I'm a Ninja damnit!

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-145605942009-12-11T22:15:14.338-05:00I'm a Ninja damnit!"I do not believe it is the way we start our journey or even the goals we have placed before us which define who we are or will become. I believe that it is the unexpected turns our journey makes and greatest moments of fear and pain which builds in us the character to become more than we could have ever imagined at the start. So this is my journey and my fears; which have made me appreciate the smallest moments of happiness that much more."Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.comBlogger143125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-78504680587395807072009-09-13T15:12:00.002-05:002009-09-13T15:25:10.772-05:00Frozen

I have tried to write this one post so many times it has become frustrating. There are so many thoughts, emotions, memories... everything is just jumbled together. How do I put order to such a random array?I made it out of Kansas (thank God) and am now back in Florida. It is nice to be back, but a lot of the 'magic' that made me love the state seems to be missing. It is either missing, or my

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-65771319946640557712009-06-25T01:52:00.004-05:002009-06-25T02:11:38.089-05:00The comfort of routine

I had a friend ask me recently why I collected so many books, or I think to be more exact, if I was building a library. I found it interesting that I never really stopped to consider why I was doing it, although I knew I had some basic reasons. I find comfort in them, regardless if I pick them up to read or not. I find and value a sense of wisdom that comes before the idea of being '

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-90033241531918580242009-06-15T04:10:00.002-05:002009-06-15T04:26:53.262-05:00Voices

It's been a month, plus some, since my mother passed away. I cannot exactly say how I am doing. I am doing what any one can do, I assume, I am simply moving forward and trying to stay sane despite all the thoughts, questions and hurt.Some days are better than others.I just wish I had a saved voicemail, a letter, a video... something other than pictures to help me remember her. I wish her face

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-11967783980887041472009-05-10T02:30:00.024-05:002009-05-10T04:45:03.676-05:00Don't be dismayed at goodbyes...

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes.A farewell is necessary before meeting again,and meeting again after moments or lifetimes is certain for those who are friends." -- Richard Bach, Illusions. I will never forget when I first read Illusions and Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach; those two books were my shelter at a time when I felt lost and afraid. It seemed to be so full of wisdom and

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-49781918947432372812009-03-27T17:03:00.003-05:002009-03-27T17:20:22.557-05:00There will come a time to conquer

I pride myself on my lack of interest in television. I do not watch it, as a rule, and I very rarely listen to news broadcasts or the radio. Luckily, I have movies, IPod and computerized entertainment to occupy me. When work isn't doing it for me.While I agree, to a limited degree, with the 'ignorance is bliss' mentality - I cannot help but feel a strange sensation of tension when (in that

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-29152842873610049642009-01-29T02:53:00.004-05:002009-01-29T03:52:58.568-05:00I'm starting to feel that's a dangerous formula for the future...

"We're a society of people that want to ignore the bad things and just 'move on.' I feel that's a dangerous formula for the future." It seems the older I become the more interested (obsessed) I am with the past. I've also gained a new found interest in current politics and our economy. As for politics, it is still limited; I do not believe we are a true democracy and I think elections tend to be

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-28888179379033511992009-01-19T04:56:00.004-05:002009-01-19T05:16:02.339-05:00deniager reven si emit

There is nothing more interesting, intoxicating or intriguing than the person who can speak in silence. The path that is held in their eyes or the journey they beg you to take.Who hasn't wanted someone, something, to crave? Something to obsess over. After all, weren't we designed to obsess?So unfortunate that the hand which wipes away our tears is often the one to beat our desires and

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-10209798557456434222008-10-15T16:50:00.002-05:002008-10-15T16:54:20.403-05:00I hate McDonalds, but love Monopoly.

Okay, so I enjoy a good gamble. Men, slots, Ebay and things like McDonalds Monopoly game.I travel all over for work, so I have plenty of time to attack some unhealthy food at MissDonalds.:DSo.. here's the deal.... if you have Boardwalk or Virginia avenue hit a man up and we'll split profits.I tell you this, so you can eat more of the nasty shit and I can just help us share some money.Think of all

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-50065546762457479442008-09-08T06:02:00.005-05:002008-10-07T00:33:00.510-05:00Insomnia

I'm glad that your smile is just an image in my mind I'm not sure it was ever meant for me And I'm glad I'll no longer look in your eyes, for I'm afraid of what they might see. And I'm glad that we won't talk any more, our conversations never went very well.And you won't be the one, I'm so eager to see, when I've good news to tell. Your hand won't be the one I hold, through the bad times and the

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-84945940220201268852008-09-01T21:35:00.004-05:002008-09-01T21:53:51.144-05:00Has God abandoned us?

Today my old-new-boyfriend made a comment about the existence of God. He questioned the truth behind the saying that God does not give us more than we are able to handle, because he is experiencing things that he feels are beyond his own capacity.It reminded me of an experience I had when I was eight years old and which I probably have not remembered in over twenty years. I was outside playing at

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-74172683684172231982008-08-31T16:29:00.003-05:002008-08-31T17:03:45.702-05:00Perfection leaves no room for movement, but a worthless life does not move period.

So recently I decided to add places like manhunt.net and adam4adam.com to my list of sites that I belong to and visit. I won't get into the reasoning behind those two sites, but trust that it wasn't for the plethora of available dick and sloppy ass that comes with it.It was, as I like to call it, for research purposes. Not that I really needed to research what I already knew, but it re-kindled

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-62017794162730377982008-08-27T14:39:00.007-05:002008-08-27T20:48:17.141-05:00What is the nature of man?

