The Order of the Crutch

GTA 6 - Dravida Edition

2009-01-12T23:40:00.008+05:30

Yuvipanda and Surajram started this entire stuff. Random bitching about other people bitching on boybands and girlbands. Finally it landed in GTA via michael jackson. I'm just gonna add to more ideas from this perspective.

We've all played Grand Theft Auto and many of us know how famous the GTA 4 version of the game is. Well, what if the next version of GTA was decided to have its roots in tamil nadu? What would game play be like? How would missions compare to the ones in the previous versions where you are the bad guy and do lots of stuff. Lets try and visualize some of them...

Mission #1: Rush through mount road traffic and beat the crowd and get a first day, first show ticket for Rajini padam release in Sri Brindha theatre, madhavaram

Mission #2: Gather 20000 people for a katchi meeting for least amount of money and biriyaani packets and ensure all of them clap every 2 minutes.

Mission #3: Stick aalum katchi posters in ethir katchi area sevuru without getting caught by ethir katchi area pasanga. (maatina dunguvaaru aruthuruvaanga :P)

Mission #4: Drive a two wheeler without helmet after 25th of a month in mount road under the condition that you don't get caught by mama under gemini fly-over or near the SBI, thousand lights branch.

Mission #5: Spend 30 crore rupees in 30 days. You can buy assets, accumulate wealth but only condition is you should not take auto for oor suththifying chennai (this one is tough nuts to crack!)

Mission #6: Drive thanni lorry from Jamalia to padi under the condition you wash the roads by leaking water all along, yet have enough left water so that bubleec does not find out & you dont kill people on the way by running them over.

Mission #7: Skillfully tailgate a speeding ambulance thereby skipping signals and breaking traffic rules at peak hour traffic in the city. Avoid getting crushed by other speeders tailgating you or you yourself manna kavving after getting distracted by matter padam posters on road side sevuru.

Mission #8: Avoid using any of the golden words like "o.", "the...", "poo..", "la..." when speaking with area pasanga in nochikuppam. Minimum conversation duration is about 20 seconds.

Mission #9: Eat maximum number of Bajji's by sandwiching them in between news paper and pressing to skillfully as to not to damage the bajji but extract all oil from it. (Caution: Each ML of oil will reduce life by 2%.) Then sell the left over oil for a good price in a nearby annachi kadai for funding sarakku + side dish that evening in tasmac.

Mission #10: Become a ko pa se for a political party and convince people that your thaleevar first claimed to be the indian obama and so he is definitely the indian obama.

Mission #11: Direct the maximum number of mega serials and use tears collected from thamizh makkal in prime time and store it in retteri and puzhaleri tank. De-salinate and treat the water and use that water to solve tamilnadu water crisis.

Mission #12: Collect mammool from everyone in town and divert funds recieved to all poly tasions in thamizh nadu. Distribute funds in direct proportion to measurement of pregnant pot bellys of ettu. Earn commision in this process.

Limited Edition CD Bonus Missions:

Bonus Mission #13: Build as many road side temples as possible and vasool pannify from them undiyals as much as you can. Start a TV channel with such money made through instant platform kovils.

Bonus Mission #14: Telecast useless dance programs, "manam thirandhu pesugiraar, vijay" kind of interviews, skewed news giving head count on ethir katchi thaleevars samsaaram and other mini minsaarams that he has. Use this popularity to contest and win elections or better collect nivaarana nidhi for a calamity that does not exist.

Thats it for now folks, if you have more though, please feel free to add it in the comments section.

To babe or not to babe?!

2009-01-05T11:08:00.005+05:30

A very interesting conversation came up today on twitter. I came across this person a few days or perhaps a week back and her blog and her work. Today morning there was a tweet from her about her work being reviewed on a website. Eagerly i went on to read the review and i found the following line in the review, well actually that was the title of the review.

"two chio Asian babes and their travels around the world"

I liked the review but then i was disappointed with the way it was named. After an exchange with another friend of mine and thinking over it, im in a situation i often am in. Confused!

The point is this. The usage of the word "babes". I think its not a necessary word to use. We are talking about a persons travel, the work he/she does and his/her contribution to society/art etc.,

Why in the world would i want to even know what gender he/she is? Its about the WORK and not about the physical attributes of the PERSON that you want to talk about. Yes, the person doing the work is equally important but then you aren't reviewing the person. You are reviewing the work? aren't you?

While in real life the women who did the travel and shot the videos may be hot chicks or as refereed to babes, its okay for a friend or a relative to refer to them both as babes for fun. Its probably okay for the men to talk behind her back when she walks around the mall or on the roads that she is a babe but for a media outlet to portray the babe in someone when reviewing their work does not sound normal to me.

I understand that babe can also be intended as a compliment and in fact in this case it might be too, i could never tell. What im not understanding is how long will we paint the woman = babe colors in our society? I find it rather a bit too stereo-typing all young attractive women. What if the woman did not create the work of art that was reviewed to be called a babe, what if she did it to be recognized as a photographer or a freelancing journalist? Is babe the word to use?

I recollect Richard Dawkins talking about feminists raising our awareness about us using male specific or male appeasing terminologies in daily life like "mankind" and "man made" when "human kind" or "human made" is perfectly acceptable and gender neutral a term.

In my personal opinion, i found the work very simplistic, to the point and very personally intimate without commercial journalism wrapped around it. I liked it.

So my question still is babe? Was babe a qualifier or babe an element of jazz that adds sparkle to the work? it don't great but if it did, why?

I would probably never know.

Viruthu Kudthukeeraango mamey!

