GRAVE DESECRATION AND BESTIAL SODOMY

Onward to Golgotha.

2009-12-14T22:08:00.005Z

French has breathed new life into Funeral Fog - the clothing label we started together a few years ago (which I bankrupted, sorry French!) - and has started a new blog/site/thing to go with the new shirts and hoodies he recently made (sold out overnight!).

I should be posting on the blog and putting some little video clips together in the near future. Expect the very worst... Click below to visit the site.

Graves of the archangels.

2009-11-30T21:30:00.002Z

This is a photo of Rachel's sister entering a fancy dress contest when she was a kid. Mermaid and Transformer - the forbidden love.

Went to see Grave Miasma and Dead Congregation on Saturday night with Rach, Brunch and Kloakius. It was my birthday treat.

DC smashed it. Truly amazing.

Yep!

Adam from GM getting em' in.

Kloako.

The next night I got everyone to go to the greek restaurant at the bottom of our hill. The lamb is off the charts.

Pointy.

Rachel poured custard on her roast dinner at a carvery thinking it was cheese sauce. It made her cry with laughter and embarrassment. One of her finest moments.

French and I have made a short film for Scion, a subsidiary of Toyota. It basically looks like this. We had to break in to Greenbank Cemetery at night to film it.

Beer garden genius.

Bootlegged from Leo Sharpe's 15 year retrospective show at the 5050 gallery. Another forbidden love affair. Landscape and Blueprint - the love that dare not speak it's name.

Teddy Moyle - Discuss.

Best picture in the show. Yes Cod!

Zippy and some lurker at one of the Night Of The Living Dead all-nighters in Liverpool many years ago.

Ah, push it!

2009-11-17T18:35:00.006Z

Like one of the comments on the Youtube page says - best in-joke on the internet!

I got accused of making it (wish I had!) as did French, Magee, etc. I have no idea who did but I'd like to shake his hand!

The Big Push has always been fundamentally flawed by having any kind of voting system - nobody wanted to be seen to rip off KOTR wholesale so the voting thing got used instead without considering the ease of manipulation by the companies with the most willing mulit-voters or, indeed, just the most friends.

The way KOTR works is that even if Wight Trash skateboards (look it up) went up against Zero, Girl and Alien it has just as much chance of winning (Chris Cole aside) if it completes all the challenges and scores more points. The popularity of the company doesn't matter in Thrasher's game.

I said all this last year and people thought I was just whining 'cos Landscape didn't win. Oh well. It's not keeping me up nights.

The bit on the vid about "the memory of Document" shouldn't bother anyone at Sidewalk as at least they've tried to bring points scoring in this year. Well, I think they have anyway - I haven't even watched the vid yet.

Anyway - C'mon the underdogs, British skating is rad, support your S.O.S. etc, etc.

Cruel bestiality.

2009-11-09T17:31:00.002Z

French's latest edit with stuff from our Helsinki trip and the usual skateboarding goofs.

2009-11-08T13:32:00.003Z

This wee lassie had a 2nd birthday party.

I did The Haywain by constable on the Etch-a-sketch®

Hard to tell them apart isn't it?

Rachel, Joel and I went to a Dawkins lecture in Bath. It was sick, good pro-evolution stuff as you'd expect. Got the new book, signed too. We kind of gave each other an awkward smile as he signed it and eyed my Blasphemy shirt.

Blasphemy in Helsinki.

2009-10-26T19:36:00.002Z

Brunch and I flew to Helsinki for the weekend to see Blasphemy, Black Witchery, Archgoat, Revenge and Proclamation.

Our flight attendant was David Tura.

Our generous host was Deeli....

...and his wife...

...and his son. All total heroes who went above and beyond for us - even giving up their bed!

They have a massive skatepark in a NUCLEAR BUNKER!

Check French's blog soon for some footage. He's a filmer now.

Insane street spots.

THE best pop-up book you will ever see. Mind bogglingly tech.

Chill out Fos!

I handled this beast.

We watched this film about some crackhead on a skateboard too - they had a premiere at the skatepark.

This is how I felt about the animations. And the music too actually. And some of the team.

The set dresser will go on to big things.

Anyway - THE GIG! Proclamation smashed it as ever. I'm worried about the bass player - he looked about 3 stone lighter than when I saw him last.

I met a Finnish dude outside with French's Krisiun shirt on.

So I introduced them. The usual Bromance ensued.

Bit too much light on stage I reckon. Black Witchery were intense anyway. if you don't like them you can fuck off to church and suck the vicar's cock you christian pricks.

Blood Oath! Best song ever!

Archgoat on home turf! Brought their own pig heads too.

