Boingy Boingy Dot Com

New.

2009-08-02T22:41:00.002-06:00

This is where I'm going to do my blogging like activities from now on.

This site will be up for awhile until I decide how to archive the old stuff, or some of it. Or not. We'll see.

But read the new site! It'll be good, and easier for me to update a lot more often. And it's pretty. I recommend tumblr. One of those sites that suddenly makes the internet seem more fun again.

internets!

2009-06-02T09:46:00.004-06:00

Though lately I have spent a lot more time cleaning my apartment, making coffee for people, and watching movies with the boyfriend than I have internet-ing, here's what I've been doing when I'm here:

- Spending way too much time tracking the progress of my failing fantasy baseball team, particularly now that Matt Wieters has gotten the call up. I just discovered Daily Baseball Data, a site that has a stat history for every batter/hitter matchup for the next week. Rad!

- I have a new goal in life, which to to start packing delicious, cute, nutritious lunches for me and my boyfriend to take to work. I haven't actually started doing this yet. But while I think about it, I've been doing a ton of research on BENTO BOXES!: here, here, and here.

- I just became engaged in a pretty heated debate about interracial dating on John's always interesting blog.

- I have watched this weird video probably at least a dozen times in the last week. Why? I really don't know.

- WTF is up the cat with wings? Is it real? Why hasn't someone explained this to me? AHHHHHHH!

best. summer. ever.

2009-05-12T10:08:00.004-06:00

It's been a big, rough, real-life week in Burton-land for reasons I don't write about on the internets. But after yesterday --which included a Round Rock Express baseball game, mini-golf, an epic softball game attended by close to 50 people, grilled cheese, AND popcorn+beer at Donn's Depot -- I believe that my friends and family and myself can emerge from crisis to live what we strive to every year around this time: THE BEST SUMMER EVER! It's a double entendre, I know, and that makes it even better.

Here is a starter list of things to be happy about:

Shows at which I will probably be found with a High Life in hand
tomororow!: Her Space Holiday @ The Parish
monday 5/18: The Dears @ The Parish
wednesday 5/20: The Melvins @ Stubbs
thursday 5/21: Extra Golden & Ted Leo @ The Mohawk
wednesday 5/27: The Virgins @ Emo's
friday 6/5: Bonnie Prince Billy @ The Mohawk
monday 6/15: Camera Obscura @ Antones
friday 6/19: St Vincent @ The Mohawk
saturday 7/4: Explosions In The Sky & The Octopus Project @ Stubbs
sunday 7/5: Bill Callahan @ The Parish
thursday 7/9: Deer Tick @ Emo's
tuesday 8/4: M. Ward @ Antones

Some of the many movies we're going to see to cool down at the chilly Alamo Drafthouse with beers and pizza in hand
Public Enemies: Johnny Depp as John Dillinger. Enough said.
Terminator Salvation: I had absolutely no interest in the last Terminator movie but for some reason I am eager to see this one.
The Brothers Bloom: Mark Ruffalo + Adrian Brody together in a movie is enough for me, but on top of that it's directed by the guy who did Brick, which is one of my favorite movies ever.
The Hangover: The part in the preview where Mike Tyson is singing Peter Gabriel is too priceless for me to not see this.
Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince: Well, obvs.
More Than A Game: Well, obvs.
Paper Heart: So! Excited! I! Can't! Stand! It!
Lymelife: The return of Kieran Culkin! At last!
Away We Go: This preview makes me really happy.
Anvil: The Story Of Anvil: I have heard nothing but incredible things about this documentary.
Year One: It's like a Mel Brooks movie, but now, so Michael Cera gets to be in it.
Rodo Y Cursi: When we were talking about this movie last night, Mandy called Y Tu Mama Tambien a 'sexually confused teardrop' and I laughed so hard I snorted.
500 Days Of Summer: Appropriately titled and full of actors I adore.

Thomas Pynchon's new book, Inherent Vice, is released in August. Jeffrey Brown's new memoir/graphic novel, Funny Misshapen Body, comes out this summer too.

Any perfect summer will include lots and lots of this

and this

and this

The BookPeople cafe just installed a brand new Nuova Simonelli, which makes going to work six days a week kind of the best thing ever, and also means if you come visit me you'll get to drink top notch espresso pulled by your favorite lady. Yay!

As for baseball, I am anxiously awaiting Matt Wieters' june 1st (please!) call-up to the majors for 'personal' reasons. For my birthday, my boyfriend + my grandmother + I are going to go see our Houston Astros. For Brian's birthday, we want to go see the "greatest of all time" get his.

Look for Summer y Brian hand screenprinted t-shirts at the new Parts + Labour and on an etsy shop v. v. soon. You're going to wear your Ghost Bear t-shirt every day. I'm also going to try to do a cafe show of drawings and assemblages in July or August, and my mom and I are going to start selling vintage items + cute handmade accessories on etsy as well. The solution to the economy is obviously for you to buy things handmade from your friends, skipping the middle man. Obviously.

I am making it my personal mission to make sure a pinewood derby happens in Austin at some point this summer (Daniel Lievens' idea)... I'd also like to have a field day, a kickball tournament, a dominos tournament, and plenty of Texas Hold Em.

Oh my gosh, I'm getting so excited I can't write anymore. Let's all go ride bikes and eat fried avocado tacos and hit home runs and take naps and see Round Rock Express games and go swimming and go swimming again and wear shorts and ponytails and eat sno cones and "stay up all night and go to Ken's Donuts" and drive with the sunroof down and wear sundresses and draw pictures of each other and and and and and! Yay!

how to be a good customer.

2009-04-12T13:49:00.003-06:00

- Tipping is not optional when you're getting table service. It may be more so in a cafe, but if your barista is friendly and your drink tastes good, not tipping is stingy -- at best.

- Jokes about how your barista is raking in the dough because the little jar is full of singles aren't really funny. Chances are they're walking home with 20 bucks and trying to figure out how to buy groceries with that.

- Anyone who's ever had a 'service' job thinks you're a jerk if you don't tip, including your favorite cute barista/waiter/bartender.

- Throwing money on the counter / slamming down your credit card is rude. Just hand the girl/dude your money, alright?

- no you can't cut in line because you're "just" getting soda or coffee.

- making the amount of your 'total' credit card transaction an even dollar amount by tipping like 26 cents is unhelpful. sorry. i know you're trying.

- it's never, ever okay to not have enough money for what you're ordering, even if it's a coffee refill. your server does not want to 'loan' you a quarter. we're trying to get four so we can have a dollar more for our gas bill. it's your responsibility to pay for your stuff. c

- talking on your cell phone during your transaction is the rudest, crappiest, most disrespectful thing that you could possibly do to your server.

- walking up to a counter and saying a single word: "latte." "beer." "bagel." makes you sound like an asshole and is just going to lead to blank stares and half a dozen follow up questions. Try saying hello and asking for what you want in question form. You'll probably find a much friendlier face that way.

to be continued in illustrated children's fable form on some later date.

Twenty Famous People

2009-02-11T17:08:00.002-06:00

I posted this on Facebook last night in a sleepless daze and then added to it in comments later. As I said there, I hope this doesn't come across as shameless name-dropping. It's meant to be funny and self-effacing. None of these happened because I am cool or hip in any way. Actually, all of them are either 1. family-related, 2. work-related, or 3. I'm-a-huge-dork-related, or all of the above.

