Episcopal Princess

Christian Brokeback Mountain

2008-07-17T18:30:00.001-04:00

So what would Brokeback Mountain look like if it were a conservative Christian film? I don't say what would it look like if it were a Christian film because I think on many levels it is. Here is a lovely video that gives us an interesting idea and a great laugh.

Changes on the Screen

2008-07-17T01:16:00.003-04:00

If you ever visit you might have noticed that something has changed. I am experimenting with changing the appearance of my blog. Honestly I am bored with it an entirely sick of the pink look. I don't even like the color so why have I been torturing myself with it. I still haven't figured out a good way to work my favorite color into the layout though, so if you have any brilliant ideas of how to work orange in I am willing to play with options.

Feel free to share your thoughts, or just point and laugh.

More Eddie Izzard

2008-07-17T01:00:00.004-04:00

For today another Eddie Izzard video from You Tube. Now his take on religion, and of course the Anglican Church gets a good giggle. It is one of the things that I love about Anglicanism we laugh. As a mentor, Howard Anderson, frequently says "We should say, Let Us Play, as often as we say Let us Pray." Oh and he totally and completely nails the way that Anglicans sing hymns. It is hysterical.

Oh yes and I think he gets the Mormons correct too. I suppose this means that half of my family comes from Mars.

Cake or Death

2008-07-16T16:54:00.002-04:00

I do love humor about the Anglican Church and no more so then when it is right on. Ever wondered what the Inquisition would have looked like if it had been Anglican? Eddie Izzard has some ideas...

Churchy Fun

2008-07-14T19:58:00.002-04:00

My sister sent this to me a while ago. I think it is a great way to have fun.

Telling Beads: What's Wrong With This Picture?

2008-07-03T23:20:00.000-04:00

Telling Beads: What's Wrong With This Picture?

Check out this post from Jeffri over at Telling Beads. He raises some rather interesting and valid points about the way that the church views baptismal ministry. We talk a great talk but have yet to walk the walk. So what is it going to take?

Last Saturday

2008-07-01T12:23:00.003-04:00

Rehearsal of the service. This was shortly after a bishop asked John Chane why he got to read when it said JC. It was pretty funny.

The FOCUS banner. So cool that this was carried in the procession.

D'O, Howie & Will some of my favorite people in DC.

All of us together. Yep, it was hot and I was at work at 6:40 am that morning. I was totally ready for a nap. Howie & Linda got in the truck with Will shortly after this and drove off.

Last Great Service-Updated

2008-06-29T20:06:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow is my last day as an employee of Washington National Cathedral. In some ways I wish that yesterday had been, because yesterday was one of those days of a great party that only Episcopalians can throw. Yesterday the National Cathedral hosted the Diocese of Maryland as they consecrated their new bishop, Eugene Sutton, who we now get to call The Rt. Rev. Eugene Sutton. Eugene until now has been a great co-worker and partner in ministry who is off to the land of the pointy hats. The Washington Post had a great article, it tries to capture the excitement and energy of the day but I don't think that words possible could. The Baltimore Sun has an even better article. It has quotations from Howard Anderson where he pretty much hits Eugene on the head. Although he leaves out his little problem with finding the right bathroom. Hey I am allowed a cryptic comment every now and then.

The Episcopal church has this amazing way of being able to celebrate in incredible ways. We do all the celebrations well through liturgy, regardless of whether they are baptism, consecration or funeral. I have had the opportunity to be a part of some amazing services at the Cathedral, the Consecration and Installation of Katharine Jefferts-Schori as the Presiding Bishop, the Consecration of Eugene Sutton as Bishop of Maryland, the Prayer for Peace concert, the Ford funeral, the Centennial celebration and an amazing Pentecost service, the services for the Church for the 21st Century conference and countless others.

Tomorrow I will finish cleaning out my office and throwing away files, give one more tour and say good-bye. I have no idea where I will be going but I am trusting that God is laying out a path for me to follow even if I don't know where it will lead. "All will be well. All will be well. All manner of things will be well."

Anglican Square Dance

2008-06-26T18:13:00.001-04:00

Star in Your Own JibJab!In honor of the GAFCON and upcoming Lambeth meetings I thought I should share with you this lovely bit of communion humor. Wouldn't life just be easier if we could all have a dance when having a tough time?

