Astrology a la Carte

2006-08-26T14:13:00.000-07:00

Solar System Remodeling

Pluto's Plight & Planets Plundered

Gee, Auntie Em, I suddenly feel like we're back in Kansas again: no evolution, no Pluto on the Solar System mobile and everything is in simple black and white. (Well, Pluto IS currently in retrograde motion- appearing to be going backwards in its orbit- from here on earth…) Good gravy, we've been hornswaggled! First they said we'd get a nice even dozen, and now they've only decided to deliver 8. Oh, this is a fine mess they've gotten us into! (As a native I have every right to poke fun at Kansas, the state whose motto reads: Ad astra per aspera- "To the stars through difficulties".)
My sister is right: There should be some sort of "grandfather clause" and, definitely, Pluto should sue.

Pluto and the Planetary Revolution

According to the newly declared IAU definition of "planet", we've now taken a step back in time to pre-1930 when there were only 8 known planets in our Solar System. But to that I say so what if he's smaller than all planets to come before him, has a highly eccentric orbit that laps over that of a major planet (Neptune), and is in a very unusual relationship with his largest "moon", Charon? That is not reason enough to kick him out of the planetary lineup!

The original proposal submitted by the IAU special committee at the 26th General Assembly would have expanded our Solar System by three- keeping Pluto, and adding Ceres (currently the largest known asteroid), Charon (Pluto's "Moon"), and UB313 (temporarily dubbed Xena).

Paradigm Shift Paralysis

So what happened? This turn of events bears more the odor of fear of change and political motivation than that of clear scientific reasoning. A chat with a colleague and fellow Astrologer (Yes, I promise I'll get to the Astrology part later, but first we've got to cover the Astronomy part!) yielded some interesting things. One big suprised was to learn that IAU members must be present at the IAU General Assembly closing ceremony (time of the vote) in order to have their votes count. (How many were actually able to make it to Prague this year at all, let alone stay for the closing ceremony? What? No voting by proxy or absentee ballot? Gee, even citizens and shareholders get to do this!) It was becoming evident that the vote results were not necessarily a fair reflection of the opinions of the IAU as a whole.

I don't pretend to understand the entire workings of the IAU and its bylaws, all I can say is it is a strange process that allows a proposal that took a special committee 2 years of careful, thoughtful construction to be completely tossed and at the last minute hastily replaced with something that doesn't even vaguely resemble the original proposal. Especially when this has world- wide consequences. There was no "due process" here. If there is that much dissent, then why not hold off the decision until the next IAU General Assembly (2009) and require the objectors to take the time to formulate a thoughtful counterproposal?

The gist of what I gathered is that a minority specialty group within the field of Astronomy felt left out of the proposal process and committed this coup of cosmic consequence as a last-ditch act of disgruntled desperation to avenge the perceived slight. They knew change was inevitable and, in order to feel some sense of control, a small cluster of individuals imposed a change that was neither natural nor scientifically sound for the times, but based merely upon the matter of being of their own choosing: A Case of Cutting off your outer-most Planet to spite your own Solar System.

TDPFKAP (The Dwarf Planet Formerly Known as Planet)

Eanie-meanie Mini-Me,
A planet you no longer be...!

What in Hades is a Dwarf Planet?

Hades is in fact two things: the Greek name for the Underworld, and the name of its lord (a.k.a. Roman Pluto) as well. Pluto was in charge of several things, but mainly those things you can bank on: taxes, the dead and wealth (hence "plutocrats").

After the strange goings-on at the IAU General Assembly, we are no longer supposed to refer to Pluto as a Planet. Now it is a "Dwarf Planet". That really doesn't mean much of anything, as it is not an officially recognized classification but merely a descriptive phrase for objects that seem very planet-like but are much smaller than all the other planets. Alright-y then.

