hotpinksox

whataburger smell

2009-11-06T08:29:00.000-08:00

Last night I went over to my friend WD’s house. He is a good looking single dude looking for the right lady. I tried setting him up with a friend of mine but if didn’t work out. He is great but not my type. Plus there are some other reasons why it wouldn’t work with the two of us that I won’t get into here. It doesn’t matter what matters is the story he told me about his new lady friend.

He started by telling me he had met her through his roommate and another friend. A double intro is always a good start as far as I am concerned. They hung out for a few weeks (I didn’t get the specifics) with these mutual friends and alone. WD’s new lady friend was planning on leaving town for a few months but is returning. Two days ago they had an all day date/hang out. I sort of last date for awhile since she was leaving town the next day. WD told me that it was clear half way through the day that they were attracted to one another. He was pretty sure that if they were going to sleep together it was going to be that night. He said, she seemed to be thinking the same thing. They had kissed and made out before but nothing more that kissing. They went kayaking then hung out at her house, had a few beers, changed clothes, went to dinner then again back to her house for some friendly relations. WD said by the time they got back to her place he knew it was on. They had had mental foreplay at dinner. Talking sex, flirting... He knew and she knew. WD said they started messing around. Clothes started to come off. She was on top, clearly ready to do the deed. He took off her shirt and.... scratching across the record. B.O.! The poor girl had B.O. WD said he had smelled something earlier in the day but he dismissed it. They had gone to her house for a few hours before dinner and he thought she had cleaned up but she obviously she had not. The smell WD said was so bad that he couldn’t continue with the messing around. Everything stopped there. Of course he didn’t tell the girl why things had stopped. He claimed he had to wake up early and told her how much he wanted to but he knew it wasn’t a good idea given that he had to get up at 5am. (this is true, he works 6am to 3pm) WD did mention that his new lady was a little hippie.

WD story got me thinking about hygiene and grooming when it comes to sex. I asked WD if he had to have his lady’s snatch looking a certain way. He said no. But she had to smell good. He said he could over look an over grown vagina and even over grown leg hair (which his lady friend also had).

After his story, and when I could control my laugher (I am a horrible person, I know), I told WD how he smells (like cut grass). And all of our mutual friends. He couldn’t believe that his friend smelled like Sweet Tarts. Or that is other bff smelled like leather and weed. I told him how an old bf of mine smelled like chocolate cookies. And how when a man smells bad like moldy to me I know I should stay away from him. Then I said, “Does your lady friend smell like Whataburger?” (Whataburger is a Texas burger chain that has the best burger but they smell like B.O. and onions). WD stood up and shouted “YES! That is the smell!” I understand why he stopped the sex from happening. There is no way I could sleep with someone who smells like Whataburger.

things broken

2009-11-02T14:13:00.001-08:00

This weekend I was thinking about all the things I have broken on/in my body this year. First my rib, it was painful. And it might be the most painful bone to break. I have been told it takes twice a long to heal as most bones. And since it has been almost 6 months and I still have pain, I believe it is. Then there was my heart, I am still reeling from that break. It seems to get aggravated when I hear a love song, when an email comes into my inbox, or when I see couples on the street. It is in these times that I feel achy and crushed again. Not sure when this will heal completely. Some days it feels like it never will. I try to protect myself against further pain to my heart by changing the radio station when I hear a song, trying to take deep breaths when looking at email or looking away when I see a sweet couple. It usually comes out of nowhere and hits me in the stomach so hard I have to fight back tears. I hope that some day I will look back at this time and think it was all worth the pain. Right now, it doesn't seem worth it. Then my ankle, while it is technically not broken, it doesn’t work correctly so it is broken in my book. I know this won’t take that much time to heal. A few months from now I should be walking with out this dumb boot. I wish my heart would heal as quickly.

broken or not broken?

