day of the quote

"No," says Grampy...

2009-11-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

sounding disappointed with himself. "Back then I didn't know women liked flowers. But one time, when she got sick, I bought her a box of oranges. You know, Vitamin C. None of the other fellas did that. I guess that made an impression."

from Learning to Float...

Oranges would be nice.

"He told you you were transparent? Can we beat him up?" - k8, March 2001

2009-11-13T07:00:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it is bizarre to go through old journals. Well, I guess it's always bizarre. To see who you were in another life, before events conspired to shape you into who you are today. But other times it's painfully funny. I was so convinced I was spending the rest of my life with the guy k8's talking about, and simply devastated when I realized that would not be the case. Now I only have a hazy view in my head of what he looks like. Thank God for good friends.

K8 and I have been trading boy stories for about 10 years now. We've also moved on to other subjects, including cooking, music, weird things that people we love do or experience, and what to do with this crazy thing called life. I wonder what we'll be talking about 10 years from now.

I'm holding my breath lately because I think she might be coming back to the Pacific Northwest, and that would be just so cool, to have one of the 3 best amigos close by...It's hard sometimes, when the people who know you best aren't close by, around for just hanging out and shooting the breeze. Although skype-ing and cell phones help a lot, I miss them terribly. Sometimes there's nothing better than a face to face conversation. So here's to 2010 and good friends coming home.

When you come home / and all the world's asleep /

2009-11-12T07:00:00.003-08:00

I'll close my eyes / and breathe with sweet relief"....

- OtR, from "Snowed in with You"

Over the Rhine is coming to Seattle this weekend, and I've been preparing by listening to their albums over and over and over and over again. Even Snow Angels has made an appearance, and I usually can't stand Christmas music before December. But that album, wow, I love it.

And I felt like this poem Linford's got below, before I went away last weekend. Even though I went to a city, I needed to get out of the one I was in...

Exit

I have to leave the city now, she said,
Or dash my soul against my will instead.

I do not wish to have the quiet part of me
That once could rest (the part
That could just be) tossed
Aside and left somewhere
For dead.

Tonight it seems to me
That what some friends call energy
Is nothing more than a phenomenon of nature known as
"Incurable Whirling Disease."

Please, take me far from here, she said,
The buildings sting and echo
With the fumy cries of yellowjacket cars.

I took her hand in mine and said,
I'm thinking of a place now
Where I used to have to tell myself
Aloud,
Those are not clouds,
They're stars.

Copyright 2007, Linford Detweiler

"I do know the sorrow of being ordinary...

2009-11-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

and that much of our life is spend doing the crazy mental arithmetic of how, at any given moment, we might improve, or at least disguise or present our defects and screw-ups in either more charming or more intimidating ways."

Anne Lamott, in Grace (Eventuallly)

Oh, Anne. How true.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, the perception thing. Of how we perceive others and they perceive us. Of how we're all just really faking it, to a certain extent.

And how beautiful those people are who can be nothing less than real, than themselves.

i left my heart in San Francisco.....

2009-11-10T07:00:00.000-08:00

which was gorgeous last weekend.....I went to Piedmont, in Oakland, which I guess is technically not San Fran, but it was still beautiful. We walked to the Farmer's Market by Grand Lake and sat in the sun and ate spinach and bread and cheese and apples. And we walked to Mountain View Cemetery to Millionaire's row, where the Ghirardelli family's got a huge crypt, along with other famous folks....and we made butternut squash soup, and mushroom crepes, and transferred a jade plant in the garden, and it was all lovely. It's nice having cousins who grow up to be people you'd like to spend time with, instead of people you have to spend time with.

if I were an elephant

2009-11-09T07:00:00.000-08:00

I might try and escape from the circus, too. This conjured up memories of Dumbo's mom, weeping in that storm scene. And of course, the classic, "Baby Mine"...

