tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-132492192008-07-16T11:18:43.149-05:00Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-52317070575129893372008-07-16T09:36:00.002-05:002008-07-16T09:41:06.474-05:00

Let's talk about this here. It's not just gays and lesbians that should be outraged by this. It is, of course, a fact of life that roughly half of the country agree with him. Let's vent here about it....MikkiBy DAVID CRARY, AP National WriterTue Jul 15, 3:44 PM ET Advocates for gay and lesbian families are denouncing Sen. John McCain, an adoptive father himself, for opposing adoptions by gays,

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-34384304344372918212008-06-17T01:11:00.002-05:002008-06-17T01:14:31.789-05:00

from Ruth It seems that the older I get (and I’m hardly old at 33!!) the more people are baffled by my single status and the more I have to contend with their bizarre questions about my “lifestyle”. I was recently at a friend’s wedding and was having a conversation with one of the guests (a married man) and when he found out that I was single, he was absolutely stunned that I had somehow

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-15433979580432399532008-05-25T10:41:00.001-05:002008-05-25T10:43:14.857-05:00

from Ruth The upcoming premiere of the Sex and the City movie got me thinking about the series (which I loved for the most part) and I find it really sad that a series like this that was supposed to portray single women as strong and independent, and that was groundbreaking in so many ways, still had to end its final season with all four women in relationships. Even for a show that discussed

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-28216708674853555822008-05-23T13:08:00.003-05:002008-05-23T13:12:32.452-05:00

from Julie, reacting to the lengthy ChoiceMoms discussion group thread about Choice Moms, marriage and the pressure to marry. Reading this made me conjure up this image of a bunch of men blogging about caring for children on their own and trying to fit into society's standard of being married. How silly the image! Men are just so different than women.......at least the ones I know. I think a

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-10519149592461624972008-04-28T10:02:00.003-05:002008-04-28T10:17:57.883-05:00

I attended a conversation with three local historians last week that left me with several interesting morsels that have been rattling around in my brain since. One of them talked about our tendency to think the past was somehow simpler and less complex than our intricate lives today. As example, she talked about how we tend not to notice that there was "divorce on foot" in past years. We know

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-81281448136762887682008-03-16T21:27:00.003-05:002008-03-16T22:20:14.796-05:00

My grandma Jean died Monday, age 96. She was the only grandparent I ever knew, and a true matriarch in many ways. She raised her two kids alone, after her husband died in 1945 in a tragic accident, by putting herself through cosmetology school, setting up her own beauty shop, and staying focused on her kids, being frugal, and nurturing friendships. In some ways, she was my Choice Mom model.

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-251674051050268052008-02-09T08:43:00.000-06:002008-02-10T07:46:11.523-06:00

For this Valentine's Day month, Choice Mom Lori Gottlieb pondered whether she actually was too picky, as critics like to suggest when women in their 30s cannot find a partner before it's time to raise kids. You can read her views in Atlantic Monthly and hear her perspective on NPR. When her essay link was posted on the Choice Mom discussion board, women quickly stepped up to disagree with her

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-38335224459801648022007-12-03T07:59:00.000-06:002007-12-03T11:59:42.973-06:00

I consider myself a pretty practical, if sometimes passionate person. I believe in using logic to make decisions. And I believe there is a kind of internal computer processing that needs to happen in order to spit out answers that are sometimes more complicated to reach. Yet I also believe the universe sends signposts to help us, if we can train the internal eye to recognize them (or the

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-2263728174129424252007-10-24T07:44:00.000-05:002007-10-26T10:30:34.495-05:00

One of the questions I am commonly asked by those who are not yet familiar with the Choice Mom community is whether we're made up of women who find men irrelevant. This is typically something I disagree with. But lately I'm rethinking that position. In a way. In the nuanced world, women can hold two seemingly opposite views at the same time: 1) Men are important and often great role models for

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-48007181748722253932007-06-10T07:19:00.000-05:002007-06-10T07:45:58.067-05:00

There is some exciting progress on the non-traditional family-building fronts. A national coalition is now in formation to enable greater discussion about how to protect our children's rights as curious eventual-grown-ups with medical history needs of their own. I'll keep you posted on that progress here over time. I'm also happy to report that I'm getting more serious about strengthening the

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-78109652181944231302007-05-27T00:25:00.001-05:002007-05-27T00:46:52.732-05:00

