Life Through My Eyes

Changing blogs

2006-10-21T22:09:00.000+13:00

Ok, this will probably come as a surprise to you all, but I've changed the blog to something new. You can find it by going here:

http://alanzeyes.blogspot.com

New posts from this moment on are going to be at the new blog until further notice. Please make sure you add it to your RSS reader or bookmarks.

Information on WHY the change has occurred can be found at the new location.

Thank you.

To my soul mate

2006-10-21T15:35:00.000+13:00

I am so glad that you are a part of my life. It is a privilege - to know you, to share myself with you, and to walk together on the paths that take us in so many beautiful directions.

When I am with you, I know that I am in teh presence of someone who makes my life more complete than I ever dreamed it could be. I turn to you for trust, and you give it openly. I look to you for inspiration, for answers, and for encouragement, and you lift my spirits up and take my thoughts to places where my troubles seem much further away and my joys feel like they're going to stay in my life forever.

I hope you'll stay forever, too. You're my soul mate... My world is reassured by you, my tomorrows need to have you near, so many of my smiles depend on you, and my heart is so thankful that you're here.

- D. Pageh

Thank you Deidre. :-)

It has begun...

2006-10-21T11:56:00.000+13:00

Yes, I know it began a long time ago, but since the passing of the Military Commissions Act of 2006 a couple days ago, the Bush administration has been very quick to notify the courts that they no longer have jurisdiction to consider hundreds of Guantanamo Bay cases.

The new law already has been challenged as unconstitutional by lawyers representing the petitioners

I guess someone forgot to tell them that the constitution no longer matters.

Whichever side loses in the upcoming court battles, he said, will then appeal to the Supreme Court.

Why bother? The Supreme Court has already ruled on unlawful actions by the US government, stating that unlawful actions must be approved by Congress. What use is law and the constitution when Bush can get Congress's approval to ignore laws and the constitution as he sees fit?

People don't seem to be getting it. The law and justice has lost, and the Bush administration has won.

What we're going to see from this point on is more and more of the law being pushed aside in favour of what the Bush administration wants. The law will only apply to those who have no power.

Congress allows George Bush to enact martial law

2006-10-20T11:29:00.000+13:00

Welcome to martial law.

Moments ago President Bush signed the Military Commission Act into law, stating “This bill provides legal protections that ensure our military and intelligence personnel will not have to fear lawsuits filed by terrorists simply for doing their jobs.

[The] legality of the system I established was challenged in the court, and the Supreme Court ruled that the military commissions needed to be explicitly authorized by the United States Congress. And so I asked Congress for that authority, and they have provided it.”

If that's not authorising and enabling martial law, I don't know what is.

The Military Commissions Act is not a speculative notion. It is law, already being implemented and now codified.

As an American, your rights have disappeared. You don't even have to be an American either, as there's a lot of the Act that's related to legal and illegal immigrants.

For any reason - or for no reason at all - you can be declared an enemy combatant and you WILL be arrested, taken away, and held indefinitely. No trial, no defence, no hope.

Well done America. You've done a fantastic job of allowing your fears to come true.

More of those silly Republicans

2006-10-07T18:57:00.000+13:00

Senator Mark Foley, while leading a government group responsible for protecting children, was also engaged in assaulting the rights of the same children he was allegedly protecting.

Hypocrite. In a big way.

"At Sacred Heart, I was taught how to be a better citizen because of their focus on discipline and moral values."
- Mark Foley

I guess we all know what those values are now.

"I have said repeatedly that in this country we track library books better than we do sex offenders."
- Mark Foley

Lucky for him, I guess.

"Pointing fingers, trying to catch each other in scandal does not bring honor to this House."
- Mark Foley

Probably trying to make sure no fingers were being pointed at him.

What I find amusing is that in Washington DC it's legal to have sex with a 16 yr old, but it's illegal to talk about sex with under 18's. So you can screw a 16 yr old, you just can't talk about it - that'll get you thrown in jail. (You can read about it here.)

It was learnt that leading members of the Republican party knew about Foley's habits for some years now, but he was protected by those same members who promote good, wholesome family values and morals.

With the Republicans playing the blame game, avoiding responsibility and pointing fingers at someone else, it was obvious they were in trouble.

So Fox News, the bastion of Republican propoganda, was brought in on the act, and suddenly Mark Foley was a Democrat, not a Republican. (Click here for more on that.)

Of course! The truth finally comes out. It's all actuallly the fault of those steenkin' Democrats, posing one of their own as a Republican, bringing shame to the Grand Old Party (GOP).

And then, naturally, there's the continuing saga of how President Bush is above the law.

President Bush this week asserted that he has the executive authority to disobey a new law in which Congress has set minimum qualifications for future heads of the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

Who needs lawmakers and Congress any more, when Bush can declare which laws he wants to obey (only those that suit him) and which laws he wants to overrule.

What is the point of having laws if Bush declares that he has authority to disregard them?

The only valid reason for this is that Bush has declared himself dictator. The legal restrictions of a democratic society obviously don't apply to him any more.

Does anyone notice? Do they care? Apparently not.

As Alan Shore said in one of his episodes (probably a few of them actually):

When the weapons of mass destruction thing turned out to be not true, I expected the American people to rise up. Ha! They didn't.

Then, when the Abu Ghraib torture thing surfaced and it was revealed that our government participated in rendition, a practice where we kidnap people and turn them over to regimes who specialize in torture, I was sure then the American people would be heard from. We stood mute.

Then came the news that we jailed thousands of so-called terrorists suspects, locked them up without the right to a trial or even the right to confront their accusers. Certainly, we would never stand for that. We did.