Pluto also qualifies as a:

Small Solar System Body (SSSB or, as I like to say, 3SB),
Trans-Neptunian Object (TNO) but wait- those must have orbits OUTSIDE of Neptune's and sometimes Pluto slips INSIDE of that orbit!)
Kuiper Belt Object/ Edgeworth-Kuiper Object (KBO or EKO) In some ways like the Asteroid Belt, but this one is situated just beyond the orbit of Neptune (the Asteriod Belt is between Mars & Jupiter). Charon, Quaoar, Sedna and 2003 UB313 ("Xena"), Egg-shaped 2003 EL61 and 2005 FY9 also belong to this group.
and a prototype for a new classification called a Pluton

But wait! There's more…. (Oh, this really is maddening!)

The orange circle is Jupiter's orbit, and the blue one is Neptune's. The speckles circling outside of Neptune's orbit are objects in the Kuiper Belt. (Image coutesy: NASA/ JPL-Caltech)

Dynamic Duo

Charon (named for the Ferryman of the river Styx to the Underworld) is not that much smaller than Pluto, (and is not really a moon. Together, Pluto and Charon form a double planet or binary planet. These two twirl together around a central point of gravity located in between the two bodies. Like a majorette's twirling baton with the center of mass located in her had, only the balls at the ends are very large and the "wand" is invisible. This center of mass is the focal point of the orbit, or path around the Sun. Their dance keeps them locked in an intensely fixed gaze, forever facing one another at very close range, and forever hiding one side from each another- they never see the other's backside.

This couple does have two known moons, recently named in June 2006: Nix (Greek goddess of darkness and the mother of Charon) and Hydra (the many-headed swamp serpent slain by Hercules in his second Labor. One head was impervious to any weapon and the others, when severed would grow back- sometimes 2 in the same spot) that revolve around this distant and icy dynamic duo forming a mini system all its own. For such a small object, Pluto has a lot going on!

The Pluto-Charon duo is not alone, KBO/EKO 1996 WW31 is another binary object in the Kuiper Belt and I suspect more will be spotted in the not too distant future...

Purple Reign: The Prince and the Pluton

I see this as working out much like the whole "Artist Formerly Known as Prince" (or TAFKAP) deal. A mere 5'2" Prince, like Pluto, is of diminutive physical stature; his presence however, is enormous. Prince, the musical artist, started off as an R&B performer in the late 1970's and exploded into to Pop-Rock stardom in the 1982 with his chart topper "1999". After a dispute with his recording label he became TAFKAP (The Artist formerly known as Prince) and used a symbol for his unpronounceable and apparently un-spell-able name. The contract was set up so that the recording company legally owned his name, no matter that it was his birth-name. Prince was creative enough to find a way around this problem- he shed the old name, declared a new identity and conducted business as usual (performing, recording). Fans still knew who he was and what he did and followed. It was brilliant marketing. When the original binding contract expired, he was able to reclaim his name. In true Pluto style, he transformed himself, regenerating from an old form into a new one.

Pluto has a very strong impact in his birth chart with Scorpio Rising (Pluto is associated with Scorpio) and Pluto conjunct the Midheaven. Add to this an 8th House Sun (Gemini) and here is one heavily Plutonian persona. This seems to be reflected in his huge success as an "underground" musician. Due to his wide range of styles, and the fact that most record labels want to pigeonhole their artists, much of his success was built upon popularity in the dance club circuit-- without any promotion by recording contractors. People heard it and they loved it, so they sought out the artist.
I'm not aware if Prince is into astrology or not, but it is interesting that the symbol he (or a graphic artist) came up with looks remarkably like the Pluto glyph used in Astrology (with a touch o' the Scorpio stinger thrown in for good measure). He still sometimes plays a guitar shaped like the symbol. Check it out at www.wikipedia.com (Prince the Musician).

