Appalachistan

Of American History

2009-09-03T20:43:00.002-04:00

Junior (watching History Channel): "Y'know Daddy, in Silver War they used Gatlin guns."
Me: "In what war?"
Junior: "In Silver War. You know, when Whites fought Blacks like five hundred years ago."
Me: "Oh, the Civil War."
Junior: "Yeah, Silver War. That's what I just said. And they had moose loader shotguns, too."
Me: "Muzzle-loaded rifles, you mean?"
Junior (rolls eyes): "AND shotguns." (thinks.) "Except the Indians."

Of The Jedi and Emancipation

2009-06-29T19:40:00.003-04:00

Junior (watching Star Wars Ep 1): "Daddy, d'know Anakin was a slave?"
Me: "What do you think a slave is?"
Junior: "A person who works for someone else."
Me: "Am I a slave? I work for someone else."
Junior: "Nah, it's when you do gardening and stuff."

The Kallenberg Case - Smackdown on KCBE

2009-06-28T21:28:00.004-04:00

In the sordid Kimberley Kallenberg defamation case, U.S. District Judge Leon Jordan lays a smack-down on Knox County Schools. Judge Leon states, citing case law, that both KCS and individual defendant Russ Oaks's response to Kallenberg's arguments "simply fails the straight face test" and calls the defendants' responses "ineffective", "disingenious" and "inadequate", all of which are apparently legalese of "yer full of shit". Now that Knox County Board of Education has turned its lawyers to its witnesses and is engaged in pointless legal floundering, one cannot but ask: When is Knox County Schools Superintendent Jim McIntyre grow a pair and end this trainwreck, fire the instigators and settle the case with due dignity?

The Kallenberg Case - Bombshell Documents

2009-06-28T18:54:00.010-04:00

Holy Moley. The truth is finally getting out. This case has stunk to high heavens, and now Knox County Schools is in deep do-do for hiding crucial documents. These uncovered documents prove that school system officials knew that accusations against Kimberly Kallenberg were untrue and attempted to discredit Kimberly Kallenberg her through a vicious email campaign.

According to a memo belatedly released by Knox County Schools, the school system attorney had credible information from the get-go that there was an "insider consipracy at Powell High to get rid of Kimberly Kallenberg", and that the ex-principal at Powell High, Diane Psihogios, was intimitated by the school system.

Yet, at the eve of the trial, scheduled for July 7th, Knox County Schools is engaged in full-on legal shenanigans, flipping Knox County Law Director's Office attorneys to defense witnesses, releasing oodles of critical documentation thus far having been covered by client-attorney privilege. Attorney Greg Isaacs claims that KCS was wrongly withholding documents that would have proved Kimberly Kallenberg's innocence and the school system's misconduct, including sworn statements from Powell High staff proving that grade tampering allegations against Kallenberg were patently false. Isaacs is going to have a field day with these stooges.

Kallenberg was ousted from her position as a Vice Principal at Powell High School after allegations of sexual misconduct and grade tampering -- both of which were never proven. As expensive as this will be to Knox County taxpayers, justice will prevail, and hopefully heads will roll.

2009-03-31T21:24:00.002-04:00

Mostly on Twitter, sometimes here (32 characters).

March Madness

2009-03-29T18:58:00.002-04:00

In our house, "March Madness" does not stand for NCAA basketball. My son is bi-polar, and ever since he was four years old, he has had a major manic episode in March. It's like a flick of a switch. This year his episode started with a new tick, he started stuttering, very pronouncedly, the ends of words: "Starses-es-s-s"."Horseses-es-s-s". "Pick-ick-k-k". "Please-s-s-s-s". Then, overnight, his behavior at school went from exemplary to a series of meltdowns and space cadetry.

When he's manic, he talks endlessly. He just won't shut up, from the time he gets up to when he finally conks out. He barks, howls, yodels and sings to himself. He treats us with hour long monologues about clowns and Clone Troopers. He's unable to stay still; he twirls, twitches, bunny hops and bounces around. He mimics everything he sees, from commercials on the TV to strangers in the store. He makes the funniest impression of the "Shamwow Guy". He's a live action Looney Tunes character. He's having a jolly good time in his little manic universe, completely oblivious of the world around him. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad.