And now, it's been discovered the executive branch has been conducting massive, illegal, domestic surveillance on its own citizens. You and me. And I at least consoled myself that finally, finally the American people will have had enough. Evidentially, we haven't.

In fact, if the people of this country have spoken, the message is we're okay with it all. Torture, warrantless search and seizure, illegal wiretappings, prison without a fair trial - or any trial, war on false pretenses. We, as a citizenry, are apparently not offended.

You resign yourselves to a fate of your own making. And we, the rest of the world, can only watch on in sadness.

Surprise of a lifetime

2006-10-07T16:55:00.000+13:00

You could probably say that the 'surprise of a lifetime' would be something that would be the biggest thing to surprise you in your entire life. I think that's what's happened to me.

I discovered during the week that I suffer from passive aggression:

People with this disorder resent responsibility and show it through their behaviors rather than by open expression of their feelings. Procrastination, inefficiency, and forgetfulness are behaviors commonly used to avoid doing what they need to do or have been told by others must be done.

A person with this disorder may appear to comply with another's wishes -- may even demonstrate enthusiasm for them -- but the requested action is either performed too late to be helpful, performed in a way that is useless, or otherwise sabotaged to express anger the person cannot relate verbally.

That's me.

You might be wondering what the big deal is. Well, this is why:

Some of the common signs of passive-aggressive personality disorder include:
Procrastination
Intentional inefficiency
Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
Complaining
Blaming others
Resentment
Sullenness
Fear of authority
Resistance to suggestions from others
Unexpressed anger or hostility

All of those signs are within me. And they've been within me all my life, ever since I was a child.

The common theme amongst passive aggressives seems to be that during childhood they were not allowed to express their feelings, and any feelings that they did express were ignored, rejected or resulted in being punished for. As a result, they learnt to fight back in subtle ways, agreeing to do what they were told but then never getting around to it.

His anger grows but he cannot express it so it becomes submerged and is expressed in an unconscious ‘You can't tell me what to do.' He is not allowed to get his way by direct confrontation and competition so he learns to displace his anger through resistance. He learns to use charm, stubbornness, resistance and withdrawal to protect himself in power struggles. He rebels by becoming moody, being an underachiever or developing behavior problems. His self protectiveness and duplicity from the squelched anger and hostility becomes a habit that he plays out with other women he meets. He desperately seeks a woman to meet his needs of being accepted for who he is, but puts her off with small, continual acts of rebellion. He replays the distancing drama of his original family in the relationship.

This is what I've been doing all my life, and which I've only just realised now.

It's naturally had an effect on my relationship with Deidre.

The biggest irritant in being with a passive aggressive man is that he doesn't follow through on his agreements and promises. He dodges responsibility while insisting he's pulling his weight. He procrastinates, takes on big projects but doesn't finish them then feels put upon or hostile if someone else tries to finish it. He often ignores reality as to his irresponsibility and withdrawal. He denies evidence, distorts, minimalizes or lies to make his version of reality seem logical.

What does one do when one learns that everything they've been doing in life has been to sabotage themselves, their partners, and anyone around them that means something to them?

One goes into something resembling shock.

Now I don't know what I want any more, because I can see that what I've wanted in the past has often been to sabotage or to rebel against what someone else wants. Or even against what I want.

How the hell can someone sabotage their own desires, simply because they're rebellig against the expectations of others?

It's bizarre, absolutely bizarre.

I can't trust myself any more. Every time I say I want something, I have to analyse myself to work out why the hell I really want it. Am I saying it to appease someone? Am I saying it to avoid conflict? Am I saying it to make myself look good? Am I saying it because it's what I've always been saying, and has no meaning other than the pattern of past habits?

Passive aggressives - I - try to avoid conflict. We do so by agreeing to things we don't want to do, and then finding some excuse as to why we fail to do it. That could be forgetfulness, procrastination, doing something else instead, making someone else responsible for it (or the failure of it being done), or causing an argument that results in not doing it.

It's about control. I feel I have no control when I feel I have to do things for someone else, and so I take back control - one way or another - by not doing it or creating situations that result in avoiding what needs to be done.

I'm the rebellious teenager that never grew up.

I'm just really, really lucky that I have a partner who is understanding, committed and willing to work on my issues with me, because I've been doing the same with her own issues. And because she loves me.

:-D

So I've been in shock for a few days now, feeling like withdrawing, and simply not doing anything at all, because I don't know the real motivations of why I want to do things any more. I know that a great deal of my agreements to Deidre in the past have been because I want to appease her, or to ensure she stays with me, because fear of loneliness and abandonment are prominent.

These haven't been conscious decisions, but in the process of making these arrangements there has been residual and passive anger as a result of not having any control in my life. I've spent a great deal of time and energy passively blaming her without consciously realising it. Her anger at being blamed for things resulted in me being angry at her for misunderstanding me. It was actually me who was misunderstanding myself, and trying to make her responsible.

It's a pattern of behaviour that I've been following ever since childhood. Underachieving at work, procrastination, inefficiency...

I can say that now I know what the problem is, I can work on fixing it. But the real challenge is that now that I want to fix it, I have to work out what I really mean when I say what I want, whatever it might be.

I told Deidre today that I feel like doing nothing at all, nothing whatsoever, and then to start doing things that I want to do, even though I know it might piss her off. Stop 'caring' about how she's going to feel at what I do. Stop 'caring' about pissing her off, and letting her deal with those issues herself.

In order for me to heal the issues that I'm suffering from, I have to feel safe that the expression of my thoughts and feelings are appreciated, respected and desired. I've always told her that I'm angriest when I feel I'm not being listened to. It's because it reminds me of my childhood, where I wasn't listened to, or my feelings or thoughts were considered to be of no importance.

She has a big job ahead of her. We both do.

The surprise of my life has left me in shock. Now I have to move forward and make a new beginning.

