"Hooking Up", the ABC Online Dating Television Series

Hooking Up Part 2, July 21 Episode Review 7/20/05

2005-07-29T11:35:00.000-07:00

Consider these dating sites as you read about Hooking Up.

In the second hour of the ABC News documentary series "Hooking Up," Amy, a realtor and inveterate optimist, brings Chris, a professional poker player whom she believes could be her soul-mate, to meet her sister and brother-in-law. Their opinion of him is not what she had expected and propels her back to the dating scene, even more determined in her mission to find a husband. Meanwhile, Maryam, a photographer, asks her suitor on their first date if he's gay. Despite this awkward opener, it's clear they are intrigued with each other. And Cynthia, who manages a hair salon, goes on a date with a professor she met while "speed dating" and tries to decide whether their age difference is too great to overcome. "Hooking Up" airs THURSDAY, JULY 21 (9:00-10:00 p.m., ET) on the ABC Television Network and continues Thursdays through August 11.

Once stigmatized as the last resort of desperate souls and lonely hearts, today internet dating services are a billion-dollar industry used by an estimated 40 million Americans. "Hooking Up," a five-part documentary series from the producer behind the award-winning ABC News series "Hopkins 24/7," "Boston 24/7" and "NYPD 24/7," offers an intimate look at the sometimes bewildering, often hilarious, and occasionally frightening world of online dating.

Like the "24/7" series, "Hooking Up" puts a particular aspect of our culture under a microscope, focusing in this case on the yearnings, trials and tribulations of eleven Manhattan women. Their experiences - the connections, the rejections, the dating disasters - are a reminder that, for better or worse, every date is an adventure into uncharted territory.

Terence Wrong is producer and executive producer of "Hooking Up." Brad Hebert and Bryan Taylor are co-producers. Rudy Bednar is the senior executive producer and Phyllis McGrady is the executive-in-charge.

INTERNET DATING - NOT YOUR OLD SCHOOL PERSONALS

2005-07-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

Consider these dating sites as you read about Hooking Up.

By ADRIENNE MAND LEWIN

ABC NEWS

Years ago, the personal ad pages suffered from an image problem. Deserved or not, the common perception of those who used classifieds to find dates was that they were completely desperate, utterly unattractive or wildly depraved — or all of the above.

But that was before the Internet. Out were the coded come-ons like "DWM, non-smoker, seeks SWF for a good time" snuck discreetly in the back of magazines and newspapers. Suddenly, there were chat rooms for people with similar interests and sites with personal profiles including psychological evaluations of potential matches, all available at the click of a mouse.

In 2005, it's almost a given — and certainly socially acceptable — that if you're single, you've tried finding dates online. And while the Internet obviously has an element of sleaze, there are plenty of options for those truly looking for love — people like your friend from college and your widowed neighbor and the person you broke up with last year.

"It's amazing," said Carrie Wenzer Littman, 52, a real estate agent from Wilmington, Del., and a divorced mother of two grown children. "I'm just floored by the amount of people who are out there."

Varied Motivations

Vic Cividini, 32, an engineer working in construction management, was reluctant to try online dating when a friend who had met his wife that way suggested he give it a try. "He was trying to get me on it, and I was just like, 'Ah, forget it,'" said the Hoboken, N.J., resident. "I thought, you know what, it's too contrived."

But he reconsidered and joined Match.com when another friend was going out on dates once a week with women he'd met through the site. "I think having a profile, a couple of pictures and a quick blurb on what they're about is probably a step above just a blind setup," Cividini said.

He's not alone. According to a January study by JupiterResearch, 14 percent of adults online — or 21 million users — said they had browsed personals, while 11 percent of adults online — 17 million users — had posted personals.

DOCTOR ON ABC'S "HOOKING UP" FACED LICENSING HEARING

2005-07-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

Consider these dating sites as you read about Hooking Up.