For the second time in two years I have spoken at and participated in a national discussion about family -- who we define as family, the importance (and sometimes lack thereof) of biological ties, the experiences of donor-conceived and adopted people who are missing some of their history. The conference included governmental policy makers and regulators, doctors, social workers, offspring and

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-14187844708573916852007-02-26T12:26:00.000-06:002007-02-26T12:55:54.448-06:00

As most of us do, I have three distinct roles to play: mother, worker, wife. My roles don't blend together like many others do, and maybe that gives me the unique opportunity to see how DIFFICULT it must be for people to do all three simultaneously. Many people wonder, for example, how single women manage to take care of their children alone....while I wonder how on earth married couples manage

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-31226609761817665122007-01-19T13:22:00.000-06:002007-01-19T13:23:01.226-06:00

A recent Today Show segment (January 16) spent more than 8 minutes discussing the prevalence of Choice Motherhood, which refers to women who proactively choose single motherhood. I know about 500 of these women, and about 100 of their kids. I am the Choice Mom of two, now married, and author of Choosing Single Motherhood. I know that the majority of us are in our 30s when we become mothers. Most

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-29943771383732619672006-12-21T01:03:00.000-06:002006-12-21T01:04:56.619-06:00

In another life I would have been a geneticist. I’m fascinated with the idea that from a drop of blood we can today learn that our ancestors left Africa and traveled along the coastline, through India, to Australia. Or headed into the Middle East and eventually to Europe. Or ventured inland through Central Asia, into the arctic reaches, and crossed the frozen Bering Strait into North America, and

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-16722713594098598842006-12-13T12:41:00.000-06:002006-12-13T13:05:25.807-06:00

Since I'm a spokesperson in favor of Choice Motherhood, I'm aware that it might put a burden on my kids over time to be rah-rah. And I want to be careful that they are able to express how they really feel about aspects of it. I don't want either of them to feel they have to be "poster children" for Choice Kids. For now, my nearly 3-year-old son is still trying to put basic sentences together, so

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-1165853736388152752006-12-11T09:46:00.000-06:002006-12-13T12:40:55.045-06:00

I'm working on an update to my "Choosing Single Motherhood" book that includes the voices of more of our kids. I will also publish a booklet in 2007 that specifically cites the comments of Choice Kids in describing the pros and cons of having a single mom as parent. As a refresher, here are some of the comments from grown Choice Kids that I interviewed for the first edition of my book: * “My

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-1165072031807166762006-12-02T09:05:00.000-06:002006-12-11T09:44:31.116-06:00

When news hit recently that out-of-wedlock births in the U.S. have climbed to an all-time high, there was a predictable wailing and gnashing of teeth by some commentators about how bad this is for the children. I know hundreds of single women who have become mothers, through conception or adoption. There are actually tens of thousands of women embracing this choice each year, most in their 30s,

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-1162871028225278232006-11-06T21:08:00.001-06:002006-11-06T21:43:48.226-06:00

Before I lose some of you simply with the title, let me say that I don't normally interact well. Although I write at great length about the importance of support networks in my "Choosing Single Motherhood" book, including discussion in the Conclusion of moments of interaction that had a profound effect on me, I'm still a relatively isolated person. I don't "walk the talk" as well as I would like.

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-1157989917837240182006-09-11T10:28:00.000-05:002006-09-11T10:55:39.106-05:00

I'm writing from San Diego, where I recently spoke to the Reproductive Council of the American Association of Tissue Banks. Weird place for me to find myself, yes. But I was invited to talk to roughly 30 sperm bank directors and accreditors about the concerns Choice Moms (and others I've interviewed for a pending book) have about the insemination industry AFTER they've conceived and have a live,

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-1156197333036599782006-08-21T16:51:00.000-05:002006-08-24T09:32:13.643-05:00

I consider myself to be a good, loving, nurturing parent. Yet as my two-year-old son insisted on being outside in the lovely 70-degree sun, I bemoaned the fact that his unwillingness to play inside was depriving me of valuable work time. I consider myself to be an independent, unconventional woman who shows by example that following your own passions and dreams, however unpopular, is a liberated

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-1117335560413113862005-05-28T21:45:00.000-05:002006-08-21T16:50:03.546-05:00

I'm crazy for starting this. I have a 6-year-old daughter and a 16-month-old son, and I'm maybe a month away from publishing a book for women thinking of becoming single moms. Because I haven't made any serious income in two years--due to the book-writing process -- I'm finally starting to take some freelance writing assignments. I'm itching to return to writing a novel I shelved a while ago...my

Choice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.com