Michaël Belgraver

And then there was last Thursday...

2008-12-22T19:06:00.000+01:00

Ok, last Thursday is already a while back and to keep some order in these posts on prayer (more will follow), I'm pre-dating this one. Is that actually allowed in blogger-world?

Last Thursday (18th December 08 that is), in my third week of praying, I lost. No, I'm not referring to The Game.

There's not much to say about it actually. I didn't forget about it, I chose not to pray. I was too tired, the days before had been too difficult, too 'dry', too 'nothing'. I just couldn't do it. It felt hypocrite if I would have done it.

The sort of good thing was that it reminded me about how weak I am. In the beginning, though it wasn't going smooth, I felt I couldn't fail this time. This time it would all work out. I guess I was too proud.

With this, I felt my three week challenge was over. I did continue till Monday, to end the challenge well, but it was different.

I haven't found the right way to continue my prayer-journey. Perhaps the only thing to do when you fall, is getting up and start walking again.

Week 2 and 2,5

2008-12-21T22:50:00.004+01:00

No, I did not stay away from blogging after the first week because I blew it right away.

I just didn't get to it. Sometimes I wanted to blog, but that would probably have kept me from praying. Other times I needed more time to process what happened some more before I could share it (either in person or in words on 'paper'). And then there were times that reality caught up with what I had planned on blogging about.

Here's a short summary of the different things I prayed through or different ways I tried to connect to God.

* I started with reading some Job; the parts where God responds to Job by asking him all the questions about where Job was when God created the earth and all.

* There was an evening where repentance was the theme of my prayer. When thinking about what had gone wrong in a specific situation, I realized it had to do with my (egoistic) expectations of the situation. It was good to realize this while praying.

* One day I read 1 John which was pretty good. It's all about knowing God, belonging to him, how we can know that we belong to him etc. Reading it was good, but trying to pray about it, and hear more form God about it.... I don't know...

* I went back to reading James 4:1-10, Isaiah 1 and 1 Kings 19:1-18; the texts that were really profound to me in the beginning of the year. It's about humbling yourself before God (James), how the people of Israel rebelled against God (Isaiah) and how God speaks to Elijah in a whisper (Kings). But again... being still and hearing the whisper...

* A very good, but simple evening was when I just sat down on the couch, had something to drink and tried to have a good, 'personal' time with God. I'll share more about this one in a separate post.

* I had evenings of trying to listen to God, evenings of reading his word, evenings of both. I tried 'letting it happen' and I tried 'coming up with a plan'.

And then there was last Thursday...
Well, more about that in a next post.

Week one

2008-12-09T23:35:00.003+01:00

What shall I say... The first week.

It was difficult - difficult to find the right time in my daily schedule - difficult to not be distracted for half an hour (or even half a minute) - difficult to quiet my mind, my thoughts and really try to listen to God - difficult to both expect something great to happen and to be content with nothing happening at all - difficult to seek God and not trying to 'get something out of it'.

It was challenging - challenging to think about when would be the best time to pray; are there things I should say no to or postpone and pray, or should I pray later - challenging to still spend time with God after a long Sinterklaas evening with family and being to tired to think about anything - challenging to admit that even though I (think I) try hard, I fail in perseverance everyday again - challenging to try to keep a balance between listening to God (and maybe become passive) and seeking God in His word for example (and taking over and doing it my way).

It was good - good to look back and see the different things I read, thought about, noticed, prayed for - good to think about the time ahead and see how many 'topics' there remain to look into - good to realize this is a commitment deeper than any other commitment of this kind I've ever had before - good to know that there are people supporting me in it.

It was sometimes strange to realize certain things. Let me share one.
When someone does something very well, achieves something big, has a great idea, or whatever, I find it much easier to be amazed, thrilled, 'in awe', surprised etc., when I never thought that the person would be able to do that, than when I sort of expect the person to do it. When it's not really a surprise, when it makes sense that someone does this or that thing, then it's still very good, but you're not knocked over by it.
I found out I have the same thing with God. I find it great and wonderful how he created both the universe in all it's magnificence and the smallest of molecules, atoms, dna etc. at the same time. But come on: He is God! He can do anything! I don't understand how it works, but He does. So, what's the big deal? (And I don't mean this as blunt or careless as it may sound - it's a sincere thought I have).
I guess those two things make it difficult for me to see the wonder of it all (that I don't understand it and that for God it's something pretty normal).