(Click on the chart for a larger view)

Disco Daze

Personally I think that Pluto should be classified as a CDB or a Celestial Disco Ball, because the best images we have to date of the icy orb look like a lovely coppery, mirrored ball. He likes to party, he likes to boogie, he likes the disco life, oh yeah. A discothèque is a perfect lair for the lord of the Underworld- it is dark with a lot of strange things going on and he gets to reign over the whole seething, writhing, moaning lot. Is that pleasure or pain? With Pluto, it could be either one. Peek at the composite picture here: http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap010319.html

Astrology Shrugs

Astrologically speaking, we will still use him in our charts. We will not be shrinking our palette of planets. Astrologers are not so whimsical as to throw him out- we know better. It's taken several decades to figure out his role as it relates to Astrology, and he has become a potent and invaluable part of an Astrological interpretation- transformer, healer and symbol of what lies in the subconscious (individual and, especially, collective). Besides, Scorpio is unlikely to give up its very own ruling planet without a fight. Next time we'll look at some more juicy charts…

On a personal level, the night before the vote I was having some very bizarre dreams- extremely vivid, with details of color, light, sound, touch and smell. There was disorientation and reorientation, with serious time-warping going on. Like a sleepy diver emerging from deep waters, it was very hard to extract myself from that dimension and wake up to this one. Pluto is a very active player in my chart and it seems something of his subconscious truth was seeping through my unconscious mind.

Don't worry about ol' Pluto. As lord of the Underworld, he'll be waiting oh-so-patiently for those impudent, foolish Astronomers…in Hades. (Insert echoing laughter of villainous satisfaction.)

© Copyright 2006, Julia Steffey- all rights reserved.

2006-08-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

Coming Soon-

New Planet Sampler Platter!

Those guys at the IAU are messing with the order of things... doing a little Solar System Remodeling. It's gonna be a whole new enchilada with all kinds of goodies inside!

2005-07-02T01:11:00.000-07:00

July Scopes- Coming Soon!

OH, my sweet little Cancer Crab-Cakes, no need to worry, you're not forgotten (we know YOU never forget!).
Yes, we have entered the time of the Sun Moving through Cancer (June 21- July 22, 2005) when you get to have the big birthday cake n' candles, but your Moon-shaped horoscope is still baking in the cosmic convection oven. (Let's give it another poke with the toothpick...hmmmm, almost ready.)
Hang in there as we all deal with Cancerian Family Holiday stuff: hotdogs, apple pie, Mom, ball-games, watermelon stained t-shirts and sand in our shoes. The Dog Days of Summer will soon hound us with the peak their "cur"sed heat. Remember to take a moment out of the family fray to do what nurtures and sustains you (in a healthy, non-co-dependant, non-habit forming way, of course) and stay tuned for your July 'Scope- coming soon!

2005-06-27T06:01:00.002-07:00

Zodiacal Appeteasers
Sampler Platter
June 2005

Happy Birthday Twinkys! (Gemini)

Life is a carnival, and Twinkys are always looking for fun. There is plenty to be had this year with Jupiter, the big round jolly guy, rolling around in your "house of fun", even bringing in a buddy or sidekick (maybe even your very own "mini me"!) to double your pleasure. Just remember to play fair, or you might end up playing alone! Keep in mind other humanoids have things called "feelings" when you invite them for a spin in your experimental ride: the Quantum Infinity Brain-Bamboozler. Start with the slower settings and see how they take it before throwing it into Maximum Mercurial Mind-Muddle. Keep a bucket handy.

Mid-July money matters make an about-face as grumpy ol' Saturn finishes his 2 1/2 year tour of duty at your Penny Arcade in the Crab Shack (Cancer). You are now an expert at getting by on a shoestring. No more feeling like a dumpy chump/ skinny ninny as the Fun-House mirrors begin to reflect a more favorable self-image, enhanced with newly installed “reality lighting”. A nice change from the "Oh, m'gawd, do I look like THAT?" No, you don’t- your “evil twin” was tweaking the warp-factor on the mirrors from the inside. If you were cocky, you'd have been knocked down a notch or two. A tough teacher, wise and noble Saturn does not tolerate arrogance or insolence. You WILL get the lesson, whether or not it has to hurt is your choice.

