Airy Persiflage

Somebody's Bright Idea

2010-01-04T00:03:00.000-08:00

When I was in Australia, I wrote an entry called "Why Didn't We Think of That?" It was about Australian things that I thought were very clever.

One was a two-button flush mechanism which only used a little water for most things, but for heavy duty stuff, flushed a lot more water.

Then there was the 3-pronged plug, which I think about often around here. When Peggy first arrived here she was amazed at how unsafe she felt our plugs were. Every time I do something here where the plug slips out of the socket, I think about how tightly they fit into the socket in Australia and how it can't fall out. The socket itself can also be turned off and on, which is an additional safety feature.

Then there was money...most paper money in other countries which is either colored or different sized or in some other way made to easily tell which currency you have. People who come here are confused that all our paper currency looks the same, unless you recognize the people printed on them. (In some countries, each denomination is a different SIZE, which helps blind people figure out what they have in their wallets).

Australia continues to provide me with material. One of the things that arrived in my Christmas parcel from Australia was a cutting board. But not just ANY cutting board. Check this out.

It opens flat for chopping, but when you've finished chopping your onions or whatever, the sides fold up and it becomes a handy funnel that easily transfers your chopped food to a pot. As someone who constantly drops bits and pieces of food on the floor when trying to carry them to a pot, I am amazed that nobody thought of this before. Good on ya, Aussies!

But then I found a nice American invention. I went to buy a new broom the other day. We also needed a dustpan, since the one I've been using for the past year has a crack in it. They only had one kind. This one:

It's fantastic. You can easily sweep up all the dust singlehandedly. The pan doesn't move because you step on the bottom of it, and there are no leftover bits when you're finished. I wonder if the inventor was Australian.

Now if someone could put a little strip of velcro on the collar of a snuggy, my life might be complete.

(Oh God...I'm one year closer to death and I'm getting excited about things like dustpans. Groan. Just shoot me!)

XXX

2010-01-03T00:02:00.000-08:00

I didn't remember that we were Facebook friends until a photo of him popped up in my live news feed today. And was it from his news feed, or from someone else's?

I clicked on his photo and his page popped right up, so at some point either I friended him or he friended me.

But it brought back such a wave of emotion.

He was in grammar school with our kids and he was the school bully. I can't remember the number of times that one or the other of our kids came home crying because they had been threatened by him. I don't remember there being serious beating, but everybody, it seemed, was afraid of him and he often brought them to tears.

I felt so helpless. I don't remember if I reported the incidents to the school or not, but probably not because I felt it might make things worse. He lived in the neighborhood. I may have talked with his mother, but I don't remember. But I always cringed when his name came up or when I saw him. How does a little kid turn into such a bully...and how could I protect my kids?

It was Christmas night many, many years ago when the doorbell rang and he stood there, looking frantic. His father was beating up his mother and he wanted us to help by calling the police.

"Tell him it's XXX," he said. "They know me."

Sadder words have never been spoken. It explained a lot.

I don't remember much else about that night except how gentle my father was with him. I don't remember him ever being that gentle, that kind, that loving with anyone. Certainly not with me, not with my sister. But he took XXX in his arms and he just spoke gently to him and calmed him down. Made him feel safe in a way I never experienced from him myself. I don't think I ever realized before that night how much he missed having a son.

The police must have come and the boy returned home. I don't think we ever spoke again. He never again appeared at our door in the middle of the night. But he never bullied our kids again either.

I don't really think about him much, except when I see his brother around town. I wouldn't recognize the brother except he's been in a wheelchair all his life and he has always wheeled himself everywhere. He must have the strongest upper body of anybody.

But I didn't know whatever happened to XXX until I saw his pictures today.

When I showed them to Walt he said that the thing he remembered most was being outside, working in the yard when the now-grown boy was driving by and stopped. He got out of his car and apologized to Walt for not attending David's funeral.

"I was in jail," he said.

I'm thinking about him today and I'm feeling sad. Sad for the scared little boy who needed us to call the police for him, for the bully who must have learned how to be a bully by watching the things that went on in his own home. For the young man who has had run-ins with the law, and for the polite man who felt sad at missing the funeral of the little boy he used to bully.

Life is strange. And in thinking about him I realize the good that is behind the mean face that some people present to the world, the good that must be hidden deep inside everyone, the potential that gets buried when a little kid sees only ugliness in his world.

In some respects it makes me feel guilty for never having taken on the job of helping to turn the life of some of these kids around. Maybe that's why I foster dogs. I look at Polly today, this scared little thing of skin and bones. What cruelty has she known in her life? And as she nestles into my lap and gives a sigh, I hope that as she settles in here she will begin to see life as a more positive place and leave here a stronger dog who is ready to join a forever family and live a happily ever after.

Does XXX have a happily ever after? His facebook photos show a smiling man with his arms around a smiling wife. I hope he has finally found happiness.

Sweet Polly

2010-01-02T00:34:00.000-08:00

The day didn't go quite as planned. The plan was to take Dexter to meet his new family around 1 p.m., but I had a note from Ashley that they had postponed the big transfer for a week, so he's here, now, until the 9th.

But she asked if I could still pick up another dog.

So at 1, I drove over to Petco. I told her reminded me of a drug drop or something. It was a grey, drizzly day and there was a group of people huddled around a car in a quiet part of the parking lot. Only instead of passing around contriband, Ashley was passing out puppies. The SPCA received 4 chihuahuas, a Lhasa Apso, and 3 pit bull puppies today, so they are desperate for homes.

I'm not sure if Polly is named after Polly Pirette, who plays the quirky Abby in NCIS or Underdog's girlfriend, Sweet Polly Purebred, but Polly she shall be. Dexter, it turns out, does not really play well with others. I sat in the recliner with the two of them in my lap for the afternoon, hoping to give Polly a good start on feeling comfortable here. Dexter spent a lot of time barking at her, each time getting a tap on the nose with a "NO!" Eventually both fell asleep--and I did too--and we all slept very comfortably for an hour or so.

They both needed medicine when they woke up, and I found that peanut butter is a great incentive, not only to take your medicine, but to be around a new dog.

It's still an uneasy truce, at best, but at least Dexter isn't barking at her all the time. He may enjoy having her here because she's very skinny and Ashley says "whatever she wants to eat, give it to her." Dexter get some of the benefit of that!

We had a lovely New Years Eve at the home of someone from the now-defunct Davis Comic Opera Company. We go to this party every year and it's just perfect for us, low key and lots of fun. There is a little champagne, a lot of hors hors d'oeuvres (stuffed mushrooms to make a meal off of!), and then two kinds of home made soup (vegetarian and non-vegetarian), bread, salad, and four different kinds of desserts.

We sit around and play "the name game" until midnight. Before dinner, everyone takes slips of paper and writes down the name of anybody you can think of, from the obscure to the obvious (Paul Potts--the Susan Boyle of his year on Britain's Got Talent--to Mickey Mouse). All the slips get put in a bowl and then we divide into teams and the idea is to get your team to guess as many correct names as possible in about 20 seconds. There's lots of laughter and I just love it. (My clue for Lou Gherig, "they named a disease after him," seemed to be the big laugh of the night.)

At midnight we watch as they prop Dick Clark up for another year and then after a toast to the new year, we are all out the door and in our cars by 12:20 at the latest.

I love all these people and see far too little of them throughout the year, so this is a much anticipated and much enjoyed gathering each year. You can tell how much I enjoy it, because I never bring a camera with me. I didn't even have my cell phone with me last night. I just enjoyed the moment and didn't worry about taking pictures to post later.

Free Association

2010-01-01T00:46:00.001-08:00

Why do I keep forgetting about Skype? Tom bought me a webcam before Bri was born and we've done Skype calls a couple of times, but I never think of logging on unless he has called to set up a call.

Today I thought I would just log into Skype and see if anybody I knew was around. Imagine my delight to find my friend Lynn, in Houston, connected!

We talked for about half an hour and I got to meet her new dog, Minnie, make arrangements to see her in a couple of weeks for her birthday party in Ventura, and wish her a Happy New Year.

