Kerri's journey to mommyhood

Blog changes

2009-08-26T20:14:00.001-05:00

I'm going to try blogging full time over here.

Fav Foto Friday

2009-08-22T16:55:00.002-05:00

My mitzvah girl (just a little late)

An interesting encounter.

2009-08-19T15:12:00.001-05:00

Just posted over here.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-19T11:08:00.002-05:00

Conversations with Ruby

2009-08-18T19:11:00.002-05:00

When I was just the mother of one, I always told Ruby she was my favorite girl in the whole world. Obviously, I can't tell her that now so I tell her she's my favorite Chapina in the whole world.

Me: Ruby, you're my favorite Chapina in the whole world.

Ruby: Thanks Mom. (not sure where she gets such good manners but she has them for sure)

Me: Do you know what a Chapina is?

Ruby: Yes.

Me: What is it?

Ruby: ME!!!

So to everyone else out there who thought you had a little Chapina in your home, think again. Apparently there's only one and she's living with me. ;-)

(Oh, and on the Medina front, her OK birth certificates came today. Yay!!! Now if we could just get that darn letter from CIS so we could go turn in her green card and get her COC.)

Thinking about privacy and again

2009-08-17T19:56:00.002-05:00

So I've been thinking about safety and privacy again. I really hate the fact that blogger doesn't allow you to password protect individual posts. I don't think I want to go totally private but there are some things I'd prefer not to share with the entire world. I'm going to start playing around with my old wordpress blog that I tried last winter. I'm not going to make the immediate switch right now. I want to try to figure it out a little more first. We'll see how it goes. Anything on there that is password protected will be the old password that I used back then. If you don't have it and see something you want it for, let me know. I will only be giving it out to people I know or those who tell me why you want it and it makes sense to me. Feel free to ask if I post anything that way but if all you say is "I read your blog and want your password", I won't send it. I need to know a little more about you and why you want it. Otherwise, there's no point in password protection, right?

Just to be clear, I'll still be posting here too. I'm just going to be testing the waters over there.

Bubbles - I ♥ Faces

2009-08-17T18:37:00.003-05:00

This weeks theme over on the I ♥ Faces blog is bubbles so I decided to enter this picture of Medina from earlier this summer.

School

2009-08-15T09:19:00.003-05:00

Medina had her first day of school on Thursday. After all of the problems with the principal at her old school last year, Medina is in a new school this year. It's a small private school. She is one of 9 kids in her class. I'm so optimistic for the year. Medina's teacher and the principal are both aware of the age situation and willing to help Medina in any way they can to catch up to an age-appropriate grade. The plan is to do 1st and half of 2nd this year. Then, I'm hoping we can finish 2nd over the summer. That will get her to one grade behind. If we could do the same thing with 3rd and 4th, Medina would be on grade level. I'm not holding my breath for that though. I'll be happy if she can get to one grade behind. Honestly, I'm okay with her staying 2 years behind if she just can't catch up. I really just want her to have the opportunity to try. That's how I've tried to emphasize it to Medina too. I tell her that whatever grade she's in is fine but the principal should have given her the opportunity to try to be in an age-appropriate grade. As long as she tries her hardest to learn, wherever she's at is okay. Still, she came home the first day and told me she was the oldest kid in her class. She asked me if she'd always be the oldest in her class. Even though she doesn't stand out physically - she's the same size as her classmates - she knows that all her friends who are her age are 3rd graders. Medina has a huge advantage over many children adopted at early school age in that she had 1 1/2 years of school before she was relinquished and then had some schooling in the various orphanages she was in. She had some basic reading skills in Amharic. Even though she's forgotten Amharic, I think that gave her some foundation for understanding reading in school last year.

Anyways - that's the scoop...we're at a new school where the staff is understanding and able and willing to work with Medina to give her the help she needs to try to catch up.

Fav Foto Friday

2009-08-14T06:30:00.000-05:00

Want to win a super cute dress for your little sweetie?

2009-08-13T21:15:00.002-05:00

Go check out Nora's giveaway...but don't enter. I want to win! :-)

MOGUATE 2009

2009-08-09T16:19:00.012-05:00

* I spent more time in the pool this weekend than I have in the last 5+ years combined.

* The trip there took almost an extra hour and involved 6 potty stops. (Saturday night's pizza dinner also involved 6 potty breaks. Hmm...)

* We all climbed at least 20 million stairs over the 4 days we were there.

* The tooth fairy can find you anywhere and still leaves the same $1/tooth that I got as a kid.

* Bowling with several other over-stimulated Guate tots and worn out parents is rather interesting.

