disheveled

where i've been

2008-10-25T19:14:00.002-04:00

oh boy -- moved, got a new job, and have been runnin on empty!

but life is good. the new library is challenging, to say the least!

Home Again

2008-04-30T19:24:00.002-04:00

So - before I begin what I thought I would blog about, let me tell you... This is my 100th post! Who knew?! I didn't even know until I just logged in right now and saw on my dashboard that I had written 99 posts... so then this must be number 100. How cool. For other bloggers, I suppose the 100 milestone may not be all that important -- they can do that in just a few months, while for me, its taken years -- but you have to understand that I am the kind of person where doing ANYTHING for the 100th time is a miracle. As you can already tell from the sporadic and downright disturbing infrequency of my blogging... I dont stick with things as a "regular" thing... I am, should I say... Disheveled!

So - back to what I came here to write about... The Jersey Girl is back in town! As some of you know, I recently moved away from the great Garden State to become a director, but, the draw of the ocean was too much for me,.... Nah! I'm really here because of prior commitments to the NJLA Spring Conference. And its funny to see old friends, old "enemies!?" (do librarians really have enemies?? I'd like to just call them "haters"), and old acquaintances. The past 2 days have been really great, and we have one more to go tomorrow.

Which leads me to the question of today .... What songs make you think of returning home again? Here are 3 off the top of my head:

Thin Lizzy: The Boys Are Back In Town
U2: A Sort Of Homecomming
Simon & Garfunkel: Keep The Customer Satisfied

A rather hodge-podge of old and older, if I do say so myself! Can you think of those quintessential tunes that remind you of coming back home again? Drop me a line if you do!

Also - Lastly -- Since this Jersey Girl has made her way to a new state and a new job, she's also created a new blog to document the journey. If you are interested in reading all about it, send me an email and I'll send you the link. In the meantime, I will try to post to Disheveled when I can -- I can't say it will be with any regularity, but it (hopefully) will be worth it!

I am Green Lantern!

2008-04-02T23:35:00.000-04:00

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern		90%
Spider-Man		80%
Batman		80%
Superman		75%
Supergirl		75%
Wonder Woman		65%
Robin		57%
Hulk		55%
Iron Man		55%
Catwoman		50%
The Flash		20%

Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Coming Home

2007-12-24T10:42:00.001-05:00

Welcome back, O Faithful Reader! Sorry it has been so long!

I have been truly sick lately. Even a trip to the ER has not been able to remedy whatever it is that is running amuck in my belly. Its like swallowing fire, and having mini volcanoes exploding all the time in my intestines -- sometimes its by my ribs, sometimes by my back, sometimes in my mid-gut.... Its just awful. I had my gallbladder removed almost 15 years ago, and if I didn't know better, I would swear I grew another one that has gone bad!

So - Being sick, I've been trying not to be too ornery. No one likes a person who is sick and miserable. So since the traditional things of cheering up, such as comfort food, have been out of the question, I've been doing other things.

For instance - I watched Holiday Inn with my kids. Oh Bing! We feel so sorry for you! And Fred Astaire! What a jerk to be so mean to Bing! It was so sweet to curl up with my kids under the big blanket and watch all the dancing and singing.... Just great. Its been too long since I've seen just a regular good old movie. Lately everything we've seen has been trash. I'm too old for things like SuperBad. Totally Not Funny!

For instance, part two -- I went to the bookstore and bought myself one of my all time favorite books, and am reading it again, because it is just so awsomely great. Now, before I tell you what it IS, I will tell you what it ISN'T: My usual authors are Tess Gerritsen, Harlan Coben, Kathy Reichs, the guys that do the Agent Pendergast books (Preston&Child?),... You get the picture -- I like creepy, page turning, suspenseful, and gory... But with character driven plots.

But even having said this, I also love books like Cold Sassy Tree, the Stephanie Plum books, the vampire books by Mary Janice Davidson...books by Joe R.Lansdale... books that are simplistic, silly, or just plain old good reads.

And yet - the one I am reading now is like Coming Home -- It is so familiar (even though I've only read it once before), and so warm and welcoming, it truly is a comfort read, and it is so completely Not what I normally read. It is Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. Haven't picked it up yet? What are you waiting for? Run! This book is fantastic. No -- The Series is fantastic. I can't remember how many there are -- 5? 6? They are each over 600 or 700 pages, but I tell you, it goes by too fast! I just started Outlander yesterday, and I'm on page 242. You will love this book. Pretend that I am Oprah for a moment and I am shouting "Ouuuutttlaaaandeer!!!" to the audience (You!) It's That good. I daresay its in my top 5 - No - top 3 of all books I've ever read.

