turn on the TV to catch the news, return a phone call. Grab your food when it's ready, push aside a couple books so you can sit down on the couch and watch the sitcom that came on after the news. This is a good one! Thoroughly enjoy your meal, intending to go back to your homework.

15. In the middle of your favorite primetime show, look around and notice that your theology notes and books are scattered all over the livingroom and the place is quite untidy. You look like a geek with all these books everywhere! But you're happy because the laundry is done and the carpet is clean. And you have a great idea for a blog post if only you weren't too exhausted to write any more tonight.

16. Turn off the tv, take the dog out, and go to bed. Bring one of your theology tomes up with you thinking that it might help you fall asleep and maybe dream of the subject matter: one way to internalize it! Lie down on your bed, decide to pick up Anne of Green Gables to read your favorite part, put it aside, turn off the light and go to sleep.

17. Dream about Hamlet's MacBeth "Out! Out damned spot!"

18. Wake up wondering why you were dreaming about Shakespeare and why the Bard was washing bird poop off of your car.

19. Sleepily make coffee and realize you never cleaned the coffee pot out. Make instant coffee so you can get a quick fix, and en route to the livingroom to turn on the morning news, trip over your Canon Law book and spill coffee all over the floor. Return to the kitchen sipping what's left, grab some paper towels and try to soak up the coffee. Realize that it will stain. Shrug. The carpet is old and has seen better days. Return to the kitchen to make real coffee since the act of wiping up the spill woke you up a little. Take your fresh coffee into the livingroom, sit down on the couch and regard your unfinished notes from Moral Theology.

20. Set the coffee down, pick up your book and start reading and highlighting various sections. Then realize that you can see the stain the coffee made on the floor and it's distracting you.....

***

Memory

2009-11-09T16:08:00.003-06:00

Just an observation:

Matching socks is like a never-ending game of "Memory", wherein one tries to figure out where in that pile the other sock was once sighted. You just KNOW there's a match, and you can't figure out why the pack of new socks you bought is suddenly down to half what it was. And so you lay the "singles" aside thinking perhaps their matches are still in the laundry basket. And then the pile of singles grows, and there is much rejoicing in the land when finally, a match, at long last is found. While going about this menial task, you find yourself pondering fairy tales and dreaming of princes and princesses, until you realize that you're wearing a pair of mismatched socks with holes in them, and the idea of an actual match was just a fairy tale after all.

Women's Argument of the Month Club - LIFTOFF!

2009-11-06T22:31:00.007-06:00

I'm watching "Fight Club" right now as I wind down from the first meeting of the "board" for the Women's Argument of the Month Club.

We started by establishing a few ground rules:

1st RULE: You do not talk about AOTM CLUB.

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about AOTM CLUB.

3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the argument is over.

4th RULE: Only two women to an argument.

5th RULE: One argument at a time, ladies.

6th RULE: No weapons except rosaries, Church Documents and other theological academic sources

7th RULE: Arguments will go on as long as they have to.

8th RULE: If this is your first night at AOTM CLUB, you HAVE to argue!

Oh, wait...no....maybe not...

In all seriousness it seems we all attended this meeting with the serious goal of really getting this thing going. Naturally, we realized we have more questions that need resolution before anything can move forward, so we adjourned with another date set to meet in December, and a tentative goal of starting an actual event in January.

We agreed on one thing; making sure we have a firm foundation, mission, and ground rules is key, so we are going to take the time needed and plan carefully. We would LOVE to see the success enjoyed by the men's AOTM club, but that kind of success takes time, it takes planning, and it takes MASSIVE numbers of volunteers.

I know from experience that volunteers are hard to come by. Everyone wants the events, but no one wants to do the work. So we're not going to even TRY to start with that. To do so would be disastrous and we think this would sink immediately.

We talked a little about starting with a discussion group, but in actuality, we don't think that would draw many people, and might be a little too low key. Our general feeling is that we'd like to start off with a speaker, but with an "edgy" topic of some sort, something certain to draw interest, and which would open the floor for those who may truly want to debate the topic during the Q&A.

We want hard-core theology, hard-core apologetics, so want to be sure we start off on the right foot. The venue will very likely be a local restaurant so that we won't have the issue of needing volunteers or any organization other than finding the place, the speaker, and getting the word out. It is most likely going to take place on a Friday night. Who doesn't love theology on a Friday?

Of course we have yet to choose a topic, and getting a speaker on short notice might be impossible. But then again, if God is in charge of this, He will provide; we have only to ask and do the legwork.

So! For all you women out there who have been watching the men go to argue theological topics every month, your chance is coming!

I just want to add one thing:

We have been informed that the husband of one of our board members had this bit of encouragement to offer us all:

FAITHFUL CATHOLIC WOMEN ROCK!

We concur, and thank you!

Ladies, there ya have it. We shall keep you updated on this adventure as it develops!

SNAP Judgments

2009-11-05T20:06:00.006-06:00

I refuse to link to them, but everyone knows who SNAP is and the fact they are an enemy of the Church operating under a facade of "good intention".

Let it be known that anyone who responds to any criticism of SNAP or like groups with absolute disgust should not be the targets of such judgmental and irrational questions/accusations such as:

* "You must never have been sexually abused!"

* "You are denying the fact that priests sexually abused people!"

..among other stupid, irrational absurdities. Those very challenges are so ridiculous and offensive it's impossible to respond, and actually...doesn't DESERVE a response. Seriously, why does someone have to have been sexually abused in order to understand that it's a horrible, horrible soul-and-life-destroying evil? And how does legitimate criticism of an anti-Catholic organization that claims to be "Catholic" translate into denial that the abuse ever occurred?

