Vita, Dulcedo, Spes

2010

2010-01-01T03:34:00.001-05:00

Heart full of joy.

And happiness.

And gratefulness.

And hope.

And love.

And possibility.

And the knowledge that, inevitably, bad things will happen. But for tonight, just tonight, just right now, things could barely be better, and as far as I'm concerned, this could be what the whole year is like.

Happy 2010, everyone. :-)

New year, new reads.

2009-12-31T12:28:00.004-05:00

Today is the last day of 2009. I think it's safe to say that this is the last day anyone will refer to the year as "Two-thousand number". Once we get out of the aughts it's going to be Twenty-Ten.

But who really cares about that? This is about me. Specifically, my reading goals.

It might be dumb for a graduate student who typically has hundreds of pages of not-light reading to do weekly (not to mention the constant stream of knitting projects she sets for herself) to set up a list of non-school books she wants to read, but I need to get back into reading. I mean, I've been reading the first Lord of the Rings book for four years now, and I'm finally tantalizingly close to the end. I could easily finish it today if I just sat down and read for an hour. Maybe less. But that's just pathetic. I have read lots of other books in between - I haven't just been reading this one book for four years. But still. It's a classic, and I can't believe it's taking me this long. So that's at the top of my list for 2010. Finish the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I also really want to read Quo Vadis. And maybe the rest of the Anne of Green Gables series (I think I read through the fourth, and partway into the fifth, out of seven). And I'd love to re-read the Chronicles of Narnia yet again, and Harry Potter, but I should probably read for the first time before I re-read. There's a third book in this trilogy of which I read the first two this summer, and I started the third but it was right around moving-time so it sort of just got set aside in the shuffle. But it was an interesting series - set in Rome during early Christianity. So I'd like to get to that third book. And I have a book on "Molly" Brown that my parents got me this summer during their weekend up in Leadville, and I've read maybe half of it so far and it's really interesting every time I pick it up, so I want to finish that. I also bought a book this summer called A Postcard from the Volcano, or something along those lines, which I also want to read. (Obviously. I bought it.)

Anyway. Who knows how much I'll actually get to, and I know there will be others in there that I'm not planning on that I'll read anyway (including/mostly because of school stuff). Like Hannah Coulter. That's one of our Book Forum books that we have to read, and when the second years read it this past semester, practically all of them could barely contain their effusive love for this book. So I'm pretty excited to read it. But anyway. Yeah.

So that's that. And now it's almost 2010, and...who knows what the year will bring, or where I'll be by 2011. Just gotta wait and see.

Going home again

2009-12-28T23:21:00.001-05:00

I love being home. I love it. I dislike the fact that I have to leave again in less than two weeks. I know, three weeks is a nice amount of time to be here, but it's not enough. It's never enough. And the thought that maybe I have to stay in DC for the summer just really, really...I don't know how to describe it. But it's not a good feeling, that's for sure. Ah, well, I guess trying to explain all this here isn't really going to make sense to anyone, since I don't think anyone can really understand.

Just a hint at my mindset though: My parents got me Ken Burns' National Parks documentary for Christmas. (Awesome.) I started watching it last night, and while I had managed to see most of the first part online back when it was airing, even re-watching it, the pictures and descriptions make me feel so...I don't know, so right somehow. Those pictures of nature, those beautiful national parks, those natural places where God's goodness and beauty and creation are so overwhelmingly evident, it makes me feel like things are right and good. And when I'm actually in those places, actually viewing them with my own two eyes, well my goodness I could just die of happiness right there. And that is absolutely the opposite of what I get in dirty, crowded, loud, unnatural DC.

Not that anyone's comparing, though, right?

Anyway. In other news, I saw Sherlock Holmes tonight. (By the bye, the first movie I've seen in the theater since August, and the District 9 debaucle.) It was quite great. I really, really enjoyed it. And I loved the fact that he's such a great detective - reminded me of Monk, which has fast become one of my favorite TV shows. I love those good detectives who don't miss a thing (you know, the ones they write in stories and such). It's so entertaining.

(PS, and by the way, I know that at the worst, it's just another year and a half. And it's not as bad as I probably make it seem, and I'm not as miserable as maybe I come off being. And it's not so much that I hate DC as I love Colorado and DC will never, ever be able to compete or come even close. Plus, ok, I don't even like DC. But the point is: Here, at home, in Colorado, I'm alive. At school, in DC, I sort of just...exist. Despite efforts to the contrary. So, whatever. Maybe that's just the way things are going to be, are supposed to be, until May 2011. Kinda sucks, but sometimes life kinda sucks.)

PPS: I'm enjoying break. And didn't mean for this to turn out semi-depressing. I've gotten to see most friends at least once, I'm actually going somewhere for New Year's Eve, there are plans afoot to go hiking on Saturday (it's going to get up into the 40s! But we'll be hiking at approximately 10,000 feet...and there's guaranteed to be some snow. Should be fun!), I got to see a new movie!, I've gotten to see my family of course, I've gotten lots of knitting done, and I'm 5/6th of the way through the LOTR trilogy, on my annual Christmas break viewing. (Seriously love those movies, by the way.) And I'm almost almost done with the first LOTR book. And it's only been four years since I started reading it. :-) So, good stuff all around. (And then I am brought back to the reality of my life right now thanks to my bank account, payments for next semester due, and remembering that I have to buy books and such for next semester, and soon, probably, not to mention buy and read the book for our first book forum - which is annoyingly taking place the night before the March for Life, when the vigil Mass is taking place right across the yard, unless the school takes my disappointment in them into consideration and realizes that it was pretty poor planning on their part. But still, homework I have to do.)

Well. That's all.

Holiest of Nights

2009-12-24T23:25:00.000-05:00

O holy night,

The stars are brightly shining

It is the night of our dear Savior's birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born!

O night, O holy night, O night divine.

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming

With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming

Here come the wise men from Orient land.

The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger

In all our trials born to be our friend.

He knows our need, He guardeth us from danger

Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we

Let all within us praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! That ever, ever praise we!

His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim!

In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan,

Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone;

Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,

In the bleak midwinter, long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold Him, nor earth sustain;

Heaven and earth shall flee away when He comes to reign.

In the bleak midwinter a stable place sufficed,

The Lord God Almighty, Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, whom cherubim, worship night and day;

Breastful of milk, and a stable full of hay;

Enough for Him, whom angels fall before,

The ox and ass and camel which adore.

Angels and archangels may have gathered there,

Cherubim and seraphim thronged the air;

But His mother only, in her maiden bliss,

Worshipped the beloved with a kiss.

What can I give Him, poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;

If I were a wise man, I would do my part;

Yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

Home. Gloriously, wonderfully home.

2009-12-23T00:29:00.001-05:00

It was a lot more complicated than expected, but I managed to make it home eventually. Flight out Sunday morning was canceled by early Saturday afternoon, which I was quite miffed about, but I quickly found a really cheap (especially considering time of year and circumstances) flight on Monday afternoon into the Springs via Chicago, and bought that, and sat on hold with Frontier for an hour and a half before the lady came on, I told her I was on the Sunday morning canceled flight out of DC and wanted a refund, she said "Ok" and that was that. So then the rest of Saturday I semi-enjoyed the snow and such. Didn't mind being stuck, although I wished we were a little closer to our friends' house - their cars were stuck too, and they're just a little too far to walk, so it was just me and my roommate all day. We spent a lot of it watching The Office. Snow mostly stopped around 24 hours after it started, by 9 or 10pm Saturday night. Roommate and I decided to go on a late-night walk, which was pretty fun considering the snow was at least up to my knee in most places. I'm not one to consider the greater DC area beautiful, but even fresh snow can trump the ugliness that is DC. Especially a foot+ of fresh snow. :-)

Sunday, we had to walk to church. There's this tiny Polish church that's just like a five minute walk from our house, so we went there when we were thwarted in our attempt to get to the regular Catholic church that's a 15 or so minute walk from our place, in the opposite direction, and along & across a big, busy street. One that didn't seem to have the sidewalks cleared yet... And as we stood at the intersection, trying to decide if we wanted to try for it anyway, we watched a plow drive by and spray dirty slushy snow all over two guys snow blowing the sidewalk on the other side of the street. That kind of turned me off from that option...so the Polish Mass it was. (Unfortunately, we didn't notice that they had Polish-English missals in the back of the church until after Mass, as we were leaving...which means that not only did I not understand the homily at all - except when he said "Gaudium et spes" and "Juan Diego" - I didn't understand the prayers or readings, either...Ah, well. Live and learn. It was a cool experience, though. And as I shook the priest's hand after Mass he said to me "You're not Polish, are you?" And I laughed and said "No, I'm not." I felt awkward so didn't explain that we had to walk to church today and live in the neighborhood, but I wish I had. Oh well. Maybe I'll go back again one of these weeks. It's a very small church, but very pretty. Quaint. I like it. So this semester, I've been to a Polish Mass entirely in Polish, and an Eastern rite Greek church. Go me.

The rest of Sunday was somewhat less good, but oh well. Monday I got myself all ready to go, made sure all our dishes were washed and put away so that we weren't leaving dirty dishes in the dishwasher for two or three weeks, and then waited somewhat impatiently to be picked up. I was so nervous about everything. I had zero trust that it would work out, because I just...yeah. Got to the airport with plenty of time, as I like it, got concerned when the kiosk said I couldn't check in my bags more than four hours prior to departure (at this point my flight was supposed to leave in about two hours, so I didn't know what this thing was talking about), and when the lady tried to help me, she was going to call to see if they could take my bags more than four hours before departure because they can't usually hold them that long, or something, and when I told her that my flight was leaving in two hours she looked again and said, "Oh, ok then. Go ahead and take your bags over there." It was weird. But it all turned out fine and I got my bags and all. Long story, but I had paid extra for the economy plus seats and got the "premier line" with it which meant I got to go through the short security line so that took about five minutes, and then I just had to sit and wait at my gate. But I got to board first (after first class and whatnot), so that was nice. And when I had checked in online in the morning, I put myself on standby for an earlier Chicago-Cos flight, so I was second in the standby line for that flight, and I did end up getting on that flight so I got into Colorado Springs two hours earlier than my original (well, re-original) flight. That was nice too. We did have to go back to the airport a couple hours later to get my bags, but no biggie.

