Bad Apologies

Stop that!

2009-03-04T09:51:00.007-05:00

Hey Pepsi! I know what you're doing! Stop it!

I mean, that last one was just TOO obvious. I'm watching you, Pepsi.

Bon Fete, Canada!

2009-01-12T17:25:00.000-05:00

I learned a few things about Montreal over the New Year, during my first visit to Canada (no, Niagra Falls does not count).

1. People who speak French can indeed be gracious, completely fluent in English, and willing to speak to you in English... if you are polite and deserving.

2. Canada is like bizarro-EU--it feels European and foreign, but you get more for the American dollar, not less.

3. Strippers can do more than just walk around a poll--and ask for less in the process.

4. Leave a strip club before it closes--that is when they'll shake you down.

5. Canada is cold as the dickens, and I will no longer complain about the temperature in DC... at least not for the next few weeks. I just stumbled upon this photo I took in 2005 on top of the Grosvenor Metro Station parking garage. Bethesda's assumption that snow is something they have a legitimate reason to have signage about is laughable. And by the way, who would take snow to the top of a parking garage to dump?!

What a Wonderful American Life

2008-09-22T23:43:00.000-05:00

Like the passage of a rocky fiscal quarter, I'm suddenly back and everything is all shook up. Bail me out, because this entry is totally supported by mortgage-backed securities!

Alright, not really. But it has been an incredible three months. MOSI moved in June through August, and even got a job working in the same building as I. Turns out, moving in was just the right thing we needed. I love him more than I did yesterday, and I know that the strength of our love can stand the test of cohabitation. There will always be hurdles, but I am convinced that will not be one of them.

I am still coming down off a stellar weekend in Pittsburgh, reconnecting with him on his turf.

This American Life is my sustenance for drives to and from Pittsburgh, and six episodes were the bookends for my trip. As promised to now TWO plucky little DC transplants, here are 10 episodes that played (or repeated) this year that I have loved (and so should you):

The Giant Pool of Money. Reasons to love this episode go beyond the clips of Sigur Ros that weave transitions together--I really didn't get the sub-prime housing mortgage crisis at all, and now I do. Don't ask me to repeat it after four drinks (cause I will).
A Little Bit of Knowledge. The opening is light and plenty humorous. Act 2, by the blunt and real Dan Savage (Savage Love), makes me long for gay marriage as much as MOSI's Republican parents did after they listened to this one on the caravan to Hilton Head for the family vacation I joined in July (a blog post I would never be able to get through).
Leaving the Fold. Listen to Act 1 and you will never think of Jerry Springer the same way again. I would vote him for President. Seriously.
The Audacity of Government. Probably the reason I do what I do now, and think that DOJ and DHS can be so much better than they are. Their ideology might actually be making us less safe, and I don't know how you could be proud of this Administration after the Prologue and Act 1, or any Administration after Act 2.
Fear of Sleep. Especially for Act 1, when a stand-up comedian's take on sleep walking.
What I Learned from Television. Everything! This one is live, and pretty funny, and Mates of States performs during the interludes!
Nice Work If You Can Get It. Astronauts doing paperwork in the Prologue, and the PC Guy comes to life in Act 1!
Life After Death. A much different tone, but it puts a voice to the effects on someone's life who is inadvertently the cause of another person's death.
Human Resources. Despite my abhorrence for these people, this isn't much about how HR mostly screws up your benefits. What is fascinating is Act 1, and the discovery of where hundreds of NYC teachers go, who aren't allowed to actually teach, and Act 2, which will shines a light on how many of our neighbors in DC might be viewing us--as part of "The Plan."
My Brilliant Plan. Which includes Act 1, and renting a house in Baghdad.

And from last year: Habeas Schmabeas 2007. I can't deny that my most favorite episodes are those about the hideous practices by this Administration, especially in the legal realm. For when you're ready for something on the darker side of America, this one is stunning--and award winning. An absolute must.

15% off 50% more!

2008-06-18T08:21:00.002-05:00

Althought not listed on the "Deals" section of their website, I just got an e-mail from Thrifty car rental advertising 15% of SUVs for the rest of the month. I wonder why? Not only am I not interested in paying that much for gas, I'm smuggly content that no one else appears to be either. And its a pleasure to see Hummer sales crashing. Yup, I'm that guy.

