Scrivener's palsy

The jig is up

2009-04-14T08:22:00.002+01:00

Wow. My little googlepage just got linked by John August, so there goes what little anonymity I had left. I may be getting some take down notices over the next few days, so enjoy while you can!

Don’t forget, lots of recent pilots are available, including:

Castle
Cupid
Dollhouse (the scrapped pilot)
Harpers Island

A great ending - so say we all. Well, some of us.

2009-03-23T18:35:00.002Z

The big controversy this weekend: not how Tottenham beat Chelsea, but the end of one of TV's greatest ever space operas.

SPOILERS. OH YES.

The internet backlash to the finale of Battlestar Galactica has been enormous, way more than The Sopranos' cut to black, and I will admit to being pummelled into a deathly tedium by the apparently neverending parade of Act Breaks throughout the last forty minutes. Every time I thought the story was good and finished, we faded up on yet more billowing grassland.

However, this is not what has incensed most of the finale's detractors. There are two sore sticking points - the "god did it" explanation, and the decision of the rag-tag fleet to abandon their aimless exodus and settle on "our" Earth sans technology.

I have no problem with either.

God has been a major part of the show since the mini-series. As sci-fi fans we may have wanted a rational explanation for God and God's plan but, actually, there was none. Could be none. It was God's plan, not for us to understand, and in the end these people experienced their fates as he planned them, with no recourse to appeal. Which is very bleak and depressing, but hey, that's BSG.

The show lays out a pretty clear mythology, and never tries to explain all the wierd shit as anything other than God working in his mysterious way. You don't want to accept that's the truth of the situation? Fine, but Battlestar Galactica's God is real, and unknowable, and his existence is proven by the text.

For those who weren't listening, the cycle of Humans beget Cylons beget armegeddon, has been repeating for eons. God, for whatever reason, is fed up of it. When he sees it happening on Earth 1, he sends his angels to avert the catastrophe, but they're ineffective. When he sees it happening on the colonies, he decides to get interventionalist. By the time he's finished frakking with everyone, they're a million light years from home, on a fleet of ships held together by gaffa tape and pessimism.

When it comes to the decision to turn away from advanced technology, the show has already established that these ships are falling apart, and with no means of manufacturing new parts are desperate to scavenge spares from the Galactica. Once that old bird makes its final jump, you might be able to make some pretty bangles from several components, but there’s not a lot left that’s functional. No, having found a habitable planet, they really have no option but to settle there. Bleak, and depressing sure, but hey, that's BSG.

The 30,000 survivors of the 50,000,000,000 strong twelve colonies don't have the knowledge or skills to rebuild and maintain an industrial society. They tried it on New Caprica, and were clearly failing there, despite having more resources. They were never going to be able to do it on Earth. However, the species would survive and have a second chance - through Hera. God wins, barring free-will ruining things again.

Does anyone get a happy ending? Laura dies after leading her people to the promised land; Galen runs off to Scotland because he just can't trust himself to trust anyone else; Kara's bought back to life, relearns how to love, and is then snatched from existence; Lee is abandoned by everyone he loves; Baltar's scorned inheritance turns out to be the only thing capable of keeping him alive; and the whole human race is placed under the care of President Rollo Lampkin. Doesn’t sound too good, does it, but every one of those fates has an undeniable silver lining, and I'll leave it to you to figure out how the end of each character's story was perfect in its way.

The chronology has been puzzling. Why have the colonists land on Earth 150,000 years ago, instead of at a later time when they could have plausibly introduced agriculture (say 9000 years ago - certainly recent enough to hasten the end of prehistory)?

The timeframe of 150,000 years ago roughly coincides with the evolution of modern homo-sapiens and the development of behavioural modernity. From our 21st century viewpoint, we tend to be terribly condescending about our neolithic ancestors, but the truth (as far as we know it) is that they were quite societally advanced. The colonists may have lost a lot when they threw their ships into the sun, but they retained enough to leave a lasting legacy of language, art, cooking, humour, games, distance trading, tools, fishing, music and religion.

Let's not forget that, also within this time frame, the planet has experienced an ice-age, a super-massive volcanic eruption, plagues, and any number of near misses with extinction, that would have left any and all archeology destroyed and any memory of the colonists subsumed into the collective unconscious.

Is it so hard to imagine that, even if the remaining colonists had built homes with plumbing and running water, chicken coops and vegetable patches; that even if they had continued writing letters to each other, in the end their population simply wasn't large enough to exist, in the long term, on more than a subsistance level? Humanity's history is a cycle of dark ages - civilizations fall, and technologies are invented, forgotten, reinvented, over and over again. Over the generations they would have regressed - as a result of their low numbers and inability to transmit information. This was inevitable: whether they threw their ships into the sun or not, they would eventually forget, if not how to use them, how they worked. A population needs to reach a certain level before it can maintain a certain quality of life. The oncoming deterioration reminds me of the conclusion to Earth Abides, where in the end, bows and arrows prove more useful than rusting sidearms.

