GroggyPot - The World of Bizarre Beans...

Smarter Planet

2009-08-20T10:46:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since IBM has launched the "Smarter Planet" campaign and we have yet to witness or hear news about its impact to businesses cross industries around the globe, let alone our daily livelihood.

The idea was a simple one but it carries a much deeper meaning and greatest potential as we explore and give it more serious thought around everything that we do and anything that we encounter in our day-to-day life...no matter how old or young you are.

Here's the general outlines:

The world is becoming instrumented. By 2010, there will be a billion transistors per human, each one costing one ten-millionth of a cent.

The world is becoming interconnected. With a trillion networked things—cars, roadways, pipelines, appliances, pharmaceuticals and even livestock—the amount of information created by those interactions grows exponentially.

All things are becoming intelligent. Algorithms and powerful systems can analyze and turn those mountains of data into actual decisions and actions that make the world work better. Smarter.

Welcome to a "Smarter Planet". You are already here...so, start identifying work/tasks that can be done by the computer or equipments today. Tomorrow is definitely going to be a better day!

On The Road Again!

2009-04-29T00:33:00.003+08:00

Supposed to be in Bangkok last Monday (20/4) but travel ban by country security officer at 11th hour. It's been a while since I stopped traveling but seems inevitable as it is quite impossible to not travel and still cover the region. Was quite surprised that I can hang on to not leaving the country for 6 months!

Next stop Jakarta...and it's going to be tough after all these years of living in familiar environment...too comfy for too long. Looking at the bright side it's not at all bad as I can pay visit to old friends and joints in some of the most amazing Asian cities.

May 4 is the day...wish me luck! Hope to come back in one piece...and be ready for next voyage on May 11 - to the land of Jollibee's! Let me know if you are going too...maybe we can have dinner together...

No News is Good News?

2009-02-06T23:03:00.003+08:00

On the contrary, it doesn't mean anything. Most probably life goes on as normal and likely to be a case of over engross in the day-to-day errands and job.

With the global economic slowdown and uncertainty in most peoples livelihood, one have more thoughts than just surfing Net and maintaining their blogs (if they have one). I guess I am one of them...really forgotten all about this digital diary after starting with the new working life at Big Blue.

Was it really that significant or just another lame excuse? We shall see...hopefully my life will go back on track pretty soon.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 2009!

2008-12-24T11:21:00.003+08:00

Wishing You and Family a Merry and Safe Festive Season.

Best for the New Calendar Year 2009 !

This is normally the time for new year's resolutions, thinking of old friends and acquaintances...some still with us but some may have left earlier.

Most of us have different priorities for next year. Analysts have predicted a worst ever year ahead...not trying to blemish your festive mood but this is the fact.

Here are some of the things that you may wish for Christmas:

* Peace on earth
* Keep our jobs
* Family members remain healthy
* Roof not leaking
* Consumer products and petrol prices remain low
* Bad politician stop killing the society
* Zero corruptions (fat hope!)
* No landslides and minimal natural disasters
* Lower crime rate
* and ...

Keep an eye on very good stocks or properties for long term investment!

Eye Bee M

2008-11-13T00:46:00.002+08:00

Nov 12 - Got away with not doing any real work. Good chat with NEO joiner...I am not alone!

Nov 11 - Q4 pressure mounting...boss wants actions...who give a toss!

Nov 10 - Blue Blue and double Blue! Lunch with 2 NEO buddies...highlight of the day...for sure!

Nov 9 - Another McD day in the rain...Madagascar 'Green' Meal...for the Suckers!

Nov 8 - Good first 9 but disappointing 2nd even though repeat West. Luckily playing for love and sunshine. Good catch-up with KO before his flight back to HK. Housewarming invite at Cap Square Residence...Most amazing view of KL at the 36th floor. Extremely good drinks near the pool...surely missing it.

Connecting less and less at the InterNet...the new job starting to take toll.

New job New life

2008-10-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

6th day of October - Just started with the Big Blue...it's boring and refreshing mixed

7th day of October - Sorted with the ThinkPad T43...at least a toy to play with and most improtantly...get Connected!

