tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-132519582007-06-05T20:30:59.161-07:00authornoreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-51357116263994017372007-06-05T20:22:00.000-07:002007-06-05T20:30:56.108-07:00

Submitted by 'kyle' on May 12, 2007 Q: Moviereviewguy, I love reading your blog. I am an inspiring actor/film maker in my last year of high school. I wonder if you would like to come to my graduation and give a speech? Please reply to my email address. Kyle. A: Kyle, please don't be ridiculous. My summers are filled with caviar, yachts, and busty actresses. Have fun at the commencement.

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1172209181856529262007-02-22T21:33:00.000-08:002007-02-22T21:39:41.866-08:00

These are both valid questions. I would like to sincerely apologize to all of my fans and to all of the thousands of readers of this blog. Although I usually reserve excuses of any kind, I entered into an online business relationship that went sour. I was scammed of tens of thousands of dollars by a web programming and design outfit that will go unnamed. I am blogging from my laptop in my den

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1168733163774001272007-01-13T15:58:00.001-08:002007-01-16T22:15:42.066-08:00

The Golden Globes are coming up on Monday, but I really couldn't care less at this point. I'm really disappointed with what Hollywood is putting out at this point - there probably needs to be some regulation. I have a couple of new projects in the mix so I have not been able to keep up with movie reviews. I apologize for that because I know that my readers expect honest, biting movie reviews.

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1167453535164011902006-12-29T20:34:00.000-08:002007-01-03T04:59:29.733-08:00

2006 was a great year for movies that suck. I am going to break down the 10 worst movies of 2006 and then tell you why they sucked. This list will probably shock a lot of you, but I don’t care. I’ve always been a straight shooter as a major Hollywood star and as a movie reviewer on the World Wide Web (www). Let’s get down to business. Here is the list in order of sucking the least: 10.

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1163998443767435982006-11-19T20:46:00.000-08:002006-11-19T20:54:03.780-08:00

There is not enough Karate in Japan to save this movie. I've seen foreign Karate movies with subtitles that screen better than Unleashed. It's hard enough convincing broads to watch a Karate movie when they're good. Morgan Freeman obviously needs to start actually reading the scripts.

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1162065174525652592006-10-28T12:40:00.000-07:002006-10-30T22:03:16.663-08:00

Thank You for Smoking is barely what I would call a film but I'm going to review it anyway. I had just finished filming a 'jungle scene' for my next picture and I was dead tired so I really didn't want to watch something that would make me have to think. Well, I picked the right movie becuase Thank You for Smoking is an easy watch - one of those movies that you can clean your house to. I'm

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1161665952160147722006-10-23T21:48:00.000-07:002006-10-23T21:59:12.173-07:00

Can you imagine me lounging in leather slippers, fully draped in a silk bath robe, sipping 25 year old scotch while watching The Prestige on my 100in. television set? Well, that's how I do things. My agent shipped over a copy of The Prestige for me to view this last weekend. I had nothing to do really, I just had a couple of broads (one of them younger than the scotch mind you) laying

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1160708232257101392006-10-12T19:49:00.000-07:002006-10-12T19:57:12.273-07:00

I'm sure that this is probably the only movie review for the Ringer that you will ever see. I'm also sure that a lot of my fans may also never read my blog again when I say that this wasn't a bad movie. I know Jackass' Johnny Knoxville and he's a good kid - I told him that I would watch this movie and I did. It wasn't great, but it did provide a few laughs. The jury is still out on whether

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1160456291975437422006-10-09T21:50:00.000-07:002006-10-09T21:58:11.990-07:00

16 Blocks is officially the worst movie Bruce Willis has ever done and he knows it. As an actor, I can usually see when another actor is coasting in a movie. Within the first 5 minutes, I could tell that BW was sorry that he was in 16 Blocks. He would never tell you, but you can believe me. Speaking of worst, when did the world decide that rappers can act. I swear, if you have done a crappy

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1159234731173011972006-09-25T18:16:00.000-07:002006-09-25T18:40:12.383-07:00

I've seen some pretty lousy Woody Allen films (Small Time Crooks, The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, etc.) I mean, is Woody even 'Hollywood' anymore? I seriously doubt it. I barely wanted to watch this, but again, the broad that I was with (art student) wanted it bad, so The Movie Review Guy gave in. I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't completely hate this film. Directing - Typical Woody.

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1156125573059679332006-08-20T18:54:00.000-07:002006-08-20T19:06:55.333-07:00

Sometimes I'll just rent a movie without even knowing anything about it. I do that. Another thing that I'll do is invite some B-List actress or body double over to view films with me. I like to invite these broads based on what type of movie I'm watching. For Memoirs of a Geisha I am going to invite this Japanese model, for the Matador I called on this Spanish chica whose number I had laying

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1153883702947298782006-07-25T20:01:00.000-07:002006-07-25T20:15:02.963-07:00

It has been quite some time since I have had the opportunity to put on the sunglasses, ball cap, and fake moustache to sneak out and see a movie with the general public. While watching 'The Lady in the Water' or 'Lady in the Water' if you prefer, I came to realize something. Watching a movie with the goddamned public (and this was in an upscale neighborhood mind you) is a big mistake. I won't

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1153286591264516032006-07-18T22:08:00.000-07:002006-07-18T22:23:11.283-07:00

