Do I Sound Convincing Enough?

What I Will Do If I Were in the Place of a Girlfriend Cheated On PART 2

2009-03-30T14:00:00.000+08:00

Thank you to my good friend, I have decided to give peace a chance and let doubt rather than certainty on "stuff" win. Anyway, I have decided to write a Part 2 of my previous blog entry because the first one was just a letter i will purportedly write to a man who cheats on me. This time, I will reveal what I will do- DO. Have fun imagining!

1. Of course, I will have to let the guy ADMIT it. No matter what it takes to make him. I'll probably invite him for an innocent dinner, then I'll press the issue until he is left with no other choice but to say "YES, I AM CHEATING ON YOU". then, I'll smile the sweetest smile and hand to him his favorite drink which he doesnt know contains benzene. Short-term exposure to high levels of benzene can cause drowsiness, dizziness, unconsciousness, and death. (Yeah, death. cheating men should die!) But since I am very kind, I'll make sure he suffers only the first three.

2. When he finally passes out, ofcourse i'll bring him to his place. Being the loving girlfriend,now ex, I'll clean him up. Yes, I'll clean him up and make sure that no stray hair is left on his entire body. Oh, his other woman would loveeeeee that!

3. Then, I'll go over his bitch's house and pay her a visit. She deserves that. After all, she chose to mess up with me, a very sane individual. When she opens her door, I'll poke her eyeballs until she looks like an anime character. Isn't that sweet?

4. But of course, i'll have to drive to their homes first before i'd be able to do that. And most probably, i'll change plans.

i'd just probably end up crying at home.

While the bitch and the @$$**** are having fun.

Change - Why it is Exciting

2009-03-14T18:35:00.001+08:00

As usual, I have gotten the energy to write a blog entry when I should be doing better things now, like reviewing for our final exams... I'll keep this short anyway.

It just came to me how people I love would change all of a sudden without warning me. I effin' want to change too as they slowly make their lives a little more farther from me, but it seems that I do not have that opportunity now. Maybe being with myself for a longer time would do the trick. I don't know. I just am not that sure.

When people change, I guess we should let them, and we should make sure that we are able to accept the things that go with that change, including changes in our own beliefs, our own understandings and our own priorities in life. I have yet to discover how to do exactly that with all the grace that I could possibly muster. And when I do, I pray that I'd be able to stick to it.

Change - Why it is Exciting

2009-03-14T18:35:00.000+08:00

If I Were in a Beauty Pageant

2009-03-10T18:29:00.000+08:00

A while ago, while we were having a break from our Election Laws class, my classmates and I discussed a very related matter. We talked about the Bb. Pilipinas pageant Q&A.

As I was the only one who was able to watch the entire show, I told them whatever questions and answers that I was able to remember. For the sake of my fans as Miss Earth- Minerals, I shall be posting my "supposed" and "suggested" answers for the top three questions which were asked during that night.

1. Q: Do people think you're not intelligent just because you're beautiful?
A: Thank you for that question Sir. I had been, should I say, lucky?, that I've never gone through such a situation. I try to balance everything in my life, in the same way that I make sure that I am not just a pretty face. A witty and smart woman radiates beauty altogether, but a beautiful woman who is just caught up on things that will make her even more beautiful physically becomes a waste. Thank you and Good Evening.

2. Q: What is your favorite number and what is it's significance to your life?
A: Good Evening. My favorite number is 3 and it signifies the year 2003 when I graduated from highschool. I became exposed to the world of transition, of people who are trying to know and discover who they are while making the most that they could in order to ensure a good and bright future. It was in 2003 when I learned to let go of the selfishness of a kid in me and started to appreciate life and people, in the way that it deserves to be appreciated. Thank you.

This was my FAVORITE...

3. Q: If you were to choose a boyfriend for Flower, who would it be and why?
A: That is an EXTREMELY WISE question there Sir. First of all, Good Evening. Flower is such an important person for me, she has been my sister @ Law school for the past two years already and I want the best for her. So, if a man should come and love her romantically now, I just wish that it would be someone who'd never treat her wrong. Someone who would always make her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world... Thank you.

So there. You probably know now why I always look forward to the Q&A portion of beauty pageants. I love answering the questions, even if I am not correct.

Ano Ate Noreen, winner ba? hahaha!!

Overdose of Love

2009-03-10T11:12:00.000+08:00

Yes. I probably have had too much of the love thing lately that lovesongs are continously [and against my will] playing on my mind as I write this entry. A while ago, while I was waiting for the jeepney which I was riding on to finally go after half an hour, this one song of a great singer [I'd rather not say the name, I am invoking my right against self-incrimination, haha!] just popped into my head.