I did have to listen to a loud-ish, fairly annoying conversation between the two guys in the seats right behind me on the flight from Chicago, ranging from movies to TV to movie stars and celebrities (and certain celebrities' attractiveness - I'm quite positive I heard the word "jugs" at one point, and at first was hoping maybe they were talking about...well, not what you might think they were talking about, but right after that word came discussion on the body and attractiveness of some woman. So, yeah), and finally to Catholicism.(Which basically went "Yeah, I went to Catholic school" "me too" "The most important thing is that you belive in something, but it's not terribly important what" "I go to Mass from time to time, but here's where Catholicism is wrong" etc. They even brought up condom use in Africa. And homosexual "marriage.") I would rather not have had to listen to that, and tried both sleeping and listening to my mp3 player, but their voices were a bit too loud for either of those tactics to be effective. Ah, well.

Important thing is: now I'm HOME! And it's lovely and wonderful. Got to go to Katie's today and get adjusted, which is one thing I very much miss being in DC, and then I got to do some knitting (had a lovely big box of yarn waiting for me when I got here yesterday), and tonight we watched It's a Wonderful Life, which is just, you know, wonderful, and I made hot chocolate (like, from scratch, not powdered stuff). And it's snowing! Been snowing all night. Because I hate to waste a good nighttime snowfall, I took Nutmeg for our second walk of the day, at like 11:30 tonight. Ah it was so lovely. So quiet. So bright. So calm. So perfect. We saw (and one of us smelled) fox tracks. Unfortunately no fox sightings, though. But oh my goodness, I love nighttime snowfall walks more than so many things in this world. That is easily one of my ideas of heaven. I mean, I doubt heaven will be dark and snowy, but I wouldn't complain if it is! Love, love, love it. I mean...I don't know. I can't explain it. It's just so much a part of me and what I love. What I need. And such a reminder of God's love for me. Just perfect. (I will say, I am looking forward to the day that I don't need to take these walks alone all the time, but for now, I'll appreciate them for what they are.)

The end.

I'm going to live-blog an unfolding worldwide crisis*

2009-12-19T02:10:00.000-05:00

* worldwide crisis in my extremely narrow, limited, emotional, woe-is-me view, anyway.

So. It's Friday. Had I listened to my gut, had I done what my heart wanted me to do, I would be on my way - or even home by now. But no. I took people's advice (not that I'm blaming them), and scheduled a flight out for Sunday so that I could go to the Institute's Christmas party.

Fast forward to a week ago. There's snow on the forecast for Saturday. Ok, no big deal. It's DC, so I'm sure it won't be much, right?

Fast forward again to a couple days ago. Snow is more and more imminent on Saturday. A fairly good storm, too.

Yesterday: Yeah, this is going to be a big one. Several inches. Maybe a foot.

Today: 10-20 inches possible. Maybe more. Starts tonight. Oh. Boy.

Me today all day: freaking out because I know this isn't going to be good for my early-morning flight on Sunday. First I was just worried about the getting there in time on Sunday. Now I'm worried about being able to leave. (And also, being able to get there.) I didn't think until too late in the day (when my parents suggested it, actually) that I should try to get a flight out today. I wish wish wish I had thought to do that this morning. Why didn't I think of that? I was just thinking of tomorrow, and how it'd be pointless to try to get an early flight tomorrow. (They've already canceled flights tomorrow. And it hasn't even started snowing here yet.)

I went to work today. Wasn't very productive. Worried. Wanted to be home. Wishing, yet again, story of my life, that I could change things that I can't change. Emailed my parents at one point for some sort of reassurance, and then got a call/email from my mom - my parents wanted me to try to get a flight out tonight. So then I started to worry in earnest. And of course there was only flight left on Frontier, who I'm flying on, and it was at 6, and this was at like 3:30. And I was at work. (Even if I were at home and had managed to pack hastily and get to the airport in time, I'll bet you anything it was already full by that point with people doing to do the same thing I was trying to do.) But still, I called the airline, to see if maybe I could get the earliest flight out tomorrow morning. Took me three tries (thanks to reception loss in the Basilica cafeteria - I wouldn't have been there, but I needed to go to confession before traveling this weekend because I don't like to travel without having been to confession at least a couple days before - and then reception loss in the tunnel in which my metro stop is located, and then finally getting through to someone once I was home) People. IT WAS ALREADY CANCELED. They canceled an 8:45am flight by 4pm the day before.

So then, since I was home, I started freaking out and checking every possible option available to me. Which wasn't much. Amtrak? No, only one train going out tomorrow, and it's already booked. (And who knows if it'll even go.) Greyhound? Could have attempted getting one at 8:10 tonight, but seats are first come first served, we'd be driving right into the storm for the first part, probably, and...I don't really enjoy the idea of sitting on a bus for 40+ hours. But if it got me home, I'd do it. (If my flight gets canceled Sunday, I think I'll be kicking myself mightily for not trying to get that bus.) Even thought about renting a car, but since it's a one-way rental, it would cost me almost $500. That's kind of a lot of money.

So. Here I am. Snow started around 9:20. Yes, I was sitting on the couch in the living room facing the window, waiting and watching for it to start, so I noticed almost right away. And it's been snowing steadily ever since. Not heavily yet, though. That's going to start tomorrow morning sometime, apparently. And, hope hope hoping (and by that I mean pray, pray, praying) that it'll really taper off in the evening/night like they're saying. Taper off enough that my flight can get out maybe almost on time. At this point, I just want it to leave. Not get canceled. But, ugh, it's so hard to tell what's going to happen. I'm trying to trust in God. I guess my problem with that (shouldn't it be easy?) is that maybe God doesn't want me to go home on Sunday, or something. Maybe he wants me to be stuck in DC for some reason, trying to get on the next available flight, and who knows when that'll be. Maybe to solidify the hatred I feel for this place. Ah, I shouldn't call it that. Despise? Anyway. Whatever. I have zero control over what's going to happen in the next two days. I hate that a lot. I do sort of have control over when I get to the airport, though. I should get to bed in case I decide I need to leave early tomorrow. My worry now is that the metro will stop running (I guess they tend to shut down above-ground stations if snow gets above 8 inches - and both I and Reagan are not underground stations. Well, I am, but then the next many stops after me are above ground, so obviously they're not going to run here), and then my flight will leave on Sunday whenever, but I won't be there in time. Or something. Because I'm pretty sure the roads are going to suck Sunday morning, so I don't want to rely on my friend who offered to drive me, and obviously they're not going to be good to drive on tomorrow, so that leaves taking the metro tomorrow. If I can.

You know what? This sucks. I know I'm blowing it out of proportion, but this still sucks. Maybe everything will be fine, and I'll have no problems come Sunday, and it'll be hours upon hours of fruitless worrying, for nothing. (I don't think that'll be the case, but even still, worrying doesnt' accomplish anything anyway.) It sucks.

I never thought it would be possible to hate the sight of snow falling outside like I do right now. In many, many other circumstances, I would be giddy right now. I wish I could be giddy right now. I guess I could be - it'd do just as much as worrying and being upset are doing. But right now, that blanket of snow that keeps getting thicker, it's like chains on my jail cell. (Because DC, right now especially, is like a prison to me.)

Wow, so I just read this thing on weather.com, a "special weather statement" for DC, that says "Total snowfalls of 1 to 2 feet are expected by dawn Sunday...which should eclipse the December records for both cities [which, for DC, is 12 inches on Dec 18-19, 1932]...Should accumulations exceed 14 inches, this storm will make the list of the all-time top 10 snowstorms on record." So, apparenly, in DC, they've only had 10 storms EVER that resulted in 14 or more inches of snow. Huh.

And now it's late. I should go to sleep, since staying up isn't going to help anything AT ALL. I guess I'm just worried about what I'll see out the window when I wake up in the morning...

Being stuck in DC the week before Christmas is pretty much...well, it would just really suck.

Hours later, snow still coming down. It's too bad. This could be very pretty. If it weren't so suffocating right now.

Finals turn us all into crazy, emotional messes

2009-12-17T23:35:00.000-05:00

I would just like to record that I saw some real, honest-to-goodness stars out tonight. It's been pretty cold today, so maybe it's especially clear because of that, and it was at my friend's house a little bit north of us (but just a very little bit, like a 3 minute drive) so maybe it's slightly darker there, who knows. All I know is, that's the most stars I've seen (in DC) since I got here. It was nice.

I'm glad I got to see that, because at least it's one good thing to counteract just a tad of the sense of melancholia that's been threatening to overcome me tonight. Despite the good things of today (ie, finishing finals, and feeling like I finished pretty strongly) - and maybe because everything from today and this week is just catching up with me - I'm just sinking deeper as I think about everything still included in this weekend. Tomorrow I'm going to work, for most of the day probably (depending on how I'm feeling, but more depending on the amount of work they have for me), and there's a Christmas lessons and carols thing at my church tomorrow night I was planning on going to but now am not sure if I really want to, and on Saturday there's the Institute Christmas party which is an hour's drive from here, which I'll have to leave in the middle of to go to Mass since I can't go Sunday, but it's also supposed to snow on Saturday, maybe quite a bit, so even that's in the air, and I still don't know how I'm getting to the airport on Sunday morning because it's too early to take the metro, and I don't want to take the bus because I'll have to transfer twice (while lugging two bags), plus now I'm thinking if the weather sucks on Saturday maybe I should just go in on Saturday night in case roads are bad Sunday, or a lot of people get delayed Saturday or something and make long lines on Sunday, and who knows. Have I mentioned how much I hate traveling? And how I really wish I were just going home like tomorrow? Or right this moment...

Yeah. Lots of not-good feelings going on in here right now. And then some more.

And, I knew this would be the case all along, but I've been hoping against hope (and even praying a couple times) for there to be a little bit more snow the week before Christmas. I barely got to enjoy Colorado in the snow at Christmastime. :-( But there's nothing anywhere in the 10-day forecast. Of course. Just snow here that could cause potential problems for me. Story of my life, right? I swear, if a snowstorm causes me to be delayed in DC, that'll just be like the irony of ironies to finish up this...exhausting semester. So let's hope Sunday's flight goes off without a hitch, shall we?

I need to go to bed. Maybe that'll help.

