Miss Penny Lane

things i'm loving/thinking about right now....

2009-11-02T12:52:00.003-05:00

These are not in any particular order...unless stated otherwise. or unless i change my mind.

#1*:

* sidebar: this point actually has a very valid argument for being named the true #1--that is, taking advantage of the aforementioned "unless stated otherwise"—as without this, there’d be no other points being made at this time.

so! the most important thing i'm loving right now is… drumroll, puh-leeze:

............

dun dun duhhhhh!

#1) having a mouse and a keyboard attached to my laptop, without which (as stated above) this message would not be possible. in case you hadn't heard, there is a malfunction with several crucial characters on the laptop keyboard. Those permanently effected are the all important o, l, ., and down arrow keys. this is on a good day. try applying for jobs when, after successfully copying and pasting individual o’s and l’s into every necessary place in the document, the spacebar decides to stick. Again, this on a good day.

this has been exhausting. #2 later.

really?

2009-08-10T15:35:00.002-04:00

Bob Dylan is planning to release an album of Christmas songs, including "Here Comes Santa Claus," "O Little Town of Bethlehem" and "I'll Be Home for Christmas." (What? No "Jingle Bell Rock?") The album was Dylan's idea; Isis magazine reports the songs were recorded in Jackson Browne's studio in May.

really mr. zimmerman? a CHRISTMAS ALBUM?????

fashion police woman: tourist edition

2009-06-29T23:36:00.007-04:00

i could spend all my time taking pics of and writing posts about the fashion faux pas regularly committed by tourists: the tube socks pulled up to the mid-calf; the huge fanny packs (which seem to be worn in the front, so "fanny pack" is a misnomer); an FBI/CIA/Witness Protection Program sweatshirt; the bright orange DC Ducks day-pass chest stickers long after their tour ended, etc. i have thus far kept my mouth shut, but this was just one i couldn't resist.

on first glance, there's not a lot negative about the image. but on further inspection...wow.

ok, #1: this dude has one hand that's out of commission, but with with his free hand, he's carrying the ginormous, heavy bag that the girlfriend decided needed to be schlepped around town. so, that bothered me. but that's not really a fashion faux pas; that's more of an example of a total bitch being lazy and making her boyfriend look like a wuss. (maybe the weight of the purse was hurting her cankles?)

#2: as i passed by the lovely couple (slow, slow walkers-- another total tourist thing), i noticed that the girl had on pantyhose. i know you can't see 'em, but trust me! oh, and this is the kicker: i never would have noticed that she had on pantyhose if it werent for the run all the way up the side of her left leg. i can't think anything to say after that. sorry...

my excuse for being out of touch...

2009-05-15T02:59:00.003-04:00

i've been MIA b/c i've been helping gary, host of the gary pigg talk show, with his blog. check it out. i'll be back soon, i swear.

xoxox,
MPL

been a long time....

2009-04-21T16:51:00.002-04:00

as usual, i've started a bunch of posts and never finished them. i'm too long-winded (shocker) and they just get away from me. another reason is that i have been helping my gary pigg with his new blog, the gary pigg talk show. check it out!

EXACTLY!!!

2009-02-08T11:03:00.002-05:00

i am so pissed that i didn't write this....

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Suck it, Beyonce

2009-02-04T23:26:00.004-05:00

Etta James fucking ROCKS. she slammed beyonce for singing HER song at the inauguration; etta even went as far as to say "i can't stand beyonce." woot, there it is!

the diva has spoken

come to think of it, why didn't etta sing the song herself inauguration night?? if she were dead, then bubblebutt could fill in, but what a bitch-slap for etta not to have been asked.

then again, i think i heard etta say something about that not being her president, so maybe she needs a smack in the skull, but i still LOVE what she said about SASHA FIERCE. ah...it's the little things in life.

btw, i wonder what etta was TRULY thinking at the premiere of cadillac records?? ("gimme some of that grey goose and get this bitch off me!"?)

me likey...