I hope I don't procrastinate about this...

Wedding update

2006-09-28T16:15:00.000+12:00

I know it's been a long time since I've talked about it, but don't worry - it's still happening! Hehehe.

I haven't updated my wedding blog for 3 months, and only just remembered to do this today. You can see the latest update here: http://weddingplans.wordpress.com/
(Bookmark the site or subscribe to the RSS feed if you haven't done so already.)

Enjoy.

Interesting times ahead

2006-09-26T12:54:00.000+12:00

With all the crazy stuff happening in America today, I have a feeling that we're going to see some very interesting, scary and sad times in the near few years.

It's heading more and more towards a 'police state', where the jackbooted actions of the police stomp all over the rights of the people.
The political craziness that's coming to the fore has suggestion of armed conflict between Republicans and Democrats, due to prominent Republican commentators claiming that since Democrats are against the war on terror then they must be for terrorists, and are therefore terrorists themselves. Some are calling for attacks, arrests and even executions of vocal Democrats and anti-war campaigners.
The Republican campaign for the Commander-in-Chief being the only man for the job to fight terrorism is leading to Republicans wanting to vote for the removal of elections and have the President as Dictator-in-Chief.

What's wrong with these people that they want to vote for the removal of all their freedoms? They want to vote on putting a dictator into power?
The US has become one of the most censored countries in the entire world, where any news that has evidence of Bush doing something wrong is simply not shown in US newspapers or on US television.

A case in point was a year or two ago, where evidence arose of Bush and Blair planning the Iraq war before 2003... this was a major scandal and reported all throughout the world. Except in the US.
The latest idiocy to come out of America is their attempt to re-write the Geneva Convention so that they can't be accused of war crimes. Apparently there was a complication to this, as there was a clause in the Constitution that prevented them from changing the Geneva Convention. But there isn't any such clause preventing them from
changing the War Crimes Act.

There's no brushing over of this idiocy - the Bush Administration wants to change the rules so that they can't be accused of War Crimes, and they want it to be retrospective, so that they can't be accused of War Crimes in the past. What is it that Americans don't seem to understand about this. THEY PLAN ON COMMITTING, OR HAVE KNOWINGLY COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!

When you have Republicans calling for the death of Democrats, and the police doing whatever they like with impunity, and idiots wanting to vote for their President to become dictator, and the leadership wanting to change the rules so they can't be accused of war crimes, then you have a situation. A serious situation. And one which can only lead to serious consequences.

The world banded together to act against the totalitarian and fascist actions of Adolf Hitler in the early 1940's.

What will we see in the next few years, I wonder.

What's your talent?

2006-09-24T22:54:00.000+12:00

I was recent talking to someone who considers themselves to be a pagan and a witch. Very interesting person. They asked me at one point what my talent was. At first I was confused, so I asked them for some clarification. They said their own talent was being able to read auras, and they had a sensitivity to other people's energy. I thought about it for a moment, and then I knew what my talent was.

I see people for who they really are. I see the truth behind the facade that they present to the world.

Everyone has a different 'face' that they put on for different people and situations. Most people's faces are there to hide their true selves from those they're interacting with.

I understand the fears and insecurities that people have, and how they're driven to wear the faces that they think protect them. When I'm talking to someone about something meaningful, that grabs my attention, I'm looking past their face and into their soul. Most of them find it unnerving, and I don't blame them. I don't do this all the time, of course. That'd be too draining. I only do it with those I find highly interesting and intriguing, and who I want to understand more than I currently do.

They don't like someone getting too close to them, knowing who they really are. How would you feel if someone could see past your disguise, and see all those things you'd rather no one knew?

However, everyone has a talent of some kind, even if they're not fully aware of what it might be. Even you have a talent. Maybe you have a talent for reading people, for understanding them. Maybe you have a talent for making people laugh, or you can inspire them to do great things. Maybe you have some psychic ability that you use to help others with.

Whatever your talent is, it often has something to do with helping others.

So what's your talent? I'd be interested in knowing.

Update on work

2006-09-16T17:51:00.000+12:00

It turns out that my application for the Solutions Design Specialist role at work was the ONLY application received, even though it was advertised both internally and externally.

Seems like an interesting sign to me... to be the ONLY applicant for a role that I would love to have, and which would be ideal for me.

I'll continue providing updates as more becomes known.

Anniversary of 9/11

2006-09-11T08:30:00.000+12:00

Regardless of my political thoughts on the matter, 9/11 was a tragedy. On this 5th anniversary of the event, I refer back to a post I made at the time (quoted below). As we all remember and send our prayers to all those who were affected one way or another, my own memories return to the day. I'll talk more about it below the quote from the day it happened.

(Please note that for us in New Zealand, it happened on 9/12, as we're about 17 hours ahead of the US. And today, which is 9/11 in NZ, is still only 9/10 in the US. Damn timezones...)

Along with America and the rest of the world, I'm in shock, and have been for the entire day. What a sad and horrifying day this been...

Terrorists have co-ordinated the hijacking of 4 planes and have destroyed the World Trade Centre in New York, along with a plane impacting into the Pentagon. Another plane was possibly aimed at Camp David, but crashed before it reached there. Thousands of people dead.

I've never been as shocked about something as I have been about this. It's like a heavy feeling in my stomach, and I've been in a dazed mood all day.

My condolences and sympathy to the people over there in New York and Washington.

My memory of that day was that there were a lot of people who didn't have perspective. I was working as a helpdesk analyst, and while the TV was going in the background so we could all keep up to date with events, I was taking phone calls from people who had computer or software problems. The common theme of helpdesks is:

"My computer doesn't work! My software has an error! It's urgent! You've got to fix it now!"

