Jart in My Head

I Now Pronounce you Bride of Frankenstein and Ghost Pirate

2007-10-30T12:08:00.000-04:00

Although this is outside the normal scope of the blog, I would be remiss in not mentioning the Halloween costume wedding that my friends had a few years ago. Not only did they manage to have an amazingly cool wedding, but they insisted that everyone - and I mean everyone - wear a costume. Amazingly enough, people actually abided by their wishes - although not without some arm twisting. Not one person showed up without a costume!They held the event at a local club with a light up disco floor, which is where they said their vows. And the cake? Even their cake had a Halloween theme, comlete with orange frosting, skeleton bride and groom, skulls, and tombstones!The best thing about the wedding was that it was fun, and not in that uncomfortable way that other weddings are fun. You're always too worried about how you look or spilling something on your good clothes, and you can't wait to get home so you can change your clothes and relax.

I took the previous photos. But take a look at the following photos taken by the official photographer Matt Robbins. He's an awesome photographer and did a great job. Here are some of my favorite shots and some of my favorite costumes.

The bride of Frankenstein and Ghost Pirate groom stab the wedding cake Swampman and Bride of Swampman were covered in real moss Love the skeleton Jesus with Christmas light crown of thorns It's Ape vs Present in a fight to the death on the disco floor Psycho eyesChinese Hopping Vampires swarm the bride and groom Nice costume Bride goes insane He has no face! The eye patch, the sock garters, oh my! The Hamburgler shares his hamburgers with an uninterested patron The problem with being a present creepy 'stache Funny face fencer

Halloween Fun with Dr. Spektor and Little Lulu

2007-10-25T23:32:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure why I have Little Lulu comics because I don't care for her. No siree, I don't care for her at all. I do remember reading this Golden Comics Digest repeatedly though. It's an all Halloween issue, so that somehow made it more interesting.

I didn't find Little Lulu or Tubby to be funny. This is a sample of the typical Halloween shenanigans Tubby and Little Lulu experience throughout the digest. What I enjoy about Tubby's costume is that the plastic mask is able to change expression depending on his mood. Quite rare for masks of that era.
Unfortunately Tubby is upset that Little Lulu was not fooled by his costume. Might I suggest he pay more attention to his costume? I suspect he is the only ghost running around wearing a sailor hat .

But here is where the Halloween Fun issue gets good. Someone wisely included some fantastic Halloween action for the kids. This is a neat-o idea, as long as the kids don't accidentally get lemon juice in their eyes. It stings like hell, but it's worth the risk. What kid wouldn't love the idea of writing secret notes?

For those who like haunted houses and mazes, here we see Little Lulu and Tubby do their best Scooby and Shaggy imitation. The only difference is that these ghosts look real, not like something done by a rancher with a movie projector. Run Tubby Run!
Hey, it's Dr. Spektor and his special on Spirit Photography! Now we're talking!! And we know this is seriously spooky stuff because not only is the Doctor dressed in olde tyme clothes, but in the first panel he states that he has devoted his entire life to the study of the occult. Awesome!

Note that the upper right drawing states, "Many spirit photographs however....like this shot..." I like how they want kids to look at it as if it's real, not just a drawing done by someone who may or may not have seen a copy of the actual photo.
I would have enjoyed a whole comic digest full of this stuff. Dr. Spektor rules!!

The mystery of Patience Worth would have been more appealing if it had been done in comic panels, like the feature on spirit photographs. The story is one of ouija boards, reincarnation, disembodied spirits, and mediums.

While I may not be thrilled by Tubby and his pliable ghost face, the rest of the digest was definitely cool.

You'll Die Laughing...Uh No I Won't

2007-10-18T23:13:00.000-04:00

As a child in the seventies, I spent much of my allowance on bubblegum cards. And what could be more appealing to a kid than bubblegum cards with monsters on them? Nothing! Not one damn thing. At least that was the initial thought in my young mind when I picked up a pack of "You'll Die Laughing" monster cards.

However once I opened the waxy paper pack and breathed in the lovely smell of the hard rectangle of pink bubblegum, one thing became readily apparent. The cards were much cooler before I actually looked at them.
It's an awesome classic wolfman photo, hooray!! But what's that say under his photo? Hair restorer?