2009-01-31T00:57:00.007-05:00

...the state farm commercial with the young girl (maybe 7 yrs) who asks her dad to borrow the car so she can go to the movies with her friends "kathy and dylan..." "yes, dad; dylan." love it!!

unless you're ridiculously clueless, you know within the first 5 seconds of this spot that the well-spoken, cute, young lass we see asking for the car keys is merely representing how her father still sees his now adolescent daughter who (yikes) has her license.

regardless of the cliches and obviousness of the ad, me likey. well done...

still in bed together...

2009-01-28T22:06:00.004-05:00

ah, bravo and nbc, it's the affair to remember. although you make a super-cute couple, and i like that you cover so beautifully for one another (i.e., i can see repeats of NBC shows on Bravo), the cross-marketing is getting ridiculous. and don't even start me on the product placement.

just as reported in summertime lovers, the networks are once again hot and heavy this season. both the biggest loser and top chef had super bowl challenges this week. funny, because the super bowl was no where near happening when these episodes were filmed; top chef-testants are wearing shorts and t's as they run around nyc, so we know it ain't anytime recently. oh....wait a second. hmmmm... the super bowl is on NBC, right? and the super bowl is THIS sunday, right?! aw, how cute is that? nbc and bravo are such a supportive couple!

so, there's THAT -- the blatant plug for the networks' other shows -- but are they for reals with the product placement???? it's enough that they go over the top about the Glad products, and the Kenmore kitchen, and the Quaker oats, and the Domino sugar, etc, but tom callicio can't be proud of the forced use of DIET DR. PEPPER in a challenge. i love me some DDP, but i don't COOK with it. i don't cook with Velveeta or SPAM, either! are they trying to find the next TOP CHEF, or the next racheal ray?? [excuse me while i vomit] or maybe just the next advertiser. sigh.

biggest loser: each week is now TWO hours. not only b/c they can't find a good show to fill the 9 - 10 spot on tuesdays, but b/c they fluff the shows up with so much damn product placement that they need an extra hour! all that time Bob or Jillian spends going over how to make a healthy meal, it is only for the purposes of product placement. they never used to do this and, although the tips are helpful, the networks need not add another 60 minutes-worth of this show. 24 hour fitness; gatorade; glad; jell-o; fiber one; kraft; etc. I GET IT!!!! oh, and the "celebrity chef," curtis stone? i am aware that he has a show on TLC, but the history of this love affair has made me very paranoid about the alterior motives involved here. is curty getting a show on Bravo? or, is bravo owned by TLC/discovery? no.... so, is this an innocent relationship, or is there something sordid going on with mr. stone and nbc/bravo?

i'm shocked that the various versions of real housewives doesn't place products yet. it can be like the truman show. all of a sudden, in the midst of one of their cat fights, one of them can turn her huge plastic head to the camera and hold up a box of Glad products. or her BlackBerry. oooo, or her Valium!! maybe nbc and bravo are having an affair with Roche labs. tsk; nbc and bravo are such swingers, i swear!!

baby food pudding

2009-01-28T18:47:00.009-05:00

i was talking to Sissy #2 about what i made for dinner. my random concoction was so delicious that i just wrote the recipe down lest i forget an important step/component. anyway, the main ingredient is butternut squash.

Sissy said "yum" and i reminded her of how she ate bottles of baby food squash mixed with plain yogurt until she was FIFTEEN! she said "that's so embarrassing," so i said "not really. i remember buying baby food pudding in junior high school." Sissy said "why was that any better than regular pudding?"

i was stumped for a minute. was it price that took me to the baby food aisle? no...hmm. AH! it's just that packaged puddings existed only in powder form when i was in junior high school. there were no unrefrigerated, ready-to-eat, perfect servings in plastic cups hanging from the wall in aisle 5 (maybe that's why we didn't have so many fat kids back then), so buying a jar of baby pudding was the only way to get a quick fix at lunchtime.

oh, unless you ate at the cafeteria and got your pud'n on there, but only nerds ate at school. (regardless, always remember to be nice to your lunch ladies.)

tonight's random thoughts...

