To the People

I'd Take An Employee of The Month Award...

2009-11-20T10:06:00.003-05:00

People who smoke pot can win awards too!

This isn't the first time we've encountered this phenomenon...

Stimulus Not Just Saving Or Creating Jobs, It's Creating Whole New Congressional Districts

2009-11-17T08:44:00.002-05:00

This ABC News story has already been blogged a couple of places on the web, but it is too unbelievable for TtP to not jump on the bandwagon as well:

Here's a stimulus success story: In Arizona's 15th congressional district, 30 jobs have been saved or created with just $761,420 in federal stimulus spending. At least that's what the Web site set up by the Obama administration to track the $787 billion stimulus says.

There's one problem, though: There is no 15th congressional district in Arizona; the state has only eight districts.

And ABC News has found many more entries for projects like this in places that are incorrectly identified.

How is this happening? Well, let's just say the recipients aren't too careful about reporting on the money once they get it.

Late Monday, officials with the Recovery Board created to track the stimulus spending, said the mistakes in crediting nonexistent congressional districts were caused by human error.

"We report what the recipients submit to us," said Ed Pound, Communications Director for the Board.

Pound told ABC News the board receives declarations from the recipients - state governments, federal agencies and universities - of stimulus money about what program is being funded.

"Some recipients clearly don't know what congressional district they live in, so they appear to be just throwing in any number. We expected all along that recipients would make mistakes on jobs numbers, on award amounts, and so on. Human beings make mistakes," Pound said.

Here's an alternate theory: They funding recipients just making shit up and the jobs numbers they are providing aren't any more reliable than the other information. Oh, and one final thing:

The recovery.gov Web site was established as part of the stimulus bill "to foster greater accountability and transparency" in the use of the money spent through the stimulus program. The site is a well-funded enterprise; the General Services Administration updated it earlier this year with an $18 million grant.

If We're Starving How Come We Have Such Goddam Fat Asses?

2009-11-16T22:34:00.003-05:00

Shocking news in the Washington Post today. Children are starving - everywhere!

The nation's economic crisis has catapulted the number of Americans who lack enough food to the highest level since the government has been keeping track, according to a new federal report, which shows that nearly 50 million people -- including almost one child in four -- struggled last year to get enough to eat.

And this, of course, is a major, major problem, say people whose job it is to get federal money to fund their programs:

"This is unthinkable. It's like we are living in a Third World country," said Vicki Escarra, president of Feeding America, the largest organization representing food banks and other emergency food sources.

And sure enough, the Post reports that the Obama administration is pumping $85 million more tax dollars into subsidized food programs.

I, on the other hand, being the insensitive, uncaring prick that I am, thought: "If the poor are starving, then how come every one I see has a Michelin-size spare tire around their gut? Riddle me that, Batman."

So I re-read the story paying close attention for any statistic that would show how the hunger is really hurting people. Are hospitals reporting more children being delivered with low birth weights? Are schools reporting students being malnourished? That sort of stuff. But that isn't there. And I have to believe if there were statistics on that the Post would use them.

Instead it refers to reports of "food insecurity". That refers to people "who lack a dependable supply of adequate food ... and those whose food shortages are so severe that they are hungry." And where do those numbers come from? Way down towards the end of the story we are told:

In the survey used to measure food shortages, people were considered to have food insecurity if they answered "yes" to several of a series of questions. Among the questions were whether, in the past year, their food sometimes ran out before they had money to buy more, whether they could not afford to eat nutritionally balanced meals, and whether adults in the family sometimes cut the size of their meals -- or skipped them -- because they lacked money for food.

So the numbers came from people saying, yeah, I'd like to have more food in the fridge, but I cannot afford it right now. Or as I call it, balancing a budget. Shit, I would say yes to that survey, but I don't think I fit the image the hunger activists are trying to send..

Look, I am not such a prick that I will say that nobody ever goes hungry in the U.S. But to compare us to third world countries -- where people really do sometimes starve to death -- is bullshit just because a recession has us all cutting back. When I start seeing fewer gigantic asses on the streets, then I'll believe we have a hunger problem.