2009-01-03T23:07:00.003+05:30

Ithnaala inna sollikkaradhu'nna nammalaanda vandhu, nee periya pishthu, nee sama bejaru, onnanda morchigina nee kazhatiduva ethiriyoda nijaru... nee vaangara DVD ellam vikkara edam burma bajaaru appadinnu koovi nammalaanda sokkaliya oru award'u kudthukkeraango.

Award kudtha sokkali inthamma thaan. ivango sama thool takkar madam'u. ivangalaanda friendshipp'a irundhiyaana ella thalivar padathukkum ticket ushaar panni tharauvaango, avvalo periya pulli ivango.

okay, matter'kku varuvom. What we do with this awardu? We are told we write something'u about ourselves.

Phaemilie:

We consider one and all to be family. But the jantha i share the house with is naina, aththa and my thambi who is my thuru pudicha irumbukkambi :P We keep family out of all our blog posts because we always write dangerous shit on blog which gets us lots of death threats on calls and emails. Now we don’t want the jantha at home to freak out, do we? So lets leave it at that.

Friends:

Where do i start with? I have a huge circle, i cant start counting and stop. However, there are a few precious ones. There is this post about my best friend. Then there is this one, who is the famous dilip model on flickr.

Me:

I decided to write an auto biography, so if you want to to know everything that ever happened in my life then you should start with here, here and here, that would be a great start.

My Love:

Hmm, boy likes girl. Girl shows signs, boy thinks he may get lucky. Girl marries a rich NRI that has sottai. End of story, i think this has happened so many times i even stopped keeping a count. That's pretty much it. Itha ezhuthi vera tholaikkanuma?

Likes:

Science has always fascinated me, always. Gadget freak, i blow pretty much all of my paycheck on stuff that can do cool stuff. Photography is a great turn on for the past few years, i pretty much carry the SLR bodies and lenses everywhere. I can talk, non-stop. No exaggerations on this one.

As for posts, i think i personally like these posts of mine better.

The Excuse
Immanuel is a Pundai
#5, Sankara Madam St - Chapter#1(Memoirs of Desikachari Thaaththa and Kanakavalli Paatty)

Nominations:

Whom do i nominate? My job is easier done than said. Here is the list...

Aravind Kumar a.k.a The Psuedonym - Blogger, photographer and a wonderful friend.
Srivatsan - Blogger, photographer and excellent water company. Raj Palace vaazhga!
Coconut Chutney - Awesome read, fantastic blog.
Rage & Placidity - Wonderful blog by my friend prahalaathan.

#5, Sankara Madam St - Chapter #1 - Jason Doctor

2008-12-22T14:07:00.002+05:30

I did a lot of things that required a doctor's visit all of the time. Of course, being physically challenged means all the more useless doctor's visits. Cerebral palsy is incurable, but that did not prevent my parents from trying. They tried real hard too. Yunani, Homeopathy, Allopathy and of course the ganapathy who resided on pavements all over the place.

Homeopathy docs did what they did, take the money and bullshit around. So did yunani. English medicine docs did some nice stuff. Made some considerable improvements to the way i walked and made my day better, however they did not predict the usual stuff that happens to cerebral palsy patients everyday and here i'm waiting for the d-day. Nevertheless, speaking of doctor's reminds me of the very first doctor i saw in life.

Our family doctor, jason. Jason was the typical christian convert. Tall, dark, handsome and smart a doctor. However what made him so special was his medicines. Not only was his injections utterly painless but his medicines had something about them. I'm fairly convinced he believed that the disease must be fought from the inside. So whatever evil is inside, if it comes outside then the problem is outside of your body too?

I should have known better. His pills were usually huge. They were like the size of a jackfruit and somehow they always were stuck in your damn throat and made you throw up. Of course, the smell of it was so horrendous, you threw up even before you swallowed one. One thing though, the moment you threw up you felt better. The only drug that he prescribed often and that i liked was betnesol. Why? Because they were small tasty tablets and chewable.

You could take them to school, swallow one in front of the kids and tell them you are sick. Every enthu pattani kids will yell to the teacher, "miss, dilip is sick miss...!!!!" and the teacher would send me to the biology lab to take rest.

I would then lie in the biology lab and peep through holes in my hands/fingers that cover my face and live in the fantasy land of science and anatomy for the rest of the day. All class bunked, excused from homework, what else would one want as a school kid?

Dr. Jason unfortunately went to the United States. I assume his excellent interaction skills and wonderful professionalism took him places. Sometimes i just wonder what would have happened to me without Dr. Jason's betnesol. Wherever you're doctor, my well wishes are with you. Anything to escape that bloody math class. Who gives a shit about least common multiplier and highest common factor? yuck!!!

Rantaholic

2008-11-26T12:05:00.005+05:30

Yes, that's me. It's 100% true and there is no denying it. I complain about a lot of things. I don't bullshit but i complain. The last time i checked, if you are telling the truth i find that complaining is not a criminal offense in the Indian constitution is it a problem as per the Indian Penal code.

I complain about a lot of things that a lot of Indians complain about. Bad roads, a political system that does not work, tax money not being used for what it is intended, the law and order system that hardly exists and the lethargic attitude of Indians across the nation.

Before you brand me as a country brute and someone who brings disgrace to India and not being patriotic you should listen to my point of view, or alt east that's what i assume is fair?

Statutory Warning: This post merely states facts. It is not about boasting what great things i do or what a pitiful and sorrowful life i live. Neither do i need the applause, nor the sympathy of any living grain on earth. I've been on my own and i think if i've managed to survive for the past 27 years, i think i can carry on for a few more years on my own.

