Introspection of a Plural Wife (at Heart)

Signing Off - For Now

2009-12-18T07:06:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone,

I will not be posting for awhile. My life has taken a sharp turn and I no longer have the ability to maintain a blog, nor do I have the passion for it.

I am now a certified rape crisis counselor and a volunteer victim advocate and hope to continue to serve people in that capacity. I hope to continue to be available for crisis response/relief for members of the polygamous culture. I have a great love for the people from that culture, as well as the other people I serve who are from various backgrounds and walks of life.

I am changing jobs. I am no longer able to continue as director of Principle Voices. We've had a great year, but in this tough economic time, my family has been hit hard and I have to do everything I can to help meet our family needs.

So, I am saying goodbye. Truthfully, Twitter is far more functional for me right now, because short updates are all I can muster at this time. So, I will continue to try to post news or links, etc., of interest on Twitter.

Principle Voices is not going away. Anne Wilde will be the go-to person for resources from the organization. You can contact Anne at principlevoices at comcast.net.

Paper: Should Canada Criminalize Polygamy? (available on the Social Science Research Network)

2009-12-06T17:45:00.000-08:00

A very good, very interesting paper. Recommended reading. Here is the abstract below.

Enjoy, Mary

**********

Should Canada Criminalize Polygamy?

Martha Bailey
Queen's University - Faculty of Law

November 19, 2009

Abstract:
The question addressed in this paper is whether, in addition to the marriage laws, which do not permit polygamy, and the criminal prohibition of bigamy, Canada should also retain the criminal provision on polygamy, which outlaws the practice of carrying on a conjugal relationship with more than one person. This paper argues that the provision is unnecessary to protect Canada's cultural commitment to monogamy, that it is problematically broad, and that it is not an effective tool in protecting the public interest or preventing harms to women and children.

Keywords: marriage, monogamy, polygamy, criminal law, closed communities, child protection, gender equality, immigrationmpaw

JEL Classifications: K00, K42

Working Paper Series
Date posted: November 21, 2009 ; Last revised: November 24, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving & Black Friday

2009-11-27T09:00:00.000-08:00

I spent the night at my parents' house Wednesday with my sister.

Our Thanksgiving dinner Thursday was fantastic. My mom and sister made 10 pies, chocolate, vanilla, pumpkin and pecan for dessert, as well as a rainbow Jello dessert with cream cheese filing and crushed pineapple that is a long-time family tradition. We had turkey, potatoes, corn, stuffing, cranberry sauce and yams, and a whole bunch of piping hot, homemade butterhorn rolls that are from my grandmother's recipe that came to our family from a Swedish great-grandma.

We enjoyed some family home movies from when we were little kids; footage of us when we lived in Alaska and California. I was seven in Alaska, and I remembered a lot of the scenery and things. We were at Disneyland hugging Mickey Mouse. There were a couple different Christmases on there, too, from three different houses over a period of several years. My brothers and sister were so tiny and cute. There was even one shot of us walking through Tiajuana and picking out sombreros for boys and dolls for us girls. Our choice in the selection!

It was really a nice holiday.

On a different note, I'm looking forward to a new day, and a new direction in my work. Hoping for the best even though times are tough!

God bless you all and your families as we head into the Christmas season.

Mary ~

Good Shots of the Utah State Supreme Court Appeal for Warren Jeffs

2009-11-03T19:21:00.000-08:00

Check out these photos from Trent Nelson's website. He is the Salt Lake Tribune photographer.

Legal Analysis: Texas Polygamy and Child Welfare

2009-10-14T08:27:00.001-07:00

This is a REALLY GOOD paper, available at the Social Science Research Network:

Texas Polygamy and Child Welfare

Martin Guggenheim
New York University School of Law

September 17, 2009

Houston Law Review, Vol. 46, No. 3, 2009

Abstract:
This article explains why the child welfare process was used in the 2008 San Angelo, Texas raid on the FLDS community which resulted in the removal of more than 400 children from their families. It argues that the criminal justice system, not the child welfare system, should be the preferred means by which state officials attempt to prevent the practice of polygamy. The criminal justice system contains many more time honored protections of civil liberties than the child welfare system. In addition, using the child welfare system contains one additional danger: the contamination and expansion of child welfare law to permit coercive intervention, authorizing state officials to remove children from families based on notions of morality. The article suggests that the ultimate danger of the San Angelo raid is that child welfare interventions will become too much about the (mis)behavior of parents, with a particular emphasis on conduct that is criminal or "immoral," and too little about what should always remain the central inquiry: whether children are in danger.

Keywords: polygamy, child welfare, children's rights, criminal law

Working Paper Series
Date posted: October 12, 2009 ; Last revised: October 12, 2009

Polygamy Conference News

2009-09-27T22:05:00.000-07:00

Here is the video for the Fox 13 Now news coverage of the Family or Felony? Polygamy and the Law Conference

and here is where the article is.

