Online Dating Ebooks

Common signs your partner may be cheating on you

2008-07-17T04:48:00.000-07:00

An unfaithful husband, cheating wife, any kind of disloyal partner, is an ugly prospect. And that feeling of being betrayed by someone we thought we could trust more than anyone else is one of the worst. People who discover their partners have been unfaithful to them go through a hurricane of different emotions – anger, sadness, shame, dejection, sometimes even relief. It’s a grieving process, not of a person that’s died, but of a relationship and level of trust that’s instantly disintegrated. In short, it sucks.

But before you can begin “grieve” that loss of trust, or simply throw caution to the wind and ditch your partner for good, you need to make absolutely sure your reaction will be 100% warranted. You need to know without doubt whether your lover has, in fact, double-crossed you by looking for, finding, and partaking in, an affair.

The only guaranteed way of knowing this, aside from finding damning physical evidence or seeing the affair with your own eyes (both pretty rare), is by hearing a confession straight from the horse’s mouth, by communicating your suspicions with your partner and listening to what they have to say – however heartbreaking or relieving their response might be. But before you take that big step, there are a few simpler and smaller steps you can take to make the whole process, the whole “investigation” and confrontation of your partner, easier and more factually accurate.

The first thing you should do is look for some of the most common signs/groups of signs people produce when they cheat. I’ve listed 3 of them below. Read over and think about each and carefully consider if they apply to you, your partner and your relationship.

1. Changes in sex drive and sexual behaviour.

Sex is almost always an integral part of a happy and healthy relationship between two people. So when one of the two, regardless of whether it’s the guy or the girl, begins to cheat, it doesn’t come as any surprise that changes in the way they feel about having sex with their partner can be brought about. There are two main ways these changes can manifest themselves. When the cheater initially begins their affair, they may – out of guilt and in an effort to avoid the newly formed affair being rumbled – actually increase the amount of attention they pay their real partners in bed. Conversely, and usually a little while after the affair has begun, the cheater may appear to have a loss of sex drive. They, for some reason, seem to not want to be intimate with you as much as they used to. Once again, this can be attributed to guilt, but more often it’s to do with a fear they’ll reveal their infidelity through they way they behave before, during and after having sex with you.

2. Peculiar changes in habits & schedule.

When people cheat, they invariably change their behaviour and/or habits in some way, small or large. The reason they cannot avoid these alterations is because, no matter how infrequently or secretly they see the person they’re having an affair with, they MUST – at some point or another – go out of their way to do so (and thereby break or change habits and behaviour). So, look for recent and pronounced modifications in the times they come home/leave the house (and whether the changed times ‘repeat’ weekly), increased usage of the phone or computer for no obvious/innocent reason, and other differences in the way your partner acts and behaves. You know your partner’s old habits and ways of living better than anyone, so draw from that knowledge to compare how they might have changed them and to decide if the changes are to be taken as possible indications of betrayal.

3. Miscellaneous indicators of infidelity.

Lastly, there’s the group of infidelity indicators that don’t fit in any other box or under any other title. They’re the things you notice, question and cannot innocently explain away. They’re the things you spot but almost choose to forget because you’re so unsure of what they may or may not mean and whether, ultimately, they are true signs that your partner is cheating on you with someone else. Here are just a couple of miscellaneous indications of infidelity:

A. Your partner no longer seems to get angry with you when in the past they always seemed to be picking a fight or getting worked up over any tiny issue. Cheaters often ‘let their partners off’ because they want as little confrontation (which could lead to a discovery on your part) as possible.

B. She or he frequently shifts the focus onto you. Cheaters often asks their partners more questions about how their day went, how they’re feeling, etc, again, to shift the attention away from them and their guilt.

Remember, when you suspect your partner may be cheating, always take the smaller steps – by looking for the kinds of subtle signs listed above – before taking the biggest step of all: confronting them. Doing so will give you the very best chance of a happy, or at least a more manageable, final outcome.

For more ways to catch a cheating spouse, go to this page sponsor BeatingCheating!

A Woman’s Online Dating Don’ts

2008-06-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

There are some things that women should never do in an online relationship with a man. These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him.

While chatting online or by email do not write your life story. His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair. Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details... then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks. For instance: If he asks how many siblings you have, he is not asking for the details of your interaction with them. He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have two, or whatever is true, and then ask how many he has. For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him. Nothing turns a man off like a long-winded woman, who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen.

Never, ever, ever lie. Lies will catch up with you sooner or later. Many women, and men too, lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles. That is a huge mistake. If you find a man, who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing. So, just be honest. There is someone out there who will like you... even come to love you... for exactly the person you are.

Don’t be too eager. It makes you look desperate and it really puts a man off. They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the person of their desires to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest. Don’t push for a face-to-face meeting; don’t email them or IM them too frequently. Play it safe and play it cool.

Relationship With Parents Can Be Key To A Fulfilling Marriage

2008-05-27T03:22:00.000-07:00

A husband's lack of emotional separation from his parents can make - or break - a new marriage, according to a study on marital adjustment in newlywed couples.

The researchers surveyed 25 heterosexual couples who were 18-30 years old and had been married between 6-13 months. The couples were asked how much they felt they were psychologically detached from their parents, and how much they had established themselves as distinct individuals. Each spouse was also asked whether they felt they got along as a couple, whether they were satisfied with the marriage, whether they received enough affection and whether they agreed enough on various issues.

"A husbands' lack of independence from both his parents," said Dr. Amstutz-Haws, "was the biggest predictor for both spouses not adjusting very well to the new marriage. Both spouses reported higher levels of adjustment and satisfaction in their marriage when the husbands were free from excessive guilt, anxiety, mistrust, responsibility, inhibition, resentment and anger in relation to their mothers. The couples were also better adjusted in their new marriage when the husband possessed a greater ability to manage and direct practical affairs without the help of their fathers."