2009-10-29T08:26:00.000-07:00

I may or may not have broken my ankle. When I got to the doctor's office yesterday he thought I broke my tibia. The bone that is broken is very small and with the swelling in my foot they can't find the break. I may or may not have to have surgery on my ankle. I find out Friday. I will have a new cast tomorrow. My fourth. Until then I have to have my foot in an ice machine or on ice packs or in an ice bath. I am not happy or comfortable.

club foot

2009-10-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

How am I in a black fracture boot and on crutches? I stepped off a curb and fell into a storm drain. I was sober. It's not broken but I have to go back to the doctor after the swelling goes down to see if I torn any ligaments. It hurts like hell.

No you can't have any of my drugs.

how have you been?

2009-10-23T14:45:00.001-07:00

Tonight I have a lady date with my fabulous hairdresser. She also happens to be a friend. I can’t wait. I miss her laugh.

I have a low key weekend planned with lots of bathroom projects in mind. More sanding, a trip to the supply store for a replacement tile and a good cleaning of the whole bathroom so I can start the next steps. I want to get a run in tomorrow morning and maybe some garage sales too. Tomorrow night I have a family date planned with my great family at a French place that is quickly become my favorite place. Justine’s. I can’t wait.

Sunday more bathroom projects, maybe even the beginnings of painting. Nah.... I’m not making any promises.

Quick story... The other day I pulled into the coffee shop parking lot like I do most weekday mornings. I saw a man who I thought was the handyman who had come to my house the day before to give me a bid on a fence. I must of looked like I knew him because he looked at me and smiled. I thought, “oh it must be him” but as I walked closer I realized it wasn’t. He said, “hello, how have you been?” just like we did know each other. Which catch me off guard. It got me thinking about how that kind of thing must happen all the time. And I wondered how many times a day that does happen. How many times a day do you think it happens that you see someone you know but it isn’t that person?

awesome and awful at the same time

2009-10-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

I’m afraid I had to kick Summer Lover’s ass because I got sick. The doctor says upper respiratory infection and/or strep throat. He gave me some antibiotics to take and as of 4pm today I am feeling better-ish. Throat still hurts and I am still a little raspy. Summer Lover asked a favor of me today. In therapy I have been working on recognizing when a man is taking advantage of me and my nice ways. I told Summer Lover I would do it but now I think he might be taking advantage to me. How does one tell? I need to ask more questions about this favor.

Went to therapy today, I love and hate it at the same time. Awesome and awful. How can that be that I like something so much but dread going and hate feeling so worn out after. I really want some peace from my mind and feelings. I think I had a break through today. It felt like one and my therapist got very excited when I said the break through thing. I wish for a recipe to make everything better. If I knew exactly what to do, I would do it. Like losing weight, I know what I need to do so I do it.

Another thing I would like today is for my jean to stop smelling funny. I washed them but I hung them up to dry. They smell moldy. I hate that smell.

I have tentive lady date scheduled with my fabulous hairdresser for Friday. I hope our opposite life schedules can come together for a nice meal and fun conversation. If it fall through I’ll have a date with myself and a rented movie. I wanted to babysit this weekend and make some money but when the sickness set in yesterday morning I scrapped that idea completely. Sometimes you need some alone time to reset yourself on the right path. But I also want to see my fabulous hairdresser.

Mom was in town last night. Dad is in town tonight. Bathroom is the same. I have a lot to do on Saturday, like finish the sanding once and for all. And replace the now missing tile in the wall. My hope is that after this weekend, I will be ready to paint the first coat of primer.

I better not be sick.

2009-10-20T14:35:00.000-07:00

I just found out that Summer Lover has been sick for the last 3 days. Which means that dude was sick when we made out on Friday.

