Adventure?

BBQ - Petra's Visit!

2008-01-23T09:35:00.000+10:00

So last weekend the Waring residence was happy to host a second visitor from Paris... Petra! We held an awesome BBQ which involve many tasty gourmet sausages... although I'm not sure that Petra actually ate a sausage :-P, trifle a la Nana Hurley and many games of UNO.

Mmmmmm is there anything better than sausage? Anyways after a lovely few days in Brisbane, the Sunshine and Gold Coast Petra and I said goodbye until who knows when! It could be a few months... it could be a decade.

Friday Funnies - Torn

2007-12-28T20:43:00.001+10:00

Hehehehe... this dude rocks.

Ghetto Eats

2007-12-24T09:38:00.000+10:00

For anyone born and raised in Brisbane, the name 'Inala' brings to mind a certain kind of image. It's akin to blonde jokes, ribbing Tasmania... or for the Frenchies serving it to their poor cousin Belgium. In another word, it is known as the ass of Brisbane. So when Anna and myself arrived at the Civic Centre last night at seventeen hundred hours, we weren't surprised to pass the community of housing, centrelink, and hop out of the car realising that we were the only white people in the general vicinity. Quite literally I could have been in another country at that very moment, with old Chinese men crowding the benches in the center to play checkers. However one of the advantages of this area is the cheap food and I must admit that I did feast on very delicious Pho ("fer") and of course Vietnamese spring rolls and prawn infused sugar cane at this place:

Tri being the gracious host of course would not let us leave without seeing the sights of his locale which included the parole office conveniently located right behind the restaurant itself. After doing your banking you can just check in with your officer and be on your merry way. Very handy!

If you are bored right now click here. This is the first image that comes up when you type in 'Inala' to the Google image search. Fitting right? Thanks for a great dinner Tri!

Kapooka

2007-12-23T10:35:00.000+10:00

So yesterday I arrived home from a trip to Wagga Wagga (of so-good-they-named-it-twice fame) to see my brothers 'march out parade' after 80 days of training at Kapooka. Although it is the largest inland city in NSW apparently and has all this history about the steam boats and all that kind of cobb-n-co stuff that my mum raves about for reasons unbeknownst to me... I must say that I didn't find the place exactly captivating. Clean? Yes. Convenient? Yes. But the charm of this country town seems to have been chipped away somehow by all the Gloria Jeans and other big-city franchises. Meh... I can go to the local shopping mall for that! Anyway... they parade itself was pretty cool actually... it's like a line dance for really serious guys. And some girls... you could say a smattering (like 3 out of about 100!) Check out the pics!

Apart from that Mum and I visited a few galleries and gum trees and of course the Miss Wagga Wagga exhibition... I'm not sure if you were meant to actually put on the costumes but I got a kick out of it anyway!

Anyway just before we had to return the hire car and get our flight back home we made a trip out to Wagga Wagga Winery... which was actually really pretty! If you have nothing to do in Wagga for a few hours I highly recommend doing some of the wineries in the area. Very picturesque!

Friday Funnies - Fainting Goats

2007-12-15T09:16:00.001+10:00

It's been a while since I had a worthwhile Friday funny... but I definately think this one makes the cut! Of course never one to plagiarize thanks goes to Cam for showing me this! XOXO Jess.

South Indian Food

2007-12-02T14:22:00.000+10:00

Mmmmm... Last night Gigi, Anna and myself went to the only South Indian Restaurant in the whole of Brisbane - Southern Spice at Mt. Gravatt. It was to satisfy the cravings that Gigi and myself were having for the best south indian dosas in the whole of Paris near Barbes. Now while I can't say it exactly matched our experience, however it is the only south indian restaurant in the whole of Brisbane and beggars can't be choosers. I won't say that I wasn't disappointed to hear that there is NOWHERE in the whole of Brisbane that sells chaats or paan! Dammit! Anyways the dosa was pretty fantastic as per usual and the masala mix inside was actually quite good. Missing tomato chutney though.... *drools*

November Quote Board

2007-11-30T14:40:00.000+10:00

Mum and Dad had been on a day trip to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary and came back all buzzed about the animals and wildlife and $11 million mansions at Fig Tree Pocket. Anyway part of the debrief went like this:
Dad: 'Oh and they had Sheep Dog trials as well!'
Me: 'Man those dogs
seem to be constantly on trial don't you reckon?'
Dad: 'Yeah, and they are
always guilty.'
Me: 'My butt is really hurting... do you reckon it's from eating too much salt?'
Dad: 'Yeah you have salt-arse.'