"We were also able to determine the difference between how men and women separate themselves from their parents and how that affects the marital relationship," said the authors. "Wives' adjustment to marriage seemed to depend on how well the husbands separated from their parents. Whereas husbands' adjustment to marriage depended on how well both spouses separated from their parents' influence."

Finding Someone Right For You

2008-05-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

You do not have to be alone; and there is more than one partner for you if you are willing to change your attitudes and put in a little effort. You must give up certain myths, time-honored beliefs, and begin to take charge of your romantic life. Romance is no different than any other aspect of your life. It requires that you take the responsibility for making it happen.

Your perfect partner is not going to materialize out of thin air and appear in your living room. You must develop a plan of action and then act upon it. Many folks are very sincere about their desires to be involved with another person, but are not committed to making it happen. Sincerity is an attitude, while commitment is an action. Sincerity without action does not make anything happen.

Let's take a critical look at some common myths about romance.

Myth 1: Luck is the essence of romance.

Luck has very little to do with romance, other than to maintain the illusion that we are helpless pawns in the game of love. Most folks engage in their search for a partner and then hope for the best. These people have no expectation of winning. Many people approach romance in the same way that they approach a gambling table in Las Vegas. They put their dollar on the crap table, roll the dice, and pray. Professional gamblers, however, do everything in their power to increase the odds in their favor. And serious people do everything in their power to increase their possibilities of meeting the person of their dreams.

I am reminded of the story of a young man who regularly prays to God to win the lottery. Day after day, week after week he prays and prays and nothing happens. Then one day, in the middle of his prayers, he hears thunder and lightening and the voice of God booms down upon him. "Charlie, meet me half way, buy a ticket." People tend to pray, wish, hope, and dream about finding their ideal mate, but they seldom develop a strategy or plan of action. They spend more time and energy planning a dinner party than the most important human relationship of their lives.

Myth 2: Marriages are made in heaven.

This myth is similar to the first one in that it assumes that relationships are preordained, out of the hands of ordinary mortals. It assumes that we do not have any control over the mates we end up with and that we must settle for those that we find. Human beings make choices. Many of them are poor choices -- especially when it comes to mate selection.

While this myth has romantic overtones, it denies human beings responsibility for their choices. It leaves us at the mercy of some fictitious master plan governing our lives and the freedom to choose is obviated.

If, indeed, marriages were made in heaven, then God made a great many mistakes. Rather than attribute those mistakes to God, we should exercise our God-given right to choose and learn how to make more effective choices. God doesn't provide us with a mate--rather God provides us with the ability to choose.

Myth 3: There is only one partner that is perfect for each of us.

If this were the case, then it would not be possible for people to have happiness in a marriage after the death of a spouse. Clearly, since people do indeed find happiness in second and even third marriages, there is more than one potential mate available for each of us. Our job is to increase the probabilities of finding those potential partners.

To find these potential mates we must develop a strategy. Just as there is more than one house we can fall in love with, there is more than one potential mate. If we increase the pool of available partners, we can then fall in love with any one of them. The trick is to set up our criteria, take appropriate actions, and then allow for nature to take its course.

A friend decided that he wanted to marry a woman who was beautiful, had considerable financial backing, and was of the same religion as he. He only dated women after he checked their family's financial standing with Dunn and Bradstreet, who belonged to his church, and whom he found to be beautiful. By surrounding himself with rich, beautiful women of the same religion, he could then allow himself to fall in love with any one of them.

What About Romance?

Romance and love at first sight are integral to our fantasies about mate selection. We love to hear stories about how people fall in love. We love the notion of two people gazing across a crowded room, eyes meeting, and love is in bloom. More often than not these people are in lust, not love. But this is not to say it cannot happen. However, it is unlikely.

More often love grows between two people who have a common connection. It is the common connection that binds us, love then blooms in the soil of mutual interest, mutual respect, and friendship. An intentional strategy for mate selection can increase the odds of this happening.

Think, for example, of the process we go through in selecting our "dream house." First we develop an idea of what we are looking for: one story, Mediterranean style, four bedrooms, large yard, in a particular geographic area, near schools, etc. We establish a price range. We may even get quite specific, because, after all, we will be spending a lot of time and money in this house. We want to insure, as best possible, that we will be happy in it. (Yet when it comes to choosing a mate we will go to a bar and hope we get lucky.)

Next we contact a real estate agent and tell the agent our requirements. We also drive around various neighborhoods on our own, read magazines and newspapers, make inquiries; in short we do our homework. Then the agent begins to show us around. Not infrequently we may spend many months and view many houses, sometimes hundreds of houses and even years, depending upon our particular preferences. All along the way we are collecting information and fine tuning our choices.

Finally, one day, we step out of the agent's car and find ourselves standing in front of our dream house; it's love at first sight! And that's what we will tell people. We eliminate the fact that we spent many hours, months, years, looking, searching, and refining before the "dream house." A similar approach should be used for mate selection. Only with mate selection it is even more difficult since the mate has to choose you as well, whereas the house does not.

Keep Your Love Relationship Passionate, Alive and Growing

2008-05-13T02:23:00.000-07:00

When we’re asked about love relationships, one of the biggest questions is always this — "How do I keep my relationship alive, passionate and growing after all these years?"

Our answer is simple — Create a red hot love relationship.

The next question is usually — "What is a red hot love relationship and how do we create one?"

To us, a red hot love relationship is one where there’s deep love and connection, mixed with desire and passion that lasts for the entire duration of the relationship. It’s monogamous, with the two people totally committing to each other, to their growth as individuals, as well as to their growth as a couple.