Even as a kid, I didn't think that was even remotely funny. I'm not sure if it's really just not funny, if it's more a 1950s kind of funny, or if it's because when I was about ten my dad said, "Hey kids, there's this new show that's supposed to be really funny. It's called Monty Pythons Flying Circus." That definitely ruined me for white bread comedy.
This photo still creeps me out. Nothing funny about a skinless guy wondering why a girl has rejected him. In fact, I give Susan a lot of credit for trying to let him down easy, rather than immediately running away, screaming in horror. Susan is so thoughtful.
I can't even think of anything to say about the Creature from the Black Lagoon singing opera.
So the concierge comes into the room, sees the bloody remains of the woman who rented the room last night and politely asks her skeleton to leave. The fact that he is unphased by this type of scene makes me wonder what condition he normally finds the hotel guests in. He scares me.
And as if the lines on the front of the cards weren't bad enough, we get more jokes on the backs of the cards.

Not trying to rain on anyone's parade here, but kids love monsters. So why not give them cool photos without the unfunny lines underneath them. I only bought one pack of these cards because of those damn Vegas jokes under the cool monster photos.

Haunted House of Flying Walnuts

2007-10-15T12:59:00.000-04:00

What better time of the year to read stories about Haunted Houses than October? This book was offered in the early 70s through my grade school's book fair. What kid wouldn't want to read about ghosts?
The best section is titled "The Ghosts that Were Photographed," and includes a photo from Raynham Hall in England in the year 1936. As a kid I was mesmerized by this photo of what is supposedly a veiled figure descending the staircase. The thought of being in a spooky old mansion, looking up and seeing a ghost coming towards was super scary.
The coolest story was about the farm poltergeist in Hartville, Missouri. Little Betty Ruth and her grandmother were cracking walnuts when all of a sudden, walnuts were flying left and right! Poor grandma even got a few walnuts to the skull,which almost broke her glasses. The drawing portrays a whimsical walnut ballet. Guess it's better to leave kids with this image than that of a maniacal poltergeist reigning blows upon an innocent little old lady in a rocking chair.
This diagram maps the mischief of the Bottle Popping Poltergeist by documenting each bottle he moved and the trajectory each object took - oddly compelling, yet utterly useless. If only they had mapped the flying walnut incident.

More Halloween Mask Madness

2007-10-09T16:30:00.000-04:00

In keeping with the Johnson Smith Company's spectacular not-so-realistic rubber masks of the 1970s, comes this second wave of horror. These appeared in the 1977 catalog. The color pages of the catalog were the coolest since they contained photos rather than line drawings.
More deluxe masks, two of which appeared previously in the 1975 catalog. I'm glad to see that all the masks boast "heavy simulated hair". Yes sir, there's nothing the kids love more than encasing their heads in rubber covered in questionable fun fur. I'm surprised to see the catalog is still using the same drawing for the inebriated, radioactive Santa mask. Joy of all joys, this catalog has a photo of the deluxe Planet of the Apes mask! He looks so happy and cute, sort of like a baby opposum whose eyes haven't quite opened yet. Isn't he a cute little ape mask? Yes he is, but there is also something about him that is quite disturbing. Speaking of highly disturbing, dare we look at the Deluxe Werewolf mask? Our werewolf has a serious hair issue. I have never seen a werewolf with striped fur. It is confusing and distracting. How very unscary. I wonder if this affliction affects his entire body or only his skull? Kids from near and far will make up cruel playground chants about the Werewolf with the Stripe-y Head. But I don't mean to rain on the werewolf parade. I'm sure he was very scary to small children in the more innocent, drug induced haze of the 1970s. Onward and upward to the Deluxe Demon mask! I'm thinking that if your friend said, "Hey, I've got a deluxe demon mask" you'd be expecting something horrific-ly terrifying! Your knees would knock just thinking about the super scary mask that would be foisted upon your eyes Halloween night. Then he'd show up with this thing on his noggin and you'd immediately have to beat the bejeezus out of him and steal his candy. Calling this mask a Demon is completely misleading. Let's be perfectly honest here. Demon's are scary. This mask is not. Therefore, this mask is not a demon. It would be far more accurate to call this mask the Deluxe Green Haired, Limited Intellect Ape with Candy Dispensing Nostrils.