'I got some drugs to make me docile and then my hands started going floppy and numb.' ~ Lauren describing her delusion drug induced study period.

'You're not a tart, you're just proactive.' ~ Anna.

'At this point I should make something clear: I am not a smoker. No, when it comes to the inhalation of addictive and toxic substances, snuff is my poising - and I take it in short, floury bursts, out of an antique snuff box, sitting in my library, wrapped in a dressing gown, listening to Chopin and drinking gin, while a basset hound called Rupert frolics in the background and makes merry with the drapery.' ~ Aaron Timms in the SMH... random but a very funny article indeed.

'I've waited hours for this... I've made myself feel sick...' ~ The Cure, Close to Me.

'I have unresolved desirability issues surrounding curly haired men.' ~ Anna

'So I have a bachelors degree but currently I work as a Photocopier. It's really quite challenging actually, I didn't take the intro course in first year uni.' ~ Anna

'Work-hot: A person who may or may not be hot but is the most attractive person at work so you lust after him/her.' ~ Cosmo

'My work-hot is leaving!' ~ Anna

Tyson: 'So how long have you been sleeping naked?'
Kath: 'Since Boarding School.'
Tyson: 'Even in
winter?' ~ All my Friends are Leaving Brisbane.

'I'm not a bad person but fuck I'm loose.' ~ Facebook group.

'See on the map it will say "waterhole"... but really it should say "hole" and in brackets "may or may not be water".' ~ Jon Muir, Australian Explorer on Enough Rope.

'Are you using pivot tables... man I love those things! So easy to adjust. I still remember my first time... with a pivot table.' ~ John

'What's a gumboot, I thought it was something Haribo made.' ~ Micheal (p.s. I think you know know that I gumboot is a wellington, not a lolly!)

'There is nothing inherently wrong or bad about the collateralized debt obligation or any of it's financial relatives.' ~ Investopedia.

'You're all refined and shit.' ~ Cam

This next one happened just the other day when I was working at Roger David... quietly minding my own business and scanning away...

Store Manager: 'I was so glad not to be working on Wednesday last week,
the PM was here at Garden City for something and I would have punched him if I had seen him I reckon...'
My Superviser: 'Oh, John Howard... why is that?'
Store Manager: 'Oh you know... he just has those eyebrows... and you know... he is so small and stuff and you know... he is just gross...'
My manager: 'Oh yeah...'
Store Manager: 'Yeah that is the problem with Australia you know... people just aren't educated.'

Lastly... this one didn't actually happen in November... but many many years ago... I was shopping down at Chermside and the following exchange happened in Lorna Jane...

Shop Assistant: 'Wow, they are really cool earrings! So this one says
'Holly'.... what does the other one say? Oh.... 'wood'! So is that your
name? Holly Wood? That is sooooo cool!'
(me:
yeah Holly Wood is totally my name dipshit!)

Bwahahahahha... awesome month! XOXO

My Favourite Boy

2007-11-30T13:27:00.000+10:00

My favourite boy is hurt! After a romantic walk in the park yesterday, a body mud pack and sponge bath, my favourite boy got a cut on his foot and began pissing out blood all over the house. As the dutiful older sister I of course cleaned it all up and gave him some loving to make sure he was ok. Nevertheless Dukey's mum had to be informed and after several text messages it was decided that a visit to the doctors was not necessary as the bleeding had abated. However as I arrived back this morning, my favourite man was waiting for me very excited... and his paw was all wrapped up in a glad bag! Oh well at least he is not a buckethead. Awww... poor Dukey... I hope his paw gets better soon so we can go for walks again.

It's for real!!!

2007-11-27T11:37:00.000+10:00

I have confirmation... I am graduating next week!!!

Dear Miss Waring,
I have much pleasure in advising you have successfully completed all requirements for your Bachelor of Business Management and Bachelor of Economics. This award will be conferred at the graduation ceremony to be held at UQ Centre, St Lucia Campus at 02:00 PM on 05 December 2007. The award will be conferred in the name of Jessica Waring.