I tried to fight it off with whatever rock and alternative songs that I could muster but no, they were persistently making their presence felt. The love songs continued...So here I am now, writing this while James Ingram's songs are making their way to my playlist.

Is this a side-effect of the thirst-inducing [for Adi], hunger-stimulating [that's for me] kilig story which I heard somewhere from someone?

UGH! Someone give me something for LOVESTORy overdose! hahahaha!!!

But then again, I'm loving it. After all, that's where I get all my youthful energy. hahaha!

So yeah, just BRING IT ON! hahaha!!!

Congratulations Mel!

2009-03-08T05:04:00.000+08:00

Our dear friend Melody Adelheid Gersbach (the mestiza girl beside me] just bagged herself the Bb. Pilipinas International title at last night's pageant. Yohhoo!! Congratulations Mel! See, we told you, your previous detractors here in Legazpi are probably hiding their shameless faces now. Talaga nga naman, kung sino ang inaapakan ay nagwawagi. hahaha!! It was such a beauty seeing you there on stage last night, you made us all so proud of you! Way to go Mel!!

Goodbye Francis M...

2009-03-06T08:14:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe my ears. francis Magallona...THE Francis Magallona that I have always loved seeing on TV has now passed away...

May the Good Lord bless his soul...

On Partners and Marriage by Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

2009-03-03T09:35:00.000+08:00

Note: I have read this from my former officemate's blogsite. She had it reposted from somewhere... I just love what the article says and sharing it here with whoever may get to read it is probably the best thing to do...

I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved.
But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage.
Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling.
Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives
than for what it makes possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me.
I did not want to make a mistake.
I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever,
or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do.
Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered
and petty in their dealings with each other.

I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other.
I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering days and could not imagine
subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.
And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples
who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence.
They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other
and tolerant of each other's foibles.

It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible.
How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness,
so much irritation at the other's habits?
What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable toeven stay together,
much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well.

There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility.
Good people can create a bad relationship,
even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed.
It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together.
It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail.

You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual attration.
Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out
the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side.

This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts.

Others deny the sexual side altogether
in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality.
But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large
that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other.
They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears.
They see each other at their worst and at their best.
They share time together before they get swept up
into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.

This is the ideal, but not often possible.
If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately,
you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility.
One of these is laughter.

Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term.

If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others,
then you have a healthy relationship to the world.
Laughter is the child of surprise. I
f you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other.
And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.

Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter.
Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you
against those who do not share the same viewpoint,
and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect.
When two people first get together,
they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them.
They find each other endlessly fascinating,
and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world.
As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again.

If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept,
you will inevitably come to grief.
Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life.
If that makes you love her more, your love will grow.
If it does not, be careful.
If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you,
eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life.
We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic.
If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships,
while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical,
you must take care that the distance does not become an unbridgeable gap
that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself.

We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts
that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny.
If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you,
or if you cannot nourish them in her,
you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds
where you share the business of life,
but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams.
From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures
that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well.
If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow,
and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts.
I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle.
But I think it is not too strong a word.

There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation.

Transformation is one of the most common events of nature.
The seed becomes the flower.
The cocoon becomes the butterfly.
Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child.
We never question these, because we see them around us everyday.
To us they are not miracles,
though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.

Marriage is a transformation we choose to make.
Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower.
We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come.
If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good.
If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed.

We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage.
It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages
that I feared when I was younger.
It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love
into harshness and bitterness.
Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed
into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful
than the heat of fresh passion.
All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled
I would be left with something lesser and bitter.

But there is positive transformation as well.
Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things.
But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love.
Two histories intermingle.
Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousness come together
and share a view of life that passes before them.
They remain separate, but they also become one.

There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure!and a constriction, as I had once feared.
This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps.
Tension and traps are part of every choice of life,
from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers.
Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt
that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting,
and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge
that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one.
Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company,
but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment
that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.

So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons.
It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.
If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow,
if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken
and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons
that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers.

If not, then wait.
The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience.
When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom ...endlessly.
Be like a postage stamp.
Stick to one thing until you get there

Puppy Love?