We now find ourselves at the same point the Colonies were (minus the spacefaring) about a century before the first Cylon war: on the verge of the singularity. The question is: are we going to end up on a distant planet, reduced to a fraction of our numbers, traumatised and debased, doomed to regress to the stone age, or are we going to break the cycle?

Daybreak was, most fittingly, a challenging and polarising ending, but one that I think was consistent with everything that’s gone before in Battlestar Galactica. The story was always about the characters, and in the flashbacks to Caprica before the fall, the journey was completed by showing us the beginning,. With this structural trick - the beginning is the end, the end is the beginning - Moore completes the circle. The cycle is broken, and whatever happens next is new.

A great show, a great ending.

Huggable James Moran's Big Writing FAQ

2009-03-17T11:42:00.005Z

The title says it all. Moran answers all the common questions people toss at him. Just don't ask him for John Barrowman's autograph, or he'll seal your fate.

Very nice.

Celtx v2

2009-02-26T18:46:00.000Z

Version 2 of Celtx, my favourite free screenwriting app, was released today. Many of the improvements, such as the move to the Firefox 3 codebase, are under the hood, and the end result is an application that looks and behaves pretty much the same as the last version, only a good deal snappier. Which is what you want, really.

The biggest change is server side, and is a whopper. Taking a leaf out of Apple’s studied playback the Celtx team have taken features that were once free, given them a polish, renamed them from Web Services to Celtx Studios, and decided to charge for them. Frankly, I don’t blame them at all.

If you were using Celtx’s free web services to collaborate on projects, each member of your team will now need a $50 annual subscription to a Celtx Studio instead. You can still email scripts around for collaboration, of course, but Celtx Studios offers a tidy, organised online workspace for sharing and back-ups. It’s actually pretty neat, and available as a free beta until March 24th, so you’ve plenty of time to try it out before making the move to Zhura or Scrippd or Scriptbuddy or Fivespockets.

The other major change is support for extensions and other add-ons, that will be part of the Celtx Toolbox. Not sure how this will be used, as very little info has been posted so far, but I imagine we’ll soon see lots of gimmicky random name generators and so forth sprouting up.

Can’t wait for that.

Celtx 2.0 is available for Mac OS 10.4 and above, Windows something or other, and Linux.

Being Human will return

2009-02-26T18:29:00.001Z

BBC Three have declared Being Human a triumph and ordered an expanded second season. The show will return with eight eps, up from six, and promises

some very exciting, very dark new stories.

Being Human has been an iPlayer hit and its website has become one of the best performing on the Beeb’s site.

The final episode of Being Human is this Sunday.

The script for the first episode is here.
The website is here.
Press release here.

I’ve enjoyed the series a hell of a lot, but feel it could benefit from a forty-five minute running time, rather than the full sixty, which sadly tend to sag in the middle. Still, a second season is certainly something worth waiting for, and thankful for, as this season so nearly didn’t happen.

The long arm of the Law & Order franchise

2009-02-24T17:01:00.002Z

Monday night at nine is becoming uninterruptable telly time for me - what with Unforgiven and Moses Jones, I've been glued to the screen for the last six weeks, and could well be for the coming thirteen.

ITV may have had the knives out in the last couple of months - for Heartbeat, The Royal, Wire in the Blood, Passage to India, but at least they're still trying new things (even if they don't always work, cf Demons and Britannia High).

Their latest attempt, as we wait for the new seasons of Moving Wallpaper, The Fixer and Primeval, is Law and Order UK. Dick Wolf has figured out a novel way of getting another twenty years out of his cops and lawyers tag-team franchise - remake the entire series for a different market. Genius!

Last night's premiere, "Care," was penned by Chris Chibnall, and based on "Cradle to Grave," a second season Law & Order episode from 1992, with added mobile phones.

Admittedly, it's easy to scoff at the notion of remaking a seventeen year old episode of TV; easier still to raise a cynical sneer at the headline grabbing subject matter of a suffocated baby chosen for this opening episode.

With Kudos at the helm however, one has to expect at least a solid hour of television. This was - no more, and no less - an episode of Law & Order, set in London. Whether or not you think that's a good thing depends on your own preferences.

The format is exactly as we've come to expect - for half the episode, the police look for someone to arrest, in the second half the CPS figure out how to prosecute them. It's a classic formula, one which works well in the US and transfers well to the UK, despite differences in our legal systems.