The Salt Lake Tribune reported about the conference here.

I would just like to clarify some things that may not be clear from the news pieces above:

The legal conference brought together a variety of viewpoints, prosecutorial, defense, family law, historical, etc. The intention of the conference was to generate a dialogue and open discussion of opposing perspectives regarding polygamy and the law, and based on the feedback forms and the feedback we received in person and by email, I feel we achieved that. One speaker specifically presented on the topic of decriminalization, but some speakers presented the opposing view to that.

Thank you to everyone who participated and attended. :o)

UPDATE: Charges DROPPED against Canadian Polygamists

2009-09-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

Read the RULING posted on Brooke Adams' Salt Lake Tribune Plural Life blog, and here's the article about it at the Salt Lake Tribune.

Robert Matas is reporting for the Globe and Mail that the polygamy charges against Winston Blackmore and Jimmy Oler have been dropped. The decision came down today:

"B.C. Supreme Court Judge Sunni Stromberg-Stein decided that former attorney-general Wally Oppal did not have the authority to have lawyer Terry Robertson appointed as a special prosecutor after a previous special prosecutor had refused to prosecute the two men.

Mr. Robertson's appointment was contrary to the law and Mr. Robertson's decision to proceed with the prosecution “was therefore unlawful,” the judge wrote in a 34-page decision released today."

Amen and Amen!!!

My love and best wishes go the families of these men.

I have met both Winston and Jimmy, but have not had the pleasure of meeting any of Jimmy's family. Several years ago, my colleagues and I visited B.C. and spent time with some of Winston's wives personally; they opened their homes to us and showed us around Bountiful (very beautiful and alight with color). I know them to be genuinely warm, kind, intelligent, compassionate women.

What is a Real Man?

2009-09-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

I've been taking a 40-hour rape crisis training, and it has had a powerful impact on me. I'm going to be blogging a little about some of the things I've learned.

One of the most shocking things I learned was that "rape" is largely a crime committed by acquaintances rather than strangers. As a woman, I am always attentive to where I am, who is around me, checking the back-seat of my car before I get in, locking doors, etc. I am not going to stop doing those things that make me feel emotionally and physically safer, but I fully understand that crime is arbitrary, and victims of crime are deprived of their free will, safety and personal control when they are violated. That means that there is only so much a person can do to protect him or herself from a perpetrator. Ultimately, the perpetrator is the ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP A RAPE (crime). The perpetrator is choosing the violence; the victim is deprived of choice.

I've had some people say to me that they thought the movie, Taken, was a great film because they really related with the father taking action to protect his daughter. I agree it was entertaining and ultimately satisfying because it feels good to see an expression of strength and power acted out against a heinous injustice. However, my issue with the movie is that the theme is that violence is justified (and indeed, the only remedy) to fight violence. At the same time, so many movies display violence as the only means of resolving challenges that we do not realize what we are teaching people about power and how to exhibit it in our relationships in healthy and not destructive ways.

Every relationship, EVERY ONE, has power balances/imbalances. Some people respond aggressively when their personal power becomes threatened; some people respond with violence when they feel threatened. Some people only feel comfortable when they dominate other people. Opposing opinions challenging their point of view or their belief system will provoke a mighty reaction designed to shut down that threat.

On the other hand, some people know how to share power and create relationships where power balances are more even. When I speak as a feminist, or an advocate of equality, this is what I refer to. Violence in response to violence is in my opinion a continuation and perpetuation of efforts to dominate others through force, threat, fear, etc.

Rape is an act of power and control, and sex is the tool that is used to subjugate, humiliate and dominate the victim. It is unfortunately glamorized, and sexualized, in the media, in movies and in advertising, with imagery that promotes male dominance and objectifies women. However, women are not the only victims of rape; men are also victims of rape. (98% of male perpetrators are heterosexual males, btw, which further affirms rape as a crime of power and dominance rather than sex.)

There are two very powerful videos I would like to share with everyone. I watched them during my training in an environment where I was able to share my feelings with others in the training, in a way that helped me work through any feelings of anger, upset, etc.

After watching Tough Guise, I realized that I haven't done a good job of validating the sweet, kind, respectful, nurturing, compassionate qualities of the men in my life. I came home, hugged my man, and let him know in no uncertain terms how much I value his sensitivity, his generosity, his thoughtfulness and kindness. I LOVE that he allows himself to be soft and tender, and I have the deepest respect for the fact that he is vulnerable to me.

So, with that in mind, I have a few questions for you all to think about:

How do we define manhood & masculinity? Are we allowing media constructs to define masculinity as violent?

Do we nurture the sensitive, compassionate, gentle qualities of the men in our lives? Do we respect our men when they show vulnerability? How are we raising our sons to honor themselves and the women in their lives? Was does it mean to be a "man", to be "masculine"?