Vacation Bible School

2008-06-26T18:05:00.002-04:00

Ahh, summer. The time when many a Christian Formation Director is found in full on panic as VBS season sets in. For those of you who are a bit behind and haven't yet chosen your topic for this year might a recommend these choice selections which were recently rejected by Gospel Light:

10. Welcome to the Harem: A Week with Solomon's Wives.
9. Sailing the Mediterranean: Greek Cities NOT Visited by Paul.
8. Rockin' With the Royal Family: Idolatrous Kings of the Northern
Kingdom
7. Fabulous Bible Fashions: Garments of the High Priest
6. Holy Health! Understanding the Skin Diseases of Leviticus
5. The Mysterious Silent Years of Methuselah
4. Snackin' With the Saints: The Dietary Laws of Leviticus
3. Heavenly Hairstyles: From Samson to John the Baptist
2. Quiverful: How the Levitical Law Affected Israelite Population Growth
1. The Big House: Spend Time with the Saints who DID Time!
"The Door Magazine"

Frogs Legs Humor

2008-06-26T18:01:00.002-04:00

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issueson the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lapand said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince,until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however,and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't freakin think so.

Pope Jokes

2008-06-26T17:55:00.003-04:00

Okay, given my need for giggles these days I am going to post some more of the funnies that I have run across on my computer as I clear things out.

This one made me laugh for days.

And this is a rather different take on the Eucharist.

Xander

2008-06-25T19:34:00.003-04:00

I had to say good-bye to a friend of almost a decade yesterday, my dog Xander. I returned from a trip on Monday night to find a very unhappy and sick puppy. We rushed to the vet where they gave him fluids, pain meds and got him stable, then started tests. It took until yesterday morning to figure it all out, but it included kidney failure, liver failure and probably cancer although we didn't test far enough to determine that fully. While I could have treated the kidney failure with medicines and trips to the vet each week, it didn't seem like the best quality of life for Xander and the vet agreed with my decision. She recommended that we put him to sleep that day. I wanted to be there for it, but after talking with my mom she suggested that I might not want to do that. Mom had been there when she put our cats to sleep and said that it was very painful and now her last memory is of the light leaving their eyes.

Kesha and I have had a deal for a while that when it came time to put any of our animals to sleep we would be there for each other, but honestly I expected any of the animals but Xander to be first as he was the young one. So I called Kesh, rather hysterically and she agreed to go with me. We spent some time with Xander and he was obviously in horrible pain. They had given him some rather hefty pain meds before we got there and by the time we left he was entirely stoned. He even had a little stoned smile. It provided us with some rather great laughs as the tears streamed down our faces. Then the vet came to carry him back to the examination room promising to wait 15 minutes so that we could leave. It was hard not to run back into the room and tell her to stop, but that was what I would want, not what was best for Xander. My last memories of Xander are some great giggles and cuddling.

Good-bye dear friend. You had a good life and provided me with lots of love and laughter.

Matt, Liz and Follow Up

2008-06-18T23:37:00.003-04:00

Forgot to mention one thing. Another reason why I love this blog? They are Minnesotans. How can you not love Minnesotans? I know I am from Iowa but we love our fellow Midwesterners, particularly once Jesse Ventura was no longer governor and stopped making bad Iowa jokes.

Matt, Liz and Madeline

2008-06-18T19:52:00.003-04:00

For the past few months I have been reading this rather amazing blog, Matt, Liz and Madeline, which just pretty much knocks my socks off. It is written by a man (with a really attractive brother, just for the record) who has been through a rather unusual few months. Within 27 hours he became a father and a widower all at once. I have never met him and probably never will. Our lives are strangely close to each other in a 6 degrees of separation type of a way. I first read about him on my friend Sara's blog who doesn't actually know Matt either, but who knows of him through a friend. As I read his blog and alternately cried and laughed, and wanted to coo over his gorgeous daughter Madeline, I was amazed by the way in which he has been entirely open about the fact that his life is insane. I once told my friend Georgina that of course she was messed up, we all are and she should wave her freak flag high, it is just more honest. Well Matt waves his freak flag all over the place and it is so honest and real in a way that I wish we all were. Much more honest than pretending we have our shit together.