Soooooooooooooo excited right now XOXOXOXOXOOXOX

Aicha - Khaled

2007-11-20T12:15:00.001+10:00

Wow... this is THE most beautiful song... (english translation here)

Comme si j'n'existais pas
Elle est passee a cote de moi
Sans un regard, Reine de Sabbat
J'ai dit, Aicha, prends, tout est pour toi

Voici, les perles, les bijoux
Aussi, l'or autour de ton cou
Les fruits, bien murs au gout de miel
Ma vie, Aicha si tu m'aimes

J'irai a ton souffle nous mene
Dans les pays d'ivoire et d'ebene
J'effacerai tes larmes, tes peines
Rien n'est trop beau pour une si belle

Oooh ! Aicha, Aicha, ecoute-moi
Aicha, Aicha, t'en vas pas
Aicha, Aicha, regarde-moi
Aicha, Aicha, reponds-moi

Je dirai les mots des poemes
Je jouerai les musiques du ciel
Je prendrai les rayons du soleil
Pour eclairer tes yeux de reine

Oooh ! Aicha, Aicha, ecoute-moi
Aicha, Aicha, t'en vas pas

Elle a dit, garde tes tresors
Moi, je vaux mieux que tout ca
Des barreaux forts, des barreaux meme en or
Je veux les memes droits que toi
Et du respect pour chaque jour
Moi je ne veux que de l'amour

Aaaah !
Comme si j'n'existais pas
Elle est passee a cote de moi
Sans un regard, Reine de Sabbat
J'ai dit, Aicha, prends, tout est pour toi

Nbrik Aicha ou nmout allik [Je te veux Aicha et je meurs pour toi]
'Hhadi kisat hayaty oua habbi [Ceci est l'histoire de ma vie et de mon
amour]
Inti omri oua inti hayati [Tu es ma respiration et ma vie]
Tmanit niich maake ghir inti [J'ai envie de vivre avec toi et rien
qu'avec toi]

Lalala....lalala...

Sleepless in the Suburbs

2007-11-15T01:51:00.000+10:00

Tonight I put myself to bed around 11... and lay there... and lay there... and lay there for the sweet surrender of sleep to no avail. Now as someone who rarely has a sleepless night this is a rather bizarre occurrence! What was it... that extra caffeine? The pasta I ate for dinner (I rarely eat pasta)? Or just general edginess and pent up energy that can't get out... I don't know!! So now I'm just sitting here in my jammies...

This is how sleepless my night was... I ate a whole packet of biscuits! And they were my mum's special gluten free ones... oh noes! She is going to KILL me tomorrow!

So now I'm entertaining myself... actually quite successfully... laughing my head off at the funniest sexploits I have heard in aaaages... listening to the Jackson 5... and the Will.I.Am album which I am convinced I will have to purchase tomorrow/today... all the while wishing I was off in slumber land like this:

Ahhhhh... soon... puh-leasssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeee!

Cinderella in Brissy

2007-11-13T12:21:00.000+10:00

So Friday night was bound to be an epic night of previously un-thought of proportions... in fact so epic that I came home without a shoe. Now the hazy memories of anytime after 1am are not clear enough for me to remember exactly the point at which I was without a shoe. I wondered for hours about the fate of my shoe...

Perhaps it is in a gutter somewhere... one of those shoes that you see and wonder to yourself how in the world did that IDIOT lose their shoe?!? Wouldn't you notice if you only had one shoe on?

Perhaps it is in a rubbish bin at the back of the Paddo hotel after the cleaner found it somewhere strange like the toilet, or the dance floor or underneath those hell fun saddles they have there.

Perhaps someone has claimed my shoe and put it on their dresser as some kind of perverse trophy...

So as a result of my lost shoe I went shopping on Sunday and now I have newer, higher and hotter shoes that go faster (they are Ferrari's).

R.I.P. Shoe.

Friday Funnies - I still call St. Lucia home

2007-11-11T20:58:00.001+10:00

Although it's Sunday now... I thought this was most fitting to post as a funny as I finished uni on Friday night. 'I've been to unis of lesser reknown...'

One more to go...

