Buen Amigo

How To Make Someone Happy?

2008-07-17T09:46:00.004+08:00

Are you feeling good and want to make someone else feel good too? Do you have a friend who is feeling sad? Here are a few ways to make someone happy!

Hope to share these interesting tips from WikiHow.com regarding 'How To Make Someone Happy?' :)
(This post is also specially written up for one of my friend who's feeling down right now)

Steps

Smile at them. Don't have a forced smile, but a soft caring smile. You can even practice in the mirror.
Tell them a funny joke. Inside jokes work really well, especially if it is something only between the two of you.
Find something funny online and send it around in an email, such as funny cat clips.
Compliment them sincerely. Tell them how you love their shirt or how their hair looks.
Invite them to do something fun with you that you will both enjoy. Go bowling, swimming, or something else fun and active.
Pick a dandelion or blade of grass and give it to them. Say things such as, “I got this especially for you!” or "I picked this weed just for you!" It is different and might make them laugh at your sillyness, make them smile at your sweet nature.
Listen to them. Try to understand their thoughts and be in their shoes. This shows you care and love them, whether they may appreciate it or not. Be there. They will come to realize what a friend you've been.

Tips

Listen to what they have to say and let them know that you are there to help if
Be happy yourself. You're saying, I know how to be happy - follow me! It can fade their sadness, getting in touch with their desire to enjoy themselves instead of shedding tears.
Do something that encourages sweating. Football, soccer, basketball, a jog with you two together, dancing, bowling, cleaning up the garage, etc.
Give your friend a hug! Tell them how you feel about them.
Take him/her to see animals, especially when he/she loves them!
Do something that is familiar and entertains him/her.
Let them know that you're comfortable with them around - say "Vera! I love you!", "I missed you!", "I love being around you!", "It's so nice to be here with you", etc. The other person would appreciate knowing that they're appreciated! Say anything sweet you truly mean, but have always kept on the inside. It'll make them smile physically and mentally, knowing that it came from the bottom of your heart.

Warnings

If your friend wants to be alone, leave him or her alone, but let them know that if they change their mind and want to talk, you're willing to hear whatever they have to say.
If your friend is upset about someone, don't say bad things about that person, to make things worse. It'd just encourage negative feelings towards that someone he/she is thinking of.
Try to avoid making comments about how you pity him/her.
Don't try too hard to cheer this other person up, meaning trying for a long period of time without any success. If you do, they can start thinking that you can't make them happy.

Things You'll Need

A ready smile.
Patience
A few kind words.
Someone to make happy.

Hope these information helps in making someone around you Happy :)

Dreams

2008-06-17T09:12:00.005+08:00

What's your dream?

Wait a minute, I don't mean dream as what you hope to achieve in future.
But as in 'What you Dream about last night?'

Every dream is unique.
No other individual can have your background, your emotions, or your experiences.
What happened in your dream last night definitely won't happen in your friends Dream tonight.

Dream is a reflection of how we're coping with our current Life or Situation.
Every dream is connected with our own "reality".
Thus, in interpreting your dreams, it is important to draw from your personal life and experiences.

Dreams is defined in Webster's Dictionary as a "sequence of sensations, images, thoughts, etc., passing through a sleeping person's mind" .
Dreams have been a topic of study dating back to 4000 B.C.
One may say that dreams have been around as long as the first civilization came to be and are just a normal part of human existence.

In our dreams, we can go anywhere, we can be anybody, and we can do anything.
When we dream, we are like passengers on a moving train, unable to control our actions and choose surroundings.
We let our mind take over.

Sometimes, dreams can be understood in the the context of repressed thoughts.
Dreaming serves as an outlet for those thoughts and impulses we repress during the day.

When we go to sleep at night and slip into our dream state, we feel liberated and behave and act in a manner that we do not allow ourselves in our waking life.

Visions and ideas can come from your dreams.
Authors, screenwriters and poets turn to their dreams for stories.
Artists and musicians explore dreams for their inspiration.
Dreams can help us find solutions to our daily problems and see things from a different perspective.

As you can see, the study of Dream goes way back to 4000 B.C.
There's no way we can summary all up into a single post.

So we shall discuss only a few common dreams and their interpretation.
If you hope to learn more or interested to know specific dream interpretation do feel free to comment and request =)

Try asking around your friends, what the most common dream that they have.
Chasing and Falling dreams are definitely the 2 more common one.

Chase dreams often stem from feelings of anxiety in your walking life.
The way we respond to anxiety and pressure in real life is typically manifested as a chase dream.

Running is an instinctive response to physical threats in our environment.
Often in these dream scenarios, you are being pursued by some attacker, who wants to hurt or possibly kill you.
You are running away, hiding, or trying to outwit your pursuer.

Chase dreams may represent your way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life.
Instead of confronting the situation, you are running away and avoiding it�
Ask yourself who is the one chasing you and you may gain some understanding and insight on the source of your fears and pressure.

The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent a part of yourself.
Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can assume the appearance of threatening figure.
You may be projecting these feelings onto the unknown chaser.
Next time you have a chase dream, turn around and confront your pursuer. Ask them why they are chasing you�

One may be consumed by their own anger, jealousy, love, or self-destructive behavior. For example, you may be drinking too much or exhibiting open hostility toward others around you.
You may subconsciously be threatened by these actions which have been jeopardizing your relationships and/or career.
Your dreams are a way of calling attention to these self-destructive actions.

A more direct analysis of chase dreams is the fear of being attacked.
Such dreams are more common among women than men, who may feel physically vulnerable in the urban environment.

These dreams are inspired by fears of violence and sexual assault in which we are so over-exposed from the media.
The violence that the media portrays magnifies our fears and how at risk we all are�

Falling dreams are another theme that is quite common in the world of dreams. Contrary to a popular myth, you will not actually die if you do not wake up before your hit the ground during a fall.

As with most common dream themes, falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties.
You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. This may reflect the way you feel in your relationship or in your work environment.

You have lost your foothold and can not hang on or keep up with the hustle and bustle of daily life�
When you fall, there is nothing that you can hold on to.
You more or less are forced toward this downward motion without any control.
This lost of control may parallel a waking situation in your life.

