tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13469711.post-1124387289734052372005-08-18T11:32:00.000-06:002007-02-03T09:48:11.120-07:00These past few summers, as our drought ravaged state fought fires that damaged large areas, the media published a lot of tips of what people should take with them in an emergency evacuation. Those lists fascinated me for both the seemingly obvious things to take (the dog, clothes, insurance papers, pictures, heirlooms you can’t live without.) and the logical but less obvious, such as an extra pair of glasses, and (gulp) a descriptive inventory of all your possessions. In the end, no matter how many lists I saw, the conclusion was the same. It is impossible to cram an entire life in the car. <br /> Every day, battered women face the same dilemma. Grab the kids, clothes, school books and homework assignments, prescriptions, and do it quickly. Then they’re off to—where? Battered women are most likely to suffer the worst abuse when they leave. And victims’ families are not immune from that abuse. Yet, my county has only one battered woman’s shelter, nearby Boulder—one. Even Denver—a major city--has only a few. <br /> Shelters can and do turn away women and their children, although of course, they do try to find space for the battered in other shelters. And even when women are accepted, they have only a short span of time to remake their lives. Employers report that domestic violence can be a problem in the workplace. The reason is not hard to guess. After all, if the woman has left home, the guy is going to find her somewhere. Work is the next most obvious place, as well as the kids’ schools, the boyscout meeting, even church. So, the woman and her kids really need to start over completely. Find a new job, new schools, a new place to live and stuff to furnish that in, and do it in thirty days.<br /> You read that right. <br /> Battered women in shelters are given a time limit of anywhere from two weeks to six months to redo their lives with the shelters that offer the longest respite being the scarcest. Typically they offer the longest waiting lists for women to get in. We have one in the Denver Metro area. <br /> Most women escaping their abusive spouses are given on average thirty days to remake their lives. <br /> Thirty days to find that new job, new school, new apartment—oh and the money for furnishings, clothes for the kids, money for food and the dentist. Thirty days to listen to the kids complain that they miss their friends and their home, thirty days to figure out what to do about their marriages.<br /> And people wonder why women return to their abusers. Many return for a short space, hoping things will be better, secretly stashing money and supplies away in case it isn’t. So they can stay away the next time. <br /> As in most states, we have more animal shelters than women shelters. Do you find this statistic as shocking as I do? Donate your gently used clothes. Donate your money to your local shelter. Donate your time. <br /> <br /><br /><BlogItemURL><br /> <a href="<$BlogItemURL$>">Link</a><br /></BlogItemURL>Christine Duncanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06041195047242553586noreply@blogger.com