2009-01-19T00:54:00.008-05:00

...kurt and i froze our asses off down on the National Mall for today's concert / event: will.i.am (love love love), U2, mary j blige, john legend, queen latifa, springsteen, mellencamp (COUGAR!!!), stevie wonder, james taylor, usher, tom hanks, rosario dawson, george lopez, steve carell, jack black, sheryl crow, pete seger, etc. OH! lest us not forget the fact that biden and obama both spoke. oh god, that was so hot. over the past 19 yrs i've been involved in several events that culminated on the Mall: never have i seen so many people there, let alone in any one place at a time. i will post pics ASAP.

quick shout out to the city for how amazingly organized things were down there, and for everyone's patience in traffic, lines, and set-backs. it was cold as shit, but how amazing to see what we saw!

this just in:
my college roommates/friends and i used to convince one another to skip class so we could hang out/party/watch TV/sleep/gorge on food, whathaveyou... we had a series of questions that we would ask in order to entice one another to stay home. "how many times have you missed [this class]?" "what's your grade so far?" "do you know anyone in the class?" "can s/he give you notes?," etc.

i learned yesterday that i once convinced elaine to stay home from the library (this is pre-internets and pre-PCs in the dorm) by offering to write the paper she had due the next day. i wrote the paper in all of 1/2 hour. a couple days later, elaine's professor called her aside after class to hand her back the paper (complete with an A+), and to wage a full-on campaign to try to get elaine to change her major to English!! based on that paper!! maybe elaine coulda told me this back then so i wouldn't have wasted the past 20 yrs, but i'm just excited to be able to tell my mom that at least SOMEONE got an A+ using my work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i feel as tho i am part of something BIG!! it started last sunday with fenty and obama bumping chests and patting shoulders outside of ben's chili bowl: that's our PRESIDENT! he's a homeboy! fucking priceless....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a pink good n plenty, 1/2 of a rolds gold, and a small spiced gum drop (preferably purple/black or white in color) make a surprisingly lovely combination.

see you on the flip side!

tamra from "real housewives: oc" is a huge asshole.

2009-01-13T22:42:00.004-05:00

what kind of person treats another (supposed "friend") the way that tamra just treated gretchen? on top of it, while knowing full-well that her scheme to get gretchen wasted and set her up to fail is being taped for broadcast! on top of THAT, she told the other women that she was getting gretchen wasted on purpose. what kind of women sit around and let that happen? that's just disgusting. absolutely disgusting, a new low in life, not just TV. humanity! what women would do this??

this show was fun in the beginning when there was no pecking order and no introduction of "cast members" just to shake things up. this show went from being a bird's eye view into the excess lifestyles of these mostly hard-working ladies and their strong friendships, to a SHOW about too many rich, tan, drunk, catty, plastic, slutty, bitchy, inappropriately dressed, pre-menopausal douchebags. it's like an old-hag version of "the real world." and not when "the real world" was in nyc (the first time), or even san francisco (RIP to my friend, pedro), but when it became a SHOW. these women are nothing like who they were when Bravo aired a 6 episode mini-series. it seems as though everyone "on the show" forgot that they were dealing with real people. this is not "gilligan's island." i can't image being around people who hated me as much as these women hate one another.

but enough. enough. i swear it; i am done with this show forever. sorry, bravo, but these ladies are an embarrassment to women everywhere.

how the TP rolls....

2008-11-17T00:38:00.005-05:00

i still don't understand how the issue can be viewed in any other way whatsoever, but the fact that i continue to walk into toilets where the paper is facing any other way than as shown above proves that the issue must be addressed.

lately i've had to admit to myself that this has gone from beyond a preference and has moved into a full-blown obsession. with the exception of those really complicated paper-dispensers in huge multi-stall rest rooms, i will change the direction of the paper on the roll in any bathroom if it is facing the wrong way. parents' houses? check! work? check! 2amys bathroom? check! sister's guest bathroom? check!

oh, and while we're on the subject, unless it is in use, the ONLY only way a toilet should be is closed. all.the.way. no view of water. understand? this is not a male/female issue. all lids closed makes it the same effort on everyones part anyway... if for no other than the obvious reasons, your loo will feel so much larger when you're shaving in the mirror, putting on make-up, brushing your teeth, etc. the other reasons aren't necessary to describe in detail. you can imagine for yourself. ew.