(As an aside, that's exactly the type of emotionally-based "argument" I expect from dissidents, i.e. SNAP members if we start the AOTM club, and I am quite amused at the idea of someone trying to defend such a position against actual facts and figures and rationality.)

If you need a quick synopsis on this group, and a starting point for your research into them, this has a nice summary: Twilight of the Scandal.

You may also be interested in reading the legal case history about Fr. Gordon MacRae, written by a journalist not associated with the Church, and you may be especially interested in his treatment by SNAP which obviously has no interest in Truth, only money and power. Further information for research into Fr. Gordon MacRae and the lack of due process for accused priests can be found here.

If you support SNAP, stop your donations NOW for I would suggest continuing to donate to them is not only scandalous, but may well be a mortal sin. (Actually scandal and mortal sin go hand in hand.) But that's between you and your confessor. Remember that mortal sin consists of the following:

1. The issue is an objectively grave matter

2. It is done with full knowledge

3. It is done with complete consent.

Let's analyze:

* We know this is a very grave matter. Ignoring and falsely imprisoning priests because it's the popular thing to do, and doing it for money and power is objectively, a very very grave sin. Being involved in a group that is doing such a thing is akin to direct participation, which is also a grave sin. (It's like donating to Planned Parenthood)

* You have been provided with the info and you now have full knowledge, and if you chose NOT to click on the links provided above, you are even MORE culpable because you are REJECTING Truth outright.

* By continuing to support a group that would do such things with complete consent...just sealed the deal, and not in a good way.

Mercy!

It's a dang good thing Christ left us with the Sacrament of Confession, isn't it? As long as we realize what we've done, that we're truly sorry, and desire to amend our lives and not repeat that sin, well....all of the above can be, in a sense, undone. But if you're a member of SNAP you might have to make reparation in another way, such as sacrificing and doing penance for the priests wrongly imprisoned because of YOUR support.

As far as those nasty creatures who engaged in any kind of sexual abuse...let them be punished by the law just as it applies to every other lay person accused of the same crimes.

Their punishment should not be worse or privileged in any way. THE SAME.

On the spiritual end, vengeance belongs to God alone and no doubt He will repay...whether in this life or the next. It's STILL our job, and the very direct teaching of Jesus Christ to forgive and pray for those who have sinned, no matter how much they have hurt us or what sins they have committed.

I suggest maybe we have a day of prayer, penance, and reparation for members of SNAP and like organizations. And the same for priests who have abused and are guilty. Both have equal need for God's mercy, for both have done nothing but victimize others and lead souls astray.

The difference between SNAP and a priest brought to legal justice for legitimate crimes is this: SNAP is running unchecked and continuing to destroy souls, both that of others and their own.

Personally, I'd like to see justice across the board, and am realizing that since there is no justice in this world, it's going to happen for some in the next.

Let's all offer Divine Mercy prayers, sincerely, for all the souls that have done damage to the Church and to our unity FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!

Prayers for Reparation

Given this is the octave of the Feast of All Souls, and tomorrow is a First Friday, Saturday a First Saturday, let us remember especially those souls who have hurt the Church...and pray for their release from Purgatory. Let us do THEIR PENANCE. Let us obtain every indulgence for them.

This is a grace-filled month especially offered for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. In turn, I'm sure the Holy Souls will pray for our intentions, that being the conversion of souls here on earth, especially those actively involved in their futile attempts to destroy the Church, within which they are only destroying themselves. Pray for them.

Let us be done with snap judgments and instead, turn to prayer especially for those who are willing to convict and condemn before they are willing to pray and offer mercy.

That means I'm asking you to pray for me, as well. Thank you.

Argument of the Month Club - for Women!

2009-11-05T10:03:00.005-06:00

I didn't get a lot of comments on yesterday's post, and maybe that's because most of my readership isn't from the Twin Cities.

However, it is my duty to inform all the strong faithful Catholic women in the diocese that a Women's Argument of the Month Club may be in the works. The groundwork is being laid and there are a few of us getting together this weekend to discuss the possibility and see what's feasable, and what isn't.

In other words, it's about Faith and Reason.

In order to address some concerns, let me say first of all that this ain't gonna be yo mama's sewing circle and "let's-talk-about-our-feelings-discussion-group." That has its own venue everywhere else. Not here.

1. The Women's Argument of the Month Club is going to keep the title and no, we're NOT changing the word "Argument" into "Discussion".

2. While vegetables and dip and salads MAY appear on the buffet table, they will be ADDITIONS to the same hearty and meaty meals provided to the men. I don't know about you-all but I'm a midwestern girl from Irish and Swedish ancestry (among other peasant European countries) and I grew up on a meat-n-potatoes diet. Didn't most of us?

3. This is about REAL hard-core theology, REAL issues in the Catholic world today, and REAL argument (and ok, discussion ALSO) involving faith and reason. In other words, if your entire argument about why you believe, for example, that contraception should be ok is based upon feelings, you are going to be shredded and fried up with toast and served with fish and chips on Friday. The converse is also true; if your reasons for supporting the Church's teaching on why contraception is a grave evil is based on feelings, the same thing applies. If you're going to enter into an argument, know what you're talking about.

Again....this ain't yo mama's sewing circle. If that's what you're looking for, go join it.

If you want hard-core REAL Catholic, AUTHENTIC feminism at its best, this is the club you've been waiting for. And it's going to need YOUR help to get it going.

So stand by for more info. Our little group has yet to meet and I'm jumping the gun on this announcement to ask for prayers both for the current men-only AOTM and for discernment as to whether the Holy Spirit is truly calling for an official women's group to be started as well...and in what way.