Here's the video: Tough Guise

This next video is Killing Us Softly 3, by Jean Kilbourne. This video was more disturbing and unsettling for me because of the offensiveness of some of the images she included as examples of how violence against women are glamorized and propagated in modern advertising. How can a constant bombardment of these images NOT in some way influence how we view ourselves (regardless of gender), or how we subconsciously or consciously feel we are expected to behave by those around us?

Warning, not for the easily offended. This video is more graphic, and there is some brief nudity, disturbing images and blunt language. I have to admit, after I saw this video, I definitely felt, "Men Suck," but now I'm feeling better. Just the sucky men suck.

Killing Us Softly 3, Jean Kilbourne:

Mormon Stories - Women in the LDS Church - A Gift Given, A Gift Taken: Washing, Anointing, and Blessing the Sick Among Mormon Women

2009-09-04T09:47:00.000-07:00

You can listen to this podcast at this link: 067: Women in the LDS Church Part 11 – A Gift Given, A Gift Taken: Washing, Anointing, and Blessing the Sick Among Mormon Women

I haven't listened all the way through, but I am familiar with the topic, as addressed in Sunstone articles, etc., and it has always been very interesting.

Utah Virtual Academy - to Homeschool, Public School or Some Variation Thereof

2009-09-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

I have had my children in public school for several years and prior to that, I homeschooled my oldest four children through preschool through the 3rd grade, and some of the older grades depending upon the needs of my children.

This year, my son Tristan and I decided to try the K12 program, which is available through the Utah Virtual Academy. It is offered through the public school system, so you get public school credit. You also get all of your books and materials provided to you, and some students qualify for a computer, printer and other items if they need one (on loan from the school system for the school year).

My son has struggled in public school, and found homeschooling boring and lonely, but he is LOVING the UTVA online program. There are social gatherings, clubs and field trips for kids to become socially involved with other UTVA students and their families. Because I work, it is challenging for me to participate in many social interactions during the daytime hours, but I have scheduled in the field trips and look forward to the school year.

The biggest change I have experienced with my son is he is taking responsibility for his school work. I don't have to chase him down. I do have to supervise and keep him focused on work, because the distractions of home (and of the gaming opportunities on the computer and internet) are so appealing, but he is doing very well. He likes that a lot of his school work is ON the computer, which is where he wants to be. He doesn't want to be sitting at a desk working out of work books. Also, we are going to start morning walks and hopefully move them into jogs as part of his physical fitness. I love having a buddy to walk with.

When we homeschooled, the financial obligation was high. We always looked for inexpensive ways to obtain materials, through the library, through creative exploration such as nature journals, etc, but the UTVA program is FREE. I was wary at first because I was concerned that the books would be awful, but so far I really like what I see.

We are only finishing our second week. It's been a little overwhelming adjusting, but frankly, it is a lot easier than what I have done in the past. The UTVA program sets up your schedule for you, breaks up the lessons and materials for each lesson and charts your course. I was really resistant to that part of the program. I like my autonomy and setting up my own schedule, etc., but I must say that this has become the most appealing aspect of the program. You can do your lessons any time of the day you want, and if you skip a lesson, it moves back to the next day that particular class is scheduled (such as science is only scheduled for two days each week). You can make it up anytime you want, though it is not recommended to allow too many lessons to fall behind.

My son says that he loves the UTVA, and it is 100 x's better than homeschool BECAUSE of the structure. We had structure before, but he particularly likes the structure provided to him by having his schedule on the computer, where he is accountable to me and a third party (his teacher). He signs on to his own account (I have a separate account), and reviews his daily schedule, and every time he completes a lesson, it is marked complete. He has regular assessments, all on the computer, and an occasional hand-written assignment he needs to submit by scanning and faxing to his teacher, and those assignments will be saved in a portfolio for the end of the year. I mark his attendance at the completion of his lessons.

He has a really cool Spanish language program, too, which is entirely online and somewhat interactive, plus he does "Study Island", which is a series of tests that are intended to be math review quizzes for regular practice and speed.

I highly recommend UTVA. I will send another review of the program later in the school year. So far, Tristan and I both give two thumbs up and I really wish I'd done this program with my older boys who struggled all through their middle school and high school years, and for whom we paid a lot of $ to put into a correspondence course for high school curriculum and a diploma.

I just wanted to share my experience with the other parents, and would love to hear from others about these same things, positive or negative.

S.J. Quinney College of Law Paper - "Kidnapped from that Land II: A Comparison of Two Raids to Save the Children from the Polygamists"

2009-08-31T07:15:00.001-07:00

You can download this paper here.