2007-11-08T11:53:00.000+10:00

I have one.exam.left.ever. EVER! Well probably not ever, but definately the last of my undergraduate degree. Thank god. I can't believe that I have been at uni since 2001... seriously... seriously? It's taken me a long time to get to here and believe it or not there were moments I thought I would never graduate. But now there is just one to go and a bright light shining just around the corner (as in the bright shining light of bubbles of champagne).

Back in 2005, when I first took off to Paris, I had a thought in my mind that I wouldn't come back to Brisbane for a while, that Paris would be the start of my international, jet-setting career and I would be all set up after going there. But I'm actually really glad that I made the commitment to come home and face my life here in Brisbane and my family and see out the year to graduate. I'm super happy in fact. My lifestyle here has improved a lot and it feels like things are really coming together, and I'm starting to look at what I want to achieve in the next 5 years before I hit 30.

So as I relish these last few moments of study I'm really looking forward to what the next few years brings me, in the REAL world. XOXO

Cairns

2007-11-05T18:37:00.001+10:00

PICT5468
Originally uploaded by Jess2005

Last week I went on a little work trip to Cairns. Now work trips were pretty much the norm last year... but hey I was working full time then. I've never come across a casual job where you actually get to travel! I thought it was pretty cool... particularly as the only thing I had to do was count stuff as always. And we got to have some awesome buffets as well... I gorged myself on oysters and red wine! So this pic was taken at the motel we were staying at, which was a pretty ok one... with a decent pools and the famous (apparently) Cairns mudflats just opposite. Cairns was really really pretty... a little city tucked between a few mountains with lots of palm trees and easygoing locals.

I did manage to go out one night, with Meredith, my 42yo colleague. I think I should say a little about this particular colleague actually as I find her a really interesting and inspiring kind of lady. When you meet Meredith, like a lot of the other Lotons staff, she definately doesn't have the appearance of a well polished soccer mum. I would have put her at about 38, but she is a very young 42. Very young! So Meredith's story goes something like this.... From a very young age she wanted to be independant and more out of home. Her older sister had been enrolled in Girls Grammer from an early age, so she was forced to follow in her footsteps, although left GG at about 16. I really didn't pick her as a private school girl at all! So after leaving school she pretty much left town and went out to Mackay and other cities in Qld to work. Then she stumbled across the true love of her life, working on trawler boats. So for years she would go out on the boats, travelling around the whole of Australia working as a cook and deckhand. She also took a whole bunch of overseas trips, most notably to Borneo where she sailed by boat from Brunei to Sabah. Meredith also has 2 kids, one 14yo and one 11yo, to the same father although they were never married. They ended up separating a few years ago, but she has a boyfriend now and her ex helps out with looking after the kids a lot.

Now maybe this whole story doesn't really sound that special, but she just has a really fresh attitude to life, pretty much a take it as it comes, don't worry something will come along that is right for you and it always does. It makes me feel quite peaceful hearing these things from someone so much older... but in many ways so much younger!

I hope that I can retain the same kind of attitude towards life as I get older. Anyways, her is to Meredith, possibly one of my coolest colleages.

Friday Funnies

2007-11-03T18:06:00.001+10:00

Yaa.... so one day late... but it's worth it! My favourite of this lot is 'Cheering works'. I hope it cheers YOU up! XOXO

October Quote Board

2007-11-02T15:50:00.000+10:00

'He carries a backpack? That's a bit weird. But hey... we can introduce him to satchels!' ~ Jason Perry... giving me advice on 'the uni guy'... although I doubt Jason will even remember saying this!

'How do you itch your inner, upper thigh in public?' ~ My private thought during a Monday BCA lecture.

'I'm not bad... I'm just drawn that way.' ~ Jessica Rabbit, my namesake!

'Syncronise... push the button... don't push the button...' ~ Dan... accompanied by some hilarious facial expressions.

'You know that guy who could pick up any girl? I'm him... on crack.' ~ Aaron Eckhart as Nick Naylor in Thank you for Smoking.

Now this one needs a preface... Lauren, Cindy, Aleks and myself have just arrived at the Pig and Whistle to watch the Wallabies Vs England match. While ordering at the bar I hear the following conversation between Aleks and some dude trying to chat her up...
Random Drunk Guy - 'So who are you going for tonight?'
Aleks - 'The Socceroos.'
Me - (much internal laughter.... but the guy didn't give up there!)
Random Drunk Guy - 'Oh so you follow premier league, I heard ManU cleaned up the other night.'
Aleks - 'Errr....'