Falling dreams also often reflect a sense of failure or inferiority in some circumstance or situation.
It may be the fear of failing in your job/school, loss of status, or failure in love�
You feel shameful and lack a sense of pride.
You are unable to keep up with the status quo or that you don't measure up.

According to Freudian theory, dreams of falling indicate that you are contemplating giving into a sexual urge or impulse.
You maybe lacking indiscretion.

Falling dreams typically occur during the first stage of sleep.
Dreams in this stage are often accompanied by muscle spasms of the arms, legs, and the whole body.
These sudden contractions, also known as myclonic jerks.

Sometimes when we have these falling dreams, we feel our whole body jerk or twitch and we awaken from this jerk.
It is thought that this jerking action is part of an arousal mechanism that allows the sleeper to awaken and become quickly alert and responsive to possible threats in the environment.

According to biblical interpretations, dreams about falling have a negative overtone and suggest that man is acting and walking according to his own way of thinking and not those of the Lord.

You may find many other different dreams interpretations out there.
But like I mention previously, in interpreting your dreams, it is important to draw from your personal life and experiences.
Only with these factors, then you'll be able to relate what your dream is trying to tell you and thus find a suitable solution =)

Is This Life?

2008-05-26T14:32:00.010+08:00

'A powerful aftershock in southwest China has killed at least six people and levelled thousands of buildings in a region already devastated by the Sichuan earthquake.'

I couldn't remember the number of times I've seen news regarding Sichuan earthquake on television, internet or newspapers.

It seems like everyday something new or something sad happened.

Sitting on my bed, watching Sichuan earthquake charity event on television.

Listening to all the sad stories and invites for donation.

I'm starting to wonder, is this life?

We might lead a totally different Life at different parts of the world.

But we both experienced Birth and will go through Death one day.
(If you're able to escape Death, do let me know as I'm interested to learn too =P)

'Birth, Age, Illness and Death is the cycle of Life that everyone must go through'

What about those people who died in the earthquake?

When people experienced age or illness, they'll 'prepare for death' by doing something meaningful in their Life.
But for those people who died in the earthquake, they might not even notice what happened the second before they died.

What will you do if you know you'll die tomorrow?
You definitely spend time with your loved ones, telling them how much you love them and how much you'll miss them.

But the problem is, we'll never know when we're going to die.

'There's aways tomorrow to have dinner with my family'
'There'll be another day to tell my parent I love them'

What if there's no another day, tomorrow or even another minute?

If there's afterlife, how would we feel if we die without doing all these?
We'll die with lots of regrets in our heart.

'Live as if you'll die tomorrow, Dream as if you'll live forever'

Pick up a phone, call your loved ones and tell them how much you love them.
How much of your time would it take?

Make a appointment with your parent, bring them out for dinner tonight.
We all need to eat do we? What not make this 'eating session' more meaningful?

Let us pray for those missing due to the earthquake.
Pray for their safety and hope aid will reach them soon.
Pray for the injured physically and emotionally.
Pray for them the pain will go away soon.

Do help provide aid and support in anyway which is within your capability.

If there's no means of donation available in your country, do feel free to drop by http://www.google.com/chinaearthquake/ for donations.

Thanks a million Buen Amigo.

Back From Taiwan!

2008-05-21T10:49:00.015+08:00

Hi all Buen Amigo!

Sorry that I've not been posting for quite sometime.
Recently been really busy with Life.

Or should I say, I'm tire of never changing Life Style, therefore I'm working hard to change it =)

That's what happen to most of us.
Everyday is just a routine with a standard timetable.
Things we do, people we talk to, stuff we hear.
Sometimes it's so routine that Life seem so meaningless.

I love changes and I love exploring Life!
And my latest Life Exploration is Taiwan.

It might be a short 8 Days trip, but understanding how their way of Living differs from ours made a deep impact to me.
These differences allows me to understand how different people struggles to Live while enjoying Life in this ever changing world under different culture.

Do allow me to share some of the photos I took during the trip.
And if you hope to know or understand more, why not travel there yourself and experience it?

Enjoy =)

Last but not least, for my Buen Amigo who've been wondering who's the guy behind this blog.

My girlfriend and me =)

That's all for today, take care Buen Amigo!

Headaches Part 2

2008-04-23T10:02:00.003+08:00

There’s so many ways of relieving headaches out there whether it’s scientifically proven or not.

From using Lemons, Apple, Cinnamon to even Rosemary.
No one is able to say if it’s useful or able to relief as it depends on individual.

What about the ways to control or relief headache scientifically?

Before I start, do remember all the following methods RELIEF headaches but not CURE it.

These methods can be categorized into 2 groups, natural or drugs relief.

Let me explain the methods without help of drugs or natural remedy.

Get Some Sleep
As we discussed previously, most common headache are often triggered by stress and fatigue.
Sleeping reduces stress (check out post regarding Stress and Management) and fatigue.
Therefore getting some good sound sleep relieves many tension headaches.
But sleeping can also cause a headache if you get too little or too much.
So it’s important to set regular bedtime and get up the same time every morning.

Fuel Your Body
Skipping meals can cause headaches just as easily as missing sleep.
When your body runs low on fuel, it activates the part of the nervous system that increases tightness of the muscles throughout your body,

Mind Your Diet
It's a good idea for people who get frequent headaches to consider the possibility that the foods they ate two to three hours earlier had something to do with their headache.
The common offenders are foods that contain tyramine, an amino acid known to trigger headaches in many people.
Foods or beverages containing tyramine or other headache-producing substances include most alcoholic beverages, aged cheeses, cured meats, pickles, chocolate, citrus fruits, pizza and anything containing monosodium glutamate (MSG).
As different food might have different effect on individual, it’s always a good way to try eliminating them one by one from your diet and see what happens if you suspect that foods are causing your headaches.

Pass On Red
The next time you're offered red wine, think twice.
Red wine contains many chemicals that can dilate blood vessels and cause headaches.

