You either order with us or against us......

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13711615.post-17977166303611711032008-01-21T09:07:00.000-08:002008-01-30T13:09:32.065-08:00You either order with us or against us......“May I have your order?”“Yes I’d like five pieces of grilled chicken and a pint of coleslaw.”“You want a large or a small?”<?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p></o:p>“Umm…. A small or a large what?”“Coleslaw.”<o:p></o:p>“I want a pint of coleslaw.”<o:p></o:p>“Do you want a large or a small pint?”<o:p></o:p>“Uh…. I want a pint. You know, 16 ounces of coleslaw.”<o:p></o:p>“We don’t have ounces. We have small and a large.”“How big is the large?”“Pretty big.”“HOW BIG???”<o:p></o:p>“It’s large.”<o:p></o:p>(I knew at this point I may be talking to the future president of the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 /><st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">United States</st1:place></st1:country-region>.)<o:p></o:p>“Do you want something to drink with that?”<o:p></o:p>“Can you read my order back to me please?”<o:p></o:p>“You want five pieces of chicken and a small macaroni and cheese?”<o:p></o:p>“I <st1:stockticker st="on">DON</st1:stockticker>’T WANT MACARONI <st1:stockticker st="on">AND</st1:stockticker> CHEESE!!!! I WANT A PINT OF COLESLAW!!!!”<o:p></o:p>“Let me get my shift manager.”<o:p></o:p>“What seems to be the problem?”<o:p></o:p>“No problem, I’d like five pieces of grilled chicken and a pint of coleslaw.”"He told you we don’t have pints sir. We have a small and a large. Now you’re holding up the line sir. I suggest you order or leave.”<o:p></o:p>(Ahhh…. The future secretary of defense.)<o:p></o:p>“Okay I’ll leave, but let me ask you one more question. How many ounces in a pint?”<o:p></o:p>“What has that got to do with chicken sir? Do you want a pint of chicken?”<o:p></o:p>“I don’t want a pint of chicken. I want a pint of coleslaw“We don’t have pints.”<o:p></o:p>“Okay let me educate you. There are 16 ounces in a pint. How many ounces in a large coleslaw?”<o:p></o:p>“I’m going to ask you again to leave sir.”<o:p></o:p>“HONK HONK HONK. Come on asshole order!”<o:p></o:p>(Great…. The future vice president is behind me.)<o:p></o:p>So I left. It wasn’t like I could eat the chicken or the coleslaw anyway. I’m sure they would have graced it with a little something extra for me.<o:p></o:p>I guess the older you get the more you embrace the “principle of the thing”.Once you’ve had a colonoscopy you’ve pretty much reached that point in life where you’re opinions and thoughts are irrelevant.<o:p></o:p>Unless of course you’re married and then you’re opinions and thoughts become irrelevant on day two.<o:p></o:p>So you grasp at any little chance to prove a point or show the world that, “Hey! I’ve been around fifty years! I know stuff.”<o:p></o:p><o:p></o:p>And one of the things I now know is maybe… just maybe…. We need to leave the occasional child behind.Comedian Ron White says, “You can’t fix stupid.” But shouldn’t we at least try? <o:p></o:p>Or are we destined to be a nation of illiterates placated by our Xboxes and Playstations and Bluetooths and iPods and and and and………<o:p></o:p>How can you not know what a “pint” is?<o:p></o:p>It’s not like the kid was brainwashed by the metric system.Maybe I have finally turned into my father.<o:p></o:p>I wonder how many people in their twenties have actually read a book.<o:p></o:p>How many have read anything other than e-mail or a text message in the last five years?“No Child Left Behind”?<o:p></o:p>Why not?<o:p></o:p>Fix stupid before it gets a chance to screw up your drive thru order.A small or a large "pint"? Ma please!Shrinking Wophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17371307652329992340noreply@blogger.com