Emotions....

Hard

2008-11-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

''Hard to understand" and" hard to imagine your feelings" are common words come as comments from some dear readers, but have great effect to show me how they do care and understand. May Allah respond to your and our prayers for peace.
Lately Iraqi Christian citizens were threatened and forced to leave their homes and hide in some villages out side Mosul and in Kurdistan. That made me so much angry and afraid from the coming consequences. wondering who will be the next terror's victim?! what is happening to the children and all innocents in my country under day light?! and what will be the reaction of the Iraqis toward relegating their Christian friends ,neighbors ,and workmates? How do those citizens feel toward other Iraqis now? why their children can't go to school? Of course ,I did not expect any response from our numb government. And I felt useless .
In my work we have a dentist that had to leave her house so quickly after she got serious threatening , she even didn't have time to take her important belongings , and left to outside Mosul to rent a small apartment. at work every one donated some money ,and we bought some food stuff ,blankets , electric heater and some other impotent things. And two mates visited her and gave her those provisions. they said she hugged them , and cried for so long. she had only some rugs , that the red cross organization brought them.. her daughter is attending the village school temporally
After a month of suffering most of those refugees returned to their work because the government refused to give them furloughing , what a clever and responsible way to help them!!!.
My eldest daughter saw the hailing of her teacher ,by the other teachers and students, she described all the hugs and tears that she saw. She said that every one was so much thrilled to see her back. she also talked about a woman came and greeted this teacher and told her that half of her house was destroyed when terrorists blasted her Christian neighbor's house.
Mama

More ......

2008-10-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hello, After wonderful days with my parents who came to spend Eid with us, the situation in Mosul began to show succumbing. brutishly Christian Iraqi citizens were threatened , attacked and many were killed without any reason, and 2000 families were forced to leave their homes in their own country ,to stay in countryside ders, and camps. or rent houses out of Mosul .then things began sinking so badly many explosions ,car bombs and assassinations took place . my house was among the losses. again our windows doors and some other damages had to be fixed. But what about our emotions? it can't be repaired? the fear, everything was ruined in our life can't be restored. This time the explosion's shrapnel were very close to hurt my dear four years old son ,who was playing in the garden, enjoying the nice autumnal weather .after a long hot summer ,playing with his bike. seeing my kid ,fine with no any scratch made me feel so dumbfounded. I went through some time of unrecognizing what's happening around me and stayed silent with my little boy in my lap, I was not foresighted at all. that was so weird .i never had this reaction before ,I swear I couldn't perceive things around me,every one in the family started to check our damages, they were talking but I was not concentrating and so not realizing anything .my eldest daughter told me things I said, and did but I still can't remember ! .

Mama.

Different meanings ...

2008-09-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

I found that the words give different meanings among the nations of different languages, if that wasn't true, it means the president of USA and the American government is lying ,cheating the Americans and the whole world. Let me explain my crazy idea.presedent Bush keep talking in his speeches and interviews about reconstructing Iraq after it's "liberation", while we, the Iraqis, find our country destroyed completely after it's occupation, though we got rid of the X- unjust regimen. He also keep talking about the new Iraqis life and describe the new democracy WE suppose to enjoy ,while our jails are full of innocents, Because America and our democratic government fail to catch
terrorists , murderers and those who threaten our lives along the day hours. Instead of seeing Iraqis happy and enjoy peace and opulence in their" liberated "country, they leave it under menace, specially the educated citizens . Under Bush campaign to develop the hospitals and the health field in general, things not just became worse but even controlled diseases became threatening diseases like cholera!!!!!!.Besides cancer, infants cretins and so many strange health problems.
Sure many things increased in unbelievable way since Mr. President bothered him self to" liberate" us, now we have millions of orphans, widows, even more than any country in the gulf area. And millions of immigrants. Thousands of tragic real stories. he even made miracles, he made the citizens of the richest country in the whole world live in poverty, the richest country in owing the world's oil emendals , live almost without all types of power, believe a life without electricity in 2008, under so hard weather circumstances, extremely hot in summer , with sand storms because of the absence of green cover in the most fecund land. And very cold weather in winter when the temperature drop under zero, imagine a life in such freezing circumstances without heaters, hot water. and the students study in their icy classrooms !!!!.
Ahh, we lost so many beloved relatives and miss them badly , because of this war against terrorism, but still governed by terrorists that steal our souls, wealth , country and every valuable thing in our life..
Mama…

To liberators ?!!!!

