Do Life Right

Healthy Sleep Patterns

2007-11-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

Today's children, as a whole, are not getting enough sleep. They are overworked and overpressured. Sleep is often the first thing to drop out of a busy kid's schedule. Our teenagers (and younger children) shouldn't need caffeine and other stimulants just to "get by" and make it through the day (neither should adults, but that's a separate issue).

Studies have been shown that when teenagers are allowed to follow their natural rhythms, they sleep in later than when school normally starts. It's been shown that these "late morning hours" are the most important hours for teens' health. The quality of sleep during these hours is significantly higher than the hours before. Some schools are using this research to start their schools later in the morning. I read about one high school last year that found their students were healthier and scoring higher on tests by just pushing the school start time back by an hour or so.

A few interesting articles:

New York Magazine's October 7, 2007 "Snooze or Lose" article
The Star.com's October 27, 2007 "Toronto schools will let students sleep in" article
Science World's March 6, 1996 "Dozing at your desk?" article
Stanford's "Adolescent Sleep" information
Washington Post's January 6, 2006 "Schools Waking Up to Teens' Unique Sleep Needs" article

Drowsiness is also dangerous! 20+% of serious car accidents are caused from a driver being drowsy. This is serious. Tired driving can be even more dangerous than drunk driving, and we all know how dangerous that is!

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My family's two-fold solution to the learning and sleep dilemma involve Radical Unschooling.

We Radically Unschool our children's education.
We Radically Unschool our children's sleeping.

What this means on a day-to-day basis is that our children have very flexible schedules. We encourage them to sleep when they are tired, do fun things when they are awake, and rest quietly (with or without us) when they are drowsy. We've seen first hand how solid learning often happens during the wee hours of the morning (all four of us are at our "most productive" from ~8PM-2AM). We purposefully schedule as few activities as possible before 1PM. The kids often sleep until 11AM or 12PM, sometimes later (especially if we've had a busy day/night, the day before). We're noticing that our older daughter is needing even more sleep lately as she's been growing about an inch a month for the past few months. We allow her to listen to her body and, in turn, she's getting plenty of sleep.

We don't have a "bedtime" for our kids. It just isn't needed, nor is it conducive to learning. It is baffling to me when parents regularly stop their children from learning, just to go to sleep.

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To give a point of view on sleep and adults, Dr. McDougall (whom I adore) suggests that adults consider using well planned sleep deprivation as a tool to cure depression and insomnia. I understand his point of view, but as an active adult with two young children, I still need to average 8 hours a night. (I also need enough quality sleep in order to induce lucid dreaming). :) Maybe I'll need less when I'm older.

Here are a few of Dr. McDougall sleep articles:
"Sleep Like a Baby -- Lessons from my Grandson on How to Cure Insomnia"
"Pharmaceutical Companies Promote Sleeping Sickness"
"A Natural Cure for Depression"

Exactly Where I Need to Be

2007-11-16T00:23:00.000-07:00

My older daughter and I had the good fortune to see Amy Steinberg in concert this week. How a woman with such a soulful and spirited voice isn't hugely popular is beyond me. After the show we stood in line to get Amy's autograph on our CDs. I also brought along my camera, hoping for a photo like the one above of Amy, me, my daughter. Amy knew without being told that we were friends with AnneO and part of the Shine with Unschooling list. I guess our sparkle was too shiny to not be noticed. :) Or, maybe it was my "Incredibly Loved" shirt?

I asked for the photo and Amy asked the closest stranger to take the photo for us. What a nice surprise it was for us to find that the stranger wasn't a stranger at all, but rather our amazing and wonderful hairstylist, Jennifer Andrews. Amy happened to be on the lookout for a someone that could give her a good haircut. The two made plans to get together the next day. I'm sure she now has the best hair cut that she's ever had.

Find music you like and support the artist! Big names aren't necessarily better than what you'll find locally (or at least on a smaller level). We've found another concert (KT Tunstall, the Indigo Girls, Brandi Carlile and Ingrid Michaelson at ONE event!) to go to in December and we can't wait.

Vegan Advent Calendars

2007-11-15T01:05:00.000-07:00

As a vegan family that celebrates Christmas, we've felt left out in the fun chocolate advent calendars that we see in all the stores this time of year. Those cute little windows with chocolates hiding behind them are SO fun. Unfortunately, we just haven't been able to find any that are vegan (and I've been seriously looking every year for five years). I've been given the advice by well meaning people that I should just purchase a non-vegan version, empty it, then refill it with vegan chocolate. I'm not willing to do this.

Last year, I made up a strand of mini construction paper cornucopias, and with a bunch of little candies from Vegan Essentials I was able to construct fun calendars for my daughters. Vegan Essentials carries fun little chocolates, toffees, and suckers that can be nicely tucked into handmade calendars. I've seen much fancier homemade versions, but I'd been holding out until the last minute on getting something that was premade. This past Halloween season, I was able to find little boxes of individually wrapped Endangered Species chocolates (our favorite vegan chocolate) at our local Target stores (in the candy section, not the seasonal section). I'm hoping that these are a permanently stocked item. They would be perfect for advent calendars. Maybe Endangered Species will even come out with a vegan advent calendar some year! That would be fantastic!

The year before last, we tried two different Lego Advent Calendars. I've wanted to try one of the Playmobil or Polly Pocket ones, but my daughters haven't been interested. Here is a list of a bunch of potentially fun toy advent calendars. We've done them once, and so my daughters aren't interested in getting them again.

Our homemade versions and toy versions have been fun, but I want my kids to have a *pop* of excitement with their calendars every year. I've tried to get their input several times, but they always want the final advent calendar decision to be a surprise... Oh, the dilemma.