No More Third Cups.
Don't drink excessive amounts of coffee.
If you drink three or more cups of coffee every day in the office and you sleep in late on Saturday, you could wake up with a headache because of caffeine withdrawal.
To prevent that, doctors suggest that you drink no more than one or two eight-ounce cups of coffee a day.

Quite Smoking
Smoking is bad for everyone, and it will make certain headaches worse.
If you smoke, quit.

Get Moving
Exercise is a surprisingly effective treatment for headaches.
It seems odd, but there are people who will play a vigorous game of racquetball and find that their headaches go away.
Exercise relieves stress and can trigger production of natural painkillers called.
Just walking 30 minutes a day three times a week may be enough to prevent headaches and enhance your health in other ways.
But if your headache is accompanied by a fever, you should seek medical advice and postpone exercise until you recover.

Get Warm
One important home remedy is using a heating pad on the neck and shoulders for 15 to 20 minutes daily.
It's a very good way to gradually reduce the frequency of your tension headaches.
The heating pad helps soothe tight muscles and prevents them from squeezing off circulation.
In a pinch, you can try taking a warm shower or hot bath, but neither is as effective as a heating pad, he says.

Learn To Relax
Most important, learn to relax your mind and body.
Do things you enjoy, spend time with your families.
Learn to make time for yourself.

If natural remedies don't work for you, there are plenty of prescription and over-the-counter medications that may relieve your headache pain.

Here are some examples of drug relief.

Reach For An Aspirin
Most people can find excellent relief from their headaches if they take two aspirin or acetaminophen.
Aspirin decreases inflammation, and both aspirin and acetaminophen are good pain relievers.

Do note, never give Aspirin to Children as it might cause Reye syndrome.
Reye syndrome is sudden (acute) brain damage (encephalopathy) and liver function problems of unknown cause.
The syndrome has been associated with the use of aspirin to treat chickenpox or the flu in children.

Caffeine Cure
If you have a moderate to severe headache, try taking your aspirin with a strong cup of coffee.
The caffeine in the coffee will speed absorption of the aspirin.
But do note, as caffeine can increase the effect of certain drugs.
It’s not always suitable to take caffeine with drugs as it might speed up the side effects too.
For example caffeine in coffee or tea can interact with antibiotic like ciprofloxacin and may increase nervousness, sleeplessness, heart pounding, and anxiety.

Is It Time For A Prescription?
For severe cluster or migraine headaches, you may need a prescription drug such as ergotamine with caffeine (Cafergot) or dihydroergotamine.

Ergotamine or dihydroergotamine are in a class of medications called ergot alkaloids.

Ergotamine works together with caffeine by preventing blood vessels in the head from expanding and causing headaches while dihydroergotamine works by tightening blood vessels in the brain and by stopping the release of natural substances in the brain that cause swelling.

Ask your doctor if a prescription medication is right for you.

Be Wary Of Painkillers
There's nothing worse for a headache than using painkillers regularly.

Any pain medication, whether it is prescription or over-the-counter, should not be used more than twice a week for headaches, because regular use of these medications actually lowers your pain threshold and will increase the frequency of your headaches.
These increased in frequency are called rebound headaches, and when this happen consult your family doctor.

Antihistamine The Other Alternative
Histamines are substances that try to attach to the cells in your body and irritate them (Mosquito Bite). Histamines can cause itching, sneezing, a runny nose and watery eyes.
Antihistamines prevent histamines from attaching to your cells and causing symptoms.
Antihistamines can also relieve itchiness caused by insect bites and stings, poison ivy and poison oak.
It’s more commonly use against motion sickness and allergies.

Over-the-counter antihistamines that don't also contain pain medication may subdue your tension headache if you take one or two tablets every four hours.
You can take up to 300 milligrams per day, but don't exceed the daily limit given on the package label.

These antihistamines can cause muscle relaxation if taken repeatedly.
They're effective and they get you away from pain medications.
They may make you drowsy at first, but the more you take them, the more effective they will become against your headaches and the less drowsy you will be.

Headaches Part 1

2008-04-23T09:56:00.001+08:00

Recently I’ve been having frequent headache.

Sometimes to the extent that even painkiller won’t help.

As I am partial medically trained, I understands some of the danger of headaches.
Do you know headache can be one of the symptoms of stroke?

Guess busy schedule, stress and fatigue are the main causes of my headache.

So I’ve decided to do a little research one headache and find a little ‘cure’.

Before I share these causes and cures, as listed below are some symptoms and if you case of headache is alike, STOP reading this article and consults your doctor immediately!

1. You never had headache before, but are getting them now.
2. Your headache persists for more than 72 hours and is disrupting your day to day work.
3. The headache feels like ‘explosion’ in your head.
4. You are also experiencing vision problems, difficulty talking, problems with coordination, weakness in your arms and legs or difficulty thinking clearly.
5. You also have a fever or stiff neck.
6. You get a headache whenever you exert yourself.
7. You're also vomiting but don't feel nauseated.
8. Your headaches are becoming more frequent and severe.

I might sound scary but fortunately, less than 5 headaches in 100 are a sign of a serious underlying illness.
For the majority of us, headaches are a painful but routine part of life.
(Still, do consult your doctor for persistent headache)

Sometimes it seems like nothing feels worse than a nasty headache.
It throbs, it bangs, and it squeezes.
It can feel as if it's twisting your head inside out and wringing all the energy from your body.

9 out of every 10 headaches are muscle contraction headaches, also known as tension headaches.

Often triggered by stress and fatigue, these headaches are caused by sustained contraction of the head and neck muscles.
Tension headaches usually strike in the late afternoon and can feel like a tight band is wrapped around your head.

Sometimes, people often mistake migraine with headache.

Unlike headache, migraine occurs when blood vessels in the scalp dilate.

It often begins early in the morning with intense pain on one side of the head or behind the eyes.

The pain can last for several hours or linger for up to three days.
Some people who have migraines experience auras, flashes of light or zigzag lines, which might lasts from 15 to 30 minutes before the headache occurs.
Migraines also can cause nausea, vomiting and sensitivity to light

Do you know 65 to 75 percent of the people who have migraines are women and are often connected to the menstrual cycle?