8th day of October - Met my location manager for the very first time...but only for a brief 15 minutes (maybe less)

9th day of October - Asked to extend my network both internally and externally. Blending into the Blue way of life...cold and arrogant

10th day of October - TGIF...continue to re-establish links with old friends and class mates. Too bad they are already very senior in that organization...no time for small fry like me

11th day of October - A game of golf...won 3 balls at the end...not bad for a lousy week. Raya visit to the neighbor...excellent 'rendang' and 'roti jala'

12th day of October - Quality time with the kids...their favourite joint McD...where else

13th day of October - Blue Monday Blue...say no more

14th day of October - Bored, bored and extra bored. This w3 web pages are driving me nuts. Got the name card...minus the most important mobile phone number...bugger!

15th day of October - First warm feeling as there are actually friendly people around. Not that I am bothered...already used to eating alone and independent.

Hopefully...tomorrow will be a better (and productive) day!

God - According to an 8-year old

2008-09-24T10:23:00.003+08:00

I must confess that I am a free thinker...at least for the past many years...and still am. To me, religion and faith are spiritual and the 'fixation' that people hang on to as a guidance and intimate shelter. Through good times and bad especially during troubled circumstances. Not many people can handle sorrow such as death of loved ones hence faith provides a perfect get-away.

I am relaying the following elucidation about 'God' in the eye of an 8-year old. Enjoy!

=============================================

It was written by an 8-year-old named Danny Dutton, who lives in Chula Vista, CA. He wrote it for his third grade homework assignment, to 'explain God.'

[... and he had such an assignment, in California, and someone published it, I guess miracles do happen ! . ]

EXPLANATION OF GOD:

'One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grownups, just babies I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way he doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.'

'God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times besides bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.'

'God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have.'

'Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista . At least there aren't any who come to our church.'

'Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said OK.'

'His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in
heaven. So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important.'

'You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.'

'You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God! Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway.'

'If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is
good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids.'

'But...you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases. And...that's why I believe in God.'

========================================

Best Employer...Google

2008-09-11T15:43:00.000+08:00

11th day of September - A bloody boring day. Some people still having flashback about 911 and NY World Trade Center. Look ahead...life goes on...

I am counting my remaining days with present employer...exactly 80 working hours. Been sentenced to the cold corner since 1st day of the month. Whole day surfing and chatting online...occasionally insulting my intelligence to answer inquiry calls and casual discussion with peers. I guess that is inevitable since I will be joining a major competitor next. Suits me perfectly as I have no mood and not motivated to work at all. This may be the only time to relax and unwind before new job starts.

Come to think of it, it's been 20 fcuking years since I first started working...I can still recall my very first job only pays RM 350 per month (base) plus commission before a more permanent opportunity as a Programmer at a miserable monthly wage of RM 600. That is not even enough to cover my younger kid's monthly school fees today. Wonder how I can still go out pub hopping, party, and etcetera during those times.

Back to the original intend of this post, I am still waiting for an opportunity to work for a company such as Google after reading the following:

(perhaps no chance in Malaysia after SKMM screw up big time with the clamping down on Internet access to certain website)

This is probably the reason why Google wins the title of 'Best Employer' several years running. Google is said to be the dream job of a lot of people.

We already knew that working for Google had certain advantages, but, believe me, this giant of the search motor takes the welfare of its employees seriously...as shown by this decompression (stress) capsule that is impermeable to sound and light . . .

Moving around: A slide allows quick access from different floors . . . There are also poles available . . . they are similar to the ones used in fire stations .

Food. Employees can eat all they want from a vast choice of food and drinks.

INOVATION: Large boards are available just about everywere because
'ideas don't always come when seated in the office' says one of Googles managers.

Work Station: Each employee has at least two large screens.
There are 4-6 'Zooglers' per office.

LEISURE. Pool tables, video games etc. are available in many areas.

Communication. . . On each floor, there are private cabin areas where employees can attend to personal affairs.

Technical Support: Problem with your computer? No problem. . . Bring it to this area where drinks are available while it is being fixed. . .

Health: Professional masseurs (eusses) available.

REST. . . This room provides massage chairs that you control. . . while you view relaxing aquariums. . . . !!!

Ambiance. . . There are many books in this library . . . even some about programming!!!

