Bitty's Back Porch

There's a Word for That

2008-07-15T10:58:00.003-04:00

And it's mondegreen.

When we hear Jimi Hendrix sing, "'scuse me while I kiss this guy," or John Fogarty croon, "there's a bathroom on the right," we're creating a mondegreen: "a word or phrase that results from a mishearing of something said or sung."

Mondegreen was first coined by author Sylvia Wright in 1954 in Atlantic magazine, when she confessed to a childhood misinterpretation of the Scottish ballad 'The Bonny Earl of Moray.' When she first heard the lyric "they had slain the Earl of Moray and had laid him on the green," she felt terribly sorry for the "poor Lady Mondegreen."

Mondegreen made MW's new words for 2008, and to celebrate, it's collecting mondegreens through July 25, after which time it will publish the best of them.

The only one that occurs to me offhand is the one that puzzled me for years (until the internet cleared it up), part of the lyrics to Bruce Springsteen's "Blinded by the Light" as performed by Manfred Mann's Earth Band, which sounded to me like "wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night."

The real lyrics, apparently, are "cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night."

I'm not sure that I'm any less puzzled by the real lyrics.

What's your mondegreen?

The Girl of My Dreams

2008-07-13T12:18:00.004-04:00

After more than a decade and a half, it has finally happened: I've found the girl of my dreams.

That is, Tall Son has finally brought home the woman I've been waiting for him to bring home.

She's phenomenal. I liked her instantly. I mean, instantly.

Her kids are phenomenal, especially her clever, smart, articulate 11-year-old son.

But every silver lining apparently must have a dark cloud wrapped around it: in this case, an ex-husband who makes the husband in Sleeping With the Enemy look somewhat normal.

But she has a restraining order (for what that's worth), he lives in another state, and there is past evidence that he's actually a coward when any third parties are around.

My mood: worried, but hopeful.

Just Like Crack

2008-07-12T08:47:00.003-04:00

...looking stuff up in the public records.

In comments just below, I discussed how Tall Son and I were checking out local criminal records last night.

Then, because one of my neighbors told me yesterday that he was probably going to sell, I decided to look at his property records.

Which led me to looking at the records of all my neighbors on this 7-house cul-de-sac. Upon reflection, I don't think anything I learned surprised me.

You know about me and Neighbor Guy. On the corner next to Neighbor Guy, the couple, who have been there since 1997, have only their original mortgage and a second, signed the same day, to the county, for $5000 with 0% interest. Must have been one of those incentive programs we hear about now and again.

On the other corner, Lawnmower Man and his wife have refinanced several times, but always modest amounts. I think they did it the first time to finance their addition, but after that, it's always been for about $50,000. I think they've just been shopping interest rates. Who knows?

Then, oh dear, the neighbor who says he'd like to move. He and his wife also have refinanced a number of times, each time pulling out more equity so that their most recent mortgage is nearly $120,000. In this modest neighborhood and knowing the condition of their house, I suspect that's over its value. And I suspect they used a subprime lender.

Next to them are the people directly across from me, and their story is also quite similar. They've only been with us for five years and have refi'd three times. Again, I suspect that if they're not over value, they're kissing it with that last mortgage. This time I'm almost certain their loan is subprime: it's with Countrywide.

Finally, my neighbors to the left quietly paid off their only mortgage two years ago, right on time at 30 years old. And that's it for them.

***************

While I was busy on the court records, I found a link to the property appraiser's office. Like the court's, the appraiser's website is far more fun and useful than it used to be. I can literally check out the whole neighborhood by clicking on each lot on a plat map. The map is color-coded: if the house sold in 08, 07, or 06, the lot has a corresponding color. If the last sale was older, it's white. Very few houses have turned over in my neighborhood in the past three years. I suspect that's because the neighborhood is modest, but also reasonably well-kept. In the old market, who could afford to move out? And what would have been the incentive?

****************

In the last election cycle, "we" the voters approved a real-estate tax "relief" measure. The good news is that according to the appraiser's office, my taxable value is now only $34,000.00. Except, because the county is having desperate trouble making ends meet, that's really also the bad news. But what do I know? I'm a tax-and-spend liberal.

Fun With the Public Records (Shame on Me!)