London looks just as I remember it - 'orrible. I can't count the number of times I had to walk to Sadlers Wells from Kings Cross, because the Angel was shut again. It's one of the most depressing routes I've ever paced, and seeing it on the box last night, I was gladder than ever that I never have to do it again. Fortunately, I never stumbled over a corpse in King's Cross; that's the sort of thing you're more likely to find on Kingsway, but recognisable locations always add a spot of verisimilitude to drama.

With the exception of Patrick Malahide's outrageously amoral defence lawyer - a stereotype that surely deserves ten to life, the cast were uniformly strong. I don't know if Malahide's going to be a recurring foil for Ben Daniel's crusading prosecutor, but by Jove, he'll need to dial it down a bit if so.

The show boasts an impressive roster of thespians, to tell the truth: Jamie Bamber (fresh off Battlestar Galactica, and using his own accent again); Bradley Walsh (surprisingly effective in a dramatic role); Harriet Walter; Freema Agyeman; and Bill Patterson, all make a good account of themselves. Whether it's a legacy of the parent show, or Chris Chibnall showing off his chops, each character seems to be drawn with a skill and depth often absent in pilot episodes

The show is perceptibly slower paced than its US forebear, but does have a slightly longer running time. At any rate, it's still got at least three times as much oomph as most UK mystery shows and, along with shows like The Fixer, is another attempt by ITV to move away from the turgid, paint-drying pace of its established crime-solving roster.

The real test of L&O UK is still to come – how will it fare when it stops recycling American scripts, and starts breaking its own stories? The format’s proven, the location’s a goer, and the characters strong enough to carry their own water; I’m pretty hopeful that Law & Order UK will develop it’s own sense of identity and be able to hold its own against the other entries in NBC’s juggernaut franchise.

Your application for the evil league of evil is hereby rejected. Signed, Bad Horse.

2009-02-12T11:11:00.002Z

THIEVES who broke into a veterinary hospital were caught by police officers who followed their footprints in the snow.

At about 4.48am Tuesday police were called to the Chipping Norton Veterinary Hospital in Albion Street where a burglary was in progress. On arrival, officers followed footprints in the snow to a nearby property where three men were arrested. A fourth man was later arrested following further investigations.

Thames Valley Police spokesman David Paull said: "Officers attended the scene and were able to trace the offenders due to marks that had been left in the snow. Three men were arrested in property on suspicion of burglary. Using further intelligence a fourth man was arrested."

A safe had been stolen from the veterinary hospital. During the same evening burglaries had also taken place at the Co-op and Flowers Etc, which police are linking with the veterinary hospital theft. A 28-year-old man and an 18-year-old man have been released on bail until March 10. A 19-year-old man has been released on bail until March 12 while a 46-year-old man has been released without charge.

"Shaped like a lady, hung like a donkey."

2009-02-10T13:20:00.005Z

Moses Jones: 1.2 million viewers
Whitechapel: 7.1 million viewer

Shame. Last night's Moses Jones gave us political ambition, a dollop of ultra-violence and Dennis Waterman patting a ladyboy's pouch.

In this middle-episode, several characters are put under the spotlight as Moses begins obsessing about his only lead: ex-military leader in exile Matthias, while obliviously putting everyone he speaks to in grave danger. After one particularly horrible reprisal, Solomon lets loose his inner Ben Grimm and dishes out some serious pummelling.

I can't wait for next week's conclusion.

Anyone care to tell me what happened in Whitechapel?

Stranger! Stranger! Stranger!

2009-02-06T10:21:00.002Z

In my hazy morning state, yet to recall that I shaved the previous evening, I catch my reflection in the bathroom mirror, make a professional double-take, and scream. It's a deep manly scream, completely appropriate for a shock encounter with the rum and uncanny, but a scream nonetheless. Fresh of face, chubby of cheek, naked as the day I was born; for some reason the image just does not compute.

A couple of coffees later and I can again view my reversal without freaking out, but that was an odd start to the day.

An hour after the sudden onset of prosopagnosia, after negotiating the 18 inch snowdrift outside my front door, I meet a man shovelling snow off the steepest road in Chipping Norton. I'm on my way down, he is about half-way up, and I wish him luck with the rest. By the time I get to the bottom, everything he's cleared has already filled in again. Poor bugger, it's going to be a long day.

Being Human script

2009-02-05T13:38:00.002Z

What's this, another post? I'm surely going to burn out at this rate.

Those fine fellows at the BBC Writers' Room have posted the first episode of Being Human on their website. Not the original pilot, this is the first episode of the current bun. Run. Sorry, snowed in and starving, here. Cannibalism is a mere flurry away, I fear.

Anyway, HERE IT IS.

Woooo, woooo,wooooooo.