James McWilliams Reminds Us All Why We Hate That One Vegetarian We Know

2009-11-16T12:53:00.000-05:00

Good God Almighty. Fuck this poor miserable soul who's only joy in life to suck the joy out of others lives and starve poor people to death. Did I mention he also looks like a weasel who wears glasses? Because he does. Not even a cute weasel with glasses that you would dress up in a little sweater and take for walks around the city and people would say, "Aw, that's a cute weasel. Can I pet him?"

No, that's not him. Instead he looks like the type of weasel that carries rabies. And syphilis. Definitely looks like a weasel with syphilis. No one wants to pet a rabid weasel who has syphilis. Trust me.

Here's the weasel in a Washington Post op-ed demanding an apology from meat-eaters:

We know more than we've ever known about the innards of the global food system. We understand that food can both nourish and kill. We know that its production can both destroy and enhance our environment. We know that farming touches every aspect of our lives -- the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the soil we need.

So it's hard to avoid concluding that eating cannot be personal. What I eat influences you. What you eat influences me. Our diets are deeply, intimately and necessarily political.

God damn, we're all doomed. Fucked to an eternity of douche bags like this one telling us what is and isn't politically conscionable to eat, wear, drive, fuck and everything else in between.

If what YOU FUCKING EAT isn't personal what is? Is the pornography I choose to watch a personal decision? Or no, because it would offend just about any reasonable person? Seriously, If this guy is offended by eating chicken he would shit-a-brick at my browsing history.

More:

This realization changes everything for those who avoid meat. As a vegetarian I've always felt the perverse need to apologize for my dietary choice. It inconveniences people. It smacks of self-righteousness. It makes us pariahs at dinner parties. But the more I learn about the negative impact of meat production, the more I feel that it's the consumers of meat who should be making apologies

I don't care about your self pity. My concern isn't about you feeling out of place at a dinner party. What I care about is your types making meat more expensive for poor people. That's my concern. I want beef, chicken and pork to be cheap and widely available, because it's the 21st century and we're a rich, developed society with a huge middle class. It wasn't always like this asshole. Meat was a luxury. Protein was a luxury.

That's the elephant in the room. [I was working on this post before I read this post by Sonny Bunch, so excuse the redundancy] These people want to price certain types of food out of certain types of people's budgets. You don't think that fat guy in Iowa is eating properly. You also think he doesn't hold cows in the proper esteem. It offends you. So you want meat to so expensive that poor people can't afford to eat as much of it as they are now. That's pretty shitty no?

If You Learn Only One Thing From This Blog, Let It Be to Never Fuck With a Chimpanzee

2009-11-12T12:15:00.005-05:00

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Remember this lady? Well, she's still alive and doing pretty well. I mean, you know, considering that she doesn't have hands, lips, a nose, eyes, and her face looks like something I left in the toilet this morning. She's able to walk, but has to eat through a straw, and can't breath through her nose...BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T HAVE A NOSE ANYMORE.

I have a few rules in life -- always keeping a small collection of downloaded pornography on a back-up laptop in case the internet goes down, or my primary laptop blows up, is one of those rules. Never associating with anyone who keeps large, dangerous animals in cages in their living room is another.[Granting that it is pretty fucking cool to have dangerous animals in your house] So while I feel for the now faceless Ms Nash, I'm pretty sure she's not entitled to the 30 million she is suing the chimp's owner for (a friend of hers, Ms Nash helped care for the chimp), and certainly not entitled to the 100 million she wants to sue the state for.

How about this? When one of your friends calls you up and says, "Hey, would you help me lure a 200lb+ chimpanzee back into it's cage?" Instead of saying, "Sure, why not. Nothing is on TV anyways." Why don't you suggest she call another friend that no one likes. And already has an ugly face.