Now later in the evening Aleks also comes out with this...
Aleks - 'What does this SMS say? I can barely read!'
Me - 'It says... 'we are going to the mustang bar'...'

'Dr Kev, Dr Kev... my name is Dr Kev and I want world peace!' ~ Dad.

'I would have paid money to see them wake up in that single bed together.' ~ Steve.

'The Godfather' ~ The nickname my actual godfather (Jimmy Martin) earned himself for staying at my brother's farewell, drunk off his tits, until about 3 in the morning.

'Yeah... we had my 21st party here. But I didn't know it was a surprise party so I got drunk in the city and passed out under a tree on the way home.' ~ Jimmy Martin, now aged 56, recounting his youthful memories.

'I don't want my fanny smelling like tea-tree!' ~ Anon.

'It's like pushing a turd up a hill...' ~ Another corker from my econ2200 tutor.

'They'll do all the fingerpainting and waving saying blah blah blah we are so good...' ~ my tutor again, about hedge funds or something interesting like that.

'Morning Dump.' ~ Carmen!

Me - 'They are at Cesar's.'
Benoit - 'Who is Cesar?'
Me and Pete - 'Bwaahahahahhaha!'

'You know those emo people? Why do they call them emo's? It's it cause they are emotional? Or is it cause they wear those skinny jeans that make them look like those Australian birds (emus)?' ~ Onne.

'Double pluggers... cause they last longer... I had so many arguments overseas cause you can only get single pluggers and they just weren't as durable.' ~ Trenton on the features of double plugged thongs.

'You deserve better than bluetak Jessie!' ~ Helen... awwww.... thanks babe!

'Sing the song Jessie... SING THE SONG!!!' ~ Drunken Dimmy.

'Without further ado...' ~ Dimmy encore!

'No alcove!' ~ Bretto... hahahhaa.... no alcove!

T'was a good month October... many funny moments... November is going to be awesome as well...!! Can't wait until these exams are OVER!!

Artistic Shot...

2007-10-24T09:06:00.001+10:00

I took this shot the other day and I really like it. It's about as natural as I get without looking stroppy.... normally all photos that I take of myself without smiling or doing some stupid face look really bad.... but I like this one. Look into my eyes.... Look deep into my eyes!!!

New Gym?

2007-10-22T11:53:00.000+10:00

So... fit chicks (or fat chicks) finished up last week at UQ... with the most epicly awesome boxing circuit ever.... I surprise myself how much I like to get the gloves on and get sweaty. Which means that I am without an activity to do! I was contemplating this conundrum all week last week... should I go back to the gym... should i do swimming lessons.... what is more cost effective... and I think I have decided to go back to the gym.

Just a little sidetrack here... since I have been without gym and fitness all week last week... I decided to do some walking. My favourite man (Dukey!) thought this was a GREAT idea... so off we went on fri/sat and sun for walkies. Now Sunday was a big one. I decided to walk all the way to Virginia train station through the park... which is a good 7-8kms. Now it was Sunday arvo at about 3pm and all the dog walkers generally only come out at about 5. And it was completely dead in the park... so I decided to let him off for a bit... seems that I let him off a little too long... cause 15 mins later some complete derros on bikes with their mean vicious looking pit bulls come through the park... and duke takes off from about 200ms away to 'greet' them. Now to say that these low lives were pissed off that Dukey was off the leash is an understatement... the 'tough guy' proceeded to swing a huge kick at Dukey which thankfully didn't hit him anywhere too hard... and then abused me for about 5 minutes going off about how he was going to punch me in the head along with a complete tirade of profanities. Anyways I simply said 'good on ya mate, have a nice day' and walked off, making sure that I gave my doggy a bit of loving on the way to show this lowlife how remorseless I was for having my dog off the leash.

I've come across many a person in that park with their dog off, and not one has coped any verbal abuse from me. I get it... you want to walk your dog and I really don't mind if you have it off leash... as long as it doesn't attack ME. Anyways...

So I'm joining a gym. Goodlife gym at Chermside to be more precise. Woot woot, bring on the bikes!

Friday Funnies

2007-10-19T10:18:00.001+10:00

Hahaha...'Am I invisible? I've never come across this before...' I love the confusion!

