The Evil Atheist

Back!

2007-12-18T00:35:00.001+08:00

After a long hiatus, the Evil Atheist is back!

Entertainment Singapore Style

2007-06-14T08:18:00.001+08:00

Damn, I turn my back on you fucks for a week, and guess what, so much shit happens. Today's edition is going to be my take on a few things that have been happening in Singapore.

First up, gay relief teacher who got his ass handed to him by the Ministry of Education demands an explanation on why he was unfairly canned. Ministry's response was simple: Hey, he's gay so he should be used to being fucked in the ass, or words to that effect. Alfian was a teacher in a nondescript secondary school and was apparently a very good teacher at that. He was also a top student with outstanding results for his A levels. He applied to be a relief teacher and got the fucking job. No problems there, right? Right... A few months later, the Ministry sends him a nicely worded letter saying "get the fuck out, douchebag. We don't want your kind here". Naturally Alfian got pissed and asked for an explanation, and he got one.

Now folks, whoever drafted that letter ought to be in charge of the space programme. That man has a gift.

the Ministry of Education sets stringent criteria in the recruitment of relief teachers. This is understandably so when we strive to achieve a high standard in Education. With keen competition, this Ministry has an arduous task of considering each applicant based on several factors. MOE needs to determine which applicants most appropriately meet its organisational needs. In the registering of relief teachers, we look at each applicant in view of the specific requirements of the Ministry at the time, considering each application as a whole, on its own merit. While many capable candidates apply every year, only those that best meet the organisation's requirements will be considered for appointment.

Yeeeeaaaaaahhhh right. Folks, even IF all that meant something, let's look at some of the people that make it through these 'stringent criteria' for recruitment of teachers:

Outings, sleepovers after basketball practice (ST Nov 29, 2006)
Teacher is suspended by the primary school in June this year and appeared in court yesterday on three molestation charges.'Adam said they would be out till quite late at night and sometimes they would stay over at the teacher's place.' - Principal of Adam's secondary school, on outings after basketball practices in Adam's primary school
Boy tells court how accused taught him... DIRTY LESSONS
+ Teacher allegedly makes him watch porn video in bedroom
+ Then he shocks boy by performing sexual act

Teacher at boys' school charged with molesting students (ST Dec 5, 2005)
He faces 19 charges; alleged offences took place over 4 years
A 33-YEAR-OLD secondary school teacher was yesterday charged in court with molesting and committing lewd acts with seven students.

ST 25 May 2001
A teacher with St Andrew's Junior College has gone missing with S$63,500 from the school's co-operative society, and may already have left the country. The mathematics teacher, an expatriate from Hongkong in his early 40s, joined the school about a year ago.

ST 20 May 2001
In a three-day trial last week, a district court heard that Lam Peng Kwan, 59, a private tutor and former teacher at Tanjong Katong Girls' School, asked a 16-year-old girl to lift up the skirt of her school uniform so that he could point out her private parts. She said he also used his hands to rub her stomach. Lam, whose book, Comprehensive Biology - For O-Level Science, is still being used in schools, is also accused of touching the girl's private parts. The court will give its verdict on 22 Jun 2001. (Note from Hades: Yes folks, its the same Lam Peng Kwan whose text books are considered like a Bible for O Level Biology, good job you fucking senile perv).

ST 8 Apr 2001
A teacher who allegedly molested two primary school pupils was charged in a district court on 7 Apr 2001. Gilbert Chee Boon San, 32, is also accused of forcing another pupil from the same school to sit on his lap. The three pupils, all girls, were 12 years old at the time of the alleged offences at a school in the north-west of Singapore. No plea was recorded from Chee.

Rigourous my ass.

I leave the criticism of the letter itself to people who have that kind of time, but having known MOE for so long I am not surprised. What surprises me is the response this letter got. There was huge speculation on whether the guy got canned because he took it up the ass or because his skin was the wrong shade of yellow. Folks, that's missing the point. The bigger issue you SHOULD be asking is why the secrecy? The ministry of education is NOT a private organisation. It is accountable to everyone of you. That doesn't mean of course that the ministry should provide detailed reports on every hiring and firing it does, but WHEN QUESTIONED it has to reveal why it did what it did and not hide behind bullshit phrases like they are 'acceptable HR policies'. Acceptable to whom? Certainly they weren't acceptable to Alfian and from what we read a LOT of other people.

Singaporeans, these people are NOT YOUR MASTERS, they are your SERVANTS. Demand accountability dammit.

Anyway, in other news, the Father does it AGAIN. Yep.

You know, when they sent him to Russia, they should have just lost him somewhere in the fucking Siberian desert.

He had this gem to say to the Russian journalist: For instance, India and China have underdeveloped people; they have no trained scientists and engineers in the numbers required, but the Russians have always had that. They pioneered their way into space".

Like fucking Singapore has that many scientists. The fuck has pionnering space have to do with sustainable economic development?! This fucker is so damn anecdotal it would be funny if he wasn't so respected here. He loves to generalise single events with no regard to context. Fuck, I never got my dick caught in a zipper so I deserve to be awarded a fucking Nobel.. The Fuck?! Of course the fucking Russians could pioneer space. They let the fucking rest of the country starve just so they could send a fucking basketball in orbit first, you drooling douche! The only reason Russia is not a fucking backwater waste of land is oil, pure and simple. O fucking I fucking L. Let's see shall we, if this shitbag's argument that India and China don't have enough scientists stand:

1> THE FUCKING PRESIDENT OF INDIA is a fucking scientist. This man pioneered the fucking nuclear programme in the country. Singapore's own Tony Tan probably pioneered a buttscratcher (TM Family Guy).

2> HALF OF FUCKING NUS is filled with professors from China and India.

3> Fucking NUS set up colleges in Bangalore and Shanghai. The fuck would they do that if India and China had "underdeveloped people".

4> What the FUCK is an underdeveloped people? People with a major appendages missing? I suppose he's been looking at his own parliament too long. Those men and women lost their genitals to him a long time ago.

Since when did scientific innovation depend on numbers of scientists? The Father thinks that innovation can be mass produced, typical thinking from the man, and that more scientists = more innovation, which of course is bullshit. Just ask all those professors sitting with their thumbs up their asses in the Biopolis.

Why the fuck does anyone take this man seriously is a wonder. He has all the mannerisms of a schoolyard bully and the argument-sophistication of a 10 year old. What right does he think he have to advise a country of Russia's size about economics just because he managed to turn an already prosperous city into a reasonably well-off, compliant, non-creative boring little city? Stick to what you know, old man and stop making Singaporeans look like complete arrogant fuckwads.

Gay Buttsex - Oh Good Lord NO!

2007-05-13T20:19:00.000+08:00

Ah, Yvonne Lee, noted lawyer and lecturer in the National University of Singapore hates butt-sex. No really, she does. The concept of a big (or small) shlong sliding in and out of someone's bunghole really gets in her craw. That is the only explanation I can come up with why she is against homosexuality.

Let me point out that I agree with her totally. I hate buttsex too. The very thought of having a cucumber-sized (or even lima bean sized) body appendage thrust painfully up my nether regions makes me wince. My asshole is made for one-way traffic, not two. Things go out, not in. It is a unidirectional production line in the value chain of life. I rather would die of prostate cancer than have some doctor stick a rubberised glove up my poop-chute, really.

Which is why I have a perfect solution to the problem, not to have buttsex!

Now if only Yvonne Lee would think up that. I mean come on, the woman is a fucking professor in Singapore's premier university. Surely a solution like that is not that complicated?! If she doesn't like butt-sex, she can just choose not to have it.

Instead of which she chooses the ridiculous alternative: Supporting the criminalization of ALL homosexual activity, regardless of whether dongs or or fingers are involved. She is even against the concept of a man holding hands with another man in public.

Yvonne mentioned that It is a known medical fact that homosexual intercourse or sodomy is an inherently unhealthy act that carries higher risks of a number of sexually transmitted infections. The law should not facilitate acts which threaten public health.

Doesn't that mean that ALL forms of buggery should be banned, homosexual or otherwise? Is Yvonne willing to break into the house of the otherwise "well adjusted" civil servant doing the dirty to his wife's poopchute and slap the irons on his errant penis? Is she willing to speak out on the evils of anal violation to groups of teenagers far too willing to experiment with their sexuality? Hell for all she knows, her own kids engage in all sorts of vile sexual activities that include at some point a trip up the chocolate factory anyway. Is she willing to be our moral crusader?