My favorite chimp attack to date is this one. For some reason, a couple decide to bring Mo (a chimp living at a chimp sanctuary) a birthday cake to celebrate his birthday. Because who doesn't do that. Two other chimps get jealous, escape from their cages and proceed to eat the mans face off and rip his testicles off of his body. The lesson learned from this situation is that you always bring cakes for EVERY chimpanzee at the sanctuary. Also, you never want to be part of an article with the headline, "Man loses face and testicle in ape attack at California sanctuary"

Bonus: Many years ago we ran a post detailing the epidemic of *monkey/ape/chimpanzee attacks.

I have no fucking clue the difference between them all. I just know I don't want to be anywhere near any of them.

It Pays To Be A Mexican Drug Lord

2009-11-12T10:15:00.003-05:00

Joaquin "Chapo" Guzman comes in at #41 on Frobes Most Powerful list.

Obviously being on this list means shit; but the power that Guzman wields across the border is very real -- and I imagine -- very frightening for the people who live in his territory. It's estimated that his cartel is responsible for hundreds of killings a month in Mexico, by way of turf battles and retribution killings. El Chapo runs what's arguably the largest, and most powerful drug cartel in the world, the Sinaloa cartel. The guy's something of a legend, having been arrested and jailed by Mexican authorities in the late 90's only to escape in 2001 via a laundry cart.

Here's a very good profile on the man from the WSJ that was published this past summer. Recently The Atlantic also ran a piece on the failed drug war in Mexico. Here's a breakdown of cartel controlled areas in Mexico via the BBC.

Corrupt Cop Proves a Blessing To Drug Dealers

2009-11-11T10:58:00.004-05:00

The City Paper follows up on the case of the corrupt Baltimore cop who was detailed to a DEA task force and the difficulties that it's caused for prosecuting certain drug cases where the cop was involved.

And On the 5th Day God Made Women's Soccer

2009-11-06T11:08:00.004-05:00

Best video you will watch all day. Click through the link and watch the embedded video within the Deadspin post. Unbelievably hot.

And check out the new label below. Can't wait to start using it.

Friday Links

2009-11-06T11:00:00.000-05:00

*Unemployment hits 10.2%, but apparently the real unemployment number is over 17% when you factor in people who have taken part-time work in lieu of non-existent full-time jobs, and people who have stopped looking for jobs because...well...I have no fucking clue why you would stop looking for a job when you don't have one.

So I think this underemployed number that the media likes to trot out is stupid. It's stupid because you shouldn't count as unemployed if you are employed. Even part-time. You certainly shouldn't count as unemployed if you're too fucking lazy to look for a job. While I understand that the statistic is called "underemployed" for a reason, it's still too often used by the media as a better judge of the labor market. Personally, I think we should just go Bush-era Homeland Security style, and start using a color coded scale ranging from green (for a great labor market) to red (for a shitty labor market).

*China gets golf. Tiger was sidelined for the last HSBC Championship -- a golf tournament known as the "Asia Major" that takes place in Shanghai every fall -- his return has brought back rabid galleries that were missing last year. With those rabid galleries comes a gazillion little Chinese men that have no fucking clue about golf etiquette. True, this is coming from an American golf fan -- a species of golf fan responsible for the "GET IN THE HOLE!" yell that has now officially zoomed past the douche zone and follows every golf shot on the PGA Tour. Still, the Chinese seem to be a particularly annoying new golf fan base who -- if you can believe this -- won't put down their nosy electronics during golfers swings. As the reporter in the linked story above says:

Most fairways have the feel of the electronics department of the downtown Shanghai Best Buy.

*Lots of whores due to flock to Dallas for NBA All-Star game and the Super Bowl in 2011. Whatever. Same old story that gets rehashed every year. But this is newsworthy -- from the linked Dallas News story -- there's a National Prostitute Diversion Conference. Here's a thought: Do hookers flock every year to take care of the attendees of the National Prostitute Diversion Conference?