* Ruby really likes name tags and matching shirts.

* Ruby was also rather scared of the stuffed bears in the restaurant that we ate almost every meal at. I had to carry her past it many times but she did get brave enough to touch one of them once.

* Medina, as usual, made lots of friends and spent more time playing with them than me and Ruby.

* Both girls had a great time in the water.

* Medina went down the water slide at least 50 times.

* Ruby decided she liked to be dunked and would count to anywhere from 3 to 7 and say go and I would dunk her. She would start counting for the next dunk as soon as her mouth was out of the water.

* The girls did great on the trip, watching tv or listening to music both ways.

* They actually behaved great pretty much the whole time we were gone. I was quite impressed.

* We can't wait for MOGUATE 2010!!!

More info on Imagine Adoptions - Canada

2009-08-09T15:58:00.003-05:00

Here's a new website with more information regarding the mess surrounding Imagine Adoptions, the adoption agency in Canada that recently went bankrupt.

www.familieswithhope.org

Progress is being made to allow families in process to complete their adoptions. Please lend your support wherever you can.

Fav Foto Friday

2009-08-07T21:38:00.000-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-04T21:58:00.001-05:00

Nana's birthday picnic

2009-08-02T20:09:00.004-05:00

Today we celebrated my mom's birthday. She wanted a picnic at the park. Normally, a picnic on August 2nd would be sweaty and miserable but today was perfect.

A little fun while we loaded up the car

Ruby decided she was cold in the 80 deg weather...crazy!

The cake

The birthday girl with her grandkids

A little freaked out by the squirrel that was asking for a piece of cake

Just generally being cute

With the picture she drew her nana for her birthday

Playing in the creak

Always the poser

Medina and her papa

Yes - she sat down on the rock ledge in the creek...oops!

Very proud of her ball of sand/mud

Me and my girls

Medina took this picture

We went home after Nana's picnic and Ruby took a nap while Medina and I relaxed. Then we headed off for bowling and more cake to celebrate our friend Jaxson's birthday. The celebration-filled day was the perfect pick-me-up for a weekend that started with a lot of stress.

Fav Foto Friday

2009-07-31T06:30:00.000-05:00

BFFs

My Habesha beauty

Okay - I know she's not my kid but she almost is and this was too funny to pass up :-)

I'm a real mom now!

2009-07-28T21:27:00.002-05:00

Last night I bought a minivan! Yay!!! I've been thinking about it for awhile. My old car was a VW Golf, which I loved in some respects but just wasn't big enough now. I found a 2006 Honda Odyssey and it was perfect so it came home with me. It was a little sooner than anticipated as my dad and I still need to reconfigure my garage so I can park inside. (I have part of my garage blocked off to give the dogs access to the dog door to get out without being able to go out the garage when the door is up.) Still, it was too perfect to wait. Medina is so excited to not have to be squished between the car seats when we go somewhere with Jocelyn and Pacey. It will make road trips so much nicer and will be an absolute necessity when PS gets home since there will then be 6 of us.

Other than new cars, we've had a lot of little things going on that are just wearing me out and leaving little time and energy to blog. Still, there are a few exciting changes going on around here.

As I previously posted, Ruby's language continues to explode. A few other funny things she says are efedant (elephant), humon (come on), humere (come here). She's asking a ton of questions, processing and figuring out the world around her and it's fun to see her learn so much.

Medina's English continues to improve. The changes are less dramatic than they used to be but it's becoming less and less obvious that English is not her first language. (I'll try to get a video of her talking.)

Ruby is totally potty trained except for a rare accident here and there. I know I've just cursed myself for tonight but she's been out of night time pull ups since we got home from Memphis and she was dry in pull ups for at least a couple of weeks before that.

The more exciting news than the potty training (in my world) is that for the last several nights, Ruby has been sleeping with Medina. Aah, the benefits of loving your big sister! I'm not sure what changed but Ruby decided totally on her own that she wants to sleep with Medina. This thrills Medina, as she still doesn't really like to be in a room by herself. The first night she lasted until about 2:30. The second night was really rough and she ended up coming to me about 11:30. For the last 3 or 4 nights, it's been all night. That means I can go to bed and read. What a dream!!!

Medina took swim lessons at the beginning of the summer as part of her summer camp. While she still gets a little nervous about getting water in her mouth or nose and sometimes doubts her abilities, she's swimming really well. She loves it too!

We're gearing up for MOGUATE next weekend. I can't wait for a 4 day weekend and it will be so much fun to see some old friends again, see blog/forum/facebook friends for the first time in person, and make some new friends.

