One Smoot Short of a Bridge

Hardly workin'

2009-07-09T10:45:00.000-04:00

I've got about half an hour between appointments, so I'm sitting in my
car at the beach returning phonecalls and emails. There are several
dozen people who seem to be doing the same thing, but only three
people outside on the actual beach. Apparently this is what qualifies
as "getting some fresh air" for us urban working people!

Watching the esplanade fireworks from our roof with the WBZ soundtrack streaming on iTunes

2009-07-04T22:52:00.001-04:00

The Pops was awesome. The stuff interspersed was a little lacking, particularly that bebop version of U2 (which we turned off until it was over). Neil Diamond was pretty awesome, I mean, for Neil Diamond.

The fireworks are awesome. The accompanying music is some of the most craptastic stuff I've ever heard, and I'm not seeing/hearing the "synchronized to the music" that they were talking about.

People, refusing to acknowledge Independence Day doesn't get you cool hippie liberal indie points

2009-07-04T16:25:00.003-04:00

...at least from me. Maybe it does from other people; I don't know.

I'm sure most of you can ascertain that I don't agree with a whole hell of a lot of what goes on in this country. But you know what? I also appreciate the freedoms we do have, and I have hope that we'll eventually have the rest of the freedoms we ought to.

While people certainly have the right to go on about how they don't acknowledge this holiday, and I definitely get where they're coming from, I feel like they'd get a lot further by reclaiming the holiday to stand for what they want it do be. (See "freedom to do such things," op cit.) People are going to ask people what their plans are, and if you're truly an activist, it makes much more sense to jump on the opportunity and tell them how you spend the day doing whatever you feel makes this country a better place. You're missing a great opportunity by just saying that you don't acknowledge the holiday. Why not tell your neighbors and coworkers exactly why you prefer to deemphasize celebrating wars and white Christian straight males, and what you like to associate with freedom instead?

(And besides, why pass up an opportunity for barbequeing and blowing things up and drinking beer and eating pie? This day really isn't all that bad! Hell, you could even celebrate the event by blowing up a pie if you wanted. THIS COUNTRY IS JUST THAT FREE DAMMIT.)

Playing around with a vocabulary builder website

2009-07-03T13:13:00.002-04:00

I came across this Vocaboly site, which advertises "vocabulary software," when looking for vocabulary games to play (I'm a dork, OK?). The online "vocabulary tests" are somewhat useful, but could use a bit of tweaking. I took the GRE one, and it's a multiple-choice format similar to the GRE, but not of the same quality. Some of the words were extremely simple words that would never show up on the GRE. Others didn't have any options that truly defined the word (I even got so dorky as to check dictionaries to make sure none of them were accepted definitions). All in all, it was a decent review. What drove me crazy about the site though is that they have downloadable vocabulary software with a free trial, including a mode that describes itself as a Star Wars type shooting game. The screenshot looks cool, but I couldn't download the software, because it's only available for Windows. The site doesn't have any version of the games available as embedded flash or anything, which is kind of passé. Actually, the whole idea of stand-alone software for a simple application is kind of outdated; why not just put it online?

In addition to his poor taste in kitchen appliances, Michael Flaherty also likes to waste money and ignore details

2009-07-02T20:26:00.004-04:00

There are two registered voters in our household. Today in our mailbox, there were four of these:

Were some of these misdelivered, you might wonder? Nope:

They're both addressed to me. The address was just entered two different ways into the database. The spousal unit also got two mailings with the same duplication.

When I've volunteered for campaigns, they've had me do such exciting tasks as, well, going through their database and taking out obvious duplicate voters, so as not to waste money/trees/energy on mailings, not annoy households with duplicate phonecalls, and most of all, not make prospective voters think that the candidate is wasteful and can't bother to have humans work for him or her. One of the campaigns even scaled back the database so that each household got one call or mailing.

Apparently Michael Flaherty didn't do any of this.

Or maybe he did, but then his Kitchenaid mixer went crazy and ate the lists.

I need to get a 1068-inch MacBook

2009-07-02T18:33:00.002-04:00

...because Netflix now has IMAX films available for instant viewing on my home computer.

What.

Some jackhole is defending "don't ask, don't tell" right now on NPR

2009-06-29T17:30:00.002-04:00

"Repealing the law will cause more people to leave the military than the law has."

Sounds like a strong case for repealing it then, if it's leading to people who will only stay in the military if it continues to officially back their homophobia. Repeal it ASAP and get those homophobes away from the GLBT folks who are trying to serve our country. This is one very much needed step toward creating one fewer place where homophobes are free to practice hate. Also, my queer tax dollars continue to fund the military. Set it free!