: : :

1. The first time Jonathan Safran Foer came to BookPeople, I was a nervous wreck. I had read and freaked out all over Everything Is Illuminated and recommended it to everyone I could. I was basically a literary groupie, except that I had a boyfriend and all so not really. Anyway, we had this 'literary happy hour' thing where people could pay extra to mingle with him with wine and cheese and stuff on the third floor. I got to hang out up there because of my employee status, and I brought a couple friends who were also fans, but I couldn't get up the nerve to go up to him and I kept circling and pacing like a crazy person. Then when I finally did, he made it easy by pointing at my Bright Eyes shirt immediately and saying they were one of his favorite bands. We talked about music for what felt like forever and I thought I would just die. Then he came back about a year later and remembered me by name, much to my delight and incredulous shock. This time I was his BP liason and I sat up on the fourth floor while he signed overstock. After the event, he invited anyone who wanted (and I mean anyone -- including customers) to Club DeVille and then offered me a ride there. When we got there, I almost didn't get in because I had lost my ID and I only had the paper thing they send you, and Jonathan Safran Foer helped convince them I was legit and let me in. This was before DeVille got so weird. Anyway, we sat outside. Chris Hughes was there, but he didn't work at BookPeople yet so we didn't know each other. Jonathan Safran Foer made me write bands I recommended (The Arcade Fire and Okkervil River, neither of which he had heard of at the time) inside his own copy of Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close. I was giddy and crazed. Later, he sent me a christmas card.

2. I've been face-to-face with Bill Clinton several dozen times. I was born in Hope, Arkansas and my dad was friends with Hillary soon after I was born, and later worked on the campaign and for the first year and a half in the White House. The funniest / weirdest Clinton story I have, though, happened when Hillary Clinton came to BookPeople. I was still relatively new at the time, I guess, or at least quieter about things than I am now, and leading up to the event I didn't really tell anyone about the family connection. I volunteered to work the event cause I thought it would be fun but it had been years and years since I'd seen the Clintons and I had gone from being a pre-adolescent to a sort-of grown-up in that time so I assumed she wouldn't remember me. She wouldn't have, but my dad had lunch with her (and several other people) that day and let her know that I worked at BookPeople. So whenever she was in the finishing up signing people's books and we were all kind milling around the 3rd floor events room she stands up and kind of yells "Where's Summer? I need to see Summer!" At which point I became so embarrassed and overwhelmed that when I hugged her I called her Hillary instead of Senator Clinton, which -- just for the record -- you Don't Do even if you're an old family friend. My dad lectured me about it forever later, and of course I had to deal with 90000000 questions from my coworkers, mostly the overambitious marketing director who wanted me to pass notes to the Clintons for him. Sigh.

3. When I was 20, I left my job and went with my two best friends to spend three weeks following Bright Eyes (read: Conor Oberst and 13 of his friends) around Texas and the west coast. By the second show, dudes from the band recognized us from being in the front row and dancing. By the time the tour was over, we'd ridden in the bus and hung out in hotel rooms watching Animal Planet. Nothing tawdry happened other than when we were walking back to our hotel in Eugene, OR and some guy thought we were hookers. All of this is something that I was really proud of at the time, really embarrassed about later, and that I have now come to terms with as something both kind of awesome and also incredibly nerdy. But here's the thing... We tried really, really, really hard not to be fangirls. Even though we were obviously doing the most obsessive possible thing with our summer, we hated and scorned the girls who screamed and cried over Conor, or slept with guys in the band and then wrote livejournals about it, or sang along too loud, or yelled requests. This may have all been very hypocritical, but it worked out for us really well because the people in the band didn't think we were nuts, and we didn't do anything we would have to truly regret later. We somehow managed to remain calm and collected when our shared idol was actually in our presence, sometimes to the point of ignoring him in favor of Casey-the-bass-player or our favorite Nick-the-keyboard-player (now of Tilly and the Wall and always being so super nice fame). We only interacted with Cocoburst a couple times over the course of the trip and every time we did we basically acted completely indifferent. Then in Seattle we were saying goodbye to our 'friends' and Mike Mogis told us to hold on for a minute. The next thing I knew there was a hand on my back and it was the tiny man himself. He hugged all of us and thanked us for following them around. The main thing I remember about it was that his voice seemed really tiny and childlike. I have no idea what any of us said in return. I think all of us were rendered pretty much useless. Despite show after show of feigning nonchalance, that moment was easily the most 'starstruck' I've ever been. Make fun of me starting now.

4. My first real paying job was for this company called Girl Games that made CD-Roms and, later, websites, for pre-teenage & teenage girls. I was their key to authenticity and I wrote pretty much all the content for their website, planetgirl,com, in my 'authentic' teenage girl voice. This was 1999 or 2000. We released a new version of the website and had a 'big' launch party in an empty storefront in this ghetto mall called Northcross that has an ice-skating rink. We had computer kiosks. I'd say approximately 40 girls showed up -- we were planning for 100s. But LaFace records had agreed to bring in this chick they had just signed to make a 'celebrity' appearance, signing giveaway copies of her debut single. It was Pink. ! She was bored since no one was there so she and I went ice skating together for awhile and she talked to me about her boyfriend. She was super nice and she told me she liked my shoes.

5. At SXSW one year, I went to go see Lou Barlow (from Dinosaur Jr.) and in between sets I went up to the bar and while I was waiting, Lou turned around and handed me a shot. We drank. I immediately told him I was a big fan in some kind of stupid giggly way and he walked off. Chance = blown.

6. At SXSW some other year, I sat next to Stephen Malkmus (from Pavement) at a BookPeople event. Every time I really think about the fact that this happened, my heart starts beating faster. Bonus: Mac (from Superchunk / Portastatic / Merge records) was there too. Le sigh!

7. At the second Clinton inauguration, I went with my dad to one of the bigger balls. All-4-One and Sheryl Crow were both playing. We didn't have backstage access but my dad felt that we should, so we snuck backstage together anyway. But the way we went was through some weird curtain business and as we passed through the fourth or fifth set of curtains we found ourselves smack in the middle of All-4-One's dressing room, where they were drinking liquor and playing poker. All we did was apologize and leave, with no time for outcry. My dad was fairly giddy by the time we ran into Sheryl Crow.

8. This story isn't directly mine but it makes me laugh: my dad met Cindy Crawford several time at the White House and, because he's hilarious, he had a picture of the two of them framed in his law office for years following. Some new guy at the firm was once in his office and asked him if she was his wife. !

9. I have lots and lots of Okkervil River stories, due to the awesome / ridiculous coincidence of them being from my town and also being my favorite band. But the best one is this: I was once asked by Will Sheff to indulge the director of a DVD being produced for the band in wanting to follow around a 'hardcore' OR fan around at a show at the Carousel Lounge. This was in 2006 -- after OR had 'taken off' comparatively speaking (the first time I was them was in a room with a capacity of approximately 45 people) but before they were doing things like playing David Letterman. I was flattered (Will Sheff called me! On the phone!) and agreed immediately. I thought I would do a quick interview at the gig and maybe be filmed some during the show. But before I knew what was happening, a cameraman showed up at the bookstore and filmed us from that moment until after the show (we had to stage a fake exit to stop the filming, and then come back to the club to hang out with our friends without the tail). For the record, this brief experience quelled any dalliance with reality television that I might ever entertain. Anyway, when we waiting in line, the cameraman asked me some questions. The conversation went like this:
Camera guy: So, how has Okkervil River changed your life?
Me: Um. Uh. It's. they've. um. brought better music to my life?
Camera guy: But, you know, what's the big deal? You're a huge fan, right? Have you come to Jesus or something?
Me [laughing, freaking out internally knowing full well that the joke I'm about to make is going to be on film forever for the subject to watch and knowing full well I'm about to make it anyway, because I have no self control whatsoever]: No, but I've, uh, 'come' to Will Sheff a few times!

10. When my dad worked in the White House I had a huge crush on George Stephanopoulos -- shutup, I was like 12 -- something that my dad apparently thought was okay to tell George all about, culminating in me actually being at my dad's office one day when he came in and my dad reminded him that I was the one who thought he looked like Tom Cruise. Worst. moment. of. my. life.