2008-07-11T14:40:00.003-04:00

So that I could prepare the satisfaction of mortgage for Mrs. P's signature (I used to be a real estate secretary, so this is something I can do with confidence), I puttered around on the Clerk of the Court's site, looking at all of my real estate docs, making sure I had all the right numbers and dates, as well as looking to be sure all the other, old stuff has been satisfactorily recorded.

I was about to log out when I got curious about my ex. The kids have told me that he and his wife own several rental properties, in addition to their half-mil* (value before the bust, anyway) personal residence. A search says this is true, but only two additional properties, and no foreclosures, despite the fact that both of them make their living by selling real estate. Good on them.

Then I looked up Neighbor Guy and his wife. It's always been clear that they're on firmer footing than most of the rest of us. Check this out: back in '84 when they bought their house, they only mortgaged $4000.00, and they paid that off 19 years ago. Apparently they were able to cover the rest in cash. Now remember that I only paid $29,200 for mine; theirs probably was a bit more. And it's very possible that they'd owned and sold another home before they bought this one. Still.

At that, I decided I knew quite enough about the people around me for one day. Maybe more snooping in what is, after all, public records another day.

*Jealous? No. Grateful I don't have to make the payments.

And Just Like That, It's Over

2008-07-10T23:03:00.003-04:00

When my phone rings at 10:30 pm, I assume it's one of my children, who know about my nightowlish ways.

Instead, it was Mrs. P, the holder of what used to be my second mortgage. A little over two years ago, I paid off the original mortgage, the one my ex and I took out to buy this little house on the peninsula in 1976 for $29,200. Upon satisfaction of that mortgage, Mrs. P became my first mortgage holder.

She was calling because she'd received my July payment, and she was about to deposit it when she decided to consult her amortization schedule.

According to her records, which were compiled by her late husband, a CPA, I owe her a partial payment for July, and then I'm done. She's tearing up the old check, I'm issuing a new one, and after 20 years we're going our separate ways.

(According to my records, payoff should be in September, but who am I to argue with a deceased CPA???)

Although I was having some YouTube trouble on the 4th of July, I figured out today how to sweet-talk the "embed" feature, so let the fireworks begin:

Musical Metaphors Two, Or, Blogger Is Being a Pain

2008-07-10T15:29:00.003-04:00

In my post below, I asked for more suggestions, but for some reason, comments aren't working, just for this latest post. I got them going by disallowing and then reallowing, but when I surfed out and in again, comments were once again gone. I did a test (now deleted) that allowed comments.

I have no idea what's up and I don't have time for this.

Consider this to be the comments section for the post below. I really do want some suggestions!!!!

Musical Metaphors

2008-07-10T12:25:00.010-04:00

Because some plans changed along the way, when it was time to come home from vacation, my daughter couldn't bring me. We decided I would drive her husband's truck home and work out a plan later for returning it. She also supplied me with a dozen CDs to entertain me on the 9-1/2 hour trip.

Yesterday I drove the truck to work to give it a little outing and keep its juices flowing. In the CD player was Simon & Garfunkel's Greatest Hits. The stereo system is quite a good one, and while "Bridge over Troubled Water" was playing, I got goosebumps, and said -- maybe out loud -- that that had to be one of the greatest musical metaphors ever.

"Yeah, that and 'The Long and Winding Road,'" I said, continuing the conversation with myself.

I'm afraid that from there my mind wandered to The Commodores's "Brick House." Oh dear.

Sing it, Lionel.

From there, "Like a Rolling Stone."

All these show my age, for sure. And now I'm stuck. Help! What do the rest of you have?

NOTE: I have no idea why I can't get comments to work for this post, but I can't and I'm done dealing with it. I suspect I might even have a comment on this one because in the "Post Options" section, I'm offered the options or showing or hiding my existing comments. Comments I can't see. I give up. Please comment in the post directly above.

NOTE TWO: Or, you might see comments after all. There one minute, gone the next. Comment wherever Blogger will let you.

Happy Fourth!

2008-07-04T17:34:00.002-04:00

I must be the only soul in Bloggerland who can't easily embed YouTube videos. I can never copy and paste the whole URL and I don't have the patience today to do it in pieces. So although I found a grand fireworks video, never mind.