By FELICIA R. LEE
NEW YORK TIMES

Published: July 16, 2005

Dr. Lisa Aptaker appears on the ABC Web site for "Hooking Up," the new documentary series about the world of online dating, saying that she has a tough time partly because she does not post her picture and conceals her name and occupation. On Thursday night, the 36-year-old gynecologist could be seen on the first show of the five-part series giving a false name to a surgeon during a date and refusing to disclose her profession.

"If they know you're a doctor, forget it," she says. "They'll bring an engagement ring to the first date."

Now, in a twist that further blurs the sometimes fuzzy lines between reality shows, news programs and real life - and that echoes unflattering revelations about some reality-show contestants - it turns out that Dr. Aptaker was the subject of a hearing last year about her fitness to practice medicine and about her willingness to divulge information.

An administrative hearing was held in Tallahassee, Fla., in August after Dr. Aptaker was issued a notice that the State of Florida would deny her a medical license. A 42-page record of the hearing said the denial had been based on Dr. Aptaker's effort to obtain a license by "misrepresenting or concealing material facts," her inability to practice medicine because of a "mental condition," her failure to update material facts on her application and because her New York medical license was under investigation.

"These statements are allegations that have been made," Dr. Aptaker said yesterday in a telephone interview. "I challenge any good lawyer to read these allegations that were made, in that they were not being predicated on any fact or applicable law."

She is appealing the decision and her New York license is in good standing, she said.

As for "Hooking Up," she said: "I'm not sorry I did the show. It was a lot of fun, first of all. I wanted to bring forth to the public that attractive, professional women are using the Internet for dating."

Dr. Aptaker's licensing problems first came to light in articles yesterday in The New York Post and The New York Daily News. In both articles, Dr. Aptaker was quoted as saying that she had been kicked out of the Army for appearing on "Hooking Up," which follows the online dating adventures of a diverse group of New York City women, including Dr. Aptaker.

"The Army is covering up its own misconduct," Dr. Aptaker said. "As the promotional events began for the show it was too much for them to handle."

Paul Boyce, a spokesman for the Army, would say only that Dr. Aptaker was given an honorable discharge on June 21 after joining the Army in January and being assigned to the officer basic medical course at a training center in Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio. For personnel reasons, the Army cannot discuss the hearing that led to her discharge, he said. The documentary was filmed before Dr. Aptaker joined the Army.

Many soldiers have appeared on television shows, including two on the first season of the reality show "Survivor," Mr. Boyce said. He said Dr. Aptaker's appearance on the show would not be grounds for discharge.

"Hooking Up" is a product of the news division of ABC rather than its entertainment arm, but Dr. Aptaker's woes do not reflect on ABC News, said Terence Wrong, the show's executive producer. Mr. Wrong also produced the multipart documentary series "Hopkins 24/7" about doctors at Johns Hopkins Medical Center and "N.Y.P.D. 24/7," about the New York Police Department. He said that it is a truism of dating, and online dating in particular, that what you see is not always what you get.

"Whatever you want to deduce about her character you can deduce from the documentary," Mr. Wrong said of Dr. Aptaker.

The backgrounds of the women in "Hooking Up" were checked for any serious crimes, Mr. Wrong said, but the show's focus is not their careers but their lives as they date men they meet through the Internet.

"Hooking Up" is a serious sociological look at Internet dating culture that just happens to be entertaining, Mr. Wrong said. "The career trajectories of the women on the show has not borne on their romantic trials and tribulations, which was the subject of our documentary," he said.

The network found the women, Mr. Wrong said, by contacting major Internet dating sites. Unlike a reality show, he said, they are not vying for a prize. There are no plans to go back and conduct additional background checks on any of the women, Mr. Wrong said.

Shows like "Hooking Up" continue the trend that began many years ago - blurring the lines between entertainment and news, said Marvin Kalb, a senior fellow at the Joan Shorenstein Center on the Press, Politics and Public Policy at Harvard University.

"People can be excused if they no longer see the distinction between reality TV and a news show," said Mr. Kalb, a former chief diplomatic correspondent for CBS News and a former host of "Meet the Press" on NBC. Dr. Aptaker's problems would prove embarrassing to ABC, he predicted, only if the show fails to attract viewers.

