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2008-06-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

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Moving...

2006-08-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

The preparation is [mostly] complete and now the announcement can be made...I'm moving! Don't worry, though; my physical address isn't changing, just my home on the blogosphere. :-)

I set up a new blog using WordPress about a month ago. I was going to wait to officially move over until I had another post written, but I'm so overwhelmed with some projects I'm working on right now I don't know when a new post will be forthcoming.

I've wanted to switch to WordPress for quite a while and frequent difficulties with Blogger finally prompted me to make the change. If you're looking for an alternative to Blogger, I highly recommend WordPress. It's incredible!

Come visit my new "home" here. And please change any links to point to this new address as well.

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Conclusion

2006-08-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

Read: [Intro] [Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven] [Part Eight] [Part Nine]

“Know therefore this day, and consider it in thine heart, that the LORD he is God in heaven above, and upon the earth beneath: there is none else. Thou shalt keep therefore his statutes, and his commandments, which I command thee this day, that it may go well with thee, and with thy children after thee, and that thou mayest prolong thy days upon the earth, which the LORD thy God giveth thee, for ever.” (Deuteronomy 4:39-40)

The years of unmarriage are a unique time, a precious gift from the Lord. Let us, unmarried women, commit ourselves anew to caring for “the things of the Lord” – not only for our own well-being, but for the well-being of our future marriages and for the well-being of the generations of children that will come behind us. The future is bright – the promises of God are sure!

Click here to download a pdf file containing this entire series in one article.

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part Nine

2006-08-11T21:21:00.000-07:00

Read: [Intro] [Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven] [Part Eight]

Julia and I were kindred spirits from the start. Both endowed with the gift of exhortation, we spent our time together as young girls dreaming up ideas and making plans for how we could teach others and share with them the things of the Lord. At long last our plans came to fruition. In the Spring of 1998, we made plans for a summer Bible Club, wrote a curriculum, designed and delivered flyers throughout the neighborhood, recruited friends to teach the groups of children, tell stories, accompany the singing, organize games and meals, and then prayed for God’s blessing on our little program, which we named, “Adventures In Character.” The Lord answered our prayers beyond what we could have ever expected and expanded the program the following year into a larger-scale program which continues to this day.

Julia, whose father died when she was still a young girl, has long been an inspiration to me with her love for the Lord and her devotion to prayer. She often asked me for prayer requests and faithfully prayed over them, checking in with me for updates on a regular basis. Julia’s heart for others, especially for those not readily accepted by others, has led her to take an interest in the lives of many younger girls and mentor and encourage them in their walk with the Lord. There is no telling how many lives have been forever changed because of the investments she has made.

For as long as I can remember, Julia had a certain computer-geekishness about her and didn’t hesitate to delve into solving computer problems or even learning programming languages. Eventually, she developed an interest in film technology and took advantage of an opportunity to study as an apprentice in the video department of the IBLP Headquarters in Illinois. She became quite good at video production and put to use her excellent writing skills and creative inspiration to help write scripts and narration, and design storyboards. She was hired on at the video department and continued her work there, working on a variety of different projects throughout the years. Over time, one of the supervisors in the video department realized that Julia was the one that God had prepared for him to marry. Just before their Christmas break in December of 2003, Daniel called Julia’s Mom and requested permission to court her. Julia, who had likewise grown to love Daniel, upon reaching home and receiving the news from her Mom, consented to the courtship. They were married in May of 2004 and have since founded Eye Reach Productions – a home-based film production company. They work together doing film work for a number of businesses and ministries and look forward to teaching their little daughter and expectant second child the “tools of the trade” so that they can continue to work and serve as a family.

You see, God knew exactly what kind of preparation Julia would need to be Daniel’s helpmeet. Because her heart was focused on the Lord during her unmarried years and because Julia faithfully sought the Lord and made knowing and following Him her priority, God was able to provide her with the opportunities to develop the skills He knew she would need.

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part Eight

2006-08-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

Read: [Intro] [Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven]

To some of my readers, the principles and ideas I have presented will seem both idealistic and unrealistic. But let me assure you – God’s way does work! Sadly, I have seen the negative effect the failure to live by these principles has produced as close friends have exchanged their “first love” for the pursuit of worldly pleasures and philosophies. But I have also seen the rich rewards God has bestowed upon young women who have faithfully sought Him and made it their first priority to grow in their knowledge and understanding of Scripture and in their relationship with Jesus Christ. With their permission, I would like to share just a couple of these examples.

The first is the example of my dear sister, Nicole. From the time we were little, Nicole and Nadine (our third sister) and I had given up traditional toys in favor of running our own “businesses.” We owned every business our young minds could imagine, and eventually stuck with a travel agency. We ordered travel magazines from every state and several foreign countries and filed them alphabetically in file cabinets procured for this purpose. We dealt with “customers” all day long, typed up itineraries and forms on our old MS-DOS computer, and spent the summer scouring garage sales for anything that could be put to use in our office. By far, the crowning moment was when I spotted it – a credit card machine. You know, the old kind where you placed the credit card on the metal plate with the carbon receipt over top of it and had to slide the top part of the machine over it to impress the credit card information on the receipt? We could hardly contain our excitement and were sure we had reached the pinnacle of life in the business world as we eagerly handed our find to the seller, who questioned us several times to be sure that we knew what we were buying. We convinced her that we knew what we were doing and sped home on our bikes, more eager than ever to conduct all the transactions required in our booming little business. Little did we realize how even during those carefree days of childhood play, the Lord was preparing us for what the future would hold. 

For several years, once we were older, Nicole and I traveled to various cities in the Midwest to receive training and to teach groups of children while their parents attended a seminar. Though at times the differences in our personalities were the source of numerous irritations, we learned to work together as a team. We learned to value each others’ strengths and I learned much from her amazing organizational skills and serving spirit. She later went on to attend several workshops in areas of interest to her – floral arranging and interior design, in particular. She then spent some time working locally for an Interior Designer, and later for a Florist, learning valuable skills that she has used in numerous ways to benefit our family and others – helping with home décor ideas, providing beautiful inexpensive floral arrangements for weddings, etc.

Nicole worked as an Office Manager for several years at GraceWorks, helping keep things organized, talking with customers (many homeschool Moms from whom she gained valuable insight), and expanding her computer skills. From there, the Lord led her to work as the Office Manager for some friends as they started a new furniture business. She amazes everyone with her ability to keep track of incredible amounts of detailed information and efficiently handle business issues while calmly and politely dealing with customers in person and over the phone.

In November of 2004, God laid it on the heart of a young man to call my Dad and ask for permission to court Nicole. Unbeknownst to us, he had been seriously interested in Nicole since that Spring but had been praying and waiting on the Lord for the right time to pursue the relationship. Although we saw afterward how the Lord had prepared Nicole for this change that would be taking place in her life, at the time it was completely unexpected. Nicole and Andy were married in August of 2005 and she has used the skills she developed in her 23 unmarried years to decorate an adorable home for herself and Andy. She is an immaculate housekeeper and has used the combination of her organizational and computer spreadsheet skills to develop a meal-planning program that allows her to select specific meals from a list she created of their favorite meals and add them to the menu for the week. A shopping list is automatically generated from the list and she prints it out, goes through the cupboards and checks off items they already have and then does her bi-weekly grocery shopping from the remainder of the list. All this from the girl who hadn’t grocery shopped since we were little girls being dragged through the store with Mom and whose repertoire of meals included macaroni and cheese, ramen noodles, and grilled cheese sandwiches.

You see, God knew exactly how to prepare Nicole for her role as a wife and homemaker. She faithfully sought the Lord while she was unmarried and used the skills He gave her to serve Him and invest in others and He molded her into the wife that Andy needed to be his helpmeet.

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part Seven

2006-08-09T20:40:00.000-07:00

Read: [Intro] [Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six]

We have spent a great deal of time and study to finally arrive back at the question from whence we began, “Should girls go to college?” This is an excellent question to ask, and I believe that with the foundation laid thus far, every girl will be able to carefully consider her answer to this question. Based on what we have seen from Scripture, there are several insightful questions that can be asked to arrive at an answer:

1. Is attending college the best way for me to fulfill my primary God-given responsibility of growing in my knowledge and understanding of Scripture and in my relationship with Jesus Christ?

2. Is attending college the best way for me to develop a “whole heart” for God while guarding my heart from unnecessary input that is contrary to God’s Word?

3. Does attending college line up with what God has done in my life up to this point and follow the path that He seems to be setting out for me in preparation for my future?

4. Do my parents believe that it is God’s will for me to attend college?

5. Will college provide the education necessary for me to serve God in the capacity He is leading me? Is it necessary to pursue a degree program or would it be better to just take select classes that will assist me in developing the skills and interests the Lord has given me?

6. What opportunities for ministry or service or skill development are available if I do not attend college? Will these opportunities better enable me to seek and serve God than if I attend college?

