Strangers in Kenya

How's your holiday spirit?

2009-12-31T01:05:00.004+03:00

It's been nice attending services here in California the past few weeks. Don't get me wrong--I love speaking and sharing. But it's a nice change of pace to simply worship from the pews. The last church I spoke at in Pennsylvania was on December 13. If you were there, you'll remember that I shared my key verse for the holiday season--James 1:19. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." I'm glad I chose that verse, because in all of the stress and intensity of the primarily joyful holiday season, it's really bailed me out a few times. I'm grateful that the Lord used these words to remind me and encourage me when my sinful nature felt like being slow to listen and quick to speak and become angry.

I definitely have a lot of growing to do this next year, and I just need to remember that I'm not in this thing alone. The spirit of Christ is in me every day of the year.

Moses, part 3

2009-12-23T05:08:00.000+03:00

When people utter things like “you never know when you’ll go” and “life is fleeting,” nobody really believes them. Human beings are frequently amnesiac about their own mortality. Moses’ death, however, brought me face-to-face with that reality. And in view of eternity—an eternity with God in heaven for those who choose Jesus and an eternity separated from God in hell for those who rely on their own strength—I consider my relationship with Moses an epic failure.

Sure, I don’t actually know his spiritual state at death. I don’t know him well enough to know if his choices were in the direction of life and God or of death and destruction. Only God knows the true state of anyone’s heart. But from the indications I’d seen, this is man who did not know the Lord.

I had open doors to share more about Jesus with this man, and yet I failed to make eternal truth a priority. Instead, I took care of hundreds of errands and enjoyed time with my wife and kids in the city each time I traveled close to Moses. Multiple trips passed, months passed, and yet I never did my part.

As I drove home from Nairobi that evening, tears frequently hit me as I thought of his tragic ending and my selfish failure as God’s tool.

I picked up the phone and called a family member that night. I told this person about Moses’ death, and I told this person about salvation and heaven and a relationship with Christ. I told this person what I hadn’t said face-to-face in all of my dozen years as a Christian. I don’t know the effect of that conversation and may never know it here on earth. But I know that I shared the most important truth you can share with a loved one. And I know that I made the simple truth of the Bible, truth that can get muddled or glossed over in church, known to this person: God wants to forgive you if you’ll admit that you were wrong.

That’s all we’re asked to do. Love God. Love others. Time is short, and no chance to love should be put off until tomorrow.

Moses, part 2

2009-12-21T05:06:00.000+03:00

My wife is an amateur hair stylist. She cuts our boys hair and has taken a few whacks at mine in the past. Of course, I’m a much more picky and fussy customer than our children, and so it wasn’t unusual for my haircuts to take 90 minutes or so for her to appease my vanity. After numerous cuts, we finally decided that for the good of our marriage I should probably just go to a professional in Nairobi.

I found a young man named Moses at an outdoor mall and began to employ him every other month or so. Over time our relationship grew. We had a lot in common, and eventually I shared my testimony of how God changed my life. He was open to spiritual things, so one day I found him in between haircuts and gave him Rick Warren’s The Purpose-Driven Life. He was excited to receive a hardback book and told me he would read it.

At my next haircut, Moses enthusiastically told me that he had read it already. I was amazed. I told him we should get together and talk about the book. I hoped to see if Moses had given his life to the Lord or if perhaps I could help him take steps in that direction. We didn’t set up an appointment.

The next time I got my haircut (another six weeks or so had passed) we talked about getting together again. And again, I felt a burden to sit down with Moses and talk about Jesus, partially because of the alcohol I smelled on his breath as he cut. A man who reeks of liquor at mid-day probably isn’t experiencing the free and joyful life Christ intended for him. However, our trips into Nairobi are usually so busy (as we do a months worth of errands at a time) that the meeting was never set.

Another few weeks passed and I went to the shop where Moses worked. I called Moses early in the morning to ask him when he could see me for my hair. A relative answered his phone and proceeded to tell me a shocking story. Moses had died a week earlier in a house fire.

I went into the shop to talk with his co-workers, to grieve with them, and to learn more of his story. He had fallen asleep with candles burning in his one room apartment and the curtains caught fire. Fortunately, his wife and son were sleeping at her parents’ house that evening.

I'll finish the story on Friday.