"I do not understand what I do... It is no longer I myself who do it, but it is the sin living in me.... For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do --- this I keep on doing..... I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me... I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-7521587527460276022008-05-04T22:05:00.002-05:002008-05-04T22:23:52.618-05:00

CuntFag BitchAss FuckerFaggot Pretentious Whore Liar SlaveIt's really no fun doing a post like this after the Dixie Chicks and their freedom of speech shit. What ever happened to the Dixie Chicks? Are they even around anymore? So much for that freedom of speech, if not.I'm just bored. Sitting here smoking and thinking about the boyfriend or somewhat boyfriend, cause that's become his new title.

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-5402387094574434022008-05-04T01:09:00.003-05:002008-05-04T01:21:02.948-05:00Are you tall enough to ride this ride?

I've been away for some time now. Work has kept me traveling here and there and nowhere you'd really want to be. Unless you're into rednecks from BFE and there is nothing wrong with it if you are. The knee has healed, thanks in part to my boyfriend and anal sex, but I still don't have the full kneeling action restored. I wonder if that puts my gay card in question?Poor kitty, it's hard to

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-56819983972238232622008-05-04T00:53:00.002-05:002008-05-04T01:06:52.731-05:00Just a piece

I've been out on the scene since 15... You've seen me on knees in the alley and you've tasted him on my tongue. I liked the attention and I lived to always throw a curve.I never gave a fuck; where was the next trick to make a show out of? Who would be next? Just a tool to entertain me and in turn entertain you.You hated to like me, but you lived vicariously through me. I was everything you

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-79930779764932524402007-11-06T23:30:00.001-05:002008-08-27T15:16:48.690-05:00

I smoke too many cigarettes and I think too much. Take off on a trip and drink too much. Spend too many hours wondering too many things about what it is or what could have been.Never stop to accept regret because every action has made me who I am. I couldn't stand where I stand or be half the man I am if I hadn't been determined to pave my own path.But I can't help to wonder just where you are -

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-38837404252520573762007-10-22T23:23:00.000-05:002007-10-22T23:28:46.048-05:00When I think of the world today...

I have learned that we are more powerful than we think.That we can overcome pain, loss and emptiness.I have learned that sometimes walking through hell is our only way to reach Heaven.I have learned to have faith, even in the face of complete destruction.

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-25639911758720851782007-10-21T15:25:00.000-05:002007-10-21T15:40:04.448-05:00Well now, that was a dick that I was surprised to be impressed by!

If you're a regular reader and haven't caught on by now - despite my being a little neurotic at times, I am also incredibly sentimental and emotional. Don't let the emotional rumor get out too much, thanks.With all this free time on my hands to be temporarily crippled, I started wondering what happened to people I went to school with. Picking a few names of people that impacted my school years -

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-38164178958838321022007-10-21T15:09:00.000-05:002007-10-21T15:19:56.496-05:00Things we take for granted

I guess you, or I at least, don't take the time to think about how meaningful the things we are able to do on a daily basis are. We fail to see the luxury of walking, talking, running. The amazing blessing of sight or the conscious shifting effects of smell. Unless you live in a nasty city or a farm, then I don't think it's really all that conscious shifting.Since breaking my kneecap, I've come

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-1376487310394138542007-10-16T11:20:00.000-05:002007-10-16T12:23:14.588-05:00Vintage

What's new and exciting in my life? Not a whole hell of a lot. It had gotten hectic for a bit, which is why I stopped blogging as much. Plus, I had run out of the energy to type about the events that were taking place. I had to live them once; typing about them was just too much.It still fascinates me to think that people tune-in to read about my life or my strange thoughts. This has got to be

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-54132694760048150472007-10-16T01:00:00.000-05:002007-10-16T01:29:08.796-05:00Inject me..... with java

I'm boredEntertain meTell me where I belong atHow do I have to act to be like thatWhat do I have to say to be respected like that I'm not going to play thatI don't want to be one of the pretty peopleAnother version of someone elseCast from your moldTo be the toy you likeNot here to please youNot trying to be youGot my own wayMy own thingThere's no life in being the same.

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-33128586773057548282007-10-15T01:56:00.000-05:002007-10-15T02:04:45.146-05:00Wake me up

I've had time to sit and think. To evaluate and re-evaluate my thoughts.I've had time to explore inward.I've had time to open my eyesYou can go through life pretending to not notice, to not see, the pain and suffering of others. You can close your eyes and turn your head. You can close your heart and forget . You can place your hand into your pocket and ignore the damage you've done.You can go

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-70900864747267690492007-08-09T13:47:00.000-05:002007-10-15T02:06:51.146-05:00Another suitcase

So I've purchased my auto-train ticket back to Maryland. I leave on Monday, August 13th at 4:00pm, unless something amazing happens before then. I am not expecting it to and I am not even sure I want it to.Stay, go home, go to Miami... choices, choices, choices...And all I wanted was to get away; it wasn't the first time. I can view this as an extended vacation, a vacation would have sufficed

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-24805031869771631732007-07-24T00:43:00.000-05:002007-08-02T23:43:36.391-05:00Change is coming...

It's been six months since I made the journey from Maryland to Orlando. The time has gone by so quickly; it feels like I only left yesterday.Distance has a funny way of making you forget the things you left behind. I'm sentimental by nature, however and I find myself missing the people and places that I use to know - but it seems to last for only a moment before it's replaced by the action and

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14560594.post-66612099422549505452007-06-28T23:56:00.001-05:002007-06-28T23:56:47.026-05:00Huh? What?

Gabcast! I'm a ninja damnit! #1

Scrappyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08537539665408822075jasonvanhorne@yahoo.com2