Stop reading now if you are a daughter of mine. :)

This year, after another extensive search, I narrowed down our choices to:

Another homemade version with candies
A slightly better reusable sewn handmade version with candies and/or toys
One of these from Chinaberry
An empty fabric, wood, or sticker calendar from Strictly Christmas
The "Christmas Countdown Chest of Drawers" from Signals Catalog (complete with mini decorations in each drawer and a mini tree to put them on)
An empty fabric or wood one from Target.com (the wood ones are actually quite nice for the price)
An empty fabric or wood one from The Company Store

I've made the decision to get little packets of candy (probably some Endangered Species chocolate for the regular days and a chocolate Santa or chocolate trees from Vegan Essentials or Cosmo's Vegan Shoppe for the last day) and put them into a drawer type calendar for my daughters to share. They've always had their own calendar in the past, but I think they'll like this for a change. If not, we'll try something new next year.

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If you happen to live in the UK, I've found several vegan advent calendars with the little windows with chocolate behind them. These are seasonal, so if they aren't in stock now, check back again soon. Check out these companies if you haven't already (I've never ordered from any):

Whatever you decide to use for your advent adventure this year, be sure and have a fun holiday season. It's not too early to start figuring out your Holiday menu. Pretty much all recipes can be easily veganized, even ones with ham, fish and steak! Vegan Essentials sells fantastic vegan scallops.

"I'd Unschool my children if only..."

2007-11-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

I receive this comment a lot:

"I'd Unschool my children if only [they were more motivated, weren't special needs, wouldn't sit in front of the television all day long]." The list of excuses goes on and on, with the most popular one lately being "ADD". The fact remains that if you have a child that is special in any way (and I believe that all people are if you look closely enough; have you checked yourself against these various "special" lists?), they are in even greater need of being an Unschooled child and living an Unschooling lifestyle. I've seen children's lives saved with Unschooling.

Do you really believe that your child wouldn't learn how to do anything unless you or someone else forced them to learn it? Evolution proves this to be incorrect. If we weren't born with an innate desire to learn, our species would have died out a long time ago. Children today do not necessarily need (or want) to learn the skills of our ancestors, but they do want to learn how to live in our present society. Why wouldn't they? If for some freak reason (e.g. a meteor wiped out 1/2 the world) computer skills weren't needed in the future, the survivors would learn how to survive in that world! Humans are built to learn.

Here are some great resources for people that don't believe that their child can fit the mold of a typical Unschooler (and for those that don't believe they can Unschool due to special circumstances):

Homeschooling the Child with ADD (or Other Special Needs): Your Complete Guide to Successfully Homeschooling the Child with Learning Differences by Lenore Colacion Hayes
Shine with Unschooling Yahoo list
Sandra Dodd's webpage on "Unschooling and Special Needs" -- this site has a LOT of useful Unschooling information
Life Without School's "Special Needs Information"

Still have a babe in arms, or new to the concept of an alternative way of living? You may find The Highly Sensitive Person site to be a helpful start on your exciting journey. Here are some additional parenting resources. Don't think of your child as "special needs", think of them as a whole and complete person with unique needs. You need not look further than Unschooling to help dramatically with a wide variety of diagnoses that are not relevant in the real non-school world (such as ADD, ADHD, and Asperger's, just to name a few).

One of the absolutely fabulously great and wonderful things about Unschoolers is that there is NO "typical Unschooler". We are all unique individuals with unique goals and desires. The one thing we all do have in common is that we are all authentic. Celebrate your child for the unique individual she is! Celebrate yourself for the unique individual you are! There is only one YOU.

Don't Get Sick This Thanksgiving!

2007-11-13T01:47:00.000-07:00

Did you know that many people with the "flu" actually have food poisoning? The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine has tips on "How to Ensure a Safe Thanksgiving".

What are some alternatives to turkey as a main course for your Thanksgiving day meal? If you must have some sort of turkey, try one of these (or make your own!):
Tofurky
Un-Turkey
Celebration Field Roast
Garden Protein's Veggie Turkey

Don't have time to shop around for a faux turkey? Try making something a bit less traditional, but still with all the fall flavors you love. Try butternut squash lasagna or casserole, meatless loaf (mushroom, nut, grain, or TVP), more traditional casserole (Shepherd's pie, pot pie), stuffed veggies, soup, or even stuffed breads (like runzas). Any of these make nice main courses.

Do Life Right's Butternut Squash Lasagna Recipe:
1 package of whole wheat lasagna
1 large butternut squash
1-2 cups (or so) pecans
1-2 packages of your favorite vegan cheddar
(or your own homemade version)

Cook squash in oven for about an hour at 350F, allow to cool.
Peel (it practically falls off if the squash is cooked completely)
and get rid of the seeds.
Cook pasta according to package, allow to cool.
Layer pasta, squash, pecans, and vegan cheese.
Make sure there is a lot of the cheese on the top.
Cook for about 30 minutes or so at 350F+.
Once it is slightly browned, it is perfect.

Don't spend your holidays feeling ill; eat safe! Bonuses include: no gristle or bones to pick around, no unwanted extra fat, and no lethargic after meal feeling!

Honestly, there are so many (thousands) of vegan Thanksgiving recipes on the internet, I can't pick which ones to share. My suggestion is to decide what your favorite nonnegotiable meal items are, then adjust the ingredients accordingly.

Want a cute Thanksgiving book for a child in your life? Check out this sweet one:

Also see my blog on "Preparing for a Vegan Thanksgiving".

Homeschooling and Unschooling Myths

2007-11-12T03:40:00.000-07:00

My favorite homeschooling myth is the one about socialization (although the math one is a close second). The fact of the matter is that the homeschooled and Unschooled children I know are the most socially capable children I've ever met (and, yes, I very distinctly remember being a child). These bright children know how to hold conversations with infants, agemates, other parents, and 85 year olds alike. They have no problem finding common interests (or at least sharing theirs to start conversations) in order to communicate effectively.