Men, however, are more likely to get cluster headaches, an extreme burning or gnawing type of head pain in or around one eye.
Considered one of the most painful types of headaches, cluster attacks may last up to two hours once or twice a day for a month and then not occur at all for six months or several years.
It’s one of the more uncommon types of headache, as it only occurs once in every 100 headache.

Headaches also can be a sign of a cold, flu, high blood pressure, brain hemorrhage, stroke, brain tumor, meningitis, Lyme disease, tapeworm, glaucoma, abscessed tooth or caffeine withdrawal.
They can also be side effects of certain drugs.

As you can see, we can’t really pin point what causes our headache.
They are often natures warning that something is wrong somewhere in the body.

So consulting a doctor is still the best option.

In the next post I’ll share some useful ways to relieve headache =)

Stress and Management (Part 4 of 4)

2008-04-01T11:07:00.002+08:00

There’s so many ways and methods people do to cope and reduce stress.
These methods include meditations, yoga and even shopping.

To some people, smoking and drinking is also their way of coping with stress.
But is it really effective?

Think about it, why do we need to cope and reduce stress?

It’s for our health and people around us.

But when you smoke or drink, are you improving your health or are you making it worst?
Smoking does not only affect you, but also people around you.

1. Second-hand smoke contains all the same cancer-causing, toxic chemicals that the smoker inhales, but at greater levels.
Tests on tobacco smoke found that side-stream smoke has more tar and other cancer causing chemicals than mainstream smoke.

2. Second-hand smoke contaminants that lurk in household dust and on furniture can expose children to levels that are equivalent to several hours of active smoking.

3. As little as 30 minutes of exposure to second-hand smoke can damage a non-smoker's heart and increases the risk of heart disease by 30%.

4. Several studies have indicated that secondary smoke can cause lung cancer in non-smoking spouses of heavy smokers as well as in non-smokers exposed to smoking in the workplace.

Aren’t all these reasons enough for you not to smoke?

Other than smoking, in fact there are many unhealthy ways that people often misuse as a method to reduce stress.

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run.

Some of these unhealthy ways includes:

1.Smoking
2.Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs
3.Using sleeping pills or tranquilizers to relax
4.Overeating or eating too little
5.Sleeping too much
6.Procrastinating
7.Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities
8.Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems

Learn positive ways to deal with stress

There are many healthy ways to reduce stress or cope with its effects, but they all require change.
You can either change the situation or change your reaction.
When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, accept, or adapt.

Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution to managing it.
No single method works for everyone or every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies.

Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control. =)

That’s all folks for my 4 long post regarding Stress and Management.

Stress and Management (Part 3 of 4)

2008-04-01T10:40:00.008+08:00

Previously we’ve learnt how to avoid unwanted stress.

But there are times where no matter how we try to avoid they just kept coming.
And worst, existing stress is getting bigger and bigger.

This is why, after avoiding unwanted stress, it’s time we reduce the existing ones.

How?

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by making healthy lifestyle choices and taking care of yourself.

If you regularly make time for rest and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come.

Learn to nurture yourself.

To many people, nurturing oneself seems like a luxury.
Especially for people of the older generation, they often believe in work hard, save hard but not enjoy hard.

Why work so hard and earn so much money when you can’t even take a little time out of it to give yourself some enjoyment.

Got your pay?
Buy a little something for yourself, something that you like as a reward for a month of hard work.

Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Remember this, nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

Some might say, ‘I don’t even have time for breaks, let not say nurture myself’.

Nurturing doesn’t require extensive planning or even time management.
There’s so many simple things in life we can do to nurture ourselves.

Some of these things are:

Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule.
You wouldn’t allow other people to disrupt your work would you?
So do not allow any other obligations to disrupt your rest and relaxation time, as this is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.

Spend time with positive people who enhance your life.
As we mentioned regarding environment stress, a strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.

Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
By doing these small little things you like, can really make your day.

Laughter is the best medicine, and you’ll noticed stressful people rarely smile.
Always keep your sense of humour and this includes the ability to laugh at yourself.
The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

A healthy body is equivalent to a healthy mind.
Adopt a healthy lifestyle is also an important step to fighting off stressors.

Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress.
When we exercise, our bodies produce little chemicals called endorphins.
Scientifically speaking, endorphins are polypeptides, which are able to bind to the neuron-receptors in the brain to give relief from pain.

Endorphins are believed to produce four key effects on the body: they relieve pain, they reduce stress, they enhance the immune system and they postpone the aging process.

When you are stressed, it is important to get enough sleep.
Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

Exercisers actually go to sleep faster, are more refreshed when they wake up, and have sharper memories.
Exercise also increases the blood flow to the brain, bringing extra sugar and oxygen, which can help when concentrating.

There are so many benefits of exercise not only to reducing of stress, so keep exercising as you got nothing to lose =)

Eating well is also important.

Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat.

Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
(Remember: breakfast is a very important source of energy to start off a good day, never skip it)

Stress and Management (Part 2 of 4)

2008-03-31T15:43:00.008+08:00

Previously we’ve discussed what’s stress and different types of stress.

As we mention in every one of us there’s actually different types of stress existing.
It’s not about how much stress that’s affecting us, but how we handle these stresses.

In our frenetic, fast-paced world, a lot of us deal with frequent or even constant stress.

Operating on daily red alert comes at the high price of your health, vitality, and peace of mind.

But while it may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level.
The bills aren’t going to stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, your career will always be demanding but in fact you have a lot more control than you might think.

In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.

Here, I’m sharing my personal thoughts and information I’ve found regarding Stress Management =)

Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems.
The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, fun and the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.

As I always believe, work life balance is very important to every one of us.

There’s many tips or tricks regarding stress management, and I’ve categorized it into 4 different types of management or we shall call it strategy.

Strategy 1: Avoid Unnecessary Stress

Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed.
(There are many situations in life where you simply must face it)

But you may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

Learn to say ‘No’:
Know your limits and stick to them.
Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them.
Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.

Avoid people who stress you out:
If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely.

Take control of your environment:
If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off.
If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route.
If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.