There is only one valid reason that a young woman should attend college. And it has nothing to do with getting an education. Nothing to do with getting a good job. Nothing to do with making more money. Indeed, the only reason she should attend college is if God makes it clear that by so doing she will be able to most effectively grow in her knowledge and understanding of Scripture and in her relationship with Jesus Christ. For, if this is her first priority, God has promised to meet all of her physical needs, (see Matthew 6:33) and to direct her paths, (see Proverbs 3:5-6) which would include preparing her to be a helpmeet to her future husband. Because God has specifically placed her parents in her life to give her direction, a young woman should readily accept and heed her parents’ counsel when deciding whether or not to attend college. God may lay His will upon their heart for reasons that even they do not know, but which, when followed, will provide the light that the young woman needs in order to walk in His ways. Whether in spite of their counsel, or in the absence of their counsel, if an unmarried woman chooses to attend college when it is not God’s will, she is treading a slippery slope that will quickly lead to her destruction. In contrast, the woman who ponders the path of her feet and walks in the way God makes known to her will receive blessings from Him beyond her greatest expectation!

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part Six

2006-08-09T20:38:00.000-07:00

Read: [Intro] [Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five]

Based upon what we have discovered in our study thus far, we can say that the primary focus of an unmarried woman should be to “Grow in her knowledge and understanding of Scripture and in her relationship with Jesus Christ.” This principle is consistent with the rest of Scripture, which teaches that true success is found in delighting in, meditating upon, and obeying the Word of God.

“This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” Joshua 1:8

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, not standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.” Psalm 1:1-3

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

This priority of the Word of God can be effectively developed in the life of an unmarried woman and will serve as a solid foundation for the years and responsibilities to come. The more she has the Word of God engrafted into her heart, the more its transforming power will be reflected in her life. Her decisions and choice of activities will be influenced not as much by her own desires, but more and more by the wisdom and ways of God as it envelopes her mind and becomes the expression of her heart’s desire. How can this become a reality?

According to Proverbs 3:3, we have the capacity to write things upon our heart. “Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart.” How does one write upon their heart? We receive information through our senses, through what we see/read, hear, smell, etc. We are all familiar with the phrase, “know it by heart.” When something is known by heart, it is no longer necessary to receive the input from an outside source. It has been received and written upon the heart and can be recalled from the memory within. This is why it is so critical to guard ourselves from input that is contrary to God’s Word and to fill our heart instead with what is true and pure. Of course, we cannot isolate ourselves from the world in which we live and there will be many times where we will be subjected to input that is contrary to God’s Word. That is why we should be “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)

A greater danger exists when we willfully subject ourselves to vast amounts of input that is contrary to God’s Word. Whether it is done in the name of entertainment (such as watching movies) or attaining higher education (such as attending college) or out of some fabricated sense of deserving personal pleasure (such as reading Christian romance novels), a young woman runs the serious risk of allowing the subtle philosophies of her enemy, the devil, who “as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour,” (1 Peter 5:8b) to slip past her overloaded mind to become lodged within the depths of her heart. Instead, she ought to “Be sober, be vigilant.” (1 Peter 5:8a) She cannot afford to let her guard down even for a moment! She must choose, rather, to meditate on the Word of the Lord day and night – to read it, to study it, to memorize it, to ponder it – for this, above all, is what God desires from her. Only then will she be ready to answer the question, “Should I go to college?”

House-sitting Escapades

2006-08-05T19:42:00.000-07:00

We interrupt this series on Presuppositional Patterns to bring you a brief glimpse into my memorable week of house-sitting...

Did I ever mention that I’m opposed to the idea of indoor pets? Nevertheless, being the kind, servant-hearted person that I am, I agreed to house-sit this week for a family that has an indoor pet. A dog, to be exact. A 7-month old, large puppy dog. Let’s just say that my opposition to indoor pets has increased exponentially. In fact, I don’t really like dogs at all anymore.

We got off to a great start the moment I arrived. Apparently he hadn’t been thoroughly filled in on what was taking place this week and was under the impression that I had kidnapped his family and taken over the house. The canine detective immediately set out on his first mission to apprehend this criminal – collect as many fingerprints as possible. He ingeniously devised a foolproof method to accomplish this task. After chewing open the barrel of a black ink pen, he proceeded to empty the ink and spread it around with his paws all across the kitchen and entryway floor. The competition was fierce, though, and I combated his devious tactics with a mop and bucket of soapy water and a lot of elbow grease. An hour later, there was not a fingerprint to be found and the kitchen floor was spotless. Ha! I was determined not to let this dog get the better of me!

By the time I finished rinsing the mop and replacing the bucket, the dog had moved on to the next phase of his defense plan. He must have assumed my plan of attack was hidden within the pages of my journal and was in the process of shredding it to pieces when I returned. I immediately issued the battle cry and charged! Aware of his inferiority at the moment, he quickly (and wisely) retreated. On this pleasant note, we called it a day and retired to our quarters for the night.

We decided to exhibit our growing attachment to the neighborhood as we set out the next morning, he on foot and I on rollerblades. His first stunt was a good one, until he realized that tying me around the mailbox might not be in his best interest, since he was still attached to the other end of the leash I had gripped firmly in hand. Undeterred in his mission, as we approached the house, he took off at a dead run in the opposite direction and ran me right into the curb. I’m sure I looked like a gymnast as I flipped through the air. With utmost grace and refinement, I stuck the landing, turned, smiled and waved at all the neighbors, who I’m sure were watching in awe through their curtained windows. Having enjoyed our pleasant excursion so much, we stumbled back to the house to spend more quality time together.

Determined not to relinquish command of his post to me, the dog continued to ignore every directive I issued. Eventually it came to a head as we battled a fierce tug-of-war, he for the right to shred the pillows and blankets and me with a desire to keep them intact for the return of the home owners. After repeated wins on my part, we finally made a truce and I offered to provide some lovely music on the piano in the adjacent room. Note to self: don’t ever enter a truce with a dog. With my spirit calmed from a time of refreshing playing, I reentered the living room and thought December had arrived, accompanied by an unexpected snow storm. The carpet was barely visible beneath the layer of white fluff covering the floor. And off to the side lay the deflated victim – a formerly fluffy decorative pillow. The dog gazed up at me gleefully, no doubt congratulating himself for accomplishing such an amazing feat in such a short amount of time.

Ever the calm, cool, collected one, I embarked on a search for the vacuum cleaner and, having located it, transported it back to the living room for some heavy-duty work. Unfortunately, it seems the vacuum cleaner was in cohorts with the dog and, after a deceptive choking sound, went on strike, leaving me amidst a room-full of fluff and a dog intent on spreading said fluff throughout the house. While I continued in my efforts, the dog apparently thought the solid white a little bland for his liking and proceeded to chew up a few pages of the newspaper and distribute it amongst the fluff covering the floor. What a nice touch.

Though it pained me immensely, I was forced to part company with the dog for several hours while I attended a wedding rehearsal. You can be sure I rushed back at the first moment possible, eager to spend as much time as possible with my new-found friend. He must have felt the same way in my absence, and, in his desperation to find me, managed to pry loose one of the boards from the backyard fence and make his way into the neighbor’s yard. As I pulled into the driveway, I was greeted by the neighbor couple and a wide-eyed dog, secured to the leash in their hands. They assured me this had never happened before. Great. That’s just what I was hoping to hear. As you can imagine, we were overjoyed to be reunited under such…unexpected circumstances.

During my phone conversation with the owners that night, I assured them we were both having the best of times and things couldn’t be going any better. The owner suggested a night of celebration – just the two of us, relaxing on the couch and watching a movie. Great idea. Exactly how I would have chosen to spend the evening too. We were perusing the DVDs for something that appealed to both of us. The dog picked his favorite, but I wasn’t convinced. I continued to read the story synopses for something that looked good. The dog became rather impatient and threatened to take matters into his own ~~hands~~ paws if I didn’t hurry up and make a decision. I guess I should have taken him seriously. I turned around to present my selection and discovered that he had given up and eaten the DVD. Now there’s a smart dog for you…guess whose DVD we got to watch then? Mine. And I added the remains of his to the growing stash of evidence to present to the owners when they returned to the place they used to call home.

In light of the fabulous time the dog and I had together all week, I graciously told the owners that they didn’t even need to pay me the amount we originally agreed upon. I figure what I made on the sale of the dog will cover it.

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part Five

2006-08-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

Read: [Intro] [Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four]

Now that we have discovered that the primary role of an unmarried woman is to care for “the things of the Lord,” it would behoove us to understand what those “things” are. There are two examples given in Scripture that especially give light to the meaning of this phrase. The first is found in a brief exchange between Jesus and Martha in her house.

“Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But only one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

It’s not that it’s wrong to be hospitable and to serve your guests. It’s just that that was not what Jesus wanted Martha to be doing with her time right then. It is fascinating to note that the Greek word for “distraction” is the same one Paul used with the negative participle in 1 Corinthians 7 when he said he spoke these words so that the unmarried might “attend upon the Lord without distraction.” (emphasis mine) Additionally, the word “careful” that Jesus used is rooted in the same Greek word as Paul used when he discussed what things the married and the unmarried “careth” for. Martha was distracted from attending upon the Lord because she was caring for other responsibilities. Mary, on the other hand, had her focus right. She “sat at Jesus’ feet and heard his word.” Though we do not know for sure whether Mary was married or not, the example she provides perfectly fleshes out the teaching of Paul in 1 Corinthians.