Submitted by 'derails' on July 18, 2006 Q: I think I may know who you are. I have worked as an extra on some of the movies that you have written about and I'm pretty sure that we have met. Please answer my emails - I would like to meet up. A: derails, thanks for writing. Are you the 18 year old yoga/pilates instructor who worked as a body double? Are you the 1/2 African American, 1/2 Lebanese

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1153079231725522232006-07-16T12:19:00.000-07:002006-07-16T12:47:11.756-07:00

I used to love Nicholas Cage. When he married Elvis' daughter, I knew that he was whacked out of his skull. Still a decent actor though. We all know that Cage's best movie is Raising Arizona and I'm not saying this because I worked on the set. I've worked with Cage on several films, we would hit the bars after filming. We had a pretty tight relationship up until Nick married Lisa Marie - He

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1152387746647340642006-07-08T12:31:00.000-07:002006-07-08T12:42:26.673-07:00

A real man would have no business whatsoever watching a movie like Transamerica. A real man that is also an award winning actor and renowned movie reviewer and studies to perfect his craft would have reason. The acting was solid, but the story was all over the place. Most people (you & the general public) don't know how difficult it is to write screen copy, that is, write a movie script. I've

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1151464580468294592006-06-27T20:02:00.000-07:002006-06-27T20:37:04.876-07:00

My agent called yesterday to point out that my site is at the top of over 71,000,000 (that's 71 MILLION) search pages on google for Movie Review Guy. I hung up on him and finished drinking my coffee. I don't write movie reviews to make my website popular. You see, when I write movie reviews I impart a particular sense of expertise; I watch a movie with a keen eye that the everyday viewer

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1151385246918278352006-06-26T21:57:00.000-07:002006-06-26T22:14:06.930-07:00

Well, I'm still laid up, but I managed to send my personal assistant to fetch some DVD's. My assistant brought me Munich, some pretzels, and my Vicodin prescription. I was ready to watch my movie without any annoying broads hanging around. No annoying producers bragging about their film, just me and the DVD. I really thought that I was going to like Munich, but about 1 hour into the film I

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1150172389868784382006-06-12T21:12:00.000-07:002006-06-12T21:20:41.500-07:00

I was a little bit apprehensive when I first popped this disk in my Blu Ray DVD player. I mean, Saw 2 is out and I haven't even seen the first. Saw has not Karate, no hot babes, but plenty of blood and guts. The blood and guts I can usually handle, but as I was lying there with my leg in it's cast I started to get a little bit sick to the stomach. Especially considering the very traumatic

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1150012258136169002006-06-11T00:45:00.000-07:002006-07-16T12:48:58.313-07:00

Let me just say that this whole cast thing is totally paying off in the broad department. The only real problem is that I have been juggling 'off and on' ~5 of my old girlfriends who are constantly calling to give me attention. I included a picture of the aftermath of the 'on the set' accident. Looks like I won't be making feature films for while... Oh yeah, sorry for the quality of the pic

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1149901128694355392006-06-09T17:53:00.000-07:002006-06-09T17:58:48.716-07:00

I would like to thank all of my close friends and fans (fans that know my identity) for their time, love, and patience as I recover from my 'on the set' injuries. To those of you who do not know, I was injured on the set of my latest film. As I have stated in previous blog postings, I do all of my own stunts and as those in the industry know - stunts can and do go wrong. I will have plenty of

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1140670212891004132006-02-22T20:38:00.000-08:002006-02-22T20:50:12.910-08:00

A lot of movies have been making their way to me via FedEx, Grizzly Man is one of these movies. I know people who know Werner Herzog and they say that I BELONG in one of Werner's films. I have always enjoyed his anti-Hollywood approach to making films and instantly knew that I would like Grizzly Man. I was able to watch a film by myself without the extras, or body doubles, or B-actresses that

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1140503414210432972006-02-20T22:11:00.000-08:002006-02-20T22:30:15.596-08:00

Don't ever let anybody tell you that acting is easy. The picture that I'm working on isn't exactly a blockbuster, but I also wouldn't consider it to be low budget. My trailer is adjacent to the dining cart and also right next to the body double for the lead actress. There are actually two doubles for this actress and I'm honest when I say that either one of the doubles could easily replace

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1139459791179505702006-02-08T20:21:00.000-08:002006-02-08T20:36:31.206-08:00

The question that everybody has been asking me is not, "Who do you think will win for best picture?", but rather, "Are you going to the O's and if so, who are you taking?" I really struggled with whom I might take to such an event (for the record, I have been to 6 Academy Awards celebrations), but that concern didn't last long because I have signed on to a new project that will require me to

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1139289963717467652006-02-06T21:20:00.000-08:002006-02-06T21:42:11.913-08:00

Brokeback Mountain, also known as "The Gay Cowboy Movie", is more than just that. It is a story about love, cowboys, gay cowboy homos, and the homely women that love them. Before we go further, let me say that no heterosexual male should be seeing this movie except, of course, Hollywood A-Lister's such as myself as we need to see movies like this for the study of our craft. Writing about this

authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13251958.post-1138432425897572362006-01-27T22:56:00.000-08:002006-01-27T23:23:15.166-08:00

I have received 87 emails which all basically ask the same question - "Why haven't you given a Golden Globes review/update?" The problem is, I was too wrapped up in the Globes to be blogging about them. I'm an accomplished actor first, a brutally honest movie reviewer second. I'm sure that most of you know about who won at the Golden Globes, but if you only knew what went on at the after party

authornoreply@blogger.com