This brings us somehow to the Professional Star Trek masks. These masks were supposedly done from life masks of Spock and Kirk. I don't ever remember seeing a kid wearing one of these. In 1977 Star Trek was in reruns, so it's not like kids didn't know who they were. But it probably wasn't as cool as costumes of current tv stars or super heroes.

Most kids I knew bought costumes in a box. I dont' even remember rubber masks being available in any local stores. Plus if you bought the rubber mask, then you needed to come up with the appropriate costume. So it was easier just to buy the box that included a costume and cheapie plastic mask.Not a bad Spock mask at all. I'm not sure how this would look on a kid, but there's no mistaking the strange bowl haircut and point ears. But Kirk, what the hell? I would never know this was Captain Kirk. He looks sort of old, feeble minded, and oh I don't know, like there's something really wrong with him. He's giving me the creeps. I keep expecting to see him standing outside my house with a large knife. Why would I ever worry about Captain Kirk being a serial killer? Kirk isn't known for slashing teenagers, just his shirts to show off his ample pseudo-muscley chest. So why is he scaring me? Yikes!That's right. Micheal Myers is Captain Kirk! Aaaarrrgghhh!!! Can you imagine the poor Trekker who bought a Kirk mask and after Halloween came out had kids runnign and screaming in horror when they saw him (even though he stated the prime directive of not interferring in life on your planet, which would include not stabbing you?) Now that's a creepy nightmare in action!

1975 Johnson Smith Co. Catalog Corners Realistic Rubber Mask Market

2007-10-06T13:50:00.000-04:00

In 1974 I ordered a huge Bela Lugosi poster from the Johnson Smith Company, which got me on their mailing list, such as it was. The Johnson Smith catalog was a kids dream. It was all the crappy stuff advertised in comic books and so much more. You could buy magic tricks, karate technique books, black light posters, fake vampire blood, ventriloquist dummies, and many other strange and wonderful things.

I always wanted to buy some of their Halloween masks, but it was next to impossible since I went through my allowance within a day. Plus with an allowance of fifty cents, there was no way for me to snag the three dollar and ninety five cent gorilla mask. I guess it's a good thing since I suspect that the masks were not as life-like as the drawings in the ad. (Yes, I said DRAWINGS!? They didn't even dare to show them to kids, how good could they be?!)

What a fine selection of masks, you admiringly say. But may I advise you to take a closer look? The Bridal Skull mask always creeped me out, what with the upsidedown cupcake baking cup on her head. And what about Frankenstein? His expression looks like your best friend's chain smoking mom when she was mad about him tracking mud all over the freshly cleaned linoleum floor. But worst of all is the pathetic vampire on the far right. First off, he appears to have a very nasty head wound. Second, there's nothing scary about a vampire who's facial expression and slack jaw make him appear to have the intellect of an inbred hillbilly. Third, he looks extremely tired, as if when you ran away, he'd have to sit down, hold his side, and catch his breath. Lastly, he reminds me of Don Rickles, and there ain't nothing scary about Don - I'm talking Vegas Rickles, not mobster or vampire Rickles here.

These masks boastfully claim to be made by European craftsmen and look like a professional Hollywood makeup job. Supposedly you can eat, laugh, and talk while wearing these. What kid wouldn't want to be a dirty old man or dirty old woman? My friends and I used to beg, kick, and scream for our parents to buy us the super old grizzled grandparent masks. But every year we had to be monsters, superheros, and pirates. What a ripoff!

When I was a kid, I always wanted a bald head wig. I'm not sure why, it just seemed really funny. But this is one wig that I found creep-o-liciously disturbing. It claims to be undetectable without a close look. Uh, yeah, okay. I hate to be the one to tell them, but adding ginormous oversized ears -that they refer to as cauliflower but look more like Spock - and strange scraggly hair to a bald wig does not make for a very realistic sight. And while it claims to cover sideburns, we can clearly see the guy's not so long side burns sticking out from under part of the wig. The shame! Run away! Run away!

These are a product I always wanted to own. Can you imagine walking around with gorrilla hands and feet? And the feet slip on over your shoes!! That would certainly make you look very strange as you padded along the street, all gorrilla like, grabbing things with your big oversized rubbery go-rilla hands. Although I am a bit concerned with the description as it states that the hands and feet "never fail to incite most violent reaction." All I can picture is someone ripping my gorilla hands and feet off, and beating me insanely about the cranium with them. There that'll show you, you damn dirty ape!