It's too bad the MacBook doesn't have the camera in the spine

2009-06-23T16:58:00.003-04:00

...like some of those handheld stylus-using devices do.

Because I'm sitting here in a cafe in Cambridge, and over the top of my laptop screen I can see this nice-looking woman of advanced age, with pearls and a shirt that my mom would call a blouse, reading a novel, who is totally fellating the straw in her iced beverage. And has been doing so continually for about 10 minutes.

(Don't worry, I would blur the face in the video before posting it. And I do have my iPhone, which of course shoots stealth photos -- and is handy for looking at people's outfits or books or whatever with them thinking you're just staring at your screen -- but a still shot just wouldn't capture this, and this model iPhone doesn't shoot video.)

Home Improvement, eeka style

2009-06-21T16:25:00.002-04:00

While searching for more information on mounting cabinets to weird nonstandard 116-year-old walls, I didn't find much other than contradictory advice and things that I already know didn't work with smaller and lighter items I've tried to affix to walls. However, I did find this primer on choosing and installing a cabinet, which might just be one of the most hilarious and awesomest things ever written. How does this person know how my home-improvement tasks play out?!

Are MBTA operators allowed to possess these?

2009-06-16T14:22:00.000-04:00

(Because there haven't been enough vehicle-related posts here lately.)

This operator is clearly in possession of a container of Good &
Plenty. Should someone be notified?

(For some reason it's REALLY FUNNY when something like this goes by in
a bus.)

Get those hands at 10 and 2 where they belong!

2009-06-15T22:51:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, during an in-car discussion of preferred hands-on-wheel position, I looked down and realized that I hold the steering wheel like some kind of demented birdlike creature:

I wonder what else I do strangely.

Wait, what?

2009-06-12T21:28:00.001-04:00

Apparently Brookline reserves some of their meter spots for REALLY SMALL CARS.

What the hell kind of plant is this?

2009-06-10T19:12:00.001-04:00

Shown below, about to eat my spouse.

This was a gift, and we have no idea whether it should be indoors or outdoors or what to do with it. It's about tripled in size over the past week and now has big white conical flowers, five petals, no, uh, stamen or whatever you call the things that stick out of some coney flowers. It's really awesome and we want to care for it appropriately. Help?

Map of Fort Hill/Highland Park in Roxbury

2009-06-08T08:44:00.005-04:00

Since I couldn't find any maps specifically of the Fort Hill/Highland Park neighborhood, I've "made" these maps showing the general area that makes up the neighborhood. They're just screenshots of google maps with some highlighting; feel free to use them or link to them. Also feel free to comment if you think the borders should be in different places than where I've put them.

Zoomed-out map showing proximity to other stuff.

Zoomed-in map so all of the streets are labeled.

Click on either map for a larger copy. When I get some more time, I'll add in some landmarks of cool places on the hill.

Spotted on Dorchester Ave near Fields Corner

2009-06-04T15:59:00.001-04:00

Dude on a bike, older 10-speed type, with an old triangular bright blue iMac balanced on the handlebars. Didn't get a good look at him (was too fixated on the iMac) but guessing Vietnamese based on location and certain brand of resourcefulness. Behind him was an ice cream truck creeping up on him and beeping the horn.

How to not be an asshole on craigslist

2009-05-31T15:18:00.002-04:00

In preparation for switching around some things in our house, we've been selling things on craigslist. I'm happy to report that all of the sales have eventually gone well, but almost all of them have attracted at least a few weirdos. Based on recent experiences of weird behavior that just never would have occurred to me, I wish to provide the public with some advice:

How to not be an asshole on craigslist

1) If you inquire about something and then change your mind or decide it won't work once the seller provides you with the details you requested, don't just delete the e-mail without replying. Seriously, take the 30 seconds to write back and say it's not quite what you wanted and to thank them for their time. You wouldn't walk into a shop and ask to see some items in various colors, then just walk out without even saying a word. Or perhaps you would, and that's the problem.

2) If you've shown interest in an item and you ask the person where they live, don't then reply and say, "oh, I don't know where that is, so I'm all set, thanks." If you can't use google maps or ask someone for directions, you have no business posting on craigslist and scouting around the city to try to get one-of-a-kind items and good deals. Likewise if you realize my neighborhood isn't posh enough for you. It's right by a major T station, has plenty of on-street parking, and I've already specified the general area in my original ad. Please, go take your city-fearing self to a Jordan's or something. Craigslist isn't for people like you. And furthermore, when you decide not to venture into the city to check out my table, you're not "all set," because you still don't have a table. Grow a pair and use your I-statements and tell me you've changed your mind or are going to have to decline or whatever. The only place where it's acceptable to say "all set" is in a restaurant or at a cash register, and even then it's not always the phrase you want.