But when these people are calling you and talking about how their lives are going to hell because Word crashed on them and they lost an hour's worth of documentation that they were too stupid to save, and they're demanding you get it back for them.... or their computer doesn't work because they're too stupid to to realise they've accidentally nudged the cable out, and instead of wanting to follow your instructions to plug it back in, they demand that you send an engineer around to fix their computer because they need it working urgently....

I had a hard time keeping my cool. As I'm watching people jumping out of the burning WTC buildings and falling hundreds of feet to their deaths, I was disgusted with these idiots who call the helpdesk because they can't handle their own stupid mistakes. Their own petty lives and small brains and self-centred attitudes....

"Get some perspective!" I wanted to scream at them. "People are dying by the thousands in New York, and you're fucking crying about a crashed Word program!"

That's what I wanted to scream at them. But instead, I helped them with their problem, while watching the tragedy on TV... all the while hating these self-centred retards that I was employed to help. People who can't help themselves, and cry to others when they need help. They disgusted me.

That's my memory of today, five years ago.

Solutions Design Specialist

2006-09-07T19:42:00.000+12:00

Working across telecommunications and IT, it will be your responsibility to design and develop ground breaking managed service solutions for a number of large corporate clients.

Does that sound interesting to you? Well, it does to me... I found out today from a colleague that the role is available. They thought I'd be great for it, and wanted me to submit my CV. I did some research, thought about it, and decided that I will. I'll do that tomorrow.

Throw the cards, let them fall where they may, and we'll see what happens as a result.

I love designing solutions and then handing them over to others to make the solution work. I'm good at it too, but I haven't had a chance to throw myself into it. This might be a good opportunity that'll lead me in a new direction.

I'm depressed

2006-09-05T20:27:00.000+12:00

(Something I wrote on 4th November 2004, which I thought I'd repost...)

I'm depressed that George Bush won the US election.

I'm depressed that he won not only the popular vote, but also the electoral vote.

I'm depressed that the people of America, in their stupidity and ignorance, voted for a man who says they'll be safer with him.

I'm depressed that they were safe until he came into power. All the problems of American 'internal security' began with him.

I'm depressed that the Republicans now control the Senate, the House, and the Presidency, because now they don't need to appease the Democracts - they can simply do what they like.

I'm depressed that the past 4 years of lies, manipulation, death and destruction are only going to get worse.

I'm depressed that the majority of Americans have proved to the entire world how stupid they are. (Unfortunately, Bush got all the southern and central states, where all the redneck loonies are. They're the ones who are pro-religious, pro-war, and anti-same sex relationships. They're living in the past, rather than wanting to move into the future.)

I'm depressed that Democracy has died in favour of the stupid who support the loss of their freedom.

This is what right-wing is about - the weak and stupid following the idiots who take away their freedom.

This bullshit about how the world is a dangerous place is fear-mongering. It wasn't dangerous until Bush started making it dangerous. And now it's dangerous only for those who support America.

Terrorism as we know it began many years ago, as a means of combating unwanted American intervention in various countries. The people who resented unjust American influence are the ones who became America's terrorists, but freedom fighters within their country. They fight for the freedom of their country against the oppression of America.

The more America stuck its nose in, the more these people felt they had to fight. If America withdrew, and just let these people deal with their problems themselves, with guidance instead of oppression, then there wouldn't be terrorist actions against Americans.

It's really quite simple, but rednecks and liberals just don't get it.

I'm depressed because we have at least another 4 years of seeing the world become even more dangerous.

A friend of mine recently suggested to me that they don't care what America does, because it doesn't affect them. I asked them how much they pay for their petrol these days. I asked them what considerations do they place on travel these days. I asked them if it really is true that what America does doesn't affect them.

It affects all of us, and it's not positive.

I'm depressed because I see a shitstorm coming, and it's a shitstorm that the right wing 'death beasts', as they like to call themselves (eg. pro death?), support. In their attempt to give control over their lives to idiots like Bush, they support even more reductions in freedom.

We are free only when we can do what we want to do, as long as what we do does not harm ourselves or anyone else.

Their idea of freedom is to live in a small metal box that someone has told them is a good idea, to protect themselves from something that someone has said endangers them, but because they're told that they are free inside this box, they're happy.

They're idiots, and weak. I feel sorry for them, because they live in a world of self-delusion and ignorance.

I'm depressed because the world has become a little darker.

Who really controls America?

2006-09-05T11:26:00.000+12:00

George Carlin knows who...

The wise man

2006-09-02T16:08:00.000+12:00

People climb great mountains and go to great lengths to visit the wise man, so that he can help them with his amazing advice. He either points out to them something they already knew, or tells them that they already know the answer, and they go away marvelling at how wise he is.

The truth of the matter is that the wise man lives a life of common sense and perceptive simplicity, whereas most people live a life of denial, pretending that the truth is something they can ignore, while they get on with a life of illusion, hoping that eventually their lives will get better without them actually doing anything.

Unfortunately, not only are all the answers to our questions already known by people, but they also have to be acted upon by them for those answers to be of value.

What's the point of having the answer if you never use it in your life?

Articles are back to normal

2006-08-30T19:29:00.000+12:00

I decided that I wasn't able to sustain the conversational style of writing I was doing before. Trying to get a point across within a written conversation, while creative and interesting, made the articles far too long. I've gone back to the normal article style of writing, as it's more succinct and to the point. Much better when you're trying to grab someone's attention and they might not have enough time.

Heal yourself first

2006-08-30T18:38:00.000+12:00

If you think that life is a result of your thoughts manifesting into reality in order to help you grow spiritually, then this article is for you.

With your thoughts creating your reality, it's easy for you to think that what you want can be created, which is what the Law of Attraction is all about. You attract to yourself those things which are most on your mind, and thus create them from your mind.

