As For Me

Why I don't trust the swine flu vaccine

2009-10-15T14:05:00.002-06:00

There is so much information out there to sift through in order to formulate an opinion on this that it's a bit daunting. There's a lot I could talk about here but I just don't have the time or energy to do it. However, I do want to touch on some things.

Thimerosal- Some formulations of the vaccine contain thimerosal and some do not. Pre-filled, single dose syringes contain no thimerosal or have it removed to trace levels. Multi-use vial DO contain it. Know what you are getting before you get it! Here is a table (Table 1) at the FDA website that has this information detailed. (It's on page 3)

Before I continue I want to say there are four FDA approved vaccines. Three injectables:

Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine (CSL Limited)

Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine (Novartis Vaccines and Diagnostics Limited)

Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine (Sanofi Pasteur, Inc.)

And one intranasal:
Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine (MedImmune LLC)

Pregnant Women- In every list I can find, including the Center for Disease Control and the Food and Drug Administration (page 3), pregnant women are at the top of the list of the ones who should be getting this vaccine. YET..on the package insert found at the FDA’s own website (page 12 section 8.1) I read this: “Pregnancy Category C: Animal reproduction studies have not been conducted with Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine or FLUVIRIN. It is also not known whether Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine or FLUVIRIN can cause fetal harm when administered to a pregnant woman or can affect reproduction capacity. Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine should be given to a pregnant woman only if clearly needed. (emphasis mine) Even with that admission, they say that “If you are pregnant, you should get vaccinated against H1N1 (swine) as soon as possible. So, on one hand they say a pregnant woman should only get the vaccine if it’s "clearly needed" but then on the other hand they indicate that being pregnant is reason enough to be vaccinated! I do not trust these people. Furthermore,

Nursing Mothers- Do nursing mothers know that “because many drugs are excreted in human milk, caution should be exercised when Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine is administered to a nursing woman? It’s on the package insert. (page 12 section 8.3)

Young Children- Children from age 6 months up are recommended to be vaccinated, but in the package insert for the vaccine it says, “Safety and effectiveness in pediatric subjects below the age of 4 years have not been established. (page 12 section 8.4) So we don’t know if it’s SAFE OR EFFECTIVE but go ahead and vaccinate them anyway! I don’t think so.

The links to the package inserts I've included are all to the Novartis vaccine. The other two injectables say essentially the same thing about pregnant and nursing women, just a little different wording. However, the CSL Limited package insert says this about pediatric use: “Neither Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine nor AFLURIA has been evaluated in children. Safety and effectiveness in the pediatric population have not been established. (page 8 section 8.4) The Sanofi Pasteur insert says, “Safety and effectiveness in pediatric subjects below the age of 6 months have not been established." (page 10 section 8.4)

Maybe I’m missing something or I’m misunderstanding something here but this vaccine doesn’t seem like a good thing to me! Aren’t you glad I don’t have the time and energy to get into the other aspects of this that are unsettling to me!! ☺

A convergence of thoughts

2009-08-25T22:37:00.001-06:00

Opening our fists, releasing our hold, and giving financial gifts to individuals and/or organizations becomes really easy if we recognize that it's God's money in the first place. Dave Ramsey says, in his Financial Peace University, that, "You and I are asset managers for the Lord, so if we view it properly, we aren't giving our own money anyway." It's really easy to give away someone else's money! Fun even. I really appreciate Dave Ramsey bringing that principle into focus for me. It's not mine anyway, I can give it away freely. Now hold that thought a moment...

Often I feel stretched to my limit, spread to thin. There's not enough of me to go around. This one needs a diaper change, this one wants me to read a book. That one needs to talk about friendship issues and the other one needs his tail kicked because he got side-tracked from doing a chore. You know the feeling, right? On top of that, I'D LIKE A NAP! Or to read a book, or write this post without interruption! There isn't time to do it all and certainly not time to do all the the things I'd like to do and do them well. So I have to choose. I have to NOT do some things. Then my Sense of Entitlement rears it's ugly head. I get grumpy. I feel sorry for myself. I start thinking that too much is being asked of me, no one appreciates me, and "why can't I just DO this thing I want to do without anyone bothering me?" (stamps foot!) See how ugly it can get?