and no shag rugs ON your toilet. or wooden toilet seats. i must cut myself off before i need a xanax...

lips done well

2008-11-09T21:29:00.004-05:00

you ever watch cold case? i HATE the theme song, which perfectly emulates the sounds of a dead woman howling along side a pack of dying cats in the Grand Canyon. the so-called "music" doesn't even give me the willies, which i think is its intention...it's just AWKWARD, and very unpleasing to the ear. but i do love the show and wish i remembered to tune in sunday nights on a more regular basis.

anyway, the purpose of this post is not the aforementioned music-driven, mystery drama; rather, its female lead: Kathryn Morris.

ms morris has evidently gotten her lips injected, and, well...they look GREAT. actually, it appears as though work may have only been done on her bottom lip, but what do i know? the results of whatever procedure(s) she had are flattering, sexy, and not overdone at all. the pale beauty is far less obvi than meg ryan, and eons away from the all-time natural fish-lips, angelina --vomit-- jolie. ms. morris had some embellishments, but she didn't take it out of the realm of reality. well done, girl.. too bad joan rivers didn't take your lead....

Scary Movies Part 2

2008-10-31T19:51:00.003-04:00

the yr was 1982. i was 11. i made my dad take me to see Poltergeist. i never liked clowns then. i sure as hell don't now. or leafless trees outside my bedroom window, for that matter.

i still love saying "mommy, where are you, mommy? i can't see you mommy!" into a box fan--that never got old at summer camp. "stay away from the light, carole ann!"

the little woman, tangina; omg! she was so creepy. "It lies to her. It tells her things only a child can understand. It's been using her to restrain the others. To her, it simply is another child. To us, it is The Beast." why did she always remind me of my grandma martha? not the height, but definitely the hair...and accent.

happy halloween!

2008-10-31T03:51:00.003-04:00

until i can spend more time on a proper halloween post, complete w/ old costume photos--if i can find more than 2--here's one of MPL's haunting memories:

1978: dad took me to see halloween in theater. why? because i asked him to. why? because the poster for it was a jack-o-lantern, so i assumed it was a movie about the great pumpkin or something of the like. at least there was a sexual overture... while searching for original HALLOWEEN movie posters, i came across absolutely nothing--NOTHING--that backs up my story. i guess i wanted to see the film b/c i loved fear. the sensation of fear is very interesting. more on that later. in the meantime, here are the 3 main posters for Halloween. which of these convinced my dad that it was an appropriate flick for a 7 1/2 yr old??? :)

sweet sorrow...

2008-10-29T02:05:00.005-04:00

...i have a few posts in the works, but all require major (may-jah!) editing; i will not have time to do so for at least the next few days, so this short-nothing serves as just a shameless chance to show a pic of miss katie dog, and to ask that you please check back toward week's end for some new material.

until then, please be well, be kind to one another, and make an effort to do more than just tolerate those with beliefs different from yours. embrace acceptance, people...for reals, yo. btw, to those who care, i still rock all those underroos, and miss y'all like crazy.

here's the sweetest puppy ever...

omg, seriously?!

2008-10-25T17:02:00.001-04:00

i can think of nothing more to say on the subject, so there it is.

a ridiculously RUDE and, well, pretty stupid looking new trend...

2008-10-22T18:31:00.009-04:00

unless you are david beckham, you can not get away with wearing your damn Bluetooth anywhere except in your car or at your desk, when you truly might need your hands to be free while you talk so you can drive or type. sitting at the table with your family at a restaurant--no. walking down the street--no. riding the metro when you don't even have verizon (the only one that works on metro)--no. it's just like me strapping my damn cell phone to my ear in anticipation of a call. it's ridiculous and SO stupid looking. and rude. and obnoxious. and makes it look like a gigantic water bug is nesting on the side of your head. is this where society is going? b/c if so, i am going to start carrying rubberbands around with me so that everytime i see some douchnozzle with a Bluetooth on, i'm going to bunjeecord my phone to my ear...looks pretty cool, eh? NO--it looks ridiculous, and completely unattractive...just like those who sport a hands-free devise outside of the car or office. believe me, i'm HOT...so this is proof positive of how mental one looks with a Bluetooth. ;)

A Story from the Vaults

2008-10-21T12:04:00.004-04:00

Originally posted December 2005

Funny...