Moses, part 1

2009-12-19T05:02:00.000+03:00

When we were at the National Youth Workers Convention in early November, I attended a seminar on “Reinventing Gathering” by Mark Novelli, a mega-church youth pastor who learned some hard lessons about running a program. One of the observations he made is that youth today have a blurred line between private and public information. MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter have brought about a culture where kids will share their deepest emotions among hundreds of acquaintances on the Internet but can’t share anything of import amongst each other face-to-face.

The “public versus private” debate is one I’ve tangled up in as a blogger and author. If communication isn’t authentic and honest, my writing will lose its potency. On the other hand, how much should I share about the thoughts and words of my wife and kids? Where do I draw the line between exposing too much of my own thoughts and hiding the real “me” from readers?

Earlier this year, I experienced something that I have been unable to share until now. It was an event so personal and spiritual that I felt baffled about how to write about it. I feel sufficiently distanced from the event now to try and bring this private story public.

More on Wednesday.

My take on Tiger

2009-12-13T23:27:00.000+03:00

“Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.” Psalm 85:10

I cracked open my Bible this morning and read this verse. God knew what I needed.

I’ve been really upset the past few days about the Tiger Woods situation. I know it seems pretty random to be disturbed significantly about celebrity gossip, especially when that celebrity isn’t one I’ve necessarily adored or followed through the years. I hate golf and I’m not a subscriber to Us or People magazines. Yet, I’m profoundly saddened by what has been revealed over the past week.

In this age of reality TV, the best stories are the one’s that unfold before our eyes in the lives of our cultural icons. Tiger’s “transgressions” therefore are a box-office hit. While we crave stories to entertain us and teach us about life, the stories that are real impact us a thousand times more than a fictitious telling on the stage or screen.

Some of us may lament for Tiger as the tragic hero whose fatal flaw has caused him grief and personal destruction. Others may take a less serious approach and joke about his dalliances as if Tiger’s story were really just a comedy where the joker is caught with his pants down on stage. I think the true impact, the one that a society cannot exactly put into words anymore, hits at the very fabric of marriage.

Gay marriage may be the rallying point for moralists everywhere, but the story of Tiger (not so much his individual sins but the hype and hoopla surrounding his crash and subsequent confessions) attacks the institution of marriage just as hard, I think. Here you have, in front of billions of souls worldwide, a man who, in a worldly sense, had everything. A drop-dead gorgeous wife and two beautiful children, more money than he could ever spend, and expertise in his fame-drenched profession. But despite all that Tiger had, there was something he didn’t have. Contentment.

Sadly enough, discontentment among married people often expresses itself in affairs. The lie is that a different partner will bring pleasure, excitement, and adventure, and perhaps those will lead to contentment. But it never comes. Yet that message is never clearly portrayed in the “news” which is supposedly only interested in the facts of life. Although the media has intrusively interfered with this young marriage, it speaks on behalf of a relativistic society that claims no moral judgment may be interposed.

While society and I may not be allowed to judge, God is. Psalm 85:10 says that love and faithfulness are connected. While the news bombards us with stories of sin and unfaithfulness, we need to take notice—there is no love in this story. In Tiger’s marriage, in Tiger’s sexual affairs, love is absent. If we try to permit whole and perfect love into any part of this story, we’re twisting things. This story of unfaithfulness is not a story of love.

I point this out because every time we hear about this story, we think about lust and infidelity—the very enemies of married love. Men and women who aren’t diligent with their thoughts and beliefs, therefore, will welcome their enemies inside, perhaps daydreaming for just a few minutes about a secretive affair or the excitement of forbidden sex. If we compare ourselves to Tiger and Elin—who aren’t content with life—then surely we will be able to find discontentment and ingratitude in our own lives. This is the true, underlying message of every news story released about Tiger, not that affairs cause destruction but that we all have something to be discontent about. I’m troubled by the destruction that follows when discontentment grows.

Tiger Woods sure doesn’t have much peace these days. Sure, none of us know him personally, but it’s not hard to imagine what must be going on inside of him and inside his family. Sad stuff, but not surprising. Peace doesn’t kiss unrighteousness, as Psalm 85:10 says. Peace comes to those who fight to do what is right, and inside of marriage, faithfulness and contentment are God’s absolute commands for loving our spouses.

Our house and our history

2009-12-07T00:37:00.001+03:00

Raise your hand if your first ancestor to America is buried in your front yard.