[MINOR DIGRESSION OF SORTS]
You know what, this gives me an idea. Singapore had the Courtesy Lion as a mascot for courtesy, and it's high time we got a new mascot for something. Let us have a mascot banning buttsex! Let's call him (has to be a him, for we know only filthy gays engage in dirty buttsex no?) Bungno! He can be a multireligious, multiracial parrot that speaks out against Butt-piracy! A parrot against piracy, how fucking brilliant is that?! Hell I have even found an image of the fucking mascot here: http://www.anchoragebucs.com/parrotsm.gif (Apparently it belongs to some baseball team but fuck them Yanks, this is a national emergency).

He can use his baseball bat of righteousness to smash up all those filthy butt-sexers. Praise fucking Jesus!

[END OF MINOR DIGRESSION OF SORTS]

Anyway all that aside, I am wondering what really does this woman have against gays. I mean, how does decriminalising something like homosexuality "ignores the nature of Singapore's multireligious, multiracial community." What the fuck has buggering gay sex have to do with race?! I never understood this about the Singaporean elite. why do they ALWAYS have to bring race into any issue? Singapore is not the only fucking multiracial, multireligious city, shithoses. Most cosmopolitan cities are far more multiracial and multireligious than Singapore will ever be.

What the fuck has this to do with religion as well? Hey, Singapore allows gambling, which is against the principles of religion, it allows fucking prostitution to be carried out and even taxes it, and those are fine, but two consenting adult males or females doing the dirty in a seedy motel in Geylang suddenly has her moralising panties in a twist?

Furthermore, she says therefore, the attention given to fundamental moral values of the majority of citizens by retaining S377A (the act criminaling homosexuality) in its entirety strikes the right balance.

What moral values of the majority of citizens? How the fuck does she know what the majority are thinking? What happened to this same majority who opposed the setting up of casinos here? What happened to this same majority who didn't give a rat's dick about the World Bank having its conferences here?

You know for someone who hates anal violation she seems to be enjoying the idea of shitting on herself, as is evident from this paragraph. Warning, the logical fallacies will cause your penises to shrink, your brains to explode and cause you to suddenly want to have sex with Lisa Minelli.

Ready? Here goes: While the law embodies a moral judgment, it is not always prudent for the law to punish all immoral behaviour. However, to draw an analogy between adulterers and homosexuals is fallacious. Adulterers do not seek societal approval, but certain homosexual activists campaign to alter the public mindset and to gain legal and social endorsement of the gay lifestyle.

There.. Don't say I didn't warn you. So certain homosexual activists campaign to gain legal and social endorsement of the gay lifestyle, as she claims. Even IF that was true (although most just want to have hot gay lubed buttplugging in bathtubs in colour co-ordinated bathrooms or something), EVEN IF (Oh what a big if!) that was the "gay agenda", and let us assume it is. I have a four word question. Yeah? And? So? What?!

So WHAT if they seek legal and social endorsement? How does that change anything about the fact that most of us still would rather fuck chicks? How does legal endorsement of their lifestyle change the fact that I still want to do the dirty with the hot babe from CMU I met on the street eight weekends ago? How does decriminalising anal porkage change the fact that most men still would rather fuck pussies, thank you very much? She seems to claim that just because buttsexing between men is legal, suddenly we all would want to do each other's assholes and that is oh so fucking wrong because, well because... oh because it's wrong dammit! Shut up and fuck your wife missionary, like a good Singaporean man should, and produce more kids already!

Or, it's about the children, I hear you say. Well, fuck the children. They are smart enough to know which team they want to play for. Let's give them a bit more credit, shall we? If they are so easily influenced, I have a suggestion. Let's influence them to play with sharp, burning electrical objects as well. Our genepool needs the Chlorox anyway.

According to her professorial world view, adultery should not be criminalised although it often destroys families and ruins lives but two men plugging away at each others' anal orifices is somehow wrong? This woman is a law lecturer in a university, and it is telling about the quality of graduates they produce there. You know I agree with her views on buttsex totally for one more reason. After all, that is where NUS law graduates come from.

The Online Citizen

2007-04-13T08:29:00.000+08:00

Folks,

As you are aware, I almost NEVER post links to other blogs on my site, but this is one site I think deserves mention on the Evil Atheist.

The Online Citizen was started by a member of one of Singapore's opposition parties and unlike the Evil Atheist, posts pretty much regularly in language that you can use on your 8 year old daughter or 80 year old grandma. Also unlike the Evil Atheist, the guy who runs the Online Citizen seems pretty much normal and friendly and does not write like someone who is in serious need of powerful medication. I don't know him and probably never will, but he seems like a nice enough guy from his site. While the Evil Atheist would rather a few choice insults be thrown at the general direction of the Building Across Boat Quay, the Online Citizen prefers a far more amicable and friendly approach. The views of the writers there are far more balanced, and although a bit too "tame" for the Evil Atheist's tastes, the site is completely free of tasteless dick jokes and cracks about the Son's testicles being locked up in a jade box on top of his wife's mantelpiece. All of this is in a very readable and navigable format.

Also unlike the Evil Atheist, the focus of the site is pretty much geared to local politics, so if you want to hear about how the poor continued to get shafted by bullshit phrases like "Workfare" while the mandarins run off with their millions, you should read the Online Citizen. The site also has very extensive archives about every significant political event in Singapore and generally adopts a balanced approach to them, while the Evil Atheist prefers to talk about how Chee Soon Juan is bleeding rectally.

If you want extensive coverage of local politics, by all means visit The Online Citizen at http://theonlinecitizen.com. If you want to find out more ways of making fun of the manhoods of The Father and The Son and the First FamiLee, then by all means come to visit the Evil Atheist. You'll know where to find him.

So spend a few minutes reading their stuff. Don't say I never did anything for you assholes.

Oh and by the way, the owner of The Online Citizen did not bribe me with pouting nymphettes with baby oil, nor did he threaten me with ritual disembowelment with a chicken foot. In fact, the poor fuck probably doesn't even know I wrote this. It's just my way of bringing some education to the mindless drooling pervs who still come here looking for pics of Pamela Anderson fucking sheep or Paris Hilton putting a large aubergine up her mudcave (I really wish I was making these up). If you don't believe me, click on the site meter at the top of this site and see the referrals.

The Father shits his pants... Again

2007-04-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

Sigh, this has become an embarrassment. The man is starting to become a laughing stock and the sooner we shut him up, the better Singaporeans will look.

You know you're in trouble when a Singaporean tells you "From now on I am telling everyone I am Malaysian".

In a parliamentary debate (oh shock! We still have those things!) the Father was challenged (yes, apparently one of the chumps there found his testicles that day). In a debate that he will not forget in a hurry, he was asked what was the need for paying him and his ilk US$2 million a year when all he probably did these days was try not to eat and drool at the same time. The Son already draws said paycheque and well, with Singaporeans still nowhere near the "Swiss" standard of living promised in 1995, there were enough MP's with the gumption to challenge the Father and Son on drawing more money than the President of the US, and the Prime Ministers of the UK, Australia and Hong Kong combined. While he was asking that, he might have also questioned the wisdom of paying RETIRED ministers a million a year but let's not expect too much from these beauties in Parliament. It is hard to ask questions when your lips are jousting for place on the bottoms of the Father and the Son. Even asking a question of this sort requires a class of courage not often seen in those hallowed halls.

The Father's response was as usual acerbic, sharp, precise, and completely irrelevant. Apart from pissing off Europe and the rest of the region, it showed an abysmal failure to grasp basics of logic and proved to me that indeed, the Father was starting to experience a second childhood, with simple ideas and simple thoughts clouding his little brain.

The MP's question was short enough: He questioned the need for such high salaries for ministers and top civil servants to prevent corruption. He said Singapore ranked below Finland, Denmark and Switzerland, in a UN report on how corrupt a country is, but these countries pay their top civil servants less than Singapore.

Not a very smart way of putting it, you say? Too timid you think? Well I am sure the poor man was already quaking in his boots when he tabled the question, and tried to sugar coat it as much as possible.

But all that was lost on the Father. He responded with his usual candour and "wit" thus: Does he realise that Singapore's GDP is only one-third of its external trade? Our external trade is 3 1/2 times that of our GDP, higher than Hong Kong. And if this economy ever falters, that's the end of Singapore and its First World status. Denmark, Switzerland and Finland are part of Europe. You can fail and you're still caught in the European situation. If you fail here, you go back to a Southeast Asian situation. Just look around you,"

The first thing that came to my mind was "what the FUCK has that got to do with corruption?". The Father seems to think that just by responding like an angry, spoilt brat somehow gives his words more value than they deserve. What on earth does the fact that Singapore's economy is trade centred have to do with ministerial pay and government corruption? The second question that came to my mind was: So WHAT if those countries are in Europe? How can that mean that they can "afford" to fail? Doesn't the All Knowing Father know that Switzerland and Finland are not in the European Union? What the fuck does "Caught in the European situation" mean? And what the fuck was he trying to say by saying " If you fail here, you go back to a Southeast Asian situation. Just look around you"? Just look around me for what?! From what I see, MAlaysia and Indonesia are doing very well economically. Thailand as well, despite being shaken by the tossing out of Thaksin. Vietnam is developing into a regional powerhouse and even fucking Laos is starting to get its act together. I would think "being caught in a Southeast Asian situation" is a good thing no?