Things I'm grateful for (finals edition)

2009-12-17T20:14:00.000-05:00

-The USCCB has a HUGE 2-story tree in their main hallway. I work on the 2nd floor, and the tree goes up to the 2nd floor (that's the only floor that has a balcony there, so the tree fits there), so every time I go to the bathroom, or go get more coffee, I can see and smell that beautiful tree. I love it. (Also, on the same subject, we decided to get a real tree for our house. It's pretty, and mostly symmetrical, and two of my roommates went out and bought some decorations - although they were planning for a smaller tree than what our friend, who was helping his church sell them, ended up picking out for us - and it's nice having real-tree smell. So even with crazy finals week bearing down on us, we still have a little bit of Christmas.)

-Vitamins. Yes, I should be eating better, but being in grad school (while not an excuse) isn't terribly conducive to healthy eating and living. Well, the biggest problem is trying to find healthy things that can be made for one person, but also won't go bad quickly. It's tough sometimes. So, yay vitamins.

-The priests at my church here. They're great. I only mention it because at Mass last Sunday, the priest saying it was just cracking me up. His homily had these one-liners that weren't like full-out jokes, but they just struck me as so funny. Not sure if he even meant them to be that funny. But the best thing was at the end, the way this church does it is we have Communion, then once the (beautiful) choir has sung the hymn for Communion, we all sing the Salve Regina. Then there might be a moment or two of silence, and then the priest stands and we all stand and we all sing the closing hymn. Then there's the prayer after communion, then (of course) announcements - what would a Catholic Mass be without announcements? - and then the final blessing and whatnot. Then the priest processes out to music, we don't sing another hymn. I kind of like that. Anyway. So last week, the last announcement was about parish calendars that were now available in the back for people to take. And once the announcer guy was done, Fr. DeRosa said "Yay church calendars." It probably doesn't sound funny, but the way he said it - it was like a very...I can't even describe it. Sort of sarcastic, but just hilarious. I was laughing for like five minutes after that (including during the final blessing, which I think is kinda bad...). But anyway. Thank God for great priests! (And not just because they make me laugh.)

-The fact that just the thought of getting to hold and cuddle with my doggy again in just a few short days makes me all sorts of giddy. Ahhh I can't wait!

-Squirrels.

-My family. Even though they're all very far away, they make me feel sane. And they also don't tell me that my stupid petty worries are stupid and petty, even though they are. Even finals, in the big scheme of things.

-Taking deep breaths. Seriously, do you ever just take a deep breath and appreciate the ability just to do that? Every time I take a breath, I'm thankful that I can.

-The Babies:

The first time I saw this trailer a few weeks ago, I sort of thought it was fake - like, a nice trailer someone pro-life or Christian had made to prove a point, or something. But once I watched the whole thing I figured it was real, and now it's making its way around Facebook and the blogosphere and such, and I guess it's really real. But it looks good! I want to see it whenever it comes out.

Also, I want babies. But I guess that's still at least a few years off yet, considering the lack of husband (/fiance/boyfriend/romantic interest) I have. Kind of a necessary requirement for that. I guess these days it's not exactly, for some people, but really, it is. A requirement, that is.

Anyway.

-The fact that I'm almost looking forward to the two finals I have tomorrow. I mean, I'm not, and they're going to suck while I'm sitting there speaking/writing them (ugh, orals, ugh) (and ugh, writing for TWO HOURS on ONE QUESTION which is supposed to be answered in a PROFOUND and CORRECT way). But they're my favorite classes, and I've kept up with them pretty well all semester, and while doing a study session for the written one tomorrow (Being as Gift: Philosophical Foundations).

-And since apparently I got caught up in STUDYING for said exams last night (I KNOW, what was I thinking?), and didn't post this, I can now add one more thing to the list: Being completely done with my first semester of graduate school! 1/4th of the way done! Crazy and awesome. And also completely tiring. I really wanted to do well on these finals today, so I may have sacrificed most of the night's sleep in favor of studying...and the really crazy thing is I had absolutely zero caffeine today. No caffeine. And I'm not completely falling apart, either. Sure, I'll probably crash early tonight (it's now approximately 8pm, and theoretically I think I could fall asleep right now and stay asleep - but some of my friends who are also done with finals and/or aren't students and thus don't have finals are watching Elf tonight, so I'm definitely getting in on that), but I'm pretty impressed that I'm still conscious. I have fallen asleep - twice - in one of the chairs in our living room...haha. But anyway. Um...yeah. How'd they go, you ask? Well, pretty well. Definitely feel better about both than either of Tuesday's, not surprisingly. I almost feel good about them, but cautiously so. It's always so hard to tell. But they're done! It's wonderful.

-I'm pretty sure there was something else to put here, but as my brain is fried and incapable of holding thoughts for longer than a few minutes at a time, I'm just going to call this good and hit post. OH. Today is December 17, which I believe is exactly 6 months to the day that I got my acceptance into ND. So that's pretty cool. Kind of an important event in my life. Let's all take a moment and appreciate it.

Ok.

Good bye.

Not successfully, by any means

2009-12-15T23:01:00.068-05:00

I have finished my first two finals of graduate school. I can't say I was successful. I can say that I finished, and that's what I'm focusing on. That, and finals #3 and 4. (Although, I'll admit, it's hard to focus on those two when I've been cramming my head so full the last couple days for #1 and 2.) The first today wasn't bad. The second was awful. Easily the worst final I've ever taken. Or, the worst I've ever felt about a final, anyway. Seriously pathetic.

But - it's done. Done, and done, and over. Unfortunately I'm going to look like a complete idiot in front of the dean of my school (the professor of that class), but that's life sometimes, I guess. And I can only really blame myself in the end. Yeah, his lecture style absolutely did not work with my learning style (and - joy of joys! - I get to go through that all over again next semester! At least now I know what to expect), but in the end, I was responsible for making sure I knew the material, and I just didn't. Can't blame anyone but myself. So, I'll learn, and move on, and that's that.

Two more. Less than 48 hours until my first semester of graduate school - 1/4th of my graduate career - is behind me.

In the meantime, I'll be thinking about the joy, comfort, and security encompassed in this picture, and the fact that I'm only four days (essentially) away from that.

Puppy love if ever there was.

Also, Christmas music.

Tomorrow, in the midst of studying, I'm probably going to heed my mother's advice (generally a good idea) and go for a walk. Even if it is sans dog. If I'm feeling particularly ambitious I might go for a run, but I doubt I'll be feeling ambitious. I have been missing my typical run path here, though, lately ("typical" in that I ran it something like four of the five times I actually managed to get myself to run. Maybe it was more than that. But not much more). Even if all the stupid streets around here carry with them the sound of cars and traffic and noise, noise, noise! (I feel like the Grinch.) That's what MP3 players loaded with Christmas music are for, right?

But also some serious studying must occur. The two finals I have on Thursday are my two most-liked classes, and I kept up with the readings pretty well, and we had work to do in both along the way (five papers in one, weekly question sheets for our own use, plus a midterm, in the other), so that helps a lot. But one is an oral. I hate orals. At least that teacher gave us a study list of 22 questions that we should know, that he could ask some variant of. It's a lot of questions, but it's nice to have some sort of guide. The other one is, I think, just one essay question. No choice. Just one. So...that'll be interesting. "Sum up this entire course." In which case, that'd be easy - "Being is a gift, gratuitously given." There. The end. Don't think that prof would accept that answer though. Haha.

Aaaaaaah I can't wait to go home! Sigh. My box of goodies that I ordered the other day was shipped today. Apparently it's going to get there Friday, probably, so it'll be there by the time I get home. That makes me happy. I'm excited about the goodness that will be contained in that box. And I hate to admit it, but it's probably a good thing that I have a bit of down time between finishing finals and going home. A) I need to pack. I'm trying to make everything fit into one suitcase as much as possible, because I'll probably be bringing a few more things back here after break than I'm bringing home right now, so I want the second suitcase not to be completely packed. We'll see how well that attempt will work, though. B) My room is a ridiculous MESS. A lot of it is clothes, because I just haven't felt like organizing/picking up/doing laundry/unpacking (yes. I still have clothes in my little suitcase that I took home for the wedding over a week ago), since I'll be packing it all up soon enough anyway. No, that's not exactly logical, and it's making me feel like I'm about to lose my mind, but there you go. So hopefully I can motivate myself to get it organized and clean before I leave. It'll make me feel better, I know. And a lot of it just requires a bit of straightening up, not like a whole lot of effort. But still. Plus I'm going to need to put my books and compendia and such from this semester somewhere else, to make room for next semester's load of books. Bleh. Trying not to think of that yet because MONEY. Luckily I have a job now. Even though finals this week are impeding my ability to get many hours. Sigh. Oh well. At least it's something, and it'll help. And, whereas in the last five months I've purchased...five trips' worth of airline tickets, so far in the next five months I can only think of one for sure that I'll be purchasing. Maybe another, depending on what I do for spring break. And who knows about summer. I need to figure that out, I think, but I'm not even sure where to start with that...I guess first thing would be to see what my job situation here will be. I think I'm currently slated to go through June with my internship, but they extend them if you want to stay - I just don't know if they shorten them. Or if I'd be able to halt it for a couple months for the summer...but I don't know that I'd be able to do that unless I have a definite job in CO. So. Yeah. I guess something to do over break...

Anyway. I need to get to bed, or get to more studying, or knit a bit. I haven't done much knitting at all this week, and I think it's not helping my current funked state. Knitting soothes me, so I miss it if I don't do it for awhile. So. Knit a bit, and listen to the wonderful sounds of the ND Glee Club sing beautiful Christmas music. I wish you all could hear this CD. It's so magnificent. Male voices singing in harmony is one of my favorite things. Male voice > female voice. True fact.

Also, the general posture of being a studying student is terrible from a chiropractic standpoint. I'm so happy I have an appointment scheduled for next Monday. I'm gonna need it like crazy (not that I wouldn't otherwise, but it'll be especially nice after this week).

Aaaaaaand....goodnight.

Blog posts are easier to write than study notes

2009-12-14T19:47:00.000-05:00

I bought something this week about which I'm super-excited. Hint: it has to do with knitting. And new projects. Yay. (Only thing is, now I have about 15 projects I want to start - and have maybe bought yarn for, or already have yarn for, and I only have three weeks of break during which I can promise you I won't just be sitting and knitting.) Man, I'm starting to get in over my head here. I'm currently in the middle of working on a baby blanket (which, luckily, has no specific end date in mind, so it's movable), and there's that Christmas blanket I was so excited about (and still am, of course), but I haven't done much work on it since Thanksgiving, mostly because it's more involved than other projects since it requires frequent changing of yarn colors. That's mostly top priority next week, I think. But we'll see. I guess technically I have awhile to finish it, since I was never expecting I'd be able to finish before Christmas anyway, and now I can have it done by next Christmas. At the moment I'm more looking forward to one or two other things, since they're technically, more or less, sort of Christmas gifts. I think. We'll see. (They won't be done in time for Christmas, of course. Well, maybe one or two will. Who knows.)