One day a Scripture popped into my head (thank you Mr. D for requiring me to memorize Scripture in school!). "...you are not your own. You have been bought with a price..." 1 Cor. 6:19b-20. Now I wasn't remembering the Scripture perfectly and the issue being written about was s3xu@l immorality, BUT... I think I can still make an application. Here's where the two thoughts converge. I'M NOT MY OWN. I've been called to be a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1). My life belongs to Jesus. SO...it doesn't need to be difficult to give myself away. Now It's not as hard to just put the book down and go meet the need of a child. It's not such an irritation to stop in the middle of a project and resolve a squabble. Why? Because I AM NOT MY OWN. I'VE BEEN BOUGHT WITH A PRICE. I am not mine anyway, I can give myself away freely. It's easier. Fun even.

Hold that thought too.

Because he's beautiful...

2009-04-02T18:50:00.001-06:00

Levi Quinn - 7.5 months

Levi at 6.5 months (2-18-09)

2009-03-15T14:00:00.001-06:00

2009-01-13T22:47:00.004-07:00

I'm still alive. I just got sucked into the black hole of Facebook. Oh. My. Goodness. It's been so fun reconnecting with SO MANY people from my past. I swear it's a little taste of heaven. Except for the guilt associated with spending so much time on it. I just keep thinking that in heaven I'll get to do this but to perfection and with no time constraints and no guilt. And then I think that however exciting and enticing that sounds it will be nothing, NOTHING, compared to the sweet fellowship with the Creator of the universe and the Saviour of my soul and the Keeper of my heart.

I feel it more and more.

This world is not my home, I'm just a passin' though.

Those with young

2008-12-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

Do you have young? Do you need encouragement? I do. On both accounts. I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed. I cannot do this on my own power. Here is a Message:

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; He gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

Our Lord is not heavy-handed nor is He absent from our lives. Take heart in that!

Advent Season

2008-12-01T00:11:00.005-07:00

I want to share a couple thoughts from the sermon I heard today. I've never really known what the Advent Season is. I've always just figured it had something to do with Christmas since that is the only time I've ever heard it spoken about. I learned something new today.

Advent (from the Latin word adventus, meaning "coming") is a season of the Christian church, the period of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus, in other words, the period immediately before Christmas. It is the beginning of the Western Christian year and commences on Advent Sunday.
Latin adventus is the translation of the Greek word parousia, commonly used in reference to the Second Coming. Christians believe that the season of Advent serves a dual reminder of the original waiting that was done by the Hebrews for the birth of their Messiah as well as the waiting that Christians today endure as they await the second coming of Christ. (From Wikipedia)

I think that the Advent we should focus on is the one yet to be. The preacher said, "While Jesus' birth is important, His return is imminent. ...It's hard to see what's ahead when we are always looking backward." We can get so distracted by what was that we forget that something is still to come. His return IS imminent...are you ready? Are you watching? Are you expectantly waiting and preparing?

O Come, O Come Emmanuel
O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Refrain:
Rejoice! Rejoice!

Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Refrain

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour." Matthew 25:13

Cardboard Testimonies

2008-11-30T23:09:00.004-07:00

I had never seen any Cardboard Testimonies until today when a friend sent me a link to the Cardboard Testimonies at Richland Hills Christian Church in N. Richland Hills, Texas. The idea is that everyone has a story and the testimonies tell various people's stories before and after Jesus. I went looking for it on YouTube so I could embed it here on my blog but I couldn't find it there. What I did find was there are several CT's to watch on YouTube, just not the one I saw first by following the link. Sooo, click on the link and spend a few (worthwhile) moments seeing the difference Jesus has made in people's lives.

I've embedded a different one below from YouTube. It's good also. Of course it's good...It's God working in the lives of people...that's always good.