Here is the abstract:

Kidnapped from that Land II: A Comparison of Two Raids to Save the Children from the Polygamists

Linda F. Smith
University of Utah - S.J. Quinney College of Law

August, 27 2009

Abstract:

In the spring on 2008 America watched as over 400 children were removed from their polygamist parents on the Yearning for Zion Ranch in rural west Texas. That raid was eerily reminiscent of the Short Creek Raid of 1953, meant to rescue the children from the same polygamist group in Arizona and Utah. This article compares and contrasts the two raids in light of changes to child protection law in the intervening years. Despite advances in our understanding of child development and in our respect for constitutional rights, the Texas raid repeated and compounded the mistakes of the Short Creek raid. Ultimately the article explores why child protection laws are inappropriately used to attempt the rescue of children from authoritarian religions.

Keywords: child protection, child welfare, polygamy, religion
Working Paper Series
Date posted: August 28, 2009 ; Last revised: August 28, 2009
Suggested Citation

Smith, Linda F.,Kidnapped from that Land II: A Comparison of Two Raids to Save the Children from the Polygamists(August, 27 2009). Available at SSRN: http://ssrn.com/abstract=1463013

Primer Seeks to Break Down Stereotypes of Polygamy

2009-08-23T10:54:00.000-07:00

Primer Seeks To Break Down Sterotypes Of Polygamy
JENNIFER DOBNER, Associated Press Writer
Aug 23, 2009 11:11 am US/Mountain

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) ― Utah's polygamous families have helped create a revamped guidebook called The Primer that they hope will help combat what they consider to be myths and stereotypes about their culture.

The 65-page booklet is designed to give social workers, police and other service providers a better understanding of the tenets of polygamist's beliefs, unique family structures and even their language.

"We're going to continue to have those situations, but that doesn't mean that we can sit by when we are perceived incorrectly and not speak up," said Anne Wilde of Salt Lake City, a plural wife for 33 years and now a widow. "By having a primer that has our input and expresses things the way we want to have them expressed I think is very helpful. It gives us a voice."

Bigamy is illegal in Utah and Arizona, where most of the Intermountain West's polygamists live. But Utah authorities have rarely prosecuted adults, focusing instead on crimes involving women and children.

Historically, fear of prosecution has kept most plural families from seeking public services. When they did, service providers often tried to "rescue" them from their religion, Wilde and other polygamists say.

Released last week at a training conference, the Primer was produced by the Safety Net Committee, an outreach program working with polygamous communities and public and private service agencies in Utah and Arizona. The guide is an updated version of one produced in 2005 by the Utah Attorney General's office.

Polygamists believed the first Primer unfairly portrayed them as victims trapped in religious groups where abuse permeated the culture.

The rewrite sought to find more neutral language and to show that plural families face many of the same challenges as other families. In drafting the new version polygamous groups were asked to clarify or correct information about their specific cultural practices, Safety Net Committee Coordinator Pat Merkley said.

The Primer's information also includes a history of polygamy in the Intermountain West, a glossary of terms and concepts, and a description of the various groups and their respective leadership structures.

"I think we're speaking in their language and in their terms," she said. "This is the best work we could possibly do. It's as neutral as it could be, and people are still not going to like part of it."

The information from polygamous groups is balanced against input from critics of the culture, definitions of abuse and an overview of the Utah and Arizona laws that make polygamy illegal.

Still, just having it makes a difference, said Merkley, a licensed social worker who had no such blueprint when she first began working with plural families some 20 years ago.

"It would have made me be culturally sensitive and aware and alert," she said. "When I did work with plural families it was a challenge to even know the language they were speaking."

Among the terms and practices defined in the Primer:

— Reassignment: The practice of giving an excommunicated man's wives and children to another man. Some polgyamists believe wives and children belong to the church, not the husband.

— Law of Placement: A type of arranged marriage that sometimes has involved underage girls. Couples are matched by church leaders after consultation with parents. Currently leaders of all the major group have denounced underage marraige.

— United Order: A system of communal living that calls for families to share their earning and serve others in the community.

Terms and practices can also vary depending on which polygamous group a family is from, said Mary Batchelor, a Safety Net committee member, who with Wilde founded the polygamy advocacy group Principle Voices.

"I don't think there was a single word or single sentence that did not get argued," Batchelor said of the new guide. "I think there's always still the risk that (the information) can stereotype people, so we stress that it's really important to ask individuals families, 'Does this apply to you?'"

Polygamy across the Intermountain West is a legacy of the early Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which brought the practice to Utah in 1847. The Mormon church abandoned plural marriage in 1890 as Utah pushed for statehood and now excommunicates those who advocate or practice the principle. Fundamentalists continue to believe polygamy is essential for exaltation in the next life.

A survey by Principle Voices found an estimated 37,000 self-described Mormon fundamentalists live across the Intermountain West and western Canada who either live or believe in polygamy.

Most don't affiliate with any group, but the Primer identifies 11 distinct polygamous communities ranging in size from about 150 to 10,000.

"I think it's appropriate to call us a culture," said Batchelor, whose own plural family was fractured by a divorce. "This guide is going to be a really good resource for people willing to check their biases at the door and treat clients from polygamy like clients from any other culture."