Unlike other "normal" people who have the time in their hands i do not have time on my hands. I suffer from a post arthritic condition caused by a dislocated hip. In plain words this means my thigh bone may come off anytime now (it's barely clinging on to my non existing hip socket) and when that happpens, i may A. if lucky die of pain & shock or B. be bed ridden for the rest of my life and have someone wash my ass for a daily chore (which i do not opt for) and i'd rather die peacefully and have things in place to take myself out, if option B happens.

So, because my time is short i see how precious life is and how i cannot afford to fool around and waste my time. I know i have only one life. Some may disagree and talk about re-incarnation and next birth, i request such hallucinated people to stay away from me. I've already been sold that and i trashed such nonsense long ago. Back on topic, i realize that we are not going anywhere as a nation unless and until there is a radical change in our attitude. I want to see change before i die, i fear that i may not for most valid reasons.

So if i can't see and be the change, what the fuck is my life worth living for? I might rather die right now, get the point?

Every problem needs acknowledgement first that it is indeed a problem. Calling out terms like "India is a Great Country" to sound like a nice guy and be politically correct all the time and saying things like "Unity in diversity" kind of bullshit is in my personal opinion is 'Spineless'. It may help you score more marks in school and be known as the nice guy amogst the girls but it will not get our society anywhere positive a place. We have bad roads, why don't we acknowledge we have bad roads? We have democracy that does not work and a law and order situation which is skewed. We also have religious bigots who control the political situation, why know just accept facts as they are?

We know we are not "Unity in diversity" when it comes to issues of the society. Don't give me that Italian Sonia psuedo prime minister, backward class president for Prathiba patil, christian ex defence minister et all. They came to power because they had the backing of their community and the money to do it. I come from a brahmin family. Getting my folks to vote for anyone other than the "brahminic jayalalitha" would be close to impossible. I'm damn sure it is the case for every other community and family too.

Unless you complain everybody assumes that everything is fine. Unless and until stated things wont be done. This is the basis of communication, it applies to every aspect of life. Home, work, health etc., If people decided to shut up and do nothing about the schmidt memorial this would not have happened. People complained like hell and then they got tired of complaining and started to do something about it. If you are in school and you are being bullied, you either gotta speak to your teacher or you speak to your parents. If you dont communicate you better learn karate to kick your bullies ass, otherwise sit in a corner and cry and make yourself mad. That is life, simple & plain like vanilla ice cream.

Lastly, i complain because i care. Unlike most indian middle class who have the "on top of the cow urine passing" attitude i fail to take no for an answer or for that matter any excuse that is invalid. I'm okay with paying tax as long as tax money is being used for the common good. I don't stop with complaining, i act too. I work for a few things that i believe need radical change. For example, i work for transgender issues which i think needs addressing. I also work hard to address the bullshit god and religion has managed to loathe all these years and pull people out of the spiritual hallucinations that they are into all the time and make them see a little bit of reality in life.

When i take the pains to book a ticket in a train i fail to accept "please adjust" as an excuse in a reserved compartment. I fail to understand why i need to pay Rs. 100 to the guy who pushes my wheel chair in the airport everytime i come from overseas, when he is already paid to do the job. I fail to understand why i need to bribe someone to do their duty. Usually i find bribe as something to make someone do illegal or something that they are not supposed to do but only in my country do i see bribe as a means to get legal things done.

I feel responsible that im also a direct cause of all the problems. If i fail to acknowledge, if i fail to revolt, if i fail to speak against, if i fail to COMPLAIN then things will not change. Had we not complained when the british were ruling our ass we would still be a british colony. We complained and we never stopped which is why we are "India" now.

So the next time someone complains how shitty things are around them there are only two things you need to look out for.

1. Is there fact/truth in the complaint
2. Is there a validity in complaining, can influence and we at all make a difference.

So here is my 2 cents, i encourage all indians to complain, if possible go get a Ph.D on complaining and do it the expert way.

A day in Daksha's Life

2008-11-13T20:55:00.001+05:30

Daksha is my best'est friend. Let me introduce you to a wonderful day, a typical hour to minute affair in her wonderful life...

NOTE: Please view all links found here to get the complete picture.

0630: Daksha wakes up and finds fly on the Sevuru of her bedroom. She takes a pic of it. Fly does not fly away and Daksha yells "yay" in excitement. Unfortunately she has not brushed (in 4 days) and fly falls dead on the floor instantaneously. Neighboring fly was admitted as trauma case and is still fighting for its life in ICU.

0730: Daksha goes to shower but finds it too cumbersome so douzes off some more spinz deo on herself and says "there is always tomorrow and there is always hope for those who believe".

0830: Daksha is driving on the road and paper flowers and firangipani are on the road. She takes a pic of paper flowers and uploads it to flickr and names it "Chintha Poovu" and the Frangipani upload as "Bentha Poovu" in her mind. :D

1030: Daksha pings people on google chat "ooi, enna pannara" (which is usually the unfortunate me) and regardless of the reply you give her response is "im bored!!!". Any further conversation will result in a response "Hmmm.." from her. (hmm.. idhukkaaga naanga enna cabre dance'a ada mudiyum ivanga office'kku vandhu). She finally uploads a pic called "bored" and kills her boredom, phew.. thappichchomda sami.

1230: "ooi enna pannare" continues one more time again and i say "im goin out for lunch" and she again responds "im bored"... to which i standardly respond "wanna join me for lunch?" to which she sighs, "sir will not allow..."