The Lord has provided the time of unmarriage for young people so that they can sit at Jesus’ feet and hear His Word. He knows that there will come a time once they are married when they will not have the freedom to devote the same amount of time to such intense study and undivided focus. It will be their responsibility to care for the things of the world – how they may please their husband or wife, and eventually, their growing family. However, a foundation will have been laid during their unmarried years to adequately prepare them for this change in role and responsibility. We do ourselves and our future marriages a great disservice if we squander our time of unmarriage in ways that distract us from caring for “the things of the Lord.”

The second example is found in Acts 18:24-25, the only other place in the Bible where the exact phrase, “the things of the Lord” is used.

“And a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man, and mighty in the scriptures, came to Ephesus. This man was instructed in the way of the LORD; and being fervent in the spirit, he spake and taught diligently the things of the LORD, knowing only the baptism of John.” [emphasis mine]

It was obviously the Scriptures that were the source of Apollos’ teachings. The word “mighty,” upon closer inspection, seems to indicate that the Scriptures were rooted within him as a source of power. He was not merely passing on second-hand information. He knew the Scriptures by heart. No doubt, this is why he was able to quickly transition to preaching Christ as the fulfillment of Scriptural prophecies when he was further instructed by Aquila and Priscilla. He was a humble student of the Scriptures and a very effective teacher of truth.

“The things of the Lord,” then, are to be found in the Word of God, the written pages of Scripture, and the Person of Jesus Christ (“the Word made flesh”), as we sit at His feet and spend time with Him. Since we have seen that the responsibility of an unmarried woman is to care for “the things of the Lord,” every decision she makes must be considered in light of whether it will assist her in fulfilling this responsibility or distract her from it.

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part Four

2006-08-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

Read: [Intro] [Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three]

Thus, the question set forth has yet to be answered, “What’s an unmarried woman to do?” There is only one place where the Bible specifically addresses the situation of the unmarried woman in contrast to that of the married woman. We would do well to carefully consider the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:34-35, “There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.” (emphasis added)

Paul identifies a deliberate distinction between the focus and duty of the unmarried woman and that of the married woman. It was enlightening to discover that the words “difference” and “careth” come from the same Greek root. It is as though Paul was categorically separating the married from the unmarried by defining their unique roles. In other words, God has not equally bestowed the same roles and responsibilities upon all women, regardless of their matrimonial state. Married women have specific roles and responsibilities because they are married. Unmarried women have specific roles and responsibilities because they are unmarried.

This Biblical distinction is the premise upon which an unmarried woman should evaluate and base her decisions. Her primary focus must be on “the things of the Lord.” This primary focus will lead her to live a life of holiness in body and in spirit because she is seeking to serve and please the Lord in whatever endeavor He may lead her. If her primary focus is on preparing for a husband, she will become discontent with being unmarried, which Paul proscribes – he wants the unmarried woman free from the expectations and duties of those who are married, so that she may “attend upon the Lord without distraction.”

Here is the crux of the issue – our Sovereign God alone knows what the future holds. Therefore, He alone is uniquely able to prepare an unmarried woman for what her future holds. Rather than dogmatically insisting that an unmarried woman should only be engaged in certain pursuits, young women should be encouraged to pursue “the things of the Lord,” recognizing that this will mean a different direction for different women – based, not upon her own desires or the changing philosophies of the world, but upon the personal leading of the Lord in her life as He molds her into the godly woman that He desires. In addition to her own study of Scripture and prayerful consideration, a young woman must not overlook the vital role of her parents in directing her decisions. The Lord has placed them in her life to give counsel and direction. Honoring and obeying them is a key ingredient in a life that is pleasing to the Lord. If she rejects their counsel and direction, then she has cut herself off from the light that would otherwise illuminate the way set before her by the Lord. “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life.” (Proverbs 6:20-23)

This unmarried woman can be related to the young woman who was mindful of the probability of a future trip and made notes in preparation for such. It would be wise for an unmarried woman to carefully observe the examples – both positive and negative – of those around her and learn from them. This principle is vividly portrayed in Proverbs 24:32. After observing the field of the slothful and its state of disrepair, the writer notes, “Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction.” Many little nuggets of wisdom can be gleaned by carefully observing the lives of others and viewing them in light of Scripture. [As an aside, I have found it helpful to keep a small journal in which I record specific principles and ideas that I’ve gleaned from observing others in situations in which I anticipate that I might find myself at some point in the future – from courtship to marriage to parenting, etc.]

Incidentally, I believe that these same principles apply to the life of the unmarried man. (1 Corinthians 7:32-33) As both the man and woman that God has intended for each other focus on “the things of the Lord,” He will allow their paths to cross once He has finished preparing them for the life they will live together as husband and wife. Of course, His sanctifying work will continue throughout the remainder of their lives, but they will have received the necessary preparation for the husband to serve as the leader of the home, casting the vision for the family, and the wife to be his helpmeet, using the specific areas developed by God during her unmarried years to come alongside her husband, supporting and carrying out the vision God has given him.

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part Three

2006-07-31T12:23:00.000-07:00

Read: [Intro] [Part One] [Part Two]

What’s an unmarried woman to do? With this question at the forefront of my mind, my search for an answer began in the pages of Scripture. What does God have to say about unmarriage? (Can that please be a word? If you will so humor me, for the sake of this series “unmarriage” will be defined as the state prior to entering a marriage covenant but beyond the time when a young woman is considered a child.) You know what I found? Almost every passage addressed to women is addressing married women. Profound, I know. Seriously, though, I think this is quite significant. This reaffirms an important truth: marriage is normative. It is God’s design for women to marry. God specifically created woman (Eve) to be married to man (Adam). This was God’s design from the beginning. Teachings and examples throughout Scripture reinforce this truth.

This understanding leads some to advocate that every unmarried woman should devote her time and energy to preparing to be a married woman. They apply the principles of being a Godly wife also to the time that an unmarried woman still lives in her father’s house. Believing the end goal to be marriage, this time of unmarriage is spent primarily, or even exclusively, developing those areas deemed necessary for her future role as a wife, mother and homemaker.

This is akin to the young woman who spent years consumed by her preparations for a trip she assumed she would take, but didn’t know when or to what locale. How can an unmarried woman possibly know how to prepare for marriage to a man yet unknown at a time yet undetermined? For, while it is normative that a woman will marry, it is not certain. And there is a great deal of uncertainty regarding the particular details of each marriage. Perhaps her husband will desire or prefer that she run the household a certain way. Will she be so set in her own ways that she will find such adaptability difficult? Perhaps her husband will have certain dietary restrictions. Will her training in the kitchen have been for naught? Perhaps her husband will have a physical disability. Will her expectations be crushed? Perhaps the long-awaited husband will die unexpectedly after only a short time of marriage. What will the young widow do then? (I am in no way advocating that young women should not serve their families in the running of the household or in assisting with meal preparation, etc., I am merely questioning the teaching that this should be done to the exclusion of all else in an effort to prepare for a future marriage.)

Is it possible, then, for an unmarried woman to be adequately prepared for marriage? Indeed! Not only is it possible, it is essential. But I would submit to you that the best preparation is not necessarily that which requires the unmarried woman to assume the responsibilities set forth for a married woman.

Astute observers will quickly agree that our society advocates a completely different approach to the question, “What’s an unmarried woman to do?” With disregard for God’s unique design of the sexes, young women are encouraged to pursue the same course as their male counterparts. (Which course, even when pursued by young men, is itself debatable in light of what Scripture teaches.) Namely, complete twelve years of primary education, attend college and complete at least one degree, enter the workforce and climb the corporate ladder, earn enough money so you can live comfortably and spend your latter days basking in the return from your gilded retirement nest egg. Somewhere along the way she may meet the man of her dreams and fall in love, at which point she may choose to get married. Following the honeymoon, life will carry on “as it were,” each pursuing their own ambitions and with household duties now equally divided between both parties. Should children be deemed desirable at some point, the socially preferred one boy and one girl will be attempted for and, barring complications, will be added to the family picture for the duration of their first 18 years of life, excepting, of course, the 25,000+ hours they will spend in daycares and educational institutions outside the home. Meanwhile, the career-driven woman will spend her days running the proverbial “rat race,” a continuation of all the goals and dreams she set out to reach as a young unmarried woman.

This is analogous to the weary woman who ran herself ragged in the busy activity of life, never giving thought to the future responsibilities of marriage, let alone preparing for such. Without any consideration for the teaching of Scripture, she merely set out to follow the course commonly practiced and encouraged by our present society. Independence is supreme. Though the woman gets married, it is little more than a social nicety. She continues to pursue her own goals and interests while her husband pursues his. Indeed, her total lack of thought and preparation prepared her perfectly for everything a marriage should not be.