Now I'm all jazzed about Skype again, so if you want to add basykes, I might just be around for a chat sometime.

Though I listed the events of the "ten days of Christmas" the other day, There was actually an eleventh day of Christmas. Ashley dropped by to do a skin scraping on Dexter (no more sign of demodex, thank goodness). But she also brought some nicely wrapped packages, one of which was an ice cream maker and the other two ice cream recipe boooks! I've been wanting an ice cream maker for several years (just what I need, right? It's a good thing Walt bought me a camp chair for fat people!). I'm very excited about the opportunity to experiment.

Today I started looking through the books and discovered that they recommend chilling ingredients for up to 6 hours. Also, I didn't have "ice cream" ingredients and Walt had the car. I'm an "instant gratification" kinda person and so I started looking at "ices." I found a recipe for Coconut Ice, for which I had all the ingredients (coconut milk, sugar, lemon and rum) and so I whipped up a batch. I only had enough for half a recipe, and it was getting hard by 15 minutes (of the 25 I had set), so I removed it and tried it. Delicious. Now I'm all jazzed about ice cream, ices, frozen yogurt, gelato and anything else I can think of to make in this machine. I suspect that the bowl will rest in the freezer permanently, unless it's being used!

Thanks again, Ashley!

I may also have received another nice gift, accidentally. I support Broadway Cares, a group of theatre folks who raise money for AIDS. I saw that they were selling a Christmas CD, music made by the cast of various Broadway musicals. I loved it and so I decided to order the 2008 CD as well. Only when the CD arrived, it wasn't 2008, it was another copy of 2009. I contacted the organization and the guy I was corresponding with said he would send out a copy of 2008 and a return label so I could send back 2009. In the meantime, I decided to give 2009 to Jeri, so I told him I would just keep 2009 and asked him to charge my credit card for the 2008 CD, which he had, according to him, already sent.

When I returned from Santa Barbara, there was a HUGE, heavy package for me from Equity Fights AIDS. When I opened it up, this is what was inside

It's a lovely music box/water globe which commemorates all of the shows playing on Broadway in 2008. It's six inches tall and 3-1/2 lbs. According to their web site, it's $45. I immediately wrote to the guy I'd written to before. I explained what happened and asked how much he had charged my credit card and what he wanted me to do with the snow globe. When there was no reply, I checked and found out he had only charged me $20, and his e-mail says he was having a CD sent, so the screw-up was somewhere in their shipping department. Since the thing was packed so tightly I had to destroy the box to open it, so if I don't hear back from my friend, I'll just keep it as a gift from Broadway Cares, and maybe later in the year I'll send them a $20 donation.

Out with the old...in with the new.

There is good news for Dexter. He has a new home. I'm to take him to Petco tomorrow, having packed up his meds and his shampoo, and turn him over to his new family.

But the SPCA is getting in four new chihuahuas, a Lhasa apso and some pit bull puppies. We will probably be taking at least one of the chihuahuas. God forbid I should go into the next decade without a little rat dog at my heels.

Wrapping Up 2009

2009-12-31T00:37:00.000-08:00

I did this questionnaire the last three years, and it's nice to start making this a tradition, to help me look back on the previous year.

1. Was 2009 a good year for you?

As years go, 2009 was a pretty good year. No major tragedies (or minor ones either), and lots of high points

2. What was your favorite moment(s) of the year?

Definitely my trip to France and Italy with Jeri. Getting to spend two weeks with her, and going with the other women in the Pinata group was very special.

Also, being in New York for the opening of Jim Brochu's play Zero Hour and getting to attend the opening night party at Sardis was really a thrill.

I also was so full of emotion watching Obama's inauguration. No matter what kind of a president he turns out to be, the inauguration and all the feelings that went along with it will always be high point in my memory.

3. What was your least favorite moment(s) of the year?

A tossup between realizing I'd have to climb down 250-300 stairs in order to catch a boat in Italy, or having to race a mile in blazing heat after a day of dragging myself around Florence.

4. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

Visit Italy (I'd visited Paris briefly--one day--several years ago).

5. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't make New Years resolutions, so I never have to confess how quickly I broke them!

6. Where were you when 2009 began?

For the past 4-5 years we have gone to a small party attended by members of the former Davis Comic Opera Company. It's low key. We have home made soup, home made bread, fabulous desserts, play "the name game" and are home in bed by 12:30 a.m. because we're all getting so old.

7. Who were you with?

About a dozen (or less) people from the Davis Comic Opera Company.

8. Where will you be when 2009 ends?

Back at the same party.

9. Who will you be with when 2009 ends?

With all the same DCOC people, probably our best friends in Davis.

10. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My cousin Kathy's daughter gave birth to Brandon and my cousin Peach's grandson became a daddy as well.

11. Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?

One of the My Fair Lady puppies didn't make it and that was very sad, but there were no deaths of any humans close to me in 2009.

12. Who did you miss?

The same people I always miss: I miss our kids, David and Paul. I miss friends at a distance, like Peggy, Diane, Melody, Olivia and Lynn. And I miss the camaraderie of female friends who live close but who are busy about their own lives and whom I rarely see: Barb, Marsha, Rosemarie.

13. Who was the best new person you met in 2009?

A woman named Sherri, who was on our France/Italy trip. I now read her journal regularly. Actually all of the people who went on that trip were delightful and fun to get to know.

14. What was your favorite month of 2009?

I guess June, the month we left on our trip.

15. Did you travel outside of the US in 2009?

Yes indeedy. To France, Monaco and Italy with Jeri and a bunch of other folks.

16. How many different states did you travel to in 2009?

Just New York, where we went in November for the opening of Zero Hour.

17. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Personally, I can't think of anything. Globally, more peace and less war.

18. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

September 5, the day of my mother's 90th birthday party. She was as excited as a little kid and there was such a great turnout. I was so very happy that we had the chance, for the first time, to blend her "other" family (the kids of her second husband) with our family. Ned was a great MC and the kids put together a wonderful song that even included parts for The Cousins.

19. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I survived Florence. I actually survived the whole trip. It was more grueling for me than I thought it was going to be, but I didn't give up (most of the time).

20. What was your biggest failure?

I am, if nothing else, consistent in my failures -- house still not clean (though better now that Walt has taken over doing so much of it), and weight still not under control.

21. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing beyond the "preexisting conditions." And I got my cataract fixed!

22. What was the best thing you bought?

Registration to a conference of NAPP (National Association of Photoshop Professionals). This was my third year to attend and while most of the stuff is much more complicated than anything I'll ever do, I always come away so inspired by the possibilities of PhotoShop.

23. Whose behavior merited celebration?

All the wonderful people who run the Yolo County SPCA. I look at the masses of dogs and cats that we have at Petco each week and I know that we are just one little foster family out of dozens. All the women who are in charge should be canonized.

24. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

People who run puppy mills and anybody who tortures an animal for fun or profit.

25. Where did most of your money go?

Like every year, to Amazon.com!

26. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Being at Jimmy's opening, the party at Sardi's and rubbing elbows with the likes of Theodore Bikel, Marge Champion, and the cast of the show we had seen the night before.

27. Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?

Not really. The only time I really drink at all is at Cousins Day or if we go wine tasting (but even then I don't drink very much).

28. Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009?

Only legally prescribed ones: for diabetes, for high blood pressure, and for cholesterol. Also some vitamins.

29. Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?

If I did, it wasn't deliberate and I wasn't aware of it. And I'm sorry if I did!

30. Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?

I don't believe so.

32. What do you wish you'd done more of in 2009?

More socialization with female friends.

33. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Procrastination. It's my downfall every time. Give me a deadline and I wait until the very last possible moment to start. I always manage to get things done on time, but usually not without a lot of angst.

35. What was your favorite TV program(s)?

The Daily Show, Jeopardy, NCIS, Amazing Race, Monk, House, Glee, The Good Wife

36. What song will always remind you of 2009?

"I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables sung by Susan Boyle.

37. How many stage shows did you see in 2009?

The original question is "concerts" but since we see more stage shows, I decided to change it. Like last year, we saw about 60 stage shows in 2009

38. Did you have a favorite stage show in 2009?

Zero Hour, of course!