The New Safety Net Primer is Released!

2009-08-18T11:36:00.001-07:00

The new Primer has been released by the Utah & AZ Safety Net. The Primer can be viewed online on the Utah Attorney General's website.

The Primer is "A Guidebook for Law Enforcement and Human Services Agencies who offer Assistance to Fundamentalist Mormon Families".

We are very excited to see the updated version available as a resource for service providers and those in law enforcement. It was a great deal of effort (a full time job for some!) and we congratulate the Safety Net team on the finished product.

I have added a permanent link to the Primer on the left menu bar under Services and Resources.

To My Husband ~

2009-08-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

I do not claim to be a poet, but I do appreciate good poetry. I dedicate the following to my husband, who is my true love:

Where true Love burns Desire is Love's pure flame;
It is the reflex of our earthly frame,
That takes its meaning from the nobler part,
And but translates the language of the heart.

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

*****

My delight and thy delight
Walking, like two angels white,
In the gardens of the night:

My desire and thy desire
Twinning to a tongue of fire,
Leaping live, and laughing higher;
Thro' the everlasting strife
In the mystery of life.

Love, from whom the world begun,
Hath the secret of the sun.

Love can tell and love alone,
Whence the million stars are strewn,
Why each atom knows its own,
How, in spite of woe and death,
Gay is life, and sweet is breath:

This he taught us, this we knew,
Happy in his science true,
Hand in hand as we stood
'Neath the shadows of the wood,
Heart to heart as we lay
In the dawning of the day.

~ Robert Bridges

*****

This is to the crown and blessing of my life,
The much loved husband of a happy wife;
To him whose constant passion found the art
To win a stubborn and ungrateful heart,
And to the world by tenderest proof discovers
They err, who say that husbands can't be lovers.
With such return of passion, as is due,
Daphnis I love, Daphinis my thoughts pursue;
Daphnis, my hopes and joys are bounded all in you.
Even I, for Daphnis' and my promise' sake,
What I in woman censure, undertake.
But this from love, not vanity proceeds;
You know who writes, and I who 'tis that reads.
Judge not my passion by my want of skill:
Many love well, though they express it ill;
And I your censure could with pleasure bear,
Would you but soon return, and speak it here.

To A Husband
Anne Finch

Open Mic Night with Kingston Families - Cool!

2009-08-02T09:09:00.001-07:00

My family was invited to participate in a Kingston family open mic night a few days ago. It was really fun!

Seriously, I expected maybe 40 people, but there were over a 100 people there of all ages, but mostly teens.

Now I've been to a few of their family picnics and I can tell you there were hundreds of people at those things, and the kids just have a blast.

They have barbecues, used clothing exchanges, snow cones, talent shows, "battle of the bands", choir performances, games. It's really been fun, even though we are outsiders and most of the people there don't know who we are (and probably think some kooky neighbors have wandered over for the activities!).

On the night of "open mic", I was really surprised and impressed with the number of talented teenagers who took the stage and played their own instruments, many of whom had even written their own music & lyrics. Most of them played the guitar, and there were some bands with electric guitars and drums, and some teens sang with karaoke music.

It was modern music, a mixture of pop and rock. There was an encouraging, supportive and friendly spirit to the crowd. Everyone cheered for everyone else. The teens were boisterous and the parents beaming with pride.

There were some other independents there. A daughter of one plural family we love and admire is a very talented performer, and she played the guitar for herself as she sang a couple of songs.

My husband and I sang "The Prayer" near the end, feeling a little out of place, but the teens were as boisterous and supportive of our song as they were for their own, and many complimented us afterward and asked where they could find the music. Our teens had competing work and social calendars so they didn't attend, but I'm going to insist they get the night free next time and participate.

It was a blast and I can't think of a more encouraging and supportive environment for kids to practice singing, playing guitar, and performing than that family event!

Peaceful Protest at Matheson Courthouse July 29

2009-07-28T23:08:00.000-07:00

July 29, 2009

Friends,

The FLDS are gathering in peaceful protest outside the Matheson courthouse on Wednesday, July 29th, at 9 a.m., in response to Judge Lindberg's rulings last week that threw out the settlement agreement proposals mediated between the FLDS and the Utah Attorney General's office. Principle Voices is not taking a position on the Berry Knoll sale to be addressed in the hearing.

This issue is much bigger, and has far reaching implications for all who embrace plural marriage.

Principle Voices opposes:

1) any ruling that deprives polygamists of the right to organize or manage a trust with their own assets.

2) any ruling that declares a trust formed by polygamists as "promoting illegal activities", "invalid", un-Constitutional, or "illegal", simply because the organizers embrace plural marriage.

3) any ruling that deprives the FLDS (or any other polygamists) of the right to access their own assets or their right to self-governance. (By extension, substitute the name of any other group such as the Kingstons or the AUB, etc., in place of FLDS; we oppose any ruling or government action that would deprive any of those communities of their rights.)