Please leave a comment on where I'm going wrong in my thinking.

And now for something completely different

2008-12-02T23:00:00.004+01:00

13 September, last post. Has is been that long? Really?
Thanks Marc, for being curious about what they are. Right now it's not the time to share them, though.

What I will share is, that for the next three weeks I will do something radical, something BIG, something important, something I've never done before, something I can't (and don't) believe I can really do, something that has the possibility of changing my life (although right now I find that hard to imagine), something I should have done long ago, something that's (hopefully) not about me, something (sigh) I'm kind of afraid of, something I kind of long for, something that is (apparently) very natural, something that is (apparently) very difficult and hard work, something I've been putting off too long (and am doing even right now by writing all this)...

I'm going to pray - for three weeks - for about half an hour a day - every day - and not miss a day.

There. That's it. I've said it.

And as sort of 'social experiment', as something to help me stay focused and accountable (though I have my wonderful home group for that too) - and a little inspired by Marc and Eric - I'm going to share my experiences with the world (or with the whatever small percentage of people actually visits this blog). Probably not everyday, probably not in very long stories but enough for you to follow up on how I'm doing.

Will you pray with me?

Thinking deep thoughts...

2008-09-13T00:32:00.005+02:00

The reason I haven't blogged much in a while: I'm thinking too many deep thoughts.

From: garfield minus garfield

Red

2008-08-21T22:34:00.005+02:00

After the Orange and Yellow, it only seems logical to continue with Red. Red is of course the color of the Chinese flag and of the Olympic 2008 logo.

So far (three days before the end) 'we' are doing pretty okay with '6-5-4' (gold-silver-bronze).

Here is (s short) list of my most viewed websites for these Olympics. Since there are so many sports to follow I didn't bother to look for in-depth websites for the different sports.

NOS Olympische Spelen 2008 Live
When you're in the Netherlands you can watch 11 different channels live on your computer. Due to copyright restrictions not available outside Holland.

Google - Summer Olympics 2008
Google made a nice page where you can download a gadget for your iGoogle homepage, see the latest news and (that's the really nice thing) see: all the medals, the events and the stadiums on a map. When you download the Google Earth plugin, you can even see 3d models of the stadiums (incl. the famous Bird's Nest).

Numbers

2008-08-21T22:19:00.004+02:00

18 days of holiday
20 days of not reading e-mail or rss-feeds
51 unread e-mails in Gmail
49 unread e-mails at work
219 unread rss-feeds (of which I've shared 11)
899 photo's (still unsorted)

Volcanoes in the (big) picture

2008-07-16T22:47:00.005+02:00

I've posted about the Big Picture before, and you can find a lot of their 'stories' in my Shared items in the sidebar on the left, but today they had a series of amazing photo's of erupting volcanoes you just have to see.

I mean, how beautiful can nature be. Once 'formless and empty', now well shaped and filled in lots of different ways.

Mt. Augustine, Alaska (US), March 27, 2006

Tour de France on internet

2008-07-09T17:55:00.002+02:00

Okay, here are some websites to follow along with the Tour de France:

Google Maps.
Just before the start of the Tour, Google launched their Street View in Europe. With the stages of the Tour de France.

NOS Tour 2008 Live
If you're in the Netherlands you can watch all the different stages live on your computer. Due to copyright restrictions not available outside Holland.

Le Tour
The official site of the Tour de France, with live coverage in text and all the standings. There are also links to their official tv-partners in many countries. Maybe you can find a live broadcast via internet in your country.