39. What was your greatest musical discovery?

The same as an awful lot of people's: Susan Boyle!

40. What was the best book you read?

"Dragonfly in Amber." I had read Diana Gabaldon's first book, "Outlander," several years ago, but had never gotten into the subsequent books. But I really ate up "Dragonfly in Amber" and then "Voyager" and am now working on the fourth book in the six-book series, "The Drums of Autumn."

41. What was your favorite film of this year?

I only saw five movies in the theatre this year: Milk, Slumdog Millionaire, Up, Julie and Julia, and The Princess and the Frog. They are all so different it's difficult to chose a "favorite" from among them, but probably Julie and Julia just because Meryl Streep was so amazing as Julia Child.

42. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 66 this year and it was a quiet day. I had flowers from all 3 kids (2 real, 1 virtual), I had lunch with a friend (who didn't know it was my birthday), I went to a meeting, had a Skype chat with Tom, Laurel and Bri and then out to dinner with Walt after the Skype conference.

43. What did you want and get?

An iTouch from my mother

44. What did you want and not get?

World peace and a clean house.

45. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

For Obama to have put some of his promises into reality by now. I am forever hopeful that he is going to turn out to be a great president, but I wish that things were moving a bit faster in several areas.

46. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Sweats, t-shirts, and big puffy slippers (Birkenstocks or loafers if I'm going out)

47. What kept you sane?

The internet, I guess, though there are probably those who would think that the internet makes me a little insane!

48. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Susan Boyle. Her initial appearance on Britain's Got Talent which went viral on the internet still moves me to tears. The recent Susan Boyle Story that I saw on TV just filled my heart with such joy for this woman who, at age 47, is finally achieving her dreams. I have a feeling her fame is going to be short-lived, but she seems to be the kind of person who will handle whichever way her future swings...and will have amazing memories.

49. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

I survived Florence; I can survive anything!

50. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"Everything is beautiful, in its own way."

Thursday Thirteen

2009-12-31T00:01:00.000-08:00

Thirteen snack foods I always crave

1. Peanuts
2. Potato Chips
3. Snickers bar
4. Anything milk chocolate
5. Ice cream
6. especially Haagen Dazs almond crunch bars
7. Croissants
8. Donuts
9. Shortbread
10. Peanutbutter (by the spoonful)
11. Cheetos (the crunchy kind)
12. Cheesecake
13. Anything with a flaky crust

The Ten Days of Christmas

2009-12-30T00:02:00.000-08:00

On the first day of Christmas, my angel gave to me a lovely party at the home of my boss, the collector of Peanuts Memorabilia.

Snoopy's house

On the second day of Christmas, my angel gave to me a low key gathering with my cousin, her husband, and other relatives. We missed Kathy, but we enjoyed tasty foods, and the most important gift--the gift of family.

Kathy's daughter Karen and her son Brandon

On the third day of Christmas my angel gave to me a lovely afternoon with my mother, a delicious roast beef dinner, the funny antics of a puppy, and the start of a great visit with Jeri.

On the fourth day of Christmas my angel gave me to me 8 hours in the car with Walt, Jeri and Dexter, lunch at the Burger Queen and part 1 of an old Michael Connelly audio book.

On the fifth day of Christmas my angel gave to me an evening with the Sykes family, with Tom, Laurel and Brianna, a honey-baked ham, lots of laughs, a few gifts, and a chance to hear Jeri play the violin.

On the sixth day of Christmas my angel gave to me a low key, laid back Christmas with Grandma Sykes, dinner at the assisted living facility, and lots of laughs around gifts in Grandma's apartment.

On the seventh day of Christmas my angel gave to me a chance to spend another evening with Bri and her parents.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my angel gave to me a bonus hour with Brianna, watching her play with her new toys before we headed north.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my angel gave to me a beautiful day of solitude. I didn't get dressed, didn't do anything but sit and catch up on things that had been recorded on the DVR while we were gone.

On the tenth day of Christmas my angel sent to me a package from Australia, with fun things like the tissues pictured below (she finally admits it's all about me for a change!) and the calendar she's made to raise money for the Kangaroo Rescue for which she works. It was Christmas all over again.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Christmas was finally over and I will be headed back to work, reviewing Xanadu.

Christmas Meme

2009-12-29T00:02:00.000-08:00

Explanation: I am catching up on missed sleep from the time in Santa Barbara and have pretty much done nothing but sleep and post photos from the week on Flickr (see link at left). So here's a Christmas meme, because I haven't done a meme in a long time, it seems.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
I've never gotten the hang of gift bags. Everybody else's always seem so retty and mine seem to...blah. But I do enjoy wrapping gifts. Lately, just paper with nothing else, but if I had to I can wrap a pretty good looking package

2. Real tree or artificial?
We've always had a real tree--at one time we chopped down our own. But at this stage in my life an artificial tree sounds pretty darn good.

3. When do you put up the tree?
For the past two years, we haven't. The joy went out of it when Paul and David died and all the other kids were living away from home anyway.

4. When do you take the tree down?
In the days when we did put up a tree, we always took it down on January 6, the feast of the Epiphany.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Love it! Don't usually buy it because it's so rich, but offered a cup, I will happily partake. I remember the first time I ever had it. My father made it from scratch. I have yet to find any egg nog as delicious as that one.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
It should come as no surprise that it was my first camera, a Brownie Box camera, which my parents gave me when I was 10 years old.

7. Hardest person to buy for?
Walt. It's a real challenge to buy him something he'll actually use. Even things I think he'd like--and which he may actually like--frequently ends up under his bed for years, unused. Though he has used the GSP that I got him last year.

8. Easiest person to buy for?
Peggy, for two reasons. First, I think I know what she likes and second, she lives 9,000 miles away so if she hides it under her bed or throws it out in the garbage the next morning, I live in blissful ignorance.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?
Yes. My father made the stable when I was little and I still use it. It has an angel that attaches to the top of it. She's holding a sign that says "Gloria in excelsis." When Jeri was little, she decided that the angel's name was Gloria.

10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards?
I used to mail out >200 cards a year; now I design a web page Christmas letter and e-mail people a link to it.

12. Favorite Christmas movie?
Miracle ond 34th Street, the original with Maureen O'Hara and Natalie Wood. That movie still makes me believe in the "real" Santa Claus.

13. When do you start shopping?
December 26. Seriously. I shop all year for Christmas gifts.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Very rarely, though I did it this year (now everybody will wonder if they got the recycled gift!)

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie.

16. Lights on the tree?
Of course, but I hate putting them on (because my mother always insisted on putting them on herself and was very particular about how they should be placed). That's why I like the idea of a pre-lighted artificial tree.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
"Silver Bells," the Bing Crosby version.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
I'm not thrilled at traveling at Christmas. I loved it when all the family came here and we had those big Christmas dinners. But with Bri living in Santa Barbara, I can see that traveling at Christmas is going to become the new norm.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
The last few years we had a tree we had a big gold Santa Claus on top. Of stars or angels, though, I prefer angels.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Again, I liked the kids all waking up and opening gifts Christmas morning, but now we do it in the evening. This year, on Christmas eve.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
The hype, the commercialism.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
My favorite ornament was an old one that had been my grandmother's. It was the face of a woman and it was my job to always put the "face ornament" on the tree. I was very sad when it broke, but preserved it in a memory box that I made for my parents one year.

24. What do you want for Christmas this year?
The same thing I want every year: world peace and a clean house.

25. Describe how you would celebrate the holidays if it was totally up to you and money was not a factor.
Pay for everybody to fly here and stay in a good hotel, if they want. Get one of those Brannigan's turkeys that The Psychiatrist used to give me each Christmas, have someone come in and clean the house for me so I don't go through Mom's Christmas Crisis, cook and serve dinner to everybody, have someone else clean up afterwards, and spend my evening watching the kids do an Egg Nog Gala again.

Home Sweet Home

2009-12-28T00:30:00.000-08:00

I know how Dexter felt. We got to my mother's house around 7 and he raced back and forth, back and forth, leaped in the air, chased his tail, jumped up on the couches, down onto the floor, into my lap, back onto the floor, up and down the hall, and then out to the kitchen to get some water.