If you ARE local and interested, drop a comment in the box, spread the word, and if it seems like this is going somewhere, maybe the few of us will start another web site dedicated to the mission.

Disclaimer: Someone talk me out of this quick. I obviously have NO IDEA what I'm getting myself into.

Take Up Your Spear

2009-11-04T09:04:00.004-06:00

There's maybe something in the wind these days, a sort of discontent among the women of this diocese. There's something amiss, and quietly, some of us have been talking, conniving (as women can do so well) and realizing that we're not alone in our thoughts and desires.

There is something in this diocese that men have, and it excludes women. I might add that it excludes women for good reason, and we do not desire to encroach upon their sacred ground, for what they have, they desperately NEED for themselves and it is doing incredible things in building the Kingdom of God.

Yet, there's something missing; there is no counterpart for women.

I know some of my readers are scratching their heads right about now, wondering what on EARTH I could be talking about? Have I gone insane? (Well, it's possible, but that shouldn't be a new question.) Am I talking about the priesthood? No. I am now and will continue to be a strong advocate of the infallibly-taught-belonging-to-the-deposit-of-faith all-male Priesthood.

Then WHAT?!

Ladies, you've probably noticed the lack yourself, even if you can't put your finger on it. Look around at all the pious church lady offerings in your own parish. What do you see? Of course there are very good and laudable volunteer opportunities that require both men and women, in the parish and in organizations supported by the parish. That might mean working in the kitchen or making blankets for Birthright or Holy Family Adoption Agency. Great stuff!

But look further. Look at the "spiritual formation" opportunities designed for women, and "recreational activities" through the different women's organizations. What do you see?

More of the same. Some speaker comes in to talk about what true feminism is, and it's designed mostly for mothers and families and longevity in marriage. All well and good. That fills a niche, but it doesn't appeal across the board, does it? Or what about the things that are supposed to be "fun"? What do they involve? Scrapbooking, needlepoint, recipe sharing, cookie swapping....UGH!

Sorry y'all, but I'm too bored to go on. I'm glad that some people enjoy those hobbies, but what I really wanna know is this: where's the paintball? Where's the skiing? Where's the snowmobiling out at someone's farm by the state park? Where's the ADVENTURE? Where is Father Corapi or Father Barron or...someone name a great orthodox female speaker? Where is the REAL spiritual formation? Why are women left with fluff while men get all the good stuff?????

Every time I look at the female saints in the Church, I see women who were ON FIRE with love for God, and they weren't afraid to defend the Faith. They weren't afraid to speak out and they gladly and joyfully went to some truly awful forms of martyrdom.

I'm not slamming simplicity. I'm all for simplicity, and holiness in the small things. And all of us are called to that.

But some of us need more than that, and truly, our times DEMAND more of us.

Ah, now I'm getting to the meat of this post. Are you intrigued? Are you bored to death with "women's stuff" at your parish? Would you like something that feeds your fiery spirit and desire to defend your faith?

Well, ladies, maybe something is coming. But it's going to take prayer, it's going to take work, it's going to take organization, and it's going to require a really solid solid faithful holy advisor.

How many of you are familiar with the Argument of the Month Club? For those who are not, this is a club for men only, they have awesome meals, they witness great debates and have the opportunity to challenge the debators at the end of the evening. This event is drawing anywhere from 200-400 men each month! This is incredible! This is awesome! God bless them!

But you know what, there's a lot of women who want the same thing. And I'm not talking about some fluffy "speaker" who comes in to teach us how to make silk flowers. NO! I'm talking about getting those same kinds of speakers as invited by AOTM to discuss hard-core issues and in so doing, teach us how to defend our faith more effectively, give us a chance to step up to the plate (literally and figuratively), and discover that we have more to offer God and the Church than just needlepoint and crafts. Ladies we have VOICES and we love the Church...shouldn't we be a lot more vocal in that love for Christ? Isn't apologetics part of our baptismal requirements, too?

Of course we don't have to be a clone of the men's club; we are women, after all and certain elements may not suit us. But for the tomboys among us, of which there are many, perhaps it's time to answer this particular Call. We need a similar women's organization.

Some of us are kicking around the idea of starting this club. I don't know where it will go. Certainly it can't depend upon me, especially given I can't organize myself out of a wet paper bag ripped open on each end. But I sure can ADVERTISE, can't I? Oh, and you'll NEVER see me upon the platform speaking...I'm not a debater, either.

So, ladies everywhere, please keep this intention in your prayers. It might go somewhere, it might not. It depends upon the Holy Spirit. Everyone knows that if He isn't involved, it will fall flat. As I understand it, someone tried to start a club at some point in the past and it didn't "take" so no longer exists. Maybe it was timing. Maybe it was lack of marketing (I certainly had never heard of it). In any case....is NOW the time?

Who's with us?

Mass for the Feast of All Souls

2009-11-02T19:48:00.003-06:00

I just arrived home from Mass, and I'm grieving with the same kind of sadness as that which strikes me to the core on Good Friday. Such is proper, it would seem. Today, and throughout the month of November especially, we remember the souls of those who have died, and we pray for them, offer sacrifices for them, and implore the Saints to intercede as well.

Last night I woke up around 3 am (which is common for me) and realized that I'd almost forgotten a loss very dear to me; my cousin George, who died in April. He's been at the forefront of my mind all day, and in truth, I believe he is asking for prayers. Yet I also have been praying much for my Dad, in hopes that somehow, my measly prayers can perhaps be of some help to him. I guess it's proper that these two souls have been closest to my heart today, for although no one could replace my Dad, George was definitely a "father figure" to me in some ways and I would not be the person I am without either of them.

So my heart is heavy today, as it should be.