Ubilabs
I don't eally know what this company does (they offer 'location based media'), has a site where they follow a couple of riders with gps and show it together with some personal data (heartbeat, speed) on a (Google) map. What's also very nice is that they have a small Street View picture on the side, so you can see what the riders see. When you don't have tv, but a huge imagination this is the site for you.

Tour.nusport.nl
And for a quick look at the different standings and teams I use this site.

Post your own favorites in the comments.

Yellow

2008-07-06T22:40:00.002+02:00

As in yellow jersey.

It's that time of the year again. Three weeks of cycling in France. Interesting? Yes and no. Usually the first week isn't that great, altough these sprints are incredible. The mountain stages, and especially these in the Alpes... Yeah, they really make the difference.
But what about doping? I don't know. It sure makes it less interesting, but it still is amazing to watch the tactics and the great 'fights' in the last kilometers of Alpe d'Huez.

In the sidebar you can follow along (in Dutch) what's happening, live.

I'll update this post soon with some interesting websites on le Tour.

Oranje

2008-06-18T20:00:00.003+02:00

Update: And we're back on earth. South Africa 2010... here we come!

Hmmm... Something's different, but what?

Since we've survived the first part of Euro2008 superbly, I thought I'd change the look of my website to the most beautiful color around these days.

For those of you who would like to know more about the matches played, see (virtual) replays from every angle possible (even from the ball's perspective) or be able to predict a better result based on previous matches by the different teams, take a look at these websites:

Website: Nu.nl - Ek 2008 (in Dutch)
Highlight: Head-to-head comparison for all matches played (see: Programma).

Website: De 5e man (in Dutch, partly English)
Highlight: With the use of a computer program, the effectiveness of each player and team is being measured, which results in a most valuable player / team listing.

Website: Castrol index (in English)
Highlight: With the use of 16 camera's in each stadium, recording 25 pictures of each player per second everything in the match is being captured. This produces a lot of data producing e.g. a heat map to show where each player spent his minutes on the field. (See: 'Match tracker')
Please note that their 'Best 11' is completely different for what the '5e man' website comes up with.

Website: BBC-Sport Euro 2008 (in: English)
Highlight: Virtual replay. It's amazing. Replay all goals from many different perspectives, including different camera positions, all player's, the referee's and even the ball's perspective.
Another site on the BBC-page delivers you stats, stats, stats...

Website: NOS EK 2008 (in: Dutch, update: only available in Holland due to copyrights)
Highlight: Watch the matches live via internet.

News Stories in Photographs

2008-06-13T23:13:00.000+02:00

A couple of days ago I came across a new-in-pictures website. From their website:

The Big Picture is a photo blog for the Boston Globe/boston.com, (...) intended to highlight high-quality, amazing imagery - with a focus on current events, lesser-known stories and, well, just about anything that comes across the wire that looks really interesting.

Today they had a story about Sudan. It's just a brief introduction to the problems

Just the general facts about the conflicts are overwhelming - drought, desertification, overpopulation, ethnic tensions (ethnic Arab vs. ethnic African), religious conflict (Islamic north vs. Christian south), political clashes (Islamic sharia rule vs. authoritarian government), border issues, multinational interests (Chinese economic interests, US interests) - and - the fairly recent discovery of a half-billion dollars worth of oil reserves, and there's no end to the ongoing causes of conflict.

followed by beautiful and 'uncomfortable' pictures.
Like the article says:

News coverage often tries to explain the causes, the groups involved, the political and military solutions. What isn't seen as often are the faces of those involved - the displaced, the antagonists, the survivors, the leaders, and the followers. These are some of the faces of Darfur and Abyei, Sudan, photographed where they are today, some very far from home.

---------------------------------------

The rest of the stories / photographs is amazing as well. It's very diverse (concentrating on the lesser known problems in the world). But there are also 'lighter' articles. There are always great photographs involved. Just to give you an idea, I really like this one:

Chaiten Volcano still active

Sharing my feeds

2008-06-11T21:58:00.001+02:00

Friends' blogs, news about new Google things, strips, photo's, tips about new software: everything delivered daily to my Google Reader account.