0230: Daksha pings me on gmail chat again and ironically asks "are you jobless? you are always on chat all the time?" to which i respond "i work from home"... daksha does not agree... she wins... im certified jobless.. sattire is an aspect of life, i understand that much.. and so can you never win arguing with women, which is also a universal truth :-(

0330: Daksha teaches her flickr audience some arithmetic. She uploads this

0530: Daksha leaves for home, she stops by the road again to take pics of flowers but she runs over the flower she took a pic of in the morning with her car and kills it. She takes a pic of the dead flower, uploads to flickr and calls it "sithu boolnu" and sudhamshu is happy he can get that tulu part of it finally!

0630: SMS from daksha "u wrote that stupid blog about me you idiot! next time i see you i will slap you!!!"

0635: Dilip turns off comp and cell phone and hides under the sheets and prays for dear life, yeah right! :D

Share this post :

#5, Sankara Madam St - Chapter #1

2008-10-29T01:38:00.001+05:30

Memoirs of Desikachari Thaaththa and Kanakavalli Paatty

Continuing off the last post i start the story of my life with the first chapter.

As vaguely as i remember, my kollu paatty considered me as a re-incarnation of kollu thaaththa. Why? because i was born on the same thidhi as his thavasam comes, same natchathram and of course it seems apparently i had a line on my forehead like a thirunaamam that kollu thaththa would wear. Desikachari thaatha was my fathers, grandfather. His wife died and he re-married my kollu patty who did not have any kids with him. Possibly why kanakavalli paatty considered me to be more like her son than a grandson.

Desikachari thaththa was notoriously famous for his temper and arrogance and charisma, so was i, doubting the charisma part alone. I've never seen kollu thaththa but only kollu paatty. I've been told stories about kollu thaththa so much by family members i dont miss not seeing him, i have his picture and every event engraved in the form of stories in my mind for eternity. I was told how rich a family we were and the palace like house we owned in sabapathi street next to sembithamman kovil, before we sold it to marry out aunt's. Thaaththa owned a bus service in ooty and our family people would arrogantly get on it and not buy a ticket and quarrel with the bus conductor. After 30 minutes of hassling they would reveal they were "owners" of the transport company to make the conductor pee his pants and salute adchify with a "saari saaar!" dialogue.

I was also told how thaatha knew every mesthiri and carpenter in town and addressed them derogatorily as "sudran" and called them as "dei thevdiya maa, inga va da, idha pannu da" kind of authority and they would tremble in fear at kollu thaaththa. I was also told after all the work done how kollu thaaththa would give the mesthiri or the carpenter twice the money he asked for or deserved, also buy him tiffin and tea/coffee from a nearby iyengar's hotel. I was told how big a turban kollu thaaththa wore and how he was 7 foot tall and commanded respect from every person on the street and folks hushed "periya iyer'u varaaru" and wished him good morning/afternoon/evening when he walked by. He always walked, he never drove a vehicle and he always used the bus, railways and tram.

Kollu paatty considered me to be her world, probably. She could not call me 'Dilip' and she called me 'dilli' which sounded more like 'delhi' with a i instead of the e. She was very aachaaram and cooked for herself in her small kitchen and room dedicated to her which had a separate door too perpendicular to the main entrance door. She would ask me every morning which i distinctly remember "dilli, enna da samayal pannattum?" and i would blurt off random things from my cherished desires and i would have it in front of me in flat 60 minutes. Kollu patties thaval adai's were an extacy. I swallow a lump down the throat as i think of her, she really made life so much worth living for and how a kid i was and never realized what i had in life. Of course, for evening tiffin again i would command "poori", "chappathi", "dosai" and every possible permutation and combination and i would have it. My brothers plea and my cousin (my widowed aunt's son who lived with us) would sometimes try to intervene and ask for stuff but they never made the promised land to the best of my knowledge.

Finally, i distinctly remember this. All 3 of us, after every nights meal would go to kollu paatty and i was always first to be served in the line. Paatty would have a huge, yellow colour green leave's designed "Dabur Chavanyaprash" bottle. She would take some ayurvedic white powder which tastes like menthol. This powder she purchased for herself and just for me. It was some sort of protien or immunity booster or whatever. My bro and cousin got just the teaspoonful of chavanyaprash while i got the nice tasting powder along with it too and vayathu yerichchala kottified for the other two, every day.

Kanakavalli paaty also had a wonderful bench cum bed which was cool to lay down on. After her demise this was used by the kids in the house as a place to sit and study. Kanakavalli paatty is no more, the house is no more. Dabur chavanyaprash brings them back to life for a brief few seconds every time i see one.

Share this post :

Immanuel is a Pundai

2008-10-27T02:15:00.001+05:30

No, we are not swearing at somebody here. Not certainly me. This post is merely an inspiration from this post. I was tempted to write. Immanuel was our School math teacher during 9th and 10th grade. Immanuel master was special. Why? Because the kids knew how to pass a math exam. He taught tuition classes that costs you Rs. 80 per month and if you went for those classes it means you get a guaranteed 40% and pass the math exam. Not just that, he was sight adchifying the cute 18 year old french teacher, whom most of the kids in the class were sight adchifying too.

Nevertheless the point of this post is not about Mr. Immanuel our math teacher or his sex somersaults but its about toilets. Yes, toilets in the school. Wait, i know you wan't to know what it has to do with the title. Allow me to explain.