J. Read and the boneheads.

Then the Gods Of War themselves, BLASPHEMY! Once in a lifetime experience? Not made a record since '93 or played since 2001 so don't expect them to play at your "metal" fest next summer. Fuck you if you missed out.

Black Winds was incredible/terrifying.

The following photos are nicked off the NWN forum.

Fiske magazine.

Fat Sussex Idiots

2009-10-19T19:41:00.002+01:00

Look who was waiting for me at home on Friday night!

Straight onto...

...Bomberman obviously!

Multi-tasking.

The first Salty Harris rehearsal in a long time.

You can take Smithy out of Brighton etc, etc.

"Dear Mohammed, I have infiltrated the infidels. I wait your instructions..."

The softer side of Chuck Norris.

£1 sunnies form the garage = deep joy and wellbeing.

Surf's up, trousers down! (that's a Skate Muties quote for the seriously nerdy)

2009-10-15T18:42:00.002+01:00

Suffocation have been off my Christmas card list for a while now (pretty much since their "comeback") but this seals their fate.

2009-10-12T19:21:00.001+01:00

Ozzy Osbourne.

2009-10-12T18:51:00.002+01:00

OK so I'm blatantly stealing this off Jake's blog but you'll see why when you watch it - too weird not to share. I hope Blind Ollie gets to see this - dude is doing all kinds of hick-flips.

Syrup of Figs.

2009-10-11T11:51:00.001+01:00

Look who I found! Same hair as Matt too.

Matt had a party at his new place. I ate most of that cake.
Seeing Wig was sick, it's been like 5 years or something.

The morning after. Awwww.

Were students this crap when I was one? Probably.

You're the primate.

2009-10-04T14:40:00.003+01:00

Just found this from the Viewfinder days, can't remember which one it was in but fucking hell it made me laugh to see it again. Chris and Robbo from Sidewalk's early days were a double act made in heaven. Anyone who's heard the tapes of their prank calls will back me up.

And check the last trick - is that a body varial late switch heel?? Fucked if I know what you call it and let's give Chris the benefit of the doubt and say it was intentional - hell, maybe he had them on lock.

More chris Skateboarding >>

Daughter of perversion.

2009-10-01T17:51:00.002+01:00

The complete works of Hades Archer just turned up at my house! I must have ordered them or something. For those not familiar with this act from Chile let me tell you right now that the Penis Metal MCD is INCREDIBLE.

Bang and Gav had a barbie on Sunday where I ate my own bodyweight in meat. A triumph!

I'd like to dedicate the rest of this post to Gav and Dennis who were on fine form again with their recitations of songs from musicals and general Reeves and Mortimer style tomfoolery. Good work lads!

Zero tolerance.

2009-09-26T16:00:00.000+01:00

Derek and Hand Grenade.

2009-09-26T15:51:00.001+01:00

Went to this metal night with Damo and Sam Ashley who had just finished the Big Push in Bristol. I can''t remember if it was good or not but the DJ had this note stuck up. This leads to me to believe he was probably alright.

Oh yeah, some cordon bleu shit.

Anyone else noticed it's autumn?

Damo and I found our winter car park! Painted curbs and slappy heaven! Tuesday nights will be so much better now!

Go Dawkins!

2009-09-22T07:54:00.001+01:00

What it's like in my house right now....

2009-09-17T17:44:00.002+01:00

Edit: Thanks to Ben Powell for bringing this to my attention too.

Strutter-Smoke Tank - The most amazing bloopers are here

And this is off the charts! Cheers Teresa!

Pray evil i will cum.

2009-09-16T21:28:00.002+01:00

Nick from Nocturnal Blood just sent me the demo, patch and advance tracks from the new 7" as reward for reviewing the demo a while back. Sick!

And he's using some words from it for the flyer for the vinyl release too. I wrote that paragraph about the black mass.

Oh, and I have the Immortal app for my phone, ha ha!

I flew to Glasgow for the weekend to work with Rach's dad.

Swim anyone?

Not on my shopping list.

To fly without a G+T is pretty much treason.

Final hour of christ.

2009-09-10T17:38:00.003+01:00

Had to take a day off today to go to the Dental Hospital and have this little fucker pulled out. It took 3 different people to yank it out, they were close to kneeling on my chest by the end of it. It was brutal.

Now I have a bloody hole in my mouth - soup for dinner then!

If you build it they will come. Mainly kids with razor scooters unfortunately. This hasn't put Laup off - Laupside is a place where dreams can come true

A pump bump, tight quarter and a mellow one = the best thing ever.

Some scenes from a forthcoming French/Glass production.

Rach's band K'Chevere played the new Guggenheim-esque Colston Hall foyer.

Sanguis Imperem. On cassette.

2009-09-05T19:22:00.002+01:00

I went to Newport for the Jam t'other day with some lads.

