Virtual Hyperbole

have your cake OR eat your cake?

2009-05-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

Shannie's newest post (over here, about her 1st wedding anniversary and the year-old cake they consumed) reminded my of this story of my Mom's & Dad's. One of my faves.

My someday parents' reception was at a hotel, who catered & serviced the entire event, including wedding cake. At the end of the evening, they asked for the top cake tier to take with them. The staff reacted oddly; they'd never heard of that tradition. But whatever -- the top was boxed up. Upon getting home, my mom wrapped the shit out of it so that it wouldn't get freezer burn, and stuck it in the back of the freezer.

One year later ...
My Dad was a DC cop and my Mom was a public health nurse. They both worked long hours and weird shifts; they didn't get a ton of time together at that stage. So they'd both taken the night off, and were settling in to *enjoy* their 1st anniversary (if ya know what I mean). My mom had taken out the cake to thaw to enjoy after dinner. But after dinner and apparently all evening long (the way they tell it), well-wishers kept calling and dropping by. Can you imagine?! "Happy 1st anniversary, K & B, what're ya doing? Mind if we come in?" So this one annoying guy stayed, like, two hours ("I wanted to help you celebrate!" - WEIRDO), and finally they practically shoved him out the door and unplugged the phone.

Finally! They can eat their cake and "get to bed." It took Mom like 20 minutes to unwrap the cake, and then Dad cuts into it, and ... thud. He pushed the knife a bit harder. Rip. The knife goes straight through the frosting into cardboard. It was a frosted cardboard cake top that the hotel apparently used and re-used! The fuckers were too embarrassed or something to admit that it was fake, so they let my parents take it home.

Mom & Dad just went to bed. And 9 months later there was me.*

*That last part is totally not true, but I couldn't resist.

aha! duh.

2009-04-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

I had a terrible audition. Not terrible horrible, but terribly uninspiring, which any actor will tell you is worse. I'm guessing directors will tell you that too. Anyway, admidst my relative boringness came a cool reminder of why I love the puzzle of working on good plays with smart and talented people.

I had read the play thoroughly once and skimmed it once or twice more. And I worked on the one scene a bunch, alone and with Monkey's help. I can tell you from years of experience that the scene is funny; you can just tell. It's written funny - the rhythms, the spikes, the language, the pace - but it didn't seem that way coming out of my mouth. I knew that it was supposed to be, but couldn't figure out why it wasn't. Frustrating as hell but I figured, ah fuck it; maybe I'm wrong. Just do it faster and bigger, that makes everything funny!

I was not wrong. Which became clear in an infinity of awkwardness while I read the scene for the director. I was not funny, but she was sweet. "Okay, um. Let's start again, and this time think about this ..." And in a very lovely and efficient explanation showed me that I had played the character about as opposite as one could've and still been in the same play. It was so obvious, and I couldn't believe I had led myself so far astray. I felt weirdly ecstatic. "I knew it was supposed to be funny!" I exclaimed, and then did the scene again. And, even though it was rather mediocre since the Tetris pieces of the scene were still dropping into place in my mind, it was kinda funny. Could've been hilarious with a little more prep.

Usually it happens in rehearsal, sometimes in performance, sometimes (annoyingly) after the show has closed, and this time it happened in the audition; but I think it's my favorite thing about acting, that aha! moment.

shaking things up

2009-04-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

So I have another audition tomorrow. Funny, yeah? (How's that no-acting thing going? Oh, good, ya know; getting by.)

A different show, but the same company; they cast for their whole season all at once. It's a director I've always admired but never worked with, a playwright that I really like a ton, and the theatre (of which I'm a fan) is blocks from my home. That's what they call a win-win, people. They called me in for 2 different roles. After reading the play (which is really good - another win), I did something I've never ever done before in the history of auditioning ... I told them I was not interested in reading for one of the roles, and that I wouldn't be preparing those sides. It's not a bad part, but it didn't intrigue or stimulate me. In fact, the thought of auditioning for this role and and the small possibility that I could be cast in it was making me feel like ditching the audition altogether, even though I really like the other role I'll be reading for. So I told 'em.