Why not share some of my favorite items with you. On the left, below my reading list, you can find a selection of the items that draw my attention, or I just wanted to share, in the past few months. New items are added regularly, as long as my friends keep blogging, Google keeps adding new (features to their) programs, new strips are being drawn, new photo's are being shot ...

Let me know when you have interesting feeds on your reading list.

Kopen op internet

2008-05-20T22:32:00.014+02:00

Consumenten gaven in 2007 gemiddeld ruim 530 euro uit aan inkopen via internet, een stijging van 20 procent ten opzichte van een jaar eerder.
- Nu.nl

Hmm... eens kijken, wat heb ik afgelopen jaar via internet gekocht:

Vaatwasser	€	387,00
Computer!Totaal (abonnement)	€	25,00
Fotoprinter	€	131,00
Nespresso	€	19,95
Boek (cadeau)	€	24,95
Totaal	€	587,90

Iets boven het landelijk gemiddelde dus.

Verder heb ik nog theaterkaartjes gekocht, foto's besteld en online een autoverzekering afgesloten. maar dat wordt volgens mij niet meegeteld.

Edit (21-05): Om de verschillende uitgaven netjes onder elkaar te zetten heb ik ze even in een table gezet, maar om een of andere reden wordt er boven de tabel een hoop extra witruimte toegevoegd. Enig idee waar dit door komt? In de pagina-code is niet terug te vinden.

Serve the City + Google = 30 hands on a map

2008-05-19T22:29:00.000+02:00

Serve the City is a charity movement that wants to contribute to the well-being of Amsterdam by serving the people of this city in refreshing and practical ways.
This year there were 30 projects, spread out over 4 days (May 9-12th), varying from gardening to handing out invitations to a kids party, from a canal cruise with the elderly to cleaning up after the closing festival on Monday.

To make it more visible how all these helping hands are serving Amsterdam, I started playing around with a couple of Google's applications and features like and within Google Docs and Google Maps.

I started with the spreadsheet created by Google for their Earth Outreach project. With this spreadsheet you can create a network link for Google Earth and/or a map to display in Google Maps. You select one or more templates; put your information, photo's, addresses etc. in the right place on the spreadsheet; publish it and voilà: there you have a url you can open in Earth or Maps*.

Oke, it was a bit more work than this, but basically that's it. To make it a bit nicer you can tweak the text colors, add your own logo and even customize the pins on the map**.

The other day I showed the whole thing to Frans (who's helping out with the Serve the City website) and while discussing some other Spreadsheet features, he had a great suggestion: "Why not use the 'ImportHTML' function to make the filling of the spreadsheet a lot easier?"
With this function you can select a table or a list of events on a web page and load it into a spreadsheet.

With all the Serve the City projects stored in a database, it's pretty simple to create a special web page with the information in the same format as needed in the 'Outreach Spreadsheet'. By using the ImportHTML function in the spreadsheet we only need to add or change the information in one place: the database.

One thing we had to add to the database was the longitude and latitude coordinates for all the projects. Hmm... we only have addresses. Luckily Google Maps has 'My Maps'. And luckily you can add 'items' (or content or gadgets) to that section. Someone has created something called Position Finder. With this you get the exact coordinates of any place you click on the map.
The copy-and-paste work for this was in the end the most time consuming part*** (this and the hours spent using all of the above and more Google applications for these 'you never know when they come in handy' moments).

Oke, so now we have spreadsheet with the information and a map with the locations, but we also wanted to put the map on the Serve the City website. How? Simple.
Click 'Link to this page' on the Google map, choose 'Customize and preview embedded map', change the settings to your linkings and copy/paste the code into your webpage.

Hmm... Well... This last part wasn't as simple as we thought it would be. The website lay-out was not fit for a large map: the balloons on the map turned out to be too large to fit on the small screen. Instead we put up a picture of the map that linked to the original map. We'll have to work on this for next year.****

Curious about the end result? Here it is, this is what you get when you combine Serve the City with a couple of Google applications: 30 hands covering Amsterdam to help the less fortunate in our society.