This all happens inadvertently, and works on the principle of 'like attracts like' and, if we go a bit deeper, into the very fabric of reality itself.

We exist as energy in a universe of energy. That's a scientific fact, if you need one. It's indisputable. Everything is connected, and everything has an effect on everything else. As you move around your world, your influence causes a change on it; on the environment, the people around you, the events that you're part of. Everything changes because of you.

On a deeper level, changes occur not just because of your thoughts and your actions, but also your feelings. Have you noticed when you're angry about something, things happen that just make you more angry? When you're having a bad day, more things happen to make it even worse? And when you're having a good day, nothing can go wrong.

This is because your reality is also influenced by your feelings, not just your thoughts.

And your feelings can go pretty deep, along with the reasons for those feelings. There can be so much hurt and anger and sadness inside of you, all of it going back to some past event that you haven't resolved for yourself.

These feelings are part of your reality too! And by being part of your reality inside of you, they're manifest into your reality outside of you too. What is inside, is outside.

Anger, hurt, sadness... Any emotion you have inside of you is going to be manifested in the people around you. Many of the people that come into your life will have the same emotions as you, reflecting back to you what is inside of you.

In fact, you could quite easily work out what kinds of unresolved emotions and issues you have simply by looking at the people around you. They're reflecting you, in all your glory.

The feelings that they bring out in you are feelings that are yours. Not theirs. It's unwise of you to say something like, "I hate them because they do something I would never do!"

All that says is that you hate yourself because you actually do the same thing. What you hate in others is also what you hate in yourself, but you just don't acknowledge it!

And it's because the emotion is unacknowledged that it has to manifest outside of you, to make you aware of it. It needs acknowledgement before it can be healed, and so it needs to make you aware of it.

The funny thing is, the more you refuse to acknowledge that emotion within you, the more you'll see it manifesting in your life.

Here's an example...

I really despise how George Bush does things. I despise how his arrogance and ignorance have created a situation that has affected the entire world, plunging it into knee-jerk reactions based on fear. Not only is the world reflecting Bush's fears back to him, but Bush is reflecting to me my own frustrations with arrogance and ignorance inside of myself.

I don't like being arrogant and ignorant, and yet I see those qualities in me. When I see someone with the same qualities, it makes me very angry about how arrogant and ignorant they are. The problem is, all I'm really seeing are reflections of me!

In order for me to get past my own arrogance and ignorance, I need to become consciously aware of it. I need to acknowledge it. I need to apologise to myself for ignoring that part of me, and tell myself that I love me.

"I'm sorry, I love you."

That's what I need to say. That's what YOU need to say to all those emotions inside of you which are crying out for acknowledgement by manifesting themselves into the world around you.

And here's an interesting little side effect.

When you can heal the problem within you, then the manifesting of it will fade away. When you can heal your unresolved emotional issues, the triggers for those emotional issues will no longer be there.

When I can heal my own arrogance and ignorance, for example, then George Bush will cease to be the cause of such frustration in my life. In fact, George Bush himself will be healed of his own arrogance and ignorance, simply by not needing to manifest it for me any more!

At least, that's the way it'll seem in my reality. And you never know, it just might be the same in your reality.

So in order to heal those people around you, you need to heal yourself first by seeing them as manifestations of your own inner illness.

If someone you know is suffering from something, then it's the manifestation into your reality of something that you're suffering from.

Take cancer, for example. If you are close to someone who has cancer and is dying, you have the opportunity to heal them by recognising that there's something going on inside of you that's eating you up inside. By healing yourself, you have the power to heal others.

Try it, it does work. There are people who already make it work for themselves. You can too.

The new war that can't be won

2006-08-30T08:58:00.000+12:00

A very interesting article. You should read it.

So it turns out that Arabs—or more broadly Muslims—can fight after all.

We may surmise that they now realize that fighting effectively requires that they do so on their own terms rather than mimicking the West. They don’t need and don’t want tanks and fighter-bombers. What many Westerners dismiss as “terrorism,” whether directed against Israelis, Americans, or others in the West, ought to be seen as a panoply of techniques employed to undercut the apparent advantages of high-tech conventional forces. The methods employed do include terrorism—violence targeting civilians for purposes of intimidation—but they also incorporate propaganda, subversion, popular agitation, economic warfare, and hit-and-run attacks on regular forces, either to induce an overreaction or to wear them down. The common theme of those techniques, none of which are new, is this: avoid the enemy’s strengths; exploit enemy vulnerabilities.

Being sick sucks

2006-08-27T22:30:00.000+12:00

Since Wednesday last week, I've been sick as a dog, and have been off work since then. First I came down with flu symptoms, with everything aching, fever, chills... That went away by Thursday night, but that day I got a very sore throat. So sore it was actually painful to swallow, and my face was almost going into contortions with the effort to get food past the throat. Then the coughing started yesterday, around the same time that the soreness started to fade away a bit. I could swallow again without too much of a problem! Yay! But the coughing...

The coughing got worse today, and the painfully sore throat came back again late this afternoon. Along with the earache. By mid evening the earache was excruciating. It was obvious that my throat and sinuses were under a vicious assault by bacterial forces, and I was suffering dearly for it.

Deidre has just been awesome throughout. She's been there, looking after me, providing me with everything I could want and more, and being the nurse and loving partner that someone as sick as me needs right now. It's been so awesome to have someone looking after me who loves me so dearly, that I just can't describe what that means to me. Words aren't enough.

She came into the bedroom tonight and saw me holding my ear, which I was doing because it was so painful. The warmth of my hand seemed to be a little soothing, so she got a hot cloth for me to hold against it instead. That was nice. But then we decided that since things were so bad, and tomorrow I had to go back to work again, that it was time to go to the doctor. I agreed.