"So is the Minister Mentor saying that without paying such a high salary, we are bound to fail? And even if we pay top earners' salary, can the present government bring Singapore up to superpower (status), as what he has mentioned for those in Denmark?" challenged Mr Low, MP for Hougang.

"I am putting a simple question and asking for his clarification. He has compared Singapore as if it were Denmark, Finland or Switzerland. Their systems and governments never produced the kind of transformation that we have, and their system and government have a broader base and can afford a mediocre government," said the Minister Mentor.

Now I am a pretty reasonable man. Let us look at just one instance: Finland, the Poorest of the Three. Finland was ravaged by World War 2, received nothing in return, was run to the ground by commies till 1991 and built the economy back up pretty much from scratch to become an industrialised powerhouse it is today with a GDP per capita of US$40000. Compare that with Singapore, which had a pretty easy post WW2 history, with the Brits providing infrastructure and development, perfect nexus for a port and little or no political turmoil since 1950's (fuck Konfrontasi) and a GDP of US29800. I would say that Finland had a greater transformation, natural resources notwithstanding, than Singapore but the fuck do I know? I am not The Father.

Also, sadly he did not explain what the fuck he meant by "their system and government have a broader base and can afford a mediocre government". Probably the Father was talking about his new toilet fixture, I don't know. How on earth does one conclude that countries like Switzerland, Denmark and Finland have "mediocre" governments when they are doing so well and in fact far better than Singapore, I'll never know.

The Father wants 3 million? I have a revolutionary idea. Let us pay the Father 10 million. Yes, 10 million just so he shuts the fuck up and not make Singaporeans look like complete dickwads to the world. I would consider it money well spent.

Random Acts of Directed Anger Issue 2 - Fuck Emos

2007-03-26T10:01:00.000+08:00

Folks,

I know I am flogging a dead horse with this one. I know that I have mentioned that emos have got to go, preferably in a humourous fashion and that I consider them to be a shitstain on the underwear of humanity. We don't need them, and the sooner they die, the better the world will be.

I know I had made that abundantly clear.

But for some reason, like a sore tooth that you can't quit touching (TM Bill Hicks), I have to revisit this topic, especially in light of this article in the Straitjacket Times about emos.

Let me dissect the pieces, if I may. The article says, and I quote:

But the defining trademark for emo kids has to be the heavily lined eyes and long fringed hair which covers half their face.

The point of that, said emo teen Mervyn Lee, 17, a polytechnic student, is because 'we are tortured souls unable to face the world'.

Oh really, you fucking piece-of-cock, dogfucker? You are a tortured soul in what way? Dad refused to get you that fucking Chemical Romance CD you've been pestering him for the past two hours? Your fucking eyeliner ran out? Got your cock caught in the zipper of your fucking emo jeans? Fuck you, you piece of shit. Tortured soul? Bet your ass your soul will be tortured if I had my way. Not only your soul but also your fucking microcephalic skull. You know what? IF you're fucking unable to face the world, do us all a favour, and kill yourself. Lick a whore's ass, shoot yourself in the groin (in case some emo chick wants to fuck your rigor mortified dick, thus producing more fucked up emos), slit your arm off... anything. As the fucking Nike ads used to say, "JUST MOTHERFUCKING DO IT!" Damn you fuckers are stupid.

The article goes on to say, As it is, some emo teens have penned poems about suicide and death and slashing their wrists to 'ease their pain''.

Now folks, I am not talking about clinical depression and its related symptoms. There are people I know who suffer this shit and it's not funny. But what the fuck does some insect-brained, Pepsi swilling, spawn of a Volvo-driving empty fucking suit have to be fucking depressed about, huh? In fact the article specifically says, When pressed, they admitted there were no issues that were really depressing. Right.

The fuck is wrong with us? Why on earth should we entertain these fucktards who give people with real problems a bad name? What kind of a fucking parent would let their kid do something like this?

Her 16-year-old daughter wears under-sized, worn-out tees over tight black jeans. On weekends, the Secondary 4 girl also wears two lip rings and six earrings on one ear alone.

Mrs Lim recently discovered that her daughter cuts her wrists with a razor. She is trying to get her to seek help.

Am I the only one who sees the solution to this shit? Your fucking kids are spoilt because you're to fucked up to raise them. You need help, not them. Whatever the fuck happened just telling them no? Sheesh... if you can't control them at 14, is it really surprising if they end up face down in the fucking pavement of Stamford hotel at 18?

WHY TEEN CUTS HIMSELF
'It's a form of expression, just like the poems I write. I will go mad if I can't, don't have these forms of release.'
AN 18-YEAR-OLD EMO TEEN

Oh mother of mercy! I don't know about others, but I'd rather be fucking plain batshit crazy and alive, than sane and dead. Waht the fuck is "other forms of release" anyway? Whatever happened to just fucking reading a book or even day dreaming? But then again, if their poetry is an expression of what they really are, I hereby declare a fatwa against these mental midgets, for crimes against literature. Let's all hunt emos for sport.

I am Hades, the one true messenger of Mike, and I have spoken.

Mike Commemorates the Evil Atheist

2007-03-09T08:39:00.000+08:00

Folks,

For my 100th post, as a reward for all you fans out there who read this shit, (yes, all three of you), I have let Mike take over this entry, so speak through me Mike!

Good day to you people, this is Mike. You know me as Jesus, Allah, Krishna, Ahura Mazda, or any multitude of names, but I would rather be called something simple, like "Mike" or anything, really. I like to keep informal house.

Anyway, I have appeared often on this site, and as a personal favour for my favour to my friend and prophet, Hades, I have come again to give you a distilled synopsis of my wisdom, stuff that even the smelliest lowlife amongst you can understand. I also want to get a couple of things off my divine chest (not this), and one them is this: I don't exist. No really, I don't. You're asking then, "how the fuck is he able to write an entry on the Evil Atheist website?", ah that is the glory of Mike. I leave it to you to figure it out.

Secondly, I don't answer prayers. There was a time when I gave a shit but nowadays there are six fucking billion of you asking me everything from being blown by Janet Jacme to keeping it hard till you stick it in some airheaded cunt I couldn't give two shits about. You really think I want to hear that shit? I have feelings too you know and I don't need to know how long you want it to be or how long you want it to last, and I am referring to YOU, Mr. Lee Hsien Loong! I am aghast you're even thinking of getting it on with that man-woman of yours you call a wife! Christ, she'd make a dildo go limp. Keep your fucking sordid fantasies to yourselves.

In fact now I wish you people answer a prayer of mine, STOP FUCKING BREEDING! I am already having my hands full steering a planet away from the fucking apocalypse here, and your fucking little bundles of joy are not making any easier for me, you know. You fucking Catholics better get on with the fucking programme, and get your asses out of the fucking middle ages. Contraception works you fuckers, because I invented it. Yes, I Mike in all my infinite wisdom invented a tool so simple, yet so effective, an idiot could use it; a condom. It is not a fucking sin to put a bit of rubber on your dick, and anyone who tells you otherwise, is a fucking fool.

Speaking of sin, there isn't such a thing. Nope. No such thing as sin. Believe me, if I came up with such a concept, the biggest "sin" would be stupidity, and I would have just pack the whole lot of you into fucking Hell. But no, I love you motherfuckers, even those mouthbreathers amongst you who pray over a sick kid instead of taking her to a fucking doctor, so there is no "sin", there is no "heaven" nor is there "hell", but I do have some plans for some of you fucks when you pop your clogs. I am looking at you, priests who fuck around with altar boys.

I want to leave you all with a final message that I passed down to an earlier prophet, George Carlin. I even had JESUS fucking deliver it to him and you all still didn't get it, so here I go again. Do NOT give money to your churches. If anything, they must be giving money to you for showing up for that kind of personal abuse.

I am Mike, and I have spoken. Glory be to the name of Mike.

Would you take anger management lessons from the Evil Atheist?

2007-03-07T08:42:00.000+08:00

Folks,

I am hereby announcing my decision to go into the self help business. Specifically, the Evil Atheist wants to conduct seminars on anger management, depression, and solving life issues. Seriously. I mean so many of the visitors to the Evil Atheist's site claim that he is so angry, so certainly I am fully qualified to do this, no? No? Then explain this to me, fuckers...

Rocker Courtney Love has sparked concern about Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie's plans to work as camp counsellors for children in a TV series, after claiming drugs were readily available at Hilton's recent birthday party.