* This is not exactly how it works. In the spreadsheet is a special Network link available for Google Earth and another link to show the map in Google Maps.

** For readability purposes (yeah, I know, there are already to many links, so why talk about readability) I left out that I used and adjusted the Serve the City logo for the icon/ pin, uploaded it to my Googlepages website and linked to the file from the spreadsheet.
In order to easily detect the projects that are full, I also copied the template used in the spreadsheet and made a different color icon/ pin so these projects turn out to be green on the map (the projects that can still use sign-ups are gray).

*** Later I found a great geo-coding excel tool on Juice Analytics. With this tool we could converted all address to lat-long coordinates and export them back into the database. Well, good to know for next year.

**** We'll also have to do something about the ordering of the results. it's probably as simple as ordering them on the special webpage, cause ordering them in the ImportHTML-filled spreadsheet didn't work.

"Quotes..."

2008-05-19T21:11:00.000+02:00

On my iGoogle Quotes of the day-gadget, I read this quote:

It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.

- Arnold Toynbee

It is so true. Although the example is a bit off, the idea is the same.
Last week while running in the Vondelpark, we did a 25 minute run. I expected to do one full round (approx. 3,2 kilometers) plus a bit extra. When I had completed that, there was still some time left. I did not know how much, and I did not know how far I could run in that time.
Those minutes were the hardest. Not only because I was physically getting tired, but because I had reached my goal and still had to run some more.

Next time I'll have to aim for something further.

Other quote on (the difficulty of) reaching goals:

Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?

- Galatians 3:3

Shine

2008-05-07T23:32:00.001+02:00

Oh let your little light shine
Let your little light shine
Shine on Wall Street and Vegas
Place your bets
Shine on the fishermen
With nothing in their nets
Shine on rising oceans and evaporating seas
Shine on our Frankenstein technologies
Shine on science
With its tunnel vision
Shine on fertile farmland
Buried under subdivisions

Let your little light shine
Let your little light shine
Shine on the dazzling darkness
That restores us in deep sleep
Shine on what we throw away
And what we keep

Shine on Reverend Pearson
Who threw away
The vain old God
kept Dickens and Rembrandt and Beethoven
And fresh plowed sod
Shine on good earth, good air, good water
And a safe place
For kids to play
Shine on bombs exploding
Half a mile away

Let your little light shine
Let your little light shine
Shine on world-wide traffic jams
Honking day and night
Shine on another asshole
Passing on the right!
Shine on the red light runners
Busy talking on their cell phones
Shine on the Catholic Church
And the prisons that it owns
Shine on all the Churches
They all love less and less
Shine on a hopeful girl
In a dreamy dress

Let your little light shine
Let your little light shine
Shine on good humor
Shine on good will
Shine on lousy leadership
Licensed to kill
Shine on dying soldiers
In patriotic pain
Shine on mass destruction
In some God's name!
Shine on the pioneers
Those seekers of mental health
Craving simplicity
They traveled inward
Past themselves...
May all their little lights shine

Shine - by Joni Mitchell

Today I exist...

2008-04-29T04:10:00.002+02:00

1009843200 seconds
16830720 minutes
280512 hours
11688 days
1664 weeks
384 months
32 years

(and about 9 months)

Levenslang, vrijgesproken of ter dood veroordeeld.

2008-04-05T23:10:00.001+02:00

Opening van Met het oog op morgen op 05-04-2008:

"Als de aanhangers van Rita Verdonk dus hun zin hadden gekregen, was Lucia de B. niet vrijgelaten, zoals een paar dagen geleden gebeurde, maar was zij vijf jaar geleden strafrechterlijk gedood.
Wat je zegt: trots op Nederland."

door: Stephan Sanders

N.a.v.: 'Lucia de B. vrij' (02-04-2008) en 'Veel Verdonk-aanhangers willen doodstraf terug' (05-04-2008).

Edit (06-04-2006): tekst letterlijk overgenomen. Luister hier (00:58) naar het fragment.