I will admit that there are introverted Unschoolers (probably even in the same percentages as society at large). They do, however, know how (within the realm of being a child) to handle social situations. OTOH, every schooled child over the age of 9 that I have met in the past few years has had huge difficulties holding even a trivial conversation with me on any topic -- the usual gut reaction of the child is to ignore that I exist since I'm an "adult" and adults seem to be off limits to all "cool kids". I've never had this happen in homeschooling circles, even with "shy" children. How better to learn how to live in society than to spend your time IN society? School is not real life, the world as a whole is. As my children's SDH t-shirts say, "The World is My Classroom."

Here is my favorite "What About Socialization?" conversation that succinctly sums up the difference in approach.
Here is Secular Homeschooling Magazine's extremely funny take on the topic of homeschooling myths in a wry article titled, "The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List" (although I respectfully disagree with #19 since I don't boss my kids around on any topic).
Joyfully Rejoycing on Socialization (check out the WHOLE site)

Like the above comic? Visit Inflatable Studios to see more of Jason Holm's spot-on homeschooling comics.

Vegan Athletes -- No Meat Necessary

2007-11-11T23:54:00.000-07:00

To be strong, as well as healthy, a proper diet is important. Today's athletes should know this more than anyone. They want their bodies to perform at their highest potential; they want to be their ultimate best. The best diet possible for a professional athlete in any sport, professional firefighter, amateur athlete, or even us regular every day dabbling athletes, is a conscious vegan diet.

Carl Lewis, world class Olympic athlete, became a vegan in 1990. My favorite quote from him is, "I ate no dairy products. And I had my best year as an athlete ever!" Of course, there is more to his success than merely cutting out dairy. He also cut out meats and eggs (and continued his training). Mr. Lewis had met Dr. McDougall and McDougall convinced him to change his diet to a lowfat vegan diet.

Check out these sites for more information on how you can become faster, leaner, stronger, more agile, and more fit just by changing your diet:

Dr. McDougall's "Building Your Own High-Performance Athletic Body"
PCRM's "How Will a Vegetarian Diet Affect My Athletic Performance?"
Vegan Athlete
Vegan Bodybuilding & Fitness
Brendan Brazier's (vegan triathlete), "Ask the Vegan Athlete"
Toronto Vegetarian Association's articles on vegetarian athletes
Team Vegan (vegan cycling team)

Madera Canyon

2007-11-10T23:39:00.000-07:00

Here are a few images of Madera Canyon (near Green Valley, AZ) that I took this week.

Webkinz Trading Spaces

2007-11-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

My daughters have asked me to tell more details about the following:

My children and I have taken two of our favorite activities and combined them into ONE super fun game that we enjoy so much that we now play it just about once a week. What are these two things? Webkinz and Trading Spaces.

We always start this homemade game when we have at least a couple hours available with no planned Webkinz maintenance downtime (so not close to the scheduled 2:00AM-4:30AM Webkinz time maintenance period). The rules are simple and similar to the television show Trading Spaces and we vary them depending on who we are playing with and how we all want to play.

Here are the basics:

We trade for a certain length of time.
Each person/team is given a certain number of rooms they are allowed to touch (usually 2-3). We agree to not touch any other rooms, but they can be looked at.
Each person/team is allowed to spend a certain amount of money (and NO more unless they earn it).
No one can sell any of the room owner's items, but they can reuse anything in any of the potential rooms.
If there is extra time and/or money, the other rooms can be redecorated/reorganized also.
The pets have to be kept healthy and happy, even if this means that extra food needs to be purchased during the game.

This game works best when we have at least two computers available in the same house, so that passwords aren't shared and everyone can see their houses quickly. I usually act as moderator, going back and forth between teams, seeing how everyone is doing and giving advice if asked.

This is SO much fun for all of us! Even if a person doesn't like their new room, the results and experience have always been good. We often take a "before" and an "after" screen shot, so rooms could potentially be recreated. What I enjoy the most is watching the process of the people involved. It is very interesting to see how the kids (and sometimes adults) work together to create rooms they truly believe the room owner will love. They often base the rooms on what they feel the personality of the pet is, unless the room is a garden, bathroom, family/living/playroom, or kitchen.

We love Webkinz so much we're considering hosting a Webkinz party. This activity would definitely be on our "must do" list.

Preparing for a Vegan Thanksgiving

2007-11-08T00:04:00.000-07:00

With only two weeks until Thanksgiving, it isn't too early to start planning what you and your family are going to eat.

Yes, it is possible to have a filling, delicious, and fabulous Thanksgiving dinner that is vegan. My friends and family have been having one for years. We eat many traditional Thanksgiving foods, we just veganize the recipes. To me, Thanksgiving wouldn't be Thanksgiving without green bean casserole, stuffing, and a pecan pie. My husband and oldest daughter expect a pumpkin pie. We've learned (quite easily) how to make these foods healthier, tastier, and vegan.

veganize (Do Life Right's definition): To change a nonvegan recipe into a vegan recipe by substituting and/or replacing animal products with vegan items. Examples include using soy or rice milks instead of cow milks, using tofu instead of eggs, and using tempeh bacon instead of pig bacon.

Out of curiosity, I plugged "vegan Thanksgiving" into google.com and found hundred of recipes and how-tos on how to hold a vegan Thanksgiving meal. It isn't hard and it is humane. Consider checking your local vegetarian restaurants to see if any are serving a special meal. Lovin' Spoonfuls, in Tucson, is having their yearly "by reservation only" Thanksgiving dinner. Friendly Feast is also offering a class on how to cook a vegan Thanksgiving that satisfies everyone, including the meat eaters in your family. If you really want to have an easy meal, try buying a Tofurky kit.