Who the FUCK would send their kids to a camp run by Paris fucking Hilton?! What possibly could be taught in that camp that kids need to know?! Fuck, when a druggie slut like Courtney LOVE can call you out for stashing drugs, you have no business being around little kids in the first place. Imagine what it would be like spending a day with the Queen Bimbo as she tries to figure out which end of a matchstick is a functional one, or trying to decipher the myriad workings of a fucking camp stove and an electric oven.

The fact that the fucking Foundation for Jewish Camping actually hired these cumbubbles goes to show, religion can really fuck your head up. What the fuck do these two cunts have in common with fucking Judaism?! You know what? I am hoping some of these kids turn out fucked up. If a parent is too fucking dumb to know whom they're sending their kids camping to, they deserve to be murdered in their sleep by those very same fucking kids. Fuck them.

So therefore, the Evil Atheist shall now offer counselling and therapy sessions, a revolutionary new approach to solving all your life's problems within one hour. That's it, one hour. Problems in life? Cannot get along with your pet rottweiler? Your wife ran away with a paraplegic midget? Got your dick caught in the zipper when in bed with that hot dish you've been eyeing since 10th grade? Put your worries behind you, and allow the Evil Atheist to help. He truly cares for you and wants the best for you and your family.

Treatment shall constitute you bitching about your pathetic life for 59 minutes, and me telling you to "Shut the fuck up" in the last. Beats spending a fortune at some overhyped shrink nodding off to sleep at a hundred bucks an hour and making you come back again and again so you can feel worse about youself, doesn't it? No matter what your problem is, you can rant and rave at me, and at the end I shall give you my patented advice that will help you get on with life and pull you up by your socks. Bring your kids along as well, and they will learn much more from the Evil Atheist in one hour than from a night with Paris. Unless you are trying to turn her into a whore, in which case you might want to hide Paris's camera. You're welcome and thank you Denis Leary, you worthless bag of shit.

Consultation fee negotiable, so come on down to the Evil Atheist Happy Fun Centre and try out his patented "Shut The Fuck Up" approach to solving your life issues.

You people are sick fucks

2007-02-21T12:47:00.000+08:00

Folks,

All those hundreds of you who suddenly started reading my blog looking for 'Shaila Nair', I want you to go away. No, I want you all to die, preferably in an amusing fashion. You fucking deserve to have your cocks beaten into your fucking bodies with sledge-hammers. You are an affront to all that is good and masculine. Go and kill yourself.

Just TWO WORDS, Two fucking words about some minister's daughter-in-law in fucking Malaysia drove HUNDREDS of sexually inadequate, emotionally retarded, drooling, sub-human dimwits to this site, in search of:

a> Her sex video
b> Her fucking suicide
c> Both

You know who you are, you bunch of sick whackjobs. You fucks are probably still sitting out there, leering, dick in hand, bottle of lube by the mouse hoping to see a digitised pussy-shot of this bimbotic airhead of a cunt who is obviously too stupid to be in the same fucking room as a loaded dick. Stop wasting my oxygen, you bunch of ignorant motherfuckers. I hope you all lose your left testicles to mouse-electrocution. What on earth made you think you find that fucking video on a site named "EVIL ATHEIST"? That's EVIL fucking ATHEIST motherfucker, not "UGLY OLD BITCH FUCKING". Learn to fucking be a bit more discerning, will ya?!

Let me dissect the damage here. My site attracts an average of 20-40 visitors a day, and ever since the entry I posted on February 5th, it shot up to hundreds a day, 95% of whom search for the SAME TWO FUCKING WORDS. Please, do me and the genepool a favour, and go kill yourself. If you are that fucking desperate for action that you are willing to come to a site named "EVIL ATHEIST" for your tit porn needs, you are a stain on the fabric of humanity, and testicular cancer is too good for you people. Go get a fucking life, for crying out loud, instead of trying to jack off to horribly produced handphone-porn, trying to decipher which of the fucking pixels represent poontang.

The last thing The Evil Atheist needs is scores of dumb jackoffs, too stupid to even find their fly buttons, accidentally stumbling into his site. Let me not be the one to tell you what porn you can and cannot watch, so please do not come to my site to try and acquire kilobyte videos of horrible fucking. Go to fucking bangbros or something and buy their shit and jack off to college fuckfest or some such shit. Leave the Evil Atheist free to rant by himself without interference from you fuckblintzes. Fuck, I have a regular fan-base to take care of, and the last thing I need to worry about is the kind of dickwad who can barely spell 'pron' rummaging through my site like a pig looking for truffles.

So seriously cut your head off, lick a whore's ass, anything. Just go and die.

Fat, ugly, ex-stripper dies. Do you give a fuck?

2007-02-13T09:40:00.000+08:00

The headlines on CNN blared: Reality TV star Anna Nicole Smith dies at 39! Being incapacitated with a bad case of tonsilitis I read on.

Finally. The gold-digging skank-bitch kicked the bucket, thus cutting short what promised to be a career filled with meaningless media appearances, eating enough food to feed half of Somalia for a week in one sitting, bitching about how the world is so fucked up to her because she sees a need to devour an entire refrigerator for lunch. Fuck Anna Nicole Smith. Fuck her up the ass with a broken tree trunk.

What? Doesn't the fact that LARRY FUCKING KING said "she was a woman with some class" ring alarm bells in the head? Way to boost that fucking credibility of yours, Larry you senile fuck. The only class that skank had in her was the entire class of '95 from the University of Southern California. While millions died of genocide in fucking Darfur, Sudan, the media attention was focussed on this hillbilly, two-volt-brained, gold-digging skank of a 'celebrity' whose greatest contribution to humanity was fucking a billionaire tycoon to death and then killing herself in an entirely humourous way. The very fact that now ten different men are claiming they fathered her child shows that this was a cunt who would fuck a kitchen sink if it had an extra long tap. Why does the media focus on this bitch? How fucking hypocritical are we that we ignore a fucking genocide in one part of the world and yet spend inordinate amounts of time pondering over a rich, stupid cunt whose only claim to fame has been the removal from the genepool of a creature that looked like something out of Steven Spielberg's alien movies.

It really shows where our priorities lie. Fuck CNN. And come to think of it, Fuck you too.

Sex sells, including kids blowing grown men

2007-02-08T09:56:00.000+08:00

Folks,

What the fuck is up with men who want to fuck kids? No, really. How on earth does one go about getting turned on by the sight of naked babies? Seriously?

You know, when I read a news story like this:

Austrian authorities said Wednesday they have uncovered a major international child pornography ring involving more than 2,360 suspects from 77 countries, including hundreds in the United States, who paid to view videos of young children being sexually abused.

The children were under the age of 14 and screams could be heard, said Harald Gremel, an Austrian police expert on Internet crime who headed the investigation.

I just have to ask, WHY?! Humans are the only creatures in the fucking universe to actually want to fuck their own juveniles. And it's not just some scrummy freak perversion that can be explained away as a statistical anomaly. The article goes on to say that about 2,400 men across 77 countries were caught in the latest bust. SEVENTY FUCKING SEVEN countries. And those are just the fucks they caught. Imagine the thousands that got away. It's bad enough WANTING to fuck kids, but what kind of a sick, perverted mentality wants to watch some fat semi-retarded, social misfit trying to stick his semi-limp, inadequate, wart ravaged dick into the snatch of a kicking 5 year old? I mean, where is the sexual thrill to be derived from watching this shit?

I mean I can understand why some dickwad might want to dress up as Lisa Minelli while his wife runs about the house naked except for a wizard's hat before jumping onto him from the fucking ceiling fan. Hell, if that is what it takes for them to keep the fucking 'magic' alive, more power to them, but what the FUCK is the logic behind wanting to see someone get dirty with a 6 year old kid? What are these people doing still polluting our genepool?

An acquaintance told me, it's about the need for power. Apparently these men feel so damn inadequate they have to exercise their manliness on the most vulnerable section of society, fucking kids. Oh really? I don't buy that argument for one simple reason. There were times almost every fucking one of us felt inadequate about some thing or the other. That does not mean that I immediately have the urge to go rip the clothes off some fucking 10 year old and go down on her! If inadequacy and lack of power really caused men to turn into paedophiles, then explain Michael Jackson to me. This is a guy who had groupies willing to blow him dawn to dusk, and he decided to do a Burger King act: sticking his 40 year old meat in 10 year old buns. While the power hypothesis might explain why catholic priests want to get it on with altar boys, it does not explain why the fuck would someone want to watch that kinda stuff for shits and giggles. I don't get chubs watching fucking Hitler's greatest speeches or something.