Moses Jones - Uganda it if you try, BBC2

2009-02-04T11:01:00.009Z

BBC Two's original drama has been in a bit of a slump recently. Stuck in a rut that has seen them producing "commemorative, " or "worthy" programming - they've not shown anything to really stir my soul for some time.

As a result, while I was committing the error of watching Whitechapel on Monday night, I missed the airing of Joe Penhall's Moses Jones. I caught up with Episode One (of Three) last night and was seriously impressed. Although the mini has been touted as a chance to see the new Doctor Who in action, his role is relatively minor. The story belongs to the eponymous copper and a group of Ugandan immigrants – some in the country legally, others not so much. In fact the story belongs, in a way, to London: to its bustle, its grime, its diffusion, and ambivalence to the fates of those it shelters.

When a brutally mutilated body is discovered in the Thames, Moses Jones is put on the case by his superiors at Scotland Yard, simply because of his ethnic heritage. Paired with DS Dan Twentyman, the two are met with a wall of silence from the local community, until they are offered a clear lead from a very unlikely source.

As with Unforgiven, Moses Jones gets its set-up out of the way as quickly as possible, and spends as little time explaining things to the audience as it can get away with.

Moses, for example, is a cypher. When we first meet him, we don't know who or what he is. Just a man shaving his chest - a seemingly narcissistic act, until it's reframed by a shot of him tearing off a small strip of tape. No further information is given; it's left to our knowledge of crime drama and its tropes to conclude that he's about to wear a wire.

Later, it becomes evident that Moses is a man who tries to distance himself from his background. Born in London, his parents were Ugandan, and it is this tenuous connection that leaves him saddled reluctantly to the case. He gives away nothing about himself. In the only moment we see him alone and off duty, he's swigging vodka like barley water.

Other characters are as swiftly introduced. Consummately drawn, they debut fully-formed. Behaving one way, they nevertheless betray the hints of a conflicting inner life that is private for now, but will shortly be drawn forth as events force them to reveal their true selves.

At one end of the spectrum of the Ugandan community is the mysterious Matthias, who despite being a legal immigrant and doing his best to hold down the capital's most disgusting jobs, is mixed up in some seriously messy stuff. His shadow is Solomon, a musician who, though in the country without papers, is nevertheless an extremely moral man. Caught between them are Joy, an outrageously beautiful prostitute/escort/hostess, whose uncle turns out to be the body in the Thames, and Jo, a charming but naive minicab controller, an unwitting and increasingly desperate accessory to murder.

I can’t give this any higher compliment than to say this was as smart, vibrant and well-plotted as the best of Pelecanos or Mosley. Get to the BBC's iPlayer, or your torrent site of choice asap.

"Gentlemen, welcome to Hell"

2009-02-03T11:51:00.002Z

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so did I abandon all hope.

Following the ITV commissioning anomaly that was the outstanding Unforgiven, the network were back on more familiar ground last night, with Whitechapel.

120 years after Jack the Ripper terrorised the East End, women are being attacked and killed in meticulous recreations of his crimes.

Hot on his heels are the clueless and by the book (literally - referring to the Murder Investigation Manual throughout) DI Rupert Penry-Jones and a squad of cynical, dishevelled odourous detectives, led by Phil Davis. Penry-Jones has a thing, naturally: OCD, and a habit of rubbing balm into his temples.

Production values were high, London looked suitably murky, and the performances were very good, but overall the whole thing was predictable, uninspired, and a complete load of old cobblers.

Welcome back, ITV.

Pilot scripts

2009-02-02T17:06:00.010Z

If you're a TV lover and script hoarder such as myself, you might want to check out the scripts from some recent new series (that premiered either in 2008, or this year). For your delight, I hereby present:

90210 (CW)
Ashes to Ashes (BBC)
Bonekickers (BBC)
Breaking Bad (AMC)
The Ex-List (CBS)
Flashpoint (CTC)
Fringe (Fox)
Knight Rider (NBC)
Leverage (TNT)
Lie to Me (Fox)
Life on Mars (ABC)
The Mentalist (CBS)
Merlin (BBC)
Miss Guided (ABC)
My Own Worst Enemy (NBC)
New Amsterdam (FOX)
Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family)
Survivors (BBC)
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Fox)
True Blood (HBO)
United States of Tara (Showtime)
Worst Week (CBS)

De Montford calling

2009-01-28T14:49:00.004Z

As long suffering readers may recall, last year I gazed into the gaping maws of death while driving home from an event at De Montford University. The event was fantastic, my escape from the hereafter rejuvenating, and my finances crippled by roadside assistance bills.

I later managed to bag a ’96 Almera for £150, to make up for losing the Pug. Less poke, but far more manoeuvrable. And it passed its MOT this month with a clean sheet!