I began reading Matt's blog before the second memorial service for his wife, Liz, which took place in Minneapolis, where I think they are both from. Then while reading through my old friend Emilie's blog I discovered that she had been an old friend of Liz's as well. Emilie wrote a rather moving piece for Liz's memorial service. It gave me a perspective on Liz that was new and yet still from someone who loved her and whose life was different from having known Liz.

From the pictures I think that Liz's memorial service was in the same chapel that my cousin Molly was married in. The chapel is in the middle of a cemetery and is amazing, with all this tile art work inside and I think a crematorium in the basement (which thankfully wasn't working during my cousin's wedding). This speaks more to the unusual nature of my cousin's wedding than it does to Liz's service but provided for tons of great jokes at the wedding. I hope that there was as much laughter at Liz's service as there was the wedding.

Go check out the blog, and make sure you click on the google adds to drive some money Matt & Madeline's way. My options were rather fun inflatable party toys. Go read. It makes me feel better just to see it.

Iowa Flood Pics

2008-06-17T20:11:00.002-04:00

My cousin Erin sent these pics today of flooding Iowa City/Coralville. Even though I lived there for 12 years it took me a while to figure out where most of these pictures were taken. Clue, none of these are the river. Look for where the road might be.

Garrison Keillor on Episcopalians

2008-06-16T16:13:00.002-04:00

Not many people realize it but Garrison Keillor is an Episcopalian, living in Lutheran land. Here are a few choice words on Episcopalians adapted from an essay he wrote.

We make fun of Episcopalians for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like them. If you were to ask an audience in Des Moines, a relatively Episcopalianless place, to sing along on the chorus of "Michael Row the Boat Ashore," they will look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. But if you do this among Episcopalians, they'd smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! ....And down the road!

Many Episcopalians are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony, a talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person's rib cage. It's natural for Episcopalians to sing in harmony. We are too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling moment. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.

I do believe this, people: Episcopalians, who love to sing in four-part harmony are the sort of people you could call up when you're in deep distress. If you are dying, they will comfort you. If you are lonely, they'll talk to you. And if you are hungry, they'll give you tuna salad!

Episcopalians believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud. Episcopalians like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.

Episcopalians believe their rectors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.

Episcopalians usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins.

Episcopalians believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.

Episcopalians feel that applauding for their children's choirs will not make the kids too proud and conceited.

Episcopalians think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.

Episcopalians drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.

Episcopalians feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.

Episcopalians are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.

Episcopalians still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and Episcopalians believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.

And finally, you know you are a Episcopalian when:

It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service.

You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can.

Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee.

When you watch a Star Wars movie and they say, "May the Force be with you," and you respond, "and also with you."

And lastly, it takes ten minutes to say good-bye .

A New Look at the Trinity

2008-06-16T15:27:00.000-04:00

Departing Funnies

2008-06-16T15:20:00.002-04:00

I have spent much of today going through my e-mail archives trying to figure out what I need to save and what is really obsolete at this point. I have been saving all sorts of things that make me laugh though so I thought that I would begin to post the best ones here for giggles for others. I hope you enjoy them.

Iowa Waters

2008-06-13T23:29:00.002-04:00

For regularly updated information on the Ecumenical Relief Effort in Iowa, check out the Iowa Waters blog. It is sponsored by the Episcopal Diocese of Iowa. Right now it has information about the Episcopal churches in Iowa, which all seem to be above flood waters. I am rather amused by the humor shown at Grace Church in CR, which has managed to find laughter in the fact that they have always been rather "high church" and that seems to be keeping them above the flood waters.

The diocese has put together a Flood Relief fund. Donations can be made online at the diocesan website. The Diocese of Louisiana has been in touch with Christ Church Cedar Rapids to offer assistance through their "Rebuilding Program" and Episcopal Relief and Development has already offered an emergency grant. Bishop Scarfe has offered a pastoral letter as well.

While looking for prayers for flooding I ran across good ones from the Diocese of Oxford prepared for floods they experienced last summer. It is a diocese in a food production area of Great Britain, much like Iowa, so has some good ones for a "bread basket".

Iowa Flooding

2008-06-11T10:16:00.004-04:00

For the past several days I have found myself repeatedly checking the news from and on my home state of Iowa. There is incredible flooding in both my home town, Des Moines, and the town I lived in for 12 years, Iowa City. The flooding is on the scale of the floods of '93 and in some cases might be worse.