3) When you come over to someone's house to look at things, don't freak out and tell them you're allergic to cats and lecture them as if they had just brought cats into your house without asking. It's not at all uncommon for a North American household to have cats or dogs, so you might want to ask people before visiting their home. This especially goes for the person who wanted to buy an all-wooden piece of furniture and said that I should have stated in the ad that it was "contaminated." Thanks for the feedback, and next time I will be sure to anticipate that my buyer might be someone who will be deathly allergic to wooden furniture that has been near cats and has since been wiped down.

4) Don't try to negotiate the price without at least some sort of background as to why it probably isn't worth as much, or acknowledgement that you realize you're not offering much and you're happy to wait and see if there aren't any better offers. I did sell a mandolin to a very nice person named Jackie, who explained to me that it needed a few repairs and how much these would cost, and who was apologetic and made it clear that I shouldn't feel obligated to listen to her. This was very upfront and helpful, and I was happy to sell it to her and felt confident that she knew what she was talking about. Others, however, have been less appropriate with their offers. Like the person who sent me a link on Amazon to a product that wasn't remotely similar and said my item was overpriced because they could buy a completely different item new on Amazon for just a little bit more than I was asking (plus shipping that cost as much as the item). Or the person who asked if they could buy my almost-new huge suitcase for $15 instead of $20, and would I mind dropping it off in Providence.

5) When you're getting a really good deal on something, don't decide that you're only able to pick it up at one specific time on one specific day. Shopping opportunities do exist for people with such important obligations and inflexible schedules; they're called stores. For four times as much as I want for my bookshelf, you can get one exactly when and where you prefer.

6) Respect people's time. If you need an item to fit in a certain space, and the dimensions are included in the ad, measure your space and see if it will fit before coming to look at the item and saying, "oh, it's much bigger than it looked in the pictures, and definitely won't fit in our room" and being surprised that a table that seats four is larger than 600x800 pixels.

7) Don't offer to mail me a cashier's check. Just don't.

A sociolinguistic observation

2009-05-29T06:50:00.001-04:00

In American English, when something is defective or not to our liking, we usually say that we plan to "get a new one." Likewise when we notice that someone has a different car or backpack or phone or something. We usually say, "oh, you got a new car?" which then inevitably leads to discussion of whether it is new or used, where it came from, why the change, etc.

In most Western European languages, the construction uses "change" rather than "buy" or "get a new." (Readers who are familiar with other languages than I am, please comment!) Speakers of these languages will then use the same construction when speaking in English, e.g, "my computer keeps crashing so I need to change it" or, "oh, you changed your car." I've also heard this construction in English from speakers from Africa and Asia, but I don't know if this is influenced by their native languages or by Western European English.

It's kind of interesting that the American construction of "get/buy a new one" seems to be an anomaly. Again, I'm working with a limited sample size here, and would love to hear from people who know other languages than I do. But it seems like the American construction focuses on purchasing something and tends to lead toward a discussion of how and why the person came to have a different item, while the constructions in other countries seem more neutral and less oriented toward consumerism and status. I'd love to know if there are even different constructions in other places (particularly places where making a living and having belongings is difficult) and/or if there are places where it's not polite to even bring it up.

Those dudes selling roses

2009-05-21T22:22:00.004-04:00

You know those guys who walk around peddling roses to drivers on Melnea Cass and Mass Ave (and sometimes on Columbus Ave)? Does anyone ever buy any? I've yet to see someone buy some, but I'm pretty sure people wouldn't stay in a completely pointless line of work (with the possible exception of Art Garfunkel's solo career). Do any of my readers happen to be rose-sellers or acquainted with rose-sellers? Or rose-buyers?

I wouldn't have thought there was such a thing as being too polite, but...

2009-05-21T17:45:00.004-04:00

I got one of those letters from Capital One saying that their interest rates are going up to 22% and 24% and whatnot, unless it was a promotional rate, in which case it wouldn't change. They offered one of those options where you can close the account and continue paying on it if you don't like the terms, but you have to write to them and decline the change in terms. I was pretty sure that my loan was a promotional rate, but wanted to be sure.

I called the number to ask about this. The person who answered the phone said, and I kid you not, "Thank you so much for calling to verify the terms of your balance with us. We very much appreciate you having taken the time to call and inquire about that." Everything I said was followed by some remark about how the operator was "delighted to assist with that," and/or "sincerely hope that your concerns have been fully addressed," and so forth.