When I viewed acting as my vocation, I wouldn't have done this. Being in a play was better than not being in a play, right? Not to mention that actors are trained to say "yes please you bet absolutely." Viewing acting as an avocation (which - truly? - is how my bank account has viewed it all along), has freed me up to ask, "Will this be better than going out to dinner with my sweetheart, or going hiking, or skipping out of town for the weekend, or sitting on my butt on the couch when I wanna, or finally playing Fallout3, or making jewelry in my garage?" If the answer is a clear yes or no, I know what to do. If the answer is a greyer shade of conditional, now I get to be upfront and negotiate for my conditions to be met. Like an equal adult and prospective venture partner, as opposed to an infantalized dime-a-dozen-actor.

Dear nice-lady-on-the-bus,

2009-04-22T11:49:00.000-07:00

I totally think you are super sweet, but for real. You do not need to wait for every single everloving person to maneuver out of their seats to exit before walking down the aisle and exiting yourself. In fact, I would say that the single advantage to not getting a seat in the first place is that at least you get to exit swiftly upon reaching downtown.

Sincerely,
(egg)

how aud

2009-04-21T10:02:00.000-07:00

My cure for the common audition is a whiskey. Despite my ambivalence, it's still the best thing to silence the minor demons in my head who assure me that I should've this or shouldn't've that. Get thee behind me with a Makers in front of me.

Also. You're supposed to bring a headshot and resume to an audition. Oh right. This I remembered just in time to print a resume, dig through my photos, realize I don't have a stash of current pics because I didn't bother to replenish because of the whole "giving up acting" thing I've got going on, remember that I have a high-res scan of my pic, thank Athena that I just changed the toner in my printer, print a pic, head out the door, and arrive just barely in time and sweating.

I did not freak out, fall down or throw up. It went well. I like acting; it's like a favorite pair of super comfy jeans.

AUD

2009-04-20T16:04:00.000-07:00

That's how it's marked in my calendar; it's how I've always marked it in my calendar. The notation hasn't changed, but I have. I haven't performed in a full-length show in over a year, and haven't auditioned for anything in just about 2 years. I feel ... ambivalent. I'm not sure that I really truly understood the nature of ambilvalence until now. I've ususally used that word either (a.) to describe something akin to reluctance, (b.) when I couldn't care less, or (c.) in order to avoid commitment. No longer will I disrespect this excellent and perfect word.

AUD. Nobody is more surprised than I.

schmulti schmask

2009-04-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

Multi-tasking - much like swimming pool sex - is overrated. It seems like it'd be a good idea, but it's really not that great. Perhaps even unpleasant or harmful. More time is wasted in multi-tasking than is wasted in water-cooler conversations, for instance. Certainly more than than is being wasted right now in my taking a full-on break from work and typing this post.

This isn't sour grapes from someone who sucks at multi-tasking; I'm actually "good" at it (however you measure that crap). It's just a shitty way to get quality work done efficiently. Are you, too, an excellent multi-tasker? Does it make you, too, feel like you never really ever get anything done? Try this: take your 8-hr. desk-job workday and break it up into eight 1-hr. segments. During each hour, do something on your to-do list. Seriously. You might be surprised.

For those of us at email-dependent jobs, I suggest the following. Either:

dedicate 1 morning slot and 1 afternoon slot for email; or (if that's too scary for you)
use the last 10 minutes of each slot for email.

Trust me, people won't even notice. Anyway, there are a ton of valid reasons (psychological & work-flow-related) for using delayed response techniques. If they do notice, they'll get used to your new style and they'll adjust accordingly.

Excuse me, won't you? My scheduled mental health break is up and I must return to work, refreshed and ready for the next item!

i want to remember this feeling

2009-04-06T14:34:00.000-07:00

I don't diet - there's no point, I end up obsessing about food which I don't actually do usually - but I am watching it. I'd like to lose "the last elusive 10," and I know I'll just feel better. Ya know - run faster, jump higher, live with greater abandon, practice zen-like patience, carpe diem, et al.