This morning he was in his room making groaning and gurgling noises. I asked what he was doing and he said he was "pretending to kill himself". I asked why and he said, in a matter of fact manner, "I was just wondering what it's like to die". I don't think he's suicidal as in depressed and wanting to end his life, but there's no telling what's going on in his head. He's maxed out on the dosage of his current medication, and the next step would be to upgrade to grown up level "zombie" meds. Maybe we'll ride through a few more years of March Madness.

The Big Easy and Biloxi

2009-03-18T20:45:00.005-04:00

Did a vacation tour at the Gulf Coast with wife.

Delta Airlines deserves to die, and Atlanta Hellsfield "airport" should be razed to ground. I never knew until now how many different ways it's possible for an airline to fuck up a two-leg domestic flight. When three planefuls of people standing in line at the lost luggage claim counter swearing up and down that it's their last ever flight on Delta, it can't be good for the future prospects of the airline. Then again, there are probably plenty of taxpayer bailouts in store for domestic carriers.

New Orleans is a fabulous place. The signs of destruction left by Katrina are still there, a patchwork of deserted buildings and empty lots between brand new construction -- but the city is alive. Bourbon Street at night is an experience everybody should have at least once in their life. Thousands upon thousands of people in various states of intoxication, all having fun, no fights, no violence, just one grand party. We got trashed, we got beads, we fell in love with the Big Easy.

We sampled some Cajun cooking at the gigantic River Walk Mall before heading east towards Missisippi. The Mississippi Coast is one giant beach stretching from Bay St. Louis to Biloxi and beyond. Highway 90 along the coast is a scenic alternative to a dreary interstate drive through the swamps. The Gulfport-Biloxi area took the brunt of Katrina, and the scars left by the hurricane are still evident. Not a single pier is left standing, and bare foundations are all that's left on many houses at the ocean front. For some odd reason, there's a Waffle House every two miles along Highway 90.

Biloxi is the casino capital of the Missisippi Gulf Coast. We stayed at Beau Rivage. The hotel was quite nice, and not nearly as gaudy as I had anticipated. Our room was spacious and had a gorgeous view of the ocean. The casino at "the Beau" was pretty much on par with its Las Vegas counterparts. The slots were nothing but high-priced arcade machines; we spent about two hours and lost about $30. Drinks were free if you managed to corner a server and wait 20 minutes for service.

The Biloxi Hard Rock Casino is next door to Beau Rivage. If you've seen one Hard Rock Cafe, you've seen all -- the clientele at the Biloxi one was decidedly younger than at the Beau. The casino was more enjoyable than the Beau though; there was less cigarette smoke and drinks were served everywhere and with no waiting. We pretty much broke even after an evening of playing nickel slots.

We got rained out every day of our trip so we didn't do much sightseeing. However, Biloxi is more of a location to chill out and relax. For touristy activity New Orleans is a lot better place. We're definitely planning on going back -- the next time we'll drive though, Delta is not getting another penny from us!

Armed With Reason

2009-03-11T20:51:00.006-04:00

I purchased my first firearm, a Mossberg 500 20 gauge shotgun, a few years ago after my house was broken into. I test-fired the shotgun and put it in the bedroom closet, where it remained untouched thereafter. Last year I found myself in a situation where I had to prepare to protect my family and myself against an act of violence. Although I'm a profoundly non-violent individual, the welfare of my family trumped any qualms I had against firearms.

I decided that I needed to be able to carry a handgun with me in certain situations, and being afforded such an option by law, I sought to acquire a Tennessee handgun carry permit. I equally endeavored to be a trained and an educated gun owner. I took a voluntary handgun training class, and the requisite handgun carry permit class. To my surprise, I found recreational target shooting to be an enjoyable, even addictive pastime. I bought a handgun to carry, then another for home protection, and another to target shoot with, and so on, until I ended up with a collection of guns in a variety of calibers.