Why do we not eat turkey? The better question is: Why would we?

For more information check out these great sites:

GentleThanksgiving.org (they have their own top 10 list)
GoVeg.com's Top 10 Reasons Not to Eat Turkeys

Webkinz "Helpfulness" and Censorship

2007-11-07T15:37:00.000-07:00

My daughters and I are HUGE Webkinz fans. We play on the Webkinz site every single day and we have quite a few pets. These little stuffed animals, and their virtual counterparts, are the best stuffed animals we've ever seen.

All that said, as a person with programming experience, I've been very disappointed with the Webkinz lack of testing. They keep putting out new and potentially exciting virtual products and games that don't work (for example, they just came out with "The Wheel of the Month" -- it never worked for anyone, from all reports). They've also become overly helpful to parents, to the point of being UNhelpful to all involved.

My older daughter had one of the cute Bullfrogs that she wanted to adopt. We were feeling a bit of time pressure to adopt this pet, since the Curio Shop was selling an extremely rare Egyptian item (and we needed the cash from an adoption in order to have enough money to buy it). [We've been building an Egyptian room for our black cat for quite a while now.] My daughter felt (and still feels) that the most perfect name in the world for this sweet little frog was Buttercup (named after "Princess Buttercup" from the awesome Princess Bride movie).

Webkinz, in their quest to save us from ourselves, wouldn't allow the beautiful name Buttercup to be used. It won't allow Butterscotch either (our dream dog name). See the theme? It actually took us a bit. Furthermore, this censorship has caused us to talk about "bad words" a lot more than we normally would. We especially couldn't figure out why our new gorgeous Library room wasn't allowed to be named "Library". Where's the naughty word in that name? We've figured it out, but it took a while... The room is now called the "Book Room" and here is a snapshot of it (my daughter and her friend made it earlier today). Of course, these are only guesses since Webkinz customer support never answers our questions...

Their customer support also leaves most users questioning whether or not it even exists. Their online FAQ and Customer Support within the Webkinz world only have trite answers that have never once been correct for the situations that we have e-mailed them about. I haven't found anyone IRL that has had one of their problems (NOTE: these are customers that are reporting actual bugs, not customers randomly complaining) answered or even acknowledged. It is offensive that they insist that we, the users, are doing something to cause problems when the problems are clearly that the test engineers haven't been given enough time to properly do their jobs. This makes me wonder just how many programmers and computer engineers Ganz has employed for the Webkinz project. Definitely not enough. We customers would much rather have a more stable and reliable game than all the new features and products that keep showing up. Isn't this always the case in software?

Why Vegan Body Products?

2007-11-06T03:11:00.000-07:00

I've had people say to me, "I get why you eat a vegan diet and I am against animal testing. However, I don't understand why you won't buy shampoos and lip balms, etc. that contain animal ingredients."

Simple answer: Do you know exactly what those animal ingredients are? If you did, you just might not want to put them on your body, either (especially lipsticks and lip balms since so much of them can be swallowed!). Here is a more simple list of common animal ingredients in cosmetics.

Next time you are in your shower, read the ingredients in your shampoo. It's a lot like reading the nutritional information on food. If you don't know what something is, it's probably not good for you. Look up the mysterious ingredients on labels before you buy the product. [I've found that an easily portable digital camera can help with documenting what ingredients are in a product.]

Makeup, lotions, and body cleansing products often have a variety of animal derived products in them. Why should this concern you? Did you know that, similar to food, what you put ON your body is absorbed INTO your body? (That is sort of the point regarding lotions.) Do you want strange chemicals and animal parts to become part of who you are? Want to know if your products are deemed safe (even if they aren't vegan)? Look them up on Environmental Working Group's Skin Deep: Cosmetic Safety Database.

I like a good bath. I'm just careful to note what the ingredients are first! As I've mentioned before, Lush vegan bathbombs are my favorite. Vegan Freak has a nice list of companies listed here; check out their whole site, too!

And, of course, there is the issue of testing products ON animals as well. All vegan products do not use animals in any way, not for the product itself nor the testing. Here is an interesting list of Cruelty Free Companies, and here is a great new way to be certified as a vegan product.

When it comes to buying products that go in or on my body, my basic motto is "When in doubt, throw it out."

Solar Houses

2007-11-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, my family and I have been planning on building a house for about four years now. We started seriously planning the house (and where to put it) in early 2004. We purchased our land in August 2004. Our biggest holdup is that our county has very tough requirements on building a nontraditional "green" house. This is changing, but it has been an excruciatingly slow process.

We are building a Natural Spaces dome that we've named Desierto Cúpula. My update on the house has not changed in nearly a year, since there is very little more to report even though we (and our local architect) have been working diligently on the project. Our plan is to get permits before the end of this year so that the house can be completed in early 2008.

In an ideal world, using solar power, wind power, or any alternative (yet better for the environment) energy source would be easy to do. In Southern Arizona, where we live, it is not. This is very unfortunate since we have over 300 sunny days every year. The costs are significantly more and the incentives just aren't here yet. Government officials, such as U. S. Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, are working on this, but they have a long way to go to get to the standard that we need to be at as a country. Please support your local politicians that are supporting alternative energy!

Contests such as the "Solar Decathlon" will help, too. But, note that the houses built for this competition are in the $500,000-$1million range (which is an unrealistic housing amount for the vast majority of home owners in the United States of America).

There are also many great programs, such as the Citizenrē REnU program. Unfortunately, my family and our project do not qualify for this program, but please check it out to see if you and your house do!