Hmm, no hands. Wait, is that one in the back? No. Just scratching her head.

Well, my hand is indeed up. The picture above is of Joseph Murphy’s tombstone, the first Murphy born on American soil. His father (also Joseph) emigrated from Ireland in 1794 and three years later had a son. Together with wife Alice, Joseph lived his life in Brogue (a few hundred yards from where he was buried) and was a founding member of New Harmony Presbyterian Church. From there, every generation for over 150 years has had a Murphy on the membership roll.

Now, his great-great-great grandson is living on the church property of the church he helped start. That’s cool enough, if you ask me, but there’s another cool connection. Both my great-grandfather and my grandfather were married in this house. It used to be custom for young couples to pay a small fee to have the minister marry them in his home (with his wife as the witness). According to another local pastor, the tradition morphed into the enormous church wedding ceremony we know today when footage and pictures of Queen Elizabeth’s wedding in 1947 convinced every Western woman that the fairy tale could indeed be hers too.

We have been incredibly blessed these past months to live here in the New Harmony manse, but our gratitude doesn’t just stop with these generous people of today. We’re also grateful for the heritage of faith passed down by men and women of God on both sides of our family.

Our manse is like a mansion

2009-12-04T00:04:00.000+03:00

For the past five months, we’ve been living in a manse. I had no idea what a manse was before I moved into one, so if you need further explanation, I’m happy to oblige.

A manse is a parsonage or pastor’s house according to the Presbyterian denomination. In days of yore, reverends usually lived on or next to church property. Nowadays, fewer and fewer pastors live like this, so the old houses are either sold or destroyed. New Harmony Church, in Brogue, PA, faced this crossroads in the early part of this century. The manse house next to their church (pictured above) was built in 1899, and its historical significance for this congregation was great. In the end, they decided to refurbish the house with two goals in mind—offices for pastor and secretary and temporary residence for missionaries.

In late 2006, the remodeling project was complete, thanks to hundreds of volunteer hours from the congregation and thousands of dollars of donations. While it was utilized as offices immediately, its second purpose (two bedrooms and one bathroom for missionaries) wasn’t realized for about two years. How we came to be the first residents is really a cool “hand of God” story.

Having grown up just 10 minutes north of the church, I had memories of this place from summer picnics and family reunions on my mother’s side. I also knew that my uncle, great-uncle, and grandfather attended the church. What I didn’t know was how deep my Murphy family history was at New Harmony (more on that tomorrow) or how a family inheritance paid for much of the renovation of the manse.

My grandpa Workinger (now in glory), who was known all over our county as a gifted tenor vocalist, had a close cousin who attended New Harmony. Cousin Walt and his wife didn’t have any children, and they intended for some of their inheritance to pass to my grandfather if they died before he did. Alas, Walt’s wife Hilda passed a few years after Grandpa Workinger, and so the full amount of their will came to New Harmony. Hilda was pleased to learn that her money (as well as others contributed by New Harmony members) would go towards the manse project. It’s fascinating to see how God orchestrated that “family” money to bless family members in ministry (and others outside of our family in the future of course).

Monday, I'll post the “other side” of my family connection to New Harmony.

Final thought on Heaven

2009-12-01T00:16:00.001+03:00

Like I said, Heaven is a life-changing book. If it's real and if all the Bible tells us about it is true, then we'll spend infinitely more time "there" than we will here on earth. It also makes sense that our thoughts and focus should be on "there" infinitely more than it is.

Alcorn relates this story: Florence Chadwick, a great swimmer who had already swam the English Channel, attempted to swim from Catalina Island to mainland California in 1952. It was a rainy, foggy day, and her mother encouraged her from the rescue boat for miles past her point of exhaustion. Yet, she quit less than a mile from the shore.

Afterwards, Chadwick said, "All I could see was the fog..I think if I could have seen the short, I would have made it."

Amidst life's fog, I pray that you will have a clear vision of what God has in store for you for eternity if you've put your faith in Jesus Christ. Heaven helped me.

More thoughts on Heaven

2009-11-29T00:48:00.001+03:00

One of the most common questions by Christians or seekers is "What will we do in heaven?" Play harps and sing all day?

Alcorn uses many, many references for this next group of ideas about what we will do in heaven.