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part Two

2006-07-26T23:44:00.000-07:00

Read: [Intro] [Part One]

The young woman carefully folded another shirt and placed it in the open suitcase. As she did so, the brightly-colored fabric of another shirt caught her eye. She eased it out from its sandwiched position and held it up for reconsideration. Did she really need it? She had to admit, it didn’t seem quite as necessary now as when she had packed it a year ago. After a moment of intense internal debate, she folded it up and placed it back in the suitcase. After all, she might need it once she got there. There. She didn’t know exactly where “there” was; nevertheless, there was no telling what she might need once she got…there. Might as well pack it all. She wanted everything to be just perfect when the time came. She glanced at the four other suitcases surrounding her and carefully went back through each one, inspecting its contents and rearranging it until it satisfied her. She had spent countless hours acquiring, packing and rearranging the items in each suitcase. As she closed the last suitcase, she emitted a hopeful sigh. She’d been at this packing business for many years and she was ready. The exciting possibilities raced through her mind again. She could hardly wait! Someday – perhaps someday soon – she would finally get to go…there.

A look in the opposite direction illuminated another young woman as she hurried out the door. A moment later she reappeared – only to grab a handful of forgotten items before disappearing once again, leaving behind only the echo of the door as it slammed shut behind her. Later that night, her steps were considerably slower as she wearily reentered the room and collapsed in exhaustion onto her bed. Her room was in disarray, and her thoughts were ten times more so as she drifted off to sleep. She didn’t even notice as her dangling arm brushed across the thick layer of dust coating the top of her suitcase that had long ago been shoved out of sight under her bed. Perhaps she would need it someday, but there was no use worrying about it now. She was just too busy for that kind of thing.

One final gaze fixed itself upon a third young woman as she picked up a few odds and ends that had gotten out of place in her otherwise tidy area. As she returned them to their rightful spot, her eyes fell on the suitcase sitting inconspicuously toward the side of the room. A thought occurred to her and she quickly jotted it down on the travel checklist she kept handily stored in a drawer on her desk. As she looked over the growing list, she smiled contentedly and with a twinge of anticipation. She wanted to be ready for her trip – whenever the day should happen to arrive. But until then, she had plenty of other things to occupy her time and energy. She must remain focused and faithful in what she had been called to do for the present time. With that thought on her mind, she replaced the list, gathered the necessary items and left the room, carefully closing the door behind her as she set about to carry on the duties of the day.

An imperfect analogy, to be sure, but this is the scenario that came to mind as I contemplated the life of the unmarried woman. (The anticipated trip represents the probable future marriage and the suitcase and its contents represent the responsibilities of a married woman.) There is certainly no want of advice for such a woman: “Make a difference in the world while you’re single.” “Pursue your dreams.” “You must go to college if you want to be successful in life.” “Focus on learning to be a keeper at home.” “Find a ministry opportunity where you can serve others.” “Get a good job so you can support yourself.” “You always need something you can fall back on…just in case.”

How is one to sift through such conflicting messages as they are issued from every side? Which way is the right way? What’s an unmarried woman to do?

Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman’s Role - Part One

2006-07-26T23:35:00.000-07:00

[Let me say one thing before I jump into the topic at hand. This area I’m addressing is one in which I’ve swung from one extreme to another. I’ve found myself influenced over the years by those on opposite ends of the spectrum and have subscribed to different views at different times. Only recently have I approached Scripture with this specific area in mind and with a desire to understand the Lord’s heart on it. What a blessing this study has been! The Word of God never ceases to change me – to transform my thinking and to alter my lifestyle. Though I am sharing what I have learned from my own study of Scripture, there is nothing that can replace personal study. I challenge each reader to spend time for themselves seeking the Lord’s heart on this issue, as expressed in the pages of Scripture; time thus spent will render blessings beyond those from reading these writings of mine.]

The question has been posed, “Should girls go to college?” From the emphatic “no!” to the incredulity that such a question could even produce a negative answer, the responses to be given are as diverse as the experiences of those who give them. Ah yes…experiences. Though they teach us much about life, experiences cannot be the standard by which we measure the validity of a pressing decision or the acceptability of a particular situation. You see, two people encountering the same situation may experience entirely opposite results. For one, it may provide a good experience, while for another, it provides a bad experience. Two things, based upon the same standard of measurement, that are antithetical to one another cannot both be right. (Unless, of course, one subscribes to a relativistic view whereby each one determines for himself what is right depending upon the present situation. In which case, it would be pointless for us to have this discussion in the first place…)

The first step in answering the afore-mentioned question is to acknowledge that God’s Word is the absolute standard by which we must measure every situation and every decision. God has no intention of leaving us on our own to make such crucial and life-impacting decisions as whether or not to attend college. On the contrary, Scripture speaks to every area of life and God promises to bless those who walk in His ways.

“Blessed is everyone that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways.”
Psalm 128:1

“Blessed are the undefiled in the way, who walk in the law of the LORD. Blessed are they that keep his testimonies and that seek him with the whole heart. They also do no iniquity: they walk in his ways.”
Psalm 119:1-3

Let us commit ourselves, then, to seeking the Lord’s way with our whole heart and determining to walk in it, wherever the path may lead!

There is certainly more than one direction we could take in approaching a study of Scripture with the question, “Should girls go to college?” in mind. As I pondered the question, though, I found myself wondering what God’s role is for young women who are beyond their childhood years but have not yet entered into marriage. Before we can even answer the specific question of college, we must lay a framework with a clear understanding of God’s general role for such a woman. This will be the foundation, then, upon which every other decision can be built. I invite you to join me as we explore an even more foundational question, “What’s an unmarried woman to do?”

Another Series...

2006-07-26T23:13:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, Lydia asked me about the possibility of writing a guest post for her blog on a new series she was going to start on the topic of whether girls should go to college. After tossing the idea around for a while, I decided to accept her offer. Little did I know what I had gotten myself into! The Lord has taught me so much in my study, inspired by Lydia's simple request. As I began to write, I just couldn't stop; my guest post was quickly turning into a book! Not really, but that's what my family called it. :-)

Following this post, then, will be the first of a nine-part series (cross-posted on both Lydia's Blog and my own) titled,
Presuppositional Patterns: A Biblical Study of the Unmarried Woman's Role (a fitting title given by Lydia)

The Race is On!

2006-07-26T18:51:00.000-07:00

Monday evening, Naomi and I attended a special Candidate Forum hosted by the Harvey County Republican Party. Six of the seven gubernatorial candidates were present. Each candidate was asked a total of four questions, one at a time, and given a limited amount of time to respond. For me, the decision to be made was between the two conservative candidates, Barnett and Canfield. Though I’ve done a fair amount of research and reading and spoken with numerous people who are supporting one or the other of these two candidates and, I found myself increasingly uncertain of which one I should support. I was eager to attend this event because I was hopeful that it would provide the forum necessary for me to make a final decision about who to support in the primary next Tuesday, August 1. I am posting my notes of the questions and responses below in case there are fellow Kansans who find themselves in the same position. (Things moved quickly, so the notes may seem a little scattered...sorry about that.) At the end of the post, I’ve summarized my thoughts on the candidates.

Here are the names of the candidates and their running mates:
Jim Barnett/Susan Wagle
Ken Canfield/Kathe Decker
Rex Crowell/Brian Shepherd
Robin Jennison/Dennis Wilson
Tim Pickell/Jeffrey McCalmon
Dennis Hawver/Bret Landrith
Richard Rodewald/Helen Kanzig – absent

Question One: Introduce yourself. Why do you want to be the next Governor of Kansas?

Barnett: I served with Ray’s (Ray VanSickle was one of the organizers of the event) sister on the Emporia BOE for 8 years, 4 as president.
From Redding, near Emporia, grew up on farm, has practiced internal medicine in Emporia for 24 years.
Has served in KS Senate for 6 years.
KEY ISSUES:
Education:
Wants a good education system. His wife teaches special ed – loves kids, hates paperwork.
No increased taxes or gambling to fund education.
Economic Growth:
1. Eliminate the death tax.
2. Phase out income tax rates
3. Increase the dependent exemption to $500; give investment tax credit to small businesses
Courts:
We need a separation of, and respect for, powers. We should not have the state Supreme Court appropriating funds. We need to change the Supreme Court selection process to be similar to the federal process.
Illegal Immigration:
We should not treat illegal immigrants better than American citizens.
English should be spoken.
No in-state tuition or driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants.

Canfield: May recognize as voice and host of "Today’s Father." Here because of issues, issues of the heart. It’s a great day to be a Republican, where ideas prevail. As Kansas goes, so goes the nation. We are in the heart of the nation. The leadership in the next four years is critical. Grew up in Wichita. Has had some of the same impact as we have had in regard to the economy.
Need to focus on Republican principle of limited government. Keep government slim and trim. Cut taxes.
Took the taxpayer’s pledge – will not raise any taxes under any circumstance.
Bring private/venture capital to state that will allow the economy to grow.
Wife’s heritage tied to Harvey county. If we don’t keep our families strong, there isn’t a check big enough that we can write.
We need to bring government programs into accountability.
There is much we can do to strengthen families.
We need to fix our courts.
We need to give power back to the legislature

Crowell: From Longton, 90 mi. SE of Wichita. Rancher, County Commissioner, School Principal. More moderate than three ordained candidates in race. The courts had no other choice [in the school funding ruling], because the legislature had never defined what is an adequate education. We need no other selection process for Supreme Court. Courts job is to protect rights of the minority against the tyranny of the majority. Has 4 daughters, one step-daughter. Needs job, because college grad daughter is not financially independent. Race is about leadership, vision, who can beat Sebelius. Leadership – in State Legislature previously, Chairman of Transportation Committee. We need to focus on providing the best education, developing alternative energy production, a better legal system, and healthcare.