Why I'm AWOL

2008-11-11T11:52:00.004-07:00

What I've done today (Oct 10th):

diaper
nursing
breakfast/refereeing
rocking
schoolwork
peeling apples
bathroom
nursing
diaper
schoolwork
laundry
hollering
cooking apples
rocking
e-mail
mashing apples
craft beads
refereeing
give a test
lunch
nursing
diaper
baby swinging
peeling apples
rocking
explain perfect tenses
cooking apples
stepping on craft beads
mashing apples
phone call
change toddler
nursing

I quit making the list because I just didn't have time. I've been reading blogs intermittently but I've no time/energy to post. I miss it but I AM enjoying my little lambs. That's a good thing.

Here's an article about why we maybe should avoid calling our children "kids": Is There A Better Word Than Kids?

Baby Levi at 2 1/2 months:

Feeling Grateful

2008-08-27T23:44:00.006-06:00

Somehow I don't feel much like complaining about grocery prices!!

Headline: Price of rat meat quadruples in Cambodia as inflation bites

I'll happily pay the extra for milk and eggs that I'm paying...

Because he's just SO cute...

2008-08-10T18:28:00.004-06:00

Levi & Daddy

Nighty-night

Bathtime

Announcing.....

2008-08-03T17:48:00.007-06:00

My pregnancy ticker at the top of the page is wrong. I do NOT have 5 days to go. Because my new little boy is 4 days old now!! :-)

Yep, that's right. I finally had that sweet little boy and I feel SO much better. I knew I would.

Okay, the details. Levi Quinn was born Wednesday morning, July 30th, at 6:25 a.m. It's hard to say how long the labor was because I had been in mild/moderate labor for DAYS!!! But I arrived at the hospital at 3:50 a.m. and he was born at 6:25. That's 2 hours and 35 minutes later. Sounds good, eh?

Levi weighed 9 pounds 13 ounces and was 21 1/4 inches long with a 14 1/2 inch head. There was a lot of baby all bunched up inside of me and we both seem happy with his change of address! :-)

Labor was uneventful except for the remarkable fact that I HAD A BABY!! :-) It was unmedicated as I wished, I labored in the tub until the last possible moment, I didn't tear so there were no stitches (yea!!), my doc let me deliver the placenta unassisted, she waited until the cord stopped pulsing in order to cut it, the doc didn't break my water (even though she asked if she could during those last few moments). BTW, her reason for wanting to break the water wasn't good enough so I said no. She wanted to break it because she didn't want it to break all of a sudden, in a gush, all over her! I said "isn't that why you get paid the big bucks!?!?" Soon my water broke all over her. She said, "That's what I mean." Funny! I pushed for 11 minutes and then I had my sweet 'little' baby!

Well, that's all I have time to write for now. We're pretty busy and nursing is a little rough right now because Levi is tongue-tied but hopefully that will be remedied tomorrow at the doctor's office. Here's a link to a slideshow of Levi's hospital pics. I put it together really quickly so they aren't all the best pictures, I just dumped them all into the slide show without being choosy. Enjoy!!

BTW, I worried in my last post what message I was conveying to (especially) my 12 y.o. daughter... Today she said, "I sure hope Levi isn't going to be the youngest child around here..." Hoo boy!

Weak and Heavy-laden

2008-07-23T20:11:00.004-06:00

I'm having so much trouble being cheerful and thankful at this point in my pregnancy. I've just been miserable and oh so tired. I don't sleep much at night and that makes days with my 4 children not so pleasant. I feel like I'm complaining at every turn and I can't seem to get it under control. I just want to be DONE! I've never felt this uncomfortable during a pregnancy before. Maybe it's my age?? I'm 39. I find myself worried that maybe I'll have to do this again and I won't be able to do it again. That's certainly not the attitude I wish to have and not the attitude I want to convey to my children (especially my 12 y.o. daughter!)

I feel so badly that I'm not able to do the stuff I normally can do and because of that I'm placing a much bigger burden on my husband. It seems like such a burden that my children are having to bear because I'm not up to my usual duties. I feel like the house is falling apart despite my husband's valiant efforts, I feel like my kids aren't getting the attention and care that they want and deserve. I wonder why in the world I put in a garden that I can't maintain. I wonder what we are doing that we should eliminate in order to have more time for the important. I wonder how to balance the fact that I just cannot do certain things with the fear that I'm being lazy and taking advantage of the situation.