Our day had started early, with Joe's big pot of oatmeal, then Alice Nan decided to call Nora, in Ireland, so we could all talk with her. There is no such thing as a brief chat with Nora. We all gathered around the telephone to get all the latest family news.

But Jeri and I had an important date with Ms. Brianna on the other side of town, so while the others continued to listen to Nora, Jeri and I waved goodbye and slipped out of the house, neatly avoiding "Hour Baur"

Brianna was happy to see Dexter again.

She cried when Mommy tried to get her to put on her new tutu and show us how she can dance, but she was very excited to show us how she can throw the pink football that she got from Santa.

(She also has a number of football terms in her vocabulary, like "touchdown," "first down," and a few others)

We got back in the car and drove as far as San Luis Obispo, where Dexter had a rest stop and Jeri and I got lunch at the Apple Farm, one of my favorite restaurants on the road to Santa Barbara.

As we drove up the road, we listened to music that some of Jeri's students had submitted for a competition. It was fun listening together and discovering that for most of the songs we both had the same idea. Some were very good, a couple were very bad and most were kind of middle of the road. But the time passed quickly.

In Gilroy we stopped for gas and another rest stop for everybody, then back on the road for the last leg. We took the back way into San Francisco, since I'd heard a radio report that there was a bad back-up to the Golden Gate Bridge. We made it all the way to my mother's with no bad traffic at all.

By the time we stopped at my mother's, we were all ready to get out of the damn car for awhile! It was just so funny watching Dexter's glee at realizing that he wouldn't have to stay in one place and that he didn't have to wear a leash in this house, as he did in Alice Nan's house after he peed once.

We stayed for dinner and then Dexter and I got back on the road yet again. This time Dexter had to ride in the dog crate, but after protesting for a few minutes, he just did what he'd been doing all day--went back to sleep.

It was hard to tell who was happier when we got here to Davis, Dexter for finally being free, free, FREE! or Sheila and Lizzie for having us home again. Lizzie just lay on my chest and kept sighing. She and Dexter also played together for a long time--I think they were even happy to see him back home again!

Tonight I will sleep back in my recliner and I intend to SLEEP and make up for all the sleep I missed this week.

It was really a very nice Christmas, but it's oh so nice to be home!

Channeling Paris

2009-12-27T00:02:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling like a fat Paris Hilton these days. I seem to constantly have a chihuahua either under my arm, on a leash, or in my lap.

Jeri has been doing great things with Dexter, training him to sit and stay. He's very good at sit, and sometimes good, sometimes not at "stay." But she has done in a couple of days what I have not done in three months, so my hat is off to her for what she has accomplished.

When there is no one to ride herd on him here in the house, he gets put outside, but it's really too cold for a partially hairless little dog to be out there too long, so soon I have him back on my lap again, which is fine when he's ready to settle down, but when he wants to be running around, it's not fun for either of us.

I suspect we will all be relieved when he is back in the car headed for Davis again! It sounded like a good idea at first to bring him, but it probably would have been better to have looked for a different foster home for the week.

In the afternoon. Walt, Jeri and I took Dexter over to visit with Grandma. It was her first opportunity to meet him and he seemed to get her seal of approval.

At about 4:30 we went downtown to "Harry's Plaza Cafe," a place far more elegant than its name would imply.

We were meeting Tom, Laurel and Bri there for dinner and Bri was in rare form, playing peek-a-boo with me behind Tom's beer glass...

...and posing for lots of pictures...

...and then checking to see how they turned out.

She says "Grandma" and "Grandpa" quite clearly now as well as things like "Auntie Nan, Uncle Phil, 'niners, touchdown, short stack" and "antidisestablishmentarianism" (sort of!).

As for the food, my lamb was to die for and I even broke down and had a Manhattan beforehand.

We have one more night to get through (I hope I sleep) and then tomorrow Jeri and I head home again, her to my mother's house and me back to my recliner, where I can finally let Dexter run free again.

It's really been a very nice trip down here, but next time we'll do it without dog!

Christmas in Whoville

2009-12-26T00:02:00.000-08:00

With our celebration with Bri already over, we had a very quiet, simple and lovely Christmas. It started with a family breakfast. Jeri helped finish cooking Joe's "green eggs and ham" while Walt fried last night's mashed potatoes.

We all gathered around the breakfast for a leisurely breakfast--even Dexter.

Everybody else went to Mass at the Santa Barbara Mission. I opted to stay at home and take a nap, which I sorely needed, since I'd been awake much of the night before, coughing. It was a good decision!

Around 4, after Jeri, Walt and Joe had gone on a walk, we went over to Maravilla to spend Christmas with Walt's mother. In retrospect, it was like spending Christmas in Whoville after the Grinch has made off with all the goodies, when all the townspeople discover that the true meaning of Christmas doesn't come with expensive gifts.

We had about an hour to visit with Alice before going to the dining room for dinner. Then Alice Nan got some lipstick on her, Jeri brushed her hair, we got her in the wheelchair and headed for dinner.

There were so many of us, they gave us the private room that we have always referred to as the "mafia room" because it's usually occupied by a group of women who look like Mafia wives. But tonight it was all ours.

It was a four-course extravaganza which started with "coconut crusted shrimp satay with mango salsa," followed by (for me) lobster bisque, Chateaubriand with pepper sauce...

...and ending with something called "Dark Chocolate Ecstasy Cake."

We went back to Alice's apartment and shared gifts. With the economy in the shape it is and how it has affected everyone, there were no flashy gifts. Instead everyone had used his or her imagination to give something inexpensive, but meaningful. Jeri had chosen wonderful cards for everyone, including one that played a Christmas song when you opened it, perfect for a grandmother who can't see.

Alice Nan had bought a taste of Santa Barbara, getting local food items--salad dressing, wine, cookies, and a jam that looked suspiciously not from Santa Barbara. For her mother there was a little plate with a simple design on it to use when she eats her afternoon cheese.

The fun was in the opening and discovering how the giver had chosen to handle a low cost gift. The fun was in the giving, the opening, and the laughter that accompanied it.

Old, familiar family stories were repeated and laughed about. I revealed a hitherto hidden talent nobody knew I had -- I'm pretty good at identifying what's inside the chocolate covering on a Sees candy, a skill Jeri is very indignant I have been hiding all these years (passing along such knowledge could have saved her from biting into not one but TWO coconut candies she thought were something else).

To prove my skill, I successfully identified a Sees candy with a chocolate filling for Norm. Everyone was very impressed.

I thought that surely there must be an iPhone app for identifying candies by the designs on the top of each type, but this appears not to be the case...if anybody ever develops one, let me know!

We spent an hour or so just sitting in the tiny room talking, laughing, and having a good time...and proving that holidays are about getting together with people you love and enjoying their company. That is enough "gift" for anyone.

Jeri and I left to come home and feed Dexter. Walt, his brother and sister waited until the attendant has gotten their mother ready for bed, then they sat with her, said some prayers together, talked about what a nice afternoon it had been, and told her good night.

This has been a very nice Christmas, both nights.

God Bless Us, Every One

2009-12-25T00:26:00.001-08:00

As I write this, parents and children all over the world are busy tracking Santa's flight on NORAD. For us, however, Christmas is now a memory...but a nice one it is too.

Alice Nan and Joe went off to work in the morning. Walt and I set up Archie and Edith computers and vegetated for a few hours.

Walt and Jeri went off to Maravilla to visit grandma. Walt and I decided to give my cough one more day before inflicting it on his mother, but when they came home, we went to the store and then home to wait for Norm, Tom, Laurel and the star of the show, Bri, to arrive.

Bri's hair has grown a lot since I last saw her and my surprise was how curly it has become.

She was kind of afraid of Dexter, so we put him outside for awhile.

When we let him back in, he seemed to sense he shouldn't jump on her, so they made friends...and then it got to where she wanted to hug him all the time, so I put him in the crate to protect him. I think he was relieved because we didn't hear a peep out of him the whole night!

This may be my favorite picture of her of the night. Laurel wanted her to wear the headband that went with the dress, but Bri insisted on putting it on all by herself.