2008-08-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

So many things changed since YOU AMERICA invaded my country to liberate us from our live. last Saturday I attended a friend wedding ,this wasn’t the first wedding that I see or hear about without a groom.!!!!!. such an unbelievable things began to be common in my country, this is all because of the hard and dangerous circumstances. just try to imagine the couples feelings. when they can’t enjoy their wedding together, which is the most important event in their lives. The groom’s mom cried so many times during the party because her son can’t attend his big day, he is a doctor ,lives and taking his Msc in England, his doctor parents are worried about the bride visa, for how long they might live separated during their honeymoon or more further!!!!.
my people are suffering in every life field, specially the educated citizens, the government that is supported by AMERICA, trying to spread and encourage the backwardness . many strange idolatrous rituals, appeared in my country, we didn’t know before AMERICA’S liberation ,wonder if this is the brighten future that America brought us!!!!.the government allow those who weep the thousand years gone imams, in the streets, and also stop the traffic and close the roads for them. not just that but also make curfew in the capital Baghdad for the weepers safety. ignoring all the citizens life matters, business, and the country financial losses , due to paralyzing all life issues , to weep. leaving the country reconstruction, and instead steeling and straying it’s wealth.
What shall I do, where shall I go? I want a better life for my children, they deserve to live in peace, and to get good education, they deserve to have fun , and enjoy their live, they deserve to live the recent century , and not live in the darkness without electricity ,and in the backwardness without knowledge. but leaving my country, my friends and family is not what I want. I can’t.
When I was in Baghdad I saw only the eldest family members , friends, and neighbors. No young cousins nor friends, they all left for safer places. it was hard to see that ,because life is tough for those senescent ,my dad for example has to bring fuel to the generator and stay for hours in the queue , or buy it from the black market in high prices. he has to maintain the generators many times as they almost depend on them with the absence of electricity most of the day. he has to do shopping and drive to work in a very chaotic and dangerous roads. He is supposed to be retired, in this age .but has to work as life is very expensive. and his pensionary salary is low. although he is an engineer ,with Msc from USA,and served the country along his life with honesty .
Mama..

Amnesia

2008-07-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

Summer started; the hot weather is back again, with no electricity all night long and most of the day. It's very hard to sleep sweated with difficult breathing. two weeks ago and after a sizzling night I woke up with bad spasm in my neck, and pain in all my body. I went to work very tired and found it difficult to concentrate,I had to re-write the patient prescription many times and ask the patient to repeat his complains and symptoms .then at the end of the day I had hypotention,and took the next day off.
I dislike laziness and like to be active, but I can’t bear the hot weather. Now and after two weeks in July I feel even worse ,I forget things ,can’t give attention ,and very much feel anomalous in managing things. I started to wonder what’s happening ,and looking in the internet about amnesia ‘s causes. I found that it happen in young people if they are worried, going through fearful life or situation, need to sleep well, if they have depression. and in anemic patients. I now know the causes and I have them all.
I believe those who are behind depriving the Iraqis from electricity very much know it ‘s effect on people, and want them to be tired and dizzy, without thinking about what’s happening around, and so America and our government can steal the Iraqis ‘ wealth and quibble with their future.
Take care and Sleep well
Mama

There was no Baghdad..