This evening at Mass Father's homily nearly brought me to tears. In truth, it did, a little, and I fought mightily to will those tears back into their ducts. I knew if I got started, I would be overwhelmed by the grief he so perfectly named as he spoke about the purpose of today's remembrance, and in considering that everyone there had lost someone close to them. We were there, tonight, in Catholic Churches all over the world, united in our grief and in our prayers for all the Holy Souls.

It was as beautiful as it was sad, but there wasn't any other place I wanted to be in that moment.

After I had received Holy Communion and returned to my pew, I recalled that NOW is the time to unite my grief, there at the foot of the Cross with our Sorrowful Mother. There, at the Cross, where that same sorrow sent Our Lord to suffer death in order to overcome it. It occurred to me that when we grieve, it is a very direct participation in the sufferings of Christ, for before we ever experienced love, He had experienced losses we cannot fathom, and grieved so profoundly He was made incarnate in order to free us from death!

While pondering this, suddenly the words, "May the Passion of Our Lord be always in your heart. May the Passion of the Lord be always in your soul!" so strongly it was as if I was taken directly to Calvary, where I knelt on the stones. I could hear the creak of the heavy Cross that swayed in the wind and in response to Our Lord's gasping breaths. I felt drops of His blood, noted the terrible lashes that wound down His legs even to his feet. It was so real, so vivid, that I knew in that very moment it WAS true, it WAS happening, and it does at EVERY Holy Mass!

The Sacrifice of the Mass is just that; it is the one and only Sacrifice of Calvary, made present for us in all times.

And there is where we most efficaciously offer our prayers and petitions, where we unite our own sufferings, offer ourselves upon the same altar, taking refuge under the shadow of His wings, seeking to hide within Jesus' Most Sacred Heart.

I was torn away from the blessed images that had come to me in prayer, called to stand for the final blessing. As I opened my eyes I felt as though, for a moment, I'd been transported through time...and I never wanted it to end.

Truly, the Mass is more real than anything else we can experience in this life.

The rest of life is only preparation, time spent preparing to go to Mass, and each Mass is an experience of the Eternal Mass to which we are called for eternity. The blessed are those who have gone before us and wait for us to join them when the Master calls.

We mourn those we love, and we are left with grief-spotted lives, torn tapestries revealing those we think should be present in our lives. And yet, if what the Mass reveals is true, even if they are in the fires of Purgatory, they are blessed, for even there they are a PART of the Mass in a way none of us can be. They are in constant prayer...for us. They are free from this earthly mortal coil that holds us back, perhaps in a true "dark night of the soul" for they are SO CLOSE to God, and need only our prayers and sacrifices to help them enter into eternal beatitude, finally reaching that eternal Wedding Feast of the Lamb.

We mourn here on earth, and it's proper to our state. We sow in tears, praying to one day reap in joy when finally, we, too are called by the Master to enter into His house. Perhaps we, too, will need to be purified, and we will need the prayers of the Faithful especially when Heaven touches Earth in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

Today, let us mourn those we love, and those who have no one else to pray for them. Let us recall the Passion and Death of Our Lord and rejoice in His Sacrifice, for it is that very Sacrifice that gives us all hope for a blessed eternity. If we truly love those we have lost, that is what we will for them. Remember that death is not the end but really only the beginning of eternity.

Thank you, Jesus.

Lord, have mercy on us.

Christ, have mercy on us.

Lord, have mercy on us

Christ, hear us

Christ, most graciously hear us

Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord.

And may perpetual light shine upon them.
May the souls of the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.

Amen.

The Liturgy: Heaven Torn Open

2009-11-01T20:35:00.004-06:00

We face a crisis today: most Catholics don't know what the Liturgy is about, what happens, or why they should go to Mass. It's a sad commentary to admit that most of us don't know the first thing about the Mass, and consider it to be something akin to a childhood requirement and so we attend it for the same reasons: because we are TOLD to do so.

Yet how many ever bother to ASK why this is so? No wonder so many fall away! In this culture of relativism, no one thinks it NECESSARY to ask important questions about eternity, as they find it more convenient to rest in the lazy philosophy of this age that dictates comfort over sacrifice, orientation to self over orientation towards others, and outright hostility towards God versus love of a God who both Created and Saved us by becoming one of us!

A few years ago a friend of mine, a Baptist, asked why Catholics are required to attend Mass each Sunday.

I had a hard time answering him, because, firstly, based on his query, I was surprised he didn't seem familiar with the Ten Commandments, including the Commandment to keep Holy the Sabbath; what good Christian would EVER question the need to honor God on the day He designates? Who would DARE disobey such a simple Command? Whether we are Catholic or Baptist or Evangelical or Lutheran or Presbyterian or Methodist...who would EVER question this Divine Commandment necessitating the attendance of Worship on Sunday, the Day of Our Lord's Resurrection?

Are you INSANE to ignore Christ in favor of a Football or Baseball game? Come on, Christians, this ISN'T just a "Catholic thing"! Get your priorities straight!

Rant Over, Moving On to Original Topic...

For Catholics, though there is more; it's not just because it is a binding Commandment; in going back to my conversation with my friend, it was necessary to explain to him that one needs to ALSO understand what the Mass is about.

It's not a mere "service" where we sing a few songs and listen to a few readings, get a token akin to something used to clean our vehicles, and leave. The world wants to paint the Mass with such a parody, and refuses to recognize that such is so deeply offensive to us that in order to make reparation for the offense, we do even MORE of the same!

Oh, yes, the Mass, the Liturgy, is important; not just for us, right now in this moment, but for Eternity, for everyone, everywhere.