If you're looking for a good book in which an elephant figures prominently - well, actually becomes a central character - check out Sara Gruen's Water for Elephants. It's beautiful.

phone message from k8

2009-11-08T07:00:00.000-08:00

"Hey Gretzky, it's k8. I need to update you on my Saturday evening. I'll leave it on your voice mail so you have a record of it.

I met a man named Joshua. He saw me across the room and walked over to me. He said, "You have the most beautiful smile. I'd like to get to know you." He's from Kenya, he's been here a month. I said, "What brought you to America?" He said, "I came to find my bride, and I just found her."

That's right. Me."

So don't underestimate the power of your smile, peeps.

but don't write your novel like these guys

2009-11-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

Or do.

They're funny.

Joel Stickley: how to write badly well and Joel with his friend Luke: who writes this crap?

(via argh ink, via the dish)

I want to write a funny blog with my friends. About dates. Because really, what's more funny than two people trying to decide if they'd like to, you know, get to know each other better, when they make said decision in approximately 45 minutes over lukewarm, usually bad, coffee?

Who's in? Oh, wait. Can we wait til 2011 when I'm finished with school? Except if I'm still going on crappy dates in 2011, I might resort to drastic measures and hibernate in a cave forever. I recognize that would be counter-productive to the eventual goal, but goals in dating are over-rated.

I mean, at this point, my goals for a date include the following:

1) To have a reasonably non-awkward conversation with a straight, single male under 40. Who is gainfully employed and knows how to wash dishes. For approximately 45 minutes to an hour. If the date's going well, maybe for 2 hours, but that's really pushing it.

2) To not bring up education. It's the kiss of death for them, really. I'm too passionate about it and invariably we start arguing, they don't know what they're talking about, and argue poorly about why charter schools are a bad idea or something along those lines and I get irritated and then when they call, I don't want to answer, because I'm thinking about what a moron they are. (For the record, if they could argue well about why charter schools are a bad idea, I would listen. It's just the crappy arguments that annoy me. And for the record, I also think it's a bad idea to argue on a first date. I don't think that bodes well. )

3) In said conversation, discern if this person would be worth hanging out more with. Evidence collected by the following:

A. If said person can only talk about one topic, it's a no. For example, late 60's British comic books superheroes. I mean, that's interesting for a bit, but it only goes so far...
B. If said person brings up habits of illegal drugs, pornography, theft, various felonies, etc., it's a no.
C. If said person makes racist comments, it's a no.
D. If said person is rude to old people or the waitstaff, it's a no.

And another thing: I recently learned of a family tradition of which I had been blissfully unaware...Apparently there is a tradition (on dad's side) of first dates turning into first nights. For real, this tradition goes back two generations before me, and it's good my parents don't read this blog or I would be in deep crapola right now. So am I doomed to repeat this? Or not to repeat it? Well, I haven't embraced this tradition so far. Does that mean I haven't met the right guy? Or am I just over-analyzing? Probably over-analyzing, let's be honest.

Whew. Mom always tells me how picky I am, and I guess she's right.

you should be writing a novel

2009-11-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

this means you.

November is National Novel Writing Month.

phone message from mom

2009-11-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

Gretzky, this is your mom. I saw a lot of flu today, so wash your hands. I'm just delivering good hygiene tips. You're exposed en masse at UW, you know.

And on the plane, when you go to San Francisco this weekend, don't touch anything on the plane.

crocodile smart phone g-chats

2009-11-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

mckenna:
They want the Crocodile song, I DON'T KNOW THE CROCODILE SONG!

evs:

didn't realize until after leaving the DMV that they made a mistake on her license. According to the District of Columbia, she is 5'0" and, apparently, morbidly obese.

josh:
somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!

johnny v:
http://www.thebigmoney.com/articles/0s-1s-and-s/2009/11/02/meaning-droid?page=full

hughes:

Mr. Boy Eggplant Parm - setdinnerhereveg.blogspot.com

you're never on your own

2009-11-03T07:00:00.001-08:00

sij's kids are the cutest. go listen here.

funny how kids get community in ways grown-ups don't.

why would my wife buy me a parachuting trip unless she wanted to get rid of me? - Eoin Colfer

2009-11-02T07:00:00.001-08:00

Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson, and Eoin Colfer are all hilarious.