The internet is starting to bring up humanity's hidden garbage, and the more news like this comes up, the more it is blatantly obvious that we are anything but civilised. Behind the facade of civilisation lies humanity's true colours, that of savage beasts. Fuck, we're barely better than animals and in far many ways, we're worse off. Not to say this is a bad thing, because it makes humanity so much more entertaining. Imagine if we were just like other species? How boring would life then be without rampant paedophilia, serial killers, NAMBLA, Al Qaeda, molesting priests, George W Bush etc?

I was also reading about how more and more animal groups wanted to outlaw animal testing of products and medicines. Immediately I hit upon a solution to rehabilitate these deranged misfits who produce kiddie porn into society while protecting animals; test subjects for experimental drugs. Simple, clean and no loss of innocent life, and besides, as I pointed out earlier, these fucks are worse off than animals anyway. Too grotesque? Too inhumane? Hear me out, will ya? Now in Singapore, we have the death penalty for stupid shit like drug trafficking and yet when a guy sticks his cock down the throat of a 2 year old, we let him off with a few years in the slammer. Fuck that, let's use these fuckers as test subjects for medicines and drugs. Let us help them contribute to society and point out that just as they don't appreciate receiving genital herpes through a needle, many kids also do not appreciate them jamming their needles into their various body orifices. Let them contribute to medical science, and maybe when they are plucking at the canker sores around their anal cavities, they might get a chance to reflect on how fucked up it is to want to fuck kids.

Of course on the other hand we could just outlaw Catholicism and half these drooling perverts would be out of work and kids to bugger.

Do we really need these kids? - Random Acts of Directed Anger Issue 1

2007-02-06T12:45:00.000+08:00

Folks,

Welcome to the latest addition to the Evil Atheist: Random Acts of Directed Anger. Normally, the Evil Atheist's rants tend to make liberal use of foul language, but Random Acts of Directed Anger would specifically rip apart certain subjects with extra venom.

For the inaugural issue, I want you all to take a good look at this article from the Daily Telegraph, and decide for yourself, if we really need these mouthbreathers wasting our precious natural resources.

Helpline for fearful fans of Harry Potter
By Nigel Reynolds, Arts Correspondent

Waterstone's is looking to set up a helpline for fans of Harry Potter because two important characters in JK Rowling's saga will die in the last instalment to be published this summer.

The book chain forecast that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows would become not only the best-selling Harry Potter title but the biggest selling book in history. But that may not bring unalloyed happiness to the nation because of Rowling's warning about the deaths.

Debbie Williams, of Waterstone's, said yesterday: "This could be a similar moment to when Take That split up — there could be a lot of upset teenagers out there. We are looking to set up a helpline for them."

Now I am a reasonable chap. I would think that kids who have been reading this bilge from Rowling since 5 years ago would be old enough to know what is fucking fiction and what is not. Now if they can't make that distinction in their lives, I hope they die and I want them to die. No sympathy from me.

Now if the fact that an anticlimactic juggernaut of a book that has been the culmination of a series of increasingly lost plot-lines, rambling non-issues, and poorly thought out twists in an increasingly stale plot being the largest selling book in history is not enough to make your blood curdle, then surely the fact that the publishers have to set up helplines to handle the fallout of a fake, one-dimensional character or two dying is a sign of the fucking apocalypse. I don't blame the book publisher though, although they are partly responsible for the turd that is clogging up the toilet of humanity's great misdimeanours that is Harry Potter. No, I blame fucking society for producing such fucked up kids. The fact that there are some kids that are so fucking shallow that they need to come up with a helpline to handle the death of two fictional characters shows how fucked society can become at times. Folks, remember this: If you need a fucking counsellor to handle the emotional pain on the bereavement of a fake human being then you need to fucking die. End of argument. Don't give me the "Oh I am lonely and Harry was my only friend". Fuck you.

Where the fuck are our values? Why do we need to save these fucking brat-spawn of upper middle class, sundried tomato-eating, piece-of-shit emotional fuckbuckets who think the world ought to stop what it's doing and listen to their meaningless tantrums about a group of industry-approved fictional characters? Shouldn't we be saving kids who, I don't know, maybe a bit grateful for the intervention? Fuck, if some cunt wants to jump off the fucking Empire State Building, I'll be glad to sit back and cheer her on. We are protecting these fucking kids, mollycoddling them and making them come out thinking just because they exist, they are fucking entitled to everything. Fuck them. Life sucks because Hermione fucking Granger caught anal warts and died lonely, in a pool of her own solid waste? Tough luck, Shitcock. Now get your crying ass to school.

I can bet you five gets you ten that somewhere in this setup, their fucking parents were involved. Campus-liberal, pseudo-intellectual, Volvo-driving, inane, puerile fuckwad parents who think that just because they got fucking kids, the whole world ought to fucking worship them.

Here is the Evil Atheist's view on your kids (inspired by George Carlin's fantastic rant: Fuck the Children): FUCK THEM. You have turned them into fucking attention-whores. They need to learn the hard way that the fucking world does not revolve around them, and that they need to suck up and face life, not be shielded from it at every turn. If they are too fucking dumb to realise the difference between reality and fucking fiction and not know where to draw the line between dreamland and dour reality, the blame lies squarely with you and it should not be the fucking responsibility of the book publisher to handle the fucking fallout. Do us a favour, and kill your kids and then kill yourselves. I can rent you a knife for a reasonable fee.

What the fuck kind of a message are we sending to kids? That it's fucking okay to be a tantrum-throwing, attention-seeking shallow cumbubble?

You know, just out of spite, I hope Harry fucking Potter dies. I hope he dies in some seedy cul de sac, naked, with his brain fried on fucking crack, a giant steel dildo sticking out of his ass and Ron's dick in his mouth. I hope he kills everyone else in the fucking book by giving them anally transmitted HIV too. Now if THAT was in the last book, I would gladly plonk $30 on the counter of fucking Borders to read it.

I am available for childrens' parties by the way. (Thank you, Bill Hicks)

Terrorist Bloggers!

2007-02-05T15:47:00.000+08:00

Folks,

Recently it was announced that the rulers of Singapore are embarking on a 'counter insurgency' campaign against bloggers who don't post items in favour of the ruling class. YES, they actually are calling bloggers like mr brown and others 'insurgents', which is of course a euphemism for 'terrorists'. I suppose the Evil Atheist is guilty as well, while certainly not attracting an audience of millions that the others command, has his own fanatical following of three. Two of whom aren't even family members!

Now normally the Evil Atheist would love it that an establishment figure like the gubmint of Singapore is actually calling a bunch of bloggers 'terrorists'. The Evil Atheist would love to disagree with the government, pointing out the numerous blogs out there that exist that point out real, honest criticism of government policy, sites that really seem to exist solely to inform and educate the normally compliant and desensitised local populace about real issues in an unbiased manner. The government was making it too easy for bloggers, or so I thought.

It was then that I saw the number of hits I got for an entry on Shaila Nair and Paris Hilton I posted barely hours ago.

It was then that I reviewed some of the entries and nominees for the Shitblog Awards (2007).

It was then that I rememberd that for inexplicable reason, a peroxided psuedo-blonde chinese girl is one of the most read sites on the internet.

I therefore change my stand. If the Singapore government can promise me that they would play their part in ensuring the elimination of these floating turds in our gene pool, I would heartily support their 'counter insurgency'.

If the Singapore government will promise me a Xiaxue-free internet, I would even chip in with a few bucks to aid the 'war effort'.

If the Singapore government is willing to publicly execute every person who asks for crappy videos of bad fucking, or who searches for that stuff in my blog I would heartily laud their efforts and even stop making fun of the First Familee.

If the Singapore government can bitchslap some sense into annoying, prepubescent, emotionally retarded, mindless droning bubblegum bitches who think that their life sucks because their cat had to be castrated or their Myspace account crashed, I would gladly volunteer my effort and time for such a noble cause.

Until then, what the fuck does the government hope to achieve by doing something this retarded? Do they really think their anonymous comments won't be traced back to them? Worse still, now every fucking douchebag who makes a pro-government comment would be seen as being in the pockets of the PAP. Is this what the government wants?

The government also aims to do it 'anonymously'. Right. I wonder what happened to all the bluster about taking responsibility for your words and actions that the PAP and their winged monkeys love to spout when suing the pants off some schmuck blogger. So when it comes to the internet where the world can laugh at your silly insecure ass and you can't go crying to the courts, it becomes necessary to hide behind the curtain of anonymity? Why Mr. Troll, if you're so convinced of your party's views and stand, do you need to hide behind a false name? Why don't you just remove that sheep's outfit so the rest of the world can see what a pathetically snivelling wolf you really are.

And please, get on with the times. If you really go through with this project, you will be not only the laughing stock of Singapore, but the world itself. Leave us the fuck alone and go find more ways of making million while sitting on your ass and digging your nose.