I DO NOT LIKE: self-deprivation. Let's face it, my kith. I like to eat. I like to drink good whiskey and good wine and the occasional excellent mixed drink. "Apertif" and "digestif" are 2 words that I am thrilled to have (and use) in my personal lexicon. I absolutely adore epic meals the span the length of an entire evening or mid-day, when you get just as drunk off of food and conversation as off of wine.

I DO LIKE: weighing consequences. I don't mind that, after one of those aforementioned glorious epic dinners with Monkey on Friday, I woke up in a cold sweat several times through the night because my body was working overtime to process what it assumed could only be foreign invaders. I didn't mind because I knew that might be the price I paid. I planned for it. WORTH IT.

I do, however, mind it today when I am running late for work, don't have time to pack lunch, decide to take advantage of no packed lunch to "splurge," go out and get some momentarily-delicious-but-crappy-for-me-junk-filled lunch, wolf it down like a deprived addict, and then within an hour feel like my head is going to split open and my guts may rebel in several different styles. I ate mindlessly something I wasn't even really craving because I thought it'd be fun, and - hell - it's Monday, I'm tired and I deserve it. Boo-hoo. I totally subverted my better judgement, and I'm glad I'm paying for it.

You know what's kinda freaky, though, is how soon this feeling would go away if I just kept it up eating relative crap. And then it would be the opposite, and I would feel crappy when I had to wean myself off of the junk. That is actually a sufficiently sobering thought to slap me in line. It was hard enough to get here the first time.

I have the knowledge and the power. I need to choose to use it for good.

(Those last 2 sentences made me giggle.)

am i under-reacting?

2009-03-27T13:40:00.000-07:00

Should I be more concerned by bathroom sanitariness? (or is it sanitation?) Several women who work on my floor -- not a majority but not just one or two, either -- follow this procedure (or similar):

wash hands upon entering bathroom
use paper towel to open stall (and from here, I can only assume they don't touch anything with their bare hands - handle, seat, etc.)
flush empty toilet (!)
use seat cover
do business
flush business (ideally with seat cover)
wash hands w/ soap for what seems like kind of a long time; leaving water running until they've dried their hands
use paper towel to turn faucet off
open door w/ paper towel

Am I divulging an unspeakable and (literally) dirty secret by saying that I am in and out of the bathroom (in most cases) in well under a minute? That does not admittedly leave much time for many of the precautions listed above. Am I one big walking germ ball? If I do not pee on my hands (which seriously? is unlikely) or make direct physical contact with my junk, need I wash my hands? Every single everloving time?

Confession: Sometimes I fake washing my hands. Yes. Just so whoever is still in the stall listening, or whoever might be standing outside the door waiting to catch me in my degeneracy, will be fooled. I turn the water on but don't wet my hands. Dude, what's up with that? I think that's mildly fucked up.

march

2009-03-23T12:39:00.001-07:00

The lion had better transform into a lamb pretty fucking quick.

green day

2009-03-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

Every March 17th, I think about the very best Lusty Lady signs* EVER. (Proven fact.) It was many many years ago on a St. Patrick's Day -- back when I was still a babe in the city; when I was still a Mrs.

"Erin go braugh-less"

. . . and (my fave) . . .

"Porn beef and grabbage"

*Lusty Lady is a strip club in downtown Seattle that has a big marquee sign out front, and they change the risque puns posted on it frequently.

c'mon

2009-03-06T10:08:00.000-08:00

I have to admit frustration. Since mid-Febraury, I've been diligent about counting calories, cooking at home, eating in a much more balanced manner, keeping exercise levels consistent; and yet the scale does not move down. And in the last week, I am sorry to report that it's moved up. I don't expect miracles or even drastic change, but seriously? C'mon now.

merger complete

2009-03-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

I just merged my 2 previously separate blogs. My other blog (Weightless Again) was my fitness-focused blog, and mainly I kept it separate because Cody (my trainer at the time I started the journey) linked to it from his site. If you never checked it out (and even care ... I assume nothing), all the imported posts are tagged with the label "fitness."