Jennison: From Healy. 55 miles North of Garden City. Family has live there since 1887. Currently farms with his dad and brother. In 1990 was elected to House of Representatives. Is involved in Kansas Farm Bureau and Kansas Livestock organizations. Was Speaker of the House during his last term in office. Interested in tourism. Started tourism company to promote outdoor tourism in Kansas. We have a lot to offer in Kansas. Biggest problem is our perception of our state.
We have a problem – a Governor that does not lead.
I am not ready to concede that rural Kansas needs to dry up and blow away.

Pickell: From Prairie village, trial lawyer. Both [self and running mate] Eagle Scouts. Only team that has gotten into every county in Kansas in one day. Spent only $1500 to do it. Need to take back Kansas and get it back to Republican principles. Fourth generation Kansan. Owned and operated two family farms. Reminder of Abraham Lincoln, criticized as centrist thinking individual.
We need a state auditor. We have no accountability. We need to look for ways to cut waste.
Advocate for rural revitalization – high speed internet access in all counties.

Question Two: What are your plans to address Kansas taxes, public debt and the number of government employees?

Canfield: Give taxt cuts and grow revenue. Return more money to the people. Studies show and known to be true – Governor’s budget grew from 2 million to 12 million. That will be gone the first day in office. Will provide greater service to the people of Kansas. Cliché is true – When the monster’s hungry, the monster eats. Topeka needs to be made accountable to the people. Identify people within agencies and challenge them with the governor’s budget cuts. Lead by example so they will want to do the same. What to do with cuts? Reduce debt, return money to the people, grow the economy. Send a message to the nation, which is also struggling with same problem.

Crowell: First, be honest about last four years. Increased debt. State is not in an enviable position any more. Governor found 1 billion in waste. Hard to pass another highway plan. What’s happened? Also took away the money that local units were getting from state. 3 years ago, property taxes went up 27%. State stopped sending back money that they had been for several years. Kids in college for past several years. College tuition increase, close to 100%.
Personal principle – debt/mortgaging future generations is worse than tax increase.

Hawver: [Arrived late and jumped in at this point in the forum.] From Ozawkie. Practicing lawyer. Vietnam veteran. Running for Governor because we’re running into hard times. High gasoline prices, which will change the way we live. Propose that we need lower taxes. Need to reduce drastically the size of this big, inefficient “Cadillac” state government. Money into it is like tossing it into a black hole; it’s not circulated properly. Anti-War Veteran. Against war in Iraq. People probably won’t hear about me, considering the treatment I’ve gotten from the press so far. Lower taxes below every competing state by reducing the size of government. Why am I dressed like this? The last successful revolutionaries in this country dressed like this. In order to institute what I’m proposing, we’re probably going to need a revolution.

Jennison: More difficult question because of the Governor we’ve had – not used sound fiscal policy in governing the state. We used to pay property taxes June 10. She moved it one month forward. Took 800 million dollars out of transportation plan and said she found new money. It was a contingency plan, developed in 1999. Now we will never meet goals set forth because the Governor took that money. She put that money into ongoing spending as well. 70% of budget goes to education. Establish what an education is so that we have a benchmark from which to start to identify inefficiencies in education.

Pickell: Plan is both simple and complex. Kansas currently ranks 6th highest per capita for number of government employees. Proposed state auditor will not be an additional financial burden. Cost of auditor’s office – we’re only one of four states without one - less than 1/20th of one percent of the current budget. If things continue, we will have a terrible budget crunch. We need a plan day one to cut government spending. We can cut 5% of the budget ($700,000) by hiring a state auditor. We can expand our economy through Ethanol development and rural development. Goals are dreams with a deadline.

Barnett: Taxes: Will eliminate death tax first day in office, phase down income tax 10%, $500 dependent exemption, 10% investment benefit. State needs to live within means.
State employees – too many – last four years lost over 10,00 private sector jobs, while increasing over 11,000 government positions; need to grow the economy.

Question Three: What are your plans to restore some sense of fiscal responsibility to school funding?

Crowell: Courts have indicated that we need to spend more money. Until we define and fund an adequate education, we will be in a problem with the courts. Courts did not have any choice based on information they had in front of them. Need to keep an exemplary school system in state. Reduce size of government. Bring in wind farms; put us on cutting edge of alternative energy production. In business area – cut paperwork for small business. Get government off back of small business.

Hawver: Schools. We have the same problem – we’ve been spending more and more money in the past 20 years and getting poorer and poorer results. Spending so much money now that it’s biting into our state economy. I’ll bet you that at least 60 percent of that money goes to administration. Superintendent earns $170,000 in his district. It seems absurd. I don’t even know what this guy does. I don’t know what a lot of them do.

Jennison: To find efficiency in KS, we need to look at education. Before 1992, we had locally-controlled schools. Joan Finney established state-run schools. In 2005 we ended up with court-controlled schools. We need to establish specifically what an education is in the state of Kansas. Then, we need to return local control to schools and enable them to meet the standards. If we try to hold every school equal, we’ve got a formula for mediocrity. Each district has different needs. State needs to make sure that every school, every district has the funds and opportunity to teach the things that are important to them in their district.

Pickell: Ignorance is more expensive than education. Dad moved from Wyandotte Co. to Johnson Co. for better school district. Should not be jealousies between rural and urban education. Standards should be set at the state level. Each community can choose to spend more money on their schools if they want to. Teachers are not overpaid. Divide typical salary by number of students and number of hours – less that $1/hour/student. Need state auditor to help save money and cut wasteful bureaucratic spending.

Barnett: Governor should fulfill constitutional duty and fund education. Sebelius has not supported or funded a bill for education. Get court out of control – legislature has power of purse and can balance spending. Reduce administration costs. $100,000-$200,000 salaries for school administrators is too much. Money should go into the classroom – proposes that 65% of money spent goes to teacher and into the classroom.

Canfield: I’m a product of Kansas education – it was good. Influenced me and allowed me to influence others. Costs are going up because kids are not prepared. Why? Families are fractured. Teachers are expected to do things they weren’t even prepared to do. Superintendent John Morton [in Newton] is worth his money – stays up day and night thinking about how to make students in this district better students. There is an accountability piece that is extraneous – No Child Left Behind. We were on that before it came our way. Go back to 1992 – school funding formula needs to be revisited and simplified. Hold harmless the current funding. Move back to per year per child funding. Move as much money to classroom and teacher as possible.

Question Four: What is your stance on a woman’s right to choose? Give concluding remarks.

Hawver: Okay…I’ve told you folks, I want small, unintrusive government that lets us make our own choices and enjoy them or suffer from the consequences. Dead set against abortion personally. But will fight for any woman to make her own choice. It’s a question of freedom. It’s not a government question. It should not be subject to law. It should be the decision of the woman, the family, as to what she is to do with her body. I do feel it’s murder. Every fetus is precious. However, I think freedom, basic freedom of mother, is the main issue our government needs to address. I know I give a rather strange presentation visually and in other ways too. I really do want things changed. I’m basically after the disgusted vote. I believe there are a lot of people in the state who feel pretty hopeless and pretty helpless and pretty disgusted. I’m a Jeffersonian republican. I adhere to and respect the principles of Thomas Jefferson. Government that governs best governs least.

Jennison: Will answer different than generally do. I’m pro-life. It’s not my religious faith that determines what I think of abortion. I think that fetus is a life. Because it is a life, we should protect it. I’m opposed to abortion. There is not a bill the legislature will pass that I will not sign.
This is an important campaign because we have a Governor who has not led. Governor represents state as a whole. We have differences throughout the state. There are tough issues with the authority and power of the Governor. We elect a governor to make the tough decisions. We would be better off with a Republican, because the Republicans have led our state. Our Republican legislature deserves a lot of credit. We have to come together to make sure we have a Republican in the Governor’s office.

Pickell: Pretty deep, convicted moral thoughts on the issue of abortion. It’s a divisive issue in the party. No candidate is going to be able to eradicate abortion in the state of Kansas. Roe v. Wade is the law of the land. We can follow South Dakota’s lead. I’d like all of Kansas to vote on this issue of abortion and make a decision once and for all.
I don’t believe that Sebelius has been a leader. Graves got the highest total number of votes in the state. Graves, Reagan, Eisenhower – no political experience prior to being elected as Governor. I’m running, not to be a Legislator, but to be a state administrator. Whole goal is to unite party and get rid of Sebelius. If we make it, plan to do some good while we’re there.

Barnett: Dedicated last 24 years of life to diagnosing illness and alleviate pain. Life is a fundamental and core value. I will protect life from conception to natural death. Helped pass legislation to require more sanitary controls in abortion clinics. Also, I believe marriage exists between one man and one woman only. Voted that way in Senate and in booth with the rest of the Kansas in the state.
Clarify – Vote on Eminent domain bill – for example, bill that allowed for a fire department would not have allowed water to run to it. Contrasts – propose school finance that we can afford. Courts should not control it. Not satisfied with Supreme Court selection process. Oppose illegal immigration. We all need to speak in English. Need a governor who will not say, take two aspirin and call me when I’m President.