Be Joe

2007-11-04T23:21:00.000-07:00

There are certain days in my life that stand out strong in my memory. One of these days is the first time I saw Joe Versus the Volcano. This Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan classic is one of my family's all time favorites. It is inspirational in ways that few other movies or books are. It's not sad, sappy, or cruel. It has so many quotable lines that we often find ourselves saying lines from this movie and randomly singing lines from some of the songs. Joe's circumstances show us how any ordinary person can pick up their life and become the best that they can be (much like Do Life Right's mission statement). All anyone has to do is decide to have the life they want. Everything we ever need and want is available to us, we just have to believe it and grab it.

If you want to be reminded to WAKE UP and LIVE NOW, Joe Versus the Volcano is the movie for you. Whenever we're feeling like life is rough, or otherwise needing inspiration, we pull out this movie and become Joe for a while.

Pleasure Writing -- The World of Fiction

2007-11-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

Today is day 3 in the somewhat famous NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) experience. The goal of each participant is to write a minimum of 50,000 words (a novella) in the 30 days of November. This is my fifth year of participating and the second year that I've gotten a very late start (I haven't written a single word of fiction yet this month...). I do, however, intend to finish a rough manuscript before the end of the month.

Concerned how this can work? Check out Chris Baty's (the founder of NaNoWriMo) book: No Plot? No Problem!: A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days.

I spent the day at a writer's workshop, sponsored by RWA-Tucson, called "Discovering Story Magic". While the group was large (and the dynamic of the group discussion period would have been a lot more fun with less people), there was a lot of fantastic information passed along. If you have the opportunity to attend this workshop, I do recommend it. Our wonderfully special RWA chapter apparently came to a unique conclusion that none of the other "Discovering Story Magic" workshops have ever come to before. No spoilers from me. :)

If you have any desire to become a fiction writer, events such as NaNoWriMo are a fantastic way to get the momentum started. You might not come away with a best-seller at the end of the month, but you'll certainly be one step closer. Try participating in NaNoEdMo in March to edit your November masterpiece in a one month time period. A mere 50 hours counts as completion in this event, although most writers need significantly more to completely edit a novel.

Prefer writing a screenplay in a month? Check out Script Frenzy next June. This event has participants writing a 20,000 word screenplay in the one month time period. I've yet to participate in this, but I plan to at some point.

Think these are doable events? Feeling inspired? If you think you have it in you, you do. Have fun writing.

Day-to-Day Unschooling

2007-11-02T23:36:00.000-07:00

I'm often asked what my family does day in and day out as Unschoolers. I always pause before answering this question in order to determine what the questioner is actually asking. The thing is, there is no "typical day" in the life of this Unschooling family (or any that we've met). We don't wake up or go to sleep at a regular time, we don't sit at the kitchen table and "do school work" -- ever. We have weekly activities that we are involved in, but we don't require our children to go to those if they choose not to, either (they always do attend though, unless we are going out of town). Our children have very flexible lives and we all highly enjoy the freedom of unscheduled learning.

When a friend or family member asks me this question, I know that what they really want to know is what we've been up to lately, what we do for fun, what interests us, etc. So, I share all the fun things we've been doing. I tell them about the activities we've done, the science experiments, the art projects, the hiking, the outings, the important aspects of our lives. I share the fun of what it is like to be us. I enjoy telling people about this!

When a potential future Unschooling family asks me the "typical day" question, I like to refer them to Sandra Dodd's website, my own Do Life Right site, or a place like Unschooling Voices. As every child learns differently, every family has a different dynamic. When I was new to Unschooling, I highly enjoyed reading about the day-to-day living of other families. It helped me realize that we needed to follow our own rhythm. Thus, I encourage others to do the same.

Enjoy finding your own beat!

Our Vegan Halloween 2007

2007-11-01T22:25:00.000-07:00

I first wrote about "Vegan and Ethical Trick-or-Treating" in September. Here is an update.

We had an absolutely excellent Halloween! My oldest daughter dressed as a Borg (from Star Trek) and my youngest was an astronaut. Note the space theme. :)

We went to two parties: A Vegan one (a potluck), and a Homeschooler's one (with a mini-carnival atmosphere -- we had a "Candy Toss"). Both were very fun, in drastically different ways.

We went out Trick-or-Treating with a friend of my oldest daughter's (and her mom) for two hours last night. We hit 82 houses and filled two huge bags (and later a gigantic bowl) with candy. After sorting the candy out, we estimated that a good 50% of the loot we brought home was vegan (we're counting the non-food items in this figure). Of the non-vegan foods we received, at least 40% were vegetarian! For non-food items, we received: pencils, yo-yos, and a toy watch. We were quite impressed. The biggest disappointment was finding that Nerds now have crushed beetles in them.

What are our plans for the non-vegan candy? First we'll give some to non-vegetarian friends (which is just about everyone we know), then we'll either use the rest for Gingerbread house decorating or take to my husband's office. We don't encourage food waste and never throw away foods that are still edible (we take non-vegan food presents to food banks and other food donation sites, or give to friends). While we, personally, won't eat the non-vegan foods, we feel that the animals the foods are made out of are best served by not getting thrown away. Our Halloween candy is much better off in the hands of people that were going to eat those foods anyway, rather than in a dumpster.

On a different fun note, today is the first day of November, so adopt your Webkinz black bear this month (the black bear is November's "Webkinz Pet of the Month"). We adopted two today (a girl named "Juniper" and a girl named "Ursa"). Our special gifts were the coveted Flying Saucer and the really exciting donut seed. We can't wait to harvest our very own farm fresh donuts. Of course, ours are vegan. :) Prepackaged vegan donuts can be purchased here.

Vegan Recipe Websites

2007-10-31T17:24:00.000-07:00

I've been asked for my favorite sites with great vegan recipes. Here they are:

Fatfree Vegan Site
McDougall Recipes (you have to use their search to find specific recipes in their archives)
Fatfree.com Site (both vegetarian and vegan recipes)
Vegweb.com site (both vegetarian and vegan recipes)

However, when I really want to make a particular meal (and don't already know how), one of the first things I do is go to Google and type in "Vegan" and whatever the meal is (I also often add "lowfat" or "fat free" to my search). I've read a variety of awesome advice this way, including finding tips and suggestions on how to prepare various foods (like tofu, which I originally hated and now love since I know how to use it correctly).