*Baltimore Sun engages in actual journalism. Snarky? Yes. Undeserved...probably not. But credit due where credit is earned. The Sun and the Independent are doing an exchange program with their crime reporters. By way of Britain's massive crush on all things The Wire related the Sun's Justin Fenton ad the Independent's Mark Hughes are switching countries for a short time and comparing crime trends. The two papers have set up blogs, updated daily, and the two reporters are filing regular stories for the print editions. It's good stuff. It's the type of interesting journalism that papers like the Sun should be doing more of.

Taking an Office Dump

2009-11-05T11:12:00.004-05:00

I'm a huge advocate of office dumps -- and I'm not talking about taking the occasional shit while at the office -- I'm saying that during the week I take all my dumps at work. I operate under the theory that if I have the choice between being paid for taking a crap and not being paid for taking a crap, I always choose the former. You never know when that day comes where no one is willing to pay you for taking a huge dump. So you know, carpe diem and all that.

I've never had a problem with this until the last year at my new-ish job. This building has a cleaning lady who hits our bathroom twice a day. Sounds great, but unfortunately her cleaning schedule matches up with my shitting schedule. It's become an issue. She does this thing where she walks in to see if anyone is in there, and if someone is she waits outside by her cart for you to leave so that she can enter and clean. See where this is going? Now, I'm pretty immune to shame , but even for me this is starting to get awkward. I'll be the only guy in the bathroom, she'll be waiting 5-10 minutes for me and I've left the not-so-pleasant after effects of my previous night of drinking in the bathroom for her. To make matters worse you have to walk right by her on the way out. I've mumbled "sorry" before just because I don't know how I'm suppose to acknowledge her. She can't be happy with me, and quite frankly I'm not happy with her either. She's sapping all the enjoyment I should be getting from taking a dump on the company dime.

How White Is Maine?

2009-11-03T19:52:00.002-05:00

The head of the NAACP's state prison chapter is a white dude. And convicted murderer/honorary soul brother William "Billy" Flynn doesn't sound overwhelmingly down with the cause either:

And if the question is why he is in the association at all, he explains that it seems better than the Jaycees and the Longtimers, the only other organizations the prison allows, because the NAACP chapter receives outside support. The leaders of the Portland NAACP branch and Jealous have been willing to meet with prison officials on behalf of the inmates. With "an extra-powerful support group on the street," Flynn says the prisoners can get the officials' attention. They have been able to get them to grant them lower phone rates and to issue new rules that let social groups meet more often.

Shameless Linking

2009-10-30T11:18:00.004-04:00

Trolling through the archives I found this post from April 2008. One of my favorites and still makes me laugh. And yes, I read old posts on a regular basis. The single biggest reason I still blog is to entertain myself. It's like masturbating, only I can do it at my desk at work.

The Belly Button Lint I Picked Out Last Night Saved Or Created 1,325 Jobs

2009-10-30T09:37:00.002-04:00

But, not to be out done be my belly button lint the Obama Administration claims that the "Rape and Pillaging Act of '09" saved or created 650,000 jobs. In Maryland our cut of those 650,000 jobs works out to 4,460 jobs. 3,425 jobs were also saved or created on the moon, 4,745 somewhere around the core of the earth, and another 8,200 were saved or created in some distant land called "Wisconsin".

Catch Phillie Fever! And Possibly An STD!

2009-10-28T22:21:00.004-04:00

In other sports-related news, I would be remiss if I didn't blog this story from the New York Post:

A rabid Philadelphia fan -- apparently believing the "P" on the team's cap stands for "prostitution" -- was busted yesterday for offering sex in exchange for World Series tickets, police said.

Susan Finkelstein, 43, was nabbed after allegedly soliciting an undercover Bensalem, Pa., cop who answered her innuendo-laced craigslist ad seeking the coveted ducats.

The married Finkelstein posted her ad -- with a subject line that read, "DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX (Philadelphia)" -- on Monday in the "tickets for sale/wanted" section.