I don't like going to doctors unless I'm either disabled (like when I got a collapsed disc 13 years ago, and when my hip was somehow displaced 7 years ago) or having my life threatened by something (like when I got bitten by a white tailed spider about 2 and a half years ago). Those 3 times are the only times I've ever been to a doctor in at least the past 13 years. Anything outside of those conditions are something I've dealt with. Most flu and cold symptoms are over within 2-4 days at the most. This time, after 4 days, it seemed to be getting worse. I acknowledged I needed to go to the doctor.

So we went to an after hours surgery at 9pm. Thankfully no-one else was there, so we got into the doctor's straight away. I explained to him my symptoms over the past 4 days. He stuck a thermometer in my mouth while having a look in my ears and listening to my breathing. Then he had a look in my throat. This is where it got horrible.

I've got a horrible infection in the right ear, with lots of pus there. No wonder the damn thing is so sore and blocked. And then there's a lot of horrible pus stuff on my tonsils, in the back of my throat. I've got tonsilitis, he said.

I've never had tonsilitis before. I know people have that operated on, and get their tonsils removed, but I also know that only happens if they keep coming down with it. This is my first time, and I hope that it's not a repeat occurrence....

So now I'm off work until Thursday. A whole week off. That'd almost be YAY-worthy, but it's not very appealing to be stuck in bed for so long. I've already been here in bed for 4 days, taking it easy, and now I've got another 3 days of it to look forward to. Not.

But oh well, it's good to now have some antibiotic treatment for what I've got, which will hopefully get rid of this thing very soon.

My apologies for not having written so much. I haven't been much in the mood for it. What do you write about when you're stuck in bed feeling horrible? Nothing came to mind. So I played Eve Online instead. Building my corporation in the game, setting up a new website / forum for it, and just generally wasting time playing a game. Well, some people read books or sleep... I play games.

I'm sure I'll be back to normal over the next few days. There's some articles waiting to be written. :-)

No more anonymous users

2006-08-16T11:57:00.000+12:00

Apologies to those that will be inconvenienced by this, but I've had a few abusive comments from anonymous users which I've deleted. As a result, I've decided to cancel the anonymous comment function. Anyone who wants to comment and isn't already a blogger member will have to sign up for a blogger account and use that. Anyone that wants to leave an anonymous and/or abusive comment aren't likely to go to this effort, and will decide not to bother. It's quick and easy, though, and you can use it to log in and comment in future.

Thanks for your understanding.

Geisha's collar

2006-08-15T10:47:00.000+12:00

Last week we took Geisha in to the vet to get speyed. She wasn't happy, as you'd expect! Because she's such a manic kitten, hyperactive in a big way, she even surprised the vet. She'd just woken up from the op and was already trying to run around, even while groggy. We put her in her cat cage to take home and she was chewing at the cage door to try and get out. As a result, the vet suspected we might need a collar to prevent her from licking the surgery wound and removing the stitches. The vet was right.

As of this writing, the collar has come off and she's settled in to the idea of having stitches. It was touch and go for a while though, 'cause she managed to find a way to twist herself around so that she could still tug at the stitches even with the collar! We had to try and squirt her with the spray bottle of water every time she did this, but after a while she just ignored the spray and continued.

The collar had to be removed before it was time, because she was literally scratching holes in her neck to try and get it off. All her fur was gone at the scratch points.

Why did we have to get the craziest kitten in the city?

More on connecting the dots

2006-08-13T16:32:00.000+12:00

"I don't really understand what you meant with that commentary you wrote, where you were talking about the dots." Jake was scratching his head, looking at Alan's blog on the computer screen.

"What don't you understand about it?" Alan asked, putting his drink down.

"You're obviously referring to... what is it, psyops?" Alan nodded, and Jake continued. "So how can there be these psyops when it's obvious that the terrorists were engaging in a plot to down those planes? How do you connect the dots to find evidence of psyops?"

"Well, you need to look at the overall picture of what's going on around the world," Alan replied.

"So what picture are you presenting here? I'm not really seeing it."

"Ok, you know that there's a lot of political backlash around the world with Israel's actions against Lebanon, right?"

"Yeh, heaps."

"Israel doesn't want to stop fighting the Hezbollah, because that would show weakness. They're after a decisive victory. They can't afford to stop, or seek peace. They need to win, there are no other choices. But the rest of the world wants them to stop."

"That's right," Jake said. "Well, everyone except America...."

"Exactly," Alan smiled. "America supports Israel's actions, firstly because Israel is a major US ally, and secondly, the Israeli's are fighting in the 'war on terror'. America has to continue supporting Israel's actions, even against world opinion. So when America's citizens start protesting about Israel's actions and demanding that their government put a stop to it, then they need to be distracted from the Middle East, which eases the pressure on Israel and the demands for the Bush government to do something about it."

"So what you're saying is that all that political crap about Lieberman and Lamont is a distraction?"

"Think about it," Alan said to Jake while nodding his agreement. "There's a major crisis in the Middle East that the American people want resolved, and so the Bush government starts talking about how voting for peace is actually voting in favour of terrorism. As a result, the American people's attention is distracted from the Middle East and more focused on their own internal politics."

"When was wanting peace something that favoured terrorism?" Jake asked, frowning.

"When the Bush administration wants to divert attention from peace," Alan explained. "Not only do they create division within internal politics, they raise the terrorist threat alert as a result of the UK."

"Ok, so how is the UK terrorist threat part of psyops?"

"Well, don't you find it interesting that it happened at the same time as both Blair and Bush are facing challenges to their leadership?"

"Not really," Jake said, disagreeing. "I mean, it's a war after all, and acts of war happen all the time."