I write about it today, on the Feast of All Saints, because it is at Mass, at each and EVERY Mass throughout the year, that Heaven is torn open and all of Heaven and Earth, in all times, in all places, the Sacrifice of Calvary is made present. The Mass is the preparation for the Savior, the Nativity, the Birth of Christ, the explanation of that preparation (via the homily which expounds on the scriptures, if done according to what is supposed to be done), and finally the Sacrifice of Calvary. It is made present in all times, past, present and future.

When we kneel at the Consecration, we are kneeling at the foot of the Cross itself! The Precious Blood of Christ falls upon us, unless we repel it by our own sinful state! We must be open to receive the graces that come to us so freely through the offering of Jesus's Body and Blood!

The Liturgy is the public worship of the Church, wherein all the Angels and Saints, and we are present at the Sacrifice of the Lamb, at the Wedding, are all, together, the Bride who receives Him!

The Liturgy is where Heaven is torn open, where the Holy Spirit enters the Upper Room and all of Heaven is made present, not to condescend to our way of being, but to raise us up to the Heavenly Liturgy, where the Saints and the Angels Praise God eternally in their perpetual and infinite union with Him, all through the Wounds of Christ...who made it possible!

Poverty

I never learned this growing up. I learned that the Blessed Sacrament is Christ Himself, even though I couldn't understand. I still believed, for those wiser than me told me it was so.

But the Liturgy didn't help me to understand it, for rather the liturgy I remember and even experience today, through the music, enforces a sort of "symbolic" Holy Communion. We sing about "bread" and "wine" and about how we are "going" to encounter Jesus, ignoring the fact of our Liturgical and, therefore, ACTUAL reality that CHRIST IS PRESENT NOW!

When we attend Mass, yes, there is bread, but when we are "singing" (I use the term loosely) about it, in actuality, at that point, Christ Himself is made manifest in the Blessed Sacrament. We are present at Calvary but singing as though we are in the desert with the Israelites, eating only Manna!

Manna could not save our ancestors the Israelites and today, cannot save us!

When we attend Mass, we are NOT partaking in mere meltaway bread, but the very Body and Blood of Christ!

There is a great poverty in the Church today; there is a great disregard for what is happening, a total ignorance of the actual presence of the Lord, and of the Communion of Saints. There is a great disregard and total oblivion to the presence not only of the Cross, of the blood that saves us, but the worship of the Saints who kneel there with us in solidarity.

Today, on the Feast of All Saints, we are reminded of their presence, which is there every day. We are never alone, for those who have gone before us and rest with Our Lord still live, and they cannot live without praying. Why should we not ask for them to pray for us, too?

Today, on the Feast of All Saints, we recognize, out of ONE Liturgy throughout the year, their presence, although they are present at all, and tomorrow, on the Feast of All Souls, we ask those Saints to pray with us for all those who have died; we know not if they are Saints or whether they, most likely, burn in the purifying fires of Purgatory.

Indeed, most who die do not go straight to Heaven, but pass on to the Holy Fires of Purifying Purgation; let us pray for them, sacrifice for them, recognize what they suffer so that they can move on to Eternal Beatitude.

My dear readers, my dear friends, my dear visitors, pray for those who have died and do not forget them. Remember the Saints who have gone before you and who glorify God in their holiness, for it is ONLY God who makes anyone Holy. Pray for those in Purgatory, for they cannot pray for themselves but surely pray for YOU even if you do not recognize them in those holy, purifying fires.

Do not think the Liturgy is a sandbox or a playground belonging to the individual. It is the very household of God, set to order by Him alone, and we have the privilege of being invited. We are mere guests to this Heavenly Sacrifice and Feast, and have not the right to introduce our own themes or preferences.

To introduce our own ideals would alienate our Host, Our Lord Jesus Christ. To enter into this house and try to manifest our own comfortable preferences....how could any of us even consider such a debacle? How could ANY of us, upon entering upon a wedding feast, impose our lower preferences and seek to destroy the ideal of the Groom and the Bride?

Such is the Liturgy, which belongs to all times. The very moment we impose our own preferences, we leave Eternity in favor of personal fantasy, and if we are leading, we sacrifice grace for personal Pride. Do we DARE cut ourselves off from the Sacrifice of the Cross?

For Fun - A Dark and Stormy Night

2009-11-01T18:02:00.002-06:00

I had meant to post this yesterday, or rather, re-post. Back in 2007 I wrote about a creepy night, a storm, and horror movie rules. What I learned that night is that maybe the actions taken by horror movie characters are far more real than any of us can ever really understand, and when you're in the moment, the "rules" are the LAST thing to come to mind...

Are you interested? Then read on....

It Was a Dark And Stormy Night....

This is my obligatory Halloween post.

Today, I saw a post at Happy Catholic, giving the rules of lessons learned from horror movies.

These are especially pertinent:

* Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

* When you have the benefit of a group of people, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

Now, while these rules are great, they are very general: for you see, the basement may also mean "upstairs", and "pair off" can also mean "solo".

So, with that prelude, let us begin the entrance music, and the narrative laughter of Vincent Price....

(cue evil chuckle...)

**********************

Several years ago, I lived in an old house in Minneapolis; an old two-story house that favored darkly stained woodwork, soft pine flooring, and high ceilings. The upper story sported a couple dormer windows that faced toward the street, had window seats to go with the dormers, etc. You are likely familiar with such architecture.

One summer night, my roommate, the homeowner, was at work. A male friend of mine and I had gone out earlier and returned to my house, planning to spend the rest of the evening watching TV. Our show, "Mad TV" was interrupted by the local weatherman tracking a massive severe storm. Predictably, the storm arrived with a huge gust of wind and rain, and of course, knocked the power out. Realizing it was a lost cause, we moved from the couches to a mostly unfurnished area of the room and made ourselves comfortable on the wood floor as we watched the storm rage outside, continuing our commentary on life and technology in the face of nature.