Avoid hot-button topics:
If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list.
If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.

Pare down your to-do list:
Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks.
If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the ‘should’ and the ‘must’.
Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.

Strategy 2: Alter the situation

When you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it:
Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem is avoided in the future.
Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

Express your feelings instead of bottling them up:
If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.

Be willing to compromise:
When you ask someone to change his or her behavior, be willing to do the same.
If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.

Be more assertive:
Don’t take a backseat in your own life.
Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them.
If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.

Manage your time better:
Poor time management can cause a lot of stress.
When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused.
But if you plan ahead, you can avoid these stress-inducing pitfalls.

Strategy 3: Accept the things you can’t change

Don’t try to control the uncontrollable:
Many things in life are beyond our control, particularly the behavior of other people.
Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.

Look for the upside:
As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth.
If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.

Share your feelings:
Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist.
Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.

Learn to forgive:
Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes.
Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

Strategy 4: Adapt to the stressor

If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself.
You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

Reframe problems:
Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective.
Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.

Look at the big picture:
Take perspective of the stressful situation.
Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year?
Is it really worth getting upset over?
If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.

Adjust your standards:
Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress.
Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection.
Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with ‘good enough’.

Focus on the positive:
When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts.
This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

Stress and Management (Part 1 of 4)

2008-03-31T14:57:00.005+08:00

Recently there’s more and more news regarding increase of teenager suicide due high level of stress in school.

Stress is your body's way of responding to any kind of demand. It can be caused by both good and bad experiences.

Why do I say both good and bad?

When people feel stressed by something going on around them, their bodies react by releasing chemicals into the blood.
These chemicals give people more energy and strength, which can be a good thing if their stress is caused by physical danger.

But this can also be a bad thing, if their stress is in response to something emotional and there is no outlet for this extra energy and strength.

So, what causes stress?

All animal comes with basic instinct of survival, and human are a kind of animal too incase you don’t know that.
These instincts are called Survival Stress.
It’s a common response to danger to all animals.

Another type of stress is called Internal Stress.
Have you ever caught yourself worrying about things you can do nothing about or worrying for no reason at all?
This is internal stress and it is one of the most important kinds of stress to understand and manage. Internal stress is when people make themselves stressed.
This often happens when we worry about things we can't control or put ourselves in situations we know will cause us stress.
Some people become addicted to the kind of hurried, tense, lifestyle that results from being under stress.
They even look for stressful situations and feel stress about things that aren't stressful.
(Sounds serious isn’t it)

Environment Stress, this is a response to things around you that cause stress, such as noise, crowding, and pressure from work or family.
In another words, peer pressures could be Environment Stress too.

Fatigue and Over work is another stress that’s hard to avoid.
This kind of stress builds up over a long time and can take a hard toll on your body.
It can be caused by working too much or too hard at your job(s), school, or home.
It can also be caused by not knowing how to manage your time well or how to take time out for rest and relaxation.
This can be one of the hardest kinds of stress to avoid because many people feel this is out of their control.

After looking at so many types of stress, it sure does seem like any living things in this world can have stress.

So stop complaining about stresses and get up to work!

It’s very true that every one of us in this modern work is surrounded by different kind of stress.

‘Hey, you won’t understand how much stress I’m in!’
When you find yourself saying this, learn to understand everyone around you are in fact having the same amount of stress as you.

It’s not how much stress we are in that matter.
It’s how we handle these stresses that are important.

I too have been in a lot of stress at my work place.
Tight project schedule or deadline, heavy workload and long working hours with little rest or personal time.

But I’ll never complain about it, as I understand everyone around me is in the same amount of stress level as me.

Do you know when you’re stressed up, you’re part of Environment Stress Pollutant too?

When you’re stressed up during work, by bringing these stress homes, you’re actually giving pressure and stress to your family too.
This is why effective stress management is very important.

Now we understand what's stress and the effect of stress.
In the next few post, I’ll post more information regarding stress management and how can we effectively avoid these unneeded stress.

Forgiveness

2008-03-05T10:07:00.003+08:00

What is forgiveness?

What happens if you don’t forgive?

Have you ever try asking yourself these 2 questions?

Forgiveness is when you are able to look at the person with whom you were so angry, and don’t feel the anger anymore.

Forgiveness is when you can look at the person in the eyes and say something like "So it happened. It’s over."

What if when you look at that person, you are still angry?
Or say something like "I’ll get even with you." and "How could you have done this to me?"
This means you’ve not forgiven yet.

You’re so mad with someone that you can hardly sleep at night.
You’ve been thinking “How could they do this to me!” or “I’ll never forgive them!” whole night.

Why should you forgive them when they did you wrong?

But do you know, if you don’t you’re actually doing yourself wrong.

Commonly, when you’ve not forgiven someone, you are in fact angry with that person.
Unlike forgiveness that involves only you and other party, anger can be harmful not only to you but also everyone around you.
(In another words, if you don’t forgive easily, it may means that you get angry easily)

Especially when anger gets in the way of your functioning or your relationships.
Anger can cause you to lose friends, or even put your job in jeopardy.

Do you know anger also tends to shut down the people who are around the angry person?
Angry people may find their relationship becoming less open because people are afraid to argue back. This can be devastating, and ruin relationships.

There may not be much physical side effect of anger, but there is clear evidence of increased blood pressure, and with increased blood pressure is a propensity towards a stroke.

All these are signs that your anger is getting in your way, and therefore it’s unhealthy.

Now, are you ready to forgive?
If not, are you ready to pay the consequences inside your body?

If a hammer hits a finger, it hurts.
If it gets hit hard enough, the bone breaks.
If it gets hit often enough, the cells die.

And getting angry often works the exact same way.

If you get angry, people around you pay for it.
If you get angry ‘hard’ enough, your life starts to break apart.
If you get angry often enough, your life becomes ‘dead’ when everyone starts to walk out on you.

So stop being angry now and start forgiving.

Get rid of your anger, and nurture your forgiveness.

Watch your health improve and your life change for the better.

Do this in regard to the people you work with, your family, your friends, your acquaintances.
Do this until it becomes automatic.