"Immanuel is a Pundai" was the most scribbled text in all toilet wall's in the school. Of course, other teachers having sex with weird unexplainable things and being castrated or crucified in horrendous ways were also a vital part of the loo art that you would find in these toilets but Immanuel master topped the hate list followed by our biology teacher susan rajan who was precariously described as slime. Why? Because she was the only person on earth who would eat with her right hand and dissect a cockroach off the left, peel things off it and explain things to students will she munched food in her mouth. Brilliant! Yes, she was!

Of course, we had Miss Sheela Christopher who was our Chemistry teacher. I'm not sure how good her chemistry was but her language was pathetic. She always used to point out to our unruly class leader and yell "munnadi pora yeruma maadu ozhunga ner kodula pona than, pinnadi vara yeruma maadu ellam ozhunga ner kottula nadakkum" and she added "munnala pora yeruma maede seri illa, pinnala vara erumaigalellam enna pannum?". Of course, she was promptly rewarded with fantastic pictures of her riding yeruma maadu's in the nude and also giving birth to a yeruma kannu kutti. Utter genius in artistic expression. I remember winning 4 rangoli competitions in school successively from 7th - 10th grade during the childrens day festival and project days/exhibition. If only the judges visited the toilets to see the art on the wall, i swear i would not have had a chance in the remote possibilities of planet earth.

I studied in a "All Boys" school till 10th grade. The world famous in perambur "St. Mary's Matriculation Boys Higher Secondary School" and all of our school toilets were famous and had so much culture and history as much as our school did. Everyday we failed to do homework and we had to kneel down outside class and the cute french miss walked by laughing at us we would rush to the toilet to draw such weird things of the oppressing teacher of that particular period, what awesome a way it was to take it out on them. It was a fantastic channel because the staff toilet which was close to the staff room was cleaned on an hourly basis and kept well compared to the students toilet which was cleaned only when there was a cholera break out amongst school kids, housed in the classes close to the toilet.

To start with, none of the toilets had doors. Yes, no kidding! Im not talking about urinals where you stand and take a piss, im talking about toilets where you squat. No doors, the school management believed doors were too much of an expense and we were "just kids" and deserved no privacy even while taking a shit. Nevertheless, no sane person in their realistic senses would ever go shit there and most of us never did with one or two of those weirdo kids who found these places habitable. We stayed away from those folks all the time, we knew they were of an elite kind. In fact when a kid goes to the toilet we know of what hard bound stuff they are made of and finally they get elected to be School Pupil Leader (SPL) and Assistant SPL. That was our test, the ultimate one that makes you SPL.

To conclude, i would kindly request we relocate all teaching activity in toilets because i think that is the only place where young boys have the utmost concentration and intense dedication when it comes to doing some work. Look at those drawings, breathtaking! I mean, sometimes i used to see women with so many tits, i could not even count them with my poor math skills. Some sex positions were so impossible, if not innovative, they would beat the crap out of kama sutra. I think what we should have is a public addressable system with isolated toilets with walls to separate each kid. This teacher can speak over the mic and deliver the lecture material via the speakers installed in each kuckoose and you will see the artistic potential of each and every kid revealed to the best possible extent.

I also suggest we fire all these useless old blokes and hire chick 18 year olds as teachers (like our french teacher) and ensure that in this way the students behave themselves and look their best and the teacher has the complete attention and control of the class. I think this is the best formula for any boys school. I hope St. Mary's school is listening.

Share this post :

The Chronicles of Nara...

2008-10-24T23:14:00.003+05:30

Due to excessive pressure and request from Daksha, im posting the image and the story behind these. See this comment here for some background on this. Infact narain endorses these words himself.

மனசுல பெரிய மான்மத் குஞ்சுன்னு நெனப்பு, bleady dawg :P

Vishwa likes peacock feather's much, narain says. This is a posed one thats made to looks like its not been posed at all. Natural things are vishwa's fav.

Thinking of Vishwa, eternal love is special a feeling.... those moments... that voice, those memories....

This is how vishwa hugs you, (kaathal sadu gudu song playing in the background). and your heart goes like mid 80's ilayaraja movie music background... "than thana than thana than thana than thana than thana hey!''

If you wanna get the feel of how this would feel, then watch the video below...

Share this post :

Daks and Sharanya make my day

2008-10-17T16:16:00.001+05:30

Last night, 9 PM - 6 AM today morning i keep working and now wake up at 2 in the afternoon and im so tired and pissed off to do anything but i have so much to do.

Then i logon to flickr and i see these two images from Sharanya and Daksha. This just makes my day.

Thanks Guys. A little bit of happiness is not something i can say no to.

Share this post :

Spiritual but not religious?

2008-10-17T00:27:00.001+05:30

I come across this often in social networking sites. As an atheist / rational person i fail to understand the meaning of this terminology.

No offense but what is spiritual? Spiritual, the world indicates it probably has something to do with the spirit, right? Okay, so lets consider this "Spiritual" word as an adjective and look-up Merriam Webster's. Here is what i got...

spir·i·tu·al; Pronunciation: \ˈspir-i-chə-wəl, -i-chəl, -ich-wəl\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French & Late Latin; Anglo-French espirital, spiritual, from Late Latin spiritualis, from Latin, of breathing, of wind, from spiritus
Date: 14th century

1: of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit : incorporeal <spiritual needs>
2 a: of or relating to sacred matters <spiritual songs> b: ecclesiastical rather than lay or temporal <spiritual authority> <lords spiritual>
3: concerned with religious values
4: related or joined in spirit <our spiritual home> <his spiritual heir>
5 a: of or relating to supernatural beings or phenomena b: of, relating to, or involving spiritualism : spiritualistic