But I warn you -- Don't go looking on the Internet for other fans of the Outlander series -- I did that once, and it was scary. Fear the Outlander ladies. They're all like "Oh Jamie, Oh Jamie," and yes, the character Jamie is completely gorgeous and Hot does not even cut it, but the book really is about so much more. Claire, the main character, is a woman like no other. The adventures she has are like no other. And yes, the love they have is like no other... But its just so freakin great, you will easily put aside your dislike of romance, historical fiction, blah blah, and get over it quick --- this book is a page turner that will stay with you - truly - as one of the best books you have ever read.

Ahhhh. I feel better already!

Short of stable

2007-10-18T20:40:00.000-04:00

I heard 'Shimmer' by Fuel today and it just seemed so fitting, and yet it didn't fit at all. I was thinking more about work at the time rather than relationships, but somehow it all meshed.

Anyway. I am having a cell phone problem. I dropped my phone the other day and broke the battery. So I got another battery, but now my phone persistently says I have a voice mail, when I don't. Everytime I turn the phone on, it has that voice mail icon all lit up and in the way. I can't seem to lose it -- So , I now Hate My Phone.

Speaking of phones, I was on a train the other day from Baltimore back to NJ, where I overheard the most disturbing thing. I think this goes into the Number One spot in the Top Ten Countdown of Most Inappropriate Things To Say On A Cellphone When There Are Other People Present. Brace yourselves, people.

The man across the aisle from me was explaining to someone (a friend, perhaps?) about how he and his wife had sat their 2 children down (Lilly and Jake) to tell them that mommy's baby had failed to grow and was now not going to be coming into this world. "We told them, sometimes babies just stop growing,"....pause..."yea, Jake didn't understand, but Lilly was a little upset over not getting a baby sister,"...

!!!!!!

Is it in any way disrespectful to the wife that this guy was spilling all this in public on the train to New Jersey? Or, is this kind of a thing OK, and our lives are no longer private? Is it just me?

If you can't say it yourself...

2007-10-04T19:25:00.000-04:00

Then let someone else say it!

And so -- Words to describe my thoughts are brought to you tonight by that fantastically gravelly voiced Jim Reid of the Jesus and Mary Chain

Makes you want to feel
Makes you want to try
Makes you want to blow the stars from the sky
I can't stand up
I can't cool down
I can't get my head up off the ground

what a great track -- go take a listen if you don't know what I mean

Road Trip Part II

2007-09-23T19:54:00.000-04:00

So we made it home. What a fantastic trip! I'm not much of a gambler, and I didn't know what to expect at Mohegan Sun -- but the place was beautiful, very clean, and an amazing amount of fun.

We got there early -- around 3 ish, and headed to the bar. Drinks and people watching. Perfect.

Next up - Gambling -- Slot machines, more drinks, smoking in public, hanging out and laughing.

Time for food -- Sliders at the bar were de-lish. Again, more drinks. By this time I'm starting to feel a little sick, but a walk about, another smoke, and I'm feeling much better.

We wrap our way through Mohegan, and find ourselves in like the Disney of gambling paradise. The place is freakin huge!

Off to the concert then - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts opens. Fan-F-Ing-Tastic, that band can rock. It was everything you wanted to hear, plus a few new ones that were just as good. She had the crowd going, and it was hilarious to watch them from our high in the upper decks view!

Then - lights come up - we make a quick beer run - and then back in for Aerosmith. Only down note was that to get a beer you had to show id. Period. No id, no beer. My sister is 50 years old! But I was the only one carrying an id, so I had to buy a beer on one line, then snake my way through to another line, and buy a beer there... You get the picture. I mean, how dumb is that?

Anyway - So the old boys get on stage, and I have to say, the first 3 or 4 songs were fantastic. Then, I don't know what happened. Next thing I know, Joe and Steve are sittin in chairs, and then Steve's off to the side of the stage for quite a while as the guitars are playing, and then from there I just kinda got bored.... I hate to say that, but they did a Lot of posturing, posing, making faces into the camera, I guess they were being.... Aerosmith! They did do an interesting version of Dream On, and the guy in front of me almost had a heart attack from flailing his arms around so much. The crowd really did make the show so much fun -- there were people of all ages just having a good time, acting goofy, and it was fun to be a part of it all.

So the show ends, and we make our way down the steep stair, and the chick in front of us totally nerfs down the steps, falling into a bunch of those hard plastic melded to the concrete chairs... Unbelievable, and, Hilarious. We waited for her friend to heave her up and onto her feet, and headed out of the stadium.