4) any ruling or government action that establishes an inequity in the law that distinguishes, and diminishes, the rights of polygamists from the rights of other American citizens.

This is an historic and potentially life-changing event for our families and communities. Principle Voices and representatives of several polygamous communities will join the FLDS July 29, to show our support and stand in opposition to this travesty.

Mary Batchelor
Director

Anne Wilde
Community/media relations

principlevoices at comcast.net

UEP Trust "Promotes Polygamy"???

2009-07-25T15:39:00.000-07:00

Judge Lindberg's ruling quoted below in the Salt Lake Tribune's plural life blog asserts that because the FLDS openly "promulgate" "plural marriage", the UEP trust (which the FLDS created and funded for decades and which is now under court oversight) violates "basic trust law". She states that "a trust to promote polygamy is illegal".

I would understand her assertion, if it were actually true that the UEP trust was created to "promote polygamy". However, the UEP trust was organized to provide a common economic order for its beneficiaries to live within, an ideology espoused and practiced by early Mormons as "consecration". The UEP trust was not designed specifically to "promote polygamy", but to support those who organized and funded it, many of whom believed in and practiced polygamy as one tenet of their faith.

Let me ask a few questions:
If someone practices polygamy and is employed as a construction worker, is the employing construction company guilty of promulgating the practice of polygamy by paying the employee for his work? If a person is a polygamist and creates a business, is that business promoting polygamy because its owner generates income from it to support his/her family?

If a trust is considered invalid, does the state have the right to seize it, govern it and thereby dominate and subjugate the individuals who organized and funded the trust? If a trust is declared invalid, shouldn't it simply be dissolved and the assets revert back to original ownership (or as close to it as possible)? Does the state or any court have the power to absorb private trust assets or give them to other people, based on the fact that the state and/or court do not approve of the beliefs and or practices of the organizers or beneficiaries of said trust?

If a person is convicted of a crime, let's say a felony crime, does that person lose his/her right to property ownership? to inheritance? to life insurance? to any claim of trust assets? No, unless the money came as a direct result of the crime; a convicted criminal is not allowed to financially benefit from a crime. So if someone murders someone else and writes a book about it, he would not be permitted to get rich off of his crime and subsequent retelling of it.

While people who practice polygamy are not being charged and convicted with bigamy so long as they are consenting adults, their practice of polygamy is being used as a weapon against them in a variety of surreptitious and sinister ways in many aspects of their lives. (In fact, even a mere belief in polygamy is sufficient for some to justify harassment, vandalism, discrimination and other abuses upon an individual or a family...)

Business ownership, employment, property rights, inheritance rights, rentals, public assistance... what's next?

Interpretations of rental laws that encourage landlords to deny renting to anyone who might be guilty of a crime? After all, if they rent to a polygamist or to a plural wife, are they in some way supporting polygamy by giving polygamists a place to live? Next it'll be that employers can't hire polygamists because the company would be guilty of funding a polygamist family (for such horrendous things as enabling polygamous parents to put food on the table, buy their children clothing, house their family, access medical care, etc.), or realtors will be unwilling to sell property to a polygamist for fear that they are conspiring in the promotion of polygamy, or helping a polygamist enter a neighborhood...

If the argument is that trust $ were used to traffic women or something, that is different from polygamy. It is certainly different from a trust providing support to families to meet their day to day food, clothing, shelter, medical, dental, etc., needs.

How far will these laws be stretched to injure polygamous families?

MPB

************

THE UEP SAGA . . .
The Plural Life Blog, Salt Lake Tribune
Posted on July 23, 2009, 10:28 am, by Brooke, under United Effort Plan (UEP).

In her ruling on the UEP Trust yesterday, 3rd District Judge Denise Lindberg made this comment:

“Furthermore, distributing the land to the FLDS church violates basic trust law. The FLDS openly promulgate the practice of plural marriage and under previous Trust administration by FLDS leadership, trust assets were allegedly used in furtherance of this illegal practice.”

She then cites the “Restatement (Second) of Trusts, at 371 Comment (e):

“A trust to promote a religious organization or doctrine is invalid if it is criminal or against public policy. Thus, a trust to promote polygamy is illegal, even though the belief in polygamy is one of the tenets of a religious sect.”

That comment should have caught the attention of polygamous groups throughout Utah and Arizona; most, if not all, operate property trusts.

Please follow this link for the rest of this blog entry at the Salt Lake Tribune's Plural Life blog.

Legal Conference: Family or Felony? Polygamy and the Law

2009-07-14T08:06:00.001-07:00

Principle Voices is pleased to announce our first legal conference:

Please join us!

Principle Voices Decries Brutal Murders of American Citizens in Mexico

2009-07-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

We have been shocked and devastated to hear of the brutal murders of Benjamin LeBaron (32) and Luis Widmar (29), both American citizens and fathers of five young children each.