A red hot love relationship is one that is built on a foundation of openness, with each person communicating honestly from the heart. It’s built on mutual trust, with the agreement that when trust is broken, it will be rebuilt as soon as possible. A red hot relationship is one in which mutual appreciation flows like water.

Most of all a red hot relationship is built on a desire and a commitment to keep passion and love alive.

So how do you create one?

Here are some tips that we can offer you…

Decide what you want in a love relationship and what you want your particular red hot relationship to look like. You may feel like you just "fell" into your relationship but know that it’s never too late to start creating what you want. Take some time to find out what it is that you want.

Learn some new skills and start doing the things daily that will keep your connection and your love strong—and will make it even stronger. If you want more appreciation, start appreciating your partner more.

It’s all a matter of choice and anything is possible in your life.

Know that it is possible to create a love relationship or marriage filled with all the love, passion, and connection that you would ever want—and keep it going throughout the years.

Know that a red hot love relationship that lasts is possible. We’ve been able to create it in our relationship with each other and so can you.

All you need are a few simple shifts in your thinking and some new skills and you’re all set. Discover 77 new skills, ideas and strategies to turn up the heat in your love relationship in (and out of) the bedroom at Red Hot love Relationships.

Passion Keys

2008-04-10T06:51:00.001-07:00

If you are tired of trying to figure out the quickest way to get your man to be more romantic, to desire you more intimately, and fall madly in love with you, then you have come to the right place.

Passion Keys Is Your Answer.

Most women in romantic relationships today are not getting the kind of love they desire and deserve, while those women that are still single have no clue how to get the man they want.

Passion Keys Is A How-To Manual For Making Your Man Fall Passionately In Love With You over and over again...

Seven Ways to Find Time for Romance

2008-03-30T06:05:00.001-07:00

When a relationship first started, it is usually accompanied by hot passion and sizzling romance. It fills you up, and you feel like you’re at the top of the world. It’s indeed a great feeling to have another person’s unconditional love and full attention.

However, over time, this feeling wades. The relationship matures into something more stable, less sensational. People simply get use to each other, and the bursting emotional scale recedes back to normal range.

This is a normal relationship cycle. A sustainable long term relationship does not necessarily mean you are constantly feeling ‘high’ with love. On the other hand, it does not mean that we should allow the romance to degenerate into a monotonous, mundane issue between two people. Couple in love should consciously make an effort to make sure the romance does not wither or fade away as the years go by.

Finding the romance in a long term relationship does take some effort from both parties. It means setting aside time and effort from your busy schedule to maintain and invigorate the relationship.

Here are seven tips to help you finding the romance:

Take Holiday Breaks Together

Getting away together for a week or two is the best way to finding romance. It does not necessarily have to be a luxurious getaway; just somewhere away from the normal buzz of life. Throw your work aside and get away to somewhere where two of you will not be disturbed; where you can fully enjoy each other’s company.

Celebrate

Celebrate each other’s birthday, anniversaries, and Christmas every year. It does not need to be a grand celebration; just a quiet, cozy dinner, and exchanging of small gifts. Gift exchange is some excitement into the relationship.

Do Something Different Together

Have new experiences together. Go roller-blading, hiking, or even sign up for the half-marathon. Or try going to a new restaurant, a new park; anything that is different to break the monotony of your routine. A fresh experience every once in a while brings fresh perspectives and rejuvenates your relationship.

Separation

Separation does make the heart go fondle. If handled well, small separations do help to rekindle the romance in your relationship. Make it a point to call your partner everyday when you is overseas. Talk about your feelings.

Appreciate Each Other

Even though it may seem obvious, make it a point to show your partner how much you appreciate him or her. A sincere ‘I love you’ and warm, cuddly hug once in a while certainly drives home the message.

Spend Time With Yourself

A healthy relationship requires time away from each other as well. By spending time with yourself, to think about your life and what you want, it allows you to come back to the relationship as a positive and healthy person. The basis of any healthy relationship is two healthy, positive people coming together.

Be Present

The most important tip of all; be present. It is important that you take conscious efforts to romance each other; before it degenerates into a dull relationship of two people taking each other for granted.

Finding romance does not necessarily mean that you need to bring back the hot feeling you felt when you were in your teens. Depending on your age, personality and the maturity of your relationship, it can also be just a simple session together and enjoying each other’s company. It’s these small things that make a huge difference in the long run.

27 things every man needs to know

2008-03-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

10 women secrets you need to know

- All women like surprises; women believe they should be surprised at least once a month.
- All women have fantasies. A man should take the time to find out her fantasy.
- Women want a man to be sensitive yet fight for them if they needed to.
- Women want a man to be gentle and rough at the same time.
- Women want to be told they're beautiful, then after a time told they're sexy.
- Women want their man to notice when another man tries to pick them up, but refrain from jealousy.
- Women will alter their appearance with a new hairstyle or buy something skimpy for themselves, not a man.
- A woman will groom herself that day if there is a chance for her to meet someone that night.
- Women believe in the fairytale and will look at most men in the first 30 seconds as if they could be the prince they have been looking for.
- If a woman really likes a man, she will spend all day trying to look good for him and still not feel perfect, yet at times she will not be made up and feel perfect.

10 ways make yourself attractive to woman

- Be confident in who you are.
- Have a sense of humor.
- Show good manners.
- Be respectful.
- Be controversial.
- Be sensitive.
- Ask her what she wants and likes.
- Don't just tell her you do, but put your trust in her.
- Tell her about one time your feelings got hurt.
- Kiss her softly, then kiss her passionately.