I'm starting to decompartmentalize. All over the place. "Integrate" if you will. Oh - and I think you will. I'm beyond wondering whether this is a li'l rebirth of ye olde blogge. I have no freakin' idea and am as excited as you are to find out.

My pulse just quickened.

jewelry for toughies

2008-12-09T00:13:00.000-08:00

Dames and dudes:

I updated my HardWearables site with a bunch of new photos. They aren't great photos, but they'll do for now. Take a look, think about your loved ones, and then about the fact that you haven't gotten any shopping done yet.

If you get an inkling to get your hands on my hardware, email me. I can hook you up with a day or two lead time; esp. if you live in Seattle.

which is geekier?

2008-10-27T14:28:00.000-07:00

A little background ... my department and a bunch of other depts. that used to be scattered around the city have recently moved into the old Safeco Bldg. in the U-District. There was a training today for meeting coordinators to learn the AV systems in the various conference rooms. At the end of the meeting, this exchange occurred.

WHICH IS GEEKIER?

This question (asked semi-jokingly): "Can we use the triple projection screens in the auditorium after-hours for a tri-player World of Warcraft session?"

... or ...

This answer (in all seriousness): "I'm going to have to say no, and not just on a professional basis. Personally, I'm very involved with VAWL, the Vigilante Anti-Warcraft League, and intervention league for people addicted to World of Warcraft."

de plane! de plane!

2008-09-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

So I wanna get some more tattoos. I've held off for years since my first/last ones (back in college) ... not because I didn't catch the bug ('cause oh I did), but because of my CAREER. Well, fuck! Fuck THAT. I figure, what the hell? I'm not acting, I still want the tattoos... done deal. I can regret it later.

That reminds me of an old BFL joke:
Leaping off cliff in the throes of carpe-diem-ness: "No regrets! NO REGRETS!!"
Realizing 2 seconds later that you just leapt off a fucking cliff: "Regrets! Oh, regrets!"

Anyhoo ... tattoo. Where? What? Advice welcome. I have some ideas, but what I really want is someone really cool and intuitive and talented to interview me and then design me something. Does that happen? Do people do that without you having to be a millionaire? Many things I'd have once considered tattooing have been ruined by others. Things that inspire/intrigue me but that have been co-opted by or are so closely associated with subcultures that I'm not actually a part of (e.g. celtic or celtic-inspired, pin-up girls, gargoyles). God(dess) bless all you folks, but I am not one of you.

What's a girl to do? I don't know; you tell me.

If I achieve inspiration, I will let you know. Hell, I'll post pictures!

I remember when I got my first tattoo. I was 19. I went in thinking I would get a little shamrock on my ankle, and (typically) walked out with the moon and stars on my left shoulder blade. I was at college, 19 years old. I didn't need Mom & Dad's permission at that point, but wasn't immune to their definite influence or to my self-imposed guilt. So I waited until afterward to tell them. They were a bit used to me by now (being their daughter and all) and barely blinked in front of me when I told them; although I bet they had a lively discussion later. They merely paused, and that pause was legion. Among other things it said, "we love you," and "why would you do that?!" and "I can't believe you are our daughter" and "well, it's your body." Later, I swear they got a kick out of telling their friends. "Our crazy daughter, you know Peggy. She nuts, but we love her! She got a tattoo! Can you believe it?" They got to pretend more shock then they felt and at the same time hold up the indy street cred of their daughter. Anyway, in my imagination they secretly loved it.

My parents raised me to be an independent thinker. And oh I bet they rue the day! I love you Mom & Dad! Best gift EVER.

McCain the heartbreaker

2008-09-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

I have not agreed with McCain much of the time since I started paying attention to him (in his failed bid for the White House), but he was someone that I learned to respect greatly. "There's a thinking man," I said to myself. "Goshdarnit, we may not agree, but he has integrity. He actually thinks. I think we'd be okay if he were elected." Oh, if wishes were horses ...