Describing herself as a "Diehard Phillies fan" and "gorgeous tall buxom blonde," Finkelstein said she was "in desperate need" of two tickets to see the Phillies play the Yankees at Citizens Bank Park.

Then came the zinger: "Price negotiable -- I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!"

The suggestive line caught the attention of a Web-trolling cop, who set up a meeting at a Bucks County bar.

The officer said he had one ticket, but when Finkelstein said she needed two, the cop said his brother might have an extra, Bucks County Public Safety Director Fred Harran told The Post.

"She offered to take care of both men," Harran said.

Asked what specific activities Finkelstein offered, Harran said, "Let's just say she wanted to go around the bases the other way."[emphasis added.]

Her lawyer, while claiming his client is innocent, neverthless explains: "She's a rabid fan who, if anything, was overcome with Phillies fever."

Read the whole story, with pic, here.

In other New York Post prostitution reporting, we learn that Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker is now working at the Scores strip joint as a cocktail waitress.

A 'Skins Fan's Lament

2009-10-28T21:51:00.003-04:00

As Rob notes below, the Washington Redskins have, after years of being merely mediocre, become a national laughingstock. I was at the 'Skins-Eagles game Monday night and it was four hours of my life that I want back. As if the shitty play of the team wasn't bad enough, my section was filed with the Eagles' thuggish fans. Throughout the game, I had to endure them opening their greasy cheesesteak holes to tell me how much my team sucked.

They were at least telling the truth though. The Redskins management has apparently adopted an aggressive "let's make a bad situation worse" policy. The sign issue Rob notes is just one part. Another is being in complete denial of the problem. As they repeatedly say: Things are fine, just fine.

Consider this article from the Washington Post's Sunday section about declining stadium attendance and other signs of fan discontent:

David Donovan, the Redskins' chief operating officer, disputed Powell's analysis, saying that team records show a 12 percent dip in merchandise sales, which he said was understandable in a down economy.

Donovan also said that the team hasn't detected a significant decline in fan loyalty and that the team's attendance figures are accurately gathered by bar-code scanners at the turnstiles.

"I think the relentless negative coverage in The Washington Post is a real difference from previous years," Donovan said. "But in terms of the way our actual fans are behaving, we don't see any difference." [Emphasis added]

Yeah, that is it. The Post is just making shit up when they report that fans like me are pissed off.

God almighty, is Dan Snyder exclusively hiring ex-Bush appointees or something?

Panera Bread to Trees: Fuck You

2009-10-28T13:16:00.000-04:00

This is a picture of a Panera bag taken on my desk. I've put a 32oz water bottle next to the bag to give you an idea of scale. Taking a look at the size of the bag you may have thought I ordered a foot long hoogie and a gallon of milk. Or maybe an elephant's dump. Not quite. I ordered half a salad and half a sandwich, and somewhere in the deep reaches of this bag my meal was found.

It may very well be cheaper to produce really big fucking bags, instead of bags that are merely big, who knows. Or maybe Panera just really hates the forest. All possibilities.

Other news: The Redskins are bad. Really bad. So bad, that they've taken to banning signs at Fed Ex field that announce how bad they are. That's not quite how team officials describe the new rule, instead claiming that they're banning all signs at the stadium because of the inherent risk of signs around crowds of people. Who doesn't remember the Great Sign Massacre of '07? No one? Oh right, that's probably because it never happened. Nor as any other sign related disaster ever happened. I would guess that's because signs AREN'T FUCKING DANGEROUS. Buckle up Redskin fans -- It's gong to be a long 9 weeks...

Is There a Pyramid Scheme for Dummies Book?

2009-10-23T10:32:00.001-04:00

Because I'd really like to start one. A large one. Details on the life of a pyramid scheme manager:

Convicted Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff promoted a "culture of sexual deviance" at his New York headquarters that featured vast quantities of cocaine and drug-fueled parties with topless waitresses, according to details of a new lawsuit.