Point is, I love knitting, and wish I could just knit all day.

I've had to sneeze about 10,000 times in the last three or so days. Number of times I've actually sneezed though? 1/2. Just once - and it wasn't the full sneeze that was in there. Years of trying to suppress sneezes while in class (because I always hated sneezing while in class) has worked so well that most of my sneezes seem to be subconsciously suppressed now, even when I'm nowhere near a classroom. I like a good sneeze every once in awhile. I get it from my dad, ok? So it's slightly disappointing that my sneezes never come to fruition (and half the time I end up making weird faces/noises that would be excused if I actually sneezed, but then I don't, so I just end up looking and sounding weird).

Oh, the trials of my life.

So. Study study study tonight (I promise, this post is being written in little tiny spurts between boughts of studying), and in the morning, hopefully get a least a few hours of sleep, take final #1, eat a bit of lunch and cram cram cram for the two hours between #1 and #2, done with #2 by 3:30. Come home, start studying for #s 3 and 4. Allow myself a break for maybe a Christmas movie, or something. Keep studying. Get some sleep. Wednesday: Probably go into work for a couple hours, but spend most of the day study study studying. Final #3 at 10am on Thursday. It's a 20 minute oral. So, for better or for worse, at least it's only 20 minutes of torture. Then I have three hours to cram some more for my LAST FINAL! (both my favorite class and also professor who's least likely to be particularly nice in his grading.) And then I'll be done by 3:30 on Thursday. Yippideedoodah. That's three days from now. So that's good. Keep the eye on the prize. (Of course, then I still have to wait another three days before I get to the real prize, aka Colorado. But at least those three days will be better/more relaxing than these next three days. And i'll have plenty of time to pack at my leisure. So that's something.)

You know what bugs me? When people insist on saying "You'll do great!" on finals when they have no idea. They don't know how hard I've studied or haven't studied. They don't know how well I've paid attention or haven't paid attention. They have no clue whether I'm going to do fine on these tests or not. I know our world is full of saying all these meaningless, supposedly helpful comments, and I know that I myself do it to people too, but it just really seems so hollow and empty when people say it to me. I mean, I appreciate the thought behind it and all, but still. People just don't know. (In other news, I'm pretty sure I'm one of the most unsympathetic people EVER. Don't know what that's about, exactly.)

Hey, remember when I was going to write a good post a few weeks ago, and never got around to it? I think I said I would try to do it over Thanksgiving. Well, maybe I'll find time in the three weeks I have for Christmas break. But it's not really going to be that good.

I can't wait for my annual Christmastime viewing of the Lord of the Rings. I'm very excited about it. LOTR + knitting = three fine afternoons, if you ask me.

Two books that I'm thinking I might want: The Third Man Factor, which looks very interesting, and The Nuptial Mystery, from which I had to read a chapter or something for one of my classes this semester. (The section we had to read was included in our compendium.) The part I read was very good. I wonder if I'll have to get it at some point for a class here anyway. Not sure.

Gosh, I hope my professors tomorrow are forgiving. Because holy moly, the more I study the more I realize just how little I remember approximately 85% of this stuff. Carpola.

Zero brain power left

2009-12-13T23:24:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to study for finals. I have two Tuesday (the two worst, for the two classes for which I feel I know the least amount of information), and two Thursday (which won't be easy, by any means, but I feel I have a better grasp on the material and kept up better with the readings, etc, which should make studying easier). I'm so screwed for Tuesday. I mean, seriously, I'm going over my notes and such, trying to figure out what I need to know and remember (which isn't easy when there are hundreds of rather dense pages of reading that we've theoretically read throughout the semester), and I just feel like I don't know anything. Those two Tuesday classes have been the bane of my existence all semester, and I think they're going to be the bane of my finals week, too. Until Thursday. When my other two classes will be.

Good news, though? I'll be done by 3:30pm Thursday afternoon. Fewer than four full days from now. (That means less than four full days to study.)

Know what I don't get about myself? Why do I listen to Christmas music on the radio - which often includes some songs I really don't care for (Do You Hear What I Hear - I've heard Whitney Huston's version more than any other song, I think - Little Drummer Boy, Last Christmas, that annoying version of Silver Bells, annoying versions of other songs, etc etc etc) when I could just listen to the plethora of Christmas music I have on my computer, most of which I very much like? It's weird. It's like how you really like watching movies on TV when you have them in your collection and could watch them sans commercials. (Like last night, apparently It's a Wonderful Life and Rudolph were both on, and I'm sad I wasn't home and couldn't watch them with my parents. Even though I own the first, and have already made plans to watch it with my mom when I'm home in a week. And I'm pretty sure we have the second taped, probably a crappy version, but still.) There's just something about watching them on TV. Or hearing them on the radio. Plus, I don't have all my favorite songs - there are some I love to hear that I just don't own. Ah, oh well.

So, it's crunch time for finals. Even less than that, actually. I have one more full day of studying to go, and I said I'd go into work tomorrow, in the morning at least. I'm thinking I won't be staying terribly long, though, because I am starting to freak out about just how little I know about EVERYTHING we've learned in the two classes I have Tuesday. Wait. I just realized I already talked about finals TWO PARAGRAPHS AGO. Am losing mind. (Seriously. I'm trying to type up notes and such, and my fingers just aren't cooperating, I'm making up crazy words and crazy spellings, and things just are making zero sense that are coming from these fingers.)

I hope my parents still love me when I fail my first semester of graduate school.

Oh, also, I'm writing a children's story in the middle of typing up notes. It's the dumbest story ever, but I thought of it while I was putting away the dishes tonight. (Yes, Mom, I unpacked the dishwasher instead of studying, so desperate am I to procrastinate.) (In reality, I unpack the dishwasher a lot here. I also wash a lot more dishes. And I always put all my dishes straight into the dishwasher, because we always unpack it pretty much right away, so there's no reason not to. I don't think my mom believes me that I do this stuff, though.)

I just want to go to sleep and wake up and be back in Colorado. Finals are just terrible, terrible things.

Seven Quick Takes Volume VII (Hey! That's seven!)

2009-12-11T23:32:00.002-05:00

(This post could alternately be titled: I Should Be Sleeping. But thankfully tomorrow is Saturday, and the first day in I don't know how long that I'm going to let myself sleep as late as I want, with no agenda. But I do have a lot to do tomorrow. Studying for finals, and TWO parties to attend. Quite a busy girl am I.)

1.) I still can't figure out my love for Hello, Dolly! I dislike Barbra Streisand. Don't particularly care for her voice, or her acting, or anything about her in general. (I do sort of like her nose, but that's because it reminds me of a certain old, old friend of mine. :-) ) (I hope that's not offensive to say.) But seriously, I love that movie. Love it. Maybe it's mostly Michael Crawford (who, by the way, I just found out, is the singer of one of the ok-ish versions of O Holy Night that I hear on the radio. The DJ said his name once the song was over, and then I was like, dude, that does sound a bit like Cornelius Hackl!), and the fact that I adore the song (and accompanying dance of) Dancing. And, for some reason, It Takes a Woman. Ah. I love it. I love that movie. Honestly, I do think at least a part of it is because I went to see a play version of it years ago in New Jersey, with my parents and my grandparents (don't remember if any of my siblings were there...although if I was there with both my parents, I don't know why my siblings wouldn't have been there...unless I was just there with my dad and grandparents, in which case it would have been that one summer I went out with my dad, just me and him, to visit his parents). Oh, and IMDb just told me that the guy who choreographed Hello, Dolly! also did Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Which has some super-awesome-amazing dance scenes. I love that movie too. So, there's that.

Anyway.

2.) I decided something. I'm going to be single yet again for yet another Christmas/New Year's/etc, which I dislike, and which sucks for, well, a multitude of reasons, even beyond the obvious. But this is the last time. That's just all there is to it. So come back in a year and see how right I am.

3.) Last night I heard a British guy doing commentary on a football game (a football game which, by the way, included Cleveland - previously one-win Cleveland, horrible Cleveland - beating the Steelers - reigning SuperBowl champs). Weird. And, obviously, we're talking real, American football here. Just doesn't mesh. Do British people even know how to play American football?

4.) I know it's weird, but I can't help but be jealous of Colorado (and those others) getting below-zero temps lately. I love cold cold weather. Today was pretty chilly here - probably didn't get above freezing - but I still wish we could have a few days of that crazy-cold. Ah, well, it's probably for the best that we don't, since I don't even have a coat out here. It's my way of rebelling against the weather here. Sort of like testing or tempting the weather. "I just dare you to make me regret my clothing choice." I'm sure I'll wish I had one at least once this winter. (I do have my rain coat, which has a removable inner liner which is pretty warm, and that should be enough to get me by on the coldest days.) Anyway. I hope we have some cold days when I'm home for Christmas. But not all super-cold days, because there are plans in place for some winter hiking going on, and I'm rather excited about that. I do hope we get snow between the 20th-25th, though. But I'm not holding my breath on that. Right now it's the typical 40s/partly cloudy from here to eternity. Or December 20. Which is as far as the 10-day forecast currently goes.

5.) I'm nervous/too nonchalant about finals. I know they're going to suck. But I haven't managed to get very far with studying. Oh well. I'll do as well as I can manage. And that's about all I can do at this point. I just want this semester to be over so I can start fresh with a different/better outlook/understanding of how things work around here. (And it'll be nice not to have to move into our apartment during our first week of classes, and deal with all that transitioning.)