Love is in the air...or is that the smell of funnel cakes? Both may call for a good antacid. Extremified come here/ go away flirting tactics could land you some mutant mates this year. Religious fanatics, addicted victims, deep-sea divers, techno-geeks, or slippery-flippered Selkies (you know, the sea-beings of Celtic legend that shape-shift between seal & human form) could feature among the side-show attractions. If you are very lucky some highly spiritually evolved soul will appear to put you in touch with your feelings (yes, you do have them!). Well, at least it will be interesting...

Health is transformed through unconditionally accepting yourself and releasing destructive habits as Ceres, the Great Mother and Goddess of the Harvest swings her sickle, culling the crop of deep-rooted bad seed and aberrant weeds.

Note your speedy little planet Mercury goes Retrograde (Rx) three times from now until your next B-Day. Give yourself extra good care, rest and fruit smoothies with double-shots of wheat grass during these times. Highlight these dates on your calendar:

2005:

Jul. 23- Aug. 15

Nov. 14- Dec. 3

2006:

Mar. 2- Mar. 24

June 24-26, 2005 take a gander upward to the night sky to see Mercury in a three-some with Saturn and Venus.

Lamb Chop (Aries)

Tired, listless, lost in a daydream (or a very large department store) since the end of April? Where is that bloody exit!?! April 30th your rocket splashed down into the mystical waters of Pisces for 6 weeks of deep cleansing and spiritual renewal, closing out a 2 year cycle that began back in December of 2003.

Let the salt-sea of tears go for all that “didn’t”, and be purified. Enjoy the strange creatures you meet while in this deep watery dream world, but keep in mind they are all a part of your own unconscious bringing new insights to where you can be/have been lured onto a baited hook. Stop, wait, and see what happens when someone else takes that tantalizing bait. You’ll get to see beforehand if or where there is a nasty hook. See there are advantages to not being first every time!

June 12th prepare for lift-off as Mars, your fiery red planet, launches out of the languid liquid of emotional Pisces and jettisons back home into action-oriented Aries beginning a brand new 2-year cycle. That long romantic drought is about to end in a cloudburst. In the words of The Weather Girls: It’s Raining Men (or Women), Hallelujah! Sensitive communication is KEY during this cycle. Sharp tongue? Give us a cuddle instead (because that‘s really what you crave)!
Group experiences prove healing, wounding or just plain bizarre. Releasing old control issues gives your true passion wings on which to soar. Fire + Water = Steam. A clean, green fuel for your freshly cleansed, glistening candy-apple red Rocket! Prepare for lift-off. Countdown, T-minus 10, 9, 8...

Steak Tartar (Taurus)

The Bodacious Bovine wants things to be "perfect" which, in your mind, means all your way. Your terrible secret is out- you are a mega control-freak! Now you have this perfect home in your perfect world filled with all the perfect stuff. Sure it looks great and the ol' bod feels real comfy there, but then you notice how lonely you are. Trouble is there's not much room for someone else and their preferences.

You really want a partner, but keep in mind he or she is not just another "accessory" for decorating your home or life. Nor are they a minion to implement your plans of world domination (even if that world is a 1/4 acre plot!). This is a human being with needs, goals and preferences all their own that may or may not match your favorite china pattern or that specific retirement plan you had in mind.

If you truly want a special someone to share your life with, COMPROMISE is the KEY to creating a comfortable inviting space in which to share a life with your sweet baboo. Let your honey move the easy chair a few inches or pick out the music for a change. Try leaving the dishes in the sink overnight (oh, how kinky!) in favor of a little luvin'. Practice this until you no longer freak out when it happens. A small shift the mind creates a bigger space in the heart. Break free of the security blanket of a boring, carved-in-stone routine and see what wonders await you!