All that’s by-the-by, however, as the De Montford event is back, saddled with the sub-heading Fantastic Writing - science fiction, fantasy and magic: Writing the future, the past and other worlds.

In their own words:

De Montfort University will be hosting the third annual writers day for aspiring TV scriptwriters on Saturday 7th March 2009 at the Leicester City campus.

The one day event will give guests the opportunity to hear from industry professionals in the form of keynote speeches and question and answer panels. Previous speakers have included Jed Mercurio (Bodies, Cardiac Arrest, Frankenstein), Laurence Marks (Birds of a Feather), Tony Marchant (Mark of Cain, Recovery) and Kate Rowland (BBC Writersroom).

The theme for this year’s event will be Fantastic Writing - Science Fiction, Fantasy & Magic: Writing the future, the past and other worlds

Confirmed guests include James Moran (Doctor Who, Torchwood and Spooks), Phil Ford (Sarah Jane Adventures, Dr Who and Torchwood), Stephen Volk (Afterlife) and Graham Joyce - winner of the World Fantasy Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Angus Award and the O Henry short story prize. Graham has also written screenplays for Hollywood studios and is currently commissioned to work on the story line for the computer game DOOM 4.

Stephen Volk created and was lead writer of the award-winning ITV drama series Afterlife starring Lesley Sharp and Andrew Lincoln, called 'terrific television' (The Guardian) and 'Unmissable' (Mail on Sunday). A BAFTA-winning screenwriter, his TV and movie credits include Ken Russell's Gothic, Octane, Shockers and the notorious, almost legendary, BBC 'Halloween hoax' Ghostwatch.

Event organiser and course leader for the unique MA, Christopher Walker says “This is a rare opportunity for scriptwriters of all levels, from complete beginners through to those who have already had some success in the industry, to hear from industry professionals - there are two keynote speakers and two question and answer panels. Events like this are usually restricted to London so it's a way of giving opportunities to writers from the East Midlands to meet with industry professionals, network and get inspired to boost their writing careers.”

Link

Graham Joyce wrote the most enjoyable novel of 2008: Memoirs of a Master Forger, which I liked so much I was inspired to send a fan-boyish email thanking him for writing it. If you've not read it, please do, it's fantastic.

I met TV’s so-called James Moran at the Screenwriters’ Festival, and found the experience underwhelming. Expecting a crazed encounter with an octo-handed, time-shifting slathering nut, I was disappointed to find him an altogether pleasant chap, who gave freely and generously of his time, talking for hours and hours and forgetting to go to the toilet.

If you think there can possibly be any benefit in watching this man on a panel, then the day costs £65, which includes parking (not too hard to find, and near the event) and lunch (plentiful but cramped). Smokers please note, a big yellow line has been painted around the venue, inside which you must not smoke.

Being Human - tougher than you think

2009-01-25T22:10:00.002Z

So, after a long, long wait since last February’s pilot, that was the first episode of Being Human. Did you like it? I did. It was creepy and funny; well-written, and unflinching. It was darker than I expected, actually; definitely veering more toward drama than comedy. Nice to see a show debut so strongly, with such a clear sense of its own aims, identity and - crucially - ability.

For those Not In The Know, the basic pitch of Being Human is: a werewolf, a vampire, and a ghost share a house in Bristol. All they want is to be normal.

Bloody complications ensue.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-24T19:26:00.001Z

Have you missed me? I hope not, you should all have much better things to do than worry about where I’ve staggered off to.

I’ve been reading you all in my absence, and it’s good to see you keeping so busy. A spectacular number of bloggers got through to the second round of The Red Planet prize, and those who’ve got the chops to go further should be hearing all about it soon; so good luck, mes amis.

I myself have not been sitting on my hands, but using them to karate chop away at 2009 like a sex-starved Ross Geller, only the sex in this metaphor is...well...damn it, sex.

At least I’m managing to keep one nib inky, as it were. Britain needs better writers, as is clearly evidenced by the likes of Demons and Merlin, to name but two (both shows crafted by the same fair sets of hands, by the way). I was just trying to watch Demons, but no, I’m sorry, I can’t. My IQ is greater than 40, after all.

I despair sometimes, I really do.

At least there is still the occasional ray of intelligence bursting forth. Sally Wainwright’s Unforgiven has been absolutely stellar these last two weeks, so the fact that it’s only a three parter makes me a little glum. Wainwright’s script is so lean, it whistles as it moves. No word is wasted, no scene drawn out; it’s an out and out marvel. Suranne Jones I only know from Vincent and half an episode of Harley Street, neither of which really gave any clue of her abilities, but as Ruth Slater released after 15 years inside after killing two policemen, aged 17, she commands the screen. Monday night’s finale promises revelations and repercussions. and I’ll not be missing it, come Monday night.