2008-07-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

I went to visit my parents in Baghdad, I did not see them since December . I felt really depress and homesick so I decided to make them a visit with my kids and two dentists friends. The road was secured by 85 check points ,they were polite ,although they asked very stupid questions “where are you coming from?, where are you going?, do you have weapons in your car?”. I wonder why do they expect armed men to admit their direction, intention, and belongings?!!!!!.
Anyway when we reached Baghdad, the streets were crowded, the driver switched off the A.C ,the kids were exhausted. the very first sight that upset me and filled my eyes with tears , was the large no. of beggars in the streets, they were old women under the burning sun , with four or five years old skinny kids.
I reached home, the electricity was off, the generators’ noises were everywhere, my mom came out to welcome us, she was very happy, and took the kids into her arms ,while I was bringing my bags.
Along my staying in Baghdad ,I was watching what is happening there, the roads are walled with concrete walls hiding from view; the stores. the only thing every one sees is concrete walls, all streets look the same. it was frustrating , to see my beloved Baghdad like that.
What the government is doing to rebuilt Baghdad is taking care of the side walks ,and importing it’s tiles from Iran and Turkey, leaving the roads unpaved, and very badly damaged , the country is without electricity, but the government imported street lights with sun cells to power it by the sun power , they simply don’t understand the pollution problem that will interfere with the sun cells performance.
It was very obvious that the people are very tired from the situation, the lack of electricity, lack of fuel, the costliness ,and the loss of hope. the No. of people leaving Iraq is greater than ever. I had to farewell a very dear family, I felt that Baghdad is not the same and it's empty. I missed it's lineament, and missed the very large No. of friends , neighbors and relatives who either left abroad or dead.
I swear that I needed to scream from anger many times, but who will listen and care!!
Mama

Driving in my country

2008-06-16T10:28:00.001-07:00

Imagine a crowded street with no traffic lights ,without (or almost without) traffic police ,even when there is a policeman he has no power though no control on the drivers. Imagine that the roads can be closed suddenly, others are crowded ,with wrong side coming and going cars .Sometimes Hamars or tanks with continuous horns’ sounds. craziness all the time , fear of accidents , explosions ,shooting, and car bombs .
That’s exactly what you can see a live in my country’s streets .
Over and above , the no. of the cars is more than the roads can assimilate.. that’s why I don’t drive . It is so scary ,the driver need to be completely concentrating ,on all directions ,must stay calm and endure humiliation from others for no reason.
my sister drives in Dubai. my mom used to drive in Baghdad but not any more.
I have to look for some one to drive me all the time.
Enjoy driving in your country and obey it’s rules.
Mama

Um al-rabeain..

2008-06-01T04:18:00.001-07:00

Hi there ,
Um al-rabeain is the name of the new operation in Mosul to clear it from al Qieda .it started with 5 days curfew ,we remained stuck at home

We spent the time doing different things but still the time was so long .
I myself started to read Bremer”s book about his one year stay in Iraq, I played music a lot on my keyboard , did some house work like cleaning the windows, spent some time chatting with my family and wrote some posts and articles.
yoyo like to play in the garden but I keep worry about him it’s not safe even in our own garden, but my boy hate to stay all the time in our small apartment .he want to run ,play with his ball, and bicycle .
Mariam’s exams were postponed .she is upset because of that, she want her summer holiday to start .but she is ok,spent her time playing with Yosif ,doing some beautiful hand made work, she is also fond of puzzles, and spend time doing wonderful templets.
my husband and his dad did some house repairs ,he also like to listen to the news a lot and to watch TV .specially action movies that I hate.
My mother in law is so scared and worry a lot she spend most of her time listening to the news which I personally don’t trust.
Sunshine is studying for the next year . she like to spend time with the computer, watching certain TV shows ,helping me in the house work ,and some times cooking delicious meals.
I think most of us gain some extra weight because we eat when we get bored ,specially in the long afternoons.
After a three weeks of um alrabeain we can see the difference in the security situation although not all the time .
Our house was inspected three times during the first week of the new operation. but the soldiers were polite and only checked our identities and our house and cars’ papers. with very quick look on part of the house at each time.
About Bremer’s book that I am reading ,it helped me a lot in treating my hypotension ,but I try to read a little and when my blood pressure raise and have flushing face, I stop to listen to music or play music myself, to calm down . he wrote to the world about leaving his paradise to come to our hell to rescue us. any way it’s too early to judge his book after reading 50 pages out of 496.may Allah help me to read more pages without having a stroke.
Mama

Someone should care ..