7 sure-fire ways to repulse a woman

- Tell her what you don't want her to wear.
- Look at another woman while talking to her.
- Show her that you have no direction in your life.
- Be too proud of your qualities.
- Drink too much or have a serious addiction.
- Insult her style, friends or family.
- Use stupid pickup lines like: "Do you want to have sex?" "Can I smell your roses?" "Baby, that's the sweetest butt I've ever seen!" "Hey you, come here!"

Hopefully these 27 tips will help you understand a woman better. Do you know that MOST Relationships and Marriages can be Long-Lasting if only you would Understand the Woman in your life?

You can absolutely transform your relationship and/or marriage with your woman once you understand why she thinks and behave the way she does! If you really like the idea to learn why your partner think, feel and behave the ways as she does, you will love 500 Secrets About Girls Every Guy Should Know.

Top Date Ideas

2008-02-26T04:47:00.000-08:00

Stop worrying about where to go and what to do, these inexpensive dates will have any new girlfriend clambering for more & put the passion and fun back into any existing relationship, guaranteed!

The little things start to annoy you, you fight more, you are upset and disappointed with your partner. That is unfortunately very natural unless you work at keeping the bond between you strong! It doesn't matter if you have been married for 30 years, or if you are just starting out, having interesting and fun dates where you can bond and grow together is vital to your relationship.

Most people continue as if there are no problems! We forget that a successful relationship needs nurturing, so we never plan time for it. Welcome to get ideas from all over the place, exciting, original ideas that were less work that a meal and a movie, more fun and cost less too - unbelievable? Not at all when you see them!

Some of these things you can do in an hour or two, or make them last all day, and never spend a dime, yet afterwards you will have bonded with your partner like you haven't in years. You will be closer than ever before and then on the next date, well you will just get even closer and fall even more in love!

Every month you can have the latest and greatest ideas delivered to you instantly. One for almost every day of the month so it doesn't matter how much time you want to spend together, you will always have something new to try!

Let's take a quick look at the content you are going to get instant access to!

Online Dating - Give it a try

2008-02-17T05:10:00.000-08:00

More and more people are meeting and falling in love online. Today's statistics show online dating to be just as popular, if not more popular in some areas, as traditional dating methods. With the thousands and thousands of members joining daily and the number of individuals seeking to find love online increasing, it's harder than ever to meet someone through more traditional methods!

A good online dating service is filled with hundreds, if not thousands of members, all searching for someone to meet. With that many available members all looking for love, it is nearly impossible to not be able to find someone! Online dating allows everyone to be comfortable talking with new people and having the opportunity to meet someone they like.

Online dating services do not require any commitment or obligation, and free trial periods allow members to decide whether they really like the service before agreeing to the monthly fee. With your entire love life at stake, it makes sense to try it out! Most importantly, remember how many others are searching online for love. You might be out trying more traditional methods while the love of your life is sitting on the couch, browsing Internet profiles for you! With absolutely no risk and nothing to lose, it's worth the chance. If you do not like it, you can quit right there. Give it a try!

4 Easy Tips for the Post 35 Man

2008-02-12T02:37:00.000-08:00

36-year-old Canadian named Mystery, star of VH1's "The Pick-up Artist" reveals what it takes to set yourself apart from 3.3 billion other men out there.

Be seen with other women.

"When women see that you're accepted by other women, it communicates that you have something to offer them—I call this one 'pre-selection.' Plus, it doesn't matter if it's at the gym, at a PTA meeting, or with friends at a nightclub, beautiful women are always found in groups. Accept it, embrace it, and show them you can hang."

Bring the competition with you.

"Having your friends around you shows women that you have a committed social circle. You're communicating that you are loyal and that if they were in a relationship with you, they'd have a support system of great friends that they could align themselves with."

Leave your doormat at home.

"Women give us shit because they want to know that we're normal, that we have the same emotions as they do, and that we won't keep things bottled up. They test us to see how we'll respond. So if you're upset about something she does, let her know; don't just smile as if nothing is wrong. You're not impressing her with your maturity; you're saying either 'I'm a pushover' or 'I'm a time bomb.'"

Take risks.

"Karaoke? Sure. Salsa dancing? Bring it on. Stepping outside your comfort zone and successfully taking risks translates to reproductive success in the minds of women. If you're a successful risk taker, then, should you ever have children together, not only will you be able to adapt to the challenge of child rearing, but it also stands to reason that you will produce children who will be successful risk takers too."

Single Women Love Valentine's Day

2008-02-12T02:02:00.000-08:00

According to the U.S. Census Bureau there are more single women than men in America. Traditionally, Valentine's Day has been a day for couples, sharing a romantic dinner out, exchanging flowers, cards, and loving sentiments. But what if you're single?

Valentine's Day can evoke feelings of low self-esteem, loneliness and depression for millions of single women. However, according to a recent dating poll of 2,636 single women 68 percent of women love celebrating Valentine's Day, whereas 23 percent felt "indifferent" towards it and 8 percent said they felt "Valentine's Day was created to increase sales and is pointless."

Among the new social networking sites which focus on finding a date, more single women are finding support and community with other women at sites like most popular women's forums where women share dating advice and receive support overcoming past relationships. One single 27-year old woman confessed, "Every year I get depressed and lonely on Valentine's Day because I'm still single." In addition, Valentine's Day puts tremendous pressure on men to profess their love. So what should single women do when they are bombarded with commercial images of love and see happy couples embraced when they are all alone?

Stephany Alexander, dating expert, suggests "Valentine's Day is not just for couples anymore." According to Alexander, one of the top ways for single women to celebrate Valentines Day is to enjoy the benefits of being single. Here are a few tips for single women:

1. Having a relationship does not define your identity. You define your identity. Recognize that if you are single, you aren't alone and you can still celebrate the love in your life through other important relationships.