2009-02-28T21:09:00.000+08:00

Just a few minutes ago, I was out at our school partying "for a cause". This has got to be one of the funniest and most "endearing" moments of my life @ AQ Law because of the various things that had happened tonight. First, I witnessed yet another "possible" unfaithfulness. It's something I cannot get over with. Never in my entire life. As a girl, I know that has got to be one of the most hurtful things that a guy could ever do for a girl. And I just can't take seeing it. Well, hopefully, it isn't true... But then again, it is THEIR business.

Second, I witnessed and was a part of "two" girls' puppy love. [ehem...please, no unnecessary comments on this one] It was fun, really. I have to admit. Seeing, and being a part of it was fun. It felt as if I was brought back into my high school years, only now what we had to dealt with was a more "senior" person. anyway, as I was saying, it was indeed fun. Lots of memories were brought back to me...

But above it all, I realized that I am so lucky to be loved by a guy so faithful, someone whom I trust.. someone who I know will not do anything silly behind my back. Someone, who I know will never dance with some love-struck girls while I stay at home and sleep. Someone who will never sit in between two girls obviously flirting while I text him asking where he is and what he is currently doing. Someone who will never pretend that he isn't gonna get married yet while I am busy thinking of what our wedding motif will be. Someone who is like the person I love now...

I thank God for giving such a wonderful man in my life. sure, I can imagine Adi's face as he reads this but I have to admit that this is one of those nights when I realize that indeed, the Lord has brought me to someone so dear. Someone not perfect... but so dear.

I just feel that I have to make this clear, while I feel it. I may joke and kid around a LOT of times, but the real thing... is way different.

Goodnight everybody. :)

Contraceptives, Anyone?

2009-02-25T16:52:00.000+08:00

Earlier this morning, Adi, [my friend and officebud who I've been mentioning in a couple of my blog posts] discussed why we think there's nothing wrong about not attending Sunday masses and other Church affairs religiously. At the end of our little "after-work-but-while-walking-home" chat, I was convinced that there really wasn't anything wrong if I would not be able to have my forehead crossed with ash later in the afternoon. After all, I believe that it is my faith that willl save me, and not some religion.

But when I learned that our professor for our 5:30 - 7:30 p.m. class wasn't coming, I felt the urge to attend the Ash Wednesday mass and I knew that guilt would be picking on me while I sleep if I don't go. So there, I went with two of my girlfriends, Ate Noreen and Ate Rhea to the church beside our school [just a couple of steps away] to attend the 5:30 mass. Just as I expected, the church was jampacked.

Everything went well, except for the heat. There was just one thing that got me raising my brows. The priest who gave the gospel was one of the close-minded conservatives who was convinced that it is their purpose in life to teach Catholics that using contraceptives is a mortal sin.

According to him, this Lenten season, people who have commited mortal sin should repent. People who have undergone abortion, who have aborted a child and those who practice contraception.

So, I was like, "Okay ka lang Father?"

My sister uses contraceptives, my cousins, people I know and I guess every other married woman who wants to plan their pregnancies. So, what do you call them now Father?

I just don't get it. I don't understand why on earth some people have to be so against contraception and Family Planning. I mean, don't they get it? The method isn't meant to KILL andy child. the purpose is merely to PLAN pregnancies, to make sure that a woman won't get pregnant without being truly prepared for it. Maybe it's so easy for priests to say NO to contraception because they do not know how it is to get pregnant. But that's another thing.

I just get so pissed when priests say something in their homilies that are sooo wayyyy out of line. After all, we are in a whole new generation already and the ultra conservative beliefs of the Church are no longer applicable now. I mean, hey, thousands of people listen to these priests and most, if not many, of them will go out of the church convinced that what these priests say are correct.

Then that must explain the 92.32M projected population in the country this 2009.

Ugh.

February 23 is a national school holiday

2009-02-19T16:40:00.000+08:00

Yahoo!!!

Just expressing my happiness. I hope Law school is included. It is right? right?

I'm looking forward for whatever holiday there is, I want to spend as much time as I can with my mom since she's leaving again on the 4th of March..

New Moon Hit Me

2009-02-08T14:12:00.001+08:00

Its four minutes past five o’clock in the morning. I haven’t slept since I woke up at ten thirty a.m yesterday and I don’t feel any heaviness on my eyelids. Not until I tell you how happy I am I got to finish New Moon, the sequel to Meyer’s Twilight. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to finish it until summer’s come, with my classes and all. So you could imagine how perked up my energy was when I found the time to finish the last 60 pages of my e-book.