Incidentally, the BBC have asked Wainwright to pep up Robin Hood, following what’s sure to be the departure of almost all the cast after the end of the upcoming third season. If they lik her ideas and commission a fourth season, I’ll finally start watching.

The show that just won't die

2008-08-11T20:26:00.002+01:00

Life must be getting tedious for poor old Stephen Moffat. Another Worldcon, another Hugo for Doctor Who. Sigh. Year after year, regular as a clockwork assassin.

Congrats to Moffat and all that, but what really caught my attention in this year’s awards, was one of the other entrants in the "Best Dramatic Presentation, Short Form" category: Star Trek New Voyages – World Enough and Time. Unless I've missed something momentous, and a new Trek series is airing that no-one told me about, then surely this is a fan production? Is there such a dearth of quality SF programing that the Hugo selectors have stooped to nominating amateur, unlicensed dramatic fanfic?

Obviously I'm being a leetle obnoxious here. Downright bigoted, in fact. And clearly I have missed something momentous, but more on that later. The notion of fan made continuations of classic series is not alien to me. I was introduced to the notion when I stumbled on a virtual sixth season of Babylon 5, back in ‘99, and there have plenty more since.They occupy a ghostly no-man’s land: by no means canon, but not exactly fanfic, either. More often than not, enthusiasm turns out to be a poor substitute for talent, and none of these projects could ever be accused of professionalism or, to be blunt, ambition. My evaluation of these projects’ ultimate worth changed when I discovered Big Finish, who I grudgingly acknowledged did a fine job producing new, fan made Doctor Who after the series ended. Some of the audio adventures - particularly Spare Parts, The Holy Terror and Chimes of Midnight - surpass their parent show in terms of quality. But World Enough and Time is a full, hour length, visual presentation. Offered for free on the internet. Surely it has the words train-wreck, clusterfuck and the well worn phrase, apparently now trademarked by Lucasfilms, "raped my childhood" all over it. It had to be watched.

Well, if I did it, so should you. Tomorrow I’m going to run in front of a bus. World Enough and Time is the third episode in the New Voyages series, and can be downloaded from a number of mirror sites, listed here, along with the previous stories.

Now, enough of the flippancy. The truth is, I wouldn’t be linking to it if I didn’t think it was worth an hour of your time. I watched it, and to say I was surprised would be an understatement. Not only did I feel ashamed for expecting so little, I finished it wanting more. Yes, my feeble, uncharitable preconceptions were well and truly smashed.

Star Trek New Voyages’ mission statement is to chronicle:

the continuing voyages of Captain Kirk and the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise, NCC-1701 as seen in the 1966-69 television series, Star Trek. The series was cancelled after its third season. We are presenting the series as if it were in its fourth year. We acknowledge that the visual effects are contemporary, but we work hard within out capabilities to keep the effects familiar to fans of the original series.

Despite some hair(line)-raising eyebrow acting and one appalling Scottish accent, they succeed. This is a well made piece of drama, deserving of its nomination.

The Enterprise, responding to a distress signal from a ship that has strayed into the Romulan neutral zone, arrives just in time to watch it atomised by three Romulan birds-of-prey, packing a powerful new weapon. The Enterprise retaliates against the Romulans, but after destroying them and their weapon, is trapped within an inter-dimensional shield. Sulu, accompanied by a computer scientist, pilots a shuttle into the wreckage to salvage a means of freeing the Enterprise. However, when the docking bay is destroyed, and the shuttle lost, the Enterprise has to try and beam them back. Only Sulu returns, but thirty years older. Having been shunted into a parallel universe, he’s lived through all that time while only seconds have passed on the Enterprise. Now with a daughter in tow, he must try and recall the knowledge of the Romulan device and save the Enterprise. The price he must pay to do this is almost beyond bearing.

The CGI used in the project is decent, and the script rock solid, with excellent characterisaton, a compelling complication, plenty of alarming reversals and a strong moral dilemma at its core. And the denoument is spot on.

That the script was of a high calibre oughtn’t be surprising, given that the writing credits of Michael Reaves and Marc Scott Zicree could probably shame many of us. Episode two, To Serve all My Days, was penned by the legend that is D.C Fontana, and the upcoming Blood and Fire is by David Gerrold (The Trouble with Tribbles).

I’ve never subscribed to, or properly understood, the fanatical devotion inspired by Gene Roddenberry’s creation, famously described as “Wagon Train in space,” but anything that can drive any group of people to create such a high quality, clearly demanding labour of love, and then offer it up for free, has to have been a worthwhile endeavour. Roddenberry, and everyone attached to this series, and its various “sister” projects, can be proud of their achievements, and their greatly appreciated altruism.