I've been working today. That might be occasion for me to feel sorry for myself, but not really. Not today. I'm grateful for the opportunity to actually get ahead of my boss on the editing project I'm doing this summer. She has family in town this weekend, so my little fingers are stiff from trying to catch up. I had my fun times last month, and I have no regrets.

But it's time for a food break, and to give the fingers a rest.

Imagine popping sounds, and lights in motion, and oohs and aahhs. Happy Fourth of July!

Please Watch This Show!

2008-07-04T00:35:00.004-04:00

Aliens in America. You'll be glad you did.

It's been cancelled, so this isn't a save-this-show effort. But over the past year, I've had three favorite shows: Lost and Mad Men, tied for first place. (Not a competition because they don't run at the same time of year.) Number three (or two, depending on how you count) was Aliens in America. It's like The Wonder Years, Freaks and Geeks, and Arrested Development all rolled into one. It's funny, poignant, smart, sweet, clever, and cancelled.

It's not too late to watch: episodes are still rerunning on the CW on Sundays at 8:30 pm EST, but full episodes are also online here.

I think I got them all recorded and saved to the DVR, awaiting my finding time to rename them and burn them. That's the only thing about all this that makes me happy. The CW can cancel all it likes, but I'll have the 18 little gems of Season Only as long as DVD technology is still playable.

Fox News: Fun With Photoshop

2008-07-03T20:17:00.007-04:00

Submitted for your review with minimum editorializing because words fail me. Summary is about all I can pull off:

First, New York Times writer Jacques Steinberg writes an article claiming that Fox News' ratings are declining.

Then, Fox responds in a mature manner. See the video at the link.

However, the nyah, nyah tone of the on-air "personalities" is not the point here. The point is that they projected highly photoshopped photos of Steinberg and his editor, to-wit:

Steinberg:

His editor, Steven Reddicliffe:

Remember those fun pictures from childhood, where you look closely to see the differences in the two pictures? Have at it, friends.

Fair and balanced, my foot.

If you can't stand behind our troops, do us all a favor and stand in front of them

2008-07-03T19:12:00.004-04:00

While I was on vacation, I met an in-law of one of my many sisters, and very, very early in the conversation, while we were very much strangers, he made reference to "the idiot Bush." As the conversation went on, I told him how amused I was that he got into the politics so easily and vehemently, because where I live, Super Dooper Red State, liberals tend to test the waters very carefully before launching into political invective. (Turns out he was from upstate New York.) For instance, at a party my son threw several years ago (Alanna, you may remember this), someone we didn't know well said something political, but very carefully (no longer remember what), upon which one of us said that it was ok, we were all liberals here. The group laughed, visibly relaxed, and then began chatting in earnest about politics.

Anyway.

Today I was proud to come across, on CNN, a nationwide broadcast of an example of the prevailing mindset of my region. Here's a link to the video: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/07/03/dnt.tshirt.controversy.wjxt

(If it's possible to embed CNN videos, I don't know how.)

In brief for those disinclined to watch the video, an antiwar activist who attended some kind of local veterans event won a gift bag --

and I'll stop here for a moment and point out that if the woman won a gift bag, she obviously came not as rabble-rouser but as supporter. She must have behaved in a friendly way at the meeting or they'd have escorted her out. It is, surprise, surprise, possible to not support the war but support the troops and the veterans. (Some people, however, see it as all about Love Me, Love My Boss's War.) My son is a Marine and not until we invaded Iraq did I ever strongly feel that he and his colleagues were being misused by our government. Anyway, back to our story.

When she opened the gift bag at home, she was horrified to find a t-shirt with a graphic of a sharpshooter on the front and this friendly message on the back: If you can't stand behind our troops, do us all a favor and stand in front of them.

The anti-war grab-bag winner was further horrified to discover that the shirts were donated by the county sheriff (using his own money) and she believed that this sent a message that the sheriff condones violence against anti-war protestors.

You misunderstand, says the sheriff's spokesman (and I am reminded again why I didn't major in communications...), emphasis mine:

The sheriff purchased the shirts with his own money to support local vets …

It’s simply this: the sheriff bought the shirts, he didn’t design the shirts, he hasn’t done anything to promote the shirts, he just handed a few out after he purchased them to help them raise money to support our local families.

In other words, handing the shirts out is not the same as promoting their message, and he takes no responsibility whatsoever for his actions.