11. I was an extra in a movie that was filming in town just because Gael Garcia Bernal was in it and I had/have the hottest hots for that little guy. It was cool and he said hi to us (Michelle was with me, thank goodness) while buttoning his shirt and we freaked out a lot and that was that. But then a few days later, I was hanging out with Jeff and Wellington and we were at Spiderhouse, where we ran into Michelle and Lauren M., who sat down with us. This was fairly early on in my friendship with Jeff and Welly and I was pretty intent on impressing them by being funny, cool, and as mature as possible so they would keep wanting to be my friend. So when I looked up and saw that Gael Garcia Bernal was sitting a few tables away drinking coffee, I didn't make a big deal about it. I simply nudged Michelle and squeezed her leg under the table and tried to carry on as if it was no biggie. Wellington and Jeff didn't even really know who he was. We spent the rest of the coffee date trying really, really, really hard not to look / talk / freak out about it, which seems funny to me now because, I mean, seriously, I was trying that hard to impress Jeff and Wellington?

12. Not my story but I was there when it happened and Oh. Man. : Ted Danson came into the store and Rissa was working the registers and he was waiting in line behind this middle-aged woman who came up to Rissa's register and goes, loudly, "Is that Ted Danza?" to which Larissa responded quietly and coolly, "yes, I think that's Ted Danson," at which point the woman turned around and yelped "You're Ted Danza, aren't you? You are!," to which Ted Danson responded "Yes, yes I am."

13. I went to Comic-Con and I missed Sam Kieth's autograph signing but then I saw him eating lunch and I told him that he was my favorite comic book artist (at the time this was true) and he was really nice and I was really happy. Later on the same day, Judd Winick of Barry Ween fame (ah, who am I kidding, of 'The Real World: San Francisco' fame) told me he liked my Totoro pin. Comic-con was awesome! I am a huge nerd!!!

14. Danny Wallace, who wrote a couple books, including one called 'Yes Man' that the recent Jim Carrey movie was apparently based on, came to BookPeople once. I didn't read his books, although I've flipped through them and they seem funny and clever. But we had this life-sized cardboard cut-out of him in the store for the longest time and I had a weird obsession with it to the point that I had claimed it as my own once the event was over. Anyway, I couldn't work the event because I had a regular floor shift and we were short. So while he was speaking and signing on the second floor, I made everyone around me draw a portrait of Danny Wallace with their eyes closed (I was going through a phase) and I stapled them together and when he came downstairs to leave I gave the little makeshift book to him as a present. I thought, based on some combination of his pleasant visage, the seemingly light / optimistic tone of his books, and plain naivete, that he would be delighted. He wasn't. He was just, simply, weirded out.

15. I exchanged several emails with someone who I thought was the former child prostitute / drug addict turned author JT Leroy, who, as it now turns out, was a middle-aged woman posing as such. I still feel really weird about that and don't really fully accept that Leroy never existed, even though Ms Thang has already written a book all about her elaborate fakery.

16. My friend from adolescence, Dan, is the son of the author Denis Johnson. One time he came by the store and inquired about me. I wasn't there. He picked up a copy of one of his dad's book for some specific reason and when the GM, a good friend of mine as well, rang him up, he commented on the choice. "I love this book. Johnson is great." Dan nodded. "Yeah... um... he's my dad." Later, Bryan asked me if I really knew someone who was related to Denis Johnson. I could tell that he was sure that Dan had been making it up and had probably made that pretty clear at the time A few months later, I randomly ran into Dan at Kerbey Lane and he was like "OMG, I've been hoping to see you, hang on a second." and ran out to his car and came back with a signed copy of one of his dad's books personalized to Bryan. He'd been able to tell that B didn't believe him and he wanted to fix that. Bryan's face when I gave him the book = priceless.

17. Crispin Glover came into the store and i completely lost my shit. Who wouldn't?? Anyway, I kind of tried to follow him around because i'm a huge creep but then i got kind of creeped out myself when he started looking at porn magazines.

18. My dad, my friend Sarah, and I saw Jimmy Smits at this DNC event at a bar in LA, and my dad kept insisting that we would Really Really regret it for the rest of our lives if we didn't go up and talk to him. We were like "no, we have nothing to say to Jimmy Smits" but it had no effect.

19. The guy from the subway commercials, Jared Fogle, made an appearance at the Subway next to Toy Joy when I still worked there. They put him on the street corner along with a person in a subway sandwich costume. Brad said he looked into the mouth of the costume and the person was an ancient woman, but I don't know if that's true. It was really weird and uncomfortable because Jared was basically accosting people on the street asking them if they wanted his autograph, to which the typical response was "who are you?", to which he would respond "I'm that guy from the Subway commercials that lost all that weight" and then sign a Subway nutritional guide for them. I would have felt sorry for him except when he came into the store he was a jackass.

20. I've never met Bob Dylan but once I had a dream that he combed the tangles out of the back of my hair with his long fingers.

PS: I'm starting to think these stories make me sound like a crazy person and I want it to be known that I am capable of acting totally normal around famous people, like asking Luke Wilson if he needs help finding anything and giving him graphic novels to buy and only freaking out about his face the very second he steps out of the store and never, ever before.

2 0 0 9

2009-01-01T20:36:00.003-06:00

slightly abridged (for personal reasons) new years resolution super list, 2009. i usually don't do resolutions -- this year I decided to go to the opposite extreme.

YES:
running
riding my bike
walking places
wii fit
yoga
doing my laundry on a regular basis
playing music (with patrick and otherwise)
learning spanish
actually playing softball (well)
spending time with braedyn and isabel
writing! every day!
arts & crafts & etsy
hang out with my brother
hang out with jen and mandy and rissa at least once a week
sleep decently
save money
practice driving, get drivers license (by july)
shittyatlife.com, etc.
keep up blog (!)
publish manifesto, zines...
freelancing
paint apartment
get rid of shit
do fun things with b.
take pictures of things other than people drinking
make cookies

NO:
coca cola
excessive drinking
excessive cheese
eating out all the time
crying for no good reason
keeping b. awake
smoking
dirty dishes
cutting my hair!
creepy myspacing
dwelling on the past
impulse purchases
tights with runs in them
taking jokes personally
being bitchy about girls
excessive indecisiveness
worrying about people who suck
saying yes to things i don't want to do
cell phone slavery

albums. 2008. yo.

2008-12-01T18:07:00.005-06:00

1. The Dodos : Visiter

I go to certain albums for certain moods... If I'm sad, I'll listen to # 2 on this list. If I'm driving in the sunshine with Mandy, we'll listen to # 8. If I want to fall asleep, it's # 5. If I'm making out with my boyfriend, # 4 will do it. If I need to feel really happy, I'll listen to # 9. The thing about Visiter, and the reason it is numero uno here, is that it is perfect for every single one of those times and so much more. In fact, I'm never not in the mood for this album. This album is so diverse that it encompasses all feelings, and yet it's also, magically, incredibly cohesive and recognizable as The Dodo's very own spectacular, special sound. This album spread like wildfire among my friends. Someone would hear 30 seconds of a song in someone else's car and immediately beg to know who it was. I hope you feel the same way when you hear them for the first time. And remember: two people are making these sounds. Holy crap. My favorite tracks, although I love the entire thing, are "Fools" (car singalong / fist pump along epic masterpiece), "Red and Purple" (it sounds like having a crush on someone), "Winter" (the saddest song in the world in a catchy disguise), and "Undeclared" (the sweetest little love folk song this side of Herman Dune).