6.) Sometimes I hate Internet communication. And texting. It's easy to forget that someone just sent you an IM, or a text, and just not respond to it. I feel like I'm not responded to a lot. And yet, I use it all the time, and rely on it way too much. Maybe that's my problem. But then, I hate phones, and I hate talking for long periods of time (on phone and usually in real life), and...yeah. Whatever. It's ok. I'm a forgotten middle child at heart, so I'm used to it. :-P

7.) Hm...what's the seventh this week? I could write about how confusing boys are, but everyone knows that, unless they are boys, in which case they think girls are confusing. (And did you know, it's ok that that's the case, because the fact that men and women sometimes have trouble understanding why each do certain things is a reflection of how little we can really understand the mystery that is the ultimate Other - aka God. We have to work our whole lives to understand the other that's the form of man or woman in order to be able, someday, to understand God. It's actually quite ingenious - but then, of course it is, God came up with it for a reason!) Or I could write about how I drowned 10-20 fruit flies tonight by leaving a couple inches of wine in an uncovered wine bottle. Our fruit fly population is out of CONTROL and it was especially crazy tonight - we had a handful of people over for dinner, and man those flies were everywhere. Probably especially bad because we had clementines on the table, some of us were drinking wine, and, like I said, we have a ton anyway. Plus, I rarely eat at the table these days - most nights I eat at my desk - so maybe I just haven't noticed it that much in the dining room lately. But yeah. Seriously. Gross. It was just getting so bad, and I was starting to itch (which sometimes happens to me when there are too many bugs around for my liking, even if they don't touch me - it's definitely a psychological thing, I'm pretty sure), so I said screw it, and I poured back a little bit of my wine into the empty bottle. I sacrificed my alcohol so those flies might die. And die they have.

There. A twofer.

(PS: I just realized that yesterday was 12/10/09. Wait. I further just realized that 12/10/09 is nothing interesting. Neither is 12/11/09. Nevermind.)

Lacking energy to think of (non-)(witty) title.

2009-12-08T23:36:00.002-05:00

I missed a call today when I was at work, and when I listened to the voice message, it was someone calling from Frontier (with whom I'm flying for Christmas), and she gave me a number to call back. My first thought was something bad, of course, like they canceled my flight and i'm going to have to try to find something less than two weeks before I'm flying. I called the number, and when I got through to a real person, told her that I had gotten a message telling me to call them, she looked up my reservation and came back saying that the only change she saw was that my flight coming back to DC in January, the connection from COS to Denver was pushed back an hour (so it leaves at 2 something in the afternoon instead of 1 something). Considering that my Denver flight doesn't leave until 4:30, this was actually quite welcome news. So, yay for that.

And...that's about all I got today. It's the feast of the Immaculate Conception (which is good, one of my favorite HDOs), and Mass tonight at St. B's was lovely (although I probably should have gone to the Shrine today since I was over there, since I went to work today because we had the day off from school, and apparently if I had I would have gotten a plenary indulgence. Not really sure what my thinking was on not going there for Mass today).

I'm freaking out a little about finals, but not enough to start studying (me? Study early? Never!).

The snow continued to fall in CO after I left yesterday. It wasn't really snowing or anything on our way up to Denver, or while I was there waiting - in fact, I think I even saw the sun when I was sitting on the plane waiting to take off. But it seemed not to be as bad in Denver as it was in the Springs. Maybe that changed, I don't really know. Either way, no delays for me, which was nice. Oh, also, DUDE, the plane I was on yesterday was easily the nicest I've ever seen. Sheesh. First, it was one of those planes with two aisles - in the steerage section, it was two seats, aisle, three seats, aisle, two seats. They had first class, which consisted of these fancy seats so big that there were only four per row (whereas steerage had seven per row), and they had foot rests, and like a place for your drink, and I think a place to plug in a laptop, and just all sorts of crazy-nice stuff. I've never seen a first class that nice. So that's the first thing I saw when I boarded. Then once we passed that section, there was like a...well, basically still nicer than any first class I had ever seen on a regular plane before. Comfy chairs. Nice arm rests. Roomy. Etc. And then past that were seats with extra leg room and such, I think that was like the business class, or something. (Not sure what the in-between was.) And then beyond that was us in the steerage. Same ol' same ol'. Although, I will say, it was nicer than I'm used to because each seat had its own (tiny) TV screen, and a control thing that allowed you to have the sound be on audio, or on TV, or on just a map of the plane's progress. And if you wanted to watch TV, you had the choice of four different movies and a few different TV channels. Unfortunately I wasn't too excited about any of the movie options (the DC-Denver flight I had on Thursday had Four Christmases, and if I had been on that plane going in the opposite direction, I could have gotten Elf or something, I think. But on this flight, I again had the choice of Four Christmases, 500 Days of Summer, Up, and something else - and had I been on that plane in the other direction, I could have gotten Elf. Ah, well), but still. I appreciated the (free) option. And the best part? I got that for $75! Anyway. It was a crazy-nice plane, is what I'm trying to say. I guess if you're going to fly all the time, that first class there is the way to do it. Or maybe if you're on a long flight. But I think it's probably way too expensive for just a few hours. Speaking of flying, though - I could never have a job that required me to fly all the time. I don't know how people do it. I am so sick of airports. So sick of flying. Bleh. I guess it might be somewhat different if it were for work, but still. No thank you. The worst part about traveling, though? Doing it alone. I get so tired of having to lug my carry-on around with me whenever I have to go to the bathroom (I've gotten far too good at squeezing myself and my little roller suitcase into those tiny bathroom stalls, managing to fit in enough to get the inconveniently-placed door closed so I have a little more room to maneuver my stuff), or while standing in a crowded line trying to get food or coffee or something. It would just be oh-so-nice to be able to get a seat, leave my stuff there, and go do what I need to do. I've been so tempted several times to ask someone around me to watch my stuff, but that's sort of frowned upon at airports. Plus, I don't trust people.

Anyway. I think that was a really long (and incredibly boring) paragraph. I still can't get over that plane, though. I thought first classes like that only existed in the movies or something. (Very much reminded me of the first class seat Amanda Woods has on her way to England in The Holiday.) Oh, but I was going to talk about snow! So, yeah. Snow and cold cold cold there yesterday and today. I miss the cold cold cold. One of my friends here today went outside somewhere for lunch, and when he came back he said it was really cold, and had dropped like 15 degrees from the morning. When I left a couple hours later, I was expecting really cold. And, um, yeah, definitely wasn't. But then I thought about it - he's from California. I don't think he's lived there in years, but still. Maybe a low cold tolerance is still built into him. Who knows. Point is, Colorado weather is always better than DC weather, on either end (and in the middle).

I need to go to bed. I feel like I'm just on this side of getting sick or something, so sleep is important right now. I'd really rather not get sick right before finals...although then I might have a slightly legit excuse for doing so poorly on them.

Aaaanyway. Yeah. The Christmas CD I was just listening to just ended, too, so good time to go to sleep now I guess. (Know what it was? You'll never guess. Because you've probably never heard of it, unless you're my mom or one of my siblings. It was Wee Sing Christmas. We had it on tape when I was little, and I remember falling asleep to it at Christmas, and I just loved it. It was the definitive Christmas sound for me for a long time. Well, that, and Mannheim Steamroller's Fresh Aire Christmas, which I also used to fall asleep to, and I can still hear the sound of the first side stopping and the play button popping up when it was over. I always hated that sound, because it meant I was still awake. I love that CD though. Anyway. Pretty amusing to listen to the kid one again now.)

Snow problem.

2009-12-05T12:37:00.002-05:00

So. Funny story. It's snowing in DC today. Apparently they might get 1-3 inches. Yeah. Haha. I mean, really, it is pretty funny. But at least I know that I'd much rather be here on the clearest day to celebrate Josh and Patty's wedding than in DC with a blizzard, missing the wedding. (Plus, starting tonight into Tuesday there's a chance of snow here, so I think I should hopefully see at least a little bit of snowfall.)

Aaaaand, now it's hours later, the wedding was beautiful and wonderful and SOOOOO worth missing snow in DC, and it's 22 degrees outside - but it feels like 11. That's the way I like it. :-) (Especially since I have an electric bed warmer. Otherwise I might not like it quite so much, because it's never fun to get into bed with cold, cold sheets and nothing but my lack of body heat to warm it up.)

Seven Quick Takes Volume VII

2009-12-04T18:58:00.004-05:00

It's Friday!

1. I'm in love with Colorado. I don't like this long distance relationship I'm having with it right now, but hopefully it's just temporary. At least I know it'll never break my heart, because Colorado is always Colorado no matter how long we go between seeing each other.

2. Tomorrow is the last of this four-month-long wedding season. It's the sixth wedding I'll have been to since August. (And if I had been out here, there are two more I could have gone to. Although, if I had been out here, I probably maybe wouldn't have gone to one or either of my two cousins' weddings. And beyond those, I know of lots of other weddings that have gone on in that time period, too, of acquaintances and friends-of-friends and whatnot. Just so many weddings, it's crazy!) I'm looking forward to it - some (most) of my favorite people will be there, and it'll be beautiful, I'm sure, and at the Cathedral (the prettiest/only pretty church in the diocese, pretty much). Of course, there's bound to be some depression on my part regarding the singleton thing, but whatever. Seems like everyone's getting married, engaged, or in relationships (either already-established or just starting). And it appears that baby season is starting too with some of those newly married. It's good. It's great, and wonderful, really. But it's hard for me not to let it get to me, you know? But tomorrow, I'm just going to have fun with my friends, and be thankful I can be there to support Josh and Patty.

3. I really missed chiropractic care. I went last week the day I flew in for Thanksgiving, and that was the first time I had gone in three months. I went again today. Man, I really miss it when I can't go regularly. I already have an appointment for the 21st, the day after I get back, and will probably also go in that Tuesday. Then unfortunately my chiropractor will be out of town for a week for Christmas, but I'll still have a good 2ish weeks after that to get in a few visits, too.

4. I know I've mentioned this before, but I like to wear heels. Even though I'm over 5'10. So basically that just makes me a giant, as if I'm not enough of one without any shoes on. But you know what? Too bad. I don't not want to wear heels just because I'm tall as it is. Heels make me feel feminine. I like the way I look in them (other than the fact that it makes me awkwardly taller than most people I'm ever with). The worst part, though? The (very few) times I've gone swing dancing. Even if the guys there aren't shorter than your average guy, me with heels makes me taller than most of them, and it's just kind of awkward. Girls shouldn't be taller than guys when dancing. It's just...it's just science. Ah, well. Such is my life in heels.