Dinner (honey baked ham) was delicious and there is a story about the side dishes which will eventually be a video after I get home!

Bri was Santa's elf and passed out packages, helping everybody open his or her gift.

Jeri had bought Bri an old family favorite story book, "Caps for Sale" and Bri immediately plopped herself in Jeri's lap so she could read the book for her.

Bri finally started feeling sleepy, so it was time for jammies and then on to home.

I took Dexter out for a walk, hoping he'd poop (he did--as soon as we got back home again. Sigh.), Walt and his siblings went to Maravilla to say goodnight to grandma, and Jeri & Joe decided to try to make beautiful music together. Jeri took a class learning to play the violin and when I finally get this video posted, after I get home, everyone will have to remember that she is a professional musician on the saxophone, clarinet, and flute!

Let's just say she's not going to be on any concert stage with the violin, but it was pretty amazing what she can do. The violin itself belonged to Joe's great grandfather and it tickles him that someone can (sorta kinda) play it.

As I sit here in the darkened room (Walt's brother Norm is sleeping on the floor just a few feet from where I am), not a creature is stirring, not even Dexter. I am about to go let visions of sugarplums dance in my head, even though for all intents and purposes, our Christmas has already taken place.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

The Night Before the Night Before

2009-12-24T00:02:00.000-08:00

As I write this it's the night before the night before Christmas and we are nestled in around Alice Nan & Joe's Christmas tree, eating Christmas cookies and trying to keep Dexter from stealing food.

It was a Dexter kinda day. First, Jeri and I took Dexter on a walk around the lagoon near my mother's house and he saw his first ducks.

When we got back to the house, there was a cat approaching. The cat took stock of this little pipsqueak on a leash and decided to torment him by settling in just out of reach.

It was time to pack up and head to Santa Barbara, so we said goodbye to my mother

...and we turned our sights toward Santa Barbara.

Dexter was so good on the ride down. He alternated between sleeping in my lap or sleeping in Jeri's.

And when we stopped for lunch at the Burger Queen, he very nicely peed for us.

Jeri has been working on getting him to sit and stay and he's actually learned very quickly. He sits on demand unless the ground is cold. He had been sitting so quickly and so willingly all day until we got to the Burger Queen. I finally decided it was because he didn't want to sit on cold concrete, so I got a towel out of the car and put it down and he sat right down. I guess if you have a hairless butt, sitting on cold concrete is not something you want to do!

So anyway we're here, Walt and Jeri have gone to visit Grandma Sykes, we've had a lovely spaghetti dinner and are sitting around chatting and will soon all go to sleep. Let's see how Dexter sleeps in this house.

So far he's been a delight to bring, even if I do live in fear of his soiling Alice & Joe's new light tan carpet!

Thursday Thirteen

2009-12-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Thoughts about Christmas

1. I miss the sound of little kids waking up to sneak in to check out the Christmas tree.
2. I miss having any of our kids around at Christmas at all.
3. I loved the Egg Nog galas
4. Christmas isn't Christmas until Bing Crosby has sung "White Christmas"
5. Why don't more people send e-Christmas letters?
6. Having an excuse to buy gifts is terrific
7. I feel guilty that there is so little "Religion" in my Christmas thoughts
8. I do love looking at all the houses decorated in lights
9. Another excuse to make pumpkin pie
10. I loved those years when we squeezed 24 people into our tiny family room and shared Christmas with so many people from around the world.
11. There is nothing quite like Christmas carols played on a kazoo (fortunately)
12. I don't like putting up a tree for just Walt and me
13. I like decorating; I hate un-decorating

My Christmas Miracle

2009-12-23T00:02:00.000-08:00

At 5:30 a.m., I felt so awful, I decided that I was going to stay home. I also felt I was up for the day, since I'd slept so long. But it just sounded so good to crawl back under the quilt for awhile, so I did and amazingly slept 3 more hours and woke up feeling 100% better. So I decided I was not as sick as I feared and I would join the family for Christmas after all. I decided it was a Christmas miracle.

With that decision having been made, Walt went off to Sacramento to get Jeri. She loaded up the car with all of our suitcases, the Christmas gifts, food, and Dexter paraphernalia and we were finally off, leaving Sheila and Lizzie behind.

Dexter rode the first half of the trip to my mother's in Jeri's lap, but then switched to my lap and finished the trip with his head buried in my arm.

We unloaded all the stuff here and in no time, Dexter was being spoiled rotten by my mother, because it's the thing she does best!

I had changed him into his Christmas outfit and he was very cute. I'm not sure it does the work of keeping him as warm as his sweater, but it was the only Christmas outfit left when I went shopping. He'll only wear it twice and then it will be donated to the SPCA dog clothes box.

I remembered to bring the fixing for brie en croute that I had forgotten to bring to the Cousins Christmas party and it was very tasty. Dexter was very interested and he and Jeri had a discussion about the difference between dog food and human food!

Jeri also decided to teach him how to sit and found him a very quick learner.

In no time at all he was literally eating out of her hand and sitting every time she looked at him!

We had a nice chicken dinner and then Jeri wanted to play 65, so we did. I won a game, my mother won a game and Jeri was the only person who won the boob.

When the game was over, there were fruit tarts that I had picked up at the bakery in the morning. I had felt so rotten last night I just couldn't bring myself to cook anything, but these were very tasty.

Christmas, Stage 1, was a big success! I am very thankful for my Christmas miracle!

Oh Dear

2009-12-22T00:02:00.000-08:00

In this Christmas of misadventure a new wrinkle has arisen and I'm not sure what is the right thing to do about it.

I don't know if I'm sick or not.

I've been coughing a lot and sneezing a lot (I usually cough and sneeze for allergies, but this seems excessive). The cough is a dry hacking, "nonproductive" cough that seems to sit between my throat and the upper part of my lungs. It's not a bad cough, but it's definitely a cough. I have a hint of chills--but it could just be that it's cold in here.

Walt's sister just got over an illness and doesn't need to be exposed, if I am sick.

Walt's mother was just released from the hospital and somebody as prone to pneumonia as she is certainly doesn't need to be exposed, if I'm sick.

And the very last thing I want to do is to give any sort of illness to Bri, Tom or Laurel. I would never forgive myself if I did that.

But I'm not sick enough to be really "sick." It could just be because Dexter kept me awake so much last night. It was one of those nights when I just wanted to sleep on the couch and instead of curling up inside my knees, as he always does, he insisted on draping his body over my hip, which meant that as he fell deeper asleep, he would gradually slide down until he fell on his head on the floor. I'd pick him up and put him behind my knees again and pretty soon he was climbing up to my hip once more. I couldn't convince him to sleep in any other position, so we finally moved to the recliner, which my body really didn't want to sleep in. I did eventually fall asleep, but perhaps the late night activity just wore me down.

Our annual order of oranges that we have been buying from a local choir for the past 20 years or so arrived two days ago and I've been od'ing on vitamin C as a result. And drinking lots of fluids. I also took a long nap today.

Jeri and I were going to go out shopping for boots, her Christmas present from us, but I decided not to go wandering around downtown this afternoon.

The only thing we actually did was to drive out to the cemetery and leave a little Christmas tree on the boys' grave.

This whatever-it-is is the sort of thing that will either be gone tomorrow or be a bit worse and if it's a bit worse, I know from experience that it will probably be two weeks or more before I'm completely over it.

The problem is that we need to leave tomorrow. The plan is to drive to my mother's for a Christmas dinner with her and from there to Santa Barbara the next morning. The plan is to be there until the 27th. At that time Walt will decide if he's going to stay down to be with his mother for a bit longer or come home with us.

If I don't go, Jeri will have to drive to Davis, so I can get the car back. Her plan was to have me drop her off at my mother's house so they could have a visit and then spend her last day with her friends in Oakland.

I guess I'm just going to have to count on the angels of Christmas to make this thing go away. I would hate to miss Christmas with the family, but I would hate worse being Typhoid Mary and leave Santa Barbara riddled with my germs.

In the meantime I'm going to try to get a lot of sleep tonight, keep downing the Vitamin C and fluids and just hope that whatever this is will have run its course by morning.