As a handgun owner, I've become acutely aware of the misconceptions, prejudices and double standards our society has against citizens going armed. I consider myself politically moderate, leaning towards liberal in many issues, but I cannot for the life of me comprehend the irrational attitude against lawful gun ownership exhibited by mainstream liberals. The same people who clamor for woman's right to abort rail against woman's choice to carry a firearm to protect herself against those who would rape and kill her. You either believe in individual liberties or not, exceptions are nothing but hypocracy.

As a parent, I've taken precautions with my children. My guns are stored unloaded and equipped with a trigger lock when not being carried, and my kids are trained to handle firearms. Their curiosity has been satisfied; my son knows that if he wants to see or hold Daddy's gun all he needs to do is ask, there's no need for him to sneak and play with a weapon by himself. We also rehearse firearm safety rules regularly so that if either of them would come across a firearm, they would know how to (and how not to) act.

Now, anti-gun zealots will inevitably bring up kids being killed in accidental shootings and gun crime, eager to extrapolate actions of few deviants to an entire class of people. But if misapplication of a device was the standard of prohibiting ownership of items, drunken driving would be reason enough to forbid private car ownership, and accidental electrocutions would be the reason to outlaw hair-dryers. It's a fallacy, based on liberal altruistic conception that "guns" are the threat, not individual behavior. As to ownership of so called "assault weapons", why not? People don't need Hummers for family transportation, but no-one (well except maybe the Sierra Club) is seriously wanting to ban big SUVs. Hell, you don't need a computer or a MP3 player to make a phone call, either, but it'll be a cold day in hell before folks will give up their iPhones.

If one wishes to commit a vehicular homicide, one has to steer a vehicle towards the intended victim, press the accelerator until sufficient speed has been obtained and stay on the course until the vehicle collides with the victim. If one desires to use a handgun to take someone's life, one has to chamber a round, aim the barrel at the target, pull the trigger and keep firing until the victim expires. A modern semi-automatic handgun will not go off unless a person deliberately pulls the trigger. You can use a M1911 for light carpentry, but unless the booger hook squeezes the bang switch, there will be no bullets coming from the bang hole. The finger that pulls the trigger is invariably attached to a living, breathing person. It is sheer lunacy to attribute actions of a rational being to an inanimate object.

Nonetheless, I don't expect to be able to carry reasoned discourse about firearms with anti-gunners any more than I anticipate being able to discuss gay marriage with bible-thumpers. But when it comes to 2nd Amendment rights I'm with late Charlton Heston: They can get my guns when they pry them my cold, dead hands.

Teenager

2009-03-06T22:08:00.000-05:00

We've got one now. Only three years of talking back and rolling eyes until she turns into a designated driver. Yay!

Look Momma, No Brains

2009-03-06T15:01:00.003-05:00

I always thought of Zach Wamp as a blithering idiot back when I was his constituent. I've not been able to find any redeeming qualities in him or in his actions, but apparently he's bringing in enough pork to get elected over and over again (after he swore up'n'down that he would not seek re-election). Luckily, Wamp has been so far unable to formulate an original idea of his own (as opposed to blindly repeating the partisan mantra-du-jour). However, since Wamp started entertaining delusions of grandeur by making a run for the governor, I suppose he's started to feel the need to actually prove he's more than a GOP sock puppet. Alas, his initial attempt for fame seems to have ended with his foot in his mouth. A worthy successor to the G.W. Bush legacy, for sure.

The Last CSR Please Turn The Lights Off

2009-02-13T10:29:00.003-05:00

President Obama gave a passionate speech in his inauguration about us having to change our attitudes and pitching in to save America. I haven't seen much change -- at least not for the better. It seems most businesses are running on a skeleton crew these days. It used to be that you would get good service in most places, but with personnel pared down in all businesses, it takes longer to get service and staff is too busy to assist you. It didn't used to take me 30 minutes to check out in a grocery store, or have to wait two weeks to get an appointment for car service. The frustration level of employees is high, too, both because of unbearable workload and the fear of being laid off. I'm starting to see the Soviet Russian "nye rabota" (not working, on a break, "I don't give a damn") attitude in more and more places. This is sad, because it's not what America is about. Have we become so spoiled and disenfranchised that we, as a nation, will just roll over and give up?

Where Are Wal-Mart Greeters?