Note to Singaporeans: The GST hike is funding this kinda crap. Think about it.

Shaila Nair, Paris Hilton, Who's Next?

2007-02-05T14:15:00.000+08:00

What the fuck is up with people going for crappy videos produced on tiny little mobile phones and hand held video cameras? Damn, if one more person asks me about the Shaila Nair video, I swear I shall personally pluck his/her eyeball out with a ball point pen. What the fuck is there to appreciate about porn that has been produced for viewing on a two by two inch screen? Who the fuck gets turned on by pixelated nipples and moans that sound like a water heater in distress? So she is the daughter in law of some fucking jackoff minister in Malaysia. Since when did that become a qualifying point to do porn? In the age of 18 year olds willing to get it on with geriatrics, do we really need this shoddily shot, two bit reel featuring a 32 year old hag and some schmuck who probably has just figured out how to use his spanking new mobile phone?

Another train wreck in the history of porn production: Paris Hilton, the Queen of Skank. Apparently there is a huge market for naked anorexic, airheaded, assembly line produced dumb blonde bimbos. Who gives a fuck if this bitch is a Hilton? Are we that hard up for jerking material that we really need to beat off to the sight of this peptobismol-pink airhead seen under infrared imaging? Fuck, human beings should not look green under any circumstances, let alone fucking.

Folks, if you want to jack off to porn, at least make sure it's well made. If you are so crazy about videos of bad fucking, why don't you just tape yourself doing it and watch it for shits and giggles? Oh right, you fucks don't get laid. Sorry.

Hypocrites

2007-01-29T08:14:00.000+08:00

Folks,

Angry rant. Those with weak bladders, stop reading now. Seriously.

For all those assbastard Australians who protested the hanging of Van Nguyen in Singapore for drug trafficking, where the fuck were your voices when a 19 year old Nigerian, Tochi Iwuchukwu was hanged this morning? You fuckers get all uppity and suddenly realise the value of life when one of your fucktards face the noose but when it is some black Nigerian kid, who gives a fuck. So that's the name of the game, isn't it? For all you know, Tochi Iwuchukwu is some new Japanese anime cartoon or something.

No wonder Singapore courts hang kids. You fucks only create a din when your own countrymen/women face the noose, and you fucks forget the basic tenet of justice. It cannot be implemented piecemeal. If Nguyen deserved to die, then Tochi deserved to die as well. Both were fucking equal in the eyes of the law and both died jerking. That was the law here, and it was implemented uniformly. Since you only protest when one of your fucking dumbass countrymen is facing the rope, the government here can go on to execute people because apart from a few strong words from the UNHRC and Amnesty, there is no real harm done to it.

If you wanted the Singaporean government to really impose a moratorium on all executions, you would have made it known to your precious little ambassadors here that you fucks are serious and protested EVERY fucking execution, but no. It only hurts when one of your guys die jerking at the end of the rope, doesn't it? Well, fuck you, you sanctimonious, racist, condescending pieces of shit. Your silence shows you don't really give a fuck about some poor black kid getting his neck broke even when he didn't know he was carrying heroin as long as it is not from your fucking backyard. It doesn't matter that some Indian or Pakistani fuck gets strung up for carrying shit that is legal in the streets of fucking Amsterdam, but when it is some Australian man or German woman, then you start getting your panties in a twist about how draconian the death penalty laws are in Singapore, right? No? Then where the fuck was the outcry that you raised when Nguyen was hanged? Where were those vigils outside the Singapore embassies in your fucking countries for Tochi? Of course there were none. You folks don't give a fuck. Please don't give me the usual crap, 'Oh we don't know about this'. Fuck you. With the internet at your fingertips you folks should have been fucking committed enough to keep yourself informed about Singapore's execution rates, especially after one of your own fucking countrymen was hanged but no, you didn't bother because you and your governments don't really give a fuck. You only care when it's your people who are dying, otherwise you shitcocks couldn't really give a rat's ass. Even Amnesty fucking International didn't mention it. They mentioned some dickwad Aussie fuck languishing in a US prison, but did not see it fit to mention that a kid was to be hanged this week in Singapore. AI, you can take those Human Rights Candles and stick them up your sanctimonious, holier-than-thou ass.

The next time you fucks protest some Aussie or American fuck about to be hanged here, do yourselves a favour and shut the fuck up. Let the fucker die jerking at the end of a rope because you hypocritical bastards don't give a shit about human life, unless it's American or Australian or some-such-rich-nation. Fuck you all to death.

Hate Mail Extraordinaire

2007-01-26T17:31:00.000+08:00

Folks,

Every now and then I receive hate mail, but there are times when it makes you start to stand back in awe at how much bullshit is capable of coming from one single human brain and a keyboard. One such mail came to me yesterday. I would start to rebut but I really wouldn't know how to respond to pure babble from the padded cell. But still, being the kind soul I am, trying to spread reason and good taste everywhere I have tried to the best of my ability to decipher this steaming pile of horseshit. I think at times he is talking about my old site, which was called Singapore Atheist, but I can't be too sure. This shitfaced cockmaster gets way too incoherent at points.

Folks, read below and stand back in fear. This person is proof why cousins shouldn't fuck.

Hello Hades,
This is Spidey from the same lands where you were rotting till 1996.

Cut the crap, dickwad. So you're from Bombay, India too. Say so.

No wonder I was forced to reply you for your page, not in the least that it is exceptional but for the taunt that you wanted to listen to some crap which is logic.

Just because we share the same city of origin does not mean that you have to respond to whatever I have to say, shitcock. I don't go about reading and responding to blogs every fucking Singaporean writes now, do I? Mind your own fucking business and leave me alone.

The problem of logic is that it too should rest on some principles. While there is no way I would start talking logic straightaway, I should at least begin pointing out some miserable inconsistencies of the logical truth in Hades. In the page where you rant away your background you have inadvertently placed a capitalised God flanking your logical promise that you will not! So much for a logic lovin Hades..... :-) ..... you would have called yourself Lucifer, if you were any wiser.
Capital letters are used to denote proper nouns dear.

Oh sweet Jesus on a fuckin pogo stick. I capitalised a G in god somewhere amongst the thousands of times I used that fucking word, and that somehow defies logic because I had said that I will not do that. Ever heard of typographical errors, dorko? But it's heartening to see someone reading my rants with such a fine toothed comb. Good job Sherlock. Wait for Scotland Yard to give you that opportunity you've been dying for all these years. And cut the 'dear' crap out, you pretentious, anonying cumbubble.

I wonder whether deep in your mind there is still a conglomeration of cells craving for the existence of this nonexisting God? For how else could you explain the foolishness of doing exactly the thing that you professed not to do?

And he rambles on and on.. Holy fucking shit, this guy reads so much into a capitalisation. Did it ever occur to him that just maybe the urge to capitalise the letter "G" in god has been rubbed into me due to twenty fucking years of convent school training that it is hard to break that habit? What a douchebag.

And to make things worse, documented it! You should really start reading "Carl Gustav Jung" on psychoanalysis.(If all this is nonsense, start decapitalising "I" as well, to show your sincerity! :-) )

This guy would do well in the Singapore legal system. Five gets you ten this schmuck is a lawyer somewhere.

The logic of the statements regarding "Tower of Babel' and "Evolutionary Biology" are diabolically even more obscure. For if Hades believes in evolution with real understanding and then expects people 6000 years before now to write stories of UFO visits surgical victories and what not in the Old Testament Bible, then it is as well that all the wise fools turn and take their chances with the devil, with him/her(him>her...:-)). And then whoever said that....... hmmm...I wont tell you this....you think this for yourself!... :-)

What the fuck is this guy talking about? Dude, drugs are bad, mmmkay? Someone give this dickwad an evolution 101 lesson please.

By the way why is the paper named "The Singapore Atheist". Where did'st thy patriotism vanish? Identity is one thing which keeps us doing the things which we do. If we lose it we lose everything. Think...THINK.....THINK AGAIN.... I didnt speak about the identity that everyone speaks about! For I do not believe in boundaries! Anyhow.. happy republic day! (this is sufficient to beat logic for this day)

Because I WAS IN FUCKING SINGAPORE, you shitcock. What the fuck did you want me to call it? And what the fuck is up with patriotism? So your identity simply comes from the place your parents-cousins fucked in? No wonder you're so fucked in the head.

Buddy, this is sincerely not to convince you of the existence of God nor a logic to explain the contrary. It is just to reveal you that the human mind is the master of tricks. The truth is right before us.... only that to see it we have to stop ignoring it! Isn't it said "look before you leap"? So then think before you write and speak. A man is as much a christian if he reads the bible and attends the church as he is a car if he gets into a garage and stands there all night! So I enjoy your joke when you said you were a christian for four months...:-). And I also enjoyed the joke when, based on his experiences in South Africa, Gandhi said "I like Christ and not the Christians! ". (What a paradox! He beat your logic back then...don't you think?)