What time zone is it?

2008-06-01T21:48:00.001-05:00

I’m not a very good work traveler. Well, I travel okay, but I don’t take much advantage of the destination.

I’ve determined that the personal value to me when I travel for work is limited to:

A break from day-to-day work
Ability to decompress in the evening away from home life.
Frequent flyer points.
Seeing friends who live elsewhere.

Today pushed the limits, as it took me twelve hours to get from my apartment to my San Francisco hotel room, by way of Chicago and Phoenix.

I was supposed to meet friends from college here in San Francisco, and when they went MIA I instead had horrible food in Chinatown. There was a semi-romantic ride on a street car, but all I had to share it with was Twitter.

I’m hoping the next three nights will be better. I’ve learned (awkwardly), that my ex whom I stayed in this very hotel with three years ago is coming to town from Atlanta tomorrow. On the plus side, he can find us some great food.

Next week I’ll be going to Kansas City. Fly in (directly), take a day off to visit family, and then do a day long presentation and get back. That’s got the perfect combination of all four benefits!

I wish my insight into travel was more interesting. I’ve even bored myself. At least I blogged!

Ranked Top 50

2008-03-21T19:49:00.000-05:00

Big Yellow

2008-03-20T19:42:00.004-05:00

Oh DC, you're priorities are so flawed. Look at these tacky parking lots you're putting up all over the Navy Yard neighborhood in southeast.
Paving over empty lots is such a shame. And no one can remember what was there before it was a grassy field...

Oh wait, Google Maps can:

View Larger Map

Public Housing!

Take us out, Joni!

Dont it always seem to go
That you dont know what youve got
Till its gone

Hill Dawg

2008-02-05T23:35:00.000-05:00

As tonight drags on, I'm happy Hillary is doing well, but I'm also a little excited she hasn't swept, ensuring that the Potomac Primary matters. I have never voted in a primary that counted. I think Maryland must have had their primary after the damn convention. But now DC, Maryland, and Virginia (yeah, I put a comma before the 'and'--suck my serial comma love) are aligned for February 12. Then again, if this drags on it eats up my donation on the primary and not the general...

At any rate, I'm a Democrat and I'm going to rally behind either of these qualified candidates, but I thought it time I came out as a Hillary supporter. They are both good, and I agree with both on most of the issues that are important to me. The issues we disagree on (gun control, line item vetos, ethanol) are moot points given the realities of the forces in the general election (the Bible belt hates those line item vetoes!). But I am more inspired by Hillary, and I do believe she can carry us better on the world stage.

So that's my vote next Tuesday.

In the meantime, go Huckabee!

Moment of Truth

2008-01-23T22:54:00.000-05:00

So if that isn't obvious, I'm home from another late night at work (Goddess, you working past 9pm this week?), and Tivo has sucked me into The Moment of Truth. Before host Mark L. Walberg (ha!) was even introduced, the announcer stated "it is the simplest game on television." WELL, I have to differ. I mean, have you SEEN Deal or No Deal? No, really seen it? Because NOTHING happens. How on earth do they get a full show out of that crap?

At any rate, this is what I do with my life now. Perhaps you can understand why I don't blog so much. Rather, I don't have many observations on life. [Maybe I just don't want to share them with you.]

As for The MoT, what is up with the shock? I mean, they were already asked a bunch of questions, of which the 21 on-air questions were drawn. I suppose it adds some drama, and I guess it is different when you get asked on air. I'm impressed they get people out on stage after doing the lie detector beforehand.

Sorry, its all I got...

Paris Vignette

2007-12-10T19:55:00.001-05:00

This was my favorite sign. We found it in the Pompidou.

Really fast wheelchairs this way!

In this room, wheelchairs patrons will be burned!

Left Bank

2007-11-02T13:59:00.000-05:00

Bonjour from France! Got to see Philatransplant:And now, MOSI is cooking, and Sis is playing. Let's see how blogger does with video uploads:

Maize is Indian for Corn!

2007-10-29T00:11:00.001-05:00

So Halloween weekend flew by, and now I'm cramming to get everything done and head to Paris with MOSI.