If you didn't know, Barry (humor writer) and Pearson (psycho killers writer) teamed up to write about what happened before Captain Hook was Captain Hook. What emerged was this. It's pretty spectacular.

Eoin Colfer is the Artemis Fowl guy, also spectacular. All three were in town last week. I took a couple kids with me and went to hear them. The kids had forgotten their books at home, and Eoin Colfer asked the oldest which was her favorite. She said "Airman," and he said, "I'm getting this book for you." She said, "But I have it." And he said, "this'll be a signed copy."

So he signed the book for all the kids and they happily took it home.

more baldwin

2009-11-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

For nothing is fixed, forever and forever and forever, it is not fixed; the earth is always shifting, the light is always changing, the sea does not cease to grind down rock. Generations do not cease to be born, and we are responsible to them because we are the only witnesses they have. The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out.

- James Baldwin, Nothing Personal

"It might have been easier and more sensible to..

2009-10-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

..have met and fallen heavily for some glamorous unattached stranger, but the one thing love never did have was logic." - Dick Francis, Banker

"for the record, I am going outside in my pink penguin pants." - gretzky

2009-10-30T07:00:00.002-07:00

Wallace sometimes needs to go out at times that are inconvenient to myself. Being already in pajamas is one of those times.

It was so chilly this week we finally turned the heat on, and I brought out the flannel pink penguin pants, my favorite winter pajamas EVER. They are a tad bit - okay, a LOT - ridiculous looking - and last night I took Wallace outside while wearing them.

Thankfully only Natalie and Finn the Irish wolfhound were walking down the street, and Finn said hi to Wallace while I said hi to Natalie. Natalie likes to walk Finn in her pajamas too, fleecy ugly brown sweat pants, and this makes me feel better, since she's one of those 110 lb, blond haired, blue eyed women who look great without makeup, the kind of woman that makes me feel like I've eaten too much ice cream just by looking at her.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the pink penguins will make another streetside appearance at some point, since I'll wear them all winter long and Wallace has to go outside a lot.

i like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework - lily tomlin

2009-10-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

I think we always need teachers, no matter where we are in life, and Ann Patchett does too. She talks about this in her little commencement speech book, What Now?. She thought she had written a great speech and then asked one of her old teachers to read it..he told her it wouldn't work, and she needed to do it over again.

"This was not a situation that called for a rewrite. It was time to let the whole thing go gentle into that good night. I sat on my couch for a long time and stared out the window. I had no interest in starting over again, but there are some people we grant the role of oracle in our lives and when they speak - rarely, gravely - we are well-advised to listen. When I had written my new speech (a shorter version of this book), I did not send it back to Allan. I didn't need to. After all, I am a good student. I had done everything he told me."

(page 90)

"the secret is...

2009-10-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

finding the balance between going out to get what you want and being open to the thing that actually winds up coming your way. What now is not just a panic-stricken question tossed out into a dark unknown. What now can also be our joy. It is a declaration of possibility, of promise, of chance....It takes discipline to remain curious; it takes work to be open to the world - but oh my friends, what noble and glorious work it is....Make up some plans and change them. Identify your heart's truest desire and don't change that for anything. Be proud of yourself for the work you've done. Be grateful to all the people who helped you do it. Write to them and let them know how you are. You are, every one of you, someone's favorite unfolding story. We will all be anxious to see what happens next."

(pages 76-80, Ann Patchett, What Now)

Isn't that last sentence just gloriously sappy and sweet and true all at the same time? Love it, love it, love it.

the he's just not that into you debates

2009-10-27T07:00:00.001-07:00

are many, and i will not spend much time on them here.