So it looks like im quite right. Something that has to do with the Spirit. I so hate to do this because now we have to find out what the heck a SPIRIT is. So lets look back at Merriam Webster's again. We will look at the first two since we will speak in context of what we are discussing here

spir·it
Pronunciation: \ˈspir-ət\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French or Latin; Anglo-French, espirit, spirit, from Latin spiritus, literally, breath, from spirare to blow, breathe
Date: 13th century

1: an animating or vital principle held to give life to physical organisms
2: a supernatural being or essence: as acapitalized : holy spirit b: soul 2a c: an often malevolent being that is bodiless but can become visible ; specifically : ghost 2 d: a malevolent being that enters and possesses a human being

NOTE: If your definition of spiritual is like the Einstein'ian way of poetically calling nature as spirit then read no more. You have nothing to do with this blog. If your definition of spirit deals with your love for the biological process of evolution then your poetry is welcome, regardless of me agree'ing with it or not. We are not talking about poetic spiritual references, we are dealing with religion and supernatural claims.

So the question is, who has seen a spirit? How can the spirit be contained or evidenced or quantified or qualified to be a spirit? What does the spirit comprise of? What are the physical and chemical properties of the spirit? Is the spirit of a human being different from that of a cat's? If so what are the biological differences between the spirit of a cat and a human being?

Unless and until i get completely honest, logically and scientifically acceptable answers i shall declare this:-

Those who make statements such as "Spiritual but not religious" are nothing but being pussies. Spiritual and Religious mean the same rubbish and there is no difference really, i mean if one of the interpretations can be Ghost, you sure can bet the term Ghost did not come from the study of the Quantum Theory.

There is no medical term that talks about rescuing the spirit. Doctors save lives. If the spirit is the most important thing that gives life to a body then the spirit is the life, life is not the real life that makes us a lively person. All we need to do is save the spirit so that we can transplant it to another body or perhaps repair a damaged body or perhaps even cryogenically freeze it so that we can re-introduce the spirit into it and give it life once the body is in working condition. How come there is no scientific research in this area if spirit was such an awesome thing?

Let me put it like this. When you believe in something and if you have the nerve you have to stand up for it. For example, i'm an atheist. I stand up for the belief that there's nothing supernatural in this world. I will stand up for this fact unless and until someone proves me wrong by providing...

(a) scientific evidence
(b) testable means to prove the evidence
(c) peer review within a scientific community relevant to the discussion

So let me ask all the moderates here to stop being cowards. Please just declare you are indeed religious. Why hide behind the curtains of ambiguation to save yourselves from being mocked at for being plain stupid? You cannot even provide excuse stating you are deist because they do not believe in supernatural claims either. Certainly not spirit or souls. So for one last time can i request the real slim shady please stand up, stop being a mouse and act like a normal human being with a little bit of self respect and stand up for what you believe in, rather than hide behind the cover of moderate terminology to appear like you are smart and secular when you actually are not.

The only difference between religious and spiritual is this. Religious people don't care if they are stupid. They know it already and they rely on faith, in other words some garble written 2000 years ago about how to cut your raped house maid into 12 pieces and distribute it across town to clean yourself off an evil spirit. They are here to hurt other people, they want to reject knowledge, understanding and prefer to live in the stone ages. You on the other hand, the 'spiritual person' (or the moderate) realize you are stupid when you say you are religious. Why not be honest and accept the fact you don't want that crutch called religion and for once in your life, you can think of your own and act with morals based on your logical and rational judgement. Come out of it, spiritual is just a better way of saying "I'm still religious and don't want to come out of it but then please don't call me stupid for being so because im just to scared to face reality and take it like a man."

In a way religious people at least have the nerve to accept who they are and stand up for their beliefs which spiritual people (or moderates) lack. So much for trying to be nice.

Share this post :

The Photo Thief Seminar (post 12th Photowalk)

2008-10-16T03:48:00.001+05:30

Hello Everyone,

Owing to weather issues our Workshop did not go well last weekend hence for the benefit of the crowd and for easier attendance i intend to run this workshop again immediately after the Photowalk.

Please reserve about an hour and a half past the photowalk.

We will convene at a location that is convenient after the walk.

So in a nutshell after the walk we could convene at a place convenient for all of us, probably somewhere quite close by and indoors with as little ambient noise as possible and do this.

Tentatively this shall be around 10 AM (hoping the walk is done by this time) and go upto 11 AM and a 30 minute session for questions.

Agenda:

1. Overview of the Copyrights Law
2. What the Law lacks?
3. How vulnerable are you images?
4. How to protect your images?
5. You've been robbed, what to do?
6. You've been robbed, what NOT to do?
7. Fair use rights, what's hot and what's not
8. Future plans for legal action and reforms on the law.
9. Q & A session.

Who needs to attend?

If you have a camera and you have displayed your images in a public space, you should come listen to this stuff. Its scary and its re-assuring as well. :-D

Share this post :

Wedding Photography by Sharanya Rao

2008-10-16T01:36:00.001+05:30

My long time flickr friend Sharanya Rao has some interesting work on her portfolio.

This Wedding set of her's has some exceptional work on it. Go have a look, its worth blowing 30 minutes, admiring these images.

I've listed a few of the images i loved the most but you've got to see every one of these images to find out for yourself.

Sharanya also has a Blog where she has some exceptional work listed. Check it out.

There is some incredible amount of hard work that has gone into these images and it shows. It's like one of those times you look at some of the pictures and feel the need to have been at that place, in the sense that you feel its so lovely and you have missed it.

Oh well, Shan's wedding is right around the corner and im camping in her house a week before the wedding to get everything. Yay!