Getting ready to join them yet?
------------------------------------------------

We can only pray that one day Google Malaysia will execute its plan to start an operation here at Cyberjaya or Petronas Twin Towers....and lets hope they did not read anything about MCMC blocking the blogs and websites at our Internet space.

Calling Names for Chinese

2008-09-10T11:57:00.001+08:00

Confusing Chinese Names
-----------------------

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!

Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.

Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.

Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).

Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
==========================
This is hilarious ...

Here are some common names:

Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Michael Tan -> Sell Chicken eggs (Cantonese)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)

==========================

Boat Tale

2008-09-09T12:45:00.001+08:00

Joe and John were identical twins.

Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unknown to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly.

When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old neighbor woman mistook him for John and said: "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible." Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said: "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time.I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The darn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle!" The old woman fainted.

===============================
As usual, credit goes to the original author and the people whom have circulated it through the e-mails chain.

Jokes for A Lousy Day

2008-09-05T14:57:00.001+08:00

5th day of September - end of first week of the month.

Weather today - going to be wet and shitty
Politics today - sucks, say no more
Work today - totally fucked and utmost boring
Bursa today - diarrhea with rumour that PM stepping down

I hope you will feel better after reading following jokes:

1. Losing all your friends

Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says "If you behave like this, you
will lose ALL your friends."

2. Brother wanted

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Send me a brother"....
Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"....

3. Meaning of WIFE

Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information
Fighting Everytime'!"
Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!"

4. Importance of a period

Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a
heart attack & our driver ran away."

5. Confident vs. confidential

A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and
confidential?" Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend
over there, is also my son, that's confidential! "

6. Anger management?

Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your
anger?"
Wife: "I clean the toilet."
Husband: "How does that help?"
Wife: "I use your toothbrush ."

7. Married Humour

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

------------------------------
Wife: 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'

------------------------------
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and
the problem disappears..'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be
greater than this one?'

------------------------------
Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

------------------------------
Son: ' Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my
seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU
A FORTUNE!'

------------------------------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

------------------------------
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy
body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

==============================

Credit to the original author(s) and the people whom has circulated this through a series of chained mails. Have a good day!

So Bloody Hilarious!

2008-09-03T12:20:00.000+08:00

This funny letter was extracted from YB Lim Kit Siang's Blog (http://blog.limkitsiang.com/2008/09/02/horror-of-malaysian-education-system/#more-1436)

So damn funny.....

--------------------------------------------------------

Dear Ah Lian

Thanks you for your litter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your litter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to MayNonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok. Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me.

I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye…..

Worm regard,
Ah Beng

Have a Break!

2008-09-02T12:20:00.001+08:00

First working day of September...perhaps start with some jokes (contributed by a long lost online buddy) to at least brighten your day amidst the gloomy sky:

Baby

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: 'That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!'

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!'

The man says: 'You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.

Die Hard Golfer

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: 'Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man. The man then replies: 'Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.'

MIL

A couple are going out for a night on the town. They're all dolled up, ready to go; the lights left on, the dog put out. But just as the taxi arrives and they step out of the house, the dog darts back inside and won't come out. They don't want to leave the dog inside, so the husband goes upstairs to find it, while the wife goes to wait in the taxi.

Not wanting it known that the house will be empty, she explains to the driver that her husband had just gone 'to say good-bye to my mother'.

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' he says. 'Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat-hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the backyard!

She'd better not shit in the vegetable garden again!'. The silence in the cab was deafening.

Leaving and Family Holiday

2008-08-29T15:03:00.000+08:00

18th day of August - Finalize the package. Headhunter jumping with joy. She should be...record year apparently. Happy for her and her one month old foetus.

19th day of August - Surrender the letter, got to go. Give the other company a shot. Timing is good too. Just before my family holiday. Why waste the notice period.

20th day of August - Early start. Journey up the hill...smooth drive, no traffic, kids behaving reasonably well. Lunch break around Simpang Pulai township. Bak Kut Teh so so but price damn cheap. Arrived Tanah Rata apartment around two, unload, greet MIL, FIL, SILs...settling in nicely. Place no change, cooler than KL, dinner nearby...nothing to shout about.