5. So, maybe I'm just noticing it more lately, but it seems like people have swung from confusing the I/me placement in which they'll use "me" where it should be an "I" (So-and-so and me are going to the store) to using I in place of me (So-and-so and I at the park). Mostly this happens in captions. And it's in a lot of captions I read these days. It's not that hard - just use the word that you'd use if there weren't another person in the sentence. If you're going somewhere, you'd say "I'm going." If you're describing a picture, you'd say "Me at the park." You wouldn't say "Me is going to the store," or "I at the park." I think the problem with the captions, maybe, is that the subject (the picture itself) is kind of implied, so it's not directly in the sentence, so then maybe people think that they are the subject of the sentence. Because really, it's "This is so-and-so and me at the park." I believe, in that case, the two people in the sentence are direct objects. But don't quote me on that - I learned more about parts of speech in my various language classes than I did in any English class, so some of it is a little bit fuzzy. But anyway. There's your grammar lesson for today, folks.

6. I officially had to start taping my camera today. I noticed last night that the little door that keeps the battery in (well, it has a little latch that actually keeps it in, but then the door keeps it protected I guess) doesn't really stay closed anymore. I think a little piece that keeps it closed might have broken. So, now there's tape on it. Oh well. Someday I'll get a new camera.

7. I love my family.

<3

2009-12-04T02:35:00.000-05:00

I'm home. :-)

The plane ride kinda sucked. I had a window, and there was no one in the middle seat, so that was nice, but the guy in front of me had his seat back the entire ride - even before I sat down. And the stewardess didn't notice when we took off so he didn't even have to put it up for those few minutes of relief I could have gotten. I mean, it wasn't terrible, but it didn't make the ride any more comfortable, that's for sure. (And of course, I'm always too concerned about the person behind me to put my seat back. I never do it. Makes an uncomfortable sleeping position for me, but I can't stand the thought of someone sitting there annoyed at me the whole time the seat is down. I'd feel so badly. But then, if you think about it, most people are probably shorter than me anyway, and if I can deal with it fine enough, I'm sure they can too without too much discomfort. But still. Airplane seats are squished enough as it is. I don't want to make it worse for anyone.) They showed a movie. Four Christmasses. Definitely not going on my list of movies to watch if I'm ever bored out of my mind. Bleh. I didnt' even finish watching it, because halfway through I realized that I would be a lot happier listening to my Christmas music. I did sort of "watch" it without the sound, though, so I got the basic gist of what happened at the end. All in all, I'm glad that I didn't waste any time watching it by watching it anywhere else other than trapped on a plane.

There were people coughing the whole flight. Particularly the guy in front of me, and the guy two seats down from him, on the aisle. I know they can't help it, but ugh. Not fun to listen to that the whole flight (and hard not to think about the fact that I'm breathing in that contaminated air for 3.5 hours). Suffice it to say, when I finally was able to step out of that plane and into the tunnel thingy, whatever they're called that attach to the plane so people can get on and off, it was the nicest air I've ever smelled/felt. And it really helped that it was really cold, 5 degree crisp air. Mmmm. I miss that kind of air. I miss mountain air. And cold air. We haven't even made it in to the 30s, I bet, out in DC. Maybe a few nights, right around freezing. But it's not the same, and it doesn't feel the same. This air was (is) so nice.

Then I sat in the car with Nutmeg on my lap the whole drive home. She's such a sweetie. (Of course, she went exploring our neighborhood when we got home at 1:30 in the morning, and that wasn't too cool...apparently there were deer out and around, though, and she smelled them. She sure loves her some deer.) And the ride was just beautiful. I do enjoy the scenery of the drive from Denver to the Springs. And even though we were driving it in the middle of the night, it was fairly bright because the moon is just past full, and there's fresh snow on the ground. Nights like that are so magical. Mmm. And much of the area between the two cities is fairly uninhabited, so there's not a lot of light pollution, and it just looks...I don't know, just lovely. I'm not a city girl. Obviously. And maybe this ride was extra-beautiful because I've been so city-locked for so long now. I love open mountain country. Man. I just love CO.

And the water. Mmm water. And we have fresh snow on the ground here. Very powdery, fluffy snow, but still. I like it. I'm going to take Nutmeg for a walk in the morning, either around here or at Palmer Park (haven't decided yet), and it will be beautiful I'm sure. Of course it will. And even if it's not, I'll think it is.

Yay. Yay home. Yay Colorado. Yay snow. Yay cold. Yay stars. Yay everything. (And yay electric bed warmer, as my room is quite chilly. I mean, it is near zero degrees out right now. That's a little chilly. But wonderful.)

It's a little bit ridiculous how much I love Colorado. But I do. I just really, really do.

Yuppers.

2009-12-02T22:33:00.002-05:00

So, I guess it didn't snow that much in the Springs today. But still. The principle of the thing.

(Confession: I often mix up "principle" and "principal" for some reason. I think I usually get it right, but I'm sure there are times I've put the wrong one in my notes and such. There are a few other words, too, that, despite speaking English for 24 years now, and reading it for...I don't know, at least 20 or so, I just never know for sure if I'm spelling them correctly.)

I have to tell you all something: be careful what you wish for. Mysterious? Why yes, I enjoy that.

So, I'm going home again tomorrow night. My flight leaves here at 10:20 or something, and gets into Denver at around midnight. There's a flight that leaves at 5:30, and I so wish I could go try to get standby on it, as there are still at least eight seats left (I checked), but a few things make this very unlikely: 1) the metro doesn't go directly to Dulles yet, so you have to take the metro to a certain stop, then hop on a bus there that takes almost an hour to get to the airport. And since I have class until 3:30 tomorrow, there's no way that would get me to the airport on time to get that flight. 2) the friend who offered to take me so I don't have to go through the hassle of metro/bus transfer didn't seem too keen on taking me right after class, since traffic is usually pretty bad around then, and I think would prefer taking me closer to 7pm or so. More logical, too. 3) I would have to take my suitcase with me to work tomorrow morning, then to class, and that's just annoying.

So, after trying to think of some - any - scenario in which I'd be able to get to the airport to try to get the earlier flight, I decided to give up. Half the reason I want that flight (aside from the fact that it'd be nicer to get into Denver at 7:30 instead of midnight) is because the friend who's getting married on Saturday is having her bachelorette party tomorrow night, and many of my close friends are going to be there. But, even if I caught the early flight, they're doing dinner and such at 6pm, and the earliest I'd probably be able to get there would be 9:30, so they'll most likely be done by then anyway. Ah, well. I'm lucky I get to get in tomorrow night at all. Definitely more preferable than Friday sometime, as now I have the whole of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Not too shabby. But yeah. Thinking about it, even if my friend did take me right after class, traffic is bad and it'd easily be probably over an hour to get to the airport, which would probably get me there right around 5, which would be pushing it anyway. So, this way I don't have to deal with my suitcase all day tomorrow. AND I don't have to fly in my nicer work/school clothes. And I can stop in for confession after class, too, which I like to try to do before traveling.

Speaking of which, I should probably pack...I left stuff at home last weekend, so I don't have to bring that much with me - I just have to do laundry ASAP once I'm home... :-)

I'm having a hard time not being down right now...gah. I'm really, really trying to fight it, though. Really really. And really a couple more times. It's just everyone's...ah. No. Decrying the state of certain things at the moment will help no one, especially me. Know what will help, though? Well, prayer, probably. But also, Christmas music.

Quick temperature comparison: here, it's approximately 63 degrees, 88% humidity, and it's been raining off and on all day. Back home, it's 12 degrees, 80% humidity, and off and on snowy. (Probably more like flurries, if anything, but still.) Someday. Someday I'll be in winter weather again. And it will be glorious.

Also: happy birthday Mom! I'm so glad you were born! :-)

I'm sure it's funny, but I don't get it

2009-12-01T22:29:00.001-05:00

So, I was looking at the 10-day forecast today for both here and Colorado. And, of course, back home they're supposed to get snow tonight/tomorrow into Thursday. Of course. A few inches, maybe. And then it'll clear up for the weekend (which, for the sake of the bride getting married this weekend, I can't really be too upset about), and there's another chance for snow on like Tuesday. Didn't I say last week that they'd probably get snow the day after I left? So, it's two days (and the day before I go back). Ah, well. The most hilarious part is there's a slight chance for rain/snow here on Saturday. I'm pretty sure it won't snow, but how...fitting would that be?

I think God likes to laugh at my expense sometimes. In a loving, father-teasing-his-daughter kind of way. I guess. Except usually the father ends the teasing by doing something to make the daughter happy, so I'm really expecting some kind of blizzard or something sometime in the three weeks I'm home for Christmas. (And if I see no snow at all during those three weeks, which also wouldn't terribly surprise me, I will be quite a sad little girl. Do you know how long it's been since I've seen it snow? 8 months. ish. That's a long time. Were I not in DC, I would have seen snow almost three months ago already. Sheesh. I really miss it, is all.)

I'm trying to write 600 words on Hegel's view of negativity. A concept that I don't really understand, but I have to pretend to understand it well enough to write 600 coherent words about it. Bleh. The good news is, after tonight (which will be a long night, involving this paper and then reading for my regularly-Friday class that is taking place tomorrow morning this week due to a conference the Institute is putting on this weekend), I won't have actual homework/reading to do again until Wednesday night. Next Wednesday night. (Today was our last day of Tuesday classes, since next Tuesday is a Holy Day and thus we get it off, and the next Tuesday is finals; and then the paper I'm writing tonight is for my Thursday class which means I've already done those readings, and my Friday class is taking place tomorrow, and I don't have classes Monday ever, and so my next class after Thursday is next Wednesday but that's my audit so I never do those readings anyway.) So, this means more time to start studying for finals, which I really have to do...bleh.

Back to the paper...I have no idea what to write. I mean, negativity is sort of the contradiction of being something and not-being its opposite. Like, my being is negative in that I am me and I'm not not-me. The negativity of humanity is that humans are inherently good but are also evil, and there's the element of being good and not not-good, or being not-good and not not-evil, or something like that. I don't know. I'm confusing myself, and I don't even really think that's write, what I just wrote, anyway. Bleh.

Oh, also, know what's anoying? I have that free AVG virus protection program, and it is scheduled to run daily at 7pm. Lately, though, when it runs, it takes at least 2.5 hours to finish, and it makes everything on my computer super-slow. It's really frustrating. Half the time I just cancel it so it doesn't run that night. It didn't used to be this slow or annoying. I'm not sure what the deal is, but I know that I don't like it. Not one bit, my friends, not one bit. Ah, it just finally finished - 2 hours 36 minutes. What the heck. Whatever.