Benjamin had the courage to speak out against crime when his brother Eric was kidnapped. Luis came to help him when armed men forced their way into Benjamin's home and attacked him. Both men were killed and left on the road nearby a cemetery.

These men were not polygamists, but they were associated with settlements founded by polygamous LeBaron families. They showed courage and character in their lives; their families deserve respect and support.

For the most part, they have been treated that way, primarily by the media who have reported on the murders with care. Occasionally there has been a report here and there that maligned the victims and their families because of their polygamous background, and that was unacceptable. Even had these men been polygamists, their beliefs or the beliefs/lifestyle of other members of their community, have NOTHING to do with the fact that they were victims of a horrific crime. From what we've been told by family and friends, they were good men, and beloved husbands and fathers, and will be greatly missed.

I have said on my blog many times that fundamentalist Mormons (and those practicing polygamy) need and deserve the same access to services, law enforcement help and support as anyone else. They are victims of crime like everyone else. I know people who've had their cars stolen, their homes and vehicles vandalized, their identities stolen; they've been victims of assault, burglary, domestic violence, abuse, etc., primarily from people not affiliated with the culture, but sometimes from within, too.

This is why we work actively with the Safety Net, and why we advocate for understanding and education for service providers, law enforcement, government and non-government entities. Sometimes a police officer will be called to the home of a polygamist who has been a victim of a crime. It may be the husband, a wife, or one of the children who has been victimized. If the offender is not a member of their own family, or another polygamist, THEIR own family arrangement should NOT be made an issue.

If you are a service provider, a victim advocate, a social worker, a therapist, or are affiliated with law enforcement, please consider attending the Safety Net Clinical Training, to be held at the University of Utah on August 17th, 2009.

Plural Family Q&A on Salt Lake Tribune's Plural Life Blog

2009-07-13T11:13:00.000-07:00

Great Q&A on Salt Lake Tribune's Plural Life blog. This is an awesome family that is part of the AUB community (Allred group). LOVE THEM!!!

Safety Net Clinical Training

2009-06-30T06:31:00.000-07:00

This is the way to help people:

The Safety Net is hosting a clinical training August 17th, at the University of Utah college of social work, that will provide 7 social work CEU's:

The 1st Annual Safety Net Clinical Training Conference: Building Bridges of Safety, Collaboration, Education and Outreach; Working with Polygamous Family Systems, a Culturally Guided Approach to Service Provision.

Principle Voices actively supports the Utah/Arizona Safety Net and encourages every service provider, shelter worker, victim's advocate, therapist, and anyone else who may at some point find themselves working with a plural family, to attend this clinical training.

You can see the flyer for this training at the Plural Life link: Safety Net. The sponsor of this event is The Family Support Center, a fantastic organization that serves families in crisis, poverty, etc., to "protect children, strengthen families and prevent child abuse."

If you are interested in a registration form, send an email request to Pat.merkley at familysupportcenter.org.

Cardiology Visit Went Well

2009-06-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

Great news on Friday - My daughter's heart has not worsened. The good news is that her heart appears to be stable and we even got better news: one of her heart valves is growing the way it should, and that valve is apparently the one that would be a harder repair. The other valve will likely need to be repaired/replaced in time, but is currently doing well. That valve is an "easier" repair, according to the cardiologist. She was pretty happy, and we are elated.

Holly got two tokens at the hospital, to use in the toy machines. She got a little silver necklace and a leather bracelet. She let her little sister wear one all day yesterday, which made her feel very special.

Thanks everyone for your well wishes. :o)

Pediatric Cardiology Check-Up for Our Daughter Holly

2009-06-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

My daughter Holly has a cardiology check-up Friday morning. She is now being seen every six months instead of every year because her cardiologist noticed a negative trend in her blood flow of her pulmonary artery. I admit I am worried. We've had good news for years from her doctors, even clearly some that surprised her doctors, and the last two appointments haven't been as easy.

My cardiologist and pediatrician have had to give me bad news before, some that left me crying. I hate to cry in front of my doctors; they're so wonderful, though, so professional and at the same time warm and calm. They deliver their news in a way that the blow is gentle even when it hurts.

At the last visit to the cardiologist, we were told that she was going to need another heart surgery. We always knew that was a possibility, but were happy and un-threatened every year she received glowing reports from her cardiology visits.

Holly was born with tetralogy of fallot, which is a specific heart condition only seen in people who have down syndrome (I've been told). She had four holes in her heart, a partially formed valve, a narrow pulmonary artery and her right ventricle was smaller than her left (a 60/40 [left/right] comparison).

Holly at 6 months, 1998:
She had open heart surgery at a year old. The surgeon used some of her own tissue, and some donor tissue, to reconstruct her valve, and repair the holes. He reconstructed the valve in a manner that created a better balance between the two ventricles than 60/40.