The floods of '93 changed the way that I looked at the world. I was minimally affected really. Lost water with everyone else for 12 days, but I do not remember losing power, although we could have. We flushed the toilets with water from the pool, and water we collected from the still falling rain. We had good bottled water because we generally got Crystal Clear delivered. I think we showered at my dad's office in West Des Moines several times, as a schedule had been set up for use. My sisters had been out of town but we had a foreign exchange student from France who was entirely confused by the whole affair. He generally spent the summers with his grandfather on his yacht in the Med, so this was really roughing it. It took him a week to figure out that no one had water. It didn't really faze him though because he used 3 gallons of bottled water to wash his very blond locks one day.

The levees in Des Moines broke on my 18th birthday. I remember we had decided to spend the day at the country club and by the end of the day couldn't really figure out how to get back across the river to our house. Every route that we tried was flooded. Eventually we left town entirely to drive around the outside and just barely made it through before they closed one more route.

The whole time just seemed like a bit of an adventure. I wasn't really responsible for making sure that my family was taken care of. I didn't have to boil much water when the water plant came back online and we couldn't drink the water. The whole time I was so proud to be an Iowan. I saw the way that people just dropped what they were doing and came together to help. People filled sandbags, and helped to get people out of flooded areas. They took in animals whose owners were living in shelters. They continued to find the humor in situations and laughed.

So now I am watching the pictures and video, and readings and hearing the stories, wishing that I could do something to help. I know really it is wishing that I could be there to share with them, that somehow my presence might help. I know that it really wouldn't much, that this is more about my need to be a part of that community, and the difficultly of worrying and watching from 1000 miles away. So I keep watching and more importantly praying. Praying for safety, sanity, laughter and less rain. It is the only thing that I can do right now, but that doesn't make it any less important.

FedEx Adventures

2008-06-09T10:52:00.003-04:00

This morning I tiptoed into my local FedEx/Kinko's which happens to be right next door. I tiptoed because I have exercised my new found assertiveness on them as one of the managers kept parking in my parking spot and I was a little bit afraid of getting the copy shop equivalent of a sneezer.

In the 15 minutes that I was in there, I was mistaken for an employee twice which would have been okay except for the fact that I was wearing this t-shirt from my favorite funny Des Moines t-shirt shop which said in big bold letters "Des Moines: Hell Yes." Do people really think that would be appropriate attire for an employee? I could help the first customer, he just was trying to figure out the copier (and may not have thought I was an employee just looked like I knew what I was doing). The second woman was totally confused and couldn't understand why I was incapable of answering her questions.

Xander's Crate

2008-06-08T21:59:00.004-04:00

Many of you who know me know that I have a dog named Xander (Alexander Nikolaevich but he only gets called that when he is in trouble) who has a bit of a bladder control problem. The problem is primarily that he doesn't like to wait even though he is capable of it. I used to think that he was stupid, then I realized that I just got a stubborn dog. Imagine that, stubborn human got a stubborn dog. I believe that is called karma. Because of this little problem I recently started to crate Xander again when I leave the house and when I go to bed. I know that Xander is smart because it took him all of five minutes to learn that the phrase "go to your house" means go and get in the crate and you will get affection and a cookie (Milkbone).

This afternoon I got home and Xander welcomed me at the door. I was a little surprised because I could have sworn that I put him in his crate when I left to go and meet friends. This is what I found.

The little devil managed to rip a hole in the mesh door covering and push his way out. So tomorrow I get to go to the pet store and get one of the metal ones. I might not be the alpha animal in the house, as that is Kes the cat, but I refuse to be outsmarted more than once in a week by the dog.

Congrats to Gene Robinson

2008-06-08T21:44:00.002-04:00

Check out this great clip of an interview with The Rev. Susan Russell who preached at the Eucharist which followed the civil blessing of The Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson and Mark Andrew on Friday. What a great way to celebrate a union of 20 years.

Keep Laughing

2008-06-06T15:32:00.002-04:00

A friend and former co-worker sent me this e-card recently from someecards.com. Of course it is a little tasteless but that is what makes it funny. Plus I wasn't actually fired. Regardless it is amusing.