Jeri stayed here for dinner and then Walt took her to Ned's for the night. I made a ham casserole and Dexter was very interested. I call this photo "Delusions of Grandeur"!

I'm convinced that he's convinced he can actually reach the food on the counter.

Hold the good thought. I don't want to sit home eating leftover ham casserole for Christmas while everybody else is playing with Brianna.

If I actually do go off with the family, I don't know where or when I will have internet access, so postings might be spotty for the next few days--or I might luck out and have internet access all the way.

Or I might just be sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.

Driving Miss Millie

2009-12-21T00:44:00.001-08:00

It was a very long day and I'm about to sink into what I hope will be a blissfull slumber.

It started around 5:30 a.m. when I was wide awake and watched the Sex and the City movie, which I had never seen before. It was OK, but I wasn't swept away

At around 10 a.m. I drove Walt to Ned & Marta's house, the plan being to pick up Jeri, take them to downtown Sacramento, where they were going to see The Nutcracker today, then drive out to Peach & Bob's to get my mother and drive her home.

I drove to Ned & Marta's but when I got there, everyone was disappointed that I hadn't brought Grandma, so I drove out to Peach & Bob's then and picked her up and brought her back to Ned & Marta's. We visited a bit and then I took Walt and Jeri to the Community Center and then headed for San Rafael.

ASIDE: I notice that my mother has much more difficulty remembering things the farther she is from home. It's not an Alzheimers type of memory loss, just a 90-years-old short-term memory, but it's difficult for her to remember who is going where or what we are going to do when we get there sometimes and I find myself answering the same questions 2, 3, 4, 5 or more times in a short period of time. It makes me realize that I am starting the same kind of memory loss and it shows me what I have to look forward to (the up side being that you don't KNOW that you don't remember because...well...you don't remember not remembering!)

We stopped en route to run a couple of errands, including having a big Mexican burrito for lunch. The last about 20 minutes of the drive, I was seriously fighting sleep, so when I got to my mother's I literally collapsed on the couch and slept for about an hour, until a phone call from Bob, checking to see if she had made it home all right, woke me up.

It was dusk and I wanted to drive as much as I could back to Davis before it got completely dark, so I got on the road. It was about 6:30 when I got here. Jeri and Walt had taken the bus home from Sacramento and they were ready for Family Movie Night.

Every year when Jeri comes home at Christmas, we try to pick a movie and go together to see it. This year we chose The Princess and the Frog, which was a much better movie than I expected. Loved the New Orleans feel to what was essentially a broad re-working of The Wizard of Oz, with a love interest thrown in. But really, really good.

After the movie, we tried to find a place to eat, but there are very few restaurants open in Davis at 9:30 on Sunday night, so we finally ended up at Stave's pizza, the sign to which said it was open until 10. We each had a salad and an individual pizza and brought home enough leftovers for breakfast and lunch tomorrow. We were the last customers to leave the place.

I got home in time to watch the end of Survivor, which I had DVRd. The ending was pretty much as I had anticipated and I was happy with the outcome. I was also happy that I could zip through all the boring parts and just get to the finale in less than 2 hours!

Now Dexter is barking and barking and barking and letting me know that he is tired of my fooling around on the computer and he wants me to bring him his lap right NOW so he can sleep.

I'm glad I don't have to drive anywhere tomorrow.

Who Invited the Grinch?

2009-12-20T00:02:00.000-08:00

Well, there has been a weird green guy popping up this week, trying to horn in on the festivity, but we are mushing forward anyway and keeping him out as best we can.

I think the first hint of his nefarious intentions came when Walt woke up to e-mail from his sister that their mother was in the hospital again with pneumonia and a fever. "Tee hee hee," giggled the Grinch, only slinking away when the doctor says that it's minor, that it was probably a UTI, and that she can probably go home tomorrow or the next day.

Next Tom called to say that Laurel's step-father had had a heart attack, had bypass surgery, and was doing OK, but that they didn't want to leave Laurel's mother alone on Christmas, so they would be spending Christmas with her instead of us. But, with a swift kick at the cackling green monster, he promises that they will spend Christmas eve with us so we will get to see Bri at least that day, if not the two days we had hoped. And he promises that she's really a lot of fun these days, so I'm looking forward to seeing her. (Rumor has it that she has asked Santa for a football.)

We have not decorated around here -- no point, since we aren't entertaining and the kids won't be here -- so we were looking forward to going to my boss' annual Christmas party. You never have to remember his address. You just go to the right street and keep driving until you see this:

This is mild compared to what it's like inside, with all of his Peanuts memorabilia, the Peanuts tree, etc. I was amazed that he'd finished it all because by the time of the party he was only 3 days out of bed after a 3 week bout of Swine Flu that was so bad he cracked a rib coughing (really!). But he did. There were many fewer people than usual, but it was nice because I never get a chance to talk to Derrick at these things, and we had a nice chat.

The Grinch managed to score points before the party, though, when Walt came home from the store and found that his bike had been stolen. It was my bike, actually. My $400 bike with all the upgrades on it. It was exactly one year to the day that his last bike was stolen. But I chose to look on the bright side and realize that this was nature's way of telling me that in addition to the bum knee and the fear of riding a bike again, I could now officially put an end to my bike riding days--because I don't have a bike any more! Not gonna get me down, Grinch!

I actually slept last night and woke up in time to get my mother from San Rafael and bring her here to get Walt and then to Peach's for the big Cousins Party. Walt and my mother packed the car, while I got all of the ingredients assembled for the brie en croute I was going to make when we got there. We headed off for Sacramento.

A few blocks from Peach and Bob's house, someone rear-ended us. Both cars pulled off to assess damage and we decided there was no damage to either car (the young girl driving the car that hit us was very relieved) and we went on our way, snubbing our noses at the Grinch again.

When we got to Peach's, Walt asked where all the brie stuff was. I had left the bag of ingredients on the stove. I'm VERY angry with myself because it is puff pastry and who knows how it's going to be if I try to use it now. Also, this was supposed to be the party that we hosted and I flaked on everyone because the house isn't ready yet, so I felt guilty that not only did Peach have to host the party, but now I wasn't even contributing any food. The Grinch giggled some more.

But as it turned out, Peach had a "Tastefully Simple" party the night before, kind of a Tupperware party for food, and she had tons of hors d'oeuvres, mulled cider, and soup (and even plates, spoons and cups!) left over, so we didn't even notice that I had not brought anything to contribute to the party.

Besides, we expected a house full of relatives and there were only 8 of us, including Peach and Bob. Kathy couldn't come (but her husband did), Kathy's sister never came down to the Sacramento area, Peach's sister and husband couldn't come either. So it was kind of a non-party, but we had fun anyway. The star was 4+ month old Brandon, Kathy's grandson.

We played the usual gift game, even though there were so few of us.

(Peach passed out numbers)

(It truly was a Snuggie Christmas. The green box and the box the same size and shape to the right of it were both Snuggies.)

(Walt got a pink one!)

It was all very low key, but we enjoyed ourselves and were home just as the skies were starting to turn dark.

We have locked the door securely to keep the Grinch out for the rest of the holiday, or at least for as long as possible!

Fah who for-aze!
Dah who dor-aze!
Welcome Christmas,
Come this way!

Who's On First?

2009-12-19T00:02:00.000-08:00

It's really not that complicated.

Peach is holding the Cousins Day Christmas party tomorrow night (because we didn't get our floor put in on time and the house isn't ready for company). My mother is coming. I am driving to San Rafael tomorrow morning to pick her up, stopping by here on the way home to get Walt, driving to Peach's, having the party, going back the next morning to pick her up again and taking her back to San Rafael. However, making these arrangements ends up sounding like an Abbott and Costello routine.

The people involved are my mother (age 90), my cousin (age 70), Walt (age almost 70) and me, the kid, at 66. Alzheimers runs in my family.

First there is the gift business. In previous years, we have each brought white elephant gifts and much hilarity ensued as each person opened the gift. This year we are to buy a "good" gift for a man or a woman and we'll still play the same gift game. $15 minimum, I was told. I wrote to Peach "$15 MINIUMUM"? I knew lots of people in the family are having financial problems and that seemed rather steep. "It's XMAS!" she replied.

