tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1336353169835974771.post-81284620105041681142008-06-27T11:31:00.003-04:002008-06-27T11:37:09.020-04:00Stages of Life........<br /><a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_JbaSFpFaPhA/SGUIUvQEAMI/AAAAAAAACW8/FcSPM7S2iEo/s1600-h/untitled.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5216584895752831170" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_JbaSFpFaPhA/SGUIUvQEAMI/AAAAAAAACW8/FcSPM7S2iEo/s320/untitled.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />The Male Stages of Life<br /><br /><br />AGE DRINK<br /><br />17 beer<br /><br />25 beer<br /><br />35 vodka<br /><br />48 double vodka<br /><br />66 Maalox<br /><br /><br /><br />SEDUCTION LINE<br /><br />17 My parents are away for the weekend.<br /><br />25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.<br /><br />35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.<br /><br />48 My wife is away for the weekend.<br /><br />66 My second wife is dead.<br /><br /><br /><br />FAVORITE SPORT<br /><br />17 sex<br /><br />25 sex<br /><br />35 sex<br /><br />48 sex<br /><br />66 napping<br /><br /><br /><br />DRUG<br /><br />17 pot<br /><br />25 coke<br /><br />35 really good coke<br /><br />48 power<br /><br />66 coke, a limousine, the company jet<br /><br /><br /><br />DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE<br /><br />17 " tongue "<br /><br />25 " breakfast "<br /><br />35 " She didn't set back my therapy. "<br /><br />48 " I didn't have to meet her kids. "<br /><br />66 " Got home alive. "<br /><br /><br /><br />FAVORITE FANTASY<br /><br />17 getting to third<br /><br />25 airplane sex<br /><br />35 menage a trois<br /><br />48 taking the company public<br /><br />66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave<br /><br /><br /><br />HOUSE PET<br /><br />17 roaches<br /><br />25 stoned-out college roommate<br /><br />35 black lab<br /><br />48 children from his first marriage<br /><br />66 Barbi<br /><br /><br /><br />WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?<br /><br />17 25<br /><br />25 35<br /><br />35 48<br /><br />48 66<br /><br />66 17<br /><br /><br /><br />IDEAL DATE<br /><br />17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in<br /><br />25 " Split the check before we go back to my place "<br /><br />35 " Just come over. "<br /><br />48 " Just come over and cook. "<br /><br />66 sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.<br /><br /><br />The Female Stages of Life<br /><br />AGE DRINK<br /><br /><br /><br />17 Wine Coolers<br /><br />25 White wine<br /><br />35 Red wine<br /><br />48 Dom Perignon<br /><br />66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser<br /><br /><br /><br />EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES<br /><br />17 Need to wash my hair<br /><br />25 Need to need wash and condition my hair<br /><br />35 Need to color my hair<br /><br />48 Need to have Francois color my hair<br /><br />66 Need to have Francois color my wig<br /><br /><br /><br />FAVORITE SPORT<br /><br />17 shopping<br /><br />25 shopping<br /><br />35 shopping<br /><br />48 shopping<br /><br />66 shopping<br /><br /><br /><br />DRUG<br /><br />17 shopping<br /><br />25 shopping<br /><br />35 shopping<br /><br />48 shopping<br /><br />66 shopping<br /><br /><br /><br />DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE<br /><br />17 " Burger King "<br /><br />25 " Free meal "<br /><br />35 " A diamond "<br /><br />48 " A bigger diamond "<br /><br />66 " Home Alone "<br /><br /><br /><br />FAVORITE FANTASY<br /><br />17 tall, dark and handsome<br /><br />25 tall, dark and handsome with money<br /><br />35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain<br /><br />48 a man with hair<br /><br />66 a man<br /><br /><br /><br />HOUSE PET<br /><br />17 Muffy the cat<br /><br />25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat<br /><br />35 Irish setter and Muffy the Cat<br /><br />48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat<br /><br />66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs<br /><br />Muffy the Cat<br /><br /><br /><br />WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?<br /><br />17 17<br /><br />25 25<br /><br />35 35<br /><br />48 48<br /><br />66 66<br /><br /><br /><br />IDEAL DATE<br /><br />17 He offers to pay<br /><br />25 He pays<br /><br />35 He cooks breakfast the next morning<br /><br />48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids<br /><br />66 He can chew breakfast<br /><br /><a href="http://www.glitterlive.com/"><img title="More Glitter Graphics at GlitterLive.com" src="http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p315/ovivip/have-a-great-weekend/032.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-family:georgia;color:#cc33cc;">DIXIE</span></strong>DIXIECHICKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05223036513362572142noreply@blogger.com