21st day of August - Golf with FIL & SIL. Lost small wager but lunch was free in return. Kids and rest of family seems enjoying themselves. Usual strawberry, cactus, flowers, plantations, park and farms. Steam boat dinner at Brinchang...self brought extra large prawns..yum yum. Pasar malam after that...drizzle cut short the shop time. Good for me...save some dosh for the gasoline.

22nd day of August - Second round of golf on the highland public course. Overall winner, met up with family and pick up the lunch tab. Free and easy afternoon plus some handy repair work. Quality time with my three monkeys. Chaos at 'Tikam Balls' after dinner. As usual, a couple of hours to calm situation down before bedtime.

23rd day of August - No golf (sigh!) as is packing and hit the road home day. Final patronage at Butterfly and Insects Park, feed the tummy as well. Quick last minute flowers and strawberry pit stop before the long journey back. Raining and horrible 6 cars pile up along the way. Arrived peacefully...evening and dead tired.

24th day of August - Lazy day. IKEA lunch and hair cut at Curve. Dinner at Mum's...Olympics Closing...nothing spectacular...another day is ending. Work/School starts next morning.

What a week!

Beijing Welcomes You 北京欢迎你

2008-08-14T14:45:00.000+08:00

So many 'leng cai' (good looking guys) 'leng loi' (good looking girls)...love it!

Jacky's Comedy Show

2008-08-04T16:43:00.004+08:00

Taiwanese actor Jacky Wu (吳宗憲) is famous for his "Guess Guess Guess" and a couple of other hilarious game shows. This one was once very popular back in 2006 & 2007...you will enjoy them even more if you understand Mandarin (and Hokkien).

Music Class - 1

Music Class - 2

Taiwanese School Girl learning Cantonese - Nicholas Tze (霆鋒) laugh until roll on the floor...damn funny

Tiger Show

2008-07-18T14:31:00.001+08:00

Speaking of 'Tiger Show' one (especially the more broad-minded adults) immediately thinks about that erotic dance/performance on stage involving real illicit sexual act and human kind of opposite sex (or sometimes same sex – urgh!).

Note: “Tiger Show” was originally derived from “Thai Girls Show”. Because of some Ah Beng whom is too shy to explain to their wife or girl friend about them sneaking out after dinner in Bangkok/Haatyai to watch these stage performances ingeniously create this new term just to disguise the real erotic presentation.

But to the kids below 10 years of age, ‘Tiger Show’ is often known to be animal (i.e. Tiger) show that occurs every few hours at the zoo or part of the programme at the circus.

And the similarity between the two is actually quite astonishing. Here are some observations:

1. Both requires to buy a ticket or some form of cover charge to be an audience
2. No transcript or dialogue is required as the scene and act are self explanatory
you don’t see people asking the person next to them about what is happening on
stage)
3. They both cause excitements and provoke inquisitiveness (kids – scream, adults
– purr)
4. The ‘actors’ often display the beastly behavior that one would not see in a day-
to-day life
5. Both shows are more interesting at the beginning but got more and more boring
towards the end due to the repetitive act or positions
6. Nobody cares about who’s the actors/actresses, they all look alike and have the
same paraphernalia
7. Both causes people to either “love it” or “hate it” and for some “addicted”
8. Both faces rulers and activist groups ban and scrutiny because of immoral
behavior and alleged bad social malady or asserted animal cruelty

Amazing isn’t it? That goes to show how human being would incline to find excitements continuously by substituting the object at different stages of one’s life. Be it the endangered cannibal wild animals or the mysterious erotic human intimacy.

One Night in Bangkok…you would love this…

And this….extra mild version of the Thai Girl Shows……

Now, goto AirAsia website (www.airasia.com) and book yourself a free flight to Bangkok or Phuket. Don't forget to stay somewhere near the "Tiger Show"!!!

Cool Car Advertisement

2008-07-08T18:50:00.000+08:00

Such a cool TV commercial...simply love it!

Lighten up!

2008-06-24T10:19:00.002+08:00

A dear friend of mine sent this piece to me this morning...thought I would share with you...have a splendid day!

-------------------------------------

* The Indian Student *

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, 'Let's begin by reviewing some American History.

Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:

*'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.*

'Very good!'

Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar.

*'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.*

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'F*ck the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up.