If I get sick from him, I am going to have to kick his ass. I will get out of my death bed and drive over to his house to kick it. I will!

do it herself

2009-10-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

The plumber came today and fixed all the work done to my shower faucet pipes. My friend who fixed it did do a good job, just not a complete job. It is finally fixed and now I need to figure out what to do about the 3 foot hole left in the wall in my closet. I have decided that any work I do to my bathroom has to be done twice. I fixed the toilet on Sunday. It no longer leaks. And PS I fixed it ALL BY MYSELF!! But I had to do it twice. The first time was a few weeks ago. Then today I tried to replace the missing broken tile. I ended up breaking the new tile which means I have to go back to the store to get another one. Everything twice. Lucky for me I will only need to paint once, two coats I’m sure, but only one paint job. I am still a few weeks away from painting. I haven’t been sanding at all in the last few weeks. I just don’t want to do it. It fucking sucks.

In other news, I’m in a pair of size 6 jeans today. And dare I say they are comfortable. I’m working out at lunch today and hopefully the rest of the week. I got to get back on that working out train. I was such a slacker last week. I want a rocking bod by New Years. Tone arms, flat tummy, tight ass.... The weird part is I eat more and more often now than I did before. I am also working on more than ever before.....

I have only cried once so far today. It would be nice to make it a whole day with no tears.

bdi (bad drunk idea)

2009-10-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

My efforts to ignore Summer Lover on Friday both worked and didn’t work. It worked because all day he was nervous about why I wasn’t my normal self. He asked me a few 100 times what was wrong. Then at happy hour I pulled him aside and said, “It has come to my attention that you think I still like you.” He erupted in nervous, loud talk of denial. I laughed and said, “Whoa, you are protesting too much. Maybe you like me.” We talked it out and made up, deciding that we could flirt but we both understood that nothing was behind it. Skip ahead a few hours later and many more drinks consumed....

Here where things didn’t work. We ended up making out in his car when we all switched venues. Both of our phones started going off as we made out in his car. Texts and phone calls to both of our phones from our friends in the bar. “where are you?” “what’s going on?” Needless to say, everyone figured out where we were and what we were up to. I didn’t bother denying it. What was the point, we were caught. Why doesn’t this work? Because now Summer Lover will never believe me when I say, “I’m not into you like that.”

The truth is, I was lonely and horny. And it is always easier to go with someone you already know works for you then to find someone new. I got a text from Summer Lover on Sunday saying something about being too hungover to hang out on Saturday (I guess we had decided that we should hang out the next day to pick up where we left off). I replied that I too was too hungover to hang out and it was a bad drunk idea to begin with. I think everything is cool with us. Thankfully I didn’t do anything more (like actually do him).

in the jeans

2009-10-16T07:42:00.000-07:00

I take back (most of) what I said about skinny jean yesterday. Why you ask? Because today I am wearing another pair of skinny jeans. These are truly skinny jeans. You know the kind that hug your hips AND your whole leg. Hipsters like to wear them with white belts. You know the kind? Well when I was very sick a few years ago I went out and bought a pair of Levi's size 5 (!) skinny jeans. I could barely fit my ass in them for more than a few weeks. I had hoped that I would get a lot of wear out of them but I didn't. I remembered these jeans last night when I was going to bed. I searched my closet this morning, found them and pull them on. I had to jump into them, but I didn't have to lay on the bed to button them. They fit and with a top that is just a little longer I can hide my muffin top. I ran into Sister at the coffee shop this morning and she said they looked good. So I am wearing them to work. I hope that I don't end up unbuttoning them half way through the day.

In other news, Summer Lover came into the office and I ignored him. I plan to blast Carly Simon's 1972 #1 hit from my office later today.

you are so vain

2009-10-15T14:58:00.001-07:00

It has come to my attention that Summer Lover has told a few of my friends in the office that I still like him. I want to clear the air. I do NOT still like Summer Lover. I do want to be friends with him. I have been flirtatious with him. I thought we could be flirtatious because we were past any romantic relationship and now friends. But I guess I can't flirt with him because then he'll think I LOVE him. He has a huge ego. Do I think he is cute? YES. Do I want to date him? NO. And here's why. He is always late, always. I think that people who are late are rude. He is also self centered. (as illustrated by the fact that he thinks I still like him.) He has seen me crying in my office, he has asked me why I am so upset, I have told him. Yet he still thinks I like him? Can his ego be any bigger? And he's not my forever dude. I am thankful that I figured that out.