I had already lit one candle and perched it on the top of the piano before seating myself next to my friend. The flame cast small and rapid shadows across the room, shrinking and elongating our own profiles against the walls and the cold fireplace situated on the northern wall, interrupted only by ultra-bright flashes of lightening.

Then we felt a drip from above. Mind you, we were on the first floor and there was a second floor that contained the bedrooms. I raised my hand, seeking the falling fluid, trying to pinpoint from whence it came. I did not seek in vain.

Although I could not see the fluid, logically I realized that a window must be open. Or maybe the roof was gone, taken away by the intense winds. Perhaps the hail had broken a window.

Or...(cue evil laughter....)

...given the red flags above...maybe it was blood. It wasn't as though we could see what was coming through the ceiling. It wasn't as though the foundation for a good horror flick wasn't present in palpable form.

Either way, as we both looked upward, my hand out, catching the drips, I told my friend (a guy, but just a friend) to light the rest of the candles downstairs. I took the first candle and headed for the stairway.

Alone.

When I reached the bottom step, I stopped, realizing that what I was doing was against "the rules".

"Hey...if I don't come back down...GET OUT!" I yelled as I began to mount the creaky old wooden stairs.

My friend chuckled and continued lighting and placing candles around the room. (That's in the generic script, too.)

Slowly I climbed the stairs into the darkness of the stormy night, holding my single candle, waiting for the draft that would put it out and leave me in pitch blackness, the complete absence of light, with whatever had caused that awful dripping. The palm that had touched the unverified fluid felt tacky; was the roommate really home, after all?

Slowly, with an outward courage I did not feel, I crept into my roommate's bedroom and found my way, via the candle flame and flashing lightning, to the dormer window. Her gym bag was on the window seat, and in order for me to reach the handle, I had to move it. I took care to be sure the light curtains, although soaked with rainwater, did not touch my candle.

Upon grasping the strap, I recognized immediately the sensation of the driving rain, which had, in fact, caused a puddle to form on top of the waterproof bag. Clearly, as we'd surmised, the window was open. I began to relax.

Carefully, I set my roommate's gym bag on the floor and knelt on the window seat so I could reach out and reel the window closed. Mentally I noted that I'd have to return later with towels to soak up the water on the floor.

On my way back downstairs, having so far been unmolested by the creature that lured me to the darkest place of the house via the open window, I watched the closet...ready to fight or flee. But it remained closed. I listened for creaks...but the floorboards never creaked. I felt for the slain body of my roommate...but never tripped in the darkness.

And all the while the storm raged around the house. I sensed that something was laughing at me.

I reached the stairs, waiting for the scythe to whir through the air towards my throat...but it never happened.

Step by step...each terrible, creaking step, I found my way back to the main floor....and there was my friend.....

...In a well-lighted room, all the candles aflame, as he watched the storm outside, resigned to the hail damage to his vehicle.

I joined him, setting my candle on the pinewood floor, and together, we waited for the lights to come back on. When the storm ended, he left and drove back home.

Update:

We're still friends. My guy friend, Dennis, is alive and well. He finished his aerospace engineering program and found a job with a major company.

My roommate came home the next morning, exhausted from work, and by then, her room was dry and the power was on, and no one was dead.

The vehicles parked outside the house that night had lots of hail damage. As I had a Saturn, my damage total was limited so the insurance paid me a little over $1,000 which I used to purchase equipment I needed that winter for Ski Patrol, and pay a few other bills. I never fixed my car.

The electricity was restored the next day.

***

I never said it was an interesting story.

Mocking the Devil

2009-10-31T08:20:00.005-06:00

People who weigh in on the annual "Halloween Debate" often cite the costumes that are used by children and adults alike; they dress as devils, monsters, ghosts, witches, and all sorts of creepy creatures, juxtaposed with the also-traditional saints and angels or, of course, movie characters, persons from history (Mary Queen of Scots comes to mind), etc. To some people's minds, the more devilish costumes seem to them to be a form of "affirmation" of dark powers and principalities, and really, nothing could be further from the truth. At least not in the original intention.

In ye olde tymes, the children dressed up devilishly not to give honor, but to MOCK the devil, and oh, how the devil HATES to be mocked! It takes his power away when we refuse to fear him, and when those innocent children are doing so, it's even WORSE for him! And of course, the practice of dressing as Saints and Angels WAS a sign of honor, of how God overcomes evil. I seem to recall reading somewhere about "passion plays" where the Saints and Angels would banish the little "devils", and so the children both had fun and learned about the triumph of the redemption.

So in the spirit of remembering the olde traditions, I have been pondering how I should dress up this year if I hand out candy. A couple years ago, at work my boss and I dressed as Saints and went around to different classrooms in the school to talk about who we were. My Saint happened to have been a religious sister, so I wore a "habit" and carried the symbols proper to the Saint, then kept the costume on when I handed out candy to the little cuties who came by.

I've decided though, to be SCARY this year! I like the idea of mocking the devil, although I have no interest in putting on red footie pajamas and attaching horns to my head and a little forked tail to my butt. Somehow that look works on a child but just makes an adult look so ridiculous the actual mocking of the devil is lost and becomes mocking of the ridiculous adult.

So I pondered and pondered, thinking of all the creative costumes I've worn in the past. None are really proper. And then...it occurred to me. What's the SCARIEST thing I can think of? What mocks the devil and his work in this world?

WOMYNPRIESTS!

Oh, yeah!