When you change your world, you change the world =)

Do You Judge?

2008-02-15T14:17:00.002+08:00

Do you find yourself judging people when they do something you don't think are right?

When they act a way that you don't consider to be the best way to act?

When they say something you don't think should be said?

When you see someone walking down the street and they are someone you don't think you'd like to know, what's going through your mind?

Are you judging them?

Sure. We all do that to a certain extent.

Are we feeling happy when we are judging them?

We all know that it's not right to put people down, even if only it’s in our mind.
And we shouldn't be putting them up, either.

To judge means you are making someone better than you or someone worse than you are.
Either way, someone gets put up and put down.

That's not how life should be.

However, it is sometimes difficult not to judge, isn't it?

All our lives we've been taught to think, rightly or wrongly, about what someone else or ourselves are doing.
Always, it seemed, there was a winner and a loser.

But that's not the way life should be.
The fact is you never come out ahead when you put someone down.

‘But it's a habit, what can I do?’

Imagine the scenario where everyone is judging you.
Imagine everyone around you walking with his or her nose in the air.
(Nose in the air, the look of feeling proud)

How would you feel?

Or, someone is in front and admires you so much that he/her just wish he/her were exactly like you.

What would you think of the person after seeing the face full of envy?

Everyone around you hates you.
All their faces show nothing but hatred.

How would you feel?

Do think about it whenever you are about to judge someone, think about everyone in the whole world knew what you are thinking.

Would you think twice before judging someone?

Why not realises what you are doing ahead of time and stop it?

Give that other person a chance.
You just might make some great new friends that way, and wouldn't that be terrific?

Share Your Love Not Grief

2008-02-05T16:29:00.000+08:00

You might not know it, but often people believe in keeping their grief hidden inside.
But the fact is it’s impossible.

What ever you feel inside, will eventually come out.
Come out through frustration, resentment or even anger.

Never try hiding your negative feelings, cause you know you can’t.

When you know your relative has cancer, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind?
‘Is he going to die?’
‘He must be suffering.’
‘His family must be going through a lot of pain and expenses.’

What ever your mind comes out, it’s not good isn’t it?

Do you know we are actually showing these thoughts through our physiology and facial expression?
Unable to keep eye contact, feeling tense, shivering, facial expression of sadness or remorse are all typical thoughts that our body is reflecting.

Is this good or bad?

Imagine, if you’re the patient or family, how would you feel when you see someone behaving like that when you inform them about it?

Do you feel better?
Or
More pain adding on to your current one?
More negative thoughts coming out of your mind?

Isn’t your purpose of visit supposed to comfort the patient and family? Or provide additional support?

There’s just too much bad experience for us to stop behaving like that.
Memories of our loved ones or friend who’ve lost the battle to illness are causing these negative thoughts.

What about those people without such experience? Why are they behaving in such way too?

It’s because there are too many horror stories going around us from those people who went through it.
It’s because of these stories that people are behaving in such way.

Don’t share horror stories.
Don’t share horror experiences.

Stop people, who take prides in sharing such stories, stop them politely.
Change the subject of conversation, or share something good about your experience.
(Even if you have to dig hard to search for it)

People who are used in talking about things that’s bad might not realize it; they are actually causing pain to the others.
Let them understand ‘Isn’t it good to hear good things rather than bad’.

If you keep looking at only the bad things happening to the person, whenever you see that person you just can’t keep a bland face.
You can’t just keep a cheerful face and pretend that things are normal isn’t it?

That’s what happen to a lot of people, their reaction simply display on their faces even if they’re trying hard not to.
This will cause hope to dwindle from the patient, little or more.

Experience the goodness of sharing your love, not grief.
Change your thoughts, stop yourself from feeling the bad =)

You Can Be A Hero Too

2008-01-29T15:25:00.000+08:00

Have you watched the TV series Heroes?

Isn’t it great to have super powers and being able to solve troubles and problems when situation comes up?

Do you know there’s a Hero living in everyone of us?
You do can solve troubles and problems when situation comes up!

Of course, I don’t mean situations like bank robbery or terrorist appearing.

Have you ever been in a meeting where you are all trying to come up with a solution, but no one can?
Everyone is looking at their papers, or gazing into space, shaking their head in puzzlement.
No one knows the answer, everyone is stuck, and they’re pretty sure they’re not going to come up with one any time soon.

Suddenly you stood up, with confidence, and starts to provide a different view to the situation. Different types of solutions and ideas just kept flowing out of you.
Your boss is impressed, you colleagues are thinking ‘He’s the man’ and you’re the Hero who saved this meeting!

It may sound like a dream, but why dream on it when you can actually make it into reality?

Here’s a technique I’ve learn on how to ‘Unstuck’ yourself which I think it might be interesting and useful to share =)

This technique consists of 6 words: ‘Associate’, ‘Combination’, ‘Rearrange’, ‘Adapt’, ‘Substitute’ and ‘Magnify’.

Often we got stuck because our mind is blank. To get yourself Unstuck, you must first clear off this ‘blank’ and get your brain ‘engine’ started.
Look at your problem, what can you ‘Associate’ it with that might help?
People, an item, time, date or an animal.
Let your imagination run wild, main objective is to get your brain working.

Once you sense your brain juice flowing, it’s time to ‘Combine’.
Can you ‘Combine’ with your problem or parts of it so it will change completely?
Taking out different parts of the problem and Combining it with your day to day work issues, do you have a clearer direction or purpose of where you’re going now?

Now take these different parts of the problem and ‘Rearrange’ it into a different manner. Try to see the same old situation from a different point of view and something new might strike off.

‘Adapt’, what can you ‘Adapt’ into your problem or part of it to make it works?
A new system, management or even slogan might make it work better.

‘Substitute’ it back to the same old point of view, does this solution still works?

Lastly, ‘Magnify’ every piece of your problem so you can see it clearer. Looking at it carefully, which part should be more priorities?
You can even run through ‘Associate’, ‘Combination’, ‘Rearrange’, ‘Adapt’ and ‘Substitute’ for these priority parts and find a better solution.