The message on the shirts is not neutral. What if, for instance, a sheriff were asked to buy some t-shirts to support a successful after-school teen program, one that is proven to divert teens away from criminal activity, but the shirts contained a message promoting the legalization of marijuana? (Of course, this is not likely, but the point here is cause good, message on shirts more dicey, at least for a law enforcement officer.) Of course he would distance himself, and fast, even if the after-school program was highly effective and award-winning. In other words, there'd never be a moment when a spokesman would have to say that the sheriff bought the shirts, didn't design them, isn't promoting them, etc. The sheriff would be very careful not to be associated with that message in the first place.

People are like that, after all, all about CYA.

It's safe to say that the sheriff is not that naive, probably sees nothing wrong with the message -- after all, the spokesman doesn't appear to have denounced it -- and is probably very proud of disseminating these shirts.

And this is the red world in which I live, one that my New York friend couldn't wrap his mind around.

Arresting News!

2008-06-30T23:16:00.006-04:00

Jeffrey Tambor, a/k/a George Bluth, Sr. and Oscar Bluth, has announced that Arrested Development the movie is on.

I was skeptical -- Tambor would hardly be the official mouthpiece -- so I went to IMDB.com, where I found a fleshed-out page for the film, including an "announced" status, although it's not clear what all that's based on.

I'm sure this is especially good news for Ron Howard, who served as the show's narrator and who could surely use the work.

We can hope, anyway.

In other happy viewing news, I look for Mad Men season 1 in the mail this week.

Back from Vacation

2008-06-26T23:45:00.002-04:00

And of course, I'm now sick. Just the garden-variety body aches, sore throat, cough, etc. Not the more unpleasant symptoms that sometimes accompany minor illnesses.

Fortunately.

And while I read blogs on the new laptop while I was gone, I didn't have time to post on my own blog. I was having too much fun.

This too-much-fun thing is quite unusual. I enjoyed it while I could.

Tomorrow I hope to feel better and get some work done for my employer.

Then back to blogging. :)

This Is a Criminal Intent

2008-06-26T23:35:00.004-04:00

Law & Order: Criminal Intent's Chris Noth is moving on. While I like Noth well enough on the show, I can live with that. The one constant in the L&O family is change, after all, just like in "real" life.

What's criminal, however, is that his replacement is Jeff Goldblum.

Goldblum did an entirely too good job of being a Big Jerk in The Big Chill, and I've never found him anything but annoying.

Either I can live with it, or tune out every other episode. Or maybe Goldblum will surprise me and be, at worst, someone I love to hate.

Whatever.

One Upside to Laptop Ownership

2008-06-08T13:35:00.003-04:00

It serves as a nice alarm clock.

If the battery threatens to run out, clearly I've been on the computer too long.

It's good to have boundaries.

Blogging Has Just Cost Me $600

2008-06-08T13:04:00.003-04:00

And counting.

Last night I bought a low-end laptop, even though I already have a perfectly good desktop.

I actually have a number of reasons for wanting one, several of them work-related, but no, I didn't really need a laptop. Except for one thing.

I'm about to go away for two weeks. I don't like to go a'blogging on others' computers, leaving behind my pinko liberal traitor browsing history (related post below).

Faced with two weeks away from reading blog posts, not to mention writing them, the stress pushed me over the edge and off I went to Best Buy with a store ad in hand.

I didn't buy the store ad on-sale laptop, but I didn't pay too much more for the one I got, and the helpful young man who answered my questions, including some I didn't know to ask, wasn't even working on commission, so there was nothing in it for him.

I'm not a big fan of the built-in computer mouse, but I got an optical wireless mouse. Yet I haven't even bothered to break it out.

Once I got home, I decided I really needed to set up wireless in my house. It was too late to go back to BB, so I went to WalMart. To shorten the story, I bought a router that I know I connected correctly, but that won't complete the set up. (Yes, I have an adapter for the desktop and a built-in in the laptop.) I went to the router's online support (connecting the conventional way), and found a chat area about my router, where I learned that many, many people have experienced exactly the problem I am having. With no resolution.

So I'm boxing the thing up and returning it today.

If anyone has any advice on an easy-to-use, reliable router, I'm hungry to hear it. I won't deal with this any more until I return from my trip, but other than going to Best Buy for advice, I really don't know what else to do.