AH! Now I see it. This schmuck is simply another fundy pretending to be the logical thinker. A sheep in wolf's clothing, to hash a metaphor. How does he magically know what kind of a christian I was? Typical fundy thinking: If you leave christianity, you never were a christian in the first place (hence the car and garage argument), and the usual spiel, "don't ignore the truth". Get thee behind me, asswipe, for Mike doth know how fucked up thou art.

I had thought I have yet to meet a christian and lo I found one who wants to meet a fundie yet who talks logic.
But don't mind my harsh words..... it is just to provoke you to think.
So, I suggest you start THINKing........ til you find an answer.....don't just babble....:-).

Folks, I leave it to you. Really. Now read what this guy has typed, and explain to this angry, babbling evil ranting atheist S.O.B. where is the logic in this genius's argument. If only his folks 'believed in' contraception!

Yours provokingly,
Tarantula197823

Fuck You,
Hades

P.S. Fuck Jung, you pseudophilosophising piece of dogshit. Learn to form your own fucking opinions, instead of trying to impress people with the latest trendy crap you imbibed from some bullshit philosophy course.

Hazelnut latte this, motherfucker!

2007-01-25T09:20:00.000+08:00

Folks,

Yes, Welcome me back you fucking douchebags because I am pissed off. Why am I pissed off? A friend of mine said, and I quote, "I would kill for a caramel macchiato" and that one sentence encapsulated what the fuck is wrong with us. That is why I am pissed off.

First off, what the fuck is a 'caramel macchiato'? Isn't this crap just another example of overpriced, over-flavoured, diabetes-inducing sugar laden, distilled bovine diarrhoea from the evil Starbucks?

Caramel macchiato, blended cream raspberry frappuccino, honey dew ice blended.. what the fuck is this noise? Do we need ten different kinds of artificially sweetened, overpriced sewage refuse to fuck up our systems? Doesn't anyone just drink a fucking cup of coffee anymore? Why must the flavour and aroma of good coffee be hidden and covered up under a cupload of shit and a pretentious italian nickname? Fuck, and people comment that drinking beer is bad for me, usually right after downing cup after cup of industrial waste that would turn their organs into liquid shit before they turn 30.

These products exist because of upper-middle-class, snooty, self-important cocksuckers whose idea of good taste and culture is somehow linked to drinking mass produced pseudo-italian beverages made by pimply faced teenaged high-school dropouts with IQ's of bratwurst for a company that continues to shaft some piss poor plantation worker in Guatemala while running of with billions in profits. What other reason can there be for swilling ten different kinds of rancid, violently coloured dog-piss while talking about some inane nonissue about who is the next Singapore Idol. Fuck them. Fuck them up their asses with giant steel dildos.

Haven't we had about enough of these fucks? If these people didn't exist, we wouldn't have companies like Starbucks poisoning us with their vile crap. They have succeeded in glorifying blandness and banal mediocrity, producing some toxic sludge that they call a 'hazelnut latte', which always tastes like caulking compound, regardless of which country's starfucks you drink it out of. Bland, over-sweetened, taste-bud-numbing cup of toxic waste at $5 anyone? Who the fuck drinks this crap? Oh that's right, we don't have much choice considering all other places that served decent coffee have all been assimilated by the borg, leaving me to choose between ten kinds of diluted rat's piss.

Don't get me wrong. I love fine coffee, but what the fuck does the fucking 'barista' of Starbucks know about coffee anyway? What on earth would some double-digit IQ having, minimum wage earning cretinous waterheaded spawn of corporate whoring parents know about good coffee making? About the same as what McDonald's patty tossers know about foie gras. So isn't it about time someone started executing some of these snooty motherfuckers who encourage this crap? Kill the fuckers who actually enjoy drinking bile like this and who actually encourage this shit. Let's save good coffee from Starbucks already.

As if these corporate pigswill weren't guilty enough, they hide their plundering behind cute sounding terms like 'Fair Trade Coffee' which basically means paying that poor schmuck in Ethiopia enough to just have enough food in his stomach to produce more coffee for these fucks to steal and charging you more for it. 'Fair trade' my left fucking testicle. When was the last time you saw a millionaire Somalian coffee grower? Or a very well to do Brazilian coffee plantation worker? Meanwhile, Starfucks and other faceless corporations continue to make a killing by shafting both the farmer and the middlemen in the name of 'fair trade'. Furthermore, why isn't ALL their coffee 'Fair Trade'? Are they trying to say that there is no way they can give the farmers a fair share without charging you more for it? If you're fucking dumb enough believe that and buy that crap, you show how fucking moronic you are and I hope the coffee you bought is poisoned with arsenic, just out of spite.

Away

2007-01-05T12:14:00.000+08:00

Folks,

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I have been hell busy. I shall continue to be for the next few weeks, so until then expect no updates from the Evil Atheist.

I will resume the ranting once I have a bit of time on my hands. Till then, go amuse yourselves in whatever depraved way you see fit.

-Hades

We need you Dobson!

2006-12-06T15:33:00.000+08:00

Does it strike anyone as odd that The Ministry of Community, Youth and Sports is actually looking at the ultra-right Focus on the Family to reach out to youth?

For those foreign fans of the Evil Atheist, MCYS is a catch-all ministry to cater to youth, community development and sports. Yes, only in Singapore is there a brigadier general, career civil servant, in charge of something like this.

Don't these fucks know who runs FotF? It's the right wingnut James Dobson, that hardcore christian, homophobic, anti-abortion, science-hating shitstain. It is this man whose organisation is now the winged monkeys of the MCYS.

Anyway how many Singaporeans have heard of FotF? If you haven't, I am not surprised. Anyway it's a ultra-christian organisation pretending to be a family counselling organisation. It is run by someone who is a strong supporter of the great Dubya, is a personal friend of KArl Rove, and a man who thinks Spongebob Squarepants has subliminal gay messages. I kid thee not. This is a man who was responsible for the Alito and the aborted Miers nomination to the US Supreme Court. In fact the first thing Alito did was to dash off a thank-you note to the Good Doctor. "This is just a short note to express my heartfelt thanks to you and the entire staff at Focus on the Family for your help and support during the past few, challenging months," he wrote. "As long as I serve on the Supreme Court, I will keep in mind the trust that has been placed in me."

This translates in the mind of all thinking people to a reversal of the monumental Roe vs. Wade decision.

This was a man who wrote books on how to parent kids and yet, when it came to his own, he was not exactly the model parent. He used to beat the shit out of them, and what's more beat the crap out of his dog as well. So much for being a good father eh?
I mean what kind of a sick, twisted individual writes books on how to beat kids? You think I am bullshitting? Check this out and this. Fuck I have nothing against beating kids but come on? What kind of mentality writes BOOKS about it?!

And what about sexuality? Apart from their obvious homophobia, Dobson's ilk recommend "abstinence only" training and love to spout half-truths like 'condoms are unreliable' and 'abstinence is the only way'. Sure there are the usual legit looking websites that seem to support that claim, and they love to parade these around but any person with half a brain who reads the articles nevar fails to notice this one line: "Most pregnancies during contraceptive use result from incorrect or inconsistent use". (This is from the same site that Dobson quoted as proof that condoms fail by upto 15%). Fuck if you are too stupid to use a condom correctly, you deserve what you get.

This is the kind of organisation that is being supported by your taxpayer money and is recommended by the MCYS to teach your kids about sex. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Feminists

2006-11-22T11:36:00.000+08:00

Folks,

I am sure the long term reader of The Evil Atheist remembers fondly his rant on feminazis (as opposed to the vapid, irreflective worm of a reader who would rather spend his/her time watching the latest brainfart that is shown on TV as 'reality television').

Now it has come to my attention that a woman wants to have December 22 as a day for orgasms to protest all the different conflicts in the world. This woman is Donna Sheehan (no relation to Cindy Sheehan) who is 76 years old, and she is ably 'assisted' by her winged monkey, Paul Reffell. I have nothing against their cause, and actually am (surprise surprise!) for it. Hell, as the great Richard Pryor once said, 'cumming beats having a war'. What gets me pissed off is this statement from these dumbfucks.

The couple have studied evolutionary psychology and believe that war is mainly an outgrowth of men trying to impress potential mates, a case of "my missile is bigger than your missile," as Reffell put it.