Got an X-Box 360? Get Braid.

2008-08-09T18:24:00.004+01:00

Braid is the most ingenious, thoughtful, fulfilling game I’ve played since Ico. It debuted on X-Box Live Arcade on Wednesday, after several years in development, and in a matter of days has taken the gaming world by storm. Hyperbole? When you read the game’s description, you might think so:

Braid is a puzzle-platformer, drawn in a painterly style, where the player manipulates the flow of time in strange and unusual ways. From a house in the city, journey to a series of worlds and solve puzzles to rescue an abducted princess. In each world, you have a different power to affect the way time behaves, and it is time's strangeness that creates the puzzles. The time behaviors include: the ability to rewind, objects that are immune to being rewound, time that is tied to space, parallel realities, time dilation, and perhaps more. Braid treats your time and attention as precious; there is no filler in this game. Every puzzle shows you something new and interesting about the game world.

Nothing much original there, you might imagine. Portal was all the puzzle game I need, thanks, and we’ve all seen time go backwards, or haven’t you played Prince of Persia? And anyway - 2D? HDTV might be the source of a sprite renaissance, but no-one who’s serious about games is going to give it a second look.

You may assume that because this is a 2D platformer, downloadable content hosted by X-Box Live Arcade, it’s in some way a less than legitimate game. That if it hasn’t had $100 million spent on development, PR and marketing, it’s no more than a simple product for the casual gaming crowd. But to call Braid a casual game is to miss the point as spectacularly as those who would call Watchmen a comic for people who don’t read comics. It draws from the entire history of a medium to tell a story that can only be told effectively using the tools of the medium, in a way that uses the medium’s conventions to comment upon itself, its audience and the world. Like life, it provides no instructions; you learn the rules by observing the world around you, and its interactions, and then you break them. Braid goes so much further in the way it uses time as a gameplay mechanic than anything that came before it that it’s almost a quantum leap. When you first create a parallel version of yourself to solve a puzzle, I promise you, your mind will be blown.

Because listen, this not just a game that uses time to forestall death, a la Prince of Persia; this is a game about time. About growth, and development, and regret for the things you can’t take back. It’s a game whose design, with its two-dimensional environment, created beautifully in bold watercolour strokes that look glorious on an HDTV, and whose soundtrack, classical and subdued, together generate an atmosphere that transports you to other places, other times, and totally complement the game’s metaphorical and allegorical storyline.

This is not just a game about time, but a game about history. It’s a game that looks back though the medium’s past and synthesises influences to create something wonderful; not merely nostalgia for an eight bit past, but a love letter to the “princess.” WIth an art style that evokes Yoshi’s Island, and levels inspired by Donkey Kong, Braid is an outright paean to gaming’s development.

It’s a game that shows us, through little more than fiendish level design, that we’re always changing, but rarely recognise it. That you have to look back to go forwards. That sometimes, you don’t know how far you’ve come until you return to the start, or that you can be minding your own business when suddenly, something - the scent of perfume, a snatch of music, a bird’s ascent - throws you back in time. Most of all, it reaffirms that the present doesn’t make sense, is a chaotic place, and only coalesces, if we’re lucky, into a narrative based around ourselves when we can look back at it from a point outside time, outside our own lives and experience. Generally, we can’t do that while we’re alive, so we use art to look at the lives of others. We inhabit, temporarily, the worlds of constructs, and seek to extract from them knowledge that can enrich and explain our existence. The very best of these worlds can change the way you look at your own.

Braid holds that honour. You really should experience it for yourself.

Ita in vita ut in lusu alae pessima jactura arte corrigenda est

2008-08-08T16:11:00.001+01:00

There’s been not a lot of note going on in the world of TV lately. In the UK, plenty of new shows have premiered: Bonekickers (still ludricrous but no longer shit), Harley Street (honestly, was anyone in need of more docs on the box?), House of Saddam (Godfather in Iraq), and Burn Up (trashy polemical); while the altogether higher quality Mad Men, Burn Notice and Saving Grace have returned to American screens. ABC Family have introduced The Middleman, of which I have no idea what to think, but suspect I enjoy. The other ABC have been airing The Hollowmen, which is a tamer version of The Thick of It. Subsequently, it’s a lot less funny, but still fun to watch.

Yesterday, there was a perfect storm of telly news. In the UK, it looks like Holby Blue has been axed in order to maintain the purity of the Holby brand. That the brand was applied by a filthy, hot poker, and is leaking pus all over the nation’s TV screens matters to nobody. Poor old Red Planet - that’s two out of three shows down, now. As long as it stays at that ratio, and Moving Wallpaper gets a second stab, I’ll be happy.