"Sure, but this isn't a war about gaining ground, like we've been used to in previous wars. Battles in this war aren't about territory. This is a psychological war, with the objectives being whose ideology is better."

"Ideology?"

"Let's look at it this way," Alan said. "According to Bush, the terrorists want to destroy freedom. That's fighting for an ideology."

"You said 'according to Bush'... you think the terrorists want something different?"

"Sure. The terrorists are fighting for their own freedom from America's oppression."

Jake frowned. "But how is America oppressing the terrorists? That doesn't make any sense."

"America isn't oppressing the terrorists... it's oppressing people of foreign nations through subversive influence, or actual invasions like Iraq, or supporting abusive nations like Israel. The people who are being affected by America's actions believe they're fighting for their freedom. They call themselves freedom fighters, while the oppressors call them terrorists - just like the English in the 1700's called the Americans' fight for independence acts of terrorism."

"So everyone is fighting for freedom then?"

"Well, that's one way of looking at it, but another way is to ask yourself this - if the terrorists are fighting for their freedom from American oppression, then what's America really fighting for?"

Jake thought for a few moments. "Well, if the terrorists are fighting for their freedom because of US influence in their countries, then I guess that means America is fighting to continue that oppression?"

Alan nodded. "When you have a government that's fighting to continue oppressing others, then it needs to engage in psychological warfare to convince its citizens that the fight is a good fight. It needs to convince them that any attempt at peace is an attempt at helping the terrorists win. It's not after peace, it's after continued oppression. It needs to create an environment of fear that forces its citizens to continue supporting war and violence."

"So how to you pick up on psychological operations? How do you know the difference between them and the real thing?"

"Think about the UK terrorist plot," Alan said. "There's no evidence whatsoever about anything real. It's all conjecture." Alan moved over to his computer and brought up the BBC website on it. "Have a look at this," he said, and Jake came over to look.

"Notice the wording? Here, let me point out a few things to you..."

It is thought the plan was to detonate explosive devices...
Police are searching premises...
'He said they were "confident"...
...the plot was thought to have involved a series of waves of simultaneous attacks...
...the alleged plotters had intended "mass murder on an unimaginable scale".
"We are confident that we have disrupted a plan by terrorists to cause untold death and destruction..."
"We believe that the terrorists' aim was to smuggle explosives on to aeroplanes..."
...police sources had told him they had found "interesting items" which were being examined.

"Look at all the words they use that inspire fear and paranoia. That article was 3 days ago. If we look at one from today, we find this..."

Those held are suspected of involvement in a plot to blow up airliners travelling from the UK to the US, possibly using liquid explosives hidden in hand luggage.

"Do you see what I'm seeing?"

"Well... I'm not really sure...." Jake was scratching his head again, and Alan sighed.

"They've got no evidence! All they're doing is talking about suspicions, beliefs, possibilities... and what's this crap about 'interesting item's!" Alan was obviously frustrated. "They're using words that elicit an emotional response - fear."

"Hmmm...." Jake wasn't convinced.

"Look, don't you think that if they found anything substantial, or even had anything to go on, that the wording would be different? Instead of 'interesting items' they'd be talking about the liquid explosives they found. Instead of talking about how the plot was thought to be this, that or the other, they'd actually know what it was? What the hell are they doing arresting people on suspicions? They either arrest them because of knowledge and evidence, or it's all bullshit."

"Oh, so you're saying they arrested people only on suspicion, and that the whole terrorist plot is a fabrication?"

"By jove, I think he gets it," Alan said, sitting back and smiling. "Anything that talks in loose terms that inspire emotional reactions is evidence more of a psyop than anything else. Over the next week, we'll find that there was no actual threat. Half the arrested people will be released, while investigations 'continue' into the remainder of the 'suspicious people'. Eventually all memory will be forgotten of this non-event, but the ongoing effects of it won't. As a result of this non-event, there's increased security, increased loss of freedom, and a greater demand from all those frightened people to have their liberties taken away from them. What better way to create a fascist dictatorship than to have the people so frightened that they actually ask for it?"

"Is that what you think this is?" Jake asked.

"The more these non-events occur, the more the people will demand extra restrictions on their own freedom. It's actually in the terrorists interests, in this war of ideas, not to do anything! If they don't do anything, they win."

"How does that work?" Jake was scratching his head again, confused.

"The people want peace. They want America to withdraw from the areas of conflict and to seek peace. It's in the terrorists interests to encourage the withdrawal of American and allied forces from the areas they're fighting for. So when the people want peace and military withdrawal, that's in alignment with the goals of the terrorists. Why would those terrorists then want to damage their potential victory by engaging in further acts of terrorism? It's only self-defeating."

"But doesn't that mean that the Bush administration is right when they say that supporting peace is supporting the terrorists?"

"You could certainly twist it that way," Alan admitted, "And that's exactly how it's being twisted. But in reality, supporting peace under these circumstances is about ending American occupation and influence in foreign countries. It's about giving those countries the right to determine their own future, and determine their own way of doing things, without such destructive US influence. It's about recognising the rights of all humans, not just American rights to continue oppressing others. You just can't win a war against an idea. All you can do is respect that idea's right to exist and evolve or collapse of its own accord. The more you fight the idea of 'freedom fighting', the more you'll inspire more people to take up the fight for their freedom."

"So if the terrorists are fighting a war of ideas, and that in order to win they have to get the support of the American people, then that would mean engaging in further acts of terrorism is against their interests?" Alan nodded, and Jake continued. "So... are you saying that continued acts of terrorism - or news about possible terrorism - are actually psychological operations by the US military to justify their continued war on terror?"

Alan leant back in his chair and smiled. "You just need to connect the dots..."