Speaking of damn dirty apes, as a kid who was a major fan of the Planet of the Apes tv show, I really wanted this realistic deluxe ape mask, with real ape hair. They killed millions of apes just to make these masks. Johnson Smith calls it the finest ape mask they've ever seen, which makes me assume that they made it a point to never look at any other ape masks, ever! Because unlike their view that this realistic ape mask could be used in Hollywood, it looks to me like it should be called the dead grandpa ape mask, and is for those who want to pretend to be a mentally challenged ape or those who would like to pretend to be doctors performing ape autopsies.

Hey kids, isn't it funny to pretend to have a disfiguring accident? What is truly disturbing is that one of the recommended uses is wearing it while driving a car! How can you see out of the disfiguring accident mask? Isn't it a bit prophetic to drive while wearing it? Little Jimmy was wearing his Horrible Accident Disguise, when his car sailed off the road, burst into flames, and landed in the McGillicuddy's backyard during their barbeque for local orphans. Hilarity ensued.

And what kid doesn't want a major political figure mask? And Kissinger is just the best, what with the accent, extra weight, and thick glasses. Plus it's made by European craftsmen and it's deluxe, so it's gotta be good! You know Mable, my Johnny wore the Kissinger mask on our trip to Washington DC. And the mask was so realistic, don't you know, that he held three press conferences and advised the president on the Vietnam War!

Johnson Smith claims this is the best Santa mask they've seen under $25, and that it is made by experts in West Germany. But what I really want to know is what the hell is going on with this Santa mask? Looks like old Santa's either totally plastered or has fallen face first onto the belt sander, which I suppose could have happened due to excessive alcohol consumption. I really suspect that Santa put his head too close to his plutonium powered sleigh to get this type of radiation burn.

And while this is not a mask, it certainly is a costume. The catalog says you can be "transformed into a hilarious clown in seconds." Yes, the hilarity just rolls right off this fella. Just looking at his face, I can hear the honking of his horn and the flip flap of his enormous shoes. Ow my side! I can't wait to take him to my next neighborhood meeting and watch the hijinks begin.

Hope you enjoyed Johnson Smith Co's 1975 mask offerings. Any nightmares induced by the viewing of said realistic rubber, crafted by Europeans, spooky masks means you've got some issues.

Halloween Excitement - Superbaby vs. the Pumpkin Gang!

2007-10-04T13:32:00.000-04:00

What could be better than a story about a toddler taking on a group of gun toting thugs?
How about a toddler named Clark Kent versus a group of machine gun toting thugs with pumpkins on their heads!

That's right folks, ramp up the excitement meter because there's nothing like a young child from another planet hanging out alone in an alley, who stumbles across some criminals with fruit on their skulls!

Click on the picture to see the amazing interaction.

Halloween Countdown - Three Investigators Are Deaf and Violent

2007-10-03T23:56:00.000-04:00

In honor of Halloween, I'm going to try to post every day. Let's hope this goes well and that the old gang used the RSS feed so that someone will enjoy the offering of 1970s Halloween goodness, or evilness if you prefer.

Here are two Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators books I found at the Goodwill this summer. The investigators appearances have gotten a slight upgrade from other covers I've posted in the past.

Johnny West

2007-01-22T18:45:00.000-05:00

I opened a box the other day and found this relic from my 1970s Johnny West figures. It's a poster around 10x20 and the only thing I have left.

Well, except for these photos, which for the life of me I can't understand why I felt compelled to photograph them.

No one shall mention the fact that Jay West is clad in a cape from a superhero doll that I had.

Also there shall be no mention of the two Tarzan dolls in the front, which are from he same line as the superhero who provided Jay with the cape. One Tarzan was my brothers. We could never tell which Tarzan was which - until my brother left his Tarzan sitting on top of a light in his room and Tarzan's leg melted against the bulb. He probably would have melted further if we hadn't smelled that horrible burning plastic odor.

The Comic Ad Lied!!

2006-11-24T14:48:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid I loved to look at the ads in the comic books. Everything looked really neat. I thought it would be so cool to own the items advertised and how much fun it would be to show it to my friends. However, things are not always as they seem, especially in the world of comic advertising circa 1970.