2. Bon Iver : For Emma, Forever Ago

Some people I know have said to me that they don't understand the buzz surrounding this album and that they found it underwhelming. I can understand that. While Visiter knocked me over the head with it's brilliance the first time I listened, this album took me weeks -- months? -- to sink my teeth into. I was originally drawn in by the song "Skinny Love". My fondness for heartbroken, sleepy-voiced boys knows no bounds and I would literally listen to the song on repeat for hours after Craig put it on his first mix-project CD (as, who would have guessed, the song that always makes him sad). It took me awhile to even want to listen to anything else on the record but paying close attention and spending long nights holding these tunes close to my heart has paid off immensely. This album is the auditory equivalent of digging out a sweater you haven't worn since last year and discovering that it still smells like campfire smoke and your ex-boyfriend's laundry detergent.

3. Okkervil River : The Stand-Ins

This is probably my least favorite Okkervil album, but if you know me you may realize how much that is, uh, praising by faint damnation? Anyway, it's a beautiful album, full of all of Will Sheff's astounding insight and perfect articulation, in this case primarily on the topic of the pitfalls of fame and fortune. The tunes are incredibly catchy, which almost seems like an intentional irony when you read the lyrics booklet, particularly on a song like "Pop Lie." My favorite song on the album by far is "Lost Coastlines" (creepy video above). Whenever I hear Jonathan Meiberg's voice come in on that track I get actual goosebumps all over my arms.

4. The Walkmen : You & Me

The Walkmen and I have had a tumultuous few years as they have gone from being one of my favorite bands to disappointing me a little with A Hundred Miles Off and a lot more with Pussy Cats (yikes). Then I saw them play earlier this year and my heart exploded a lot. In a good way, mind you. And now there is You & Me. Which is beautiful. Don't misread me, I'm not claiming that it is as much of a masterpiece as Everyone Who Pretended To Like Me Is Gone. There's some kind of raw, ridiculous newness and vitality that the Walkmen had then and have since lost, maybe forever. But they've also gained horns! And a sense of sensuality and romance I never heard before. This album is the perfect soundtrack for throwing rocks at the window of your lover after drinking too much whiskey at a New Year's party as you think about how the last year really wasn't as bad as it felt while you were living it.

5. Fleet Foxes : Fleet Foxes

What can I say about this band that hasn't already been said? John Hodgman dubbed them 'Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Devendra Banhart', which is hilarious and also I think the CSNY comparison is a hella more apt than the MMJ thing they're always gettin' stuck with. Anyway, they're really very good and you should listen to this album because it's made for wintertime and love.

6. Micah Hinson : And The Red Empire Orchestra

This album has technically not yet been released in the US but I'm counting it because it exists and I can't not tell you about Micah. If you didn't already know, Micah P. Hinson is this tiny brave little kid from Abilene who sings like an 80 year old man whose life is flashing before his eyes. His songs are deceptively simple -- usually a few lines are repeated over and over again over a pretty finger-picked melody. The Red Empire Orchestra provides a new twist this time around with stunning, giant arrangements featuring strings and horns. But at their core, his songs have the same heart every time: the heart of someone who has lived a lot in a short span of time and come out to see the other side. Beautiful.

7. Conor Oberst : Conor Oberst

On this actually-less-solo-than-before-if-you-ask-me solo debut, Conor manages to balance his trademark vulnerability with a mature, accessible sound. Much better than his last Bright Eyes album and featuring one of my favorite songs he's ever written, Milk Thistle, as well as a bunch of poppy gems and a couple other pretty ballads. I'm really happy to be able to call myself a fan again, without a bunch of disclaimers.

8. She and Him : Volume One

Yes, it's cute. No, it's not going to change your life. Yes, it sounds like it could have been a lost country-pop hit record from the 1970s. No, it's not like M. Ward's records, nor is it trying to be. Yes, Zooey Deschanel is much more beautiful than Katy Perry and she got to it first. No, I didn't write the song featured above, although I feel like I could have. Anyway, this album is imminently 'listenable' and it makes me want to put on fancy clothes and drink peppermint cocktails.

9. Her Space Holiday : XOXO, Panda And The New Kid Revival

If you would smile if someone called you 'twee', get this album immediately and get ready to dance around your living room in your bunny ears and vintage aprons because this is your freakin' theme song times a dozen, kiddo. If the word 'twee' makes you wrinkle your nose, stay as far away from this cheesy pop bullshit as you possibly can.

10. Shearwater : Rook

This band has such a personal affect on me and my heartparts that I usually have a hard time judging what their impact on the rest of the world will be, but I was really surprised this album didn't make more of a splash. To me, this band is exploring sound with innovation and precision that is basically unmatched. It's one part opera, one part Radiohead, and one part something else entirely, with feathers. Heart.

Bonus 11-15:
11. The Breeders : Mountain Battles
12. Stephen Malkmus And The Jicks : Real Emotional Trash
13. Herman Dune : Next Year In Zion
14. The Silver Jews : Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea
15. Brothers and Sisters : Fortunately

if she leaves in the middle of it, let her go

2008-11-21T20:11:00.005-06:00

Selected bunny rubbin' tips from 'The Relaxed Rabbit: Massage for Your Pet Bunny'. I was thinking this might be helpful for y'all in other endeavors; as well as, of course, bunny massage.

Always begin with a light pressure and gradually increase the pressure. It is important to warm up the tissue before applying deeper work.

When making circular motions using any stroke, clockwise circles will have an increasing energy or stimulating effect, while counterclockwise circles lessen energy and are sedating.

Use both hands. If necessary, stabilize the body with your opposite hand while you isolate and work out tension with the other.

Try to maintain contact with the animal at all times during your session. This is reassuring and helps you stay focused and helps keep your pet relaxed. Imagine your hands moving the way water flows through a stream, in one long continuos motion.

Watch your pet's reaction to touch. Notice her facial expressions. Are her eyes closing? How is her breathing? [...] Perhaps she'll pay you the ultimate compliment of chattering her teeth.

Don't give up after the first few tries. Pets will quickly learn what to expect with your massage routine and will relax easily with your touch in time.

Follow your intuition and trust your hands. Use a routine as a place to begin, then add in your own moves. Let your pet inspire you.

Let your pet come to you when she is ready for massage. Is she resists at all, don't push it. Always let the animal be in control of the session. If she leaves in the middle of it, let her go.

Sanitation is important to prevent the spread of disease. Always wash your hands with warm, soapy water before and after the massage. Remove any dangling or sharp jewelry before starting a session.

Massage time should be quality time. Turn off the phone, play relaxing music, turn down the lights... whatever makes it more relaxing for you both. Make massage a regular event and a magical bond will develop between you and your pet.

Tummy crisis solved!

2008-11-03T23:20:00.004-06:00

What do you eat when you're starving, broke, transportation-less, and you haven't been grocery shopping in weeks?

Tonight:

Cous Cous with butter and fresh basil (from the plant outside that might be dying),
alongside a sort of salad thing made with a base of steamed broccoli, combined with roma tomatoes, onions, garlic, and walnuts that were all fried and marinated with homemade vinegarette (+ honey, rosemary, lavender, and thyme) and topped with parmesan and mozzarella.

I think I used literally every scrap of food that was left in my fridge, and all that's in my pantry is some peanut butter and evaporated milk.

Oh, if you're thinking "that doesn't sound bad" -- you are correct. It wasn't bad. Harold Dieterle, will you marry me already?

delight

2008-10-09T19:14:00.002-06:00

the idea of elephants and their size and their faces
the fact that there is watermelon syrup at my new coffee gig
the freckles on my boyfriend's nose
the kooks
the fact that bookpeople won their first softball playoff game
the smell of my dryer sheets
raw chocolate
banksy!
manny ramirez
kenley collins' wedding dress, despite her attitude
the sharon jones & the dap kings show at ACL
wil wheaton in the 80s
obamanos!
babelfishing confessions
los jaliscienses
fall weather = fall clothes = my astros jacket, scarves, leg warmers, and hats hats hats!

it coulda killed me.