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DUMPED BY ARMY FOR "HOOKING UP"?

2005-07-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

Consider these dating sites as you read about Hooking Up.

By MAKI BECKER
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

One of the stars of the new ABC documentary series "Hooking Up" has claimed she was kicked out of the Army for appearing on the sassy singles show.

Dr. Lisa Aptaker, 36, a gynecologist, is one of 11 New York women who agreed to be followed by a camera crew as they went out on dates with men they met through the Internet.

Aptaker said she was discharged from an Army medical training program two weeks ago as promos of the ABC show began airing.

"I am calling for an immediate reappointment," she told the Daily News after hiring an attorney to help her get back into the Army.

But the military disputed her allegations.

"Her discharge had nothing whatsoever to do with her appearance on a television show," said Army spokesman Paul Boyce. "We've had soldiers on 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,' [and] on MTV."

Boyce said Aptaker was given an "honorable discharge," but declined to say why she was shown the door.

"The privacy act prohibits government officials from talking about individual personnel actions," he said.

Aptaker also refuted allegations raised in documents over her bid for a medical license in Florida that question her "mental condition" and about personnel problems with colleagues at previous jobs.

"All I have to say is the U.S. government spent a year doing an exhaustive background check," she said.

Originally published on July 15, 2005

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ABC'S HOOKING UP EPISODE I: THE ONLINE DATING BEGINS

2005-07-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

Consider these dating sites as you read about Episode I of Hooking Up.

Now, is anybody truthful in online dating? The answer seems up in the air given that on the first episode of Hooking Up we see not only the men providing slightly untruthful information, but at least one of the women as well! How can Lisa lie so much in her online profile and expect a man to be okay with it?

The first episode of Hooking Up opens with several clips of the woman either on their dates or discussing their dates. We’re told that approximately 40 million Americans are dating online. We also get the quote of the evening from Cynthia: “His eyebrows are better arched than mine.” This is going to be fun.

The first woman we meet on Hooking Up is Claire. She seems a bit cynical about dating, but also optimistic. Can you be both? Her date for the evening is Nick.

Oh, wait. We’re switching already to another person.

Next on Hooking Up we meet Jennifer, who says that she feels her clock running. Maybe Cynthia doesn’t have the quote of the evening after all. Anyway, Jennifer has a date with Carmine and repeats all of the information I shared with you in the preview article about not wanting to post a picture due to security and professional reasons. (She’s a doctor.) Carmine is upset because he didn’t get to see a picture of her. He also says he has had bad experiences with people not being who they say they are. Carmine reaches over and touches Jennifer’s chest just below her neck. Then he asks if she shaved today. Obviously, she is annoyed and disturbed by him.

Next, we officially meet Cynthia on Hooking Up. She is going out with Andrew, who is an actor/model. While on a telephone conversation with him, she tells him her size. When we finally get to the date, she tells us he is late and that she should not ever have to wait for a man. When Andrew finally arrives, the show lists his occupation as “musician.” Does that mean he’s an actor/model/musician? She says, “he looks nothing like his photograph,” and that she is aggravated.

Now the Hooking Up jumps back to Claire. I’m getting dizzy. While on her date with Nick, she orders dessert. This tells me that she is somewhat confident about herself. I like it. She also says that she is impressed that he brought her flowers. At one point in the date, she explains to Nick that she works for Viagra. At least she doesn’t offer any free samples. She also says that she wants to see him again. Overall, it appears that the evening went well.

Back to Cynthia… she asks Andrew how old he is because apparently his online profile says that he is in his 30s. He tells her he is in his 40s and that his picture is old. He also confesses that he told her he looks like Fabio in order to get her to go on a date. It’s frightening that someone thought that would actually work. Cynthia says that Andrew is more like “a strung-out hippie.” Hey, they can be fun.