This is Jesus.

Bob's board.

As photogenic as ever these two.

Dos cervezas por favor.

Can you read that? Grant Taylor is a dick apparently. I cannot concur - he's my pick for SOTY.

Portsmouth - jelly terrorism on the roof of an underpass.

Johhnie's flash didn't reach as far as Fos.

I texted this to Matt and he said it should read 'LOVES'.

Ault ROLLED IN on the law court banks. Yeah - the ones with about 5 foot of vert.

Didn't actually make it in here unfortunately.

Welcome to Southsea!

Crisps stuck. FAIL!

I remember when Colin Pope threw the Mixtape video out the window!

2009-08-30T11:42:00.004+01:00

So that Zoo York video? State of Mind? Just watched it. Whoever chose the music needs shooting (save for that hilarious M.O.P. tune) - Dio for Zered?? Jeeeeesus.

The whole thing was pretty much a shit show as far as I 'm concerned. Brandon Westgate was sick, I've always got time for Suski and Zered is so much better than the others it's almost embarrassing. Ron Deily looks like John Cattle.

The editing stank too - what's happened to RB Umali? Did we really need to see that ride on handrail at the end of ZB's part THREE times? When the second angle came on I thought that was too much and then we got a THIRD angle! Talk about spoiling the mystery of it! It's not like his part needed padding out or anything. Since skateboarding ran out of new tricks 15 years ago or so is this what we're reduced to? You've got to have the long lens, the fisheye AND the rolling Frangle®* to show how high your production values are? And if a trick is that sick shouldn't we be able to work that out first go?

Fuck it, maybe it's my hangover. Or that my last 2 meals have been children's food - fish fingers, chips and beans last night, same again this morning but with peas. It's just not a great video and I guess it's been a while since I haven't enjoyed one. I've even started to like Thrasher vids recently.

I'm off to Southsea now to film with Ault, I hope we can go to the park for old times sake. I won't be wearing a Dead Kennedys shirt with Converse and riding a Neil Blender but I'd still like to carve the Peanut one more time before The Man get's his way and turns it into flats or whatever.

*Frangle: French Fred angle - nobody uses that term anymore eh?

Bermuda, Bahama, c'mon pretty Mama.

2009-08-24T19:12:00.004+01:00

Thank you so much to Teresa for making me wet myself laughing watching this.

On Sunday I went to Crawley to film with the Heroin lot and meet up with Bruce, Smithy and Owen for the first time in what seems like a year. Maybe it almost is? Anyway, I was super stoked to see them - the best people never lose their appeal.

I was looking for a job and then I found a job and heaven knows I'm miserable now.

2009-08-20T20:40:00.005+01:00

Kloako got married!!

Awwww! Well done Saff - you're THE most patient woman in the world. Bar NONE.

See?

Helium balloons got rinsed.

Rachel's ex-step-mum's house boat.

This was like something from a Stand By Me kind of film. Heads on sticks all around this crazy hermit guy's boat moored by the side of the canal. I can imagine kids from miles around ride their bikes to see 'Old Man Withers' place or whatever.

Off to the south of France again.

This one restaurant had a kind of fine mist shower installed above the tables. You kind of did get wet but it was so hot that it was amazing - it nudged 40 degrees for some of the week.

Hey, check out my caption, it's pretty highbrow and works on several levels.

OK, here we go...

In England we keep the pussy on the top shelf!

Sorry.

I was a small fat child in a welfare house.

2009-08-05T23:09:00.002+01:00

Fiske and Marty left on Monday. I miss them already.

Colin on yet another mission to find somewhere for an urban dump - this time the banks of the Thames.

The organisers of the Bristol Harbour Festival obviously have never heard of the rainbow being the universal symbol of the gaylords. It doesn't surprise me, this place is pretty backwards sometimes - peaked beanies, drum 'n' bass, hardflips in grey sweatpants etc, etc - I like it here though.

Antichrist Hammerfist.

2009-07-29T11:41:00.004+01:00

I drove to Stansted to join up with this dude for his Stag Doom.

Here's the crew. Hamburg was our destination.

Hamburg funfair is HUUUGE and has every kind of 6ft demented looking animatronic bird you could possibly want.

Good old Germany - they don't mess around over there. Occasionally it can lead to a touch of genocide but in this case it wouldn't be a bad thing.

Breakfast of champions!

Ledge spot anyone?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Sitting on the dock of the bay watching the ships coming in and going out again.

We stopped by our old pal Stefan Marx' studio to say Guten Tag.

This looked sick. The sign in the tree says No Inliners. These guys are not long for this world.

A proper B+W photo booth.

Kloako got to keep the results.

Re-re.