2. Understand that Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday that is mainly about sales; selling jewelry, flowers, candy and booking restaurant reservations. The National Retail Federation estimates that Americans spend $13 billion each year on Valentine's gifts. You can choose not to be part of the consumer hype and make your Valentine's day more memorable.

3. Decide what your definition Valentine's Day is. Is it a day you want to celebrate or is it just another day? If it's just another day, simply go about your routine as usual and mark a date on your calendar when you wish to celebrate all forms of love in your life.

4. If you are recently single celebrate the day with other singles. Make plans with friends or family who already love you whether you are single or not. Do not let a couple-emphasized society define your choices.

5. Plan to do something for yourself in advance. Don't make reservations at a restaurant on Valentine's Day or you will surround yourself with couples which may depress you. Instead, rent your favorite DVD, take a long, decadent candle-lit bubble bath, treat yourself to buy an item from your favorite shop or book a day at a spa.

6. If you love being single, celebrate it, and not just on Valentine's Day. Use this particular day to try something new. Take up a new hobby, work on a project or work on yourself. People who never marry or are single can have close, loving relationships and lives worth living.

7. Volunteer. Spend Valentine's Day giving and sharing your time to help others. You may be able to give and receive more love by volunteering as a single than many couples do following the traditional route.

8. Take steps to meet someone new. If you aren't happy being single, it is up to you to take action to change your situation. Put yourself out there. Consider trying on line dating, take up a hobby where you can meet some men such as golf, or ask your family and friends to set you up.

9. Celebrate love with your pet. Hang out with your pet and if you don't have one, head to your local animal shelter and adopt. Nothing is better than a pet who loves you unconditionally, cuddles and is warm and soft.

10. Single mothers out there, lucky you! You already have a Valentine and you can spoil your son or daughter by baking something special or simply spending time with them.

"Valentine's Day is for being grateful about love in all its forms which can be everything from loving a parent or grandparent, to loving your child or a friend," says Alexander. "It can even be as simple as celebrating your love for a pet." However, as Whitney Houston once sang, the greatest gift of all is learning to love yourself." Happy Valentine's Day!

How You Can Save Your Marriage

2008-01-29T02:16:00.000-08:00

Is your marriage in trouble? Do you see your relationship on the brink of divorce? You are not alone.

by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D

Each year in America alone, nearly 1 million marriages end in divorce. This is an incredible number! That would be as if all the citizens of Houston Texas were divorced (each divorce leaves 2 people).

The question is how many of those marriages could be saved. Unfortunately, that is an invisible number. If your marriage stays together, it is hard to find in the statistics. As Marian Wright Edelman wrote, statistics are stories with the tears washed off. Yet many marriages that should have made it do not.

Can your marriage be saved? If I could answer that, I would be a wealthy man. I can tell you that if your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing, the outcome is guaranteed. If you do something, there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved. As Wayne Gretzky says, "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

And I can tell you, in four simple steps what you can do to save your marriage. You can start right now. But you must understand that I said "simple." That is not the same as "easy." These steps are not easy. They do, however, give you a path that you must follow if you want to change the destiny of a marriage in trouble.

These are the 4 steps:

1. Quit the blame game.

Stop blaming your spouse and stop blaming yourself. This is the first step because marriages get frozen into a pattern of blame that immobilizes any prospect of progress. Instead, the momentum gets dragged down and down.

Blame is our way of avoiding seeing ourselves clearly. It is much easier to point the finger somewhere and say "It's their fault." But in marriage, you can just as easily turn that pointing finger on yourself and place the blame there, saying "it's all my fault."

Unfortunately, blame feels good in the short-term, but in the long-term, it prevents any shift or change. So, even if you can make a long list of why you or your spouse should be blamed, forget it. Even if that list is factual, it will not help you put your marriage back together. Blame is the fuel of divorces.

2. Take responsibility.

Decide you can do something. Change always begins with one person who wants to see a change. Understand that taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame (see above).

Instead, blame is saying "regardless of who is at fault, there are some things I can do differently, and I am going to do them." What buttons do you allow your spouse to push? What buttons do you push with your spouse? Decide not to allow those buttons to be pushed and stop pushing the buttons.

What amazes me in my counseling is that everyone knows what they should be doing or not doing. But it is difficult to move in that direction. Don't be caught in that. Decide that you will take action.

The difference between blame and responsibility is this: if I am in a burning building, I can stand around trying to figure out who started the blaze, why it has spread so quickly, and who I am going to sue when it is over (blame), or I can get myself and anyone else I can out of that building (taking responsibility). When a marriage is in trouble, the house is on fire. How will you take action to save the marriage?

3. Get resources from experts.

If others have been helped, you can be, too. Experts with a great deal more perspective and experience can be a real help in these situations. Do your research and divide the useless from the useful, then take advantage of the useful.

Don't assume that your situation is so different from every other situation. I can tell you that after 20-some years of providing therapy, not too much new comes through my doors. Don't get me wrong; the story changes, but the dynamics are the same.

Remember what Albert Einstein said, "The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them." In other words, what got you into trouble will not get you out of trouble. That requires a whole new level of thinking. And that is what you get from an outside expert, someone with a fresh perspective.

4. Take action.

More damage is done by doing nothing by taking a misstep. It is too easy to get paralyzed by the situation. Therapists often talk about "analysis paralysis." This occurs when people get so caught up in their churning thoughts and attempts to "figure things out" that they never take action.

It is not enough to simply understand what is causing the problem. You must then act! On a daily basis, I find people coming to my office with the belief that if they can just understand their problem, it will resolve itself. That simply does not happen. Resolution of the situation takes action.