I started to feel like I was Rudey McRuderson for just appending a simple "please" or "thanks" to my replies. It was actually kind of weird feeling so focused on wanting to be super friendly to this employee, in contrast to my usually feeling like I want to punch someone when I call customer service people. This employee could have been all shades of incompetent, and I would have remained a docile, polite little robot.

The strangest thing was that it all felt absolutely sincere, where usually I am so turned off by customer service people who feel the need to thank me for having asked them a question (see "wanting to reach through the phone and punch someone" op cit). This person seemed to actually feel gratitude for the gift of spending time answering credit card questions. No, really. I felt like I would have been a ogre, had I done anything that might have rained on this person's clear love of answering the Capital One toll-free number.

Seriously, if you're having a bad day, I recommend calling Capital One and asking about loan terms. Even if you don't have an account with them. I'm pretty sure the person in the phone would be simply delighted to explain the terms to you anyway. This employee is far from the type to discriminate in sharing the joys that are the Capital One loan terms.

And no, do not even try to tell me that there are other people there who might answer the calls as well. I won't believe it. My relationship with Capital One Operator Extraordinaire goes even deeper than my love for Julie at Amtrak, who I sometimes feel is the only one who truly understands me. Or at least who doesn't mind phone calls at 3:00am.

(For the record, Capital One is really pretty awesome. I know they have a reputation as being sort of a subprime credit card company, if there is such a thing, but they're actually great for people like me who don't make a lot of money and have a good chunk of debt, but have steady working-class income and don't have any derogatory credit history. Every few months they send me e-mails saying they've increased my credit limit on my loan and my credit card. The credit card started out as one of those $200-limit credit cards that I got when I was like 20. The limit is now $18,500. I could like buy a freakin' car with that. And pay way more interest than a car loan charges, but that's not the point!)

Highly scientific Mike's Hard Lemonade research

2009-05-18T21:24:00.002-04:00

Molly and I were talking about whether we prefer original Mike's Hard Lemonade or Mike's Hard Lime, and with what food pairings we prefer them and whatnot, when we started to wonder whether they actually taste different. We decided to do highly scientific research to answer our question.

Sample group: n = 2 (me and Molly)

We also included a control group, consisting of two self-selecting cats, in order to include subjects who were not at all familiar with Mike's products. However, the control group yielded no results, as they were not interested in tasting the Mike's due to being rather preoccupied with our burritos and nachos.

Each subject was blindfolded, then presented with a succession of Mike's beverages, each being either lemonade or lime, and then asked to identify the order in which they had been presented.

Subject 1 (eeka) identified them in the correct order, but was not very confident in having identified them correctly.

Subject 2 (Molly) identified 50% of the beverages correctly.

Conclusion: Mike's Hard Lemonade, along with the other varieties, are horrible products and should be disposed of immediately. In the event that your local public works department has not yet implemented a Mike's recovery program, please send your Mike's products to One Smoot Short of a Bridge, where they can be used for further research and then disposed of properly. Please note that Mike's Hard Berry can be disposed of simply by pouring it out, and should not be mailed.

I think I'm beginning to see why the commuter rail is so unreliable

2009-05-17T14:59:00.001-04:00

The train from Boston to Haverhill stops in Wyoming, according to the loudspeaker dude.

Overheard at North Station

2009-05-17T14:41:00.002-04:00

"Which is exactly why I didn't want anyone to know I have a cellphone. So then she texas me, and I'm about to texas her and tell her she can call my house phone, and then Barry texas me, and I don't even know how to get back to the first texas from her..."

You know what's messed up?

2009-05-13T19:50:00.002-04:00

Signage stores with crappy signs on them. Also renovation or interior design places where their office looks like ass. Really, who is choosing these places and keeping them in business?

(And no, I wasn't just driving around in Watertown or Belmont or anything like that.)

A few reasons why the Massachusetts "universal healthcare" implementation isn't working

2009-05-06T22:01:00.000-04:00

There's a lot of talk in the blogosphere about why the Massachusetts universal healthcare thing isn't working. I thought I'd throw in my two cents based on my experiences:

(For the record, I'm totally in favor of universal healthcare. This state just obviously doesn't know how to implement it.)