Canfield: Summarized in billboard outside of town. “Thank goodness your mother chose life.” Will work to stop late-term abortions. Need to protect innocent life at every stage. Communities that are connected grow and thrive. Lt. Governor Kathe Decker is focused on connecting small communities. We have the clearest contrast. Voting record is crucial – you can’t play cards if you vote the same way as the current governor.
Gambling issues – will be difficult to put card on table if you have voted the same way as the Governor on those issues.
Raising Taxes.
Introduced wife. We think it’s a team event – a team that’s not only a family, but a team of Republicans that can prevail in November. We must build discernment with fact and bring and build on the truths and ideals that made Kansas great.

Crowell: You can see my views on abortion at website. Spent a lot of time thinking over these issues. Not all daughters agree on this issue. All daughters are single. If daughter said, Dad I cannot bear to have this child, I would support them. Sent Notification bill to floor of house. For 16 years, unable to get abortion issue debated on house floor.
Here’s my take on the issue (not necessarily how I feel personally, but what I think everybody could buy into):
1st trimester – should wait 48 after counseling.
2nd trimester – only to save life of mother or prevent her from severe disability, or if two psychologists agree that mother is suicidal and likely to attempt suicide if required to carry baby to full term.
3rd trimester – only to save the life of mother or prevent suffering significant permanent physical disability.

My Summary of the Candidates:

Barnett: Confident and Concise – always finished before the allotted time; gave clearly articulated and well-formulated ideas and plan of action; familiar with political process and how to get things accomplished.

Canfield: Passionate and Purposeful – has a heart for the issues; lofty ideals, not as much in the way of practical implementation.

Jennison: Smooth and Slick – a former lobbyist for the gambling industry, Jennison spoke not a word about the issue; he knows the right things to say when in a conservative crowd, or perhaps, which things not to say.

Crowell: Lukewarm and Lacking depth – fairly random; a lot of words, a little substance; trying to stand on a platform constructed by what he perceives others can buy into, rather than on principle.

Pickell: Proud and Partyman – mentioned his travel of all Kansas counties in a day several times; first priority=party unification, then fulfilling responsibilities of Governor.

Hawver: Disgusted and Demoralizing – deep-seeded bitterness seemed evident in his words and manner of speech; emphasized problems and gave no vision for the future; no reason to hope.

We are down to the final days before the Primary. Pick your candidate and don't forget to vote on August 1! Be sure to add Eric Carter to your list for Insurance Commissioner!

All photographs courtesy of Naomi. Thanks, little sis - great job!

Welcome to Summer!

2006-06-21T14:56:00.000-07:00

What better way to greet the official first day of summer than with a day off? This morning I was thrilled when I looked at my calendar and realized I had absolutely nothing officially scheduled! It occurred to me that it had been a while since I experienced such a treat, so I checked my calendar and discovered that, indeed, my last such day off was February 11. Whew! I knew I’d had a busy Spring, but I didn’t realize it was quite that busy! The Lord is so good to provide the energy and time to accomplish all that He has called me to do at this time in my life.

I thought I would commemorate this momentous occasion with a post, so here are a few highlights from May:

A Trip to the Recording Studio

All year long my students worked toward the privilege of going on a special trip to a professional recording studio. Twelve dedicated students rose to the challenge and each got a chance to record a piece of their choice.

Bachelorette Party 2006

After months (or years, depending on who you ask… :-) ) of waiting and planning, the big day was just around the corner. Dear friends Tiffany and Chase were to be married on May 19 and we just couldn’t let Tif go without a memorable bachelorette party.

A surprised bride-to-be found herself surrounded by friends and family who presented her with her challenge. We gave her a photo album filled with index cards, each card indicating a specific photo scenario. Her mission throughout the night would be to exchange each card with a picture in fulfillment of that requirement.

Do I see a modeling career in the future for Tif?

It just wouldn’t be right to hold such an event for Tiffany without including a trip to Starbucks.

Displaying the fun shirts Lisa ordered for all of us for the occasion.

The Rehearsal and Wedding

A glimpse into the rehearsal proceedings.

Okay, so I missed some of the in between photo ops…there’s only so much you can do while trying to remain inconspicuous behind the piano. (Helpful note to cell phone users: “Off” only controls the ringer. When desiring to achieve the afore-mentioned goal of remaining inconspicuous, be sure to use the “Silent All” feature, thus precluding the embarrassment of voice message alerts sounding during the ceremony. Not that I would know from personal experience or anything…)

The Processional
As part of my wedding gift to Chase and Tiffany, I offered to arrange their two favorite hymns into the processional for the ceremony. I didn’t realize their favorites would be such contrasting styles!

A mini reunion! Myklin, Nicole, Trisha and I were the Thursday crew at the Tea Room for years. It was fun to have a few moments to visit together again.

The last time we were all together was before the three of them got married last August (all within a week of each other!) Now Trisha is the proud mother of a precious little girl, Myklin is the expectant mother of a little one and we’re still waiting for the announcement from Nicole… ;-)

Naomi’s Track Meet

Cheering on Naomi at her Free Spirits track meet! Far from slowing her down, her disability has produced in her a determination unmatched by anyone else I know.

Now that summer is here I plan to sit outside by the pool all day every day, sipping lemonade and working on my tan. Oh wait, we don't have a pool...and I don't drink lemonade. Well, so much for that plan...

RSS and Feedreader

2006-06-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

Posted especially for Lydia. :-)

Here's a copy of what I posted some time ago on my other blog (I've updated it here, though to reflect information for the newest version of Feedreader):

Have you heard the term RSS? There are a number of different definitions for RSS, but in a nutshell, RSS allows you to receive instant updates from sites as new posts are added. This is a great way to stay up to date with new information without having to visit numerous sites repeatedly to see if posts have been added or not. It has saved me tons of time and increased my ability to keep up with what’s going on literally around the world!

There are many options available, but here are step-by-step instructions for the RSS aggregator I use and really like:

1. Go to the Feedreader website.
2. Click on the "Download Feedreader" link at the top of the right column.
3. Click on the "Download Feedreader 3.03 from Fileforum" link.
4. Click on the "Download Now" link in the right column.
5. Save the file to your computer in the location you select.
6. Once finished downloading, follow the instructions to install Feedreader on your computer.

Once Feedreader is installed, follow these few simple instructions to start receiving updates right away:
1. Click on the "New" button to add a feed to your list.
2. When the "Add Feed" window pops up, enter the url for the RSS feed. (Note: You must enter the feed url, not just the website or blog url. You will have to find a link on the website or blog to the specific feed. For example, here is the feed for my blog. On Blogger, you can usually locate the feed by entering atom.xml following the root directory for the blog in the url window at the top of your browser.)
3. That's it! You can experiment with different options and organize the blogs into folders, etc.

Feedreader runs as a stand-alone program on your desktop rather than as a web-based reader, which I really like. It's a great program - you should check it out!

Impacting the Future

2006-06-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

“One generation shall praise Your works to another, and shall declare Your mighty acts…They shall utter the memory of Your great goodness, and shall sing of Your righteousness.”
Psalm 145:4 & 7

“The most important thing one generation can do is to equip the next generation to lead.”
Jeff Myers

From this challenging statement made by Dr. Jeff Myers, who would be one of the Keynote Speakers at this year’s Teaching Parents Association Convention, and the inspiration of the above verses, was born the theme for this year of Adventures In Character (AIC).

In our six months of intense planning and preparation, we saw God amazingly answer some very specific prayer requests and we entered the weekend of AIC knowing that it would be only by His power that our efforts would be successful. From the conversations I’ve had, the e-mails I’ve received and the parents with whom I’ve spoken, I can only declare, “To God be the Glory!” I believe that His name was praised and that many seeds were sown that will bear lasting fruit for years to come.

(Although I hardly took any pictures over the weekend, several others made use of my camera to capture a little bit of what took place. I’m hoping to collect more pictures from others, so if that happens, I’ll try to post some additional pictures. But for now, enjoy just a glimpse into our world of AIC!)

Setting up the entry way on Thursday.

Nathan, the Storyteller for our drama, looks on during the dress rehearsal on Thursday afternoon.

Sir Conley presents his page, Andrake, with a special belt to identify him now as a Squire in the Kingdom.

Miss Tiffany and Miss Cori work hard to organize and distribute all the materials to the teachers who will be working with the children once they arrive.

Following are pictures of some of the teachers and assistants as they prepare for their time with the children. We had a total of 56 young people who invested their time and energy to teach the almost 300 children who attended AIC:

Miss Misty and Miss Chandler

Miss Allison, Mr. Chad, Miss Tori, Miss Faith

Miss Susan, Miss Esther

Mr. Cole, Miss Emma, Miss Hannah

Mr. Lucas, Miss Ashley, Miss Janelle, Miss Jonalee, Mr. Nathanael

Mr. Jarius

Mr. Cade

Miss Laura, Mr. Grant

Mr. Blake

Miss Shawna

Mr. Levi

Miss Jamie

Miss Lisa and Mr. Josh work on getting everything set up and ready for registration.