Bookmark:

A handbook of exceptional quick lies

2008-10-15T19:07:00.001+05:30

Yes, exclusively for the Indian family as well. Are you anything post 13 and below 30? Are you Single? Are you the one who happens to have girl friends? Are you the one that happens to be from a conservative tambram, catholic or muslim family? Do you find it painful to find explanations everytime you step out of the house?

Well if you have been answering yes to atleast 2 of the above questions then you are in deep shit?

Does it take impossible amounts of convincing to get your girl friend out of the house and in the last minute she banks out and excuse's herself "parents won't allow me to go out in weekends" sort of unbelievable shit!

Well wonder no more. The answers to your prayers are right here. I shall soon come up with a paperback book called "A handbook of exceptional quick lies". 20000 right lies you can fling right out of your pocket and not only get out of your house post 7 PM. Not only that, this WILL get your girl friends out too! Yes, its true and its time tested and it hardly fails.

For example, you plan a night show movie with a gang of friends at work. Living in chennai or any city for that matter you know how hard it is to get evening show or matinee tickets. Now your gal friends wont come out of the home because anything post 7 PM is taboo.

Well here is the deal. Call your girl friends Landline number. As always her dad, the bloody villain will pick up the phone. Now quickly tell her dad "Hello uncle, how are you? I'm fine. I could not reach sheetals mobile so called the land line. Can you take a message?"

At this point of time the curious bastard will be more than happy to know what the hell you are going to tell his beautiful daughter. Now comes your nuke...

"Please ask sheetal to get the Black Mamba Project report for the meeting with Vice president we have tonight at 9 AM PST"

Now her dad is like "What meeting? She never told me?"

"Oh yes uncle, we have a performance review meeting and our team has won the award for the best performance for this quarter. We may probably get a pay hike if we impress the VP in the meeting with our presentation and sheetal has done all the ground work."

Two things. Daughter will probably get a pay hike, daughter may get an award. This sucker will do anything to get his daughter to go to office.

Infact you can also use this opportunity to go pick up your girl friend from her house since it will be late in the night.

Imagine this, 8 pm pick-up from home. Dinner + movie at 10.45 pm and then go clubbing at 3 AM after the movie and back home by 6 am next morning.

The only small downside is you need to wear formal clothes when you start out of the house. That's okay. We are all used to carrying different set of clothes and changing in the restroom. Women are experts at this and you can take advise from your girl friend.

This is just ONE EXAMPLE, one of the more inefficient ways to get the girl friend out and you out of the house. Imagine how the super efficient ones that are available only when you buy the book, would sound like. Buy my book and you have 19,999 more of this wonderful treasure of knowledge.

So hang tight and watch this space. Arriving in a blog near you....

As for NRI folks, dont worry. Amazon deals are underway to sell atleast 87 million copies in the USA and Europe alone.

Bookmark:

Barrack, before & after the Debate

2008-10-15T00:00:00.001+05:30

Awesome Video. If Obama wins then this guy will have an awesome career.

This guy is just awesome.

Bookmark:

The Excuse

2008-10-14T21:42:00.004+05:30

And so what we've been expecting has finally happened. I have hard bound evidence to prove this shit, now. I called narain today and asked him if we could meet up at Vanilla Place or some place outside. I told him that i needed to discuss stuff about lingerie photography and i had a model with me and we wanted to discuss things.

Since narain already has extensive expertise in accompanying women to lingerie shops i was confident that his acquaintance with straps and hooks, babes and boobs should all fall in place and he would be good enough and i could use a helping hand of a friend in the shoot.

I expected narain to pounce upon the opportunity (if he could on my model too but my model is a kong-fu graduate and will powder his balls) since i had already told him that i had the model with me and we wanted to go to Mermaid near mocha (apparently narain is a Multi platinum member here, the store attendant tells me) and buy some strapless stuff that narain knows like the hair at the back of his head.

However, today tragedy stuck! Narain responded "I would love to get my hands on her (oops!) errr... the lingerie for her... and help you da but today is an important day and i have some serious personal commitments". Knowing narain for this long i sensed a longing in his voice and i could not push him further and let go of without further questions.

So me and my model went in and narain had the good-will to call the store and tell them that we were coming. There were trumpets and horns blowing when we entered khadar nawaz khan road and a beautiful red carpet leading all the way to mermaid. We were served Champagne when we entered the shop and the store owner personally attended to us and told us that whatever we brought that day was all on narain's account and that he would get killed if narain came to know he took money from any girl for purchasing her undies and cholies. Narain exclusive brought rights to these things in the city long back, which probably explains why most of our actresses and college girls nowadays wear no brasiers or jatties and are all see through fanatic's (letting the air with full of life circulate in these areas) and condemn wastage of clothing material.

People in africa are dying without clothes and they just dont want stupid pieces of weirdly cut scraps to go in between their legs and strangle their chest all the time. We were also let into a secret by one of the store attendant that there is a new cult called the naaraa cult. This was exclusively founded by narain. Every time a girl attains puberty word is sent first to narain who in turn buys the girl her first pair of boob holders. Apparently i guess this explains why we were served 13000 worth of champagne for a 130 peraadha cheap bra and panty.

Anyway's back to the story of narain disappointing us. My model was going fucking nuts. She gulp adchified the entire bottle of champagne before i could sip once and was panting and breathing heavily and was yelling around at everybody in the store. She was pissed off or what? "What's wrong with narain?" "What will i do to get the right size now?"