Jennifer is once again discussing why she hides her identity. [Note: It seems rather ironic that she is unwilling to use her real name or real occupation, and she hides her picture, but at the same time she is willing to go on a nationally-televised network series and have all those same details plastered across our TV screens.] She also says that she is going out on a date with Doug who is a surgeon; however, she is not ready to share the details of her occupation. While on the date, Doug makes a joke about doctors and golf. She almost slips up and tells him that she is a doctor. Close call. He seems really into her.

Claire is going out with Nick again; however, she tells us that she doesn’t feel attracted to him. She also says that he keeps looking at her chest. In all fairness to Doug, it appears that she does have a tattoo of some sort on her chest. Maybe he’s just looking at that. OK, you can stop laughing at me now. They stop for ice cream; he gets a vanilla cone and she gets vanilla with sprinkles. I think this kills it for poor Nick because she comments on how his choice says a lot about him and that vanilla is boring. And you wonder why these women are single. I don’t think Nick has anything to worry about, though; he is cute and he seems like a nice guy. Someone will snatch him up eventually. Claire sends him an e-mail message to tell him there will be no third date. She also meets Josh online and sets up a date with him. They are both into music and she says that she is digging him.

Cynthia says that everyone always deceives one another online. Why be involved with Internet dating then? While on her date with Andrew, she goes to the restroom and calls a friend. Things aren’t looking up for Andrew at this point.

Claire is on her way to meet Josh. She says she has a good feeling about him.

Now Hooking Up is back to Jennifer. People, slow down; I can’t keep up with this pace! Jennifer’s date, Doug, says that he still hasn’t gotten basic information out of her. Separately, she says that it is time to reveal her profession to him. He says he has a feeling he’s going to get burned.

Claire and Josh are on their date. He says he is looking for someone who isn’t a stupid cracker… at least that’s what I think he said. She tells him that her mom once dated Tom Ridge. He has no idea who he is. As a native Pennsylvanian, my ears perk up at the name of our former governor and the country’s former head of homeland security! Claire says that they are different, but they get along well. To illustrate the point, Hooking Up treats us to a clip of them singing together.

Cynthia and Andrew are hooking up in the restaurant. Someone from the restaurant tells her that she has a call. After feigning surprise, she takes the call and returns to Andrew in order to tell him that there is some type of emergency that she needs to tend to and that she has to leave. You can tell that Andrew knows that he has been duped. I know that he was deceitful, but I still feel sorry for the guy. I think she could have at least finished dinner, thanked him for getting together, and then left. I don’t know if it’s just the softie coming out in me, but he’s still a person with feelings, so there’s no need to hurt him.

Jennifer tells Doug that she has to tell him something. Finally, she informs him that she is a doctor. He seems annoyed by her surprise. Then she tells him that her real name is Lisa. At this point, he’s floored. He says to the camera, “She committed the crime of dating deception.”

Claire and Josh are still on their date. He comments on her eyes. Later on, he pounces on her for a kiss. We see them hooking up, er, kissing several more times. She says she can’t wait to see him again.

Cynthia says that the search for Mr. Right continues.

What? That’s it? Oh, perhaps that is a clue that we are going to meet some of the other women.

When we return from a commercial break, Hooking Up introduces us to Amy, who says she really wasn’t “living” back in South Dakota. She is talking to her sister Sara about marriage and babies. Apparently Amy thinks she should be married because she is already… gasp… 28! Amy goes out with Chris who is a professional poker player. They go horseback riding in the park.

Claire is back. She’s meeting Hunt, but thinking about Josh. Hunt doesn’t seem to be doing anything for her.

Cynthia says that she feels like she is selling herself when she uses the Internet to meet men. Insert your own hooking up comments here. She also states that she gets depressed thinking about being single. To improve her mood, she decides to try speed dating. She says that speed dating is quick. That Cynthia is one sharp woman. One guy that she is “dating” asks how you can determine in four minutes if you are interested in someone. She says that it only takes two minutes and that you shouldn’t have to struggle to talk to someone. I don’t agree with that statement completely. When you are in the early stages of a relationship, you sometimes have to work at the conversation, particularly if you are shy. I don’t think that it is necessarily a sign that the relationship is doomed from the start.