"Madoff's affinity for escorts, masseuses and attractive female employees was well known in the office culture," the complaint says. "A significant amount of the money stolen from investors went towards these lavish indulgences as well as other expenses for his employees, family and favorite feeders."[..]

The complaint, filed by California lawyer Joseph Cotchett on behalf of dozens of fraud victims, says coke was so rampant in his Manhattan headquarters that it was known as "The North Pole."

Well...they may have had bowls of coke, swarms of naked whores and a ton of booze at Madoff office parties; but I bet they didn't have a contest for Best Decorated Cube at their office halloween party. You know who does? This guy. And as I always say, who needs drugs, booze and whores when you have a receptionist with a flair for holiday decorations.

Full article here.

Splitting Household Chores Leads To More Sex, Say Women Who Do Household Chores

2009-10-22T11:55:00.005-04:00

Actual article emailed to me from my not-so-subtle girlfriend:

Housework may seem like the ultimate romance-killer. But guess what?

A new study shows that for husbands and wives alike, the more housework you do, the more often you are likely to have sex with your spouse.

Earlier studies have hinted at this connection for men; the sight of a husband mopping the floor or doing dishes sparks affection in the hearts of many wives. But the more-housework-equals-more-sex link for wives, documented in a study of 6,877 married couples published online recently in the Journal of Family Issues, is a surprise.

Thanks dear, really appreciate that ~~attempt at bribery~~ interesting article.

Today's email from girlfriend -- Study shows men who lose 20lbs and occasionally get their hair cut by a professional have more sex with their partners.

Oh, and I'm close to publishing a similar study that appears to suggest that women who let their men watch playoff baseball and Sunday Night Football instead of It's Me Or the Dog! re-runs receive more help with household chores than those who don't. Point for Rob!

Nice Work If You Can Get It ...

2009-10-20T21:56:00.002-04:00

This only sounds like a joke. Thanks to their union, the stagehands at Carnegie Hall make more money than the performers. Way more:

Depending on wattage, a star pianist can receive $20,000 a night at [Carnegie Hall], meaning he or she would have to perform at least 27 times to match the income of Dennis O’Connell, who oversees props at the New York concert hall.

O’Connell made $530,044 in salary and benefits during the fiscal year that ended in June 2008. The four other members of the full-time stage crew -- two carpenters and two electricians -- had an average income of $430,543 during the same period, according to Carnegie Hall’s tax return. [Emphasis added.]

***

The stagehands benefit from a strong union: Local One of the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees demonstrated its clout in November 2007 when its members walked off their Broadway jobs and closed 26 shows for almost three weeks. The strike ended after stagehands and producers agreed to a five-year contract that both sides called a compromise.

***

How exactly do the stagehands earn their money? According to Carlino, they move equipment in and out of the hall, prepare the three stages for performances and operate audiovisual and sound fixtures. In addition to Stern Auditorium (2,804 seats), the company has Zankel Hall (599 seats) and Weill Recital Hall (268).

Producers who work there said a prop manager usually moves and supervises the moving of objects that aren’t plugged in, such as a piano or music stands. An electrician handles objects that get plugged in, like microphones and amplifiers, while carpenters are involved in the construction and handling of scenery.

Read the whole Bloomberg story here.

Hat tip: NRO's Corner.

Yes, But Did Peaches Get To Keep The Playstation?

2009-10-19T22:13:00.006-04:00

The Washington Post has been running a bang-up series on the waste and fraud the DC city government's contracting for HIV/AIDS services. The city shelled out no less than $25 million in taxpayer dollars to nonprofit agencies that were notable for their "questionable spending, a lack of clients, or lapses in record-keeping and care," according to the Post.

As with any story of this nature, it is the details that fascinate. Sorry this excerpt is so long, but it is the only way to get the full flavor of the thing:

Money from Rowe's department also went to Lurn-N-Ern, a youth education agency formed in 1997 by one-time D.C. Council candidate Mona Odom, who had been an executive with the Girl Scouts of America in New Mexico.