Coffee, smokes, bed, breakfast, on the road again, and home by mid-morning. Perfect.

Next weekend -- Dude Ranch in Upstate NY with 27 family members -- Stay tuned!

Road Trip

2007-09-20T09:13:00.000-04:00

I'm off today on a Road Trip with my 2 sisters, and Very Psyched. Although we've done tons of family vacations together, its never been just the 3 of us, so this should be really cool, and totally interesting. My sisters are 16 and 14 years older than me, so because of the generational gap, I've always felt a bit out of the loop, but I think this trip will be completely awesome.

And you'll never guess what we're doing.... We're headed up to Mohegan Sun to see Aerosmith! Yikes! I was never a fan, but they should rock -- let's hope.

Is it any wonder

2007-09-15T09:31:00.000-04:00

I was driving around about 2 weeks ago, listening to the radio, and not quite paying attention, when I heard the phrase "is it any wonder" coming out of the song I was listening to, and it struck me -- the song is new -- I can't recall who the artist was... Perhaps a new Smashing Pumpkins, or a new White Stripes song? But anyway, I started to think -- how cool to use that phrase "is it any wonder" -- It says quite a lot in something so simple. Its like, "c'mon, you knew it would be this way, so why are you boggled by it..." I can hear the Bowie classic melody in my head, with the "wonder" part up in high notes, and the Styx song about too much time on his hands.... Is it any wonder... When you put things into perspective like that, it all just makes sense!

Silver Lining

2007-08-16T12:38:00.000-04:00

Something I saw this morning made me stop dead in my tracks and go "What the #*$&!"

It was so unbelievable and horrid, I am Shaken To The Core. Really. Shaken. Like, Can This Be True, Shaken.

I guess I just never expected it.

I mean, I saw the signs elsewhere... A little silver strand here, a little hint of white glimmering there,

...but those were always in my head!

Now, Today, They have Attacked My Eyes!!!

Yes folks, its true. I've been cursed to the Land of Old Age....

I have Not ONE, but TWO ---

GRAY EYELASHES!!!!

And now, I am Doomed! Doomed I tell you! For the rest of my days I will have to mask my horridness in gloopy black mascara! Oh the horror!

DHMBIS

2007-07-25T22:14:00.000-04:00

Don't hate me because I'm stupid... Tales of the Ride Home, Part 1

So I worked late tonight - till 9pm, and headed home. It was a beautiful hot summer night, windows down, radio blaring, and I'm floating along at a cool 55mph singing "heaven help me, heaven help me, take this stranger, from my boat..." It's "I'm Your Captain," and if you are ever driving on a hot summer night with the windows down, and are cruising along a 2 lane old country road, you'll know what sheer enjoyment that is.

So then, I catch up to the car in front of me -- An old van going about 30 mph. And I'm still singing "I'm getting closer to my home..." and enjoying myself, but then this bit of going 20 miles per hour under the speed limit starts to have its effect. Its like killing my mood, like one big buzz kill to have this hulking van in front of me with the tapping of the brakes and the not being able to see around him, and the song being ruined and all. I mean, it's Grand Funk Railroad, for the love of g-d -- Get a move on!

So my inner Jeckyl/Hyde takes over, and I slam my wrist into the steering thingy to honk at this slow poke who must be just a frickin moron, and the horn sounds, and then IT GETS STUCK. Yes. Stuck. In the BLARING HORN mode that I didn't know existed.

So then Slow Guy is so flippin slow, we get stopped at the only traffic light in this back-wooded road, and I have to sit there cringing and shrinking into my seat as the horn just blares on.

Needless to say, I missed the end of the song.

I drive a mile or so up the road to a gas station and jump out of the car, horn still lighting up the night with its raucous note. I THINK I HAVE A PROBLEM - I say to the gas attendant. He throws down his cigarette and motions to me to pop the hood, since talking is kinda out of the question.

A kid comes up on a bicycle and asks WHAT DID YOU DO

A lady walks out of her house across the street from the gas station, hands on hips, and scowls at me.

The gas guy can't seem to figure anything out, so he calls the owner of the gas station, while I call triple A, who, by the way, was very nice to me on the phone, considering I couldn't really hear what she was saying, but I very clearly did hear her laugh when I said it would be impossible for me to wait an hour like this, and couldn't the guy come right away!?

So then I take out the owners manual in my glove, thinking perhaps GM could shed some light on how the heck to turn off the horn.

Page 117 of my manual, under HORN, states, that to activate the horn one must depress the little horn symbol on the steering column. Thanks. Thanks. No really. That is very helpful.

