tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-128768552009-03-01T16:13:48.341-08:00Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? 'Cup of tea, cup of tea, almost got shagged, cup of tea...'TheBroadroom.Nethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11474971338995816520noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-8776889565422361702007-06-11T10:52:00.000-07:002007-06-11T10:54:00.933-07:00

TheBroadroom.Nethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11474971338995816520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-84702489795059107472007-06-11T00:16:00.000-07:002007-06-11T00:20:53.803-07:00

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us?

TheBroadroom.Nethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11474971338995816520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-33319178014732522912007-06-07T12:11:00.000-07:002007-06-07T12:14:43.533-07:00

Women, Know Your Limits, by Harry Enfield

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-30979401201632447132007-06-03T22:04:00.001-07:002007-06-03T22:04:57.720-07:00

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1170458495683780052007-02-02T15:19:00.000-08:002007-02-02T15:21:35.693-08:00

Thank you newjoker.A wealthy lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle along for the company.One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks "Oh, oh! I'm in deep s**t now!"Noticing some bones

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1169940758782280312007-01-27T15:27:00.000-08:002007-01-27T15:32:38.793-08:00

Thanks to typethis.A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1169357712135490122007-01-20T21:30:00.000-08:002007-02-02T15:24:06.966-08:00

Again, thank to Home Winemaker.Part 1A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before.

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1169356907121653112007-01-20T21:18:00.000-08:002007-01-20T21:21:47.136-08:00

Thanks to Home Winemaker. :)A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over,

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1161450896242970752006-10-21T10:01:00.000-07:002006-10-21T20:11:01.806-07:00

A mathematician, an engineer, and a physicist are being interviewed for a job. In each case, the interview goes along famously until the last question is asked: "How much is one plus one?"Each of them suspects a trap, and is hesitant to answer.The mathematician thinks for a moment, and says "I'm not sure, but I think it converges."The physicist says "I'm not sure, but I think it's on the order of

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1159151744076236682006-09-24T19:33:00.000-07:002006-09-24T19:35:44.086-07:00

Don't know who to thank for this as it was posted anonymously on a jokes forum. :)The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40's or early 50's."May I help you?" she asked."I want to see Valerie," the man replied."Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam."No. I must see

TheBroadroom.Nethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11474971338995816520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1140225657951349442006-02-17T16:56:00.000-08:002006-02-17T17:20:57.966-08:00

These are from imdb.com.Allan: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollack, isn't it? Museum Girl: Yes, it is. Allan: What does it say to you? Museum Girl: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1136062378385789882005-12-31T12:38:00.000-08:002005-12-31T14:58:49.230-08:00

I've been trying to write this post ever since Christmas Eve, when I found out that the BBC online radio service was playing a couple of Goon Shows.(If you have never heard The Goon Show, check out this link: The Goon Show Site, to get some background.)After that, I realized that Goon Show scripts were all over the Net. I started out with the intention of copying and pasting a whole bunch of

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1133908118643231612005-12-06T14:26:00.000-08:002005-12-06T14:28:38.656-08:00

Warning: sick sense of humor ahead.Confucius say:"Passionate kiss like spider's web-soon lead to undoing of fly.""Virginity like bubble. One prick-all gone!""Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.""Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.""Man with one chopstick go hungry.""Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.""Baseball is wrong

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1133745758344306102005-12-04T17:20:00.000-08:002005-12-04T17:22:38.360-08:00

Apologies to all the good lawyers out there.At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't heard the question."Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1133247981361997522005-11-28T23:05:00.000-08:002005-11-28T23:06:21.373-08:00

What's brown and sounds like a bell?Dung...

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1130960618765721792005-11-02T11:41:00.000-08:002005-11-02T11:43:38.776-08:00

Confucius Say:Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.Man who run in front of car get tired.Man who run behind car get exhausted.Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.Man who pass gas in church must sit in own pew.Man who shoot off mouth expect to lose face.He who put face in fruit drink get punch in the nose.Butcher who backs

Lesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04609692859063893818noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1130346921406734362005-10-26T10:12:00.000-07:002005-10-26T11:50:23.256-07:00

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.(courtesy Dirty Jobs)

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1126116534812725412005-09-07T10:39:00.000-07:002005-09-07T11:08:54.816-07:00

A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. He's sitting there contemplating life when he notices this wonderful piano music playing. He looks around, and there's no piano, no band and no speakers. So he asks the bartender where the music is coming from.The bartender says, "I've got a little man, who's about a foot high, and he plays a tiny little piano under the counter."The man doesn't

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1125164893416976192005-08-27T10:23:00.000-07:002005-08-27T10:48:13.423-07:00

ON METAPHYSICSDeja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.ON DEEP THOUGHTSA day without sunshine is like night.ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIESThere is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane." If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?ON HIGHER EDUCATIONCollege is a fountain of

TheBroadroom.Nethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11474971338995816520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1124844223710910652005-08-23T17:33:00.000-07:002005-08-23T17:43:43.716-07:00

An office manager had money problems and had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill. He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break. Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch

TheBroadroom.Nethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11474971338995816520noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1123658979240019782005-08-09T22:50:00.000-07:002005-08-10T22:31:23.816-07:00

Red Dwarf is one of my favorite tv shows of all time. If you haven't seen it, you really should...and try to catch it at the beginning (taping it if need be) because the story makes much more sense that way.I went to imdb to find some quotes from Red Dwarf but realized, out of context, the quotes would not be as funny as, say, the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy quotes were, out of their

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1123040972074178552005-08-02T20:44:00.000-07:002005-08-02T20:54:17.430-07:00

From the back of a Safeway Raisin Bran box:1.) Why can't a man living in New York, NY be buried west of the Mississippi?2.) How can you throw a ball with all your might and have it stop and come right back to you without hitting any wall, net or any other obstruction?3.) If you stand on a hard cement floor, how can you drop a raw egg five feet without breaking its shell?Questions courtesy

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1123006434514048482005-08-02T11:06:00.000-07:002005-08-02T11:20:56.036-07:00

Don't Cry On My Shoulders 'Cause You're Rusting My SpursHow Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life?I Been Roped and Throwed By Jesus In the Holy Ghost CorralI Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go BowlingI Flushed You From the Toilets Of My HeartI Wanna Whip Your CowI Would Have Writ You a Letter But I Couldn't

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1118613218670825532005-06-12T14:37:00.000-07:002005-06-12T14:53:38.686-07:00

A little old lady walked into the main branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the window that she wished to take the 3 million dollars that she had in the bag and open an account with the bank. But first, she said that she wished to meet the president of the bank due to the rather large amount of money involved. After looking into the

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12876855.post-1118182744645022952005-06-07T15:05:00.000-07:002005-06-07T15:22:12.256-07:00

A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all.And we were poor too. Why I wasn't born a boy... I'd have nothing to play with.During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.One day as I came home early from work... I saw a guy

Colleen Shirazinoreply@blogger.com0