2008-08-28T00:13:00.000-06:00

be here now.

2008-08-25T11:47:00.003-06:00

Sorry I have been so lax with updates. Sometimes, life happens and the computer happens less.

Here's what I have been thinking about lately: letting go. Scanning over my blog entries over the last few months, I am reminded of my sentimental heart and the tight grip I keep on memories. I use nostalgia, in one form or another, as a starting point for creativity, emotion, humor, and most of my brain-space. I think it's an undeniable part of my personality to collect pieces of the past, but I also think that I need to start fighting it as a priority in my life.

The other night, on some insomnia-driven flight of fancy, I was talking to my boyfriend about the Past, the scary and sad bits from the last few months, the things that keep me awake and pacing with ideas about how they could be different or how they shaped the present-moment-me. And Brian, in his sweet and wise way, was all "you're just talking about things you have no control over at all. Why don't you just let go?"

Yeah... why don't I?

So I'm putting an official-like hold on some of the features of this blog while I think about how to talk about the simple present and the endless, wonderful, scary, undecided future. See you there.

out of the mouths of... craig thompson's friends

2008-08-06T16:49:00.002-06:00

I'm at work catching up on some blogs I've been out of touch with recently...Just read this post on beloved graphic novelist Craig Thompson's blog with a sketchbook page quoting a conversation with a friend of his. His friend remarks:

"right now, in this world, to love is easy but to let someone else love you is difficult, because you have to show your weaknesses and stop being scared they'll eat you.

Truest.

my favorite poem.

2008-08-06T15:02:00.003-06:00

i reread this poem at least once a year and it always feels a little bit more relevant than the year before. i imagine this will peak at age 28, but maybe not... David Berman's book Actual Air is one of my best-loved possessions and I've bought half a dozen copies over the years to give away as gifts to people that needed it.

Self-Portrait At 28
by David Berman

I know it's a bad title
but I'm giving it to myself as a gift
on a day nearly canceled by sunlight
when the entire hill is approaching
the ideal of Virginia
brochured with goldenrod and loblolly
and I think "at least I have not woken up
with a bloody knife in my hand"
by then having absently wandered
one hundred yards from the house
while still seated in this chair
with my eyes closed.

It is a certain hill
the one I imagine when I hear the word "hill"
and if the apocalypse turns out
to be a world-wide nervous breakdown
if our five billion minds collapse at once
well I'd call that a surprise ending
and this hill would still be beautiful
a place I wouldn't mind dying
alone or with you.

I am trying to get at something
and I want to talk very plainly to you
so that we are both comforted by the honesty.
You see there is a window by my desk
I stare out when I am stuck
though the outdoors has rarely inspired me to write
and I don't know why I keep staring at it.

My childhood hasn't made good material either
mostly being a mulch of white minutes
with a few stand out moments,
popping tar bubbles on the driveway in the summer
a certain amount of pride at school
everytime they called it "our sun"
and playing football when the only play
was "go out long" are what stand out now.

If squeezed for more information
I can remember old clock radios
with flipping metal numbers
and an entree called Surf and Turf.

As a way of getting in touch with my origins
every night I set the alarm clock
for the time I was born so that waking up
becomes a historical reenactment and the first thing I do
is take a reading of the day and try to flow with it like
when you're riding a mechanical bull and you strain to learn
the pattern quickly so you don't inadverantly resist it.

II two

I can't remember being born
and no one else can remember it either
even the doctor who I met years later
at a cocktail party.
It's one of the little disappointments
that makes you think about getting away
going to Holly Springs or Coral Gables
and taking a room on the square
with a landlady whose hands are scored
by disinfectant, telling the people you meet
that you are from Alaska, and listen
to what they have to say about Alaska
until you have learned much more about Alaska
than you ever will about Holly Springs or Coral Gables.

Sometimes I am buying a newspaper
in a strange city and think
"I am about to learn what it's like to live here."
Oftentimes there is a news item
about the complaints of homeowners
who live beside the airport
and I realize that I read an article
on this subject nearly once a year
and always receive the same image.

I am in bed late at night
in my house near the airport
listening to the jets fly overhead
a strange wife sleeping beside me.
In my mind, the bedroom is an amalgamation
of various cold medicine commercial sets
(there is always a box of tissue on the nightstand).

I know these recurring news articles are clues,
flaws in the design though I haven't figured out
how to string them together yet,
but I've begun to notice that the same people
are dying over and over again,
for instance Minnie Pearl
who died this year
for the fourth time in four years.

III three

Today is the first day of Lent
and once again I'm not really sure what it is.
How many more years will I let pass
before I take the trouble to ask someone?

It reminds of this morning
when you were getting ready for work.
I was sitting by the space heater
numbly watching you dress
and when you asked why I never wear a robe
I had so many good reasons
I didn't know where to begin.

If you were cool in high school
you didn't ask too many questions.
You could tell who'd been to last night's
big metal concert by the new t-shirts in the hallway.
You didn't have to ask
and that's what cool was:
the ability to deduct
to know without asking.
And the pressure to simulate coolness
means not asking when you don't know,
which is why kids grow ever more stupid.

A yearbook's endpages, filled with promises
to stay in touch, stand as proof of the uselessness
of a teenager's promise. Not like I'm dying
for a letter from the class stoner
ten years on but...

Do you remember the way the girls
would call out "love you!"
conveniently leaving out the "I"
as if they didn't want to commit
to their own declarations.

I agree that the "I" is a pretty heavy concept
and hope you won't get uncomfortable
if I should go into some deeper stuff here.

IV four

There are things I've given up on
like recording funny answering machine messages.
It's part of growing older
and the human race as a group
has matured along the same lines.
It seems our comedy dates the quickest.
If you laugh out loud at Shakespeare's jokes
I hope you won't be insulted
if I say you're trying too hard.
Even sketches from the original Saturday Night Live
seem slow-witted and obvious now.

It's just that our advances are irrepressible.
Nowadays little kids can't even set up lemonade stands.
It makes people too self-conscious about the past,
though try explaining that to a kid.

I'm not saying it should be this way.

All this new technology
will eventually give us new feelings
that will never completely displace the old ones
leaving everyone feeling quite nervous
and split in two.

We will travel to Mars
even as folks on Earth
are still ripping open potato chip
bags with their teeth.

Why? I don't have the time or intelligence
to make all the connections
like my friend Gordon
(this is a true story)
who grew up in Braintree Massachusetts
and had never pictured a brain snagged in a tree
until I brought it up.
He'd never broken the name down to its parts.
By then it was too late.
He had moved to Coral Gables.

V five

The hill out my window is still looking beautiful
suffused in a kind of gold national park light
and it seems to say,
I'm sorry the world could not possibly
use another poem about Orpheus
but I'm available if you're not working
on a self-portrait or anything.

I'm watching my dog have nightmares,
twitching and whining on the office floor
and I try to imagine what beast
has cornered him in the meadow
where his dreams are set.

I'm just letting the day be what it is:
a place for a large number of things
to gather and interact --
not even a place but an occasion
a reality for real things.

Friends warned me not to get too psychedelic
or religious with this piece:
"They won't accept it if it's too psychedelic
or religious," but these are valid topics
and I'm the one with the dog twitching on the floor
possibly dreaming of me
that part of me that would beat a dog
for no good reason
no reason that a dog could see.

I am trying to get at something so simple
that I have to talk plainly
so the words don't disfigure it
and if it turns out that what I say is untrue
then at least let it be harmless
like a leaky boat in the reeds
that is bothering no one.

VI six

I can't trust the accuracy of my own memories,
many of them having blended with sentimental
telephone and margarine commercials
plainly ruined by Madison Avenue
though no one seems to call the advertising world
"Madison Avenue" anymore. Have they moved?
Let's get an update on this.