1) The state is only penalizing companies that don't offer ANY healthcare. They're not penalizing companies (like my employer) that offer unaffordable insurance. My agency does subsidize the insurance a little bit, so it costs less than purchasing comparable insurance on the MA connector, but it still doesn't cover much. You know that "affordability worksheet" that's in your MA tax form booklet? When I fill it out, it tells us that our income is sufficient to afford a plan that costs X per month. The cheapest plan my employer offers me costs a lot more than X per month. So, if I were to decline insurance, I wouldn't be penalized by the state since I'm not offered affordable insurance (and don't make enough to be required to buy full-price insurance privately), but my employer also is not being penalized for offering me an expensive plan that covers nothing. So, all a company has to do to avoid this penalty is to offer health insurance, even if they don't subsidize it whatsoever.

2) When universal *cough*bullshit*cough* healthcare started up in Massachusetts, the state eliminated the plans that were previously in place. For instance:

2a) MassHealth no longer considers people to have a disability if said person is able to work, or is working. (Those are actually somewhat different; their doctors agreed that I'm unable to work by standardized measures, but in my case my level of education and skills make me lucky enough to have a job where I can flex my hours and reschedule things when I can't make it in, and I don't have to do much physical labor as a white-collar type, so I have been consistently employed.) In Massachusetts, one can only get Medicare based on disability if one is totally unable to work and not working. There are a few exceptions for diagnoses like Down Syndrome. Many other states have a "medically needy" category where employed people with a lot of medical expenses can get Medicare and still work.

Despite having conditions that cost me a buttload of money in medical expenses and substantially affect my daily life (again, by standard measures; I personally find ways to do what I need to), I can't get any help from MassHealth unless I stop working. If I were to stop working, they would give me SSI, SSDI, and MassHealth.

I'd be better off financially if I stopped working. How messed up is that? All I want them to do is give me MassHealth to help with my large and frequent co-pays and cover things that my work insurance doesn't cover, like leg braces (When I called my insurance company to see if I could get an exception, they told me that they don't cover that sort of stuff because people who need it can get Medicare. Except not in Massachusetts, I discovered.), MRIs and bloodwork. They aren't willing to do this, but they're willing to pay me to sit at home and not work. Tell me, which is more cost effective?

2b) I have a lot of out-of-pocket medical expenses related to some chronic medical conditions. I pay a lot of co-pays for meds and frequent specialist visits (plus my co-pays particularly suck because one of my conditions requires that I go to the ER and get IV drugs any time I have symptoms, and the ER is $100 per visit) and I pay out-of-pocket for stuff that my insurance doesn't cover. There have been recent years that my medical bills were up near my yearly salary. (I've not paid them, and they've gone to collections and ruined my credit.)

Before they had the universal healthcare thing, hospitals ran their own freecare systems. I used to just go into their financial aid office, show them my medical bills that were close to my yearly income, and they'd agree to cover them since there was clearly no way for me to pay them. Now, the hospitals can't do their own freecare, and those funds are instead under the state "safety net" program, also administered by the MassHealth people. This program only looks at your yearly income, not anything else. Since my yearly income is a bit above their close-to-poverty limits (which are somewhere in the 20,000s for our family), they can't help me. It doesn't matter that my outstanding medical bills last year were close to my yearly income and I obviously can't pay them and also have housing or food.

Also, to add in a few thoughts about why this particularly burdens GLBT families:

My employer only offers single-person insurance plans and family insurance plans. (A majority of employers in the area offer two-person plans, according to surveying that has been done by the GLBT media). Since the federal government refuses to recognize my same-sex marriage, I pay extensive federal taxes on my health insurance plan, and the family plans make this even worse for my spouse and me. When I pay $312.87 per month for insurance premiums, the IRS considers $111.34 of that (the cost of the individual plan offered to us) to be allowable as a pre-tax deduction. I then have to pay taxes on the additional $201.53, since the federal government does not allow me to spend pre-tax dollars on my spouse. My spouse then has to declare the $201.53 as taxable income, for the same reason. The guidelines state that the entire amount paid above the amount of an individual plan is taxable for both of us; we are not allowed to discard the additional amount that we are forced to donate to my employer. Not only are we subsidizing other people's larger families, but we're being taxed on this donation as if it were income. We're paying the price for being forced to have a family plan THREE TIMES, not just one time like opposite-sex two-person families. If my employer were to offer a two-person plan costing roughly $200 per month, my spouse and I would each only be taxed on the additional $100 or so per month, rather than the $200 we pay taxes on because of the family plan. Having a two-person plan would reduce each of our taxable incomes by about $1200 per year, while increasing our available take-home income by about the same amount. Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) has written a number of papers explaining why refusing to offer a two-person plan unfairly burdens same-sex couples.

Walking 20 miles to feed hungry people while ignoring hungry individuals

2009-05-03T09:49:00.000-04:00

Ah, the irony. Spare Change Guy didn't seem to be getting any donations.