Everyone loves a magician's sleight of hand tricks, and what better way to be a magician than to own his hat? All you do is place the hat made of wire and top quality silk on your head and presto chango - you're a magician!. Once again, a disappointment for kids who thought that somehow this would help them to do magic tricks.
Holy moly!! It's the Magne Power Ring! And it comes with the Magne Actuator!! Oh yeah, I'm going to be magne-ing the hell out of anything I can get my hands on. You know, I'm not really sure what a Magne Power Ring does, or what Magne itself is. But judging from the ad, apparently it's something that can turn devices on and off....like you'd can do with an on/off switch.....and your finger.
During the Decade of Steve Austin-ism, all you needed to turn products into gold was to dub them bionic. But this ad says the hand is bi-onic. Is that the same as bionic? Does one hyphen make a difference? How big is it? How does it work? If I hit the bully from Miss Sawyers class during recess, will it go straight through his skull?

I am skeptical that $1.00 can buy a bi-onic hand when Oscar Goldman had to shell out six million dollars for Steve's bionics. It's not like the government is going to pay millions of dollars for a $1.00 hand..... oh. Um, well, if bi-onic hands were $1.00 back in the 70s, we all should have been rolling in bionic hands. And in case you were wondering, we weren't.

Romero, Romero...wherefore art thou Romero?

2006-11-10T14:32:00.000-05:00

I'm still in the spirit of Halloween. So here are a few more George Romero film posters for you to gaze upon.

Oh Dracula, Your Fangs Are Delicious

2006-11-06T18:07:00.000-05:00

My favorite illustrations from my Scholastic book fair horror books are the ones in Dracula. The purple colored drawings by Harry Borgman are amazing. Here are my favorites.

I thought they were incredible when I was a kid, and I still love them now. I've got nothing else to say. You just can't top them.

The Ghost Ship....soon will be making another run

2006-10-30T21:15:00.000-05:00

Here are illustrations from the Scholastic book, The Ghost Ship. These were drawn by Norman Nodel and I like them much better than the ones in Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. The red is a much better color than the yellowish brown of the Jeckyll/Hyde ilustrations. No other explanation is necessary. These are creepy and cool. My favorite is the skeleton.

Dr. Jeckyll, I Presume?

2006-10-29T11:40:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd post a few illustrations from the cool books I picked up in the early 1970s at a Scholastic book fair at my elementary school. Previously I posted the cover for Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. While the cover is amazing, the inside of this book is disappointing. Part of it is due to the drab brownish yellow color used in the drawings, but it is also because the illustrations in Dracula and The Ghost Ship are so fantastic, that these just don't compare.

These are the only two illustrations that I really liked in the whole book. The others just didn't do anything for me.

However, I was fascinated with Dr. Jeckyll's transformation into Mr. Hyde.
He goes from Christian Bale....

to Mr. Chugalug, Dean Martin....

to Rod Steiger.

I'll post some illustrations from the other two books, but these needed to go up first. If you see them after the other two, they're truly disappointing.

They're Coming to Get You, Barbara

2006-10-21T12:20:00.000-04:00

The living dead walk the earth...and we are there. This movie, while tame by todays standards, is still terrifying in it's premise.

Perhaps I have always had an overactive imagination, but if I were in a cemetery and a strange looking man was staggering in my general direction, I would make damn sure that I didn't come within 50 feet of him. After all, cemeteries are creepy and deserted. If the guy isn't a masher, he could be a corpse.

I found myself wanting to smack this woman in the head with a log to snap her out of her stupor. Then once she started babbling on and on about Johnny, I wanted to smack her in the head to shut her up.

Parlor of Terror

2006-10-19T19:38:00.000-04:00

This is the type of ad which seems very appealing, but as with all ads in comic books, you're sure to be disappointed when it arrives. Well, except for the fake vampire blood as any kid is going to get excited about putting fake blood on the face and neck.

Any kid reading the ad would read the last line about how all the spooky stuff is in the package, and would totally skim over the first sentence where it says what you're really getting is a manuscript. And would little kids know what a manuscript was? I think not, oh evil comic ad of yore!!

Want a scary costume? Be a Norwegian Troll

2006-10-19T19:21:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid my grandparents went to Norway and brought back this book of Norwegian Folk Tales. The stories are along the lines of the Grimm Brothers Fairy Tales, which means they can really creep you out.