About 15 minutes later, gas guy and his trusty flashlight find the tiny little tab you need to pull out to make the horn stop. People -- its the size of my pinky finger nail.

I call AAA, cancel my distress call, and turn to face the 2 gas guys and kid on bike. How did this happen? they all want to know. And I did it. The thing I hate to do, but at the moment, I just couldn't bring myself to tell them the awful truth, so I said "I don't know - I was just driving along, and it went off," (once I hit it, I say in my head) -- I just couldn't be honest at that moment in time. I felt like such an idiot. And it was late. And a long day. And I just wanted to crawl under the car and hide my head in shame.

So - I've told you the truth of the matter. I'm a crazy lady NJ driver who had a bit of lite road rage gone awry. I guess this lesson is learned. Honking is No Good. Got It. Won't happen again.

At least, not until I get my car fixed! :)

Sound bytes

2007-07-10T21:41:00.000-04:00

Do you ever just stop for a second and listen to what the heck you are saying? I work as a branch manager, so of course I answer many many questions during the day. Here are some random answers from things that I was asked in the course of one very long day:

"And so you decided to re-write Shakespeare?"

"Yes, Johnny Depp is delicious."

"No, I don't think its a good idea to open the dvd cases with a mallet."

"Why do you think its so hard to work here?" (said to the person that makes working here incredibly hard for others)

"Well, the way it works, is that if you work 20 hours, and take 7 hours of vacation, and 7 hours were a holiday, and 1 hour was sick, then your timesheet should say 20 + 7V + 7H + 1S = 35...." (which I then repeated about 15 more times until people just gave up and decided it was best just to go along with it.)

"Yes, I think that if you are unsure of how to do it, you should ask for help"

"No, our building is not on Monmouth and 2nd Ave." (Said to the person IN the library, who clarified with me our correct address, but then asked if we were on a completely different corner. It was totally amusing. In their defense, the library did move about 10 years ago from that corner, but it was pretty funny all the same to be asked a few times a few varying ways the same question.

"No, I am not 'out to get' anyone. I swear!"

"Everything that happened thus far was under the direct orders from X, and now X is telling you to ask me why I did everything incorrectly!?"

And lastly, my fave of the day...
"Yes, I do think that when a customer stands by the automatic door it should automatically open."

Twinkle Twinkle

2007-06-26T21:03:00.000-04:00

The Fireflies are out! Or perhaps you call them Lightening Bugs. Either way, they are really really cool.

To me, seeing the first firefly of the season means that summer is here: there's hot steamy nights ahead, and the smell of bar-b-q's, and sand, and sun-burnt skin with suntan lotion in store for us. The fourth of July is right around the corner -- Next Week! -- with the best fireworks I've ever seen right here in my backyard -- I absolutely love this time of year. I know, its hot, and the AC is kickin into full gear, but Summer at the Shore is really a wonderful thing. Its what makes living in NJ like nothing else...

In the details

2007-06-23T19:22:00.000-04:00

It really is all in the details, isn't it? The difference between good and great -- just right and perfect.

I'm currently reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, the author who wrote The Kite Runner - which, if you've never read, is really fantastic. This book is proving to be even better. Absolutely mesmerising. I've been reading it for 2 days and I'm already 245 pages into it. For a woman with a full time job, 2 kids, etc., 245 in 2 days is usually virtually impossible, but the book is so fascinating I'm flying through.

But anyway -- to the details. Sometimes I read a passage, and it just fits so well with things I have experienced, and had wanted to put into words, but never could. This one is part of the story and its talking about a 5 year old little girl Mariam, and her mother, Nana:

If she could articulate it, she might have said to Nana that she was tired of being an instrument, of being lied to, laid claim to, used. That she was sick of Nana twisting the truths of their life and making her, Mariam, another of her grievances against the world.

That just about says it all -- to be 5, and to think like that, and to not be able to articulate what you're thinking... I can relate. And the words are so simple, and so simply strung together, but the detail you get within them -- just amazing.

Hell to pay

2007-06-20T19:49:00.000-04:00

Question: If using the lord's name in vain is a sin, then what is it to use your belief in the Lord as an excuse for despicable behaviour? What I mean is, how is it that "religious" people can claim to be so frickin "holy" that they just couldn't possibly be an arrogant s.o.b.

For the most part, I love my job, but I have to say that some days I come home with the opinion that People Just Suck. I mean, they do stupid, mean, arrogant, malicious things, and then try to cover up their asses any way they can. And just when I'm thinking "No one can possibly believe this idiot," people prove me wrong, and they believe the idiot.