In the meantime, weekend highlight was meeting Amy Winehouse (damn paparazzi):
And making it once again to a maize maze:

[That last photo is to prove the "moonlight" part.]

Back mid-November!

Taxi fares that makes sense?!

2007-10-18T11:54:00.000-05:00

Could it be? According to the Washington Post this morning, Mayor Fenty actually stepped up to the plate and again failed to dissapoint when he ordered all DC taxicabs to install meters yesterday. Other than rendering El Greg's work on a google map reflecting these districts (below) now obsolete, I have no reservations.

DC Taxi Zone Google Map

I mean, look at that mess? Who in their right mind would appreciate that?

According to the Washington Post articles, a recent study found that a metered system will be cheaper than the zone system for short trips, while the zone systems is cheaper for long hauls. Council member Marion Barry has tried to argue that therefore poorer DC residents living east of the Anacostia will have expensive trips to the far Northwest. Excuse me? Why would they be taking a cab that distance, when transit goes there?

I'll admit that I live downtown in Zone 1, and generally have to avoid cabs because they are far too expensive for the short trips that one usually uses a cab for. In addition, they add additional charges per passenger, unlike in NYC and other major cities, so there is no real benefit to cabbing when with friends. I'm skinny cause I walk 20 minutes to go out and come home almost every time I socialize.

But what Barry and others fail to recognize is that fraud by cab drivers does indeed exist. Beyond the oft-debated issue of whether or not cabbies are quoting the right price (and the need for residents to try and game the system, getting dropped off a block early to avoid crossing over a border, such as U Street), there are more flagrant issues I have not yet seen discussed. When I used to live in Silver Spring, a cab from U Street was impossible. That is a long trip but only a few zones--so few cabs were willing to take me. After several left me standing on the curb, I would have to board first and then state my destination, refusing to leave until they took me.

In addition, just last week I shared a cab with a friend, passing by my home on its way to hers. Under the Taxicab Commission rules, it is at the discretion of the driver to take a shared ride. But to me that means the driver should also be upfront about their intention. In this case, the driver took us both, but when she got to her home, he charged her my full fare and then a fresh fare for the second leg of her trip.

Does anyone wonder why the taxi drivers are the only ones protesting the metered fare?

"I'm tired of starring at that damn fence."

2007-10-17T18:47:00.000-05:00

Sorry PD (that's Prom Date). To make up for my delinquency, here is a nice little graphic storyboard. Feel free to print the images out and make a flipbook of multiplying windowwashers.

"Good fences make good neighbours"

2007-10-08T23:47:00.000-05:00

Weekends, three deep (well, the first two were working lite) have been devoted to my parents mending wall. They didn't get my quoting, but then again, they aren't the recent products of MCPS (okay, and I kinda too poetry twice--they're fault, not mine. Alright, and a third time in college). But yesterday was the capstone to the effort, the crowning achievement of an enlightened society ("like menisa" as Tranny Lover just said to me.)
Just look at that fence. See how it ungulates, plunging as the land exhales. It's a masterpiece, really, and it is not all mine to claim. Yes, Grace and MOSI were both in attendance, a virtual lovefest of suburban bliss, with loved ones coming together to break crab cake and set posts.

We toyed, Grace, MOSI, and I, with following this calling. "We'd have to give up our dreams," MOSI pointed out. But that was a small price to pay, when we realized we'd make a grand a weekend (in our heads). Throw in the lemonade stand we could put out front, and we'd be set. Yes, dreams would be postponed, and repetitive strain injury would pose a serious threat. We were almost sold when a passerby asked if we were a business (of course, he did say we had taken our time), but then we realized Mommy Bad Apologies wouldn't be there to supply constant meals. Meanwhile, and Daddy Bad Apologies really was the mastermind. Really, we were just day laborers.

But a joyful group of day laborers we were.

Reasons I Think Hell Isn't So Bad

2007-09-18T20:23:00.000-05:00

My co-worker is having a rough day. My observant boss asked if she was ill. Her responsive crying proved otherwise.

What did he do? He dicated the following positives and negatives list to her, to help cheer her up and put it all in perspective.
I think it's priceless.