I used to think of Norway as the land of Nordic blue eyed, blonde, outdoors-y, heathy youngsters with bright white teeth. Now when I think of Norway, I think of trolls. Trolls, trolls, trolls, and more trolls. They're everywhere and the Folk Tales are filled with horrible stories of youngsters being terrorized and eaten by trolls. Norway has to keep it quiet or else their tourist market would suffer.

The scariest story is about a kid named Butterball who is the target of a hungry troll. If you were a troll, wouldn't you pick the kid named Butterball? Sounds like good eatin'. But I digress... the thing that always freaked me out about this particular story was that the troll carried it's own head under it's arm. And the little things that look like sticks coming up out of the neck just make me queasy. Even now looking at them makes me feel slightly ill.

Hey Kids, Give Us Your Allowance for Monster Products

2006-10-15T10:43:00.000-04:00

These masks don't look like the goriest masks I've ever seen, but they are only $2.98 each. Unfortunately in 1973 my allowance was about 25 cents, and I spent it immediately. So goodbye any chance of owning a monster mask. The one thing I'm curious about is what type of mask you got if you ordered the one called "The Goon."

Monster Studios is a fantastic name for a business. You just feel like they're so dedicated to the monster concept that they must have tons of cool monster items. I find their monster picture more disturbing than the monster masks shown above. But I am enthralled by the notion of the monster himself sending me my free monster gift. Then again, I'm a little nervous that the monster would then have my address and could show up in the middle of the night by the side of my bed.

Vampire blood....what kid didn't want their own tube of vampire blood? Well I'm guessing the only one would be that kid who always threatened to take his ball home if you didn't let him be the pitcher. Yes, every child wants a tube of succulent bloody goodness to play tricks on their parents and friends, as well as doctor up fake wounds or bloody bandages. Yet wouldn't the ad be more effective to show blood dripping vampire fangs rather than the mystery scribble with the red dot?

It's.... The Scarecrow!!

2006-10-10T21:45:00.000-04:00

Another unfortunate gap in my posting. But how could I resist October, the month of ghost, creepy things, and candy? When I was a kid, I though the Wonderful World of Disney's The Scarecrow movie was spooky. The Vicar was nice, but those dark nights when the scarecrow and his henchmen rode around the countryside made me shiver. Could you make a kids movie these days based on a group of guys in olden times riding on missions through the dark night, shooting and fighting and wearing creepy masks?...and these are the good guys.

Even though some of it scared me, I did like the fact that the Scarecrow was out for justice. As this photo says about the man of two faces, "The Vicar... kind and benevolent, loved by all. The Scarecrow...a demon ghost, feared by oppressors."

There was even a Scarecrow comic based on the movie. These are all scanned from Scarecrow, no.3 from 1965. I think I saw this in the early 70s, at which time I thought it was a new movie. I do find it odd that the back cover of the comic is this illustration which is labeled as a pinup. The pinup is interesting, but it seems an odd thing for any kid to put on their wall.

While the scarecrow looked kind of scary, he was nothing compared to his henchmen. Holy moley! What the hell?! No wonder I was freaked out by this movie. The Scarecrow's henchmen are horrifying! Look at those masks. Kids must have been hiding under their covers for weeks after seeing this movie.

Good god! Hellspite looks more like a corpse than a scarecrow, and Curlew.... Damn it, Curlew has the head of a bird. How disgusting is that? Does he strap a real bird face around his skull? Is it an owl? What is it? It's uber-creepy. Oh I am going to have nightmares again after this.

Hey Kids, Here's a Cool Way to Be Keep From Getting Skin Cancer

2006-09-03T15:14:00.000-04:00

I absolutely loved Saturday morning tv shows, especially live action ones. The one problem was that my parents were the type who actually wanted us to enjoy the outdoors, play with our friends, get some exercise, and use our imaginations. The rules were my brother and I could each pick one Saturday morning show to watch, and that was it. Yup, my parents believed that we should use our brains rather than sit in a stupor and absorb pop culture.
Check out this CBS Saturday morning schedule! How great is this?! Bugs Bunny was usually the show I picked to watch - good cartooning, great voices, and although I didn't know it at the time, a great introduction to classical music.

I somehow managed to watch various episodes of most of the other shows too. Not sure if my parents were out or if they were doing yardwork, but I know I saw Shazam, Fat Albert, and Clue Club multiple times. Clue Club was basically Scooby Doo - scared dogs, good looking guy, good looking girl, dorky guy, and smart girl. Of course Scooby Doo was much better. I can't even remember the mysteries the Clue Club solved.