The children have arrived and the fun has begun! The two days of AIC will be packed full of singing, learning Bible verses, watching the drama, spending time with their team of 15 or so students, and making lots of fun crafts to take home as a memory of the lessons they learned.

Students who spent time with Miss Kayla or Mr. Seth at Veritas Tower got a chance to try on a real knight’s helmet!

One of our primary purposes in starting AIC seven years ago was to provide a way for families to attend the Convention together. We want to be a blessing to the parents and help give children a vision for homeschooling. It is always encouraging to hear from parents afterward and to know that this goal has been met. Here are some of the comments I’ve received this year:

“We have not done this in the past, and I can not begin to tell you how impressed I am. Every time I looked in on the children during the conference, it seemed all was going well, the children were kept busy and everybody was happy! [My boys] were already asking us when they can go back to AIC! I foresee my boys talking about it all year long until the next conference!”

“I want to tell you that AIC was excellent this year. When my 6 year old explained sin to me the other day and said that even taking a 'little piece of candy' was sin, I knew you all had her attention and had actually taught her something. Thank you!!”

“I heard so many comments from moms that they were surprised to see a place for the children and that most conventions don't welcome children. Thank you for your long hours of work to make our convention what it should be - a support for FAMILIES.”

“My nine-year old son commented on how nice it was to be in a place where there were lots of girls, but he didn’t have to worry about looking at them because they were all dressed modestly.”

“Our family used to not be committed to homeschooling through high school, but after my children attended AIC for the first time last year and saw all the high school aged homeschoolers helping and realized what it would ‘look’ like to homeschool through high school, we’ve never thought again about the possibility of not homeschooling all the way through.”

“Every day I will bless You, and I will praise Your name forever and ever.”
Psalm 145:2

“Coming together to support parents in instilling the principles of God’s Word in the lives of the next generation.”

What Things Will Matter?

2006-05-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

What things will matter
on the day I behold
the Face of the One
Who planned my life from of old?

Will the endless tasks
and the plans that I make,
the many duties of each day,
be all for vanity’s sake?

I pondered and I worried
and tried without rest
to fill up every day
with the things I thought best.

But still, the nagging thought
my conscience plagued,
How could I be sure
my plans were the best to be laid?

Then His whisper came softly
upon my ear,
“Abide in me,” were the words
of my Savior dear.

Alas to me
the way was clear;
I could live in full joy
by keeping my Savior near.

Each day might be wrapped
in a new design
and look completely different
than any plan of mine.

But the promise of much fruit
would come to bear in my life
by walking with my Savior
and making Him my delight!

Inspired by:

“He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit…Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit.”
John 15:5,8

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”
Psalm 16:11

A Word to Women

2006-04-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

A dear friend of mine who is now married and serving with her husband in Ukraine has written A Word to Women, describing her role as a keeper at home on the foreign mission field. Not only does she write eloquently on this subject, but her words overflow with the sweet presence of the Word of God written upon her heart and exemplified in her life. Kelsie has been an inspiration to me for many years; her love for the Lord Jesus radiates from her in so many ways!

I was going to copy several key excerpts here for you to read, but the whole article is so good that I would have ended up copying it in its entirety! I will include here her opening and closing statements, but you should definitely read the whole thing for yourselves!

“Before I came to the foreign mission field full time, I tried to take various measures to win the lost both at home and in other countries, such as handing out tracts or befriending lost people and witnessing to them. But since being married, the Lord has revolutionized my view of ministry. Because I am now a wife, my role is one of support. It is my job to back up my husband and help him in his calling as a missionary, not necessarily to be the missionary...

…Each one of us as women can have an important impact in changing this world by fulfilling our God-given roles and serving under the direction of our authority.”

I confess, even a year ago, I might not have found myself agreeing so readily with the sentiments expressed by Kelsie. But the Lord has ever so patiently been at work on my mind and heart, transforming and conforming me according to His powerful Word by which is "given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust." (2 Peter 1:3-4)

Oh that we might increasingly experience the precious promises of God in our lives as we recognize and embrace the unique roles to which He has called us and which He has revealed to us in His Word!

It's Official!

2006-04-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

My Dad called me in Texas last Saturday, only hours before the conference was scheduled to begin, to convey the exciting, and long-awaited, news. The letter had arrived in the mail that day – MTNA (Music Teachers National Association) had approved my portfolio and granted me certification as a Nationally Certified Teacher of Music!

Several years ago I became aware of the potential for music teachers to become certified through MTNA. Desiring to be the best teacher possible for my students, I began my pursuit toward this end. For a variety of reasons, I chose not to go the traditional route of earning a degree in music to qualify for this certification. Instead, I continued my piano studies privately with Dr. Sylvia Coats, a Professor at a local university. Through her guidance and instruction, I met the necessary performance requirements to enable me to send in my initial application.

The next step of the Certification process required the teacher to demonstrate that “they have substantial knowledge of music theory, music history/literature, and pedagogy/teacher education.” In the absence of college transcripts, I was permitted to clep out of the equivalent by taking three tests last fall corresponding to each of the above areas. Having passed those, I was ready for the final step: submission of a portfolio documenting my Professional Teaching Practices, Professional Business Management, and Professionalism and Partnerships. After many hours of work, the portfolio was completed and mailed in at the beginning of March.

Through this extensive process, I have seen God provide in some amazing ways. For example, early last fall I was prepared to send in my application, but realized that I didn’t have the amount of money necessary to do so (the fee for sending in the application and requesting clep tests was pretty significant). I could have saved enough from my teaching income to provide the necessary amount by the end of the year, but this would have delayed the commencement of the whole process until after the first of this year. I prayed fervently that somehow the Lord would provide the money necessary so that I could get everything sent in and be able to take the tests before the end of the year. Amazingly, that month, one of the families who take lessons from me decided to pay for the entire semester of lessons up front, rather than monthly. They had never done this before and seemed to have randomly decided to do so at this time. The total amount was exactly what I needed in order to send in all of my application materials! I was thrilled to be able to share with them how the Lord had used their “random” decision to answer my prayer!

Certification renewal takes place every five years, and in the interim I must continue to document my adherence to the standards set forth by MTNA by accumulating points for the prescribed activities and professional involvement. Regardless of how long the Lord directs me to continue teaching, I am confident that the things I have learned in the process of working toward certification, and will continue to learn in order to maintain my certification, will prove valuable in many ways. I am so grateful for the investment of numerous people in my life who have made this possible, specifically, my parents, who first directed my music studies and have graciously allowed their home to double as my studio, my teacher and mentor, Sylvia Coats, and the students I have the privilege of teaching on a daily basis, who are a continual inspiration to me.

“The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.”

Proverbs 10:22

Trip to the Lonestar State

2006-04-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

Texas is definitely obsessed with her star! Every direction you turn, you will find it engraved, plastered, embossed, embroidered, stuck or painted onto something. I have traveled through Texas several times before, but this is the first time I really observed the extensive use of the star. In addition to this observation, throughout my recent visit to the Lonestar state, I was able to brush up a bit on my understanding of life in Texas.

While visiting my dear friend, Myklin, and her husband, Travis, we got to discussing some of the politics of the state. Travis informed me that everyone around there is pro-death penalty, so if a candidate hopes to be elected, he has to include support for such in his platform. I couldn’t tell for sure whether Travis personally preferred the tree hanging method or the tar and feather method for convicted criminals…

After a delightful time with Travis and Myklin, I made my way to Eric and Rachel’s house and stayed a night with them. In the course of our conversation, I learned that Texas has no income tax, no sales tax on groceries, and no statewide property tax. However, there is an interesting situation unfolding in the state right now. From what I gathered, a decision has just been handed down from their Supreme Court, indicating that the excessive property taxing of counties across the entire state is in violation of the constitutional prohibition of such statewide taxing. These property taxes are used to support the local schools, so now the legislators must meet in a special session (otherwise, they only convene every two years, in odd numbered years) to discuss how the schools will continue to receive their funding. I’m sure they’ll just go ahead and cut back the taxes and reduce the school funding since it’s common knowledge that student achievement is not linked to the amount of funding schools receive anyway…

Eric and Rachel and I spent a day traveling to Austin and visiting the Texas State History Museum, which was very informative. Museums are so overwhelming, though. We attempted to explore and absorb three floors full of artifacts and displays documenting the history of Texas and many other aspects of life in the Lonestar state. One highlight was the Star of Destiny theater presentation, accompanied by all sorts of special effects that extracted screams from audience members on more than one occasion. :-) I highly recommend it!

We parted ways with Eric as we left the museum and Rachel and I headed to the home of Jeremy and Carrie (and Reagan), our gracious hosts for the remainder of the week while we attended the MTNA National Conference. (I noticed a marked progression in my travels at this point: newly married couple – newly married couple expecting their first child in four months – newly married couple with their first child…it was interesting to observe each couple and catch a glimpse into their lives!) Carrie is an amazing cook and we were so blessed by the sacrifices they made to accommodate us for the duration of the conference.

The conference was a wonderful time of attending sessions and concerts, catching up with old friends, meeting new people and browsing the many exhibits, gleaning insight and ideas from the wealth of knowledge and experience represented in the thousand-plus attendees at the conference. Here are a few picture highlights from the week:

The opening keynote address by the renowned pianist, Van Cliburn. (You can view a more extensive summary of his address that I wrote on Music Matters Blog.)