I know, I know, I know, and I can hear my mothers voice in my head saying "the world is not fair, sweetie," but SERIOUSLY... I hope to g-d there really is a g-d, and if there is one, I do hope that at some point all those "religiously moral" people there who use and abuse people eventually get to meet their maker and THEN try explaining away all the harm they have caused in their pathetic lives, AND, that when they do stammer, and cough, and cover up, and lie, and back-peddle, and skirt, and twist, and point fingers elsewhere, and question your verbage, and accuse others, and blame their childhoods, and cry, and shake, and basically make a complete and total ass in front of the Allmighty... I hope that THEN, at That Point, that there is Hell To Pay!!!

If Only

2007-06-17T19:30:00.000-04:00

So many times you hear people talk about things "If Only," or sometimes even just "If."
It usually begins with "Dude, what if..." or, "Could you imagine if..." Here are my answers to the most common IF things I get asked.

Q: If you could be a superhero, or have super powers, who would you be, or what powers would you have?
A: Well, I am kinda partial to Wonder Woman. I mean, what 30-something gal isn't? But her invisible jet, and the whole lasso of truth thing make her not something I aspire to. She looks great, don't get me wrong -- but her powers are not that cool. Doesn't really answer the question, but this is my "What If," so there.

If I had to choose a super power, at first, I might say Invisibility. Then within moments I'd change it to Able To Withstand Bullets,etc., like Superman. And then, on further review, I would opt for Never Feels Nauseous, with its advantageous side power of Never Throws Up. Lord, if I could live the rest of my life with never feeling queasy again... aaahhh... what a blessing! I would drink till I ... fell asleep! :)

Q: If you won the lottery, what would you do?
A: Hmmm, depends on the sum. Let's just say I'm set for life, and my kids are set for life. And, for good measure, my great-great-grand kids are set for life.

I would, in no particular order: Have a huge costume party. In a very cool and scary mansion. On Halloween.
I would buy a vacation home on a beach somewhere.
I would buy an RV -- like one of those silver ones -- an "Airstream?" I think they are called. The kind you tug along behind a big truck, not the kind you ride in, and I would travel around the country.
I would buy strangers lunch if they looked nice, or were friendly.
I would make people happy.
I would go back to school and get a doctorate in something cool, like archeology, or anthropology.
Of course, I would do all those other things that lottery winners do: quit my job, take care of my extended family, spend time with my kids all the time.
And last, but not least: SHOES!! I'd buy lots and lots of shoes.

Q: If you were stuck on an island alone, what 5 cds, 5 books, or 5 movies would you like to have with you.

A: cds: Soul Mining by The The, Elvis Costello's Greatest Hits, Antics in the Forbidden Zone by Adam and the Ants, Avalon by Roxy Music, and Aretha Franklin's greatest hits.

books: The complete tales of Winnie the Pooh, Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns, One of the Hap and Leonard books by Joe R. Lansdale -- the one with the squirrel attack -- I forget if that's in Mucho Mojo or Bad Chili. All of those are so good., One of the Myron Bolitar novels by Harlen Coben. They also are absolutely hilarious., and then perhaps either The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff, or The Electric Koolaid Acid Test -- not sure which one.

movies: Could I bring the Lost series, or is it one disc per "movie"...? Well, if box sets were allowed, I would bring all the seasons of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, Lost, Six Feet Under, and then of course, my 2 guilty pleasure movies Xanadu and Tremors. And then perhaps if I could -- Out of Africa. I frickin love that movie. And if I'm stuck on an island, there's no better to look at then Robert Redford!!

Q: If you only had one hour to live, what would you do?
A: Be with my husband and kids snuggling and horsing around--tickling, kissing, and hugging. And Laughing!!

Q: If you could meet any famous person in history, alive or dead, who would you meet?
A: Now this one is a stumper. I've never been able to answer that one. I'd kinda like to meet my great-grandparents. My great-grandmother lived till I was 5, but all my other greats died before I was born. I'd kinda like to meet them all and ask them about getting to this country, and what that was like. If I had to choose a famous person, I suppose it would be Oprah. But not on the show. It'd have to be like a low key thing at her house or something. Just a girls afternoon kinda thing.

Ok. There are many many more Ifs I could bring you, but this is all I can type for now! If you would like to ask other Ifs, or play along yourself, feel free to send me something!