Think about the dots

2006-08-11T13:48:00.000+12:00

Do you remember playing 'join the dots' when you were a kid? You got a whole bunch of dots and then drew lines between them, resulting in a picture forming. The dots are all over the place, and don't mean anything - until you connect them.

Here's a few dots for you to consider.

Joe Lieberman, a Democrat Senator who has been a vocal supporter of George Bush and the 'war on terror', lost a Democratic primary election to Ned Lamont, another Democrat. This is a major blow against the Bush Administration, losing a supporter of their policies.
The UK arrests a number of people allegedly involved in a terrorist plot to down some planes.
Lieberman uses the story to attack Ned Lamont, saying that Lamont's goals for ending the war in Iraq would constitute a 'victory' for terrorists.
Terrorist alerts are raised to maximum level in both the UK and the US.

Meanwhile, over in the Middle East where the real shit is hitting the fan, we have these other dots.

Israel has succeeded in cutting off Southern Lebanon from Beirut. All roads and bridges have been made impassable. All travel in and out of southern Lebanon has been cut. All life-supporting infrastructure in and to southern Lebanon has been destroyed. The Israelis can get there, but no one else can. There's nowhere for the Lebanese to go. Attacks are being conducted against them and they can't flee. There's no infrastructure left to preserve life. No electricity, no fuel, no life and rescue services. Thousands are going to die from Israel's tactics.
What news of Gaza? No news. And yet Israeli attacks are still continuing. Napalm and other chemical weapons are being used by the Israelis, weapons that are banned under international law as 'weapons of mass destruction'.
The US continues to support Israel by providing fuel for their jets and ammo for their weapons.

But back in the 'real world' we have heightened terror alerts, which are just awesome in their ability to deflect attention from the Middle East.

The UK is talking about introducing security restrictions to prevent terrorist attacks, bringing them in line with the US Patriot Act. 'In order to preserve our freedom, we have to give it up to protect ourselves'. How is that logical? 'In order to preserve our freedom we have to give up our freedom.' Freedom can only be preserved by continuing to support freedom. All that's being supported is a lack of freedom. For everyone.

Isn't it interesting that there was more of a threat from the IRA over the past 20 or so years, than there has been from these new terrorists. And yet, suddenly, the new war on terror means everyone has to give up their freedom in order to... preserve their freedom?

Blair and Bush are fascists who are leading manipulative events to create such incredible fear in their people that those people will agree to anything to 'protect themselves', including such protection as self-imprisonment through agreeing to such heavy security measures.

Look at the dots, and see for yourselves the manipulation of events that are occurring. Distracting people's attention from the real issues, in order to raise their fear about 'what might happen', is a psyop strategy to increase the power and control of the leaders.

Psychological Operations (PSYOP [US] or PSYOPS [UK, GE, NATO]) are planned operations to convey selected information and indicators to specific foreign and (in certain countries) domestic audiences to influence their emotions, motives, objective reasoning, and ultimately the behavior of governments, organizations, groups, and individuals. Sometimes combined with black operations or false flag tactics, the purpose of psychological operations is to induce or reinforce attitudes and behaviors favorable to the originator's objectives. As such, there must always be sufficient truth to be credible.

This concept has been used by military institutions throughout history, but it is only since the twentieth century that it has been accorded the organizational and professional status it enjoys now.

Don't let yourself be a victim to psyop manipulation. Look for the dots and find the picture that's hidden.

Anndion Lodge, Wanganui

2006-08-09T14:51:00.000+12:00

When we went to Wanganui, we stayed at this very cool backpackers - the Anndion Lodge, run by... Ann and Dion. :-)

They don't make them like they used to, that's for sure. And it's great that they don't! Backpackers used to be almost run-down, with the only available beds being in dormitories, sharing with everyone else. Now, some of them are actually better than hotels, with some awesome features being available, and being able to share it with pleasant company.

We loved it so much, I had to do a bit of a write-up about it. The room was a huge, with a King size bed, cupboards, and a huge ensuite bathroom which could fit two people in the shower, quite easily... ;-)

The lounge room was extensive, split into two sections, with a full entertainment system as well as a pool table. If you put a video or DVD in, you could actually watch it from your bedroom on the tv in there, while anyone in the lounge room could watch TV or the same video/DVD.

As you can see, behind the second part of the lounge room, a hallway stretches away with lots of rooms off it. Our room was off behind another section, the dining room....

And then there was the kitchen, which was just HUUUGE! Everything that you could possibly want, was supplied. Not just the kitchen, but pretty much in every room of the place.

The kitchen had all the kitchen equipment and utensils you could need, along with dishwasher, fridge and freezer. The lounge room had the entertainment system as well as videos and DVDs, while the bedrooms (ours, at least) had full bedding supplied, TV, hairdryer for the ladies, mirrors, and the bathroom/s have showering supplies as well.

If you're after a stay in Wanganui, I recommend you look 'em up. I've linked to their website at the top of this post. :-)

7 August - Wanganui

2006-08-09T14:28:00.000+12:00

I decided to do the photos the 'normal way'. Even though the previous post presented the photos in a way that's 'agreeable', I don't like the fact that viewing the photos actually takes you away from this blog. So I'll continue with how I've been doing them in the past. I'll leave the previous entry there, but show the photos here as normal. :-)

We went for a walk along the river bank...

Then we climbed a 176-step water tower / lookout to see the view of Wanganui and take some photos...

This was the inside of the 176-step tower we climbed up to take the previous photos. Going down was so much easier than going up...

These two photos show part of the main street of Wanganui...

Some snow-covered mountains we saw on our wilderness drive...

A bridge over troubled waters... signs of recent flooding. As we left the place the next day, after torrential rains, I'm sure the water was back up to the top of the debris you can see in the photo...