Boogity, Boogity, Boogity!!! Or, Something Else I Saw Today

2008-06-08T00:08:00.003-04:00

Exiting a stone store (as in pavers), I almost ran into a man wearing a t-shirt that read, "Beware Liberals Posing as Americans."

I wish I had run into him -- hard.

This equation is a big frame around my parts:

conservatives = Americans
non-conservatives = non-Americans

There's a bumper sticker on every fifth car with a flag graphic and the words, "Stand up for America. Be an American!"

Logic is totally missing from these slogans. If a person is an American, she's an American. Period. This isn't a recruiting bumper sticker, as in "come be a naturalized citizen!" Of that I am quite sure.

And as for Mr. T-shirt, he's up to here, literally, in scare tactics, either/or fallacies, strawman-baiting, etc. Another argument without evidence.

Boogity, boogity! Beware the liberal traitor! She might be buying stakes for her paver edging at a store near you, plotting the downfall of the greatest nation on the planet while making sure her pavers don't shift.

Or something like that.

Right Outside the Front Door of Best Buy

2008-06-08T00:04:00.003-04:00

Not the place I would expect to see a stretch limousine idling, with four adult couples in formal wear standing beside it and laughing and hugging.

But that's what I saw.

I Can Go Home Again

2008-06-04T21:00:00.001-04:00

On Monday, I begin a two-week trip that will take me to my daughter's home and then take her, her boys, and me to spend a week in Maryland, where my mother and most of my other relatives live.

This trip almost didn't happen, and then it was only going to be a few days in Maryland, but now, now it's a full week.

I haven't allowed myself to get excited. Until today.

And some of these guys will be meeting their fate when they meet me:

and I'll have some of this:

And I'll see my mother, my seven sisters, two brothers, six nieces and nephews (yes, among all those siblings, they could only manage six kids -- I contributed three to the pool all by myself! [well, I had a little help...]), a great-niece and great-nephew, my ex's mother and some of her relatives...

Women in Film

2008-06-04T20:55:00.000-04:00

As we continue this Week of Wonder, in which a film about women actually made a lot of money, Shakesville's Question of the Day is generating quite a list of films carried by female leads here.

(The link to the NY Times article includes an hour-long video interview with Sarah Jessica Parker. I haven't had time to watch it all yet.)

Calling Norma Rae...

2008-06-04T17:33:00.003-04:00

Ugly things happening at work. Betrayal-level things.

Since I will only talk about work in generalties, I'll just say that this reminds me that the powerful always have power over the powerless, no matter what reassurances the powerful might make.

And management always assumes that there's more and better where you came from.

(Don't fret -- I am not on the verge of losing my job. At least I don't think I am. Metaphorically, however, perhaps I am. Because it's never going to be the same again.)

A Teachable Moment

2008-06-02T21:00:00.004-04:00

Although I'm not sure that I want to think of the study of poetry literally as punishment, one prosecutor and one teacher seem to have found just the right occasion to sentence vandals to two nights of poetry:

Call it poetic justice: More than two dozen young people who broke into Robert Frost's former home for a beer party and trashed the place are being required to take classes in his poetry as part of their punishment.

Using "The Road Not Taken" and another poem as jumping-off points, Frost biographer Jay Parini hopes to show the vandals the error of their ways -- and the redemptive power of poetry.

"I guess I was thinking that if these teens had a better understanding of who Robert Frost was and his contribution to our society, that they would be more respectful of other people's property in the future and would also learn something from the experience," said prosecutor John Quinn.

The vandalism occurred at the Homer Noble Farm in Ripton, where Frost spent more than 20 summers before his death in 1963. Now owned by Middlebury College, the unheated farmhouse on a dead-end road is used occasionally by the college and is open in the warmer months.

[...]

Parini, 60, a Middlebury College professor who has stayed at the house before, was eager to oblige when Quinn asked him to teach the classes. He donated his time for the two sessions.

On Wednesday, 11 turned out for the first, with Parini giving line-by-line interpretations of "The Road Not Taken" and "Out, Out-," seizing on parts with particular relevance to draw parallels to their case.

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood," he thundered, reciting the opening line of the first poem, which he called symbolic of the need to make choices in life.