Sidestepping

2007-06-16T08:59:00.000-04:00

So - Its the dreaded Day Before Fathers Day, or, if you wish -- Fathers Day Eve. It was exactly one year ago on the same eve that I fell down and broke my butt. If you don't remember, there's a post all about it in the archives for you. But to bring you up to speed faster, the gist is that in an attempt to make the house "perfect" prior to the morning of Fathers Day, I hastily flung myself down the basement steps while attempting to finish up the laundry. Said flinging resulted in my ass being impaled in the stairway in a frightfully shocking amount of pain and suffering. I then drove myself to the hospital, as it was midnight, and who could we call to watch the kids at that hour, and sheepishly told the teen behind the reception desk that I was there because I had broke my butt. His face is indelibly imprinted in my memory as The Smirk that Lives Forever.

So - This year, today, right now, its Fathers Day Eve, and I am itching to clean the house and make it all "Perfect" so that tomorrow no chores will need to be done, and we can do some sort of "father-ish" thing... what that might be, I have no idea... But in addition to this itch to clean, I have this nagging voice in my head saying "Just sit the hell down, woman! Its Saturday! Relax, you silly type-a neat-freak work-a-holic!" Do I never learn from my mistakes? Don't I know that cleaning the house on Fathers Day Eve is a cursed action, that can only lead to doing something stupid and painfull?

So what do I do today? I feel like I am sidestepping all day long. I can't walk straight and go on with what I feel I must do (clean, idiot!) so I must sidestep my own compass settings and try to figure out something else to do to pass the time....

If only the house wasn't such a mess this would be much easier!! :)

Chutzpah

2007-06-10T11:35:00.000-04:00

For those of you unfamiliar with the term Chutzpah, let me introduce you.

Its a Yiddish word, generally the equivalent of Balls. As in "That took some Balls." But with a little more oomph. Chutzpah is like my last posts title, the "oh no she di-int" of the Jewish variety. You NorthEast-Coasters know all about Chutzpah. No disprespect to you West-Coasters, but please, y'all live on the edge of Wus Cliff. Us New Yorkers have got the Chutzpah in spades. And the Jersey gang is much much more fierce.

SO - To Illustrate:

My library has a bad rep as a place where lots of things grow legs and walk away. Gloves out of coat pockets, cell phones, ... you name it, it will be taken from you. The staff is in a state of denial that there is a thief among us, but, c'mon people, get a clue.

So everyone seems to be a bit paranoid about their things. And I don't discourage this paranoia -- They certainly have a right to be scared. I mean, our Piano Bench walked away. A piano bench!

So this guy brings his lunch to work one day -- A lame frozen dinner -- and places it in the freezer. Makes sense. But then, he decides he wants to go out to dinner. Also makes sense. So he leaves said frozen block in the freezer, and heads out. Comes back the next day, checks the freezer, and the item is still there. Hooray.

Two days later, checks freezer, and lunch/dinner is still there. Perfect. He still doesn't find it appetizing, and leaves it there for another time.

Next day, finally decides its time to nuke up the frozen meal. Goes to the freezer, takes out the box, And It Is EMPTY.
Yes. That's right. Someone stole his lunch, then left the empty box in the freezer.

That my friends, is Chutzpah.

Oh No She Di'int!

2007-06-10T10:30:00.000-04:00

Yea Grrl, She Did!

I tell you --Working Mothers are the most hated people in the world. Oh. Excuse Me. "Mothers Who Work OUTSIDE the Home" are the most hated people ... Truly, we get no respect from anyone. Even other working moms can't be consistent in sticking up for one another.

SO - Let me set this up for you. Its the last day of nursery school for my 4 year old son. They have a little "Graduation" ceremony (a celebration of mediocrity, anyone!? Like, even the paste-eater gets a prize..) So I take a day off from work to attend. I have to. Thats what working moms do -- they take off personal days for their kids, sick days for the kids, vacation days,... you get the idea.

Now, being the harried crazy lady that I am, and being that I am persistantly torn between home and work life, I decide to make the most of this Personal Day and schedule my sons birthday party for the same day as the "Graduation." Makes sense. I'm a multitasker.

So we send out invitations, make the arrangements, order the cake, blah blah, and then we wait for the RSVPs to come in. BTW -- I believe ONE other kid in the class of 10 has a mom who "works outside the home." The others, while home, also have nannies, tennis instructors, large SUVs,beach club cabannas.... you get the idea.

THE DAY BEFORE THE PARTY the "sorry we cant make it"s come in. Turns out this "Graduation" is a big photo/video shoot event, and all the grandparents are coming in for it, and then Lunch Dates are following straight after.

So - ONE kid from his school comes to his party. Thank goodness for my high quality neighboors, and their kind hearts, because they all pretty much came. So it was 7 kids total, rather than 16. Saved me some money, I suppose. Thankfully 4 year olds dont notice much.

But heres the kicker - The crux of the matter, and the reason why I am telling you this tale.