On the Shadyside

2007-09-18T12:32:00.000-05:00

I used to spend my evenings and weekends blogging, but of late I've been elsewhere. The evenings have been mostly doing overtime. In an unfortunately incident with a scouring pad, I removed chunks of paint off my parents Camry, and my work bonus evaporated. As a result, MOSI and I declared "cheap September"--or rather, I declared it to him. Not satisfied with that limited amount of disposable income, I've been working late to keep distracted and gain some extra cash for playtime. Pay day for that is still six days away, and I'm counting--the next four days in Philly will test my resolve.

My weekends, on the other hand, have been spent in this charming Pittsburgh bungalow:I invite you to zoom in closer. This domicile, with slopping floors and slanted walls, which appears to have grown improbably over its lifetime, is MOSI's new hold-up, through the door on the far right and all the way up to the top floor. It's roomy, bright, and full of character. Throw in their whimsical taste and some of his parents' furniture, and it certainly rallies my little home.

Suffice to say, my weekends have been well spent. Soon on Cheap September's heels will be Wedding October, so we should see more excitement to come...
I love that man.

"Sorry to be of help!"

2007-08-31T14:22:00.000-05:00

I have a co-worker who ends his e-mails with this salutation. He said it to my face once, and I think my ears started bleeding. Sometimes, when I read it, I fantasize about throwing him through a plateglass window.

When I got to work this morning, I thought maybe someone had finally done it:

Turns out, the interior window shattered with no known cause, raining glass down on our cafeteria at 1 AM last night. As there are approximately 80* of these looking on to the atrium, it is closed until further notice. View from my cube:
Caption: NOT an exit.

I can't tell if I'm sad I missed it, or sad I wasn't eating lunch under it when it happened. [No thanks to you, Chuck Palahniuk!]

*Correction: There are 314... well, 313...in our building alone. This should be fun.

2007-08-30T09:16:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday La La and JJ!

You won't sound ridiculous if you repeat out loud.

2007-08-28T16:32:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking about renaming the blog to FCH Watch. It is the only thing I find interesting and worthy of commentary any more. I'm like the Perez Hilton of FCH, and I make no apologies. With R and El Greg as my couple on the street, I seem to get constant updates: "Creepy guy came out," "I saw two more go in," "He almost touched me!" Walking home last night (yeah, I'm slow, but I still think I broke this story), it seemed FCH might have actually caught fire:
Upon further inspection, it seems they were just hunting for a fire, looking from business to business--like they got called and weren't leaving until they had something to report back. So they checked out everything, and were checking out our local house of ill repute as I walked by:
In other, only slightly-FCH-related news, Saturday morning I stumbled upon my personal field of dreams--an expansive Zipcar lot. Zipcars, so far, have mostly made their habitat in alleyway parking spaces or cheap sketchy lots, preferring to travel in small groups or alone. But now, suddenly, a pride of zipcars have appeared on my block, in a lot doused in You-Can't-Do-That-On-Television green! I'm way too cheap to actually use Zipcar, but after leaving the window down and then brillo-ing off half the paint job of my parent's Toyota Camry (a car so boring, I routinely forgot where I parked it), I might have to start.
And what's the best part? Yup, that's FCH in the background. I haven't thought of any good promotional tie-ins yet, but greater minds than mine read this blog, and I implore you to share your suggestions.

Oh, he's NOT a littering dog!

2007-08-14T19:13:00.000-05:00

I'm far too distractable to be blogging. Not doing anything overly interesting at the moment, mind you. Just distractable. For a full explanation of why I don't blog more, please see Ms. Wish to See's explanation from two years ago.

To further complicate posting, I have been stymied by my attempts to share the joy that was Lollapalooza in Chicago earlier this month. In my attempts to keep my posts as image-heavy and text-free as possible, I took several video clips of my favorite performances (Amy Winehouse, Regina Spektor, Daft Punk) to share here. I even kept them at only 30 seconds each, in hopes that I might fit safely under some exemption of the doctrine of Fair Use. Well, before I even researched that, I went to load the vidoes on youtube and was faced with the disclaimer where I had to promise that my video was not, amoung other things, a live concert. Ah hell.