I asked Peach if my mother knows, because I know that she especially is hurting financially this year.

I called my mother to make sure she knew. Well, it's the first she's heard of it, she tells me. But she'll pick up something for $15.

I get an e-mail back from Peach: "Yep, your mom knows, she was the one that got so upset last year cause she got a flag holder and said that she had no need for it and didn't like doing that, so we thought it would be better if we got real presents instead of white elephant gifts."

In the meantime, Jeri is flying in tonight and spending the night at Ned's. She and Walt are going to see "The Nutcracker" in Sacramento Sunday morning, but we only have one car and I need the car to take my mother home. The plan is to take Walt to Ned's house, pick up Jeri then drive back to Peach's house, pick up my mother and drive her back to San Rafael.

First my mother and I discuss this plan and she talks about how she hates to put me out by having me do all that driving. I tell her I don't mind. I give her the option of bowing out if she doesn't want to come, but she insists she does. We say goodbye and she says "so, I'll see you Christmas morning, then." Uh. No. I remind her that I will see her on Saturday, not on Christmas morning.

Then I tell Peach the story and say Monday instead of Saturday and Peach is confused because they won't even be home on Monday.

Then I talk to Walt about the driving arrangements for Monday and he says "you're picking your mother up at Peach's?" (incredulously), though we have discussed this several times.

By this time I'm laughing hysterically because in all the conversations, voice-to-voice or in e-mail, that I've had with anybody involved in these arrangements, NOBODY has agreed on the arrangements--or remembered the arrangements.

And to prove the point, when I sat down to write this entry, 30 minutes after Walt and I discussed the arrangements for Monday, I couldn't remember what we had discussed and when I asked him what it was, he couldn't remember either.

We may have to make arrangements to move into "the home" sooner than anticipated.

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Schuyler's Monster

2009-12-18T00:02:00.000-08:00

18 December 2009

Here's a book project I came across (and I'm always all about book projects!). It's officially called "A-Z Wednesday," but I think any day is a good day to review a book, so what the heck. If you want to participate, wait until next Wednesday and then do it!

To join, here's all you have to do: Go to your stack of books and find one whose title starts with the letter of the week.

Post:
1) a photo of the book
2) title and synopsis
3) link (Amazon, Barnes and Noble etc.)
4) Go to Reading at the Beach and leave your link in the comments.

Be sure to visit other participants to see what book they have posted and leave them a comment. (We all love comments, don't we?) Who knows? You may find your next "favorite" book.

THIS WEEKS LETTER IS: S

Schuyler's Monster
A Father's Jurney with his Wordless Daughter

Amazon Link (hard cover) * Barnes & Noble Link (soft cover)

What better book to pick for the letter "S." The review I posted in February, 2008, when the book came out reads:

A lot of people have been waiting for this book for a long time, and thank goodness it was well worth the wait. Many of us first encountered Schuyler either just before or shortly after her birth, through reading Rob's web site, then called "Darn Tootin'" (now called "My Beloved Monster and Me"). We watched as Rob and Julie struggled with growing awareness that Schuyler's slowness to talk was more than just slowness. We cried with them as they learned of her "monster," Congenital Bilateral Perisylvian Syndrome (CBPS), we cheered as Schuyler got and began to master her "big box o'words," a machine which gives her a voice, and surpassed all predictions for what she would be able to accomplish.

Now Rob has put the whole story in book form, a well-written saga which is as easy to follow as a novel, with (for those who are coming cold to Schuyler's story) all the elements of suspense that you would find in a mystery story. Through it all you watch two ordinary individuals interact with an extraordinary child and learn how the experience changes all of them.

No one looking at Schuyler can fail to fall in love with this beautiful little girl who prefers King Kong to Barbie, who loves dinosaurs and butterflies. It is unfortunate that we don't know how the story ends, as this is a work in progress. But the story thus far is a gripping one and I suspect we'll all be around for the sequel, whenever that comes.

Walt woke up to e-mail from his sister that their mother is back in the hospital with a fever and trouble breathing again. She is prone to pneumonia which, at 96 years of age, is always a concern. Please send all your prayers, vibes, good thoughts, and Christmas wishes toward Santa Barbara. We will be going there on the 23rd to spend Christmas with her and with the rest of the family. Jeri arrives in California tomorrow and will be with us as well.

Do You Lick the Bowl?

2009-12-17T22:53:00.001-08:00

The Pitter Patter of Little Feet

2009-12-17T00:02:00.000-08:00

Over the years, we have had a long and infamous, if not quite illustrious, history with ants. Things aren’t quite as bad now as they were many years ago when they were everywhere and we simply could not get rid of them. We’ve never figured out the appeal. They don’t seem to be meat eating or sweet eating. Sometimes they come in from the rain and form a circle around the drain in the sink, like animals at a watering hole. It seems like such a lot of effort to climb walls, squeeze under window frames, and walk all the way into the kitchen just to get at the water that they have in abundance outside. But then I never understood ant logic.

They are quite single minded in their determination to occupy certain parts of this house. They have been known, when Walt was somehow successful in blocking entry to the downstairs, to crawl all the way up to the second story, through the bathroom window, down through the air duct, down the wall, and back into that same circle around the drain hole in the sink. We must have some pretty appealing water! Either that or ants don’t have a lot to do during the day and so getting into our sink gives them some purpose to life. Kind of the ant equivalent of lounging around watching TV, I guess.

When our ant infestation was at its peak, I actually worked hard at keeping the kitchen very clean. I could go to bed at night, leaving an absolutely spotless counter with not a single thing on it, and in the morning it would be covered with ants. Not an army of ants, but several large scouting parties, just kind of milling around, looking for something...anything...to be exciting enough to call in the troops.

We had a physician from Chile living with us at that time and he pointed out once that he could, if he chose, make an ant sandwich by putting mayonnaise on a piece of bread and dropping it, mayo side down, onto the counter.

In those years I reached kind of an uneasy truce with the ants. When I realized I couldn’t wipe them out entirely, I let them have certain parts of the kitchen, as long as they left other parts alone. Guests didn’t understand, of course, but it worked for the ants and me. We each had our private areas and we left the other areas alone. In truth, I’m not sure if the ants realized we had this truce going, but it worked for me. “Cross this line and die, ant,” I’d say. And if they did, I was ruthless. But if they stayed in their own area, I let them live.

I actually became quite fascinated with ants during those days. They are remarkable creatures. You have to admire beings that work that hard. I’d watch a tiny ant hauling a crumb of bread as big as he was, marveling at the strength and determination to carry this prize back home to be admired by the others. I wonder if the others gathered around, patted him on the back and said things like “great catch, George!” I can picture his little antennae wiggling in pride.

I remember one ant trying to carry a heavy crumb one time. He was walking along the very edge of the counter dragging this huge piece when it slipped over the side. I could see him struggling to pull is back. He stuck with it for a long time. I decided that if he managed to get it back up to where he could carry it again, I’d let him live. I watched the struggle for quite a long time, but eventually the weight of the piece proved to be too much, and it and the ant fell to the ground. I stepped on him. “Die, loser!”

I also wondered what they said to each other as they passed. The counter would look like rush hour in downtown Manhattan, with a determined line of ants marching in one direction and an equally determined line moving in the other. As they pass, they stop to chat a bit and then move on. “Hey, Charlie! How are things back at the nest? The Queen still in a bad mood?” How do they alert the rest of the group when there are goodies to be had. Drop a piece of hamburger on the stove and if there’s a single ant nearby, soon the piece will be covered with ants. Do they tap their little feet and send a message back home, like jungle drums? Do they find a buddy to send back with a message (”I’ll stay here and guard it; you go get the rest of the guys...”) or do they send out some high pitched whistle, audible only to ants, which mobilizes the troops for an all-out assault?