Amy says that Chris doesn’t know what he’s doing with the horse. It is kind of funny to watch him. He says that before he dies, he wants to walk the Great Wall of China and have a second date with Amy. Excuse me for a moment, readers. Gag. Puke. Spit. Sorry about that. He takes Amy back to his place so that he can give her a cake for her birthday, which was the day before their date. He also has a poem for her. She thinks that he is definitely a great guy. Will they be hooking up?

Cynthia is on another date with a gentleman whose name I missed. She says that she was married and hurt by her ex-husband.

Claire is not having fun with Hunt. Apparently, he is too loud for her. She also says that she is thinking about Josh and realizes that she is cheating mentally. I think she is putting too much pressure on herself; she’s not married to Hunt, so it’s OK if she thinks about Josh or any other guy. My only suggestion would be for her to politely end the date if she is thinking about him to the point that she has tuned Hunt out completely. Other than that, think away, Claire. It’s OK.

Thus, we have the first episode of Hooking Up. You also may want consider these dating sites if you are not scared off by this review!

SEARCHING FOR LOVE - HOOKING UP ON ABC WITH ONLINE DATING

2005-07-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

Unchain their hearts. Having dissected hospital care, Boston politics and the New York City police department, ABC News producer Terence Wrong turns to the hot pursuit of Mr. Right through online dating in his latest summertime documentary series.

The five-hour Hooking Up, premiering Thursday and airing weekly through Aug. 11, is a dotcom meld of The Dating Game, Love Connection and The Bachelorette - all utilizing online dating personals. Its stars are a dozen real-life Manhattan women whose Cupid is the Internet. They're among the purportedly 40 million Americans who have used online dating services to meet up, make up and often break up with men of their dreams – and nightmares.

Hooking Up only uses New York City as its incubator, which seems a bit insular on the face of it. Still, cyber-dating and online personals obviously are a fact of modern life across the USA. Is it really any more impersonal or sometimes altogether creepy than a newspaper's printed "Personals" section? Should we feel envy or pity for a 35-year-old second-grade teacher named Kelly, who says in the second episode, "It is now Wednesday. I have been viewed 4,418 times" – in a bikini.

Review copies of Hooking Up's first two hours are devoted to the dating ups and downs of Kelly and five other women identified only by their first names.

Cynthia, 34-year-old manager of a hair salon, has a fallback "booty call" arrangement when she feels the need for sex without any strings. The urge usually hits after a first date also proves to be the last one.

"It exerts so much energy to do online dating," she says.

Claire, 26, is in ad sales. "Nick is awesome," she deduces after her initial encounter with a 27-year-old photographer. "I feel almost immediately that I want to see him again."

But Nick is downgraded to an average Joe when he makes the mistake of ordering a plain vanilla ice cream cone that she fears fits his personality. Claire breaks up with him online after their second date. She then arranges to meet 27-year-old music producer Josh, who is "not outrageously hot, not hideous," judging from his picture.

Lisa, a 36-year-old gynecologist, operates under the pseudonym Jennifer in early dates through online personals. She also lies about her occupation, believing men will bring an engagement ring if they immediately know she's a doctor.

Amy, 28 and in real estate, has recently moved from South Dakota. She yearns to make babies and is prone to test the equipment of men who interest her beyond two or three dates.

"I don't think God's going to fly Prince Charming through your bedroom window," she reasons. "You have to put yourself in position to meet someone."

Maryam, a 29-year-old art photographer, frets that one of her dates might be unsuitable at any speed.

"He has a gay voice. C'mon," she says.

The camera is unblinking, even if some of these women and their men at times are self-consciously aware of it. Every so often they play to the lens as though it were a third-party confidant, which in a sense it is. What happens here is all fair game, and it's remarkable how many of the men in these pictures are also willing to play along. Being on television can be a more powerful pheromone than the heady early stages of infatuation. Or so it seems.

Whatever Hooking Up is, it's not traditional hard news. Still, it's likely to be an easier sell than ABC's previous bird's-eye views of cops, doctors and politicians.