Each of us who has Sitemeter is guilty of using its various features to check out who visits our blogs; we have the potential to pinpoint a reader's location down to their lat/long, for Pete's sake! (By the way, who the hell is Pete?) The only details I find really interesting, though, are those that give me an idea of what it was that actually brought someone to my blog. For example: Referring URL and Visit Entry Page. Most of the time it was a link from someone else's blog, or a direct hit from a friend/regular reader (when I had regular readers). My favorite is when someone is directed to me via Google.

So, anyway, tonight I saw that someone discovered MPL by Googling Penny Lane stripper.

Dirty Birdy suggested I Google Penny Lane stripper myself. Right on.

A link to me was 3rd. Third. Of about 146,000 results, I was 3rd.

10/21/08:
so, you know the expression "you never know who's watching"? well, i do, and have been wondering why some people from a certain server have been checking on a daily basis, and during times that couldn't be considered "lunch." what are you looking for? huh? huh? do tell... :)

lessons on poor leadership

2008-10-14T18:33:00.006-04:00

(AKA: taylor, it's not only your grammar that sucks...)

i am really looking forward to watching the finale of rachel zoe (on DVR after my celebration, of course) b/c i am so hopeful that rachel will open her eyes to what a total asshole taylor has been to brad, which is a HUGE detriment to the success of Rachel's business. if taylor had TRAINED brad and was a true mentor, had defined expectations and goals for him, taught him what he needed to know to not only help grow the company but to give him a sense of accomplishment, brad would be a huge ASSET to the business. due to taylor's (and ultimately rachel's) lack of leadership, they are throwing away a talented person who cares about the success of rachel zoe's business. taylor had it in for brad from minute 1, not even DAY one.

oh, and taylor: "IT'S BRAD OR I" is such an annoying abuse of grammar that i LOVELOVELOVE!!! that Bravo used it over and over and over again in the previews for tonight's show.

taylor has a chance to get me on her good side if she comes around tonight, but this girl ain't holding her breath! there's a way to do things that make everyone relatively happy, and a way to be a total, miserable person. you should go with door #1.

btw, what is taylor's photo shoot all about??? for reals....someone is using her as the face of their marketing campaign?? maybe she's modeling as the cracked-out "before" model in an anti-drug campaign. or modeling for american apparel. either way makes sense...

p.s. i'll post some pics to go along once i figure out why my wireless mouse isn't working. i don't understand laptops....

props to a legend who is already missed

2008-09-27T11:39:00.004-04:00

a fond farewell to a good jewish boy from cleveland...

paul newman, you are an icon. there is nothing i can say about you and your legacy that hasn't already been said during your lifetime and since your recent death. search the papers for all the good stuff--i can't possibly contribute more. i just want to (almost) silently honor you...

2008-09-17T21:09:00.004-04:00

suede, please!! if one chooses to refer to refer to oneself in the 3rd person, as suede seems to love to do, one must be consistent! you can't say "suede thinks that he...blah blah blah, but i think that...and i'm gonna..." this only works if you're sybil. and i hope you're not MPD, suede. your work does not look like someone who has multiple personalities, at least until before tonight's ep, so cut. it. out. now. you may not need to cut it out, as tonight's design may get you cut. i mean, i love it, i would wear it (perhaps as separates), but i am an old gal--this chick just egressed teenage wasteland. i don't think it works at all for a photog -- they need to be discreet/invisible and comfortable. it's either suede or jim...i just hope neither one is on my effing team....

jack was my cat...

2008-09-15T20:51:00.003-04:00

....now he's kurty's dad's cat. but jack lives a great life with jerry and ro in leisure world, where every young cat should live. he hides under the bed from me...sigh. :(

must read...

2008-09-13T11:04:00.009-04:00

not that i have a huge readership, and considering most of my readers are already voting for obama, but i feel as though i must pass it along...i tried copying and pasting, but the tables made it difficult, so you're just gonna have to follow the link and read this letter abou Palin from a resident of her home town...

http://www.andrys.com/palin-kilkenny.html