Here is what I want to say to him....
Summer Lover, I want to explain something to you so you don't misunderstand my actions. I do not still like you. I am heart broken over my recent break up. (which I think you know.) If I flirt with you there is nothing behind it, it is harmless. I thought we were past this, which is why I sometimes might be flirtatious with you. I thought we both understood that. I'm sorry if you mistook my actions for something else but I want to be clear, I do not like you.

skinny jean can screw with your head

2009-10-15T12:44:00.000-07:00

I haven’t written about this at any length because well I don’t know why it is happening and I don’t know exactly how I feel about it. I’ll try to explain. It is not a secret that I am mending a broken heart these days. This broken heart has me in a state of change which has found me very depressed. I believe I might be more depressed than I have ever been in my life. I am working on fixing that. Please bare with me while I work on fixing it. During this time I have lost a lot of weight. I am very happy that I have lost it. I have a flat tummy for the first time in years. But I fear that I lost it because of this broken heart and not in a healthy way. I have eating issues. I always have. I have dealt with them, I know why I do what I do to lose weight. Lately, I have been healthy. I admit that I haven’t been as hungry as I usually am. And I admit that I have been running (save for this week) more to keep my mind off the heart break. Unless a girl can lose weight crying I can’t think of why I can now fit into my skinniest of jeans. I have completely lost my ass, not my boobs thankfully. Sure I have talked about my weight here on this blog but have I ever talked about my eating disorder(s)? I don’t think I have at any length.

I have been at times, resisted food, binged on food, over exercised, taken pills, thrown up, dieted... You name it, I have tried it to lose weight. I’m not proud of it. I’m just stating the facts. Which is why when I was diagnosed with Diabetes that the idea of certain foods being off limits was hard for me at first. The first thing you learn when healing from an eating disorder is no food should be off limits. There is nothing more annoying to me than food being off limits because someone else tells me it is off limits. I can make it off limits to myself but someone else telling me it’s off limits sets me off (so to speak). Of course I know this is part of the “control” people with eating disorders struggle with. I also know that changes in plans or relationships set me off too (again part of the “control” struggle I have). Maybe I am losing weight because I need control over something in life. I know that unless I get this weight thing under control I won’t ever be in a healthy mind set. Eating disorders fuck with your mind because you don’t have the nutrition your body needs to think straight. So even though I love the fact that my jeans are too big, I hate that I feel so fucked in the head.

depressed

2009-10-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

I am so utterly depressed. I don’t think I have ever been this depressed in my life. Everyone I know is passing me by in life. Getting married, having babies, in relationships. I am in the same rut I have been in for the last 10 years.

tears.......

my fence

2009-10-13T13:59:00.001-07:00

The saga continues.... Several men have promised to build me a fence including family members, lovers and friends. I am so very tired on being told they are going to do it and none of them come through. I basically put a “down payment” on the fence with one friend in July. It is now October. I know that some of that money was used to buy supplies to fix my shower faucet, which I might add wasn’t done correctly and has cost me more money. Because of what will be three visits from other plumbers. I feel like I have been fucked over by this once friend, I just want my money back so I can walk away from the friendship. I have asked for it back. It has only been one day, but I haven’t gotten it back yet. I am giving him an out, to just give me my money and we never have to speak again as far as I am concerned. I know I just need to practice some patience it will be in my mail box tonight. Every time I think about the fence, I get upset... I can’t even finish this post because I am so upset.

finding my people

2009-10-12T12:10:00.001-07:00

“These are my people.”

I have heard this phase a lot lately. I want to find my people again. There are some friends I have, who always make me feel at home, like they are my people. But more and more I am disappointed when I find that I was wrong about others. These are NOT my people..... How could I have been so wrong to think these are my people.