2008-05-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

Hi there
This is what new born Iraqi infants inhale immediately after birth, this view is 6 meters away from the delivery hospital .although it could be replaced by nice river view as the river is directly behind the garbage, but who cares. ?! the government? the Americans ? the hospital’s staff?. None.

Mama

it is all about trust

The old day may come back ...

2008-05-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

Hi
We had good celebrations this month ,we celebrated my 37th birthday, went to 2 picnics with my work mates and lately we celebrated Yosif 4th birthday.
My kids really had fun specially in Kurdistan, in the northern part of Iraq, with 44 doctors ,dentists and some families. They saw brilliant views ,enjoyed lovely weather and accompanied the most amazing Iraqis who made the journey interesting, fun and showed us how Iraqis have the spirit of entertaining.
my work mates are from different Iraqi cities but all are great in generosity, manners, kindness ,and companionship.
We enjoyed every single moment, even the bus driving times ,the views were gorgeous and everyone was singing, with so many laughter , I had the old feelings back when I used to live in Baghdad ,where laughter and fun is the character of it’s people unlike the life in Mosul where life is taken more seriously. I felt like I am among a big family ,everyone loved everyone, all were helpful, amusing ,and cheery.
Peace is an amazing feeling we went through ,my kids were walking ,playing and running away from us with out scare .they saw people dancing in the bus ,casino, street and enjoyed the sound of music and beautiful Iraqi songs instead of shootings and explosions’ sounds.they saw how Iraqis are alike and are harmonious unlike what the media reveal that Iraqis are fighting each other.
Seeing Yosif and Mariam in the dream city for the first time made me blissful, they were having the best time they ever had.it was the first time I see my husband singing and patting ,so calm and accommodating. seeing my family In such happiness gave me hope that the old days may come back soon.

Mama

Iraqi children have no rights ......

2008-04-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

Every day early in the morning ,in my way to work I pass by a building under construction, what amaze me is the no. of children that work among the builder staff ,they are so young for work and specially such a hard and dangerous work. it sadden me every day. they must be the breadwinner for their families to leave their schools .
of course those workers have no social assuredness ,it’s against the international institute for child rights and development. We are supposed to be one of the richest countries and so many children have no rights ,why? we are so much different than other Arabian gulf states!!!!!!
Mama

Reasons why Iraqis leave their houses

2008-04-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

There are many reasons to make Iraqis leave there own houses.
just try to imagine leaving your own house suddenly.
Raffi's family left home because every corner reminds them about their loss ,and induce pain . they see Raffi in his room ,on his chair, every where causes grief for them. they left their memories and their own house behind them and rent another house.
Others may leave their house for the same reason or because of danger either direct threatening, or dangerous neighborhood.
Sometimes the terrorists captivate the house and it's owners, so in any chance, they leave to stay alive.
In the other hand the military forces may hide in citizens house’s to watch the surrounding areas or to make an ambush for someone hiding nearby.
Some may leave the country or their town to look for a job or to work safely without blackmail..
But the American government and president Bush talk about their big achievements in my country, where we find nothing but fear ,losses, pain, and threats. no safety , no electricity, no tap water in most of the cities , lack in all kind of services even health services , nothing but the worst schools and education , no jobs, no human rights.
Mama

Raffi

2008-04-05T05:21:00.001-07:00

This is Raffi's sister letter, to you ..

Raffi is the friend we lost ,and I referred to him by "v" in my previous post.

Mama .