I can't even CONSIDER anything scarier than that! So tonight, I'm going to dress as a womynpryst! Of course, EVERYONE knows they don't really exist, but that's also what makes them SCARIER! ARRRRRRR!

Here's how I'm going to create my costume: I'm going to find an old white sheet and cut a hole in the middle for my head, then find some kind of a belt or rope or something to tie it at my waist. We'll call that an "alb". Then I'll get a red or neon-colored plastic tablecloth, cut a hole in the center of that, and drape it over my head. We'll call that the "chasuble". Then I'll find a clashing swirly-patterned or rainbow-colored scarf, and drape that over the "chasuble" and we'll call that the "stole". Oh, and I have to find a grey wig or maybe use flour or something to make my hair gray.

Actually, as I think about it, that IS the authentic outfit of "womynpriests"! For props, I'll carry around a kool-aid pitcher filled with grape juice and a tiffany-glass bowl containing cubed French or Italian bread, maybe mixed with honey-wheat pita bits.

I wonder if I can find anyone to dress up as members of CTA or VOTF? Any takers? I might also need a womynbishop with a tall clashing badly-designed "mitre". You have to look as authentic as I do! Oh, and if you're going to do this, you have to go around scowling and railing against the male hierarchy but smiling and cowtowing to anyone who sings your same mantra.

I seriously can't think of a better way than this to mock the devil and his work.

Oh, I'm off to put my costume together!

I LOVE Halloween! This is great!

RainGlare

2009-10-29T20:09:00.004-06:00

A Free-Association post compliments of Adoro being random:

I swore to myself I'd never write about my discernment again.

Obviously I'm an idiot for EVER having done so. It's hard to write about especially now, and when I do it, I get frustrated by the comments if I leave them open. It's frustrating to me because all I'm trying to do is be heard. The voice of those who are discerning is a lost one, and one often ignored, willfully. It's difficult, then, to put myself out there as that voice, and find that even the explanations are minimized, or people think that it's something that needs to be "fixed." We are a nation of "fixers". We have this weird need to end ANY kind of suffering, even if it is suffering that belongs to a certain kind of purification or formation.

We have this weird idea that everything needs to be comfortable or that everyone needs to be comforted. And we are willing to run all OVER people as long as it means they are "fixed" according to our own personal definitions.

As an aside:

Personally, part of my discernment problem is just that I happen to be a cold fish and can't stand people fawning over me, and I don't tend to fawn over others, either. (Maybe that comes from my few German genes, dunno). I question, though, exactly how I can both be a cold fish and a total softie with my heart on my sleeve all the time, but there it is. I'm a paradox even to myself.

I don't really know why I'm writing any of this. Who really cares? (For the literalists: that's a rhetorical question coming from the wry side. Please don't answer it.)

But here goes....

This evening, I got caught in some freeway traffic. It was rainy, the roads glared, the headlights glared, the windshield was partially fogging no matter what I did, and it was raining but inconsistently, which, combined with road spray, made it extra hard to see. When I drive in such conditions, even if I'm following an Uncle Ike type, I tend to just stay there until there is a huge gap in traffic, because I fear I'll miss something in all the rainglare and end up changing lanes directly into the path of a oncoming semi or something and end up being spatula'd up off the road and sent home in a bucket.

Tonight, as I drove a particularly bad stretch of constantly changing traffic, I followed the crowd in the right lane, and when I began to see flashing lights, I did check and try to move over a lane per Minnesota law. I wasn't able to get all the way over, and in fact, a racing driver actually swept PAST me as I was passing the Police Officer walking between the stopped vehicle and his own. I was amazed by the audacity of that driver, who should have KNOWN that law but still chose to ignore it and nearly cause an accident as he went between me and a car on our left in the next lane.

I was amazed only in that weird rhetorical sense that comes with wanting a Pollyanna attitude, yet not able to find it through all the cynicism that tells me the driver was either a total idiot, a total criminal, or driving so fast through the rainglared roads that he didn't see the cop on the side of the road until he was already done cutting people off. So, "amazed" but not a bit surprised. Rather, it was expected. Which is why I don't change lanes in such conditions. I'm not a Pollyanna.

Anyway, as I got back into the right lane, I thought about that Officer, and prayed for him. The cars in front of me...NONE tried to get into the left lane, even though it was clear. They slowed down, but at 50 mph down from 60...it's still deadly.

I remembered my own freeway traffic stops, quite vividly, actually. I hated them. I hated standing at the side of the road, cars and trucks flying past me as if we weren't there, as I bent towards the driver, trying to hear, trying to yell above the sound of traffic, but still trying to make sure I wasn't entering dangerous space.

Officer Safety is primary, even when the idea is a farce.

More cops are killed in traffic stops than in any other activity.

We can hover our hand near the gun on our hips, or we can have our hand on them directly, ready to draw, but if we're taken out by a semi, it doesn't matter what we're holding...it's the bucket and the deposit in the dirt for us.

That's what happened to a friend's husband. She was a cop in the city, he was a State Trooper. I remember when they were married, how happy she was. I remember her pregnancy...how happy she was. She was a good Sergeant and in charge of our Reserve unit. I graduated college, she was one of my references, I was hired, and after I'd left the Job, by a few years, I saw it on the news. A semi driver hit a State Trooper who was standing by a car at a traffic stop. The Trooper was killed. My friend...devastated. Their son...without their father.

It THRILLED me to see the new law in Minnesota requiring drivers to change lanes when they see an emergency vehicle on the side of the road. Yet, I realized tonight, that when rainglare comes into play, the law doesn't matter...no one wants to change lanes. They are willing to slow down, but suddenly the wild card driver that kills cops becomes more real to everyone, and no one wants to give way...everyone is just trying to survive.