But first I have some business to take care of.

I walked out to the hill behind our house
which looks positively Alaskan today
and it would be easier to explain this
if I had a picture to show you
but I was with our young dog
and he was running through the tall grass
like running through the tall grass
is all of life together
until a bird calls or he finds a beer can
and that thing fills all the space in his head.

You see,
his mind can only hold one thought at a time
and when he finally hears me call his name
he looks up and cocks his head
and for a single moment
my voice is everything:

Self-portrait at 28.

all my relationships i fucked up in all the right ways

2008-07-22T14:05:00.005-06:00

Last night while he was sleeping, I finished his first mix. I'll let you figure out the rest:

1. Fuckup - Rock Plaza Central
2. 5 Years Time - Noah and the Whale
3. Jackeyed - Micah P. Hinson
4. Red and Purple - The Dodos
5. Fools Rush In - Etta James
6. Baby - Os Mutantes
7. I'll Be Your Baby Tonight - Bob Dylan
8. Please Don't Be Gentle With Me - The Minutemen
9. Give You My Lovin' - Mazzy Star
10. In My Lady's House - Iron and Wine
11. When I Hold You In My Arms - Neil Young
12. Welfare Bread - King Khan & His Shrines
13. July, July! - The Decemberists
14. White Water Hymnal - Fleet Foxes
15. Tume To Go - Holly Golightly & The Brokeoffs
16. Paper Tiger - Spoon
17. Glad Tidings - Sound Team
18. Be Still My Heart - The Postal Service
19. Way Too Good - Figurine
20. Sweepstakes Prize - Mirah
21. My Slumbering Heart - Rilo Kiley
22. While You Were Sleeping - Elvis Perkins
23. Thirteen - Elliott Smith

Eyes Closed Monsters: 0003

2008-07-20T18:30:00.003-06:00

Eyes-closed drawings among my friends and I were born almost a decade ago when Rhymi and I used to spend a lot of time coming up with 'games' to play with a paper and pen at Kerbey Lane or Flipnotics. We had lots of games, but a favorite was "close your eyes and draw ________". Sometimes we would do it with people we knew and then try to guess at who the other person had drawn. But generally, bugs and monsters were the biggest hits. Years went by and I would occasionally think to ask people to close their eyes and draw me a monster. Eventually I decided it would be a good art project and got dozens of submissions from friends and my (then) new coworkers at BookPeople. Sadly, I never did anything with all of the drawings other than love the hell out of them. Now I want you to love them too. And, ideally, this will spawn an eyes-closed monsters boom. Cory made me a button of his eyes closed monsty, and all of them just beg for stuffed animal adaptations. The spirit of eyes-closed monsters if mos def 'open source', so if you have any great ideas for these guys: do it!

And if you draw a monster with your eyes closed, please email me your drawing and I'll put it up, and maybe someday get a tattoo of it or something.

What I like about this monster is that even though it's eyes-closed and all, anyone who knows Rebekah Ross well would be able to tell you it was hers immediately. Her drawing style, even blind, is inimitable and amazing. I still have a drawing she made 8 years ago of 'renegade teddy bears' hanging on my wall. Amazing! Another thing I like about this monster is that it's face is on it's neck. Scary!

Drumroll! My (Highly Subjective) Top Ten Animated Movies of All Time!

2008-07-11T17:32:00.009-06:00

I whiled away the afternoon at work writing and rewriting and rewriting this list following a discussion with my lovely animator BFF Jeff Freeman about how Wall-E had easily made it into each of our theoretical top fives.

The list started as a simple way to pass the time and turned into a hotly discussed and debated piece of parchment. There were at least ten drafts before the 'final' one, below, with annotation. One aspect of the discussion (mostly between Freeman and I, unsurprisingly) was what exactly the criteria for the accolade was. There was no final word on how it should be decided but I'd say the list below uses the following criteria roughly equally:

Sentimental/personal value: These movies all mean a lot to me because I'm me. It's not meant to be universal, and I would fully expect anyone else's list to be completely different.

History / Innovation / Singularity: That said, representing major types and localities of animation was important to me, as well as recognizing certain landmarks. Fantasia almost made the cut for this reason alone, but I booted it because it's personal value to me is almost null. However, there was a sense of needing to have a representative movie from the east, a representative stop-motion film, etc.

Artistic / Creative Achievement: I think all of the top ten movies could be called 'masterpieces' from a purely artistic standpoint.

As far as what qualifies..Eventually the rule I came up with is that if it's animation on top of live action backgrounds, the animation is more of an 'effect' -- hence Who Framed Roger Rabbit was not considered. But if there is limited live action 'on top' of the animation -- i.e. Wall-E -- it qualifies as full length animation. The Phantom Tollbooth was allowed because the live action serves as a very brief bookend to what is really a full length animated movie. Puppet movies don't count, stop motion does. Shorts are excluded, that's a list of it's own.

Summer: At least half of the top ten use anthropomorphized animals or robots to deal with themes of equality or humanism -- freedom from oppression.
Jeff: Cartoons about humans are dumb.
Summer: Yeah, but they're still human themes. Unless animators are a bunch of radical animal/robot rights activists. Although NIMH might actually be about mice...
Summer: Let's not even get started on Bambi... Talk about radical!

By far the best response to the list was from Jerome: "I guess I'll forgive you for not including The Great Mouse Detective."

It should be noted that I am not really a fan of computer animation and your pleading arguments for Finding Nemo or The Incredibles will not do anything for me. Yes, I've seen them. I can appreciate that a lot of people like those movies, but I really don't. I find Wall-E to be the disarming, beautiful, wonderful, singular exception that proves my rule.

Okay, here:

Close but no cigar: Waking Life, Fantasia, Bambi, Pinocchio, Robin Hood, Spirited Away, The Rescuers, Sleeping Beauty, Watership Down, Charlotte's Web, The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, Metropolis, An American Tail, Princess Mononoke, Paprika, Yellow Submarine, An American Tail, Ghost In The Shell, The Corpse Bride, James And The Giant Peach, Wallace & Gromit: Curse Of The Were-Rabbit...

10. The Nightmare Before Christmas
Hotly contested by Freeman. But I love this movie. Maybe a little less than I did once, because as he rightly pointed out, the songs wear on you a bit after years of hearing them. But this movie was one of the first times I was overwhelmed by the beauty of animation and felt true wonder during a full-length animated film, other than as a small child. The character design is creative and classic. Jack Skellington is a perfect antihero. Sally is lovely and strange. There's a reason these characters have endured. They are Mickey and Minnie for the young and the alternative.

9. The Phantom Tollbooth
This charming and simple movie is what animation for children feels like at it's best. It's not showy or particularly innovative or splashy or bright, but the adaptation of Jules Feiffer's wonderful book illustrations is exactly what this story deserves. Magical.

8. The Secret of NIMH
This movie is representin' Don Bluth and all he did in the 80s that was really the continuation of the wonderful and funny, not-so-epic, beautifully drawn Disney movies in the 60s-70s that were all but forgotten by the languishing Disney studios at the time. I mean, didn't this come out the same year as 'The Black Cauldron'? Don Bluth picked up where they left off and proved that someone else could make wonderful children's animation. This movie is still fucking scary and dark and serious and awesome.

7. 101 Dalmations
A lot of Disney movies got 'cut' at the last minute to make room for other things, but Dalmations had to stay. It has some of the best music of any animated film ever, the art style is unique and singular to this day, the characters are unforgettable (Cruella!), the voice acting is the best I can think of, and it's always, always, always 'watchable.' I love this movie. Walt Disney kind of hated it, weirdly enough. What does he know? Oh, yeah.