Will your marriage be saved? If you follow my suggestions, you have infinitely more opportunity for saving your marriage than if you do nothing. Marriage is one of those places where it takes two to make it work, but only one to really mess things up. You can only do your part, but many times, that is enough. Resolve not to ask the question but to begin to act.

Lee Baucom, Ph.D. has been a consultant for Dateline NBC and has been featured in national magazines for his unique and effective approach to saving marriages.

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. - Creator of Save The Marriage Ebook.

A Better Way to Date

2008-01-23T19:11:00.000-08:00

The Very Best Ways To Meet Others. Get the inside scoop on how and where to meet attractive, interesting single men and women. If you are sick of night clubs and bars, these Twenty surefire ways to meet others will be a real eye-opener!

EXPOSED: The most common first date mistakes and how to avoid them. Men and women have been making these mistakes for years. What's the real secret to a successful first date?

How to build a strong and successful relationship. When you've found that special someone, learn the best methods for building a fantastic relationship that doesn't grow stale.

The package will give you all the steps you need to develop the relationship with your perfect partner in the right way so that you two can share a lifetime of love. There are a lot of men and women who go out with each other and would be great potential partners, but the mistakes they make when they date each other often destroys their future happiness. Click here to learn more!

From Friend To Boyfriend

2007-12-26T23:05:00.000-08:00

One of the most frequent questions I am asked is "How do I go from being a friend to being a boyfriend?".

by The Player

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that this is easy to do, but it can be done. The best way to avoid getting into a situation like this in the future is to show a romantic interest in each attractive woman you meet immediately, that way you will never end up in the "friends category".

However, many of you may already be classified as a "friend" to a woman that you are interested in starting a relationship with. If that is the case, this is what you need to do:

You must let her know how you feel right now! The longer you linger in the "friends category" the less your chance of success will be. Do not worry about what she will say, that does not matter because if she rejects you the friendship will end... which is a GOOD thing.

It is not good for your ego & self confidence to hang around a girl that you want to be with when the feelings are not mutual, the longer this goes on the more your confidence levels will drop... and can ultimately effect your game with other women, dramatically.

With that in mind you should now know what needs to be done. You need to decide if you are going to step up to the plate and put it all on the line (I told you it was not easy). If you do, she will look at you in a whole new way because you had the balls to ask her out, since she probably already has the impression that you are scared to express your feelings for her (she knows that you like her... you may not think so, but trust me... she does).

When you tell her how you feel you must do it in a smooth and confident manner... in such a way that will surprise and impress her. Here are a few examples that you can use and change to fit your needs:

"(her name), I think that it is obvious that I am interested in you as more than a friend... I like you a lot and I think, or at least hope that the feeling is mutual. What do you say we start slow and see what happens, sound good?"

"(her name), we have been friends for a while now, and when I picture the ideal girlfriend in my head all I think of is you... we are so close I don't see any reason why we should not step our relationship up to the next level... what do you say we give it a try?"

Now the example below is the most effective... but only works if her friends (that are girls) think you are a decent guy :

"(her name), I think you are a good friend and all, but I don't want to be your friend... I want to be your boyfriend. I like you a lot and I think, or at least hope that the feeling is mutual. I think we should start off slow and see what happens... but I don't want you to answer right now, give it some thought first..."

If she attempts to answer you right away cover her mouth and shake your head while saying "I told you, do not answer right now... even if you are going to say yes, think about it for a while".

You want to do this because the next thing every woman would do after being propositioned in such a way is call her closest friends to tell them what has just happened to her. Even if you are only slightly "in" with her friends, they will respond by saying things like "He's so sweet" or "That's so romantic", and they will definitely give her the thumbs-up on this one.

Women are GREATLY influenced by their friend's opinions, and if she gets a green light from them... she will definitely hit the gas.

The Player is the author of the ground breaking seduction guide The Player's Black Book.

How to Get a Girl to Like You

2007-12-20T18:26:00.000-08:00

We've all had that special woman in our lives. You know... the one with the sweet personality, the really nice hair and a perfect face. She dates the more "adept" guys... but how can you get her to like you?

By John Alexander

While men are primarily attracted to women based on their looks, a woman finds a man attractive because of his personality. A ideal man is an alpha male who's confident in himself and not afraid to take the lead and get what he wants out of life.

Ironically, what this means then is that the best way for a girl to like you is when she feels like she has EARNED you.

That's because to get a girl to like you, you should come from a mindset of high value. Never come from a position of neediness.

So the best attitudes to have towards any one particular woman are:

1. Nonchalance.

2. Non-attachment to whether she likes you or not. (By that I mean, if she likes you that's awesome, but if not, there are tons of other chicks out there who are equally as great as she is.)

The bottom line is that a woman should never be a challenge for you. Instead you should be a challenge for her.

In addition to placing a high value on yourself, you can also eliminate neediness by building up your social network. Make friends with as many women as you can. (Women are easy to make friends with.)

Also date as many women as you can... don't restrict yourself only to dating "that one special girl."

You see, the last thing you ever want to have going through your mind when you're around that special woman is, "God, I MUST have this girl! She's irreplaceable!" Having an abundance of women in your life will solve that problem.

Also, whenever a woman sees that other chicks are attracted to a guy, she too feels attraction. Psychologically, this is known as the "social proof" phenomenon... and it's much more powerful in women than men.

Ever noticed how your female friends drool over the guy at the corner of the bar who's got four babes at his table? That's social proof in action.

By the way, it's fine to think a girl is beautiful and to feel something strong for her.

Here's the key though... you must always remind yourself that there are LOTS of other women out there who are just as wonderful as that girl you really like.

If you start thinking that any girl is one of a kind, then that gives her power over you, and, ironically, makes her lose attraction to you.