That's the scoop in our house for now...

Three Days for Three Daughters

2009-07-25T08:35:00.002-05:00

http://threedaysforthreedaughters.typepad.com/threedaysforthreedaughters/

Please consider joining this international hunger strike named after three girls who were kidnapped and ultimately placed for adoption in Guatemala.

Adoption can be a wonderful way for a child to have a family when their first family can't raise them. However, all adoptions are tarnished when adoption involves the stealing and trafficking of children. Burying our heads in the sand regarding these injustices is not an acceptable option. We all, as adoptive parents and as humans on this earth, need to join together and fight for ethical adoptions free of these and all other unethical and unjust practices.

Fav Foto Friday

2009-07-24T06:30:00.001-05:00

A few pics from last night...

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-22T07:03:00.000-05:00

Crisis in Canadian Adoptions edited

2009-07-18T08:37:00.008-05:00

As many of you have heard, an adoption agency in Canada called Imagine Adoption declared bankruptcy late on Monday afternoon (July 13th). There was no warning and apparently the staff themselves only found out late Monday afternoon too. We've heard about this mostly in relation to Ethiopian adoption but it's affecting families and children in other country programs as well, including Ecuador.

A blog has also been started to keep people informed of the situation. You can visit it here.

Here are some links to some news reports on the situation...

http://toronto.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20090714/adoption_bankrupt_090714/20090714?hub=Toronto

http://www.570news.com/news/local/more.jsp?content=20090714_132955_5164

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/adoption-agencys-bankruptcy-devastates-families/article1217223/

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/bankrupt-adoption-agency-owed-money-to-400-families/article1221645/

http://www2.macleans.ca/2009/07/16/imagine-adoption-gary-goodyears-wife-on-the-payroll-and-the-company-they-co-own-is-on-the-creditor-list/

As you probably know, the world of international adoption is full of uncertainties and sudden changes in status of programs for political and many other reasons, but it is shocking that the Canadian, Ontario Ministry-licenced agency would be the source of a collapse.

All the waiting adoptive parents have been working non-stop since they got the news, communicating with each other to brainstorm various ideas and solutions, writing letters and doing everything they possibly can. They are contacting advisors and the key decision makers in Parliament and the Ontario Ministry to bring forth this matter to their immediate attention, direction and action.

People are losing money, sure, and for some people who have scraped together their fees from meagre means it is all the more devastating. But what every person here cares about, is FINDING A WAY TO SAVE AND TO COMPLETE THEIR ADOPTIONS.

What can Americans do...Join the facebook group and sign the petition urging the Canadian government to find a way to resolve the situation.

More importantly, we can also write letters to the following Canadian officials...

Deb Matthews, Ontario Minister of Children, dmattews.mpp.co@liberal.ola.org

Dalton McGuinty, MPP, Premier of Ontario, mcguinty.mpp.co@liberal.ola.org

Sharon Gollert, Head of international adoptions, Ontario Ministry of Children, sharon.gollert@ontario.ca, adoption.unit@ontario.ca

Here is a sample letter written from a Canadian perspective that Americans can alter to fit the situation...

Dear [NAME],

Re: Appointing an emergency interim management for the Saint Anne’s Ecuador Adoption program (within the former Kids Link/Imagine’s adoption program)

I am deeply concerned with the recent bankruptcy announcement (Globe & Mail, July 14, 2009) of an international adoption agency, Kids Link (operating as Imagine Adoption) of Cambridge, Ontario and how the Saint Anne adoption program has effectively been temporarily abandoned in the shuffle of dealing with the bankruptcy of Kids Link / Imagine.

Kids Link / Imagine Adoption ALSO managed the Saint Anne Ecuador adoption program which is a separate legal entity but by consequence is also left hanging. The financial holdings company – BDO Dunwoody Limited, and the Ministry of Children and Youth Services (the Ministry) have both informed us that Saint Anne is not included in the bankruptcy and that the licence is still intact.

In light of this, it is imperative that the Ministry

1) Immediately allow a second licensed international adoption agency to facilitate all active adoption files currently affected by this bankruptcy filing, OR appoint somebody to operate the agency that is still in existence but is currently without management and a board of directors by consequence of the Kids Link / Imagine bankruptcy

2) Temporarily allow those families still waiting for their children to submit their file to a second country for consideration.

There are “50” families and an even greater number of children that are currently in the Ecuador program that are directly affected by this development. Each entrusted their faith and many thousands of dollars to Imagine. As this process usually takes more than a year's time and many thousands of dollars to complete, we urge the ministry to consider the following:

As this situation has been allowed to occur while operating under the direct regulation (licence) of the Ministry of Children and Youth Services it is imperative that your ministry takes an active role in ensuring the well being of the many hundreds of children and Canadian families who have found themselves completely at a loss.