6. Akira
I am not personally equipped to write eloquently about this film, although I love it very much and it has had an enormous impact and if you have not seen it, you really should. I'll leave it at that

5. The Triplets of Belleville
This delightful movie singlehandedly revitalized my passion for animation. It seems to be both a huge step forward and a nod to the past. Unforgettable. Sad. Whimsical. Funny. Heartbreaking. It's a 'cartoon' in a very real sense, but also very serious. It straddles the line between animation as 'entertainment' and animation as 'art.'

4. The Iron Giant
This movie is perfect. I cry every single time I watch it, and the animation itself takes my breath away.

3. Wall-E
This movie is perfect. It exceeded my incredibly high expectations and impressed me even further the second time I saw it. Everything from the story to the visual to the sound design to the music is innovative and different and yet completely classic. I find myself thinking about Wall-E and Eve every single day.

2. My Neighbor Totoro
This movie is perfect. Totoros are now an important part of my personal mythologies. And this has to be my favorite animated movie from a visual perspective. I could freeze any frame of this film and frame it as art. All that, while appealing to kids on a basic and primitive level at the same time. Magic, magic!

1. Lady And The Tramp
This movie is perfect. It's a romantic comedy disguised as a children's movie. And although the Lion King likes to claim this honor on a technicality, L&TT is really the first 'original story' to be made into a Disney animated feature. AND it's hilarious and true and beautiful and I never ever get tired of it, ever, although I've been watching it at least once a year for at least twenty years.

Your Weekly Poem About Jonathan Taylor Thomas: Four

2008-07-09T13:01:00.002-06:00

When I was thirteen, I wrote approximately 100 poems about my true love and soulmate, Jonathan Taylor Thomas (from the television show 'Home Improvement'). I present to you: Your Weekly Poem About Jonathan Taylor Thomas. In case you ever thought I was cool. Punctuation, 'form', and spelling are left intact: that's comedy!

Sorry this is late! My birthday was yesterday and I was a bit distracted. I hope JTT doesn't doubt my commitment.

Late

The clock blinks 1:31
And this morning I woke early

I'm more tired than ever
I wanna fall asleep

But you are all I can think of
Honey, you're the one

With you in L.A.
And me in Austin

These thoughts won't ever let me be.

Your Weekly Poem About Jonathan Taylor Thomas: Three

2008-06-30T16:52:00.002-06:00

When I was thirteen, I wrote approximately 100 poems about my true love and soulmate, Jonathan Taylor Thomas (from the television show 'Home Improvement'). I present to you: Your Weekly Poem About Jonathan Taylor Thomas. In case you ever thought I was cool. Punctuation, 'form', and spelling are left intact: that's comedy!

Classic Love

Passion.
Love.
Desire.
Need.
Caring.

The stuff of soaps
And romance novels
But what I feel for you.

They say love is gone
to Divorice courts and hate
But I still love you.

So many give up
Say it's too hard for me
But I won't ever give up on you

Classic romance
Is down the drain
But my dreams of flowers are all about you

Although, maybe I should say
You don't feel anything for me
But, hey, I still adore you.

True love lives on
Despite of what's around
Cause a girl dreams of you.

Eyes Closed Monsters: 0002

2008-06-25T16:42:00.003-06:00

Eyes-closed drawings among my friends and I were born almost a decade ago when Rhymi and I used to spend a lot of time coming up with 'games' to play with a paper and pen at Kerbey Lane or Flipnotics. We had lots of games, but a favorite was "close your eyes and draw ________". Sometimes we would do it with people we knew and then try to guess at who the other person had drawn. But generally, bugs and monsters were the biggest hits. Years went by and I would occasionally think to ask people to close their eyes and draw me a monster. Eventually I decided it would be a good art project and got dozens of submissions from friends and my (then) new coworkers at BookPeople. Sadly, I never did anything with all of the drawings other than love the hell out of them. Now I want you to love them too. And, ideally, this will spawn an eyes-closed monsters boom. Cory made me a button of his eyes closed monsty, and all of them just beg for stuffed animal adaptations. The spirit of eyes-closed monsters if mos def 'open source', so if you have any great ideas for these guys: do it!

And if you draw a monster with your eyes closed, please email me your drawing and I'll put it up, and maybe someday get a tattoo of it or something.

Conor drew this guy on the back of one of BP's 'note to buyer' sheets, often used for creative endeavors over the years. I like him. He looks like a crab bending backwards. The monster, not Conor.

Your Weekly Poem About Jonathan Taylor Thomas: Two

2008-06-24T13:46:00.003-06:00

When I was thirteen, I wrote approximately 100 poems about my true love and soulmate, Jonathan Taylor Thomas (from the television show 'Home Improvement'). I present to you: Your Weekly Poem About Jonathan Taylor Thomas. In case you ever thought I was cool. Punctuation, 'form', and spelling are left intact: that's comedy!

-

Why not?

Is it to much to ask
to hold your hand,
kiss your mouth,
hold you close,
feel your touch

Do I not deserve to
hear your voice
wear your shirt
mend your wounds
give you gifts

why can't we
watch a movie
hike together
see the sunset
travel the world

All I ever wanted was
to wear your ring
make you dinner
share your life
be together

-

'mend your wounds'?! Discuss.

Miniature Soundtracks : Episode Six

2008-06-18T16:34:00.004-06:00

Miniature Soundtracks is my small experiment in mp3 blogging. I'll be using a beloved image from my flickr photostream or favorites, reflect on it for a few sentences, and then give you a song that evokes the same feelings. If your photo or song is featured and you'd rather it not be, let me know and I'll take it down immediately.

When people leave, it's kind of exciting at first. It's like a wedding: you get the chance to express all of your emotions and be as cheesy as you want without being seen as a sap fest or corny or uncool. Leaving mix CDs are the best ones I've ever made. There's a tertiary goal of most mixes where, in addition to just sharing music or making someone happy or expressing some feelings, you're also trying to create a tie between you and something beautiful in the person's mind. It's a wonder to think that every time Freeman hears New Slang he thinks of me, and I'd like to think it's because I'm that beautiful, but really it's probably because I put it on the first mix tape I ever made for him, four years ago. When someone leaves, it's even better, because they are missing home and everything in it, hopefully yourself included, and the songs you hang them before they go are the closest thing they've got. You can make your own ghost self as beautiful as you want. When Rissa left the first time, I made her a CD that brought the waterworks on the greyhound. I think it's a good half of the reason why we're as close as we are now. The thing is, after the fun of getting to say "I love you" and hugging and mix CD giving and send offs and back pats wears off, someone is gone. And when they are the one person you want to see, you can't. Maybe they're coming back after awhile, and maybe it will be good for them, and maybe it will even be good for you. But they're gone -- gone! and all the songs in the world won't help much when you really want their face. Prepare yourself.

Unravel : Okkervil River [Bjork cover] from 'Sham Wedding / Hoax Funeral.

Your Weekly Poem About Jonathan Taylor Thomas

2008-06-16T02:10:00.003-06:00

When I was thirteen, I wrote approximately 100 poems about my true love and soulmate, Jonathan Taylor Thomas (from the television show 'Home Improvement'). I present to you: Your Weekly Poem About Jonathan Taylor Thomas. In case you ever thought I was cool. Punctuation, 'form', and spelling are left intact: that's comedy!

Why I Need Him

I would cry for help
But no one will answer
Which is why I
would cry for help

Family thinks me asleep
Friends are past curfews
Dog is resting
All I want is him.

I need his shoulder
I want his hand
I desire his lips
And
I connect to his soul

Eyes Closed Monsters: 0001

2008-06-15T16:55:00.004-06:00

Hello, hello. Let me introduce: Eyes closed monsters!