We watch the admittedly very choosy Cynthia embark on another date. And another. And another. In time, we get to know her better than the men she discards, and vice-versa.

In truth, she's not very likable. Then again, maybe she's not so bad.

However you feel, you're likely to feel something. All of the abundant kissing, telling and gamesmanship in Hooking Up just might be the beginning of a beautiful relationship – between viewers and ABC at least.

PREMIER OF "HOOKING UP", A NEW DOCUMENTARY SERIES FROM ABC NEWS, GOES INSIDE THE UNPREDICTABLE WORLD OF ONLINE DATING

2005-07-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

"HOOKING UP", The Five-Part Series Premieres Thursday, July 14 at 9:00 p.m., ET on ABC

The internet continues to transform both our lives and our notions of community in ways most of us never anticipated. Some Americans spend more time interacting with online strangers than they do with friends or family, often keeping their cyber life a secret. But for those who date online, turning someone who exists only as text and a jpeg file into real flesh-and-blood is a mission that holds both potential risk and reward. When romantic relationships do form and sometimes go bad, the end can come abruptly as a "Dear John" line of text, reinforcing the cold calculus of a system in which people literally shop online for a mate.

Once stigmatized as the last resort of desperate souls and lonely hearts, today internet dating services are a billion-dollar industry used by an estimated 40 million Americans. "Hooking Up," a new five-part documentary series from the producers of the award-winning ABC News series "Hopkins 24/7," "Boston 24/7" and "NYPD 24/7," takes an intimate look at the sometimes bewildering, often hilarious, and occasionally frightening world of online dating. Like the "24/7" series, "Hooking Up" puts a particular aspect of our culture under a microscope, focusing in this case on the yearnings, trials and tribulations of 12 Manhattan women. Their experiences with online dating - the connections, the rejections, the dating disasters - are a reminder that, for better or worse, every date is an adventure into uncharted territory. "Hooking Up" premieres THURSDAY, JULY 14 (9:00-10:00 p.m., ET) on ABC.

The charismatic women in "Hooking Up" -- ranging in age from 25 to 38 -- explode the myth that online dating is for losers. Included in their ranks are a gynecologist, a hair stylist, a yoga instructor, a realtor and an opera-singer. Most speak anxiously about their biological clocks and the difficulty of finding Mr. Right in a city where beautiful women abound. They all say they believe the deck is stacked in favor of men. So they surf internet personals hoping to meet a stranger who will turn out to be the most important date of their lives. Yet their dating strategies couldn't be more different. Lisa, the doctor, initially conceals her name and occupation from potential suitors, because, she says, "if they know you're a doctor... they'll bring the engagement ring to the first date." Amy, the real estate broker, doesn't hesitate to tell dates that she's looking for a husband and the eventual father of her children. Reisha, a technology consultant, is determined that the next man she kisses will be the one she weds.

In theory the chance to screen a prospective date for compatibility, income and even basic literacy before meeting him allows reason to trump instant physical attraction. But if online suitors conceal their true motives and provide phony personal information, the fallout can be severe. After a sumptuous dinner, Sonja, owner of a health food store, discovers that her charming date refuses to keep his hands to himself once they reach his lavishly appointed penthouse. Most ill-fated encounters are more benign. When Cynthia, the hair stylist, realizes her date has misled her about his appearance, she bails out on dinner before the main course arrives. Another man literally finds his dinner finger-licking good, much to the chagrin of his date.

For every dud, there are also plenty of knights in shining armor. Yet chivalry doesn't guarantee success, and it may be mystifying to observers why certain men don't make the cut.

From the first online "wink" to meeting prospective in-laws, "Hooking Up" offers an unvarnished look at the rewards and pitfalls of 21st Century romance. If an infinite supply of bachelors is the upside to internet dating, sorting through them requires a decidedly unromantic, mercenary approach. But for those who persevere, the hope that they'll meet their soul-mate makes it all worthwhile.

Terence Wrong is producer and executive producer of "Hooking Up", but he does a great job showing us the online dating scene.