We're at "Graduation" and one of the "work Inside the home" moms comes up to my husband and I, and says
"You know, you really should have changed the date of the party to like another day, so we could all go. Why don't you have it on like a Thursday or Friday, at like Sickles Park, at like 3:00, so we can all go? Like, it really was such a bad idea to have the party today. What were you thinking?"

I reply "Well, you see, I can only take so many days off work, and since I already had today off for "Graduation," for me, it was a perfect day for the party."

To which she replies "Well, Chris here (thats my husband) is really the Token Mom of the group, since he does drop off and pick up, so he can just throw the party together by himself!"

Folks, I swear, you could feel the anger in the air. It took every bit of strength for Chris & I to not strangle her and dump her 85 pound body into the Navesink.

Ok, I'm It

2007-06-03T18:38:00.000-04:00

So - I've been tagged! Hilarious, since I've broken just about every blogging rule there is, to date., so who knew there were people still hanging on, when I am such an awful blogger? But thanks to Chris for including me in this game! She can be found here.

So - Tagged means, "Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog."

Ok, here we go folks, 8 facts:
1. I'm addicted to playing Zuma on the XBox 360. Love It. Can't go a day without it. I am finally understanding what all this video game addiction is about.

2. If I could spend a day doing anything at all that I wanted to do... I would spend my time sleeping. Seriously. I love my bed, love my house, love my jammies, and would do just about anything to just have an entire day to sleep.

3. I seriously believe that when I meet a woman with lots of makeup on that she's hiding something. No, not the obvious facial scar or whatnot, but really truly hiding something within her persona. I've tested my theory out in my 30+ years of observing and learning about people,and I have come to the conclusion that makeup wearers are somewhat false people... Sorry ladies, take it from whence it comes

4. My favorite smell is eucalyptus. Did I even spell that right? But yes, if I could smell that all day, I'd be a happy camper.

5. I love singing on the top of my lungs when I'm in the car alone. Who doesn't? Cheesier the song the better, like a ridiculous Journey song... any one hearing "when the lights go down in the city.." in their heads right now?

6. My favorite movie is actually a tie for 1st place : Xanadu or Tremors. Olivia Newton John vs. Kevin Bacon... That's just too hard to call! Love them both.

7. I once met Robin Williams and his kid at the San Diego Zoo. I was 14 or 15 years old. After growing up with Mork N'Mindy, I was thrilled to see the 2 of them all by themselves by the monkey house. I very shyly stepped up and said hello, and Robin Williams told me get lost -- and then started ranting that he couldn't go the f-ing zoo without f-ing idiots like me bothering him. I was stunned. I almost cried. But instead, I pulled myself together and with as much tart and sarcasm I could muster said "Thank you so much for being such a really wonderful guy. I hope you have a terrific day" and stormed off to cry to my mom.

8. What's left to say!!? I love a good meal out, but I find the best meals I've ever had are the ones I've cooked myself, where other people have eaten and enjoyed them.

So - Now I am tagging people I have never met, but who's blogs I totally love:

Vampire Librarian
Tiny Little Librarian
Well Dressed Librarian
Tales from the Liberry
The Society for Librarians* who say Mofo
Librarian with Style
Short and Sweet Like Me
Zach Braff Couldn't hurt to try a celebrity, right? And he is just about the funniest man on tv these days...

Off the Bus

2007-05-19T12:26:00.000-04:00

Did you ever read Electric KoolAid Acid Test? Well, in it, there's the expression "on the bus" and "off the bus" -- If you're not sure what I'm talking about, read the book, its excellent -- But, the reason I mention this, is I have to say as far as blogging goes, I've been off the bus for a while... My apologies, but seriously, you wouldn't have wanted me to be on.

So - being Back On -- What shinanigans can I tell you about? Bad Behaviour has been rampant here in library land and ... well... its not that interesting :)

Personally, I took my kids "cross country" this spring break. It wasn't all the way across like you picture the big road trip to be, but it was part-way... We flew to New Mexico, and from there, drove old Route 66 to Flagstaff AZ, then left 66 and went down to Tempe and then from there drove to L.A.

I think I could talk for days and weeks on end about this trip, but for space and for your enjoyment sanity, I'll only mentionsome amusing highlights -- The first, was a place we passed in Flagstaff on our way to dinner --

I just love Freedom of Speech!

Another highlight -- When we drove from Tempe to L.A., that was the longest driving day on the journey, spending about 5 hours crossing the dessert. During that time we went through an unbelieveable sand storm, and came out the other side to see the ominous landscape of windmills... It was totally eerie.. Mind you, I was the only one in the car that thought this was horror-movie-esque -- my husband and children proceeded to laugh at me, but seriously, all I could hear was that clickety clacky noises those people made with their teeth in that dark and stupid movie, whos name I totally forget right now ... Dark City? is that it?... Hated It!