"I am an university student in the collage of pharmacy, a daughter of a small and highly educated family, the youngest sister of one single brother and a kind married sister, we live in a city named “ Mosul” in Iraq, in a simple house among kind neighbors ..Being the youngest, my family deal with me in a special manner, and I love them in an incredible manner, specially my brother, we were more than sister and brother, we were close friends, each of us was ready to sacrifice his soul for the other, he was so kind guy, funny, lovely, so faithful, fair, ambitious, had many aspirations also he didn’t hurt anyone even by a word.He was a graduate of computer science collage, of Baghdad university, he changed his job many times due to security circumstances, and he was unable to find a job suitable with his experiences, at last he was working in a shop of so kind people, he loved and respected them a lot, his work place was dangerous but he had to work, to live and arrange his future.As all Iraqis, he was always worry about the worsening situation which was life threatening and danger exists everywhere.On 18/3/2008, I woke up early to go to collage, unlike everyday, I left home without seeing and joking with him, because I was in a hurry.. during his job that day, a car-bomb exploded in his work place area and a metallic splint penetrated his clear and kind heart directly… by this way, I simply lost my only brother who was everything in my life, and till this moment I don’t know why or what was his guilt to die in this young age !When I knew about his death, I didn’t believe, until I saw him in the woody tomb, he was so white, sleeping as angel, also was smiling to me … we kissed him for the last time, and knew he went to heaven, because he was faithful, fair, kind person, also he died as a martyr ..My parents became so weak, simply because they lost oldest and only son who was to held the family name, was to make his own family, was helping my daddy in this life, and was everything for all of us.Sure I was sad too, and I found myself in a hard stance, I didn’t know what to do!! Although all of our neighbors, and friends helped us but it was hard for us . I cried till my tears finished, I became so sorry on all members of my family too, I was very worry about their health, then I started to think logically and found that I am lucky to have a brother in heaven, flying with angels, near our GOD as all innocents people in this world, also I am lucky to be surrounded by true friends, postgraduates, and undergraduates, kind Dr.s who teach me, and helpful people .. also I found that I’ve to be strong to be able to carry my family’s responsibilities, encourage them and fill his place .. not to lose them anymore, I know it is too much for a twenty one years old female, but I’ve no choice, I love my brother a lot, so I am ready to bear anything for him, specially when I know he is in a place where only rare people can join.Since I love him a lot, I decided to write these words as a message to him, telling him that I always wished the best for him and I am ready to do anything I can to tell the world about a person who was a diamond for us and is a candle who will keep to light up my life for ever, giving me hope for future, to make my dreams true, for myself, my family, and for my country , also his souvenirs will live with me every moment in my life and every time I look at the sky and stars (as we always used to do).I want my brother’s story be a simple and direct message to the world, to have attention about those innocent Iraqis who die everyday without guilt and their spirits be stolen suddenly in such way..I ask everyone who reads my words, just to close his eyes for seconds.. feel me .. and imagine the hard life in which Iraqis are living in .. if you do, help us to object this situation in my country, because no one except god has right to take our spirits from us, because it is not fair.. also I ask you to pray for him to make his soul comfort, and his guilt to be forgiven and be happy by hearing your prayers

Yours’ ,

The loyal sister,

Rita Jan Thomas Poushijian. "

2008-04-05T05:21:00.000-07:00

Please God give us solace

2008-03-20T06:05:00.000-07:00

I ‘d been through tough situations again , my husband had to leave his job because of terrorists’ threatening .He lost his 5 years of ministration .This is the second time he lose his job and years of ministration ,previously he lost 15 years ,he feel devastated, he will have no retiring rights .His chance to find new job is almost impossible. That made our life stressed ,made him nervous , and made our future mistful.
Our friends and dearest neighbors lost their only son during car explosion in the middle of the market, he was the sweetest guy I ‘d ever knew. He had charming smile ,loving shy look . He had a big heart full of love and a caring personality. he is the first one who taught Sunshine and I how to use the internet.
Seeing his father, who is a doctor ,in such an overwhelming situation breaks my heart, his mom, sister and grandmother weep and no words can make them feel well again ,makes me feel miserable ,helpless and distressed. seeing Sunshine going through such a painful event is very saddened too.
In addition to the pain of losing him and sharing the deep pain of his family ,I suffer from the fear of losing one of my children in such a horrifying way.
Please pray for ‘V’,may Allah bless his soul and give his family ,friends and all those who adore him the solace…….
Mama

I got my tears back.....

2008-03-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

hi
I used to have my tears easily flow even in happy circumstances, as when a bride enter the reception, or when I see a new born baby among his mom’s arms or sleeping, on meeting my parents after along time parting, even when I talk to them on the phone .but on leaving them tears can’t be controlled.