Most vegans I know still use all of their regular cookbooks. They just veganize the recipes.

I also often use premade ingredients, such as jarred pasta sauce and Boca products. Here is an example of a super easy "Vegan Chicken Parmesan" I made last week (we cut out a piece so the layers could be seen):

2 packages Boca "Chicken" Patties
1 jar of your favorite fatfree vegan pasta sauce
2-3 chopped tomatoes (optional)
1/2 chopped onion (optional)
misc. chopped up veggies (optional)
1 package of WHOLE WHEAT pasta (I used spaghetti here)
1 package vegan Mozzarella cheese (shred for best results)
few sprinkles of vegan Parmesan cheese
sprinkle of your favorite spice (we used oregano)

Cook pasta as directed, heat patties in oven (not necessary, but I like them very crisp). Assemble in this order: pasta, sauce, veggies, patties, vegan Mozzarella, vegan Parmesan, spices. Bake at 400F or so for about 30 minutes. Actual preparing time is very minimal (less than 5 minutes, not counting boiling time). Makes 8 servings, tastes delicious, and is only 5 Weight Watchers POINTS per serving.

Wonder Falling

2007-10-30T01:35:00.000-07:00

Ever notice the intense wonder in a young child's eyes? Wonder why the older children and adults you meet don't have it any more? I've spent a lot of time wondering about this very thing. When my first daughter was a baby, I wanted her to keep this sense of pure amazement as long as possible. I didn't ever want her to lose it. I loved that wide-eyed look of pure joy in her eyes. I wanted it, too.

My kids still have this wonderment and I'm gaining it again -- more and more every day. The conscious decision to not let it disappear has helped stop me in my tracks every time I've almost taken some of it away from my children.

I believe, and it has been shown to me many times, that well meaning parents and teachers are to blame for knocking this wonderment about life out of their children. Every time a parent or teacher teaches a child a "life lesson", sparkles of joy leave that person -- usually for ever. These "life lessons" are almost unequivocally never taught to people in any other way. What I mean by this is that these lessons aren't real life and in real life, they aren't found. If, perchance, they are -- the person living it will certainly learn the "lesson" very quickly. It need not have ever been taught. I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty for your past behavior. I'm saying this in order to give you hope that all happiness can be regained if you desire it to be!

I love this quote from Radical Parenting:
"Most of the psychotherapy I have done with people has been to help them get over the damage they suffered from parents/teachers preparing them for life."

It is our obligation to the future generations of this world to be the very best parents we can be. Who cares how you were raised! You still have it in you to be an excellent parent. I believe everyone does. Don't blame the people that raised you for your own failings. Decide to change them now and make a commitment to not pass them to your children. Spankings and put-downs are not hereditary. You have the power to not perpetuate poor parenting.

As an Unschooling Mom, I vowed to never stop appreciating the wonder in my children's eyes. I see it in them every day. Yes, EVERY day. They've given me my spark back -- it is the best gift ever. Sometimes I feel as though I am walking around in a wonderful daze of pure joy. This world is astounding, interesting, and superbly amazing. When was the last time you felt that way? It isn't too late. Try playing with a young child -- on their level -- for a few hours. It is inspiring to become fascinated with every little thing in your surroundings again. Getting lost in the wonder of it all, whilst sharing the time with a child, is one of life's greatest pleasures. Look closely at things. Even the dirt on your floor is pretty interesting up close and personal. Pretend, if you have to, that you've never seen that exact thing ever before. Notice the beauty of it. It doesn't have to be a thing of nature, it could be a plastic toy or a bite of food.

Find your WONDER! Enjoy its peace.

Kitt Peak and Tohono O'odham Diet

2007-10-29T13:02:00.000-07:00

My family and I spent yesterday afternoon exploring Kitt Peak and the Tohono O'odham reservation area (just west of Tucson, Arizona). It is GORGEOUS there! This is not to be underrated. It didn't hurt that the weather was perfect (although it usually is with its 300+ sunny days per year), of course, but the photographs of the area in inclement weather proved that it is spectacular then, too.

My children are incredibly interested in space. They were delighted to see the telescopes at Kitt Peak. With 26 huge telescopes in work, we were only able to see a couple up close and personal. I was the most fascinated to find out that there are currently 895 potentially dangerous meteors hurling themselves toward/near the Earth right now. It is amazing what all we can discover about space today. We loved hearing about the process in place for getting time on the telescopes for research. We can't wait to attend one of their overnight sessions that are open to the public (all attendants must now be 9 or older).

As a completely random and happy surprise, we saw a shocking and wonderful billboard in this Indian Nation. It read:
"Diabetes is Preventable"
with subtext stating that a change in diet is all that is necessary to rid people of the disease (I sadly did not get a photograph). I was VERY impressed with the message and the gorgeous vegetables on the sign! The Tohono O'odham people are taking back their health. They've discovered that the people in their nation that have changed from a native diet to a SAD (Standard American Diet) are falling prey to the wide variety of diseases that the rest of America is riddled with. Changing back to a diet high in vegetables, whole grains, and fruit completely reverses the diseases. Diabetes in particular has been proven to be completely preventable amongst the Tohono O'odham people, which is an amazing thing since eating a poor diet causes four times as many Native American people to develop diabetes as in the U.S. population at large. Before this study, between 50 and 75% of the Tohono O'odham people had diabetes. I look forward to hearing the new statistics as dietary changes are sweeping the area.