Throughout her first year, she needed oxygen initially at nights, then steadily more often until she was on oxygen round the clock. After surgery, she dramatically improved and went on oxygen only when she got pneumonia shortly after her surgery, or when she has been very sick over the years.

Holly with daddy the day of surgery, right before sedation, Oct. 1998:

Prior to her surgery, there were times when her arms and legs would become "mottled," with a slight purpling. Initially, she was hospitalized for observation. They told me she had "sluggish" blood; her circulation was slow. Well, what was happening was her heart had to work twice (or four times) as hard to pump oxygen into her body as normal.

We learned that Holly has long lungs (and an enlarged heart), a fact every x-ray technician appreciates being told (saving each one from having to repeat the x-ray for failure to capture all of the lungs).

Holly has never had to go on medication. When she got cellulitis a couple of years ago, she had a hard battle fighting that infection. Her cardiologist was out of the country at the time we went in to the hospital. The cardiologist on call who took her case immediately wanted to put her on heart medication, even though I explained to him that her regular cardiologist had not felt it was necessary. He wanted to send her home on it, too, along with her IV antibiotics (she had to be on those for over 8 weeks, round the clock). I resented sending her home on heart medication because she had never needed it before, and I wasn't convinced she needed it now on a permanent basis. Thankfully, shortly before we went home, Holly's cardiologist returned from her trip, and visited her at the hospital before we went home. She determined she didn't need the medication and cut it.

At Holly's last cardiology visit, we were told to watch for significant signs of heart issues. I was thinking, "shortness of breath" or breathing struggles, but the cardiologist said we needed to watch for any complaint of chest pain.

Holly hasn't complained of anything like that. She has had a cold the last few weeks and I've noticed the "mottling" again on and off, too. It happens occasionally when the seasons change and she gets cold, or when she's not drinking enough water. I can usually remedy it fairly rapidly if I pump in the fluids.

I'm genuinely nervous about Friday's visit. The cardiologist has said that they won't do another open heart surgery until the risks of not doing the surgery outweigh the risks of doing the surgery. It all sounds pretty terrifying to me, but I've been there before and I've faced this fear with my children many times when they've been sick.

The image that keeps coming into my mind is of her recovery shortly after surgery. She was in the PICU, with all kinds of tubes and wires all over her body. She was lying in her crib sleeping, which was the only time I felt I could sneak out to the go to the bathroom or grab something to it (when my husband or parents weren't there).

Holly, in PICU after heart surgery, with 4 IVs, 2 pacemaker connections, 3 drainage tubes, and 3 respirator tubes in mouth and nose; Oct 1, 1998, day of surgery:
Her crib was the first one you could see as you walked in the PICU doors. I left to get some lunch, and when I came back, Holly was sitting up with a nurse holding her and checking her vitals. Holly saw me and reached her arms out to me. I can't remember if she called out to me; I would have to look through my journal to remember if she was actually talking at that point.

All I know is that that moment said MOM in such an amazing way.

It's not the only time she has touched me so deeply. Her sweet spirit reached out to me before she was born, when I was pregnant with her. I was six months along when we found out she had tetralogy of fallot, and likely down syndrome. We were pretty shaken up, and after my husband headed back to work, I drove myself home in tears, and kept asking myself if we had done something to cause this to her, to inflict this condition on her. At the time, there was a possibility she wouldn't survive at birth, but that was just the beginning of her brushes with death.

I cried and cried, and then there was just a flash of knowledge in my mind, and I knew it was her: "I chose this body." It was just like that, this impression into my mind that was very firm, "I CHOSE this body," followed with, "You are my mom, stand up for me."

It came from her. It changed everything for me. I felt my responsibility as her mother to look out for my baby, to fight for her life and look out for her rights as a child with special needs (don't all our children have "special" needs, anyway? They're not clones of each other!)

I knew she had down syndrome, even though we didn't get the test until after she was born, and it didn't mean anything to me in the least. She wasn't broken or inflicted or cursed. She has down syndrome.

Holly is one of the most genuine, guileless, loving, gracious, thoughtful, talented human beings I have ever met. I have always felt that she brought faith into our family, faith and hope, and a reminder to slow down and pay attention to what is really important.

I don't want to lose her. I pray that all will be well, and that we will face whatever comes with courage and faith, and love.

Holly & her brother playing with the laundry 9 months after surgery, July 1999:

Holly in Moab in 2006:

That was fun - and Kris WON!

2009-05-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Kris Allen for sweeping American Idol the last several weeks.

That was a great show. I really liked the top three this year, especially, and enjoyed the stars they brought out to sing with them tonight.

This is one of those shows we watch as a family, and it's been a fun season for us.

Kara DioGuardi Steals Bakini Girl's Thunder!!!

2009-05-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed when Kara showed up behind Bakini Girl to show off her fantastic, polished singing. Our family erupted with cheers, and laughed our heads off when she ripped open her dress.

Way to go, Kara!