Florence

2008-04-03T22:46:00.004+02:00

Today, PSV played Fiorentina in the quarterfinal of the UEFA cup, in Florence (score: 1-1). I couldn't help to think back at our trip to Arezzo, Tuscany in may 2005. Of course, Florence was one of the places we visited. Here are just two of the many, many photo's we made during that trip.

Duomo

Ponte Vecchio

"Wie niet tegen ons is, is voor ons"

2008-04-02T22:51:00.005+02:00

Vandaag stond in dagblad de Pers een artikel over het uitdrijven van geesten uit huizen. Midden in het artikel stond opeens:

Behalve geesten van overleden personen zijn er nog andere soorten entiteiten, legt Yvonne Hofstede uit. Zelf helpt ze mensen bij de bevrijding van demonen, die zij aanhangers van Satan noemt. ‘Demonen laten zich niet zomaar wegsturen. Die gaan alleen weg als je ze daartoe beveelt in de naam van Christus.’ Die woorden kun je ook niet zomaar uitspreken, je moet het echt vanuit je hart voelen en zeggen.’ Vooraf gaat Hofstede daarom ook altijd eerst in gebed om Christus’ kracht en nabijheid te vragen. ‘Demonen kunnen zich ook vermommen als engelen of familieleden, waarmee ze de indruk wekken je te willen helpen, wat niet het geval is. Daarom is het ook zo gevaarlijk je ermee in te laten als je niet weet hoe je hiermee om moet gaan.’

De toon van het artikel was nu niet bepaald christelijk; er wordt gebruik gemaakt van kristallen die energie bevatten, wichelroedes en kruizen met vijf-puntige sterren. Dus dat het gebed en Jezus' Naam in hetzelfde rijtje geplaatst worden vond ik niet echt prettig.

Maar ik moest ook meteen denken aan de opmerking van Jezus toen zijn discipelen met precies hetzelfde geval te maken hadden (Marcus 9:38-40):

Johannes zei tegen hem: ‘Meester, we hebben iemand gezien die in uw naam demonen uitdreef en we hebben geprobeerd hem dat te beletten omdat hij zich niet bij ons wilde aansluiten.’ Jezus zei: ‘Belet het hem niet. Want iemand die een wonder verricht in mijn naam kan onmogelijk het volgende moment kwaad van mij spreken. Wie niet tegen ons is, is voor ons.

Hmmm... Toch overtuigt het me niet direct. Hoe kun je Jezus' Naam nu (effectief) gebruiken als je niet echt gelooft in wie Hij is? Misschien omdat de demonen tegen wie je het hebt wél in Hem geloven?

Update:
Er staat namelijk ook geschreven (Matteüs 7:21-23):

Niet iedereen die “Heer, Heer” tegen mij zegt, zal het koninkrijk van de hemel binnengaan, alleen wie handelt naar de wil van mijn hemelse Vader. Op die dag zullen velen tegen mij zeggen: “Heer, Heer, hebben wij niet in uw naam geprofeteerd, hebben wij niet in uw naam demonen uitgedreven, en hebben wij niet vele wonderen verricht in uw naam?” En dan zal ik hun rechtuit zeggen: “Ik heb jullie nooit gekend. Weg met jullie, wetsverkrachters!”

Trouwens, wat actueel is de Bijbel toch weer, he? Geweldig!

(Nadruk op de zinnen door mij aangebracht)

Shocking statistics

2008-03-30T14:26:00.021+02:00

Statistics don't always say much. Especially when the numbers involved are (very, very) large, we often loose contact with their meaning. 12.5 Million dollars spent on war in Iraq per hour, 60,000 plastic bags used in the US every 5 seconds, 65,000 American teenagers (under 18) becoming addicted to cigarettes every month.