Hey, why can't anyone spell anymore? There's very little excuse for it, especially in these days with everything having little red squiggly lines to tell you when you've spelled something incorrectly. Of course, I think that's also part of the problem - people become too dependent on that and they can't tell when something is incorrect without the squiggly line telling them. Not good, my friends, not good. It seems that no one knows how to spell "definitely," for example (hint: there is no A), and don't even get me started on their/there/they're or your/you're. I cringe each and every time I hear it. And the whole plural pronoun when talking about a singular subject ("I hate it when someone uses incorrect grammar. It makes them look like an idiot."), ugh. (This is a result of no one using "one" anymore - "It makes one look like an idiot" - and people not wanting to say "him/her" every time they need to use a pronoun. And heaven forbid we just use the male pronoun. That's sexist, you know.) OH. And Don't forget about Randomly Capitalizing words that Really don't need to be Capitalized. This is Really grating.

Did I tell you all about my awesome Black Friday purchase? Well, I was going to buy a few things that were on sale on Amazon. Because I don't do crowds. And one of those purchases was going to be, finally, the new Michael Buble CD, which no, I had not previously purchased. I know. So then I clicked on it for some reason or something, and saw that they were having a Black Friday deal on the MP3 version (I was going to get the regular, real CD version, since it was the same price as the downloadable one, and I like having the hard copies of CDs). But that day the mp3 was only $4 to download! The whole CD! So I totally just did that instead of paying $5 more to have the hard copy. Pretty excited about that.

Well. I'm going to post this now, even though it's a good 24 hours later. I'm just going to pretend I posted it last night.

Lots to do

2009-11-30T19:01:00.001-05:00

Just got back to the house. It was wet and rainy when I left last week, and it's still wet and rainy. Lovely.

When I got on the plane this morning, Weis was still the head coach of Notre Dame. By the time I stepped off the plane, he was officially no longer the head coach. Not surprising. I hope they get someone good.

I had to sit in the middle seat on the flight from Denver to DC, and on the one side of me I had the woman who kept tapping and adjusting her little TV screen that's built into the seat in front of each seat, which only annoyed me because I'm sure it annoyed the guy sitting in that seat since her doing that was obviously pushing on the guy's seat. I certainly wouldn't have appreciated it had I been in his place. But that was nothing compared to the guy on the other side of me - the man I've dubbed the Loudest Chewer I've Ever Heard. I mean, seriously. This guy's mom must never have taught him how to chew with his mouth closed. It was disgusting, and caused me to turn up the music on my mp3 player to an uncomfortably loud level (I dislike loud music). But even then, I could still hear him chewing the sandwich he had pulled out of his bag. Finally he finished, and I was happy again. But then a few minutes later, he pulled out another one. Commence loud, obnoxious, disgusting chewing. And a little while after he ate that one - you got it, he pulled out a third. It was like the bag of neverending sandwiches. And I swear he got louder with each one. And that last bite of food was always the loudest, too. I mean, it was so over-exaggerated, it's like what I would sound like if I were chewing my food with my mouth open on purpose to be as annoying as possible. And he was just sitting there chewing like that on the plane. I felt like maybe I was on candid camera, or something, to see how long I'd last before I went crazy. Eventually he seemed to be done with food, but man. Three sandwiches of that. Maybe loud chewing doesn't bother some people, but for whatever reason, it really bothers me. On the bright side, it was an opportunity to practice patience and charity, in a way (when I would start getting really bothered by it, I would make myself think, "maybe he has some sort of weird medical condition that necessitates eating like that" or "maybe he never had a mom"), although that's probably being negated right now by this post.

Oh. Well.

Also, this thought occurred to me on my way out to the Springs last week, but why are airlines so stringent about making sure your seatbelt is buckled? I mean, I can understand that it might help stabilize you if there's crazy turbulence, keep you from flying out of your seat and whatnot, but how often does that actually happen? Turbulence happens, but not that crazy turbulence. And if the plane crashes, well, a seatbelt sure isn't going to help much. I mean, I'm not against seatbelts in planes, but it's just odd that they're so strict about them in planes and yet in a bus, where a seatbelt could actually legitimately save your life if you are in a crash, there is nary a seatbelt to be found. (Well, the driver might have one, i don't know. Never noticed.) It's just weird.

This week is going to be crazy and ridiculous. It's Monday, and I just got back here. (And oddly, even though I've been on mountain time the last several days and thus it should only feel like 5pm or so, it feels even later than 7pm. Probably because it's been dark since I landed. Boo that.) I have reading and a paper to finish/do for tomorrow. Then more reading to finish (which I really tried to do today, but my goodness, it is difficult stuff) and another paper to write for Wednesday. Plus extra reading for Wednesday because Friday's class this week is moved to Wednesday morning. Which also means I can't go into work Wednesday, unless I do like an hour or something between that and my regular Wednesday afternoon class. Or, possibly, skip Wednesday afternoon class, as it is my audit anyway...but I hate skipping classes. But since I'm gone Monday and Friday this week, and Monday next week, I might only get to work four hours this week and I feel bad about that too (although, I mean, all this stuff was in place prior to getting the job, so there's nothing I can do about it, but still). Either way, I have work and class on Thursday, then flying out Thursday night. Then, ah, back in good ol' CO. :-) But crazy, busy week in the next three days. And probably not a lot of sleep.

I do feel a little bit ridiculous being home for Thanksgiving then coming back here for three days then flying out again for three or four more days. I mean, it is ridiculous. But...worth it, I think. It was so good to see my family and friends this weekend. And my whole family was together. All of us. Who knows when's the next time that'll happen. And this coming weekend? A wedding for two good friends. (And $75 tickets.) And CO, where my heart completely and totally is. I mean, it's sort of like torture every time I go there because I know I'll have to leave in a few days (or weeks, come Christmas). But I'm going to need to fill up my reserves as much as possible this month because after Christmas break I don't know when I'll be going back home again. Maybe spring break, but maybe not. Who knows. So, whatever. Ridiculous, yes. But I'm doing it anyway. What's life without a little ridiculosity, right?

I am almost tempted, though, not to go home after this next spate of travels, for a very long time. I was getting to be ok here, until suddenly it was almost time to go home and then I couldn't wait to leave. And then I was home and definitely didn't want to come back. The longer I'm here at a time, the more ok with it I am, but when there's a trip back home to remind me what I'm missing out on, suddenly I remember where I am (and more importantly, where I'm not), and here just seems...depressing. Of course, right now it's not that bad because I know I'll be back home next weekend, and then just a couple quick weeks after that. And I suppose I am more used to and comfortable with things here, which is good. I do worry about what'll happen when I have to come back after three glorious weeks at home. Well, I'll deal with that when it comes.

For now, homework, because it must be done, and I must sleep. I'm afeared I'm starting to succumb to some sort of illness. But I think it's more just run-downness than anything, stuff catching up to me while I was home and whatnot. Whatever it is, though, I'd prefer it to stay on the definitely deal-able level than some sort of full-blown illness. Especially right now. No getting sick in the next three weeks. That's an order, Slomelette.

Au Revoir...for now

2009-11-29T22:52:00.003-05:00

I have to leave again tomorrow. :-( But I come back again in four days. :-) Yes, it's crazy, but two more friends are getting married next weekend, and they were the first of all these marrying friends to get engaged, so I was always planning on going to their wedding (and then everyone else started getting engaged, and everyone jumped in front of them. It was weird the way that worked...). And, hey, I love Colorado, ok? Any excuse to come home is good enough for me. (Especially when I get tickets for $75.)

And two weeks after that I'm home for three more weeks. I know it still won't be long enough. It never is.

Gah. Ok. Enough of that.

I started a Christmas afghan with some fun Christmas yarn. Although, I have a feeling it'll look better than it feels...but oh well. That's ok. It's Christmasy, so it's fun to work on, plus, that means it'll only be out for one month a year, right? (I don't even know who I'm making it for. I've just really wanted to make it since like August.)

Know what the height of the average American male is? Approximately 5'9.2". That means I'm a good inch or more taller than the average American male. No wonder I always feel so awkward when I go to swing dancing, since it's rare that there's a guy there who's taller than me (especially with my heels on). (Yes, even though I'm really tall, I still love my heels, and I refuse to give them up.) I am also approximately seven inches taller than the average American female. Seven inches. So there's your fun fact of the day.

Gah. I have to leave tomorrow. Boo. Also, I forgot to do online check in until about 5pm today, and my flight is at 9:15 tomorrow, so by the time I had checked in the only seats left on my Denver-DC flight were middle seats. So I'm stuck in a middle seat for four hours. Siiiigh. Oh well. I guess I'll survive.

Also, I guess I should go pack up and stuff...bleh. I'm leaving some things here, because I don't feel like bringing it all back right now. I wish I didn't have to bring anything back. Including myself. :-)

Guess what? I love Colorado.

2009-11-28T22:37:00.001-05:00

Did you know that the mountains are an extreme driving hazard? Not driving in them - driving around town when they're visible. Because they're so beautiful, and I can barely stand to take my eyes away from them - whether I'm driving toward or away from them. Sometimes it's almost bad. But so good, because...sheesh. I love the mountains. I love Colorado. I love that I've grown up in Colorado Springs. Really. Much as I might sometimes complain about the city, it really is head and shoulders above sooooo many other places in this crazy crazy country. I really, really, really really, really, really, REALLY hope I can come back here ultimately post-masters. Really really and completely. Being here feeds my soul in a way I can't even begin to describe. It calms me. It soothes me. It's wonderful.

Also, Pikes Peak is such a treat to look at every day.

And: first shot at mountain spring water. Mmm.

Beyond that, I'm thankful for stringed instruments. We're all so blessed to have stringed instruments.

I'm thankful for yarn, and for the ability to turn it into various creations.

I'm thankful for a very cuddly dog who managed to worm her way into our lives and my heart, firstly by her very convincing "love me" face. She still can get almost anything she wants with that face.

I'm thankful for having the wonderful family I have. I wouldn't be anywhere without them.

Did I mention knitting?

How about the mountains? And how I went to Borders today and was drawn, as always to 1) their calendars - specifically the Colorado-related ones (I have two already for 2010, one Colorado and one RMNP, but would certainly not be averse to getting a few more - one of the ones I saw was a Rocky Mountain calendar, and the picture for December was of Pikes Peak with Garden of the Gods in the foreground! I got so excited!), and things like Alaska, or the Grand Canyon. Etc. and 2) their "local interest" book section which includes lots of Colorado-related books. Love. It. (Have I told you guys that for my birthday I received both a book on Colorado wildflowers, and one on Colorado 14ers? Yeah. Pretty awesome.)