I want the people I had back, like old friends I never see anymore. But things change, life changes and your people are sometimes not your people anymore because they have moved on. And you have not. (or at least that is how I am feeling about it today.)

I think in order to find my people (old or new) I need to find myself.

give me some zzzzzzz's

2009-10-12T11:16:00.001-07:00

This morning I dropped $160 on a plumber to come fix the mess I made when I tried to replace my bathroom faucet myself. Apparently, old houses are not the easiest to replace things in. While I love the idea of empowerment through home repair, I really want a handy dude around to help with these things. I keep being reminded that I am not physically strong enough to do some of these things. I get into them and then realize I’m a weakling. If I had all the money in the world to spend on repair I would happily pay for it. But since I am on the smallest budget known to (wo)man I can only call in the professionals when things get really bad. This Sunday things got really bad.....

I talked to my therapist about dating. I told her I didn’t think I should be dating right now. Of course because I decided that the two dudes I have been dating casually keep calling, emailing and texting. I have tried to not respond or respond limitedly. But that doesn’t seem to be working. One dude I have only gone out with once so telling him I am not dating right now seems a little premature. He hasn’t even asked me out again. The second I have gone out with twice and run into out one other time. I like him as a friend right now and want to keep his friendship. But because I don’t know where he is at, I feel like telling him “hey, I’m not dating because I’m so fucked up from my last relationship” sounds again premature.

I ended up spending most of the day in bed yesterday because I was so depressed from home repair and basic feelings of defeat. I was so exhausted all day that I finally gave in and took to my bed. I never sleep when depressed. But all I wanted to do was wrap myself into a tiny ball and sleep away the day. I had plans to see a friend for dinner. And a tentative plan to see another friend for a paella party. I really wanted to attend both but it became clear that attending the paella party wasn’t going to work for timing with my dinner plans and my mood. I almost cancelled on the dinner too. But some how got out of bed, dressed and met my friend at a fabulous French restaurant on the East side. A glass of wine and good meal helped my mood. Then I went home and crawled back into my bed for more sleep. Honestly, I could sleep right now if you let me. All I want to do it put on my yoga pants and t-shirt and sleep.....

heavy heart

2009-10-07T14:17:00.000-07:00

Please, please, please take away this sadness in my heart. I am sick of crying all the time. I have a very heavy heart these days. My heart got hurt when I saw something I shouldn’t have this afternoon. It hurt to realize that what you thought you knew as true really isn’t.

I shouldn’t be dating because of this heavy heart but I have a date tonight. He is a nice man who I should be into but I know I can’t get involved with until I fix myself. How do I tell him that I am not ready to date?

I had my hair done today by the Marfa hair dresser. Turns out he just got himself a lady. They have been dating a month so when I met him, he was in the new stages. He said he was crazy about her and he she. I left thinking “God, I hope someone tells someone about me someday.” He seemed really happy. I'm glad I got my hairs did and I am glad he did it (because the conversation was nice) but I felt like I was cheating on my hair lady. I hope she gets her hair cuttin' situation fixed soon so I can see her again. At least until she decides to not cut hair anymore.

I keep saying I am on a journey of self discovery. I feel like I need to go away Eat, Pray, Love style but my pocket book doesn’t allow that right now. I guess my bathroom can be my Eat, Pray, Love... Scrap, paint, remodel. But maybe I should read the book first so I know what it is all about?

healing up 90 days style

2009-10-05T13:03:00.000-07:00

Went to ACL this weekend. Fun times until it wasn’t. Not because of the rain or the mud or the dillo dirt (which is people poop). But because my head got full of bullshit gossip. I got mind fucked to the point that I didn’t know which way was up. I am not going to lie. I sat and listened to the BS when I could have easily gotten up and walked away from it. I don’t want any part of it anymore. A very bright woman wrote a very smart piece about this very subject... Read it.