Good works, run the universe, serve, continue using our unique giftings, create culture, sing, dance, tell stories, make music, laugh, and play are all strongly supported in scripture. The following aren't scriptural, but Alcorn argues, "Why couldn't these be possible?": sports, craftsmanship, trade, business, technology, machinery, travel, space travel, and time travel.

The main reason Alcorn says "YES!" to all of these possibilities is that the New Earth will be similar to the current (old) earth...only BETTER. He says that perhaps what we do on earth will only be like a hint or a flavor of the real thing that God has created in Heaven. His logic is "Why would Heaven be less complex and dynamic than earth?"

Thought Three

2009-11-27T00:34:00.000+03:00

Here are simply some of my favorite quotes from the book Heaven by Randy Alcorn.

"If you read history, you will find that the Christians who did most for the present worlds were just those who thought most of the next." -C.S. Lewis

"Aim at Heaven and you will get earth 'thrown in'; aim at earth and you will get neither." -C.S. Lewis

"In heaven we'll have all the time together we want. Right now there's kingdom work to be done." -a missionary commenting on whether or not she missed her family in America

"Rather than ignore our imagination, I believe we should fuel it with scripture." -Randy Alcorn

"God is creator, and he created us to be creators. Hence, what we create is an extension of God's creation. He accepts, embraces, and delights in our creation." -Randy Alcorn

"I believe our resurrection bodies will have adrenaline and the ability to feel. We take pleasure in exhilarating experiences not because of sin but because God wired us this way." -Randy Alcorn

Idea #2 from Heaven

2009-11-25T00:05:00.000+03:00

This next point has tons of scriptural references in the book...but I'm just going to summarize the concept. It's pretty mind-boggling.

When we die, we do go to heaven. But our existence in heaven won't be the same for eternity. Alcorn differentiates between these two experiences by calling our first state the "Intermediate Heaven" and the second state as the "New Earth." Once Christ returns, the dead in Christ will be given our resurrection bodies, and thus will begin our final eternal state on the New Earth. Heaven will literally come to earth with the return of Christ, and we will inhabit the earth in our immortal resurrected bodies for eternity.

A life-changing book

2009-11-23T22:35:00.000+03:00

Every few years I'll come across a book that shakes up the way I look at the world. As a teenager, it was Thoreau's Walden; his thoughts on spirituality and nature became mine. Having fully rejected the Christian faith, More Than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell forced me to reevaluate the historical accuracy of the Bible. Of course, the Bible is the best book ever written, so I can't leave that one off my list. (Pretty good author there. Maybe you've heard of him? God!) Then in college, Abba's Child by Brennan Manning taught me so much about God's unconditional love for broken people. As a young man, Wild at Heart by John Eldredge showed me what it means to be a man and gave me permission to live dangerously for God.

I think I've come across another book like this--Heaven by Randy Alcorn. I'm going to give you some of my favorite thoughts and quotes from it until you're fully convinced of its awesomeness and you go out and read it.

Idea #1: The idea of paradise when used in reference to heaven is closely reminiscent of the Garden of Eden. Alister McGrath said, "The idea of a walled garden...was the most powerful symbol of paradise available to the human imagination, mingling the images of the beauty of nature with the orderliness of human construction."

This is shocking to me because I never figured that human beings had anything to do with participating in either the Garden of Eden or heaven. But God has allowed us to participate with him in his work on earth, so why wouldn't he also make heaven a place where we contribute as well? Everything we do (on earth or later in heaven) comes from the abilities God gave us, but the result is something that has both our fingerprints on it as well as his. Paradise will be beautiful for its natural beauty and God's children's creativity.

Everything is amazing and no one is happy

2009-11-15T18:30:00.001+03:00

We went to the National Youth Workers Convention in Cincinatti, Ohio, two weeks ago, and so Heather and I are still digesting a lot of what we learned there. It's kind of an interesting time delay, though, as we have all of these vivid ideas about youth ministry but we're about 8 more months away from being back with the youth in Africa that we work with. I'm sharing some of the best thoughts over on my "Quote of the Day" blog, but I wanted to share this clip that one of our speakers used at the conference. His topic was youth and technology, and you'll see how that fits in to comedian Louis C. K.'s interview with Conan O'Brien.

I have two disclaimers though. One, he uses some foul language. Two, this generation is not the worst generation ever, as Louis states.