"This is where Frost is relevant. This is the irony of this whole thing. You come to a path in the woods where you can say, `Shall I go to this party and get drunk out of my mind?"' he said. "Everything in life is choices."

Even the setting had parallels, he said: "Believe me, if you're a teenager, you're always in the damned woods. Literally, you're in the woods -- probably too much you're in the woods. And metaphorically you're in the woods, in your life. Look at you here, in court diversion! If that isn't `in the woods,' what the hell is `in the woods'? You're in the woods!"

Although some vandals were quoted making statements that suggested they got it,

[w]hen the session ended, the vandals were offered snacks -- apple cider, muffins, sliced fruit -- but none partook. They went straight for the door, several declining comment as they walked out of the building.

What's in a Name?

2008-06-02T10:57:00.004-04:00

Or, a Muttering on Why I Really, Really, Really Hope That My DIL, Indian Princess, Doesn't Get Her Way about Naming Their Coming Baby, Should That Baby Be a Girl.

Based on what Indian Princess said to me recently about Marine Son suggesting other names, I dearly hope this is not a done deal. IP has had her heart set on a certain girl's name forever apparently, but you know what? Teenage dreams don't always go so well with adult realities. The only person I've ever heard of with IP's preferred name has had a tough, tough life, and as such, I'd hate to see a newborn baby be associated in any way with someone who's essentially famous for being, heartbreakingly, a walking disaster.

And she's made the news again.

Names should be a gift, not a burden.

(Grandmotherly rant over and out.)

Hat tip to Petulant at Shakesville.

Edit: On the same topic, what mother names her precious newborn Craphonso???

I Told You So

2008-06-01T15:00:00.007-04:00

Women pump up 'Sex and the City' to $55.7 million opening

("Pump up." Get it? Ha-ha.)

The women have spoken — with their designer wallets.

Female moviegoers, many of them decked out as their favorite Sex and the City character, helped drive the adaptation of the popular HBO show to a stunning $55.7 million this weekend, according to studio estimates from box office tracking firm Nielsen EDI.

The debut is nearly twice the projections of many analysts, who assumed the movie's R rating and cable TV fan base would limit it to a $30 million opening.

'Sex and City' beats 'Indy' for top box-office draw

"Sex and the City," a release from Time Warner Inc.'s New Line unit, not only prompted thousands of Cosmopolitan-fueled cocktail parties focused on its Friday debut, it also made nearly $27 million in its first day in theaters, said Paul Dergarabedian, president of box-office tracker Media By Numbers.

It went on to rake in more than $17 million on Saturday and is expected to make more than $11 million on Sunday, Dergarabedian said. That's a surprise, considering the movie was expected to make somewhere around $35 million to $40 million for the entire weekend. "Sex and the City went off the air in 2004.

"We should never underestimate the clout of the female audience and the power of 'Sex and the City,'" Dergarabedian said. "This is the first real surprise of the summer."

Only to you and your ilk, sir.

Prior to Friday, [online ticket seller] Fandango reported that a survey of "Sex and the City" ticket buyers showed that 80% of all purchasers planned to attend a party devoted to the movie, and two-thirds planned to have Cosmopolitans, the signature drink of the television series' characters.

There's your financial stimulus. On Tuesday, Alanna and I will see the film and will also add to the economy by having a fabulous meal, but I'm not so sure about the Cosmos. (Well, I can only speak for myself.)

'Sex and the City': A Big Box Office Win

[T]hat $55.7 mil premiere is one for the history books. It is by far the best of all time for a romantic comedy, and it's also tops for a TV adaptation. It ranks as the No. 5 opening for an R-rated film (following those for a bunch of man-baiting movies like 300 and Hannibal). And when final weekend figures come out on Monday, it could be the fifth-top debut ever for New Line...

I told you so. Not that anyone who hangs around here was questioning my powers of observation. But it still feels really, really good to say.

Simple Math

2008-06-01T14:12:00.003-04:00

I received by email a horribly offensive cartoon from my neighbor, one that hits on every big lie that's been spread about Barack Obama thus far (muslim extremist, Black Panther, anti-pledge of allegiance, etc.), and it occurs to me that in November we're going to raise our hands not to the question, "Who do you want for President?" but "How many of you are prejudiced and proud of it?"

And I'm afraid to know the answer to that question.