I was convinced its appalling first season would be Robin Hood’s only chance to target the appreciation index, but back it came for season two, despite Budapest being a poor stand-in for Sherwood, and Keith Allen being a terrible stand-in for Alan Rickman; who was himself a pale, mooncast shadow of Nikolas Grace. Season three is on its way, but the news that poor wikkle Jonas Armstrong will be too tired to continue further must surely be the drama’s death knell. Tiger Aspect can’t possibly regenerate Robin Hood, though they might be out there, looking for their Jason Connery, right now. Let’s all move on. Ivanhoe, anyone? Treasure Island? Moonfleet?

Well, that’s my humble nation dispatched with. Over in the States, there’s good news for those who love original and offbeat writing; bad news if you’re of a superstitious nature, and believe there ain’t no-luck-but bad-luck. TV jinx Darin Morgan has been bought onto staff at Fringe, the new JJ Abrams opus. Morgan’s most recent gigs were Bionic Woman and Night Stalker. Better luck this time, sir.

Battlestar Galactica may well be coming to an end in ten episodes – though they might all be seventy minute episodes, the way things are going – and Caprica may be we all get of Ron Moore in 2008. But it looks as though the show intends to live on. Jane Espenson has been announced as the writer of a further prequel, to be directed by Edward James Olmas, which is due to air after the series finale airs, sometime in 2009.

Finally, AMC, having recreated the early sixties in all it’s sexist, entitled glory, are turning their hands to the down-beat, crime-ridden, paranoia-driven seventies, with a series version of Francis Ford Coppala’s inter-Godfather gem, The Conversation. Apparently, NBC tried this in ’95, but got nowhere. I’d love to see someone capture the Easy Rider, Raging Bull film sensibility and whack it onto telly. If this pans out, it could be the greatest series ever. Tip out that sax, Harry!

Payday. Praise Allah!

2008-07-28T20:54:00.000+01:00

The Screenwriters’ Festival wiped out my disposable income for July, and it finished on the third. I came home from Cheltenham with £30 in my pocket, and haven’t withdrawn a penny or made a debit card transaction since. My bank manager called mid-month to check I was still alive.

I owe my survival to three things – a well stocked freezer; a big box of liquid laundry sachets, left over from when I converted back to powder (better for the machine); and £50 worth of hoarded coppers and unspent Euros I scraped together. Without any of these I would have died, starving, in dirty, ragged linen. Leaving an unkempt corpse is a terrible fear.

Have I learnt anything from this experience? I can live on very little, and it’s certainly encouraging to know that. I’m probably going to be a lot more thrifty from now on, so that this never happens again, and I know I won’t be spending money on anything unless I need it, or really, really want it. But it would have to be something outrageously special. Like a submarine.

'arvey's 'havin' 'oops

2008-07-25T11:51:00.003+01:00

I don't usually have much time for Variety, but in their TV news today comes the staggering information that Colm Meaney is out, and Harvey Keitel is in, as Gene Hunt in the rather troubled Life on Mars remake.

Can't wait to see him make a traffic stop.

A truly horrible week

2008-07-19T10:16:00.000+01:00

Act Three of Doctor Horrible’s Sing-along Blog was posted last night. If you’ve been ignoring my recommendations, you’re a damn fool. If you’ve been “waiting for the trade,” go see all three acts for free, while you can.

Act Three is classic Whedon, and totally broke my heart.

Damn you, Whedons.

It's Horrible

2008-07-16T18:18:00.001+01:00

At last, the internet has recovered from the assault of the Whedonistas, and Dr Horrible’s Sing-along Blog can now be viewed by pretty much anyone with a broadband connection. And view it you should.

Act One was released yesterday. Act Two will be out tomorrow, though most likely inaccessible until Friday, and the thrilling Finale will be released on Saturday. From Sunday, you’ll have to pay to watch it, so get a move on.

Here’s the trailer:

Now go and see the first thirteen minutes. You’ll like it, I promise. It’s funny. And romantic. And tuneful.

UPDATE - blimey, Act Two is available NOW.

If this is what it takes to write like Paul Abbott, I'll pass, thanks

2008-07-12T17:52:00.001+01:00

Parental abandonment, raped at thirteen, prostituted himself for a typewriter, multiple suicide attempts before his sixteenth birthday, bi-polar disorder, institutionalised, and repeatedly scammed by members of his own family; it’s an incredible tale, told to Media Guardian today.

Dancing

2008-07-10T21:22:00.001+01:00

If there’s anyone out there who hasn’t seen this yet, and there must be one or two because I hadn’t until five minutes ago, this will put a smile on your sour, winkled face.

And maybe a tear to your eye? It’s okay, you can admit it without fear of prejudice here. I think we’ve established I’m not as miserable as I look.