Another funny thing I learned about gossip.... Austin is one small ass town. I simply mention I met someone cool and suddenly I know his ex gf’s name, what medications he’s on and told how I shouldn’t date the man. I never said I was interested in him as a lover, just a friend. But such is the life of a single lady.

In the end, I walked away feeling shity about myself and the decisions I have made lately. Today I feel more healed up and thankful that I heard what I heard. I wish I wasn’t so gullible. I have little faith in men right now. All of them seem to be dogs. I can’t let my heart get hurt again. So until I get my shit straight again I’ll be in this little cocoon I have made, I am going to fill my life with people so are true friends. (this morning I was reminded of what I good friend I have in Summer Lover. Sure having him in my office every day can get me a little blurry in my head. He is so handsome. But that man is a nice one maybe he is good because he is self aware? Or maybe it’s because he has a daughter? He’s not the one for me but he is still a good one.) I am also going to do the 90 day rule for the next dude. If he can’t handle it then... Too bad for him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PedFMBCSaVg

turning around?

2009-09-30T10:31:00.000-07:00

So maybe things are turning around for me. Sure, I started the day feeling sore. And I cried in the car on the way to work.

BUT

I got my car cleaned of all the bug goo from my weekend road trip. And I got a free ticket to ACL. In just under an hour, I will be going to my first therapy appointment in years.

Wish me luck.

part two of just one reason to love Marfa, Texas

2009-09-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this blog with this statement, He’s not going to call me so the rest of this story isn’t relevant.

But here's what happened. Ray came to breakfast with us. It was fun. He mentioned that he dated a girl in conversation so he's not gay.

We hugged good bye. And that was it.

I feel so fucked up when it comes to men these days. My first therapy appointment can't come soon enough.

just one reason to love Marfa, Texas

2009-09-27T19:10:00.001-07:00

"I wanted to do your hair today" he said as we sat outside one Saturday evening in Marfa, Texas. We had seen him all over town the day before. A cool, hip dude traveling alone with a warm smile and easy nod hello. Earlier that day, he introduced himself pool side at our mutual hotel. His name was Ray. He owned a salon in our hometown. He came to town to cut the local ladies hair every three months. We thought he must be gay. Hello a male hair dresser! As we were getting ready for the wedding we were in town to attend, he had the front desk call our room to deliver a message. If we wanted to have our hair done for the wedding to come on over to his room. Sister and I went. Sister told me as we made our way to his room that my hair looked great. It was decided she would get her hair done.

I was shocked to hear he wanted to do my hair. We had talked most of the night and I was still trying to figure out his sexuality. Earlier when we danced I couldn't figure it out. Every other word he said made me guess, oh yes, maybe not, yes, NO way! all night. But then he said that and I knew. But he quickly announced he needed to leave. We all decided to leave but as big groups go, not everyone was ready that moment. I ran after him asking him to stop.

"I need to leave."

"how will I.... ( we had decided we were meeting for breakfast the next morning) should I knock on your door in the morning?"

"yes, knock on my door in the morning" he said as he hugged me.

I lightly tapped on his door the next morning. I had prepared a note (with my phone number). I really wanted to leave the note so my knock was barely a tap. While we were checking out of the hotel he called....

Stay tuned for part two.

quote

2009-09-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

This is why denial is so baffling: You have no idea you're in it. Rather than thinking, "I am now displaying unwarranted trust," you just feel…off. Confused. Maybe a little crazy. Maybe a lot crazy. Something seems wrong, and over time, it feels wronger and wronger. Those of us with badly calibrated trust-o-meters usually think the wrongness must be in us, that if we can somehow think or work or love better, our painful relationships with the alcoholic racist stalkers in our lives will somehow become perfect.