*'General Custer, 1862.'*

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'

Again, Chandrasekhar says,

*'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'*

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,

*'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'*

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little sh!t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice,'

*'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'*

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh sh!t, we're f*cked!'

And Chandrasekhar said quietly,

*'I think it was George Bush, Iraq, 2007.'*

--------------------------------

You may also like this following comedy clips from Russell Peters:

Russell's version of Cantonese and Mandarin...

Oolong Tea

2008-06-18T14:43:00.001+08:00

Instead of sending the following message received from a friend to everyone and being accused of fostering spam messages circulation, I have decided to post it here...all credit goes to the original author (don't ask...because I don't know who).

---------------------------------------------
"OOLONG TEA"

Just think about it when you are free and alone......

Cheers, you have a good day.

OOLONG TEA……

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of Oolong tea…You will never look at a cup of Oolong the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed Oolong tea. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the Oolong out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and Oolong tea," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the Oolong. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The Oolong tea was unique, however. After they were in the boiling water , they had changed the water color and taste.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the Oolong tea? The tea actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the tea, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you; to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to
brighten someone's day with this message!

May we all be OOLONG TEA !
---------------------------------------------

It's up to you whether you are going to forward this to your friends and acquaintances but please don't send it back to me! Have a good day.

Price Hike

2008-06-09T12:33:00.001+08:00

The effect of petrol price increase recently has already showing its immense impact to every walk of life. Unscrupulous business people are using this as an anarchic excuse to promote fear of further melancholy time ahead hence taking the advantage to their own benefit in kind.

I am one of the poor victims that fell into the prey of these business folks as I can’t help but to sacrifice the comfort and spacious of a larger automobile and have decided to change to a much smaller sedan car due to the add-on cost of this gasoline guzzler. And because of worsening world economy sentiments, I do not opt for a private sale (that requires much patient and considerably longer selling time) and went straight to the new car dealer’s appointed trade-in auto re-seller.

Obviously, the second-hand car evaluer took a quick look at the car and examine the engine etcetera, out come a price that is at least 9 – 10 grand less than the market worthy of the same car-year. And even then he is putting a normal pathetic act complaining about the possible longer showroom idle time because of the fact that this car is going to cost more to maintain and use. What bollocks! He is probably laughing inside him and counting the extra thousands that he is going to make selling it to some ready buyer from the plantations or long distance private transporters.

Sigh! Why do I let myself landed in a situation like this? Felt like a piece of meat lying on the chopping board ready to be minced and skewed (screwed!). If not because I was in a rush that day and have to run back to a meeting, I would have turned down the offer and seek a second quote. Thinking back now, I ought to kick myself in the rear for making hasty decision just because of his influential fictitious comments and circumstance.

It’s too late now and all the loan amount and new car prices have been agreed and processed…just keeping my finger crossed that the second hand car price will plunge big time…yeah….screw the conniving reseller…that should teach him a lesson not to exploit on others despondency.

The BMW M5 is now fading rapidly…

Enjoy this clip with Madonna…

Losing Enthrallment

2008-06-03T14:48:00.000+08:00

There are so many things that we have come across in life be it emotional, kindred feelings, hobbies, impulsive fascinations, fanaticism etcetera. There seem very little of these remained eternal with no sign of corrosion. There is always a change of its state from being red hot to mild then cold and some diminished or transformed into another variant of the same kind or representation.

Taking online networking tools and gaming as example, it was such a big hit at the initial stages with tremendous amount of our time (and life) invested into them and no one seem too bothered about what is the actual returns from actually engrossed too much into them. But as the day goes by and the novelty slowly wears off the time spent on these modern days phenomenon will eventually show sign of desertion. Perhaps it’s human nature to be bored with same old activity (just like the children with their toys) and prefers to venture into new adventure trails or maybe it has something to do with the aging process where one begins to look out for something fresh and most importantly … exciting.

I, for one have spent considerable huge amount of my remaining life on online poker sessions (the type that promotes you to different levels as your play money accumulates and achieve certain grading)…day and night every day of the week. And along the way have made friends with so many poker buddies that you will never (ever) in your real life cross path with. Then came one day, you just thought “what the hell am I doing all these for?” And that day for me was yesterday evening when I’ve just realized that the play money accumulated since day one will continue to grow and my ranking will continue to improve to say, PRO*10M, PRO*20M and so on…but what does that mean….NOTHING. I will not get a better appraisal at work the next morning with my big eye bag, nor will I get extra attention from anybody I know. So, why bother … and besides…if I really want to I can always regain the ranking after sharpening the skills from past months.