Odom told The Post that she started Lurn-N-Ern to help troubled kids and that she applied for an AIDS grant looking for a new line of business. Odom said she was qualified to do the work because she had run computer classes and had helped women on welfare find jobs.

"I'm a motivator," she said. "When you own a business, you don't have to have [any] background or skill. You look for the people who had it."

In October 2005, Lurn-N-Ern was awarded a $135,000 grant to provide housing for 20 women with AIDS over the course of a year at Odom's four-bedroom house in Northeast.

"Come on over to our house," a Lurn-N-Ern flier said. "Put on your learning shoes."

On incorporation records, Odom's aunt was listed as Lurn-N-Ern's president. The aunt, now 72, lived in Baltimore and had filed for bankruptcy four times, records show.

Lurn-N-Ern's executive director was Odom's friend Benita Blaine, who had a criminal record for theft, assault and prostitution. Blaine's street name was "Peaches." In mid-2006, Blaine was indicted by a grand jury in Alexandria of stealing a co-worker's credit card to buy a $209 Sony PlayStation. After her arrest, records show, she tested positive for cocaine and the illegal hallucinogen PCP. She was sentenced to two years' probation.

***

In October 2006, monitors went back to Lurn-N-Ern to look into complaints from a former staff member and clients who said that Odom had been stealing their food stamps and that night supervisor Rachel Hunter "did not exist," records show.

Odom told The Post that Hunter is her mother, a 73-year-old New Jersey resident. "She was just to be a filler person until I could find someone to fill the spot," Odom said.

Odom acknowledged that the address on the résumé submitted to the city "might have been wrong."

Odom said she did not steal food stamps from her clients.

Despite this, Odom, whose program was revealed only have two clients at one point, told the Post it was "a great success".

Read the whole infuriating thing here.

Going Green Prevents Blue Balls

2009-10-16T07:24:00.002-04:00

Finally, a "save the earth" project TtP readers can get behind. AFP reports that a Berlin brothel is offering discounts to "environmentally conscious" patrons:

"Everyone's a winner," explained Regina Goetz, a former prostitute who runs the "Maison d'envie" (House of Desire) brothel in Berlin's Prenzlauer Berg, a district in the former East Berlin, which is a stronghold for the ecologist Green party.

"The environment is a topic on everyone's lips and it's pretty difficult to park around here. So we came up with the idea of an 'eco discount' of five euros (7.40 dollars) to anyone who leaves the car at home," Goetz told AFP.

You get the discount by showing a bike helmet, a padlock or your bus ticket stud, er, stub. It doesn't exactly sound like a foolproof system to me, but, hey, they're Germans. They'll find a way to make it more efficient.

Meghan McCain Has Great Breasts

2009-10-15T13:51:00.002-04:00

Bam. God Bless twitter and the outraged nitwits on twitter who somehow turned this into a story that needed to be covered. With a picture of her breasts.

Flashback to January 2008 when I first discovered McCain while live blogging a primary debate when I endorsed her father after learning he had a hot daughter. I stand by that endorsement.

The NAACP Doesn't Want An Irishman To Become Mayor of Baltimore. I'm Glad We Cleared That Up

2009-10-14T10:32:00.000-04:00

In the annals of weird things the NAACP says and does, this ranks high up there:

Leaders of the Maryland NAACP, worried that a Baltimore mayor's criminal conviction could result in the appointment of a white or Republican leader who may not fully represent the majority black and Democratic city, are asking state lawmakers to strip the governor of authority to permanently fill the office.

OK. Fair enough. I hate white politicians too. But unlike the NAACP I haven't been kept up at night with worry of that happening anytime soon, because in this city the City Council President is a black female who also happens to be a Democrat. And even though I've never voted in a city election and spend most of my time blogging about boobies, I know that in Baltimore when there is a Mayoral vacancy, the line of succession leads straight to the City Council President. How do I know this? Because it happened 2 years ago in this fucking city.