Chris Jordan tries to capture these numbers in large photos:

This series looks at contemporary American culture through the austere lens of statistics. Each image portrays a specific quantity of something: fifteen million sheets of office paper (five minutes of paper use); 106,000 aluminum cans (thirty seconds of can consumption) and so on. My hope is that images representing these quantities might have a different effect than the raw numbers alone, such as we find daily in articles and books. Statistics can feel abstract and anesthetizing, making it difficult to connect with and make meaning of 3.6 million SUV sales in one year, for example, or 2.3 million Americans in prison, or 410,000 paper cups used every fifteen minutes. This project visually examines these vast and bizarre measures of our society, in large intricately detailed prints assembled from thousands of smaller photographs. The underlying desire is to emphasize the role of the individual in a society that is increasingly enormous, incomprehensible, and overwhelming.

I wanted to post an example here, but with the size of the pictures needed to give you an impression and the relative scaling of the page, things don't really work out. Guess you have to check for yourself. I promise, it is really good and impressive.

Hardlopen

2008-03-27T19:42:00.000+01:00

Een zoveelste poging, of is het dit keer toch wat serieuzer?

Een week of twee geleden ben ik weer eens begonnen met wat hardlopen. Gewoon, in m'n eentje een rondje door Molenwijk, wat rek-en-strek oefeningen, wat interval-oefeningen.
Echt inspirerend is het niet. Na een paar honderd meter als buiten adem en benen die niet meer verder willen. Hopelijk gaat het over een paar weken beter.

Nu kreeg ik op m'n werk een mailtje van een paar enthousiaste hardlopers die een trainingsgroepje willen starten om beginnende lopers klaar te stomen voor de Dam-tot-Dam loop in september.
Of ik die Dam-tot-Dam loop ga doen weet ik nog niet, maar met iets meer begeleiding en met wat meer 'sociale druk' lopen lijkt me wel beter dan wat ik nu doe. Dus, 8 weken lang ben ik op dinsdag een uurtje in het Vondelpark te vinden. Ik ben benieuwd...

Renew

2008-03-27T15:32:00.003+01:00

Ever since January this year, I've been doing pretty okay spiritually. At least a lot better than the months before. At times during the last few months I really felt like having it all together, knowing what it's all about and only looking forward to strengthening my relationship with God.
In January I enthusiastically started a Bible study on 'humility', started reading Isaiah (and for the first time I could relate to the story) and I joined the Cover to Cover Bible reading plan of Zolder50. This all went great. God's word spoke to me again since a long time. And when I didn't feel like reading, was too tired or did read but got nothing out of it, it didn't matter. There was no feeling of guilt attached to it (like there had been in so many previous attempts).

But something has changed. I never got further than reading Proverbs for my humility study, I haven't opened Isaiah in weeks and even with the Cover to Cover reading I am a full two weeks behind now. And slowly the guilt-feeling is returning.

Then today I read Todd's post about 'daily devotion'. He writes: Over the past couple weeks I have been spending time everyday reading, reflection upon, journaling, and freshly applying God's word to my life. This made me think about my situation. Is it realistic to think that I suddenly have it all together? After months (maybe even years) of slowly getting out of touch with God, losing that personal connection, would it really be that simple to just read the Bible a couple of times and have everything figured out? Maybe not.

I did a quick search on all instances of 'renew' (and related) words in the Bible. Guess what? It's in there quite a few times. In the Old Testament the Covenant is renewed over and over again; cities are being renewed as is the whole earth; it talks about how our body's, our strength and our spirits are renewed.
One of the 'renew' verses, of course, was Paul's "... but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." in Romans 12:2. When I saw it, I thought: "Yeah, yeah, I know that one." After having clicked on 'read in context' for most of the verses, I also clicked on the Romans one. Then I read verse 3: "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you."

Hmmm... I guess I have been thinking too highly of myself (thinking that I was doing pretty okay). Maybe I was doing okay, but 'looking forward to strengthening my relationship with God' is different from 'pursuing it'. And I haven't been doing that.

I guess it's time for me to renew something.

Update (30-03-2008): Zolder50 Seminar: Renewing the Mind (11-12 April)

What's wrong here?

2008-03-19T22:55:00.007+01:00

For more examples, see this Flickr-set.