There’s a lot of socialization among ants. Squash an ant on a counter and see what happens. Someone stumbles across the dead ant. Forward motion stops while the dead body is explored. Then there appears to be a call to the others, and more come to check out the fallen comrade. I envision a herd of elephants in miniature, all mourning the loss of one of its own. Next thing you know, the dead body is scooped up and carried off. I have visions of little ant funerals down at the nest. Someone pointed out it was probably more like ant feasting down at the nest, but let me have my illusions.

In fact, I found the very best way to get rid of ants. It’s not a fancy new poison or some expensive exterminator. Anybody can do it. You find a big crowd of ants and you squash a bunch of them, in different parts of the crowd. Then go to bed. In the morning, the squashed ants will all have been carried off and the other ants will be gone as well. They’ll either be mourning or feasting, but whatever, it works for keeping them gone for a couple of days. Party time in the nest!

We found an ant stronghold one time. Walt was watering down the patio and saw a bunch of ants pouring out of a crack in the concrete. We discovered that they had made a home right under the patio (which perhaps explained why we were having such a problem at that time). They all came racing out, each carrying eggs with them. I almost felt sorry for them. We had destroyed the next generation.

There are people who come into our house and freak out of they see a line of ants. “A” line of ants no longer bothers me, unless it covers something I need to use. We’ve gotten used to having them around. Some folks have pet cats, we have pet ants. Oh we also have ant stakes posted at major entrance points and normally we don’t have much of a problem. But when the weather turns cold they seem to come in for warmth. Who am I to deny them a little comfort before I toss some poison in their general direction?

I have ambivalent feelings about ants. I guess you could say the whole subject makes me feel a bit...antsy.

Thursday Thirteen

2009-12-17T00:01:00.000-08:00

Thirteen TV shows I miss

1. The West Wing
2. Northern Exposure
3. Picket Fences
4. The Dick Van Dyke Show
5. The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson
6. The Galloping Gourmet
7. Joyce Chen
8. The Mike Douglas Show
9. Your Show of Shows
10. Alfred Hitchcock Presents
11. Mad About You
12. Laugh-In
13. Marcus Welby, MD

Napoleon

2009-12-16T00:02:00.000-08:00

Our house has been captured by a furry descendant of the original "Little Dictator."

It's a good thing it looks like Dexter has been adopted because he's getting entirely too big for his little ~~britches~~ uh...sweater.

Someone who has other chihuahuas wants to adopt him, but Ashley wants to make sure that first he has gone a month without recurrence of his Demodex and that the family make an appointment with their vet to discuss his (hopefully cured) skin condition. She wants to wait until after Christmas before releasing him. But it's a good thing his departure is in the foreseeable future.

He has become too comfortable here and he is starting to rule the roost. Lizzie and Sheila are better at ignoring him than I am, I fear.

He's got the schedule--his schedule--down to a science and when things don't go according to his timetable, he lets you know. He'll sleep a long time in the cage where he's made a bed for himself, but when he's had enough of sleeping alone and wants a lap he stands outside my office door and barks. And barks. And barks. I almost always get up, sit in the recliner, and put him in my lap for awhile.

A spoonful of sugar may help the medicine go down for kids, but with Dexter (as with the other dogs) it's peanutbutter. I let him have a bit of peanut butter after he takes his liquid medicine so whenever I'm in the kitchen he starts barking and leaping at the counter (which is pretty silly since it would take a miracle for him to make it halfway up the cabinet, let alone all the way to the counter). So that's when I give him his medicine. Ivermectin with a peanut butter chaser.

He has to check the dishwasher for stray bits of food.

It's when I climb into the recliner that he really takes over. I am not permitted to sit in the recliner alone. He must be with me. First he tries to look cute.

Then he begins to get more insistent.

Finally I lift him up to the recliner, grabbing his body with my legs.

As soon as he gets into my lap he immediately grabs my hand with his long nails and I still haven't figured out exactly what he's trying to do, but we have a long disagreement about the pain factor, as he seems to be trying to dig a hole in my hand.

Then he begins licking the fabric of my pants or my shirt or whatever he can get hold of until he finally tires of that, buries his head in my shirt and goes to sleep.

If I get up to do something frivolous like going to the bathroom or loading the dishwasher, he burrows into my chair and woe to me if I challenge him to get my place back.

It's a good thing he's cute.

We're taking him to Santa Barbara with us, rather than try to find him a short-term foster home. He's so little he shouldn't be a problem (and since he prefers to be plastered to my body than anywhere else, it should be easy to keep track of him!). I'm going to buy him a Christmas sweater to wear. I don't like dressing dogs, but with his fur not completely grown in, he gets very cold and he really need to wear a sweater--so he might as well wear a holiday one.

"Yeah, I'm in charge--wanna make something of it?"

Curling Up with a Good Book

2009-12-15T00:02:00.000-08:00

In 2004, I realized that I really wasn't reading nearly as much as I used to, so I started keeping a database of the books I'd read and the number of pages I read throughout the year. I was shocked at the end of the year to realize I'd only read seventeen books, or 5,888 pages. I was the person who used to read a book or two a week. This was just a little more than one a month.

I determined to do better, but in 2005 I only read thirteen books. I am almost ashamed to admit that. 5,313 pages.

I'm not sure what caused the increase in 2006, other than perhaps being determined to concentrate on reading. I more than doubled 2005's number, twenty-seven books, 8,465 pages.

2007 logged in with a whopping (relatively speaking) thirty-six books (11,191 pages), due in very large part to my mother's accident and the fact that I spent a month at her house and had a lot of time to read, since she doesn't watch much TV and internet access was horrible.

I back-slid a bit in 2008, only twenty-six books (8,414 pages), but made up for it this year finishing thirty-two books (>15,000 pages) and I will probably finish at least one more before the end of the year.

There were two huge changes at the end of 2007 and all of 2008 that made increasing my reading possible. Reading had become a struggle, with my cataract problem so first, I had a few books on tape that I could listen to in the car while driving to and from Santa Barbara. It may be cheating to rank listening to a book with reading a book, but it's still following the plot or theme of a book from beginning to end, so in my mind it counts. Nine of the books I finished this year were books on tape.

But the biggest help to reading more has been the kindle app for my iTouch. I scoffed when Amazon came out with the Kindle. I thought it was a HUGE waste of money and calculated how many actual books I could buy with the $300 they were charging for the Kindle at that time. But then I discovered the kindle app for the iTouch. It was free and used the same books that the $300 Kindle did. The books cost no more than $9, many cost less and many were free. It was slightly more complicated to download to your iTouch (for me, with no in-house wifi, it involved going somewhere to a wifi spot and downloading...I got lots of coffee at Mishka's coffee shop until I realized all I needed to do was pass by the store and download at the same time!), but certainly not difficult.

The biggest difference I found using the Kindle app was that I could adjust the type size! These old eyes don't see as well as they used to. I just finished Diana Gabaldon's "Voyager" last night. It's over 1,000 pages long and I just happened to have the actual book on my bookshelf. But when I went to look at the book, the typeface was so tiny I had to strain to read it and I know there was no way I would have finished the book--or even started it. It also was a huge book to carry around to read while standing in line at the post office. Yet it was a great book and I sat in the family room yesterday glued to it until I finished (sometime after midnight), sitting at my desk with the thing plugged in because the battery had run low and my battery recharger (which Tom bought for me for my Europe trip) wasn't charged.

I don't know when I stopped reading a lot. I was the kid who always had her nose in a book, who never took less than 6 books out of the library at any one time and devoured them.

The thing about reading, to my warped mind, is that if you're just sitting and reading somehow it seems more slothful than if I'm just sitting at the computer with the TV on in the background. Multi-tasking, even if it's all non-productive, is somehow OK where single-tasking, when the single task is reading, isn't. There is no logic to it.

But nobody is likely to come into my office and say "so you're still at the computer, huh?" or "Did you start another game of Scrabble?" whereas if I'm just sitting in a chair reading those questions can be asked of reading.

The nice thing about audio books is that they do allow for multi-tasking. For example, I got my desk cleaned today while listening to the end of "The Copper Bracelet," a job I had been trying to get around to doing for weeks.

As for the book itself....well, if I hadn't needed to clean off my desk, I might not have finished it. And that would not have been a bad thing. Not exactly the best thing I'd finished this year!