Oh right, like women don't have war. All war is caused by men to impress women. WHAT THE FUCK?! Who the fuck studies "Evolutionary psychology" anyway? That's right, pansy campus-liberal assholes who give real liberals a bad name. These douchebags think that merely doing a fucking Freud 101 course they are somehow experts in attributing a sexual reason for everything from war to soccer. These feminuts and their pseudo-male companions are against everything that is good and manly, and deserve to be beaten over the head repeatedly with blunt instruments. Why is it that these hypocritical bastards attribute everything that is wrong to being male? Why can't war be seen as a woman's manipulative brain coercing males who would rather sit at the same table and drink beer to blow each others' brains out? Doesn't make sense right? Thought so.

And what the fuck is this about the size of missiles? Why not just build thirty storey missiles and leave them in the fucking silos? What is the need to launch them at people? Don't these fucktards know that the size of the missile has nothing to do with damage? A small missile with a thermonuclear warhead can cause much more damage than a ginormous one with fucking TNT in it. These assbackward clowns have little or no knowledge of science and they think that a psuedo-science like "Evolutionary psychology" is sufficient cover to espouse their vile beliefs on all those who are willing to listen. Fuck them, and those that listen to them. Assbastards.

Who the fuck today thinks that war wins them women? Anyone?! What the hell is wrong with these mental midgets, so fucking divorced from reality that they can't even see what is happening around them. I can forgive the 76 year old bitch. Hey it's hard enough at that age to control your bowels while trying to suck in thin soup. To expect anything even remotely resembling sanity from this old cunt is foolishness, but the guy?! What kind of a man thinks that a war will impress women? Hell, I know Carlin joked about it but he's a fucking standup comedian! Does anyone seriously harbour these thoughts today? Fuck I want to impress women but the last thing I would like to do is to arrange for a war between Singapore and fucking Zambia.

And to think, taxpayers funded their education.

Rob the poor to give to the rich

2006-11-15T12:05:00.000+08:00

Folks,

Now that the US Elections is out of the way, let's turn our attention to something local. Singaporeans were met with a grim faced Lee the Son on the front page of the Straits Times announcing that the GST (if you're from the UK, India or some states in the US, it's the equivalent of VAT) has been upped from 5% to 7%. No big deal right? I mean sure it's more expensive and things like that but hardly worthy of a rant on the Evil Atheist's website right? Well, what makes it all the more hilarious is, the reason given, which is to 'fund services for the poor'.

So now, let me get this straight. You want to increase the tax on products, thus making them more expensive in order to fund programmes for the poor so they can buy your more expensive shit.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh my sides! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Look, I may be a sick, evil SOB (okay, I AM a sick evil SOB), but you gotta laugh at the irony. Really. It's funny.

Look, the GST is a poor man's tax. I am not saying it's wrong to impose a tax on products but essentially it's a poor man's tax. Every product that a person consumes he is paying tax for, regardless of it being a pencil or a Ferrari or a cup of coffee at a hawker centre. The poor are more affected by it because they have very little disposable income. Increasing the GST is virtually like taking a greater chunk out of the man's paycheck. The well-to-do have savings and shit, and they spend a smaller percentage of their income on products, so this tax increase does not affect them much, but for a man who lives from paycheck to paycheck, it is a kick in the face. What the government is essentially doing is taking away 7% of a person's salary and ostensibly giving some of it back as aid. That is like a goon robbing you in the street and then giving you some cash for the bus ride back home.

It gets better.

Further down in the paper, the government is mulling cutting of corporate tax from the current 20%. The reason cited was the same old 'blah make Singapore more competitive, globalization blah, more competition fucking blee'.Yes, remove all the trimmings from it and what do you get? Tax cuts for the wealthy. That is it in a nutshell. I don't get it. Who is advising the current crop of trained monkeys in Parliament? George Bush?! Where are these economists coming from? The Singapore zoo?

You know what is scarier? Both these news items were reported on the SAME MOTHERFUCKING PAGE and no one batted an eyelid!

It is creepy enough that they are pushing Reaganomics down our throats but the article actually reported that since there will be a rise in GST, there can now be a cut in corporate taxes. Yes, you heard it right Singaporeans. They are increasing your tax so the poor corporations who work so hard for their own billion dollar profits and multimillion dollar CEO's can have a break from paying so much for the right to fleece the country dry. Who says Singapore is not a Welfare State? Of course we take care of the underprivileged millionaire white men who out of all the kindness in their hearts invest in Singapore! We ensure that they are well taken care of even when the chips are down! As for the terminally insane, we take care of them too! We move them to Parliament!

Short rant on the US Elections

2006-11-15T11:00:00.000+08:00

Folks,

I know I was supposed to write on the US Congressional Elections and believe me, I had some pretty cutting things to say about the subject, but something came up locally that compels me to shelve that topic aside apart from a few brief comments on it.

First of all, thanks to the glory of Mike, both houses have gone to the democrats. Mike kept this election fairly clean, with minimal interference from Diebold, Florida judges and closet-gay homophobic pastors who think they speak to God on a two way radio.

Thanks to Mike the one guy who did try to say that Mike voted republican got outed as a closet gay junkie. Mike says there is a special place in hell for Haggerd and his flock. Mike has no condemnation for gays (he knows some pretty cool gay people actually), nor does he give a flying fuck what you inject into your dick (he loves Jimi Hendrix), but he does mind that you denounce loudly the very things you are, and worse still you do it in His Name.

Anyway, I am not too thrilled with the outcome because no one is screaming IMPEACHMENT! Come on you stupid Americans, you impeached Clinton for getting blown by a chunky intern, but you can't impeach an anthropoid you have in the White House who claims to be the Decider while ensuring that the country continues to go down the toilet? The next time you speak of Singapore in negative terms, you better remember that at least Singapore's fuckups are internal. You dickwads fuck up on a global scale. Forget about working with the Shrub. IMPEACH! Throw him out and let's see him bounce. Then we'll take you seriously when you say you actually have three separate branches of government.

Mike came through!

2006-11-10T23:32:00.000+08:00

Folks,

It was a close call, but Mike came through. Although shitbags like Lieberman won in the US Congress elections it was still a victory for the Democrats in both houses. Now I shall go onto a more detailed analysis tomorrow morning because Mike, being the right bastard that he is, gave me a horrible flu for the past two days, probably to allow me to collect my thoughts better (Thanks, asshole!).

Meanwhile, go on to www.smirkingchimp.com for more.

Don't say I never did anything for you fuckers.

And Mike, cut the crap and get rid of this runny nose already.

The US Midterm Elections from a disgruntled Singaporean

2006-11-07T23:52:00.000+08:00

Folks,

As Mike promised I will be recounting the happenings in a land far from mine, but whose results will have great bearing on the course of global human affairs.

Why did I agree to do it, despite the fact that the bulk of my readership (all twenty of you) come from Singapore? To put it simply, Mike blackmailed me. Well at first he to blackmail me by having crudely photoshopped images of me in compromising positions with goats, rabbits and even a hedgehog sent to the national newspapers in Singapore. I then very calmly pointed out that the editors at the Straitjacket Times, may be dumb enough to be taken in by his bluff but bestiality is the least of their sins, so they might actually be sympathetic towards me and sue Mike for a million bucks. He then threatened to have those images sent to PETA. Those dumbfucks would believe anything and may just be motivated enough to act.

The last thing I want to tackle at this moment is a hundred angry, unwashed, tofu-swilling self-righteous animal-Taliban, so I reluctantly agreed.

Mike really can be an asshole sometimes.

Anyway the silver lining on this whole shebang is, maybe the jocks who read my site might actually come out slightly more aware of happenings in the US that do not involve Paris Hilton, Tom Cruise or Ashlee Simpson. I live in hope.

So tomorrow I will dissect the election results to the best of my ability. I hope for no big surprises, and predict that the Democrats might narrowly win in the House of Representatives (House of Commons, Lok Sabha for us civilised people) while the Senate remains in the hands of the Repubs. Let's see how it goes. I have it from Mike that he shall not interfere in this election, and if the Americans are stupid enough to elect the Rethuglicans for another term, they deserve all the shit they get.

American Congressional Elections

2006-11-07T04:55:00.000+08:00

Folks, this is Mike

Hades, the Evil Atheist shall be specially covering the US elections for Congress, or what the civilised world calls Parliament. Why, you ask?

Initially the Evil Atheist had no intention of doing so, but it was because of me, Mike, in all my glory, that you people are getting the benefit of his hilarious and unbiased views of the American Congressional Elections.

What did Mike do? Well, Mike is God, so He just threatened to show the world the pictures of Hades in compromising positions with livestock. You would be surprised how well that works.

The Evil Atheist agreed and by this time Wednesday, you should have a thorough description of what happened in the US Elections, interspersed with his commentary.

In Mike's view Hades is the best person in the world to provide coverage on this, because being non-American, he can provide unbiased and insightful views on the results of this election, and also, I simply love his dick-jokes.

So tune in tomorrow, same time and same place, for I am Mike, and I have spoken.