It's a Bonanza of Unreadable Tv Related Paperbacks!

2006-08-27T16:24:00.000-04:00

While I love teen idol and tv show books, they're pretty unreadable. In fact, I've never made it through any of these. I'm not sure if everyone is familiar with the show, UFO. It was made in Britain in the late 60s and they pronounce "u-fo." A live action show from the producer of the Thunderbirds - how can you not love it? S.H.A.D.O., the secret organization to combat the aliens, is headquartered under a movie studio and everyone's clothing is silvery and futuristic, such as it was in the late '60s.
I'm a sucker for trippy backgrounds, like the design on the cover of this book. And if the book has a photo of the characters in the show, I'm much more likely to become enamored with it. I'm glad the Mod Squad know of a groovy way to die because I was afriad death would be horrible.
The real Mission Impossible, not the recent Hollywood remakes with Tom Cruise (insert your own Scientology/Suri/alien joke here). While I was too young to watch this in the 60s, I enjoyed seeing episodes in reruns. Who could forget the famous words, "...this tape will self distruct in five seconds..."
It's almost inconceivable that the Leif in the recent mugshot could actually have been this cute, little golden haired teen idol. I'd make a joke here, but when you think about it, it's just so pathetic and sad.
Oh cone of silence, I love you so. I wish I had one at work, at home, at the beach, in the car, at a club.......and if only it would work correctly. Mel Brooks, Buck Henry, Don Adams, and Barbara Feldon - I salute you!

William Shatner Thinks He Can Kick Your Ass

2006-08-16T19:24:00.000-04:00

I was a huge William Shatner fan in the 1970s. To clarify that, I was thin but fanatical about the man. Here is a very odd magazine that focuses on celebrities and the art of self defense. The fact that this even exists is puzzling. Did they really think it was profitable to print an entire magazine about this subject? Apparently, which is why we see The Shat karate-ing his way through his opponent, while shrieking "hiya" and praying the glue holding on this toupe holds until the end of this beating.

I'm genuinely perplexed about this cover, especially since it was published in 1974 during Shatners lean years. This was when he was doing B movies and had no money. So why did they put him on the cover? Another inexplicable link in the gold chain that is William Shatner.

Jigsaw Don't

2006-08-16T19:13:00.000-04:00

Anyone remember Jigsaw and their huge hit, Sky High? I have to admit I still have a soft spot for that song, even though it's an amazingly bland, agonizingly lightweight 70s song.

I got this album at a flea market in the 90s. It's the only time I've ever seen it. You'd think with Sky High being such a big hit, that there'd be thousands of these at thrift stores. Maybe it's only the Northeast that is void of Jigsaw. Perhaps in California, they're ripe with them.

More Vintage Defacement Art

2006-08-09T14:00:00.000-04:00

Here is the ad that prompted me to join the Brady Bunch Fan Club. I'm not sure how I convinced my parents to pay for this, but my brother and I had to share the fan club items. Consequently all I have left are the booklet and a hideously defaced picture of Jan.

My brother and I laid everything out on the table and took turns picking what we'd like, including the 5x7 portraits of all the kids. I know my first pick was Peter because he was my favorite. I also know I got stuck with Jans photo because there is no way in hell I would have ever picked that neurotic little basketcase.
Due to the size of the ad, you may not be able to see the defacement, so let's make it perfectlyl clear, shall we? I'm sure you already know that Jan is doomed, but was anyone else caught in the line of fire? Could any other little Brady have been so offensive that I felt compelled to deface them? Let's take a look -
Poor little Cindy. If only she hadn't worn what appears to be a sailors outfit, maybe she could have escaped. Then again, she does need to be punished for that horrible Shirley Temple imitation, and would have been far more annoying if not for Jan's total dominance in that category.

Disturbing Ad Makes Record Sales Plummet

2006-08-09T12:19:00.000-04:00

Who thought this was a good idea for an ad? How is this going to sell more records? It's just plain creepy. As if the idea of a Ted Nugent doll isn't disturbing enough, they had to go and give it two hippy-esque crazy-Ted noggins. I don't know about you, but one thing I never wanted to see is a creepy two headed Ted Nugent doll. Let the nightmares commence...