I trust that swift government action will accompany the bankruptcy announcement of Imagine Adoption Agency and I await your timely response to this letter.

Yours sincerely,

[signature]

[NAME]

[postal address]

As adoptive parents, we can urge the Canadian government to find a speedy resolution to this terrible situation for the sake of the Canadian families involved as well as for the children waiting for these families around the world.

Fav Foto Friday

2009-07-17T07:23:00.001-05:00

Trying (and failing) to look mad or sad

Watching her balloon

A good place

2009-07-16T08:00:00.001-05:00

While I know Medina is changing and developing daily, it's not as obvious as it is with Ruby. And let me tell you, Ruby is changing and developing like crazy.

I remember thinking just a few short months ago that I probably wouldn't make it to Ruby's 3rd birthday without a stay in an inpatient psych facility. She really was making me that crazy. Well, we're not yet to 3 but things have really calmed down. I know we won't always have this balance but I have to say, right now, things are really good with Ruby. She is so much fun these days.

What has made things better?

* Increased language abilities

* Increased reasoning abilities

* Developing empathy

Language

OMG - Ruby's talking so much!

* This morning I must have looked sad because Ruby said, "aww, come ere" and hugged me and patted my back.

* The other day my dad was asking her why she was playing with his ball (Ruby's little princess ball at my parents' house) and she said, "Dis my ball. Your ball at the park."

* When she gets excited, she exclaims, "cool", "yes" (with the arm gesture - clenched fists and jerking the arms back - kwim), or "awesome"

* She is always asking "why" and "what dat mama" with the most entertaining facial expressions

* She has been singing a lot more songs lately, especially to her babies (this is related to the empathy thing - she sings to her babies when they're crying)

* For the first time recently, I heard "I no like it" when I tried to get her to eat something.

* She still calls Medina "Tata" but I heard her actually say Medina this weekend.

* When she wants something, she tells me where she wants it - "I ant milk Joci house" when we're at Joci's house, insert nana or papa when we're there or mama when we're at our house.

* When she feels badly about something, like someone else being sad or scared, she says, "awwwww".

* The other day I'd taken her clothes off because she'd gotten juice all over her shirt. About 1/2 an hour later, she said, "where my cothes go?"

* I really wish there was a way to share her inflection when she talks because that just makes what she says all the funnier.

* Funny words - bonna (bottom), mono (tomorrow), necatine (nectarine), full up (pull up), funder (thunder), I know there are so many more that I can't think of right now.

Reasoning

This is obviously very interconnected with the language and empathy. Ruby can now understand waiting for something. If I'm cooking dinner and she wants milk, I can tell her she can have it with dinner and she gets it. If I warn her ahead of time that something is coming to an end (like milk for the day), I can ward off a tantrum. If she's talking on the phone to my parents or Joci and she doesn't want to stop, I can tell her she'll be all done on the count of 3 and then when I get to 3, instead of screaming like she used to, she just hands me the phone. This isn't to say we don't have our fair share of tears over silly things but it's so much better than it used to be.

Empathy

For the last few weeks, Ruby has been really picking up on how others are feeling. This mostly has to do with people being sad, scared, or crying. She'll tell me people on tv or the dogs or whoever are sad. She tells me when her babies are crying or when Simon (one of our dogs) is scared of the thunder. When her baby is upset, we sing to it, rock it and give it a bottle. Yesterday, she had me lay down and go night night and she would sneak out (just like I do). When I would start to cry, she'd come running back and kiss me and say, "it's okay, mama. I no yeaving (leaving)." This is really helping when she does things I don't want her to do because I can tell her that her actions are making me sad and she gets that.

I know things won't always stay this good. I read what others say about the 3s. Still, right now, we're in a really good place. Ruby is so much fun. Medina is so much fun. I feel like we have a really good family balance. It's really amazing considering where we were a year ago with Ruby's behavior.

Memphis

2009-07-13T07:02:00.016-05:00

We spent this past weekend in Memphis. We went, as if you couldn't guess, with our best buds Joci and Pacey. We met up with three other families with kids from Ethiopia. While it wasn't the most relaxing long weekend get-away, it was still a blast. Here are some pics and tidbits about the weekend.