But since along time I can’t cry even in the most sad circumstances, I feel like my chest is about to explode ,I even asked my doctor but he did not give an explanation, I desperately feel like I want to cry for hours……
Yesterday I talked with sunshine about things bother me so badly, and I cried and talked to her for about two hours ,she is exceptionally wise and really good even better than my psychiatrist , I felt relieved and slept well at night .I hope that I got my tears back.
Mama

We live in uncertainty...

2008-02-16T09:53:00.000-08:00

Hello
In Mosul an important operation against Al-qaida is expected .we all live in uncertainty ,in the last days of sunshine’s exams I lived in a great fear ,that my blood pressure began to swing up and down and after a few emotional situations I went through I had collapse . now I am getting better because she is at home , I feel a little bit relieved. Some regions of Mosul are under curfew that will last several days. we are looking forward for a better and safer life. hopefully this operation will not
harvest innocents ,and only criminals and contumacious will be trapped.
Sunshine birthday party was postponed ,Miriam shared her birthday party yesterday with only 3 girls ,live in our neighborhood but their parents did not allow them to stay for long , her party went too fast ,but she enjoyed it any way.
Mama

New Iraqi blogger

2008-01-25T09:04:00.000-08:00

A new Iraqi blogger started blogging ,I am honoured to know him personaly and I want to welcome him in the blog world.
Mama

More about us....

2008-01-25T08:03:00.000-08:00

The day before yesterday at 4:30 pm a building exploded in a nearby neighborhood ,our house was quaked without any damages , the windows’ handles were opened so they only clapped strongly .
while we were checking the house immediately after the explosion we saw a huge orange cloud over the area of the blast .I had never been scared the way I felt ,I quickly picked up the phone to call a doctor friend to see what should we do if this explosion happened due to some chemical blast , and to inform me if there were any measures we should follow to avoid suffocation or any other symptoms ,but there were no phone services (out of coverage).
I gave my children wet towels to put it on their noses, and we began to close the windows tightly. Then we saw in the Mosul local TV channel ,that the explosion had no chemical damages but the tragedy took so many innocent souls . 50 houses and 200 store shops were destroyed .147 injured ,and 39 died with so many bodies are still under the debris.
Next day my husband ,my uncle and I went to work ,but my daughters didn’t go to their schools . as I work near the main hospital , the forensic office and the emergency hospital you can imagine how my day was.
As soon as I entered my room ,I saw my mate wearing black .with teary eyes she said they murdered my dear uncle in front of his 19 years old daughter and his two little boys. He was a prophesier had his degree from UK .
She started to talk about the funeral and how the explosion damaged her parents’ house and her sister’s . her sisters’ 4 children and husband were injured while she was in the funeral.
After the tragedy the roads and the bridges were blocked and the mother couldn’t make it and reach her injured family,, she even could not call them and know how serious their injuries were until the next day.
While we were talking, her injured brother in law came to seek for her help, because his 13 years old daughter did not get help yet in the crowded emergency room .the girl had deep long injury on her lovely face and wasn’t sutured yet. my friend went with them to look for a doctor that can aid.
Just then my boss came and asked every one to go home because he had received a notice about a hasty stroll ban. My driver could not take me home because of the locked roads ,I had to go home walking among the soldiers and their shootings in the air ( the Iraqi way to inform people about blocked roads).
When my friend left the emergency room , she couldn’t reach her home as it was across the bridge ,and had to sleep in her parents house .her mother wasn’t their because she was in her dead brother’s house to receive the comforters. her husband also couldn’t reach home or his sad wife at her parents house.
My husband had to pass the river with a launch to the other strand , then walked to the house, he walked over 15 kilometer. my uncle (father in law) walked over 7 kilometers ,he is 70 years old.
Mama

They were not experts!!