What is the most surprising to me in all of this information is not that it is true -- it definitely is; what surprises me is that this hasn't become common knowledge. This dietary information should be on the news and in the newspapers. This is the stuff that will change the world! Can you imagine a disease free world, or even just a world free of diabetes? It's a glorious thought.

Think you have to change your diet to a Tohono O'odham native diet of prickly pear pads, chia seeds, tepary bean, and other Sonoran Desert plants? You don't. I live here and I have no idea how to prepare any of these plants (although I'd like to learn). Any lowfat whole foods vegan diet will work in the prevention and reversal of diabetes. Native people around the entire globe have been showing us their healthy diets -- all will work at keeping all people disease free. It isn't until a group of people change their diet to include huge amounts of meat and/or dairy that they develop the killing diseases of today (like heart disease and diabetes). Try one style of food and stick to it only, or mix it up from day to day. You don't have to have a boring, uninteresting, tasteless or difficult diet in order to eat healthy.

Here are a couple of of the many sites that talk more about this tremendous information, with specific information regarding diet and the Tohono O'odham people:
TOCA: Tohono O'odham Community Action
CBS News: 60 Minutes: "Why is America So Fat?"
W.K. Kellogg Foundation: "Fighting Diabetes with Native Foods"

I left the Tohono O'odham Nation with a sense of peace. It is a beautiful nation with amazingly beautiful people that are talented, artistic (their baskets are amazing!), and intelligent. Their culture is strong with a rich and and fascinating history. I can't wait to learn more.

Writing Truth

2007-10-28T00:26:00.000-07:00

"If a writer is so cautious that he never writes anything that cannot be criticized, he will never be able to write anything that can be read.
If you want to help other people, you have got to make up your mind to write things that some men will condemn."
From Echoing Silence: Thomas Merton on the Vocation of Writing,
Edited by Robert Inchausti.

I've been asked why I am so blunt, why I tell the truth, why I can't handhold people into learning a better way to live. If one cannot be blunt, especially when so well researched, truth rarely comes out. I am honest. I am truthful. Truth can change as perception changes, but honesty never can. I may change my views on everything tomorrow (I'd honestly be shocked if this happened!), but I'd be honest with it and explain the reasoning behind my sudden changes. If I am not completely and utterly honest with my words today, then I wouldn't want anyone to believe anything I say tomorrow -- even if my words become what others want to hear. Life is short, if we don't become better people each and every day, we become stagnate and wilted. If others before me hadn't had the strength to tell me their truths, I wouldn't be where I am today.

I live in a country, the United States of America, that cherishes the idea of free speech. Check out the First Amendment. Our ancestors fought for this privilege, yet thousands are unduly ridiculed and chastised every day due to the words that they say and pen. The founders of my country would be appalled.

I am a writer. I was reminded yesterday that I should write what I know. I know this deep in my soul, yet it is when I bare the most honest truths of my existence and experience, when I open myself up the most with my truthful honesty, it is then that I am condemned the most. I am told that I am not telling the truth, not saying how things really are. There is no other way for me to show my truthfulness than to show the realities of my own life.

Here and in my fiction, I will persevere and continue to tell the truth. I may never be published in the manner that I desire, but I will know that I never faltered from being myself. Ultimately, it is the only gift I have to give this world.

This is me. This is my life. My writing is my truth. Enjoy and may you be empowered to live the best life that you have in you while I live the best life that I have in me. This is me:

"Meanest Mom in the Whole Wide World"

2007-10-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that there is a rather large group of women in the world that are proud of the fact their children consider them to be the "Meanest Mom in the Whole Wide World". So proud, in fact, that their goal for their children is for them to become mean parents, also. (I've actually heard mothers bragging about this with other mothers!) These women are bigger lizards than the one above. [The one above is actually one of our quite cute friends here in the Sonoran Desert -- no worries about her future, she's a great mom.] Hate me for telling you this, but please love your children and stop bragging about being mean. Your children do hear you say these horrific words.

Please concentrate on being the nicest and most giving and loving parent in the world. Say yes to your children next time they ask to do something you would normally say no to. Do you really consider what they are asking to be dangerous? Then do it with them (even if it isn't dangerous, you should seriously consider doing it with them). Talk about the activity before you do it, while you are doing it, and after you did it. Was it really so horrible? Did your children come to the same conclusions as you? Why? Why not? Did you get to know your child better? Did he get to know you better? Seriously -- Ask yourself these questions! Would you rather that your child do these things behind your back in a sneaky way, or happily with you right there?

Go watch that movie or play that video game right next to your child! You might find that your world expands from the new experience it brings you. I wouldn't be surprised if you get a hug, a kiss, or at least a thank you. If you're lucky, you'll hear, "You are the best Mom ever." And, you'll know you can trust them, since they'll know they can trust you. Trust is the only way to have an open and honest and REAL relationship. Building a trustworthy relationship is totally worth it, too.

Healthy and Hearty School Lunch Choices Needed

2007-10-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

When I was a child, I was taught the four basic food groups (the Meat Group, the Dairy Group, the Fruit and Vegetable Group, and the Cereals and Grains Group). Seems as though the Federal Health Guidelines haven't changed very much. Public and private school children are still being fed an unhealthy diet that causes diseases, although it is now officially called "The Food Pyramid". The USDA still calls what should be called the Calcium category, the "Milk" group. Even more shocking is that even their mediocre recommendations aren't being met by a huge percentage of schools. Their details on their "Dietary Guidelines for Americans" should be researched better and should be replaced with PCRM's "The New Four Food Groups" (Fruit, Legumes, Whole Grains, Vegetables); PCRM's easy to read illustrated handout can be found here. Our schools should be required to live up to PCRM's standards, with severe penalties for noncompliance. The present and future health of our nation is dependent on them.