Yeah - who knows what this was about on the way there but isn't it a great photo op

Relaxing in the hotel room after 7 hours in the car

those 7 hours involved 1 lunch stop and 5 potty stops - oh the joys of a 2 1/2 year old bladder

Fast friends

Yay for crafty moms - Thanks Amy for the awesome aprons

Doesn't everyone hang out with the computer and DS under the desk?

Well, at least Anna, Beamlak, Medina, and Maryn do. ;-)

Okay - a little back ground -

Ruby has let me rock her to sleep all of maybe 5 times in her 2+ year with me

Ruby has much stranger anxiety and generally takes a long time to warm up to new people

After dinner she was looking tired. Renee asked her if she wanted to be rocked. Ruby said yes and climbed up in her lap. Renee rocked her to sleep.

Renee will forever be known as the baby whisperer.

All the other girls hanging out in bed

(Ruby's absent cause she's still in the arms of the baby whisperer)

Medina and Sophie

In front of the Memphis zoo

My sweet habesha

Hanging out with Anna and Sophie

She's just passing time until she can ask, "Mommy, why?"

Again, who knows what I did this time but still a good photo op

Hanging out with the panda

And the other panda

Watching the animals

Hanging out with the elephants

Everyone thought it was neat how he had his back leg crossed

The sea lion show was lots of fun

I took a picture of the back of her head because she started to cry every time she saw the camera pointed at her.

Medina with the "Ethiopia girls" as she called them because she had trouble remembering their names. Even though she couldn't always remember their names, she loved playing with Beamlak and Maryn.

The kids all kept yelling hi and bye to the rhino. Ruby yelled "hi hippo". Oh well.

Two sweet habesha girls

Ruby really loves her injera!

So does Beamlak

Maryn just loves sass. Okay, she likes injera too.

Anna may have the habesha dress but Medina has the Ethiopian flag bow. It wasn't enough to keep her from being put out with me that I didn't bring her habesha dress though.

Finally - I quit making her cry. :-)

The whole Memphis crew

Please note that everyone is looking at the camera

What's a trip to Memphis without making tired, hungry, kids who have to pee stand in front of the wall at Memphis.

Signing the wall

Medina asked very excitedly if Barak Obama lived here.

Later we were talking about Graceland and Elvis and she asked, "who's Elvis?" Obviously, I failed on our trip to Graceland.

Sun Studios

We only made about 5 wrong turns, including one detour into Arkansas trying to find it.

Isn't that the truth!

Post 2 hour nap in the car and glad to be headed home.

I think we only heard "are we there yet" about 10 times from Medina's mouth. Of course the first time was about 30 minutes into the 6+ hour drive.

What else happened over the weekend...

* The girls (and everyone else) got to meet my aunt and uncle. They had seen Ruby once the first summer she was home and they'd never met Medina.

* We spent about 2 hours without electricity at the hotel Saturday night.

* Pacey had a near death experience (choking in the car) on the way home.

* Shortly after Pacey's recovery, a bottle of mommy juice (aka wine) exploded in the car. Medina was totally repulsed but recovered herself with a little cucumber-melon spray.

* We only had to listen to "Itsy Bitsy Spider" 25ish times on the way home.

* Medina's eyes are still trying to recover from the crazy chlorine in the hotel pool.

* Ruby is a little nutso and decided that Sophie is Sophie but Nathan is also Sophie. Makes me wonder...

* While we were sad not to see Cecily, Ian, and their mom, we were all very glad not to have to use our nursing skills to aid Pyper's arrival on the front lawn of Graceland.

All in all, it was a great weekend and I can't wait to do it again.

Family Day 2009

2009-07-11T07:00:00.000-05:00

I saved all the pics of the girls together and of the three of us for today - the anniversary of the day we were finally all together. There were days in the beginning when I truly thought I'd ruined Ruby's life. Now we have such a great balance. Sure, there is sibling rivalry and squabbling but there is also true love on the part of both girls. I see in them the relationship that I hoped for as I dreamed of having two daughters.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Kerri's journey to mommyhood

Blog changes

Fav Foto Friday

An interesting encounter.

Wordless Wednesday

Conversations with Ruby

Thinking about privacy and again

Bubbles - I ♥ Faces

School

Fav Foto Friday

Want to win a super cute dress for your little sweetie?

MOGUATE 2009

More info on Imagine Adoptions - Canada

Fav Foto Friday

Wordless Wednesday

Nana's birthday picnic

Fav Foto Friday

I'm a real mom now!

Three Days for Three Daughters

Fav Foto Friday

Wordless Wednesday

Crisis in Canadian Adoptions ***edited***

Fav Foto Friday

A good place

Memphis

Family Day 2009

Crisis in Canadian Adoptions edited