The current John McCain is a shell of the previous John McCain, and I am sad when I see him speak now. As I watched his acceptance speech at the RNC, I wanted SO BAD to see the McCain I'd come to admire. As much as I want this whole right-wing fiasco of a goverment to collapse under the weight of its own lies, I wished with all I had that the real John McCain, the one hiding deep down inside, would burst through and show what he used to made of.

I may have cried. At least I felt like it. I want Obama to win so badly it's stupid to even talk about, but I still want the aliens to return McCain.

Anyway, I'm not expressing anything new or intriguing or provocative. If I'd cared to count, I would've already lost count of the number of my liberal friends who feel the same way. And I guess not just them ... Here's a fiercely independent, conservative-leaning blogger who nails it for me: Andrew Sullivan in The Atlantic.com: "McCain's Integrity"

IN OTHER NEWS:
I'm back! I think. Maybe. Lotsa changes; lotsa thinking and poking around at various aspects of my life & being. Existential for sure, but no angst involved. It turns out I like to process before I write, rather than while I'm writing. There's been much in my life to process, and therefore no writing. If you're still there, then: Hi stranger!

the first monday of the rest of my life

2008-02-11T08:22:00.000-08:00

It is only appropriate that I celebrated the eve of my fulltimeness by staying out WAY too late and drinking a WEE BIT too much. I had a low-grade hangover all morning.

Hey, look at me! I'm an adult!

turn and face the stranger

2008-02-10T15:35:00.000-08:00

I was featured in an essay that Mike Daisey wrote for The Stranger this past week. If you read this blog or know me pretty well, it's easy to identify the friend of the story as me. Setting aside the main thrust of the essay for a minute and focusing on ME because this is MY BLOG ... It was interesting to read my situation as a story. Mike sent it to me before it went to print, and I giggled when I read it. Because I seem so tragically romantic, which is not how I feel inside. But what he writes does not ring false, and I endorsed it fully. Because it is sad, isn't it? I live my life - it is impossible to view my own life as a narrative. I've come to peace with whatever this decision might mean for me and my future, or else I wouldn't've been able to make the decision in the first place. But as a narrative, it's kinda fucking depressing, for real. If it wasn't me - if I didn't know the person Mike was talking about - I would've felt a tangible loss upon reading about it. Not necessarily for her - the friend - but for the broken system we (theater folk) are trying to make a living in.

An unexpected and gigantic benefit of having a little piece of my life turned into story is that it became this thing outside of me that I can look at, like an object. It is now separate from me as well as inside me, and I get the best of both worlds. Being able to poke and prod it from the outside has released me from it's power, and I feel such freedom. It's real!

THEATER IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THEATER! I now feel truly right about my decision to give up acting. I can also see clearly that while that might mean forever, it also might not. I've rejected the "all or nothing" "yes or no" "professional or amateur" mythic paradigm of artistry. Now I - me, myself - get to define when and how I will or won't pursue it, and with whom. My shackles are broken and I defy your definitions!

here's a fucking health tip for you ...

2008-02-07T08:31:00.002-08:00

If you eat like shit, you will feel like shit. Trust me, I've done the research and it's true.

turn and face the strange

2008-01-16T14:15:00.000-08:00

LOTSA CHANGES! (You get a super special secret kiss if you can name or describe that BFL show and/or sketch.)

Oh, by the by ... I've given up theatre again. You can see my past reflections on this subject (in chrono order): here (in which I break up with acting) , here (in which acting & I patch things up), and here (in which I continue to question my relationship with acting).

I haven't spilled much about my experience with The Women at ACT Theatre. As long as I live, I will think of that production as a gift. An incredibly unique, wonderful and truly special experience. I really have nothing bad to say about it. I loved every minute. And yet, ironically, it was during the production that I realized that my previous semi-facetious disavowal of acting was perhaps actually my prescient subconsciousness prepping me for future action.