Sometimes I don't know I've overdone things until it's too late. I look back and realize 'oh, THAT, was too much'. I'm light-headed, dizzy, and I stagger around the house sometimes with contractions that don't allow me to stand up straight but I have to keep going because dinner needs to be made and the contractions I'm having, while they are difficult, aren't accomplishing anything at the moment. I know (because I've had other pregnancies where I contract for WEEKS/MONTHS before delivery) that it all those contractions make for a pretty fast labor in the end BUT it's so hard to be in mild labor almost all the time. I think I'd rather just save it for the end where everything else stops and I can just have the baby. Instead, I doing labor and life at the same time. I don't like it. But that's where I am and somehow I need to find ways to be cheerful, thankful, and trusting that God is at work in this pregnancy, my life and in my family.

This is a pretty bad pity party but maybe I'm venting enough here that things will get better. Meaning, of course, that my attitude will get better. Just pray with me that I will remember to avail myself of the privilege of laying my burdens at the foot of the cross and remember that Jesus can take our burdens and turn them into joy!

Forgive me for taking this verse out of context but I've been thinking of this one a lot during this pregnancy:

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS
What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

Laundry at Midnight

2008-07-07T23:55:00.003-06:00

I got out of bed to put all the baby clothes that have been packed up into the washing machine. Maybe I'm getting ready too early but then maybe I'm not. It's so hard for me to tell. I've been very uncomfortable today. Lots of contractions, gastrointestinal upset, some vomiting. I never know if I'm just doing too much or if "something" is happening. I need some clear, unmistakeable sign that "this is it". Breaking of my waters would do it but I don't want it because the last two times my water broke in the hospital the baby was born within 9 minutes and the second time was within 7 minutes. I definitely don't want my water breaking at home! So I'm left to wonder when things get strange, "Is this it??" Just in case, I'm laundring baby clothes and blankets. Tomorrow I plan to wash the infant car seat cover and get that all ready. Maybe I'm setting myself up for a really long wait or else I'm just being prepared.

My Ambien is kicking in...I better hit the hay.

Getting some ZZZ's

2008-07-07T08:43:00.004-06:00

I got some pretty good sleep last night. What a blessing. I haven't been sleeping well for a few weeks due to my restless, twitchy legs. I've been averaging about 2-4 hours a night. That is just not enough for me. My doctor prescribed Ambien for me Friday, June 27th and I slept great that night. It didn't work the next night! I was so disappointed. A couple of days later I decided to take two and THAT worked much better. At my last appointment she (my doc) said that taking 2 if fine but it would be better if I was only taking it 2-3 times a week. So I pretty much have to decide ahead of time if I really need to sleep on a particular night or if this night will be one of the ones that I'm tossing and turning, up taking a hot bath, and getting no sleep. My right eye has been twitching on and off for about 3 weeks now and I'm sure that it's due to the lack of sleep. I had a mild case of this when I was pregnant with Abby but it wasn't much of a problem and it went away after her delivery. I'm sure hoping the same is the case this time. I'd hate to be up in the night trying to rock and nurse my new little one and unable to sit still! I'm hopeful that it will go away in time.

I'm not calling Guinness just yet

2008-07-04T20:50:00.009-06:00

Wednesday I had an ultrasound (pictures are below) but I couldn't have the follow-up appointment with the doctor because she was in surgery. They scheduled me to come back the next day (Thursday). That's not so bad but it's a 40 mile round trip and I hated to spend the gas to do that twice in two days. Also it's a little difficult scheduling that around hubby's work and my waning energy. In any case, I went yesterday for the follow-up and the doctor was delivering a baby. I chose to wait rather than have to come back yet again. My wait ended up being an hour and twenty minutes! That was pretty miserable because I can't sit still for long. I have had a lot of trouble this pregnancy with restless legs and trying to sit for very long is pretty impossible. I also cannot relax. It has made for many, many sleepless nights already and I still have five weeks to go....