We were on Jay Leno last night

2009-11-10T22:18:00.004+03:00

While Jay might not have invited us as special guests on the show (yet), we are working our way up there. During his "Headlines" segment, he had the blurb from our local newspaper about our "Africa Night" event we did on October 18.

Re-defining a "Missionary Dinner"

My mom and step-dad called us at 10:15 completely flabbergasted. They told me the story about how we were on Jay Leno. I think I laughed for about an hour straight. I had no idea that our headline would be on there. I have no idea who submitted it to the show. Of course, the show didn't contact (nor will they) about having our picture and headline on the show. It was just one of those sudden crazy things.

We called friends and family on the West Coast immediately to let them know to tune in when it aired in their time zone. The Doughertys burned a copy to DVD for us, and David Wright captured it and put in on YouTube.

They say everyone has 15 minutes of fame, and this definitely counts towards ours. Fourteen minutes and forty seconds still awaiting us in our future.

Quote of the Day available again

2009-11-07T10:58:00.000+03:00

I took advantage of my uncle's high speed Internet this week and did two months worth of quotes.

Quote of the Day over on my Word Press blog

Web page update

2009-11-03T06:44:00.002+03:00

Lots of new picture albums. Ministry updates. Working links. I hope you can cancel your plans for the next two hours. This internet invention is addicting.

http://murphy.kijabe.org/Murphys_Website/Welcome.html

A complete evening

2009-10-27T18:20:00.000+03:00

To help the parents in attendance, Heather took the kids aside and gave them their own little Afria Night, complete with coloring book passports and "Look who's a missionary!" video.

Sharing from the heart

2009-10-25T18:16:00.000+03:00

Alex shared about the cultural impressions she got when visiting Tanzania. She also explained how financial support can make a huge difference in the church they support. I focused my message on the growth of Christianity around the world and the remaining challenges we face in missions.

More pictures from the weekend

2009-10-23T18:11:00.000+03:00

With over 50 friends and family in attendance, we had a great time talking beforehand. Our display table and books gave people a chance to learn about Africa on their own. We did notice a high number of purple shirts that evening. Is there something about Africa that makes people think purple? Hmmm.....

Africa Night

2009-10-21T17:26:00.004+03:00

Sunday night we had a huge event at the church I grew up in. Although we've been speaking all over the county (about a dozen churches in the past 3 months), we still have friend and family who haven't been able to hear our presentation. We wanted to create an event where they could come, and we could treat them to some African delicacies. The Witts, whose daughter has visited Tanzania, are instrumental in supporting a congregation in Africa, and they teamed up with us to put on AFRICA NIGHT. Here are some photos from the night. Randy and I are cooking up some stew and soup. My mom is getting ready to serve the desserts.

Worry-ful or Wonderful?

2009-10-07T00:34:00.003+03:00

I spent sleepless nights back in Africa wondering about what we’d do during our home assignment in America. Would we get jobs? Would our support drop? Where would we live? What would we drive? All kinds of questions surfaced as we headed into the great big unknown.

Now that we’re here, there’s still a twinge of anxiety about what will come next, what have we already accomplished. But it’s mostly settled.

While we’ve had very few substitute teaching jobs, we’ve found that our “non-9-to-5” hours are packed. Every evening involves Bible studies and small groups, which we both participate in and lead at times. We do get a few speaking engagements during the weekdays (me at a Christian school’s chapel and both of us at a mid-week women’s ministry), but most of our engagements happen Sunday morning. Some weeks we’re at two churches in one morning, either attending or preaching. I have been writing stories for the county newspaper every Friday night (5pm to 1am) about local football games. Those are our hard and fast commitments.

Another aspect of our “work” here is simply setting up meetings and speaking engagements. Since I haven’t lived in PA since 1996 (which was also before I was a Christian), all of these contacts I’m making are brand new. It’s been an amazing experience meeting dozens of new pastors and church leaders, but it’s also been a surprising amount of time involved organizing and preparing.

We’ve both been getting some computer training, which will hopefully save us time in the future. We’ve been spending as much time as possible with our family, trying to make up for four years of lost time. We’ve been enjoying Micah’s soccer games two nights a week. Good stuff all.

I’ve been writing regularly. In fact, I just got word last week that my new book will be published by Father’s Press. You can read about the topic of Winter Spring Summer Fall: Living and Lasting as a Missionary by clicking here.