Your pocketbook is jam-packed with jumpin' Gemini June bugs this month. So many cute little thing to do and buy. Don't let them scatter your resources to the wind, and don't let your wind scatter your resources! Indulge in a new book of short stories, dual-colored lip gloss or some airy-fairy gossip mags.

Crab Cakes (Cancer)

Oh, darlin’, it’s almost over! Take a hankie and dry your teary sweet moon-eyes, ‘cause that spanking from Disciplinarian Daddy Saturn for all your naughty refusals to take care of yourself and set clear boundaries with others is about to end. Yes, it seems he was mean to you, but it was all done in the name of tough-love. He had to allow things to get so bad that you would finally take the action required for self-preservation. You spend so much time and energy taking care of the world that you forget yourself. Depression set in as you woke up to realize your little boat had drifted onto a sand-bar, leaving you stranded far downstream from your dreams and goals. Stop being a snot-blotter for those that can and should take care of their own boogered-up situations!

Since June of 2003 Saturn has been helping you set boundaries and restructure your life. The heavy, leaded black cloud is about ready to lift. If all is in ORDER (a fave word of Saturn) mid July will bring new sense of lightness and the golden glow of wisdom and renewed self-worth to your door as Venus, goddess of love and beauty, grabs a last dance with old “tin-britches” on the final leg of his sojourn through Cancer. Mercury wants in on the action too, and cuts in for a “quick one”. Mercury + Saturn + Venus = Communicating Enduring, Mature Love & Beauty. Take a look up in the sky for a few nights around June 25th and see them shining in the heavens together.

Acqua al Fresca (Aquarius)

Where did all the money go? You’re upset with yourself for being so gullible. Researching technology to convert Havarti into Swiss Cheese by enlarging the holes sounded like a good cause at the time. I mean the Swiss are so neutral, and well, there’s just no telling what those crazy Danes will do. They did give us Hans Christian Anderson, but then they put all those funny slashes through their O’s.

If your reality feels a bit cheesy or full of holes, try a chunk of group meditation to close those gaps and digest the lactose. For extra-vibrant health this month, ooze down to your local farmers’ market and add some fresh, home-grown veggies to dip into your fondue. Consult Cappie or Virgo the next time you want to invest.

Pesce Primavera (Pisces)

Mars & Uranus recently dropped an electric eel down your jammies, jolting you wide-awake from a much-too-long slumber. Now you’re spittin’ mad. Not so much because of the interrupted sleep, but because you now clearly see where your vast ocean of kindness and compassion has been used and abused. Avoid the trap of saving a drowning victim only to become one yourself. The haunting “Sweet Dreams”, sung by British soul-queen Annie Lennox (Eurhythmics), tells all. Dive into your dusty collection from the 80’s and give this old pearl of wisdom a new listen.

Now don the rubber diver’s suit and gloves and grab that eel by the tail as your own “stun gun” to make it crystal clear that, despite a usually passive appearance, you are not a person to be trifled with. If they try anything fishy, don’t hesitate to give ’em a little zap to show ’em you do mean business.

Animal Crackers

Now don’t get all bent out of shape cuz ya didn’t get a big fat special section on yer own sign this time around. Twinkys have a birthday this month- so it is their turn to wear the funny hat and have the special song. (Oh, c'mon Leo, you know you'd rather have a crown -or diamond tiara- anyway! We're working on that right now- 18K yellow gold, engraved with "HRH" and your name in elegant script.) The other featured folks had some major stuff going on this time around, so they got some extra attention. Never fear, your turn will come!
Secret trick - if you know your Moon Sign or your Rising Sign (Ascendant/ASC), you can read that one too. Example: if you are a Sagittarius or Leo Sun, but have Gemini Rising or Moon, then you could read Gemini and then wonder who has been following you around spying on you. Gemini could be a bad example though, as they often prove contrary. It’s not that they really don’t agree with or believe in what you say, it’s more for the fun of arguing! If you really do have this combination, you probably need to be committed anyway.

Copyright (C) Julia Steffey, 2005. All rights reserved.