I'm thankful for the Christmas season, liturgically incorrect right now though it may be. It just makes me so happy. So so happy. And winter. I'm so glad that Christmas is in winter. :-)

I'm of course very, very thankful for my Catholic faith. I wouldn't be the person I am without it, and I'm glad that it continues to change me and challenge me and make me more the person God wants me to be. Slowly, for sure, but little by little.

And I'm thankful for the color blue.

The end.

:-)

(By the way, I'm not so thankful that Notre Dame is one of probably a very few teams who can manage to have an amazing QB and 2 WR team, some of the best in their two respective positions, and go 6-2 the first eight games, then proceed to go 0-4 against such heavy-hitters as Navy, UConn, Stanford, and Pittsburgh. Yeah. Also: tonight, our legitimately great QB threw 5 touchdown passes to said two great WRs, and we still managed to lose. That's the present-day ND for ya. Sigh. I wonder who our coach will be next year, and if he'll manage to make us look good again. Of course, he'll be doing it without said QB, and maybe without one or both of those WRs - I forget if they're juniors or seniors, and/or if it's likely that they'll go in the draft in the spring. Oh well.)

Thanksgiving part 2

2009-11-27T23:43:00.000-05:00

Today was my family's Thanksgiving, since my brother and sis-in-law were down with her family this week, until this afternoon. And it's been a good day. I:

-did not go fight crazy crowds for things I don't even necessarily need - and probably really aren't worth the crowds and all that aggravation. Plus, even though I'm really cheap and like good deals and all that, I sort of really hate contributing to the consumerism that is blatantly on display today especially.

-went to Palmer Park instead, and had a grand time, because I love it there. Also, Colorado Springs? Not too shabby. And so much quieter than Silver Spring. Soooo much quieter. Back at my house there, it's a constant din of traffic and sirens going by, 24/7. Here? Not so much. Wonderful. :-)

-met up with Lauren, and had Qdoba for the first time since I went out to DC. (They have both Qdoba and Chipotle out there, but I have yet to go to one there for whatever reason. Namely and especially, I don't eat out, like, ever.)

-came home and Peter and Sara were here. And Tom, off from work, to which he had to go early this morning.

-left again and saw two friends who got married in early October, and then a bunch more friends who are some of my favoritest people. Reluctantly had to leave them sooner than I wanted to, but it's because I had to come home for our delicious Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family, so that's definitely worth it.

-ate said delicious dinner, had fun hanging out with my wonderful family, talking and playing games and such, said goodbye to a few who had to go home - including the super-fun nephews - and watched part of Elf with the rest.

All in all, a pretty satisfactory Thanksgiving, even if it wasn't Thanksgiving. But that's ok. It's still good.

Thanks.

2009-11-26T21:45:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

I went to Mass this morning (quite an appropriate thing to do on Thanksgiving. And every day :-) ), and as part of his homily, Fr. Jim read this, which I've also seen posted various places on the internets today:

By the President of the United States of America, a Proclamation.

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor-- and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be-- That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks-- for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation-- for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war-- for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed-- for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions-- to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually-- to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed-- to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord-- To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us-- and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

Geo. Washington, President

I hope it's been as great a day for you as it has for me.

I'm such a happier person in Colorado

2009-11-25T22:49:00.002-05:00

I got home today. Yay! Despite getting very little sleep, sitting on two airplanes, and yet again seeing far too much of airports, I'm so happy. Everything about being here is just wonderful, even if I used to complain about it. Funny what living in DC can do to a person. :-)

Seriously, though, dude, I just love being here. It makes me ridiculously happy. It makes me feel so good. I can't even say enough about it.

Things I've loved since I've gotten here today:

-Seeing the mountains, both for the first time on the flight from DC to Denver (gorgeous!), and along the way from Denver to Cos (I purposefully chose a window seat on the right side of the plane so I'd be on the mountain side going down to Cos, but then my attempts were mostly thwarted anyway because I was right next to the propeller which blocked a great majority of my view - particularly of the mountains - but it was still better than sitting on the east-facing side.

-The sun going behind the mountains at exactly 4pm. I'm not sure what about this I liked so much, except for the fact that I had forgotten about this aspect of Colorado Springs living, and it was just...nice. Plus, you know, the mountains. I love the mountains. Especially the mountains I get to see every day (when I'm here). They're maybe not really as impressive as other mountains in the state, but...they're mine, you know? (Not that I don't absolutely love the other mountains around the state, because I'm pretty sure it's no secret that I love all these mountains pretty fantastically.)

-Seeing six deer in my neighborhood this afternoon (and one in an area behind my parents' friends' house). I know most people think of deer as a nuisance (and/or a target), but man, do I love them.

-Obviously, family is a given. My nephews are so great. My mom still has the best hugs to give. My dad's wonderful. My brother Tom is fun as always. My sister is my super awesome gorgeous sister. And Nutmeg is my endorphin-inducing cuddler, who Dad brought with him to pick me up this afternoon, and who then proceeded to sit on my lap in the front seat during the whole ride home.

-I'm watching Conan right now. Need I say more?

-Colorado tap water. It is just so delicious.

-The cool, crisp mountain air. We don't get air smelling like that in DC. I miss it so, so much. Mmm. I could sit outside and smell it all night long (except I'd probably get hypothermia eventually). But yeah. Delicious too. Everything about Colorado is delicious. Also: just feels much cleaner than anything in DC.

-A tiny bit of snow! In the backyard and elsewhere around the city/state! Doesn't exactly count in my book as really seeing snow, but it's closer than the rain, rain, rain we get in DC.

-Soon: sleeping in my lovely wonderful bed again. Mmm that'll be delicious too. I mean, not that my bed here is really any better than my bed back in DC, but it just...I don't know. I'm looking forward to it. (Although I did leave my nice memory foam pillow back there, which I'll miss...and I have fewer covers here. But, a bed warmer, so I should be good.)

-Deliciousness all around.

That is all.

Honestly.

2009-11-24T19:33:00.000-05:00

Right now, you know what I wish I could do this weekend when I'm home? I wish I could sit on the couch, tell people I'm home, and make them come visit me. I have a feeling I'm going to stress myself out trying to see everyone and spend time with everyone when I only have a limited amount of time, not to mention a limited energy reserve. I do want to see friends I haven't seen in months, but I also do love just hanging out at home. And it's already stressful trying to figure out when I'm going to see who, and it's important to be flexible but I'm worried that if I don't plan things out well I'll miss out on seeing people. Of course, if I do, I'll see some of them again in a week, and I'll see even more a couple weeks after that when I'm home for three weeks and won't have to worry about it so much.

I'm notorious for not liking the phone, but honestly, most of the time I'd rather call someone than text them (which is what I usually resort to doing). The reason? I don't want to bother them. I don't want to interrupt anything. I don't want to be annoying. So I do the non-invasive texting, which can be ignored or responded to at the recipient's leisure. (Even then, sometimes I feel like I'm probably bothering them. Any mode of communication that I don't initiate, I feel like I'm bothering people.) But mostly, I just want to call. (But not have a long conversation. I'm a get-in-get-out type of person.) I really feel like such a bother to people when I call, though, so I just don't. It's annoying. I hate being so insecure all the time.

Also, I hate the metro.

Also, I really, really, really wish I had just gone for a Friday flight. Or at the very least a Tuesday night flight. Then I wouldn't have to sit here all night, packing, worrying about tomorrow, etc. I could have done that already, and be sitting at the airport, or in an airplane right now. And be home in a few hours. Instead, I'll fly out of here in 13 hours (and boy-howdy that plane had better be on time, delay-less, and get to Denver when it's supposed to). I will wake up (hopefully) in 9 hours (um...dang). I would say I'll go to bed in 2 or 3 hours, but we all know that's not happening. Susie doesn't sleep well when she has traveling to do in the morning. But then she goes to bed with enough time only to catch a few hours of sleep, and worries that her body will decide she needs more sleep and will make her sleep through the alarm or something. It's all just bad. Hence why I should always do night flights when possible, instead of morning flights. (But it's always morning flights.)

Seriously, I feel like I'm pmsing right now. But I'm not, I promise. I'm just super-uber emotional all of a sudden. Really, it just hit me like a ton of bricks today. I'm not sure why, other than my body knows how close it is to being 6000 feet above sea level, and thinks that it should be there now. Not tomorrow, now. And I quite agree. Alas, that doesn't much matter. But du-ude I wish I were going home tonight. I mean, I wouldn't get in until late, probably, and I'd be able to do not much other than go to bed, but I'd be sleeping in my bed, at home, after getting a temporary fill of dog kisses and Mom hugs, and I'd get to get a good night's sleep tonight, and sleep in tomorrow, and take a shower and make myself look presentable, and then go about the all-important job of Seeing People. Instead, I'll get not enough sleep, in my little bed here, all alone, dogless and hugless, and wake up super early, drag myself to the creepy metro station, get to the airport with its crowds and noise and germs, get on a plane with its crowds and noise and germs, get off that plane, sit in another airport - so close yet so far - get on another plane for a 15 minute ride, and finally land in Cos at approximately 12:45 in the afternoon, feeling, looking, and probably smelling like Airplane and Travel. And then I'll have to go home, and get situated, and maybe make myself look like I wasn't traveling all day and didn't get up at o'dark thirty, and maybe see some people. Sigh. Tonight would have been so much more preferable.

Sorry. I'm just in a lousy mood right now. Clearly. I just want to be home so badly it hurts. I'm so sick of being here right now. So so so sick of it. Every single inch of it. Every bit of it. Everything.

And why are people who aren't Catholic trying to make the Church do something it won't and can't ever do? Why do people who aren't Catholic even care what the Catholic Church does? Ugh. It's so frustrating. So so frustrating.

Also frustrating? Being here tonight.

Ok, clearly it's time to stop typing in this post because I'm just getting more and more worked up. Here's what I need to do: pop in a movie or something into my laptop, have it on while I get packed up, and try to go to bed ASAP. The more hours I sleep, the fewer hours I have to sit here reminding myself that I'm here and not there, where I so badly want to be.