Friday Funnies

2007-10-14T13:51:00.001+10:00

Well... I meant to post it on Friday so this is a backdated Friday funny. For the ultimate procrastinator. But I'm still laughing about Skeeter 2 days later so you should check it out! I love it when he's trying to eat. Enjoy XO!

Stockbroker.... no I mean STOCKTAKER...

2007-10-12T15:07:00.001+10:00

stocktaker
Originally uploaded by Jess2005

My job is some funny shit I must say. I stocktake. Yep I'm a stocktaker. I look just like that guy. In fact our scanners are EXACTLY like his one. So earlier this week work rang and said we have an extra shift for you on Friday. I said 'Sure thing!' cause I'm broke... so they booked me in for something this morning.

Now to date I have stocktaked a lot of different things. 7-11, IGA Supermarkets, Borders, Priceline, Supre, Cotton On, NewsLink, Souvenir Shops, RM Williams, The Reject Shop - and as you can see these things all have something in common. You can find them in a mall (except for 7-11). So today I was mildly surprised when I was asked to stocktake cars. Yep that's right, entire cars at a Ford dealership.

It seems that Ford have the last laugh this time though... as my arms are quite sunburned and I definately worked out there in the cars and the heat today. Go Lotons!

The Salmon Dance

2007-10-12T14:57:00.001+10:00

The latest from the Chemical Brother makes me laugh...

'Today we are going to teach you some fun facts about Salmon'... I can't believe that these guys were actually able to put this line in a song!

'Put your hands to the side as silly as it seems, and shake your body like a salmon floatin' up-stream!'

LOVE IT!! XO

September Quote Board

2007-10-11T17:16:00.001+10:00

A little late... but September was FULL of corkers. Here are the ones that I honoured with diary entries:

'Let's keep it novel guys' ~ The gay Fit Chicks instructor encouraging 10 girls to run in freezing cold sand.

'We were all inter-reacting and stuff.' ~ Evelyn from work... I think she meant interacting... and stuff... and things...

'Habib or Adfid or Ahmid... or whatever his name is?' ~ Debbie from Caboolture trying to remember the name of the new guy at work.

'River-bat-fire' ~ Me... some weird daydream I had...

'Dangerwank... MUM!!!' ~ The awesome Irish peeps from Dimmy's partay.

'Oh my god is that FABIO?' ~ Nicky's Dave talking about Meredith HOT date. Bwahahahaa.

'We would like the sun the moon and the stars. But if we just get the moon and the stars we can still have a pretty good night.' ~ AFR quoted Diplomat talking about the stalled WTO negotiations.

'The topic of immigration is certainly not a BBQ stopper...' ~ My Australian Economic History Lecturer.

'Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent.' ~ God, aka John Maynard Keynes.

'Jesus Failed. No... Jesus didn't fail us, we failed Jesus.' ~ Caitlin talking about the portuguese guy, actually called Jesus, who unfortunatly didn't make the AIESEC cut.

'There may or may not be Mariah Carey in the CD player.' ~ Me... right before the most awesome high pitched rendition of 'Fantasy' ever. EVA!!

'But mummy I love you...' ~ cute little boy talking to his mummy at uni. Awwwwww.

Interveiwee: 'They are about as rare as hen's teeth.'
TV Reporter: 'Yeah, like rare hen's teeth...' (I think he may have forgotton that hen don't have teeth)

'So is Cambodia the capital of Vietnam?' ~ Lydia from Malaysia making small talk with Tammy from Vietnam on the way down Mt. Warning.

'I'm scared of that prawn' ~ Me. It WAS a VERY SCARY prawn.

'You so don't remember my name, you just called me Jake.' ~ Jordan, to me.

'Come and take a look around and see what's really YOU.' ~ Coffs Harbour camping site guy... yeah like one piece of grass is different to the next!

'Bacon Bacon Bacon' ~ most irritatingly funny McDonald's ad ever.

Twas a good month September! Oh and Happy Birthday to my Dad (11th) and Nana Dot (13th). Virgo's are pretty darn cool.

Fabio, The Most Beautiful Man in the Universe.

2007-10-11T12:35:00.001+10:00

Well many like the Hoff... but I personally prefer Fabio, the most beautiful man in the universe. 'I can't believe it's not bud-der!