During the show's process, I looked at the actors around me (in and out of the show). They mainly fall into 3 categories. They either:

are supported financially by someone else,
worry constantly about money, health insurance and the next job, or
are young.

I mean, really. What am I gonna do? Pushing 40, I'm gonna give up a stable day-job that I like, excellent health insurance and a steady paycheck? I'm gonna go Equity and schlep constantly to pick up theatre work, which most of the time won't even be acting?

Yeah. Seriously? I doubt it. It's laughable. It's also not how I want to live.

I have a friend that has to totally re-budget if she wants to spend $10 at a spontaneous lunch out. I have another friend who lives in a 2-room dive. They are both older than I am. I've got dozens of examples like this. Don't misunderstand - I have no judgments related to them as people. More power to them, and I am honestly thrilled that they are living their dream.

I guess it's just not so much my dream anymore.

Although I also think it's ludicrous to say that I've given it up forever. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I do know that this time feels different than last time when I think I was simply burned out. This feels more permanent, like an actual life-change decision.

In closely related news, I am 2 weeks away from going fulltime at my job. Kage (my jobshare partner and dear friend) decided to pursue another career (which is so exciting and I am so supportive of). Considering these reflections I've just shared, I decided the time was ripe to see what is was like to be a non-actor. Just about the same time, my boss got promoted and asked me to go with her. So I'm also about to be promoted. Weird, right? Doesn't it all seem kinda destined?

I'm pretty much at peace with this for myself, although I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the broader and more general societal implications. How frustrating it is that the world does not value what I am really fucking good at. The tiny niggling nagging feeling that I'm losing the fight by giving up. But t the same time, these feelings seem romantic and self-indulgent.

How does it change you inside to linguistically change how you self-define to the outside world? For as long as I've been a self-supporting adult, I have always been an actor who has a day-job. Now I'll be a 9-to-5er who will maybe act sometimes.

H to the O

2008-01-08T22:40:00.002-08:00

For the first time in weeks, today I drank as much water as I should. In related news, I also peed like 100 times, but who cares? I know from experience that it regulates as soon as my body's flushed some of its toxins. I'm also trying to cut back on my diet cola consumption. At one point, I'd quit it altogether, but then I quit quitting. Now I'm going to quit quit quitting. I'll have to find new ways to get my caffeine. Maybe I'll just start taking speed. I'm joking. DON'T DO DRUGS.

I am finding that it's not the lack of desire to workout that keeps me from it; nor is it the lack of time anymore now that the holidays are over. It's simply that sometimes I get distracted and I forget. Yesterday, for instance - I wanted to workout, but I also wanted to get this project done.* I planned to work on the first half of the project, take a break & workout, and then finish up the project. Well, I forgot to workout. So thoroughly, in fact, that it wasn't until I was reading in bed before sleep that I remembered. The same exact thing happened the day before with a different project.** Apparently this is a tendency of mine, so I need to refine my system. Maybe decide approximately when I want to workout and set an alarm.

TODAY: 1 hour of stationary bike, 100 crunches, 30 push-ups
Prior: I wanted to work out, but I almost put it off to get some little thing done "real quick." Trying to fool myself again! I steered myself to workout right then while thinking about it.
During: Enjoyed it. Easy to do when I have the TV to distract me (which we do in our workout room). I had thought I'd only bike for 1/2-hr, but I changed it to an hour when I realized that The Biggest Loser was on. I swear that is the best show to watch for inspiration. Those fuckers work SO HARD; it's impossible to skimp on a workout when watching that show.
After: Felt excellent, and proud that I pushed myself a bit. My butt hurts from the bike seat. I still detest push-ups.

*The project I was working on yesterday was making a tea cozy. It's my first project with my new sewing machine! I should say "am" instead of "was" because my first attempt failed. Well, no. It didn't fail - it's a kick-ass looking rock-n-roll tea cozy; it just doesn't fit my teapot. I made a newbie mistake (because I'm a newbie), and left too little for seam allowance. Anyone with a smaller pot need a cool tea cozy?