I dare not guarantee that it will work for everybody, but it’s definitely a good way to get your ‘blank’ brain started.

After all, it’s better than these 6 words ‘I don’t know what to do’ isn’t it? =)

Planning Your Funeral

2008-01-23T14:41:00.001+08:00

People are always learning how to live their life successfully.

But no matter how successful you gonna live, it will still comes to an end.

If you’re successful in living your life, what about your death? Should you be successful about it too?

You might think that I’m crazy, ‘Who can be successful when they die’.

Think again, if death is the one last thing you can do in your successful life, why not make this your last opportunity to make your last contribution?

Are you gonna die soon?

No one knows, it’s a difficult question.

But why not get prepared regardless of when that time comes?

I’m sure there are people who think others SHOULD or HAVE TO grieve at their funeral.
People should be sad about their death and remember it for the rest of their lives.
If you feel they must, this article isn’t for you.

Start imaging people coming to your funeral.
They must be pretty upset aren’t they?

What do you think?
Should you do what you can to help them get through this, or should you just let them grieve?

Let’s remember that grieving is an individual process.
Everyone does it differently.
You will, too, when someone dies and leaves you to go to his or her funeral.
You will just have to face your life the next day without them.

Does this seem to be a nice last journey for you?

Why should people suffer at a funeral?

I understand the seriousness of dying and mourning, but are you going to have sad thoughts or good thoughts about it?

I believe good thoughts will help the person’s soul to continue on its journey, and bad thoughts don’t.

Funerals, what’s the real purpose of having one other than just sending the person for his or her last journey?

Especially for those long funerals, would you like your family to mourn over your death for many days?
If really needed, personally I would rather have a long reception with planned socializing.
Why not plan something that encourages togetherness, so people who care for you know they aren’t alone?

We are all going to die and we can take charge of our own funeral if we want to.
We can have our funeral set the pace for our loved ones while still being sensitive to their needs.

I’m not saying a funeral isn’t important, but in fact it’s an important experience because normally people don’t cry their hearts out during the funeral.
They have live their life as usual the next day but with the memory of it carry with them.
It’s not easy.

It is up to the person who has passed away to do what they can ahead of time to make sure their funeral sets the right pace, to make sure the memory doesn’t hurt any more than it has to.

This article may seem purely irrelevant to our lives right now, but since it is death, it isn’t irrelevant till the day come.

'We need to start living our lives as successfully as we know how. We need to direct our deaths as successfully as we know how, so the living can get on with their lives. This is only the beginning of what we can do to help them.'

You’re gonna die anyway!

2008-01-21T14:22:00.000+08:00

"You've gonna die from something sooner or later. May as well be what you eat, so eat what you like." I hear this all the time, especially from the older generations.

Sounds Ironic isn’t it?

Instead of choosing way to live, people are actually choosing their way to die.

Just like some people who smoke, they often have the same type of logic “I’m gonna die from something, I’ll might as well enjoy my journey”

People are actually picking a way to die.

Forgetting the fact that if they didn't eat all that cholesterol-laden food they could add years to their lives.

Forgetting the fact that if they didn't put all that nicotine in their lungs and body they could add even more years to their life.

Forgetting the fact that it's just plain dumb to think about a good way to die.

There’s no good way to die.
There’s only pain and suffering, not only for them but their families too.

I understand, sometimes there’s a lot of work and discipline to give up all these bad habits.

But hard work pays off well and has it’s own rewards.
Most importantly, the reward of spending healthy life with you families, children and even grandchildren.

I’ve seen relative lying sickly on bed for the rest of their life after retirement.
Do you want to end up having sick and weak life to spend with your families? And with no doubt they will either pity you or ignore you.

Sometimes you might hear people saying ‘I don’t feel good’.
What’s next?
Nothing is being done, nothing is being follow up.
“I'll get around to it later.” That’s what they’re thinking.
And they just get sicker and sicker because they are ignoring the signs.

Often you will find Insurance Company or Investment Company advertisement with this slogan ‘Your retirement years depend on what you do right now.’
It maybe just an advertisement, but nothing is truer than this sentence.

Why not start getting control of your life now?

When you’re are worried about your health, why not approach a doctor now?
Get whatever needs to be done fixed, so you can get on with your life without any worries.

Either you take charge of your health right now, or your health will take charge of you in years to come.

Isn’t it easier to accomplish things in life when you have nothing to worry about?
Life is meant to live with a smile and hopes, not tears and troubles.

Choose how you are going to live, not how you are going to die.

If you have friends who chose how to die rather than live, let them understand,
‘Sometimes dying seems to take much longer than living.’

Are You Happy?

2008-01-14T16:24:00.000+08:00

Are you happy?

If you aren’t, why?

Can you figure out why?
There must be a reason for one to be not feeling happy.

Wouldn’t it be good to know the reason of you being unhappy and fix it?

No one would ever live till the age of 80 or 90, looking back in their life and say ‘Oh man, I wish I could be more unhappier’.

No one dislikes the feeling of happy.

Unhappy people lose just everything in life, except getting unhappier.
All these opportunities of getting happy in life, all these opportunities of making you and your loved ones happy are just gonna passed by you.

Do you want to live till the age of 80 looking back in life while realizing that you’ve lost most out of your life?

Young or old, it’s never too late to start changing for a better.
Especially when you realize that when you are happy, you will live longer and be more productive.

Maybe you don’t feel lovable, attractive or rich.
Maybe the life you’re having now isn’t what you’ve really have mind.
No matter what you do, you simply just can’t change it and you’ve given up trying.

But still, wouldn’t you like to be happy?

Give yourself a chance, give happy a chance to form in your life.

Learn to be less judgment for the things or people that we care for.
Learn to accept them the way they are.
Learn to understand that everything in this world is unique in nature.

Often you might read a lot of motivational tips or tricks online.

Do they really work for you?

There’s no tip or trick in feeling happy.
Every one of us is born to be and feel happy.

What’s the point of forcing yourself saying ‘I am so happy’ when you know it won’t really work.

Rather than wasting time on such meaningless motivational tip or trick, why not make full use of the time to do a little something meaningful for yourself?