Eyes-closed drawings among my friends and I were born almost a decade ago when Rhymi and I used to spend a lot of time coming up with 'games' to play with a paper and pen at Kerbey Lane or Flipnotics. We had lots of games, but a favorite was "close your eyes and draw ________". Sometimes we would do it with people we knew and then try to guess at who the other person had drawn. But generally, bugs and monsters were the biggest hits. Years went by and I would occasionally think to ask people to close their eyes and draw me a monster. Eventually I decided it would be a good art project and got dozens of submissions from friends and my (then) new coworkers at BookPeople. Sadly, I never did anything with all of the drawings other than love the hell out of them. Now I want you to love them too. And, ideally, this will spawn an eyes-closed monsters boom. Cory made me a button of his eyes closed monsty, and all of them just beg for stuffed animal adaptations. The spirit of eyes-closed monsters if mos def 'open source', so if you have any great ideas for these guys: do it!

And if you draw a monster with your eyes closed, please email me your drawing and I'll put it up, and maybe someday get a tattoo of it or something.

For my first 'eyes closed monsty' post, I'm featuring my mom's purple and, let's face it, kind of adorable monster. Not scary at all, but that's what mom monsters are for.

She Made It All Up

2008-06-15T16:19:00.002-06:00

I wrote this story last year as an attempt to 1. write as an adolescent boy, a species that I am morbidly fascinated by, and 2. try to write 'funny.' Not sure if I succeeded really on either of those fronts, but I kind of like the story anyway.

She Made It All Up
by Summer Burton

One thing that never happened is that Amanda Lane never kissed me. She didn’t ask me to walk with her behind the oak tree next to the playscape; she didn’t look at me with her eyelids all low, which makes her face look weird but older; she didn’t reach up for my face and pretend to brush something out of my hair while leaning closer and closer to me so I could pretty much smell everything she ate for lunch and breakfast; and I definitely didn’t find myself pressing my mouth to hers and even opening it a little, enough that the very tip of her tongue was between my lips. That did not happen.

The reason that didn’t happen, and could never happen, and if in some bizarre alternate universe it did happen would be a big, big problem: Amanda is my best-friend-from-third-grade Thomas’ girl and they are going to get married. Or at least that’s what Thomas told me the day before Amanda did not kiss me. I told him that was a pretty pussy thing to say and that no one got married to their seventh grade girlfriends and that if they did get married she would probably divorce him and take all of his money, but Thomas shook his head and said it was love. At which point I did not feel even the slightest bit sick or jealous or weird, in fact I felt so normal that I called him a chick and hit him on his shoulder.

Amanda looks a little bit like Natalie Portman from the Star Wars movies. Mostly in two ways: one is that she is really skinny but she doesn’t look all bony like Theresa Williams or models, and the other is that she has this smile that’s really hard to look at. It’s hard to look at her smile (Natalie Portman’s or Amanda’s) because it seems like she knows something that you don’t, and also like she knows that you don’t know it, and also that she thinks that’s kind of funny and sad and sweet all at the same time. It’s terrible.

Amanda lives on my block and her parents have more money than mine which I know is true because Amanda has a new bike, not a used one from Goodwill, and because one time she told me that they have a maid. I looked for the maid at their house every time I passed by but then later she told me that she only comes once every two weeks, so they aren’t that rich.

Thomas lives further away but he has a new bike too and sometimes he rides it to my house and then we go to Amanda’s house and make fun of her together. Thomas says that it makes her like him more. I guess he’s right because, after a while, they usually tell me to go home so they can make out. I have never made out with someone at my house or at their house, and I guess sometimes I kind of wonder what that’s like but I never stop at Amanda’s window and glance in on my way across her yard. If I did it would just be to take notes for my future make out sessions with girlfriends who will have smiles that don’t make me feel stupid. But I don’t.

I did make out with Theresa Williams two months ago in the back yard of a party at Terrence Rhodes’ house. She was wearing a sweatshirt so she looked less bony than usual and besides I just needed the practice. Afterwards she said that we were going out and I told her that she was a bad kisser, which was only half the truth and the other half is something that I can’t talk about, but I swear it doesn’t have anything to do with Amanda.

Amanda and Thomas have been together for five months, which is longer than anyone else in our grade has ever gone out with anyone, so it seems like it’s pretty serious. So, if there was some weirdo universe where Amanda kissed me behind that tree, and where my entire chest and stomach felt like they were filled with tiny ticklish pieces of fur or confetti or something, I’d be pretty confused right now. Luckily, that didn’t happen and I feel completely normal and nothing on my insides feels like it’s been rearranged at all.

One time Thomas asked me who I thought the prettiest girl in our grade was and I asked him if he wanted the truth. This is because I can not lie to my best friend, but I know that sometimes people would prefer that you lie and I guess if he ever asked me not to tell him something for his own good I could lie then. But he said he wanted the truth and so I told him Amanda. I thought he might hit me but he just said “I know, man. She’s so fucking hot.” Thomas doesn’t say “fucking” very often so I knew he was trying to make sure that I was paying attention to what he was saying. He put his hand on my back. “I’m glad you support me, man.” I wasn’t sure what that meant but I guess he was saying that me saying Amanda was hot meant that I was happy for him that she was his girl. I guess that should be true.

My mom doesn’t seem to like Amanda’s family very much and every time she runs into Amanda’s mom she ends up in our kitchen telling my dad how “waspy” the Lanes are. I guess I know what she means. Amanda’s mom is just like a taller version of Amanda with her skin pulled a little bit tighter, and I guess they both seem like they might be hiding some kind of poison stinger behind their backs. The smile that’s hard to look at might just be a trick to get you stung, you know?

It’s good that Amanda did not kiss me behind that tree and that I didn’t feel her boobs pressed against my t-shirt and that she didn’t tell me afterwards she wanted to break up with Thomas to go out with me because I was a nicer kisser, because if she did than I would probably have run home and put my entire head under the kitchen sink to calm down before Thomas came over and then when he did I would have been really freaked out and he would keep asking me what was wrong and I would keep saying ‘nothing’ even though that wouldn’t be true and then I would have a feeling in my stomach even worse than the one I would have had when Amanda’s mouth was so soft, a feeling that I was keeping something from my best-friend-since-third-grade and then Thomas might have suggested that we go over to Amanda’s and I might have flinched or made some kind of weird face and he might have said “what, man?” and I might have shrugged and, not knowing what to say, I might have said that I thought she was kind of a bitch for not letting him feel up her shirt yet after a whole five months and Thomas might have looked really thoughtful and then said “you’re right man” and then later, after his mom agreed to let him spend the night since it was a Friday, he might suggest that we play some kind of joke on Amanda and we might have grabbed all of the toilet paper in my bathroom and snuck out and thrown it all up in her trees and then the next day Amanda’s mom might come over and ask my mom about it and I might start crying and Thomas might call me a pussy and get on his bike and go home and then Amanda’s mom might tell her that we had done it and Amanda might not speak to me or Thomas for a whole week at school, she might just smile her terrible way and make us both feel small, so small. And Thomas might forgive me for letting on that we had rolled the house, but I might never forget that I hadn’t told him about what really happened with Amanda and then one day, two months later, when I had a new girlfriend – Stacy Park, who is almost as pretty as Amanda and has much bigger boobs – Amanda might smile her terrible smile at us in class and then pass Thomas a note that he will read and then crumple up into a ball and then he might stare at his desk for awhile before staring at me for awhile and we will all know everything, and then Thomas might hit me in the face and Stacy might break up with me after Amanda tells her the whole story too, and then I might be alone almost all the time and then one day I would ride my bike past Amanda’s house and see Thomas’ bike locked to the tree and I would not, I would never, lower my head and look into their window and see his hands underneath her sweater, see them holding each other and see Amanda smile some different smile, one that I’d never seen before, a smile that would make me look away and make my feet feel heavy with everything inside of me dropped right into them.

So, it’s good that Amanda didn’t kiss me, even if it might have all felt worth it anyway.