That said, one thing I must admit – which is the most important part of the whole equation, was the desire to chat with all the buddies while playing the online games. Catching up with day-to-day events and happenings, getting to know them better and really like finding the common subjects to talk about, debate, share opinion with …you get the drift. The online sessions were merely a lame excuse to be associated with but the real motive was really just to be linked and chat.

Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis

So, I have chosen a high stake table and bet all my play money on a couple of hands and bring my kitty down to a big fat ZERO. What a great relief! No more play money hence no more urge to continue to climb up the ranking ladder. Free at last!

Now, I can look ahead a bright and shiny day exploring new untapped universe.

Grace Kelly – Mika

Home Alone

2008-05-28T10:37:00.006+08:00

A while ago there was a movie called "Home Alone" (1990) and subsequently followed by its sequel "Home Alone 2" (1992) acted by Macaulay Culkin. I thought it was just pure entertaining and the story line was built around the creativity and ingenuity of this little kid occupying his time after being left alone at home due to circumstances.

Relating to it is our real life home alone experience where you are either left with an empty house or apartment/condominium when the rest of the family members went on a holiday trip or when you have pissed off your wife big time that she has brought the kid(s) and maid(s) back to the in-laws.

All of a sudden you felt so vulnerable to fictitious threats and began to be more paranoid about every little thing or sound especially in the middle of a quiet night. Double locked the doors and arm the house alarm etcetera that you will never ever practice in a normal day abruptly took priority including earlier bedtime as though the day would end quicker.

On a flip side of the same coin home alone means becoming a bachelor again…totally single totally carefree…apart from watering the pot plants or feed the fish/dog so that they will not die of thirst or hunger. The phone numbers of old buddies, party goers and pub hopping pals would be the top 10 most frequently dialed numbers for the entire duration.

Catching up with dinner mates followed by karaoke, drinks…wow! This is getting way too exciting! Just can’t wait until the end of office hour…and it’s Party! Party! Party! all over again. Life is THAT good when you are young and single…and not forgetting about going through the pile of XXXX movies that you are not able to watch with kids around the house. You get the drift…

While you are a bachelor again, you can try this…

This one is funny home alone cartoon clip dub in punjabi…

And finally, organize bachelor parties...

The following clip was classified as 18SX and deem NOT SUITABLE for minors...enjoy!

Islands In The Sun

2008-05-22T17:40:00.002+08:00

I have always loved the beach and the sea...simply because it reminds me of the time when I can fully relax, completely stress-free and do absolutely nothing (apart from some moderate bed time adult activities). And to have the one you love with you would no doubt double the joy (not forgetting the romance) in paradise...

As you grew older, family expanded and going to a beach resort with the whole gang and you will suddenly found yourself stressed over what to do, what to eat and how to keep the kid(s) occupied and safe during the entire duration on the very same beautiful and romantic island resort….and by the way, you can forget about any form of adult activities with your missus. Not unless you kept it very very quiet and dare to take the risk of a younger child standing next to your bed with a bamboozled look and ask “What are you doing on top on Mommy, Dad?”

You can laugh about it but in reality that is how life’s taking a 360 degree change from being young, free and easy to mature, responsible and committed with next generation of you.

So, what’s left would be a bunch of memories….you can only dream about and wish you can turn back the clock but you know that will not happen…Farewell Island Resorts…

Guffaw of The Day

2008-05-21T17:20:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wondered why there are so many male ballet dancers? If you see the following video clip (I think it's the second in the sequence) you will find the answer...and at the same time, you may wish to re-consider your wife's decision to send your daughter to ballet classes.

Do you believe in "practice make perfect"? Not always the case though if you see the following clip where the guy rehearsed a couple of times trying to jump over a table and chair but failed when he actually performs it...not being a sadist but this is damn funny...

I wonder if IKEA would consider placing a 'water' bed like this and let the customer to try it out...

And finally, imagine your kids doing all these...