I was worried that I’d fall apart without a strict bell schedule to arrange my days around, but God has been very good. He’s allowing us to minister to others and to be ministered to. He’s blessed us with a wonderful half-family (the rest is waiting their turn in San Diego) and every moment with them has been great. Our schedule is different, full, and blessed. And for that, I’m grateful. Not worried.

As they say in Africa, hakuna matata. I haven’t forgotten.

Childhood dreams

2009-09-14T05:36:00.002+03:00

Up until high school, I thought being a sports journalist would be the perfect career for me. Then, I joined the high school yearbook and found out I hated asking people questions I didn't know the answer to.

Nevertheless, I am getting a taste of what that career would be like right now. I'm covering high school football games for the local newspaper. It's fun and it's some extra income. You can read the online version by clicking this link.

First story

Empty Playgrounds

2009-09-11T22:29:00.001+03:00

When you are a parent of pre-schoolers, sometimes you lean on them to make the keenest observations. In our first weeks back in the United States, our two year old Asher brought an American truism to our attention as we zigzagged across Pennsylvania in our car. Every mile or so, he’d shout with exuberance, “Playground!”
Sometimes he was fishing for a chance to stop and play, but usually he was simply exercising his power of observation. I’d turn and look to find the structure, and, sure enough, there was another playground. After a while, the sheer number of playgrounds and parks in York County became overwhelming.
In Africa, finding food and clothing for your children is the highest priority, and so it’s rare to find a play structure anywhere. If you do, it’s probably there as a money-making enterprise.
Feeding and clothing children are meant to be the jobs of parents. Kenya however, the specific country where we’ve worked for the past four years, has an AIDS rate of about 5% among adults. Dying adults means orphaned children, and thousands of orphaned children are a burden on extended families and ultimately the country.
When you’re struggling with survival, concepts like “play” and “entertainment” are awfully foreign. It’s no surprise that my two year old hasn’t seen many play structures along the roadsides of Africa.
He may be shocked by little examples of American affluence like this, but I’m not. I’ve spent the last four year trying to grow accustomed to the dirt and the poverty and the disease of African life with little success. The luxuriousness of my home country always served as the norm for me; the squalor of Africa was unusual.
What I did find shocking, however, was the vacancy of American parks. Nearly every play structure we’ve driven past, colorful and shining in the summer sun, has been notoriously empty. Parks and playgrounds everywhere. Joyful, grateful children nowhere.
Perhaps this article could be an indictment on childhood fitness or community spirit or some other ailment of American culture. That’s not the biggest issue I see.
My question is “Who are all these parks for?” Why does every apartment complex, every borough, every township, and every house need a play structure?
Are they for the children? If so, the kids seem to be saying no thanks as they stay indoors.
Are they for our own sense of parental responsibility? Are we so paranoid about providing everything conceivable for our children that we’re overcompensating?
Are they for our own wallets? Property value assessment considers things like parks and recreation. Perhaps we build to excess with our common funds to bolster up our individual investments.
I don’t know. But as I transition between a culture that struggles to feed and clothe its children and a culture that builds beautiful unused and (dare I say) unneeded play structures, I have to feel a pang of sadness every time Asher yells out, “Playground!”

Yes!

2009-09-01T23:47:00.002+03:00

My last post asked the question "Am I really in America?"

As I've been driving around York County this week for job interviews, meetings with supporters and family members, and computer set-up help...I've eaten at least 1 meal every day that I've picked up at a drive thru window.

Yes, the answer is yes. I'm in America.

A podcast blitz is on...just in time for football kickoff! I released three new ones today. More to come later this week. Click on buttons to the right to subscribe or head to ALL THAT YOU CAN'T LEAVE BEHIND.

Am I really in America?

2009-08-20T00:25:00.003+03:00

In the "poor me, oh, look how I suffer" department for this week, listen to this.

We live across from a Verizon service office. We can't get Verizon internet because "all of the allotted accounts are taken for our service area." Verizon is the only Internet provider in this rural area of Pennsylvania.

Plan B...we're using our cell phone as a modem for our laptop. It's pretty slow. Not as slow as Africa, but pretty bad. Also, we can' get phone service inside the house, so we have to field all phone calls (and Internet usage) on the front porch.

The temperature has been in the 90's here with a heat index over 100 degrees. Oh, and there are farms all around and this is the season of the year that they spread pig manure.

I think I've given you enough sensory details now for you to understand why I'm asking the question...

Am I really in America?