So, you're free to think that a woman's amazing. Just remember that lots of other girls are amazing too. That way you won't become needy.

So remember, place a high value on yourself, make her earn your attention, and hang out with as many women as possible... those are the three secrets for how to get a girl to like you.

John Alexander is the developer of How to Become an Alpha Male, a seduction success system for men. Discover the excitement and pleasure of having gorgeous, horny women automatically drawn to you like a magnet.

Factors Of Attraction

2007-12-18T21:45:00.000-08:00

Attraction is an attention, affection and respect. To get success in attracting others including attention, affection and respect, you can walk on following ways.

Like attracts like
"There is a law of attraction", says Norman Peale "Like attracts like. Birds of a feather flock together". If you like or love someone then only expect someone to like you.

Giving is virtue. Do not count it.
God loves a cheerful giver. It is more blessed to give rather than to receive. Let your heart shares what you have with others. In society, people give or donate to show or represent their egos. Giving is most positive feeling. Give without expecting anything in return. It is not necessary to give big things only. This feeling comes from heart and only that make you pleasant.

Live out Humility
"Humility is not renunciation of pride but the substitution one pride for another", suggested Eric Hoffman. Charity, tolerance and humility have supreme value. Humility and inner peace go hand in hand. Believe in self rather proving to others. While cultivating humility stop ego which is nearest factor in this process.

Purity
"Faith attracts the heart," says Scheeben. Faith and patience are pre-condition of attraction or being attracted.

Saw the Desired
What we tell ourselves about our lives and ourselves day after day has a great effect. All the time, see and think of yourself as and attractive personality. Keep the image of it clearly before the mind. You will then attract all the things necessary to accomplish it. Be cheerful and hopeful no matter is positive.

Cheerful Face
Laughter is great wealth. Get your face cheerful. When you smile, your brain puts into action the "endorphins" – the natural pain relieving system of the body. Other than that, smile relaxes you. A smile wins friends. Give it freely to people. Andre Crippa says, "We do not completely love those at whom we cannot smile." It pleases others and lifts your own spirit. While attracting others keep in mind that a smile makes the distance between two people shortest.

Enthusiasm & Passion
It is mother of success. It brings money, power and influence. Ralph Emerson says "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Then how is it possible to attract without enthusiasm. Believe in your work. Love your every job you do. Get enthusiasm into your personality. Do not hold back because of feeling unsure about projecting enthusiasm. Enthusiasm can do wonders for you.

Manners
Good behavior, courtesy and kindness make others to believe in you. A good manner is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. – Jonathan Swift. It is a source of pleasure. It secures all the honors. Manner is not limited to only few people. Behave to everyone as if you were with great guest.

Control
"The senses have been conditioned by attraction to the pleasant and aversion to the unpleasant: a man should not be ruled by them; they are obstacles in his path." - Bhagavad Gita. Attraction develops into desire and desire breeds anger. Controlling attraction or being attracted above par is necessary.

There are five key factors of attraction: proximity, association, similarity, reciprocal liking, and, of course, physical attraction. While the physical features drive initial attraction, mental features drive long-term attraction. It is clear that confidence is key; humor and conversation are a huge turn on, and, instead of stressing about making yourself more attractive to someone else, just be yourself and be confident. And stick to your quirks - they are what make you, even if it's back dimples.

Sponsor: Factors Of Attraction - is 106 page guide where is everything you need to get the power to attract any woman at any time.

Wedding MC PaperBack Book

2007-12-09T23:04:00.000-08:00

If you're the wedding MC... you are about to discover the key to a successful reception. If you're the Bride or Groom... your stress-free reception starts here. Finally, a guide for anyone who has been asked to MC a wedding and needs to know exactly what to do to look and sound great - now!

This eBook has everything the wedding emcee needs to know to ensure the reception runs like clockwork. This is a fool-proof system designed to make the wedding MC experience an entirely hassle-free affair and save money - at the same time!

Wedding MC PaperBack Book will make anyone a confident, professional looking and sounding wedding Master of Ceremonies.

- Everything you need to perform the role of a Master of Ceremony is enclosed within the covers of this user-friendly guide.

- It contains checklists, run sheets, introductions, jokes, games and a fresh approach to speaking in public.

- There are stacks of ideas on how to handle nerves, advice on what $$$ to charge for your services, and word-for-word templates on what to say and how to say it.

- Written in an entertaining way, you will enjoy the experience of learning how to WOW an audience with the power of your personality.

- Written by 'MC of the Year' Pete Miller, this unique book gives you: word for word introductions, announcements & toasts, a tasteful selection of one-liners & telegrams, acting techniques to help deal with nerves, audience games, advice on fees & how to work as an MC and Compere, Checklists and much more.

- Every wedding can now be an entirely stress-free affair.

Get Your Ex Back No Matter The Situation

2007-12-03T20:00:00.000-08:00

No matter the situation, length of relationship, past history, age or status... These powerful concepts will reunite you and your love and give you a strong second chance.

A painful breakup, whether it be one from a long term committed relationship or a budding romance, can be emotional and physically taxing. Loneliness can manifest into depression, severe anxiety and distrust of not only those around you but more importantly of yourself.

GetBackTogetherNow offers seven unique steps to better appreciate and respect your partner and yourself as a couple and as healthy individuals. GetBackTogetherNow system have a proven track record of success regardless of age, race, gender or length of relationship. Once you understand how to sustain the intimacy and chemistry vital to your success, you will be able to thrive as friends and lovers.

If you adhere to the seven steps featured in the online audio course, your ex will be yours once again. Take control now. Swallow your pride now. With a few minutes of your time you will be given the secrets to what you must do to get back together. It is fast, painless, and it does not matter what situation you are in.