So anyway, I give up. Instead, here is someone else's uploaded compilation of Daft Punk, which my personal bell of the ball:

Also annoying me lately: Wikipedia. So smug and arrogant. I was going to blog earlier this week about how we have rather useless automatic sinks in our new building, which prevent any temperature control. Sometimes it is scalding, but mostly it is just tepid. But then Wikipedia snidely pointed out that I was simply one of the mislead masses:

While hot water may more effectively clean your hands, this is primarily due to
its increased capability as a solvent, and not due to hot water actually killing
germs. Hot water is more effective at removing dirt, oils and or chemicals, but
contrary to popular belief, it does not kill micro organisms. A temperature that
is comfortable for hand washing (about 45 °C) is not nearly hot enough to kill
any micro organism. It would take more than double that temperature to
effectively kill germs (typically 100 °C).

I really hate you, Wikipedia.

So instead, I'll simply report that I am back from Chicago, I had two wonderful visits over the weekend from Rocky (that's MOSI to all of you), and I plan to hit up Pittsburgh this weekend for more. Boston and Philly are on the horizon!

Oh, and happy belated, C-Fab. You puma.

I bet Paris drinks them mochachinos.

2007-07-31T22:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I don't really blog anymore. Really, I'm just lazy (and maybe oversexed).

First I must recant, or at least moderate, my recent post about the 'hood. Specifically, I have to give credit to the fact that, when a storefront hasn't yet opened, we still have amusing art installations. There is the inexplicable compliment box (stupid cynicism; and your compliments are lazy anyway), and also the enjoyable audio/visual installation modeled below (complete with a plug-in for your headphones on the exterior of the display).So, one cheer for 14th street. Hip!

Otherwise, I'm traveling again. Now in Chicago. Guess who's 7 months pregnant!
Babies are cooler when they are this portable.

"That Asian lady is not a Jew!"

2007-07-12T21:41:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Maryment! Here's a photo to go with your last post:
It was great to ride the train with her. What does Maryment look like from across the platform, you ask?
[I have a very merry picture from the outside platform, but wasn't sure about compromsing her identity.]

Thanks for the company, Maryment. Sorry I'm so transit averse. I thought I would be back out that way this week, but it hasn't happened.

Hope you had a great birthday!

Coming Soon! More of the Same!

2007-06-24T09:07:00.000-05:00

On my way to the Studio Theatre on Thursday (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead was entertaining enough--more entertaining was the woman who answered her cellphone during the performance) and noticed this sign across the street:
To give some perspective, I live along the revitalized 14th St. corridor, which includes the P St. Whole Foods all the way up to U St. and beyond. Seven years ago, when I was first introduced to the neighborhood, the street was lined mostly with parking lots and vacant buildings like the one above (apparently old car show rooms that have been neglected since the race riots four decades ago).

Even then, gems were appearing, including The Garden District, Pulp, and Go Mama Go! I had assumed, mistakenly, that the boom of development would continue to bring independent business and restaurants, similar to U Street and Adams Morgan. To be fair, Busboys and Poets has been a phenomenal recent additional at the physical and cultural crossroads of 14th and U. But more disappointing has been the failure of the residential boom to bring in more of the same. Storefronts keep opening on the first floor of each new development, and the most likely next step is that they remain empty (ripe space for past art installations, at least) or become a showcase for another residential development. On this point, I am not kidding. There are at least eight such "businesses" or real estate offices in as many blocks.

The stores that do open are just as likely to close. I just discovered yesterday that the stalwart Sparky's Cafe has already closed and is slated to move. Now let's be honest, their website hasn't been updated in five years, and they probably win the award for most holier-than-thou, arrogant, or simply angry barristas. Still, they will be missed... sort of.

And now, the most discouraging development is that businesses that do open appear to be trending toward chains. First a Wakovia, then a PNC, and now FedEx Kinko's?! Seriously? Pisses me off. I know I can't do anything about it, I am just disappointed to learn this is where the neighborhood is going. Change is inevitable, so maybe a neighborhood change is on my horizon.

South Dakota is Still Dakota

2007-06-21T17:53:00.000-05:00

These people are seriously F*d up. I mean, I know you're from South Dakota, and I can almost excuse your rabid allegance to the president, if it weren't for the fact that this is the worst possible name for a baby. They had better be illiterate!