I will say, though, that the red flag exercise is HILARIOUS (page 58), and also that Greg is funny: "I think you should lose 175 pounds - in the form of your loser boyfriend - not the twenty you're talking about" (page 62).

"You know, get out there. You'll have higher standards right now. Get right back in it." - P.J.

2009-10-26T07:00:00.001-07:00

The day after I broke up with someone earlier this year, this was P.J.'s advice.

I don't usually follow my little brother's dating suggestions (see previous posts about his Seahawk-jersey-wearing/bar-hopping advice if there's any questions about why that might be), but I did listen to him here - it seemed in a similar vein as the get-right-back-up-on-the-horse theory. Which most of the time I'm not known to endorse, but sometimes it works out alright.

So I listened to P.J...which has led to several nice dates with several nice guys, and then one which included a series of unfortunate events, which I will relay here.

We started at a used bookstore, which you'd think would be great, since I love books, and want to be a librarian. Also, I was giving him points for suggesting a bookstore instead of the ubiquitous coffee first date. One of the first books we spied was Dates from Hell. No joke. This should have been my first clue. But conversation was flowing, he was amusing, all good. Actually, by conversation flowing, I should have said, he was talking. A lot. About himself. I learned that he worked in a marketing department for a fast-food chain. Happily worked in said job. This was enough to end the date right there, let's be honest. But then I thought to myself I was being snobby, and should give him a chance, even if his job involves encouraging kids to eat horribly every day.

We then decided to walk around Green Lake. I got into his car, a new model, with a computer screen in it in the middle of the dash....On said computer screen was a computer generated image of a scantily clad - read: almost naked - woman under the title "Sally Mae."

Gretzky: "What's up with the picture?"

SM: "Oh that? That's my car's name, Sally Mae."

Gretzky: "Did the picture come with it?"

SM: "Oh, I picked that one out."

Gretzky: "Hmm, my cars haven't had pictures attached to them."

SM: "Really? Do you know which street I turn on next?"

At this point I wanted to open the car door and leap out, but I was wearing boots and tights and figured if I had to make an Alias-style roll, my tights wouldn't make it in the event my knees touched the ground.

So I stayed in the car, and learned a few more things about SM. At one point he asked if I was a lesbian. I think he was trying to be funny, but I'm not exactly sure how this train got started.

I think I murmured something along the lines of, "I'm here with you, right?" and then SM went back to talking about himself.

Also, it should be noted that in previous communication with SM, he had mentioned he hated profanity. Now, we all know Gretzky's mouth is not the cleanest - I once again said "fuck" this weekend in church - and I don't really care about profanity either way from someone else as long as they not cursing at me specifically. I can clean it up when I want to. But he was cursing the whole date long. And I just thought it stupid, to have a double-standard, that he gets to curse but others don't. WTF?

So I thought I was speechless after this date, but there it all is. Where does Earth get these people?

wallace will work for food

2009-10-25T07:00:00.001-07:00

Love takes off masks

2009-10-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. - James Baldwin

(via Runyan.)

James, how I love thee. Let me count the ways:

1) Go Tell it on The Mountain
2) Jimmy's Blues
3) The Fire Next Time

I'm sure there's more, I just haven't gotten there yet.

"I thought our story was epic.."

2009-10-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Veronica: "Epic?"

Logan: "Spanning years and continents, lives ruined, blood shed, epic. But summer’s almost here, and we won’t see each other at all. You’ll leave town and…it’s over. I’m sorry about last summer. If I could do it over...

Veronica: C’mon. Ruined lives, blood shed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?

Logan: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.

(Season Two, Episode 20, Alterna-prom Scene.)

Oh, Logan. How I hated you at first, but since then, I have come to love you as much as Veronica does.

"I just said made or broke it. I don't think you can use that phrase in the past tense." - nj

2009-10-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

Grammar thought of the day:

Make or break.

In past tense, does it work?

Somehow, "made it or broke it" doesn't seem to have the right ring to it.

amen.

2009-10-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

that's all I have to say about danielle's thoughts here.