2008-01-19T08:56:00.000-08:00

In the last several cold days, we had to live without electricity at all. In such circumstances my children were studying and going to school . it was hard cold dark nights for them but they don’t have any choice, but to survive and go on .
at one of those dark cold nights we were informed by one of the neighbors that at 9 o’clock their will be an explosion ,he said the American soldiers were trying to destroy the residue of the near bridge which was previously destroyed by terrorists through exploding two cars in addition to decoying the bridge it self, at that time our house was badly damaged and we were lucky to live to tell the tale.
we opened our windows and took cover in the freezing corridor, we waited from 8:20 pm till 10 pm and nothing happened, my little boy yosif slept after long time of sitting on the torch light alone in such coldness then felt to sleep. I decided to take a risk and put my boy in his bed( it’s besides mine), “we can’t bear the cold for ever “I said,.
at 11pm a very loud explosion opened the bedroom’s windows ,we also heard the windows breaking down ,the very cold bluster carried dusts into inside.
Miriam who was just falling asleep started screaming. I laid over my son and my husband ran through the darkness to Miriam . then we checked everyone and the rest of the house. we had some damages in the windows ,but luckily not in the bed rooms.
we decided to go back to bed and sweep the shrapnel’s and start to fix the damages early in the morning. But a louder explosion at 12 in the midnight terrified us and caused more damages to the windows and doors leaving the house so cold, dirty and leaving us astonished.
Next day my daughters had to go to attend their exams after a horrible night ,my husband had to go to work too, but I took the day off and stayed home to try to clean in spite of the frostiness and the tiredness. When my husband returned home he told me that those soldiers were not experts and nothing happened to the bridge residue, only the neighborhood houses were damaged!!!!!!!!!!.
Mama

I went home

2008-01-08T09:28:00.000-08:00

Hi
I visited Baghdad after two years of parting from my parents ,family members and friends .I was patient along the long tiring road ,unlike Mariam ,my little daughter, who had travel sickness, and my little son yosif, who got bored and started to cry and bothering Mariam and his father Who was all the time cursing the troops and every one close the road ,we spend 10 hours driving in unpaved roads slowly, we used to reach Baghdad in 4 hours in easy driving, but things changed dramatically.
My husband was so angry and not helping at all in such difficult road ,but friends of mine kept calling me and sending me SMS, praying for me and gratifying me through that time.
In Baghdad ,I saw my family, friends, neighbors and enjoyed Eid very much. We also participated in celebrating Christmas with some Christian friends .we had wonderful time the situation in Baghdad is better ,the streets are cleaner and safer. hope that things will continue improving .
On the next day we arrived to Baghdad I really wanted to walk along my parents neighborhood alone, I had lovely memories I wanted to remember ,but sunshine joined me ,I think she didn’t feel comfortable to the idea of my walking alone , as well as she needed some fun too .anyway I had a great feeling of being home again . I wished to stay there forever…..
Days past very fast ,we were invited to many relatives houses ,we recreated many Iraqi famous dishes…but along that time I had a mixed feelings of happiness , fear from the coming, and sadness from leaving soon………..
Mama

we need a wake up call

2007-12-07T07:15:00.001-08:00

Hello
even before I get ill ,I think a lot about the types of medications in the Iraqi markets, I asked pharmacists about the sources and prices of the medications and if there is quality control and of course the answer was NO.
The medications are imported by traders without any monitoring by the government ,as those traders need financial profit, you can expect the quality and the unguaranteed sources.
In general the resources are from India ,Syria, Jordan, Egypt, China ,and from UAE.
There are other resources like German and other Europeans . Many Iraqis are in bad economic condition , therefore they look for low priced medicine .
Here are some examples of the drugs’ sources and prices:
Indian antibiotics( capsule) ….750 ID
UAE antibiotics(capsule)…...1250 ID
Egyptian antibiotic syrup……1250 ID
Uae antibiotic syrup……….. 2500 ID
Indian Paracetamol tablets......125 ID
German paracetamol tablets …125 ID
Iraqi paracetamol tables …….250 ID( good quality)
Syrian panadol extra (24tab)……….500 ID
Jordanian panadol extra(24tab) …..750 ID
PC :$ = 1250 ID
And again you can’t guarantee the source ,the efficacy , the expired date and any information mentioned on the drug and it’s leaflet.
I asked my sister Rose about the prices and resources of medications in Dubai ,where she stays, she mentioned high prices , Iraqis can not afford for such drugs…
she mentioned that she prefer to buy Saudi’s and UAE ‘s medicines because it’s low-priced, as there are quality control you don’t look for the drug of higher price cause you can get effective drug any way.
Irish Panadol tablets (48 tab) …9 dirham(=2.465$)
German Actifed serup ……… 17dirham( = 4.65$)
Swiss Cough depressant serup…15dirham(=4.109$)
Antibiotics in general are expensive their price range between 40-45 dirham (=10.958-12.328$)
Flagyl serup………… 21dirham (=5.753$)
Mama