So, my follow-up appointment. The reason I had the u/s in the first place is because my fundal height was measuring large and the doctor wanted to see how big the baby was and see if I maybe had too much amniotic fluid. I pretty much consented to the u/s because I wanted to have pictures taken like the ones below... :-) The technician told me that the baby has chunk on 'it' and I also have a lot of fluid but that neither of those things were dangerous. Yesterday the doctor said that, yes, the baby is big. Baby weighs 8 lbs 5 oz. right now and that if I go to my due date I'm looking at delivering a 9 to 10 pounder. She said I just may break my personal record which is 9 lbs. 9 oz. (Adam). I don't really know how accurate with these weight estimates and I kind of wish I didn't have those numbers in my head!

The doctor said that if I consented to an amniocentesis to check up on lung maturity then she would deliver me early. If you know me very well, you know that there's no way I would consent to that unless there was some kind of an emergency! BTW there's a really cool DVD called In The Womb put out by National Geographic. On that DVD I learned that when the baby's lungs are mature they secrete a protein into the amniotic fluid that triggers the placenta to decrease the production of progesterone and to increase the production of oxytocin. Either of those things can put one into labor and both of them combined would certainly do the trick! And so, since I like to keep things a natural as possible, I'll be waiting until the natural course of events unfolds.

Remind me I said that a couple of weeks from now if I start complaining!

Does anybody else have experience with the doctor's estimating baby's weight? Were they right or wrong?

Whaddya think?

2008-07-02T14:44:00.003-06:00

My due date is 5 1/2 weeks away. Don't you think this baby looks "done" now? I feel pretty done... I guess we'll just have to wait and see!

CRACK!!!

2008-06-30T22:04:00.003-06:00

Since I'm a tired and lazy blogger, I will refer you to my daughter's blog to read about our exciting evening tonight...

It could have been a lot worse.

♪ Psalms & Hymns & Spiritual Songs ♪

2008-06-29T00:00:00.003-06:00

GOD WILL MAKE A WAY

God will make a way where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

By a roadway
In the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today

God will make a way where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

Don Moen

Today's Doctor's Appointment

2008-06-20T16:40:00.006-06:00

Well, I didn't have my OB appointment today. I was running late and I called the doctor's office from my car (yes, while I was driving) and said that I would probably be about 10 minutes late for my appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule and told me that I would have to reschedule for next week. Arrgh. On one hand I was irritated but on the other hand I don't like going anyway so it's not so bad to put it off for another week. On the other hand, I was irritated. She asked when looked good for rescheduling next week. I said afternoons are best and any afternoon would do. She asked if 11:40 a.m. would work. I ~~condesendingly~~ sweetly replied that that was actually still morning NOT afternoon and I was thinking sometime after 3pm. So... now I have an appointment for NEXT Friday at 3:40 pm. I'll make a better effort to arrive on time!!

If only real midwives could deliver in the hospitals here and insurance would pay for it! Sigh.

cartoon source: http://www.mediclicks.net/nexium/cartoons.asp?i=46

Pregnancy & Cousins' Camp

2008-06-18T22:48:00.004-06:00

At my last OB appointment (May 28th) I was 29 1/2 weeks. I haven't been keeping track of my weight very much so I asked what my weight gain had been so far. The nurse looked at my chart and said that I had lost since the last visit and that my total gain was 2 pounds! Cool! I have an appointment this Friday and I'll be 33 weeks. I absolutely expect to hear that I've gained about 10 pounds in the intervening 3 1/2 weeks. It's been crazy!

We went on "vacation" to visit my family in western Oregon June 4-9. I think I gained all the weight then. Vacation is in quotes because traveling 9 hours one way when I'm 30 weeks pregnant is not a comfortable venture for me. It wasn't too bad on the way there but the drive back was pretty miserable! It was worth it though because it was time for the kids to go to Cousins' Camp. My parents grandkids who are approximately 4 years old and up get to go to grandma & grandpa's house (without the parents and younger siblings) for two days of activities and fun times. This year we had three of our kids at camp. It's worth whatever it takes to make it to camp. Yes, even that miserable drive! :-) Anyway, since we weren't at home and we were eating out, I think I ate a lot more than usual. I found my appetite returned when I didn't have to think much about planning meals or preparing them. I'm very curious to see how much I've gained when I go to this next appointment.