And so all I could do was pray, because even I couldn't change lanes to give enough room, and when I did, the idiot without regard for anyone came flying out of nowhere.

Tonight...

Earlier this evening I called a friend about something, and we hadn't spoken in awhile. She knew about my discernment and made a comment. But she doesn't know what's happened. She said, "I hear you've been discerning something...."

I responded, "Not anymore. Not so much. Not ever." I paused, then said, "I'm in a black hole."

I found myself near tears. I've been trying not to think about it. To be content with where I am. Which is exactly where I started: nowhere. I was surprised at the tears that nearly came, and the frustration mounting to the surface. To realize Hope is really not part of my vocabulary any more, and hasn't been for a long time.

My friend was surprised, and said, "Well, we're all trying to find our way." Yes, true, but as I pointed out to her...SHE knew she was supposed to be married...and was living that. She has a foundation.

I'm just floating. Blinded. Driving in the rainglare. Standing in it, trying to survive.

RAINGLARE

It never stops raining. I can't see through all the glare, through all the mist, and all the darkness. Are there lights? Of course, that's what causes the glare. It's not good light. It's blinding, disconcerting, and because it's glare, it's also false.

How long have I been driving through glare, using the glare as guiding light?

I feel like I'm still on the side of the road, doing what I have to do, turning my back to do so, just waiting for that semi to come out of nowhere to run me down.

That's the nature of discernment. Everyone discerning their Vocation has to stand at that roadside, focusing on something else, trusting they'll survive, but knowing that everything depends on it. Vocation IS eternity in the sense that it is what brings us there. We're just trying to find the RIGHT road.

But a few of us wander for a very long time. 40 years isn't unheard of. Maybe more.

And we should expect to be trampled, to be run over by everyone else, because, after all, we're in their way...even when we're not. We should expect to be splashed, to be yelled at, to be given bad directions by people who aren't even FROM the venue within which we are seeking. That is the life of a traveller.

That's what discernment is; trying to find the road to our destination in spite of all the glare, in spite of all the rain that causes the glare. We're trying to get through the false signals, figure out the source of light from the mere reflections, making our way with the proper speed through the signals, moving with the traffic but not passing our own proper place.

Keep in mind: a Vocation is only the road...not the destination. It's the road we need to LEAD us to the destination, that destination being Eternal Life.

What IS our proper place?

Good question.

The Present. Where we are right now, in this moment. If we need to move over to accommodate some one else, we do so. If we need to dodge to avoid someone reckless, we do so. If we have to brake, we do so. And if we are totally blinded by the rain and by the glare, we stop and get our bearings, for to do otherwise is folly and may cause us to be lost.

Or maybe we DO need to be the one standing at the side of the road, with someone else, putting everything on the line. After all...it's ALL about sacrifice. We never know when we'll be called to offer our lives.

Just ask the Saints....

Spiritual Warfare

2009-10-27T10:20:00.005-06:00

It's easy, when the sun is shining, to look at Jesus and say we will be faithful. It's easy, when the sun is shining, to look upon our Crucified Lord, and the Blessed Sacrament, there as we kneel comfortably at the Consecration, and say we will follow Him everywhere. It's easy to SAY we are willing to offer ourselves so completely, so sacrificially...at least, when nothing is being demanded of us.

But it's different in the darkest hours of the night, when we are alone, when we have awakened from a nightmare and find that the nightmare is perhaps only beginning. It's a different story when we are there, in that darkness, where the shadows have teeth and even the light of the flickering vigil candle isn't enough, for it seems to be guttering. There, in that nighttime abandonment it's easy to forget the promises made in comfort and sunlight.

When we are assailed by doubts, tormented by fears, and unable to face them, when the terrors of the night encroach upon our sleep and refuse to release us back to the blessed repose we so deeply need, and God seems so far away, it's easy to forget we OFFERED to take on suffering, and that spiritual warfare comes part and parcel with the territory.

It is in those moments, or hours, or days or weeks or years, when the Shadow of the Cross falls over us that we most want to flee back into the sunlight where we could find comfort. Yet we know we should go directly to the Cross and cling to it, taking refuge under the shadow of His wings and, oh, the irony! The irony of this flight, for it is ONLY because of the light of Christ that we can discern the shadow of the Cross from the shadows that gnash at us, seeking the destruction of our souls!

There is the folly and the glory of the Cross, once again, for we know we MUST pass through that shadow if we are ever able to enter into that eternal light. And still, we struggle, we scream, we want to flee, but...to whom can we go? And to what corner of the earth can we flee from the love of Christ?

When I am in the midst of such a struggle, I say to Jesus through my own folly, "Lord, I thought I could do this but I was wrong, let me go! I don't like this game and I don't want to play it any more!"

But Jesus is patient, and He is kind, but always, always firm in his chastizement. He bids me look at him, bleeding upon the Cross. "This isn't a game."

No, not a game. Salvation isn't a game or a sport or a frivolous pursuit.

When we do battle in those nightmarish hours of the night, or any time of the day, that is when our faith becomes tangible. Are we continuing to claim our love for Jesus when suddenly it's OUR blood falling upon the ground? When we experience some kind of abandonment, or the doubts and fears overwhelm us, and maybe temptations threaten, do we enter into prayer or do we give in? That is not to say that we don't experience sadness or fear or doubt, but in those times, do we give up on God completely or do we, in some way, continue to cling to His hand, reaching out for Him even if it "feels" like He's not there?

That's the battleground. That's where we are conformed to Christ, and it's not meant to be comfortable.

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the Heavenly Host, cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits that prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.