The Hawkeye (a Burlington, Iowa, newspaper) had an article last week about a vegetarian high school senior that is not being offered proper vegan options for her daily school lunch (plain iceberg lettuce is NOT a good option). This reminded me, again, of the changes that need to be made in the quality of foods that are served to the youth of America. Dietary guidelines should be based on actual researched and proven facts, not on old wives' tales from decades ago.

Diet directly affects learning. We should be giving our children the very best foods, not the second rate foods that the schools are cooking. While as an Unschooler I don't believe in testing children as an accurate indicator of their true knowledge, I still find the results of diet on actual learning to be astounding.

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine has this recent news release on the school lunch program. The "report card" made for various schools regarding the actual healthiness of the foods that they offer to their students is very enlightening!

What can you do? Demand that your children are being offered healthy food choices. Stand up for their health. Write to your state representatives. Don't support the school lunch program until it is changed. Pack your children's lunches every day. Be aware of your own diet and talk to your children about your own food choices. You could even ultimately make the same decision as my family made and keep your children home.

My Food Gave Me Headaches

2007-10-25T00:29:00.000-07:00

Dr. McDougall is famous for saying, "Sick people take medicine. Healthy people don't take medicine."

I LOVE THIS! It was an epiphany for me the first time I read it. Astounding! Did this mean that I shouldn't be taking regular over the counter headache medicines, as well as vitamins and prescription drugs? Yes. Any and all pills and liquid medicines are drugs. I didn't want to be a sick person any longer. I didn't want to be a person that needed drugs to get by any longer. I wanted to be a healthy person -- then and forever.

The biggest step for becoming a healthy person was changing my diet. I did it as a trial; I was a skeptic. I'd read that minimal results could be seen in a mere three days, and major results could be seen in two to three weeks. I didn't think it would work, but I was desperate to feel good and willing to try just about anything. (I'd already tried dozens of other lifestyle and diet changes over the years. They either minimally improved my health temporarily, or had no visible effect on my health.) After only three days of being dairy-free, I was headache free, acne free, and free from the severe stomach and intestinal woes that had previously plagued me daily since I was very young. I had never, ever before felt so healthy before in my entire life -- ever. It was a shocking surprise!

No doctor in real life (of the dozens that I had went to) had ever told me that my health was directly related to the foods that I consumed. I'd asked, too. I was told time and time again that there was no correlation whatsoever. It wasn't until I was learning how to take back my own health (by doing my own research) that I found out that medical doctors receive less than three hours of nutrition education in their entire schooling (many receive less than one hour). Three hours! I'd already studied for probably a thousand hours or more on nutrition, yet my doctor had less than three behind her? How was this possible?

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine is working on changing this shocking fact. They have created an absolutely amazing book, the "Nutrition Guide for Clinicians" that they are giving out FOR FREE to all medical students in the United States. Contact PCRM for more details on how to support this huge undertaking.

Oh, and my headaches (migraines, actually): they're gone. Dairy was the cause of my migraines! Be forewarned that even the tiniest slightest bit of animal products in your diet can cause severe body reactions such as migraines. Check your foods (even the soy products and cereals); there might be hidden animal ingredients in them. Read here for specific details on how to eliminate migraines from your life. I dream of the day when all people can live the pain free, healthy life, that I believe all people are meant to live.

Talk to Strangers -- I dare you not to

2007-10-24T00:53:00.000-07:00

"Don't talk to strangers." I hear the parents at the park telling their children again.

I've never said this phrase to my kids. I have, OTOH, modeled talking to strangers thousands of times. Every new person we meet is a stranger. Every waitress, every pilot, every dance class teacher, every other parent in a playgroup, even every doctor we meet for the first time is a stranger... *YOU* are most likely a stranger to me, yet you just might be a person that comes into my life and stays for a very long time. I'm always on the lookout for interesting people. My kids are always on the lookout for people with common interests. If we see a person in a store looking at an item that we are interested in, one of us just might start talking to that person. If we see a family at a park playing on the playground equipment, we almost always say "hi".

I don't believe in "Stranger Danger". I do, however, believe strongly in modeling communication with other people of all ages in front of my children. Part of that includes knowing to trust your instincts. My children and I honor our gut reactions. We don't stay around people that feel dangerous to us, no matter who they are. They know when to hold my hand and when it is safe to run and play. They trust themselves and they trust me. My husband and I trust them. We model not getting ourselves into dangerous situations (we TALK-TALK-TALK about this -- especially when traveling) and most importantly, we model how to get out of dangerous situations as quickly and efficiently as possible. So far, this has always worked quite well.

I should also mention here that we also have never forced our children to hug, kiss, or otherwise show affection or talk to anyone that they weren't comfortable with. Sure this can cause relatives to have hurt feelings, but I would never sacrifice my children's natural instinctive knowledge by forcing them to hug a friend or relative that they didn't want to hug. Forcing someone to do this is very dangerous and makes children start to not trust themselves. Any adult friend or relative that doesn't understand this doesn't need to be around my children. (I always politely explain this philosophy and rarely have had problems once I've explained our reasoning.)

The key point here is an Unschooling point: Our children have never been in a situation without me, my husband, or someone that we ALL trust completely. Some day, sooner than we'd like, our children will be all grown up and on their own. I strongly believe that they'll have to interact with strangers on a regular basis, probably most days of their lives. I want them to gain the knowledge of how to do this safely and politely before they are out on their own. They might even have to talk with strangers on the telephone! It is good that they are watching us, learning how to talk with people now. I'd hate for them to not learn how to talk to people until they turn 18.

Think I am insane and not "protecting" my children? Try reading Gavin De Becker's "Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)" or his "Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence". These books can help parents learn how to relearn how to trust their own natural instincts and how to not squash these instincts out of their children. There is nothing more peaceful than feeling safe.