Another quick highlight -- We Slept In A Wigwam. Frickin cool.

And lastly, one of the scarier experiences of the trip -- Visiting an ice cave in the middle of nowhere, by way of 3 flights of rickety old wooden stairs carved into the side of an old volcano pit.... Remember the broken butt story of last summer? Me and Stairs just haven't gotten along since! But I Did It -- Yea Me.

freakin awful

2007-02-17T19:59:00.000-05:00

The The's This is the Day (mentioned in an earlier post as one of my favorite birthday songs) is now the music playing in the back of an M&M's commercial. How freakin awful is that? Its like having your favorite song become elevator musac. I didn't think 35 was all that old...

divine

2007-01-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

You know that expression "to err is human, to forgive divine" -- well, that's all well and good, but honestly that just doesn't cover it for things that are more than human errors -- things that are beyond belief. You know, those horrific things in the back of your brain that you kind of pick at like old scars every once in so often, which, in the most minimal sense just give you a bad feeling for a few days, but really when you let it come to the surface can bring you down pretty fast.

So I heard a better one for wrapping my head around some things, and knowing that most people out there also have similar haunting memories, I thought I'd share:

I blame you for nothing.
I forgive you for everything.

Mary J Blige said this --

Makes you think, huh

where i've been

2007-01-04T20:33:00.000-05:00

home. in pj's. doing nothing. It's been WONDERFUL. Before that, i was working my tail off. It was the pre-holiday plus actual holiday madness that took over my life. We celebrate em all, so it takes a village. So I took a break, hung out, drank many bottles of wine, and I think I may have actually gotten my sense of humor back! So -- back to Normal -- Hurrah!

I was driving to work early the other week and right in front of me was Anti-Rights Man. You know the guy -- I think I may have mentioned him once or 5000 times before. He had his back bumper all decked out in his faiths bull-shit stance on The Rights We As Women Have, and HE as a man has no right in the mother-fn world to talk smack about..... So Lord Help Me Not To Ram The Bumper was all I could say to myself. I actually called my husband to talk me down from the Cliffs of Insanity.

As Chris says "L. to the I. to the G" Let It Go. So I let it go. Its gone, but not forgotten.

What else, what else... Oh --- a crazy man came into my office today. Yup. Walked right in. I was listening to music, typing at my computer with my back to the door, and this guy just walked right in and stood there for a bit before saying anything. Creepy. It was one of those moments-- I could Feel Something Was Wrong, so I turned slowly, and there was this guy just staring at me. At first, I thought perhaps he was OK, so I said my usual "Hey, I'm Sara, do you need some help blah blah blah" and at first he was like "What is this room?" and then, pacing "Is this a SCHOOL!!?" I explained, no, this was the library, and this was my office, and what are you in need of, and could I assist you out in the public area where you are supposed to be...but he kept on about my office being an old school... It got weird. And it seemed the only thing to do -- the only logical thing -- was to go along with him with the whole "this was an old school" thing - So I did, and he left, and then I ran around the building doing heavy breathing techniques trying to get my pulse under lock and key so I could go back and work again!

Life is somehow funny again. Thank you crazy many for making my day!

gave it a rest

2006-11-20T08:13:00.000-05:00

So - the headache did lead to actually being sick for a while, then the kids had strep, then... you know what I mean. So I gave the blog a rest for a while. It needed it. I needed it. I was (am) in this kind of funk where things just aren't all that funny anymore. Like, all of a sudden things are Serious. I hate that. But, while I'm in the Serious Mode, let's talk Turkey. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. So what are you thankful for? I was at a charity event the other night and this lady I'm talking to says she has house envy. She wants a bigger house. Now, I've been in her house, and sure, its not HUGE, but its pretty big. 3 levels. A house in the back yard serves as her office. They actually have a yard the size of a football field. Can you really have house envy when some people are living in cars, or on the street? ---- Do you see? This is what I mean by things are just not funny to me anymore. Funny Sara would have laughed and been like "yea, she wants a bigger house, so the maid has a place to crash..." but Serious Sara takes her house envy dead serious and feels angry that this conversation is even taking place. Yecch. Serious funk mojo workin here. Not good. So. Anyway. What are you thankful for? Home? Job? Love-life? Kids? Health? All these things are to be taken seriously. And if you have these things, and perhaps they are not what you expected, but they are Good, well then, I'm thankful for you.