The Secrets Of Flirting With Men

2007-11-23T01:59:00.000-08:00

Flirting is what makes love exciting - whether you're married or single. The ability to flirt is the single most important lovelife skill that every woman needs to master. When you are a true Flirt at heart, you can have the lovelife of your dreams - for the rest of your life.

Look back and remember many times flirting has made your heart beat faster! This kind of flirting that can happen anywhere, any time - with someone you don't know, or with the man you've been married to for twenty years and will cause a man to be devoted to you for the rest of his life.

Getting the attention of any man can sometimes be tough, especially getting the right kind of attention! How To Flirt course is your secret resource to build your confidence and have heart-racing fun in the process.

The Secrets Of Flirting With Men is the quickest, easiest, and best way to discover how to flirt. Inside this E-Course, you'll get absolutely everything any woman needs to know in order to flirt with every piece of alluring, romantic "ammunition" at your disposal.

The Woman Men Adore... and Never Want To Leave

2007-11-19T04:27:00.000-08:00

Do you want to know How To Captivate A Man, Make Him Fall In Love With You And Give You The World!

If you're a single woman, what is the value of becoming totally irresistible to men, attracting the man of your dreams, making him fall in love with you, marry you and give you everything your heart desires?

If you're a married woman, how would your life improve when you reignite the spark in your marriage, make your husband fall in love with you all over again, enjoy deeper intimacy with him, and have an enduring marriage?

What is the value of not wasting any more time trying to figure men out, and read them like a book instead -- or having the ability to easily diffuse quarrels, arguments, and other relationship troubles as they occur, and be able to effortlessly influence your man to your way of thinking?

This is the Last Relationship Book You'll Ever Read. The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave is the "first and last of its kind" relationship book that will show you how to completely understand men once and for all – and use that understanding to create the relationship of your dreams.

Restore The Flame - Before It’s Too Late

2007-11-05T03:28:00.000-08:00

Restore The Flame - Before It’s Too Late is the only guide to restoring the closeness, passion, and adoration couples once felt for each other using a combination of ancient mystique and modern insight.

Whatever state your relationship is in right now, it can be better if you and your partner are willing to put these lessons into practice! Whether you’re a man or a woman, you can ignite the flames of desire and ensure your partner doesn’t seek pleasure in the arms of a stranger!

Restore the Flame - Before it’s Too Late will enhance your relationship with specific, easy-to-follow instructions so that neither of you has to feel embarrassed or unsure of what to do next!

How to Get Your Man Back

2007-10-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

When a man leaves a relationship, and the woman wonders where she went wrong, and tries desperately to get him back, that's actually a common pattern in man-woman relationships. It certainly causes a lot of distress in women - but the good news is that there's an easy solution to this problem!

Most women do not have a clue as to how to effectively win back a man who has lost interest in them. Men respond to things differently than women - and they're not hardwired to understand feelings the way women are. That's why talking about your feelings - and getting him to talk about his feelings - rarely works.

Most women think that words are going to tug at a man's heart strings, and make him fall to his knees begging for the woman to take him back. They don't. Words are for women. While it might make you feel good that you've written the most inspiring letter in the world, your letter won't have much of an impact on a man.

How to Get Your Man Back shows you how to understand what's really going on inside a man's heart in order to make him warm up to the idea of reconciling with you and how to sustain your relationship after he does come back to you.

Curing A Broken Heart

2007-10-30T23:07:00.000-07:00

Getting dumped hurts. Being on the giving rather than the receiving end doesn't feel a whole lot better either. Part of the process of looking for love is the reality that eventually you will get hurt. It's a fact of life and an eventual truth, one that we all have to live with. But just because you will get hurt, doesn't mean you have to lie down and take it. Your broken heart can be mended, fixed and repaired. You can become whole again.

When a relationship does end badly, it often seems like nothing can console you and put the pieces back together. Psychologists will tell you that the only thing to mend a broken heart is time. But who has the patience to wait for time? Here are some quick pieces of advice to help you recover your life after a breakup.

- Don’t make contact with your ex. This rule is number one because it’s serious. Don’t call, text, email or instant message your ex. It might be difficult, but it’s worth it.

- Remove all remnants from your life. Don’t save pictures or gifts. Throw anything that will remind you of your ex.

- Come to grips with the fact that it’s over. Don’t cling to the past, look towards a future without your ex.

- Don’t participate in a rebound relationship. Loneliness is a symptom, not a disease and once you push the loneliness off with fleeting relationship it will come back with a vengeance.

- Get out of your house. Nothing helps you feel more depressed than an extended stay in one place. Go to the store, go to the movies. Do anything that makes you get out among people.

- Exercise. Exercising releases endorphins in your system that will make you feel better even if you don’t feel like feeling better.

- Forgive your ex. This might be the hardest, but once you can do it, you’ve turned a major corner.

Use these suggestions and you should be ok. Breaking up with a long time partner can be a traumatic and excruciatingly painful experience, if you need more help, welcome to Curing A Broken Heart that has already helped hundreds of people who were struggling with the same situations that you are. Let it help you too.

Have a Great Looking Dating Profile in Minutes!

2007-10-30T22:14:00.000-07:00

Profile Idea is a collection of pre-written phrases-templates which give you profile writing ideas you can use to complete any online dating profile in a matter of minutes instead of hours. The collection consists of:

- Over 240 fully customizable suggestions on nice looking usernames

- Over 300 fully customizable suggestions on eye catching headlines

- Over 1,250 fully customizable snippets for "About me" and "Who you are looking for" essays.

Your personal profile is what makes a whole difference between success and failure. Your words is your first introduction to online dating and if you do it right from the start you are a winner, but if you screw it up you'll lose it all.

Create Your Perfect Dating Profile In Minutes!