**The project that distracted me on Sunday was creating a new vanity website. Check it out; I love it!

this is all i did today

2008-01-07T00:53:00.000-08:00

I am glorying in newfound web vanity.

In other news, although I never quite recovered from STAYING UP UNTIL FOUR IN THE MORNING, I had nary a sign of hangover. Which is either a true miracle or a freak oversight of nature that I'm sure I will pay for imminently. In the meantime - HEY! you guys that own whoever makes Emergence-C ... I have no right to feel as good as I do, and I thank you.

bullshit, yoga is relaxing

2008-01-03T23:12:00.002-08:00

I'm kidding. Kind of. Seriously, though - that shit is HARD.

TODAY: 45 minutes of beginner's yoga
Prior to: Felt rushed; was worried about how much time I had (or rather didn't have) before I had to leave for the 14/48 meeting.
During: Felt good - the stretches in particular. The woman on the DVD I have does an excellent job of getting me to visualize various muscle activations & grounding, and also describing how it might feel. This helps me a lot, since I don't have a personal coach in the room to monitor me.
After: Glad I fit it in; I really needed the stretching. Yoga's a bit sneaky -- at the time, I felt like maybe I should have done more, but now (a few hours later), my body feels even the little that I did.

Tomorrow, I have the same time crunch issue with work & 14/48. I will try to make it home in between the two and bike for at least 1/2-hr. (stationary bike).

get on your bikes and ride

2008-01-02T16:34:00.002-08:00

So. Turns out that fitness is still one of the first things out the window when I get busy. Not a surprise to me, truly. At least it wasn't the very first thing I threw out the window. And I kept my weight steady throughout the holiday season, even though my habits slipped. I can only guess that some of my base level habits have changed for the better, and I'm actually getting more activity & eating better all around, even though it hasn't been at the forefront of my mind.

2008 is a brand new year full of promise, and I intend to participate in an August triathlon in Seattle. 1/2-mile swim, 12-mile bike, 3-mile run (or thereabouts, depending on the final route). I was persuaded (quite easily) to do it by a friend who was going to do it again only if she could round up some other gals to commit. So I'm in, as well as some other lady friends of ours (it's a female-only event).

The most exciting development is that my mom's going to fly out to do it with me!!! She's a seasoned triathlon competitor, so it'll be pretty cool to be able to join her finally. And maybe my dad'll come to shame Monkey into getting up that early to come watch. ;-)

Today was the first day of my active "training." (I'll take the quotes off when I feel like I'm truly back on the fitness wagon, and not just playing catch-up to what I should have been doing for the last 2 months.) Monkey has consented to be my "pace-car" and I think is excited to have a reason to get back on the wagon himself.

The main thing for me is to take in manageable steps. I get clotted up when I try to think of the totality of being in shape enough to run a triathlon, and then I just want to play computer games and let my avatar run for me. So - I have given myself a very achievable goal of doing some kind of fitness activity every day, to be increased in intensity as I progress. One step at a time. I know that planning also important for me, so I will ponder possibilities & decide each day what my activity will be for the following day.

TODAY: Monkey & I jogged approx. 2 miles. Around the neighborhood, not the track.
Weather: A light rain, but not too cold, and not unpleasant.
Prior: I didn't feel like doing it, but I said I would force myself, and I did.
During: The first bit was hell, and then I kinda caught my stride - more so, anyway. My lungs burned from lack of recent cardio, and that feeling has lingered a bit (it's been about an hour since getting home). My legs were sore from painting last week, and from bowling the other day, and the running loosened them up. By the end, I wasn't out of breath, but simply tired in my body.
After: Glad I did it, but frustrated that it didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped.
Notes to self: Drink more water. Remember your sense of humor. Don't get fussy with your helper, because he's doing it for you.
Tomorrow: I don't have much time tomorrow due to work & the kick-off of the 14/48 festival. I will plan to do yoga either before the meeting or before bed.