2009-02-10T16:15:00.001-05:00

Is it just a local thing, or have greeters disappeared from Wal-Marts? There used to be an old gentleman or lady at the door of every Wallyworld handing out buggies, but in my recent visits, there has been no-one even checking the receipts... sign of times?

Grumpy

2009-02-09T21:55:00.001-05:00

I hate "spring-like" weather. If you dress up in the morning warm enough to not freeze your nuts off, you'll sweat like a pig come afternoon.

Congrats Steelers

2009-02-01T22:23:00.002-05:00

...Since neither the Patriots nor the Titans were in the running.

TARP And Feathers

2009-02-01T20:57:00.005-05:00

First rule of failure mitigation: When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging. Layoffs in the tech sector increased by 75% in 2008. Meanwhile, mofos responsible for the banking meltdown sought to bring in foreign H-1B workers as they were laying off American ones. Associated Press has found out that

The dozen banks now receiving the biggest rescue packages, totaling more than $150 billion, requested visas for more than 21,800 foreign workers over the past six years for positions that included senior vice presidents, corporate lawyers, junior investment analysts and human resources specialists. The average annual salary for those jobs was $90,721, nearly twice the median income for all American households.

Asshats in the the American Bankers Association said as recently as year ago that demand exceeded the pool of qualified workers in areas like sales, lending and bank administration. "Demand" as in need to turn in exorbitant profits and not ask too many questions.

Kids Are Alright

2009-01-30T21:46:00.002-05:00

Oftentimes I think our kids will bring about a lot better world than us Gen-Xers have created: A cop and his buddy get to stay together, thanks to Anderson County HS teens with good hearts.

Redlight Tax

2009-01-30T14:45:00.003-05:00

Redlight cameras have been popping up in the Knoxville area like mushrooms in dung. My personal observation is that the cameras serve as nothing but a revenue generator and an illegal tax on motorists. And whaddya know... In Denver, they've discovered shenanigans with their Redflex systems. Among other things, "The raw data that is available lends credence to standard traffic engineering practice outside of Denver that increasing yellow-light timing reduces red-light running". How's them statistics?

Close Your Eyes And Pretend They're Not There

2009-01-30T08:05:00.004-05:00

You can look the other way but the scenery won't change. If a free man or a woman is willing to make something of themselves, would we not give them a chance?

Doomsday Scenario

2009-01-28T20:30:00.002-05:00

Lesson every American needs to know.

Flipping the Bailout Finger

2009-01-26T19:15:00.001-05:00

Remind me again why are we keeping these bastards afloat?

Instant Geekification

2009-01-25T14:12:00.002-05:00

I just finished our first game of Dungeons & Dragons with my kids and had an absolute blast. They've been corrupted! Muhahahaha!!! Even my ADHD son was able to stay focused -- he grasped the concept of dice rolls and ACs and hitpoints instantly. He's actually got quite a head for numbers and calculations. It was nice to see the kids actually working as a team instead of bickering, too.

Life's Been Good To Them So Far

2009-01-21T09:11:00.005-05:00

Went to see The Eagles at Thompson-Boling arena. The last time I saw them live was six years ago on the "Hell Freezes Over" tour, and on all accounts, it could've been yesterday -- years have not been kind to Joe Walsh's visage, but his fingers are as nimble as ever. I'm hoping to go to see The Eagles again in another six years!

Big O

2009-01-20T12:28:00.002-05:00

Meet the new boss, definitely not the old boss. Done hid my guns, now waiting to see if Big O can put his money where his mouth is. I'll chip in.

-9 C

2009-01-16T13:24:00.004-05:00

Dog #1 loves cold weather. When taken outside he starts sniffing the air and then wanders off around the trees, examining frozen dookie pellets, trying to find his "never-before-pooped-on" spot. Dog #2 is a prissy. He zooms out, squats down to squirt, poopies on the fly and beelines back towards the house. This yields quite a spectacle wherein yours truly, dressed to the occasion, is stretched between dogs #1 and #2 like a crucified Michelin Man.

Return to Appalachistan

2009-01-15T10:18:00.001-05:00

Because I was asked to.