-author unknown

My friend Lurlene sent this to me this morning. It came at the best time. Thank you friend.

update: that quote came from this article. Oh that Oprah sure does know people who know stuff. And the end of page two there is a trust o meter test to see just how fucked up your trust o meter is.... Well, mine is really fucked. Out of 104 I scored 101. Apparently, I trust all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. I need to have my trust o meter recalibrated now. I have an appointment next week to talk to someone. Hopefully, I will stop crying soon.

so disappointed

2009-09-21T14:07:00.000-07:00

One girl’s asshole is another girl’s Prince Charming. I said that to my bff SBL years ago when she was dating a wonderful man who's bad rep preceded him.

Other news, Summer Lover is still working in my building across from my office. He has watched me cry every day for the last 2 weeks.

In bathroom remodeling news, I came home from being out of town this weekend to find water on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. I nearly blew my brains out. I think this bathroom might drive me to the casa loca. I think I fixed it but I can't be sure until I get home tonight. I wish I could blink and my bathroom would be the one of my dreams. I wish, I wish, I wish......

feeling fung-y

2009-09-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

I recently (at the beginning of the summer) read something about fung shui and realized that my love and relationship corner had a trash can in it. I quickly moved the trash can and put my condoms in the corner instead. Guess what happened? I got laid. Then a dear friend told me about the man sized hole idea. The idea is if you make a hole the size of a man in your house the universe with fill it with a man. I have started to do this. I have started cleaning up my closets (a man needs a place to hang his clothes). I have thrown out the things I don’t need in my bathroom and started the great bathroom remodel of 2009. I have started cleaning up the house of crap in general. I also am going to use the Secret and ask the universe (can't have too many things working in my favor.) Which also brings me to ask you readers for some help. If you a fucking fantastic man who you think might get along with me. Send him my way. Think of it as dating Karma. I have my eyes peeled for my friends too.

All that said.... here is my request.

Dear universe,
I would like a man to come into my life. We’ve talked about the kind of man. I know you know the perfect one for me. I will continue to work on my man sized hole and prepare myself for this wonderful man you send me. I believe it will happen. Will you help me realize who he is when he gets here? I will keep my eyes and heart open but if I forget and gentle reminder from you might be needed. I know you will know how to show me when the time comes. I will also work on being patient while you do you work.

Thank you!

Heart,
Hps

blind date recap

2009-09-17T08:37:00.001-07:00

I admit now that the picture I saw of my blind date was a blurry sasquatch picture. He was cute, not hot, maybe handsome.... He was fluffy but not fat. He was nice. We had a nice conversation. I didn’t feel sparks. But usually when I feel sparks that ends badly for me. I’d see him again if he asks me out. I had a nice time. There were some warning signs....

You know how men feel about women who want to get married and have children. We’ve all heard men lament about how unattractive it is for a woman to be focused on babies and marriage. Last night I realized just how unattractive it can be. Blind date wants kiddos... BAD!!!! And while I love children, I have accepted the idea that children might not be for me. I love sleeping in on the weekends. I like not being woken up in the middle of the night. I like that I can do whatever I choose to do because I don’t have to be home to care for children. Sure I babysit all the time, maybe that is why I don’t want children anymore. I get my fix. Instant birth control. This is not to say that if I were to meet the right guy that all might change for me. I am unsure, leaning more towards no than yes.

Red flag number two. Blind date is Jewish. He celebrates the Jewish holidays with his family who he see regularly. His father doesn’t eat pork and doesn’t approve of him eating pork. I’m a gentile who loves bacon. I fear that his father would not approve of me. This isn’t to say that if we decided we liked each other it couldn’t be worked out... But I know I don’t I want to give up my faith. Or pig fat.

I did however have a good time talking to him. Like most first dates, he talked about himself a lot and didn’t ask me any questions about myself. This happens a lot on first dates, which is why I always go on a second date if asked. He did tell me he would like to see me again. I’d like to see him again too. If asked it I want to be set up again will I do it? HELL YES!

After my blind date I called my writer friend and told her all about it. And she did here read her other articles too, she is awesome.

In other news, I fixed my toilet all by myself last night with a zip tie. I FUCKING FIXED IT!!!!! BY MYSELF!!!!!! I was so proud of myself.