I also want to know if maybe the due date is wrong and I'll be having this baby sooner than we thought. Everyone I see is amazed when they find out I'm not due until August 8. A checker lady at Wal-Mart gave me a raised eyebrow when I told her Aug. 8th. An older man at Home Depot looked at me incredulously and asked if I was sure about that date. A man I don't know at my parents church asked me if maybe it was twins I was carrying. The size of my belly coupled with my frequent contractions and sleepless nights really does make me wonder if this can really go on for another 7-8 weeks. Ah, here's a contraction now. Speak of the devil! I have to remember, though, that I have contractions all through my last trimester anyway, so I really shouldn't make too much of this.

BTW, here's a picture that was on the Cousins' Camp t-shirts this year:

I'd rather starve...

2008-06-18T10:59:00.005-06:00

...than eat a bent cucumber.

This is so ridiculous that I had to share it.

Apparently several of the EU governments would rather throw out misshapen fruits and veggies than eat them. With high food prices and starving people throughout the world this is just ludicrous! One idea was to let misshapen fruits be sold in shops with a special label indicating for use in cooking which, the Commission says, makes far more sense than throwing them away. (duh!) But, a lot of the member states did not like it.

Read the article here.

Menu Plan Monday - June 15, 2008

2008-06-17T15:48:00.006-06:00

Sunday- Ham & Cheese Sandwiches
Monday- Deer Steaks & Mashed Potatoes
Tuesday- Chicken Salad & French Bread
Wednesday- Grilled Salmon, Grilled Zucchini & Salad
Thursday- Crockpot Chicken & Mashed Potatoes
Friday- Homemade Pizza
Saturday- Leftover Buffet

See what's on other menus at Organizing Junkie, the host of MPM.

Grace Beyond Measure

2008-06-16T13:17:00.005-06:00

I know Father's Day was yesterday but, hey, I'm just running behind on everything at this point.

Yesterday I read a great Father's Day post at the Common Room. The Headmistress there wrote so many things that echo in my heart that I wanted to share it with you.

Speaking of her husband she writes:

I wish that I could say that I carefully chose him for all of those qualities that make him an excellent parent, but the truth is that what attracted me the most was his brilliant blue-green eyes, long hair, and his high cheekbones and great tan...

Yes, he was a gentle, kind, and easy going person, I knew that. But that was a bonus. Those pleasant attributes did not strike sparks from my heart the way those astonishing eyes did. I was playing with fire, making decisions of a lifetime based on the heartbeats of a moment. I deserved to be struck by lightening for my frivolity, but instead, I received the gift of domestic fire- a gentle, loving, kind, godly man, a man devoted to his God and his family...

The green heart-flutterings of a silly 20 year old are not be compared with the strong, steady, dependable heartbeats of a 46 year old who knows that her husband will protect her and her children with everything he has. I'll take the sweetness of properly aged and ripened maturity over all the flibberty-gidget heart-throbs of callow youth...

There's more. You should go read it.

Here is my comment on her post:

I, so like you, "was playing with fire, making decisions of a lifetime based on the heartbeats of a moment. I deserved to be struck by lightening for my frivolity, but instead, I received the gift of domestic fire". I wonder why I was so protected in my silliness and others that I know were not. It seems unfair and I have some sense of survivor's guilt. I know not why I'm so blessed, but I am. It's only been 13 years for us but I could echo so many of your words. I'm thankful for each one of these 13 years. I'm about to have my 5th child and I'm thankful for each one of them as well. A wonderful father for my children is a gift beyond my deserving.

In my comment I referred to my silliness but in all actuality I should have said my rebellion. I do not understand how God metes out His grace and mercy. I'm thankful for it but I don't deserve it. Likewise, I don't deserve the wonderful husband I have, but I'm oh so thankful for him.

Happy Father's Day, dear, I love you!!

The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him. Prov. 20:7

Quite a pair

2008-06-02T17:17:00.006-06:00

My last post included a photo of Abby as my cookie apprentice and just yesterday I stumbled upon a picture of Adam at about the same age and in the same spot in our kitchen. Here are the photos together...