Here are some things that I find meaningful to do day to day:

1. People often say ‘Laughter is the best medicine’. Whenever you know a good joke, why not share it with your friends or family? Learn to share laughter with people you love and you too will find the sense of happy within you.

2. Learn to express how you feel. Learn to show affection and warmth to the people around you. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Remember that ‘You harvest what you sow’.

3. Working hard creates an enormous sense of satisfaction. Especially when you’ve completed a certain difficult task, giving you the sense of feeling that you are capable to accomplish things.

4. Each individual feels energized, good and warm about oneself after helping another person. Be a practical or financial help to someone or see how you can otherwise contribute to society. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

5. Lastly, and most importantly. Learn to be grateful for things that happened around you in life. Take sometime every day to think about things that is good in life. Take some time to specially thank the cook for preparing you that wonderful dinner, thank the taxi driver or the friend who drove you home safely, thank the dustman for taking away your garbage, thank the mailman for bringing you your mail each day. Learn to understand that not everyone in this world is as fortunate as you are to have so many good things to happen in life.

Often people are so concerned with adding the days to their life that they forgot to add life to their days.

Remember this:
The Past is History.
The Future is a Mystery.
The only Time we have is Now, Just this Moment.

Hope this post will make you feel happier =)

It's Never Too Late For Love

2008-01-05T17:04:00.000+08:00

I want it.
I want to claim a love for myself.
A love that is felt beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I want to be a craving that can’t be satisfied, a thirst that can’t be quenched.
I think I want to live either in a country music song or a movie.
They make it seem like you can just have it, no big deal.
If only we could say "cut – do it again".

I took love for granted.
I thought it came to all of us.
That we naturally grow up, fall in love, and live happily ever after.

As much as I scorn the movie industry or songs on the radio that portray a dream-like world I find myself wishing to have such a mystical experience.

Like how many times is a woman kissed, in real life, with a man caressing her face? Or how many people take time out of their hectic day to stop and appreciate the loved ones in their lives?
And you almost never see couples living their lives as if today were their last.

How often does a man and woman enjoy sharing an intimate experience realizing all the levels of sharing there is to be enjoyed?
Do they see into one another’s soul?
Do they truly communicate on every channel?

I want to propose a thought – what if tomorrow never came?
How many regrets would you have?
Would your list include – waking up in the morning with your loved one but you didn’t say "good morning" and share precious time cuddling.

I can’t think of a better way to start a day.
Nope, you probably jumped up running late for work and were lucky to offer a few grunts as you scurried around the house.

There’s tonight or tomorrow to spend that quality moment with the one I care about – right?
Your list of regrets may include, but not limited to, taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, sewing the button back on his work shirt, carrying out any number of domestic promises.
They are important but I don’t think they’d rank up in the category of regret if tomorrow never comes?

I would regret parting without saying, "I love you".
I would yearn for one more hug, kiss, cuddle, shared laugh, deep conversation.
I would regret if the person I love were to leave this place without knowing that I cherished her and loved her with all my heart.

There is so much uncertainty in this world – does it have to affect our relationships too?
I don’t believe so.

For me, I live as if today could be my last.
I don’t assume I’ll have unlimited days to feel, experience, share all that I want with the ones I care about.

Sometimes hearing and feeling how loved I am can make all the difference in my day.

It hurts, literally, to see people taking for granted what they have.

I wish there were a magic wand I could wave over the world and have everyone stop, reflect, love and be sure to enjoy the many blessings love bestows upon us.
I wish I could say its never too late – but it could be one of these days.

This article is for my Love who's currently overseas.

Just wanted to let her know...

Pain!

2008-01-02T11:18:00.000+08:00

Did you know that the feeling of pain is a result of what you are focusing on?

Although you have pain because you are hurt, but you feel it because you are focusing on it.

Have you ever been cut and didn’t realize it at first?
But when you did realize it, it started to hurt.
Whereas it hadn’t until you realized you were cut.

Once you realize you’ve been cut, what are you focusing on? The cut, right?

Have you ever watched a child hurt themselves, but when they were in the middle of play they didn’t realize it?
When they were done playing and they came in the house, after noticing that there was a big bruise or maybe some blood, they started hurting.

What does that mean?
It means people often needs a visual set of sub modalities before they can feel that particular pain.
The visual set of sub modalities for this case is the painful area.
They 'saw' it, it represented hurt, so they 'felt' the pain.
It's not that people don’t get hurt, but there are times they don’t know they are hurt.

Sub modalities, or what people often call it as the volume control for emotion.

What about non-physical pain?

When you are with someone who's hurt or heart broken, would you automatically divert their attention to get their mind off the pain?
While the person was totally focused on other things, they more or less, forgot about the pain.

This is because they are having a different set of sub modalities and during that point of time.

If sub modalities is the volume control for emotion, what creates emotion?

2 key factor of emotion is what we experience physically and mentally.

Physically as our sense of hear, feel, smell, see, or taste.
(Sense of feel could be actual touching or how you feel physically)

Mentally as our past experiences or memories, good or bad ones.

Now we know more about sub modalities, what's next?

Understanding all these, it's now time to take control of your sub modalities.

Pain usually don't happen for no reason.
It happen to signal that something is wrong.

There's a cut on your hand, the pain is there to signal that something is wrong.
What would you do?
Stop the bleeding, apply medication or bandage it up.

You are doing something to fix the pain.

Sometimes although you know there's something wrong and you correct it, but you still keep feeling the pain.

Why?

The cause of the pain might be what you see than what you feel or know.
In simpler words, something that you see may have much more impact on you than you feel or know.

Recognizing and changing your sub modalities is the main key to control it.

Refuse to feel pain, and change your sub modalities so that you don’t.

If you are in a lot of pain, have someone talk you through it.

If you know someone who suffers and want to work with them on it, lead them to this article.

Pain is a symptom that something is happening within your body.

Recognize the symptom for what it is, do something about it.
Do something about your sub modalities so you don’t have to feel the pain.

Make sure your doctor takes care of your body, while you do everything you can to take care of your pain =)