I need some one to listen attentively

2007-11-24T06:10:00.000-08:00

Hi
After being ill for about two weeks, I feel nervous all the time as I stopped taking antidepressant medications after withdrawal schedule ,I like to laugh and tell jokes specially at work but in fact I feel very much angry ,anxious and deeply sad. I feel like I want to shout ,scream so loudly till I make every one pay attention .probably I am getting crazy, or I had enough from being patient and the wise person that live for every one else except my self.
I spent the first 9 days in bed ,in the worse condition ,feeling faintly, then I started to spend hours playing music on my key board and some time knitting macramé, music helped me a lot to avoid the nausea discomfort, and to kill the time…
Mama

I am ill

2007-11-07T22:56:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday I returned from work while I was still on my way home I felt a little bit dizzy and nausea bothered me a little bit ,I remember that I wondered why, because I don't usually complain from motion sickness like Miriam ,my little daughter ,any way I reached home tired and pale. my daughters were invited to birthday party ,I could hardly helped Miriam to get ready and with very much struggle I finished wrapping the gifts .then I went straight to bed and could not leave it till today, even in the three times I had to leave my bed to go to the hospital, I needed help to leave it..
On Friday I suffered from heat flashes ,with upsetting nausea I fainted for more than 15 times, I looked very pale like the dead faces , on Friday and Saturday we couldn't find a doctor , on Saturday I was not any better, with the girls around me crying I was conscious but had no ability to open my eyes or even answer them ,I was half dead.
I remained like that till Sunday without doctor consultation ,on Sunday my husband put me in the car and took me to my work ,left me in the car and went straight to my mate asking for her help ,her cousin and two sisters are doctors, she came with him and took me to the hospital where her cousin works, I was very much dizzy and almost fainted ,he examined me and find out my blood pressure very high,he asked for some blood tests and asked for brain CT- scan ,in the next day my tests revealed normal results, but I am still very tired …I did not faint since Monday but I feel very weak ,I can't stand up for even a short time, I didn't go to work till now…
the differential diagnosis is that I had sever psychological stress and probably hormonal dysfunction or probably a viral infection…
the problem is the country suffer from doctors deficiency, the private hospitals are closed because of threatens by some terrorists ,although the private hospitals are not in good conditions ,they are dirty and don't offer good medical services,many doctors left the country or don’t show up in their own clinics to avoid threatens.
The doctor prescribed some medications for me ,but they are not effective, drugs here are cheap in all standards. I will write a post about medications in Iraq to give you an idea about the bad state of medicines..
Mama

can you help?

2007-10-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

this is the medical report of the injured kid in my previous post:
Medical report
Name : Mustafa A.
Age : 15 years old
Date of admission 4/10/2007

This patient had injuries to the chest and abdomen leading to injuries to lungs and liver laparotomy done and we found liver lacerated in 3 pieces suturing to liver done haemo stasis. Diaphragm also injured in 3 areas, suturing of diaphragm done and tube drain put in side abdomen. Chest tube put inside the chest. Then his condition deteriorated in bile drained to the chest and bile appear in sputum.
Thoracotomy done, cleaning of thoracic cavity putting another chest tube and drain through the diaphragm, over the liver through the abdominal wall exit, now drain in abdomen discharge about 250 ml. of bile and chest tube working. this patient desperately need good medical treatment ,but our hospitals are not capable to offer...this kid's mom want your help,in case there is any organisation can help this child please e-mail me on affectionatemammy@yahoo.com ...
Mama