Amanda and I went through Suzuki training together several years ago in Chicago. We were excited to run into each other one afternoon in the Exhibit Hall.

We took a trip to the state Capitol building, which I learned is larger than the US Capitol building. Didn’t I hear something somewhere about things being bigger in Texas…?

A small group of us who know each other through a piano teacher’s e-mail group met up for a quick tour of downtown, guided by our very knowledgeable driver, Diane.

Rachel and I discovered the most incredible grocery store ever! (Someone really needs to open one of these in Wichita...) Jeremy and Carrie had told us about it, and we were awestruck as we explored the aisles and sampled the tasty goods. All around the perimeter of the store were stand alone island restaurants, surrounded by small round tables, presenting the fare offered in that particular part of the store. There was an incredible variety – from seafood to barbecue to Italian to Indian, there was something for everyone and way too much for anyone! We had the hardest time trying to decide what to eat when we went there for dinner one night.

A shot of one of the little island restaurants and surrounding tables for diners.

A huge assortment of loose teas could be smelled and a pot of one was available for sampling.

Chocolate anyone?

Or perhaps something from this selection of delicacies?

I didn’t even know there were this many kinds of cheese!

Pizza baked in a woodburning fireplace. Yum!

Creatively displayed gelato. This was our final stop on the way out. The man behind the counter saw me snap this shot and informed me that no pictures were allowed to be taken in the store. Oops… :-)

The final night of the conference we attended a live broadcast of the radio show From the Top, a program produced to showcase some of the many talented young musicians from across America. Each of the five young performers did an outstanding job and it was fun to watch them interact with Christoper O’Riley, the host of the show, as he interviewed them and helped draw out their personalities. The show we observed is scheduled to air sometime in September.

As I crossed the border on my return home, I left behind me the star-studded streets, but carried with me the memories of wonderful times with friends and the resolve to apply the things I learned to become a better teacher and to encourage my students to pursue their music studies with excellence.

Building Bridges

2006-03-19T22:17:00.000-08:00

This has long been one of my favorite poems. It never ceases to inspire me whenever I reread its timeless message:

The Bridge Builder

An old man, going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening, cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast, and deep, and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned, when safe on the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.

"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim, near,
"You are wasting your strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way;
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide-
Why build you the bridge at the eventide?"

The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
A youth, whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."

Will Allen Dromgoole

Particularly in my own family, the Lord has impressed upon me the value of “building bridges” for my younger siblings. As the Lord teaches me important truths, leads me through unforgettable experiences or allows me to acquire valuable skills and training, I seek to impart what I can to my younger siblings and to encourage them in their own pursuits. Most recently, we have begun a speech class. It has been so much fun to spend time together, learning some of the elements of good public speaking and sharing our presentations with each other. We are just about five weeks into the class, but I am already impressed to see each of them developing their own style as they become more comfortable and confident in their speaking.

Joey is full of enthusiasm, easily incorporating his never-ending flow of questions into his speeches to help draw us in and lead us to the answers as he makes his points.

Naomi is passionate, captivating her listeners from her very first words and amazing us with her depth of insight as she expounds on the issues that are important to her.

Noelle, ever-poised and precise, clearly articulating her thoughts and drawing on her wealth of information, garnered from the hundreds of books she has read.

Let us take to heart the attitude of the gray-haired bridge builder and remember to take time to build bridges for the generations to come. We can start by living out a good example, but let us continue with an intentional investment in the future through the lives of those young ones who will follow in our steps. What bridges are you building today?

Bound to the Law of God

2006-03-08T08:44:00.000-08:00

Part Four of a Series on Marriage
Read Part One: How Long Does Marriage Last?
Read Part Two: A Nation of Adulterers
Read Part Three: The "Exception"

What is the basis for the marriage covenant that God instituted? We see in the very beginning that God instituted marriage because of His unique creation of the sexes. When a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves unto his wife, they become one flesh and God joins them together in a lifelong union.

The marriage covenant is not specific to Christians, but was established at the outset of God’s creation of the human race and is equally binding on all marriages between a man and a woman.

We have seen how Jesus upheld the lifelong covenant of marriage in His teaching. Now we will look at Paul’s teaching on marriage.

We first see Paul refer to the marriage covenant in his letter to the Romans:

“For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.”

Romans 7:2-3

Paul clearly upholds marriage as established by God in the beginning – as a lifelong covenant that ends only when one of the parties dies.

We next find a lengthy discussion of marriage by Paul in I Corinthians 7. Specifically, we see Paul address a situation where an unbelieving spouse departs from a believing spouse:

“But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”

I Corinthians 7:15

This departure (or putting asunder) was what Jesus expressly commanded against:

“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Matthew 19:4-6 (emphasis added)

Is Paul now saying that the departure of an unbelieving spouse would render the marriage covenant established by God no longer binding? Certainly not. We have already seen that Paul understood the marriage covenant to be terminable only by death.

If someone is “under bondage” to another, they are obligated to follow them wherever they go. They are constrained to do whatever the one to whom they are in bondage requires of them. Numerous places in Scripture, we are taught that those who are bound to earthly masters are as freemen in Christ. Servitude to an earthly master did not exclude one from being a servant of Jesus Christ. And to the extent that the one to whom they were in bondage did not require them to violate the law of God, they were to continue their servitude to that person. Nowhere in Scripture are we taught that we are no longer bound to the law of God.

In the case of an unbelieving spouse who departs, Paul exempts a believing spouse from continued bondage to that person. They are to let the departing spouse leave and are not obligated to go with them. The departure is a physical separation initiated by man, but does not nullify the marriage covenant as instituted by God. The man and woman have become one flesh – joined together by God – and only death will end the union.

The one who departs does so in violation of the law of God. This does not make the law of God any less binding on the one who remains. If anything, the believing spouse ought to be more resolved than ever to remain faithful to their marriage covenant. For while an unbeliever may completely disregard the law of God, believers recognize that the very faith through which they are saved also establishes the law. (Romans 3:31)

Paul wraps up this discussion of marriage by saying:

“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.”

I Corinthians 7:39-40

So we see that Paul continues, in his teaching on marriage, to uphold marriage as it was originally instituted by God – as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman.

The "Exception"

2006-03-03T18:24:00.000-08:00

Part Three of a Series on Marriage

Read Part One: How Long Does Marriage Last?
Read Part Two: A Nation of Adulterers

No doubt the crowd that was gathered around Jesus that day felt like they were trying to drink water from a fire hydrant. For years they had been living under the life-draining traditions that the Pharisees held up as the epitome of a law-abiding citizen. Now Jesus was promising them new life as a citizen of the kingdom of heaven. But instead of releasing them from the laws God had established thousands of years earlier, He was raising the standard. He was going right to the heart of each law. When Jesus came to marriage, He had this to say:

“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”

Matthew 5:31-32

Just as in the other laws, Jesus was raising the standard for how the people had come to view marriage. We saw that both Mark and Luke recorded this teaching in their Gospels. For a specific reason, however, Matthew is the only one who additionally recorded what is often referred to as “The Exception Clause.”

Jesus intentionally used the word “fornication” when He explained that a man could “put away his wife” for this cause alone. In the same sentence, He used the word “adultery” twice. It’s clear, then, that Jesus was not saying that adultery was a justifiable cause for divorce. In order to understand to what Jesus was referring when He made this statement, it’s helpful to consider the real-life illustration where this is exhibited. Please notice that it is also recorded only by Matthew in his Gospel. Only a few chapters before, Matthew penned the following:

“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.”

Matthew 1:18-20

According to Jewish custom, if a man who was betrothed wanted to call off the marriage, he had to “put away”/divorce his “wife.” In essence, Jesus’ teaching gave legitimacy to the intentions of Joseph (and any other man who found himself in the same situation) by saying that if a betrothed man found his wife (as she was called) guilty of fornication, he was justified in putting her away. A betrothal was held to be as legally binding as a marriage. The difference is that a betrothed couple had not yet physically consummated their marriage, thus they had not yet been joined together for life by God.

Apparently the Pharisees either weren’t in the crowd when He gave His sermon or they just didn’t get it. Either way, we see them approaching Jesus later on this same subject:

“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?”

Matthew 19:3

I’m not sure what they were expecting Jesus to say, but He took them all the way back to the beginning:

“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Matthew 19:4-6

Once a man and his wife are physically united, they become “one flesh.” God has joined them together for life. Jesus affirmed the marriage covenant as originally instituted by God. It is unbreakable by anyone or anything, except death. In violation of God’s law, man may “put [it] asunder” by initiating a separation, but as we have seen, this entitlement contrived by man even still does not end the marriage itself in God’s eyes.

Dissatisfied with His answer, the Pharisees pressed the issue:

“They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

Matthew 19:7-9

Jesus continued to affirm the life-long marriage covenant as instituted by God in the beginning. To do anything else would have been to destroy the original law that God had given concerning marriage between a man and a woman. Jesus Himself said:

“Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.”

Matthew 5:17-18

Thus we can see that Jesus was, indeed, upholding the law of God, not providing an exception to it.