One sales girl offered to measure her size and my model snapped right back. "Narain stares at a girls cleavage from 13 miles away from his house terrace and will give you the size, geometric dimension, left and right comparison, boob balance economics, tension threshold of the strap in order to hold the boulders in the front, lactative qualification/quantification and all sort of details, so piss off!". I was blown away. We finally decided bra's without narain is like boobs without nipples. They are just damn incomplete and decided from henceforth, every year this day we will shoot only topless images in the memory of narain's refusal to accompany us.

Now im back home and i logon to Google Chat and Narain's status message says "My first night - In office ;-)"

I suddenly remember the other night, which was incomplete for narain. Office is like second home and this time i pray narain gets it right. Vishwa should be there at narain's office by now.

I guess after all i did the right thing by not pestering narain today.

If you're still wondering what the heck Vishwa or who the heck vishwa is then you have to come for our next bloggers meet for the reading of my version of the Apocalyptic Night. Its a story worth listening to.

Bookmark :

How to Live Life

2008-10-10T00:30:00.001+05:30

Two Words, Fantastic Lecture.

Bookmark:

Monkey Business

2008-10-09T22:44:00.001+05:30

The question is how are the animals treated. Looks like they love the soya beam tip and the 2 hour work time but then is this only in front of the camera? Do these monkeys work for more hours?

Bookmark: :

I love my balls, seriously!

2008-10-09T02:36:00.001+05:30

I happen to subscribe to the National Geographic RSS feeds and today i came upon something awesome.

Before i tell you what it is, let me tell you a little bit of a story.

There once lived in the world where secular scientists and normal people who do not hallucinate about imaginary shit bags in the sky telling you when to put your crotch into what and where. These people came up with a discovery called stem cells. Without going into technical details much, in simple and crisp terminology stem cells help us understand the human cell structure and germ therapy better, thereby enabling us to find possible cures to aids, cancer and such likely other deadly disease that wreak havoc on human kind.

However there were a few sects of people called Catholics, Muslims, Hindus and Jews who believed in a imaginary entity whom no one has ever seen. He is called GOD. Now this god mother fucker who does not exist in the first place apparently put some shit called soul into an embryo when the man told the woman "honey, i was about to pull out but i cummed too fast, sorry!" and the woman had a swelling in her tummy three months later.

Now this embryo of course was voluntarily donated by nice minded and good hearted humans but then the imaginary "Soul" entity happened to have life in it and using it to do stem cell research was considered a blasphemy, a term religious fucktards use when science beats the fucking shit out of religion and god every other time and they have no evidence to prove religion right and science wrong. In other words, we call that "Appeal to Authority". "You should not do that! Why? Because you should not!" Typical Crap, accusing people who want to save lives as murderers and then calling upon Jihad because you can have 7 virgin pussies to lick for yourselves in heaven when you die.

Now the good news is, we can extract stem cells from guess what? Human testicles and this technology will be mainstream before i smash the mosquito on my hand that sucking on by blood right now.

My curiosity is, are the Catholics gonna look for every other masturbating man and hold his cum on their hands and put it in a plastic container and cryogenically freeze the man's juice because each one of those 40 million sperms per cubic milli litre of semen is a potential life? Wow, i'm so deviously happy because i kill about 4 billion people in my shower everyday while i jerk off to the thought of me caressing some good pam anderson lee tits.

Nice try god, we're gonna fix cancer, AIDS and what not with stem cell research in the future and miracle working televangelist's like Benny Hinn can to take a hike. What next? Masturbating is the sole evil that is causing Global Warming? Sure, bring it on. We're never tired of beating the shit out of you mother fuckers. Like this one, you will be in jail soon.

Rang De

2008-10-08T20:39:00.001+05:30

RangDe.Org Film from rahulchittella on Vimeo.

An interesting project to have a look at and support.

Deccan Chronicle Steals

2008-10-08T17:05:00.001+05:30

Vasanthkumar Rajendran reports that his image has been stolen by Deccan Chronicle.

Here is the account.

Kela

2008-10-05T15:57:00.001+05:30

Originally uploaded by hpk

Found this on Vikrams Flickr Stream. God damn, we're a country that never utters the word "sex" and im supposed to believe this shit? And look, katrina kaif in it too! WTF!

Reality Bites!

2008-10-02T01:16:00.001+05:30

Apparently the latest publicity stunt is recruiting Kapil Dev into the Indian Army. Captain Suresh pinged me on this.

Right after a great party at a club in a happy mood i find this news a bit inspiring and pissing me off at the same time. Kapil Dev wants to serve in the army, wow! Nice read, call it a publicity stunt which it fucking is, its still nice to hear and is inspiring.

On the flip side, we have screwed our soldiers so much in the Sixth Pay Commision. We have treated them so shoddily that we need celebrity stunts to inspire people to serve in the army. I met a friend today evening who works for the hotel industry and he was telling me how Malaysian Tamil's crib about who will change this country for the better and how they feel its an impossible task.

I feel for once he is right. For a country that cannot respect the guys and gals who are waiting for the bullet to their head, india is fucked.

Today is October 2nd. I gladly say "Fuck off" india. i'm tired of your indian'ism.

5 stages of a blogger’s life

2008-09-30T16:12:00.001+05:30

5 stages of a blogger’s life

Posted using ShareThis

The Photo Thief Seminar

2008-09-29T23:28:00.001+05:30

Okay, so i think i've made up my mind on what to do and where to do stuff about this seminar.

Place: Barista, G.N. Chetty Road, T.Nagar
Time: 12 Noon
Date: 12th Oct, 2008 - Sunday

Agenda:

If you have a camera and you have displayed your images in a public space, you should come listen to this stuff. Its scary and its re-assuring as well. :-D