Still, it is not clear that the resolution or a law change is warranted. According to Dan Friedman, an assistant attorney general who is counsel to the General Assembly, the governor does not have the authority to make an appointment.

Instead, the state constitution defers to the city's charter, he said, which elevates the city council president to be mayor in case of a vacancy. That's how Dixon became mayor in 2007 after Martin O'Malley, her predecessor, was elected governor.

It gets better:

Marvin L. Cheatham, the president of the Baltimore Chapter of the NAACP, introduced the resolution because he heard an attorney on a radio program discussing a lack of clarity on succession if Dixon were to be convicted and sentenced.

"Our concern is who would the governor appoint?" Cheatham said. "Here you have a predominantly African-American city. What if the governor appointed somebody white? ... Would he appoint someone Irish to be the mayor?"

Wow. Breathtakingly stupid and tone-deaf. From one "I can't believe I just said that" person to another, how the fuck do you say that out loud? I'd like to meet the guys working in the local NAACP's communication department. I betcha they have fancy degrees from places like University of Phoenix and Walden University. Christ, what a bunch of fucking idiots.

But seriously, I'm wondering --- Can they really be that stupid? First, they have the facts of succession so horribly wrong that it leads you to believe that they were blinded by scoring some cheap political points. But that doesn't even make sense. It seems like a Hey, look at us! We're still here! type of thing. But as a Baltimore Sun editorial points out, for the NAACP to be talking how a black mayor is essential to running a majority black city 9 months after we elected a black president to run a majority white country...well I don't know, it just seems really stupid. That's not to say the NAACP is incapable of doing really stupid things, just that this seems really, really fucking stupid. Even for them.

Why Regulation Has Nothing To Do With Good Business

2009-10-13T10:47:00.004-04:00

I'm not sure if anyone else noticed it, but yesterday afternoon the Internet as I know it (pornography and gambling websites) were hit hard by something. Various porn sites were experiencing outages and the one poker site that I use (with play money credits of course) was knocked out for the better part of a hour. It was ugly.

The problems with the poker site put me in a special kind of bind as not everyone at the tables I was playing at were disconnected, allowing the remaining players to take advantage of the situation. After about 30 minutes the site finally suspended tournaments until they did whatever they were able to do to fix the problem. This caused me and about 145,000 other people to lose money (uh, play money). I sent an e-mail requesting compensation as I'm sure thousands of other people did as well. Here's the thing -- they actually responded and told me to provide them with the exact table information (easily attainable) and they would follow through with compensation in the next few days. Good stuff. Try getting that out of an airline.

This is hardly the first time I've had to deal with this site's customer service in the past and each time they responded in a quick and courteous manner, usually handling the problem above my expectation. Again, good luck getting that from comcast or any other service company you deal with on a regular basis.

It's not hard to see why an online poker site would stress customer service and problem resolution. It's a business that operates on trust. Trust that has to be gained, as you can't touch the chips or see the dealers or floor managers. There also used to be a lot of competition online for your dollars (not so much now thanks to Congress) and the companies knew that players weren't tied down to a particular casino because of the location, you could play anywhere online. It was incentive to treat customers well.

Word travels fast online, and the integrity of an online gambling site is paramount to it's business. They know if they didn't take steps to ensure that integrity that they wouldn't stay in business for long. They don't need to be regulated by some fools in Washington (give it time, it will happen. The UIGEA was purely a stop-gap to give the feds time to figure out how to best go about taking their cut of the online action.) to treat their customers well. The incentive of staying in business works well enough.

Umm, Okay ...

2009-10-12T22:21:00.006-04:00

The New York Times reports on the art the Obamas borrowed from museums to decorate the White House. Some of the choices were ... kind of revealing:

Another contemporary work chosen by the Obamas is a word painting by the California artist Ed Ruscha. Called “I Think I’ll ... ” it deals with the subject of indecision. The work depicts a brilliant red sunset against which Mr. Ruscha has painted phrases like “Maybe ... Yes ... ” and “Maybe ... No ... ” and “On Second Thought.”