I didn’t plan to finish it. Not yet. Since I started reading at 2:30 am, after I got home from being with friends for the weekend, I figured that I might just read a good 20 pages or so. But well, the story got me so caught up, and here I am, telling you how lovely it is.

The Twilight movie did help in giving it justice. It made imaging a lot easier for me as I read every single page. I didn’t read the first book. I just saw the movie out of curiosity. People kept talking about it, they blogged about it and reviews were all praises. When I watched the movie, I wasn’t as hyped up. And I kept thinking how shallow people could get by blogging about how “wowed” they were by the movie. I knew some were just getting it on with the rest of the crowd, that’s how things are right? One fad starts, and everybody else wants to get involved.

So when I went out the movie house, I said, yes, the movie is nice. But it’s not something I’d be so over enthusiastic about like how other girls would talk about it. Exaggeration, I must say.

Reader that I am, I knew I had to get hold of a copy of the real novel. I thought that maybe reading would make me change my opinion. It hadn’t.

I love the book, yes. But I love it not because I was thinking of Rob Pattison while I did, nor because I imagined myself to be Bella while finishing the novel. I loved it because I am giving credit to how creative Meyer was. She made me realize that no single story is crazy enough not to make you rich. Or to make you affect some other person’s life. She wrote the book as simply as she could. As if she was narrating it herself. And that what I liked about it, it was real, it connected. I must say that there are only a few gifted writers that could connect to an audience like that. I’ve made so many mistakes of buying beautifully packaged books only to find out that it was a waste of money. There are just so many authors out there who I wished hadn’t written any book, to save themselves from shame at least. [ok, that’s an uncalled for opinion]

I wish I had the time and creativity to write a book. Something not as extraordinary as Meyer’s but as remarkable at least… the frustrated writer in me was awaken… but I guess she’d have to stay frustrated for the moment.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-05T06:23:00.000+08:00

Have you got plans for V-day? ME? Aide from the usual dinner, there is none.

Valentines Day have not been as significant to me as it is to other people. I don't see the reason why there is this one day when you are supposed to specially show your love to your partner or to anybody else. I don't see the point really. After all, we can show it in any other day, in whatever way possible.

But then again, it's nice too to know that when this day of the year comes, you aren't sad (in the love aspect at least). Though love can be found in various forms [friends, family, pets.. etc], romantic love is just something different. On the other hand, a person really doesn't need this to have plans for V-day. When I was in high school, my friends and I would go to Quick and Hearty and have lunch there. We were all singles then, so we had all the time for ourselves, and we were happy.

My V-day will be with George, whom I have been with for 4 years now, and who is still with me today. And I am happy. At least, after all the fights we have been through, we still get to spend another V-day together.

How about you? what's your plan for V-day. I hope my classmates will plan out something nice. haha! Maybe we can have the classes on Friday canceled right? And let's dine out. hahaha!!

Finally! .... but the Voice Box

2009-01-26T20:06:00.000+08:00

Midterms is finally over. (well, except for that one subject scheduled for Feb..) I am relieved that it has come to pass once again, with the hope that I'll pass them all. But as it has always been, the stress has taken it's toll on me. Just as we were having our last exam a while ago, I felt my throat getting more and more itchy than it was last when I woke up. And right now, the itch has gotten worse, I feel sore throat's coming to pay me a visit after I have over-used my voice the entire week.

This is one thing I can't get off my system. When exams week are over, I usually get this thing on my throat. Blame it on the way I study. Sigh... I am such a noisy person whenever I review for major exams. I need to talk out loud everything that I need to memorize and even the concepts that I need to remember. It is tiring, yes. But if don't do it, I will surely fail my exams. I can NEVER memorize silently. That's my sickness. I need to say it out loud before it will stick in my mind. I remember things way better that way.

I guess it's not really a bad thing, but if I'd be reviewing for a BIGGER coverage, I know I will be hurting my voice box pretty bad. OK, so don't raise your brows at me. I am not a singer, but I sure know how bad it is to have your voice box paralyzed. Go ask my father. The right part of his voice box has been paralyzed after he has abused it with videoke and teaching. The first few months were pretty bad because we could hardly hear him. It's a good thing that he's on his way to recovery. His voice is sounding much better now.

Anyway, enough with my father's voice box. hehehe.

Talking a lot is really bad. I wonder how those guys in Wowowee survive without hurting their throats....

Bad Bad Driver

2008-12-28T15:35:00.000+08:00

Last night was one of the fondest days I have ever had here in my trip. We went around Bugis and Escalade to shop for souvenirs and see most of the sights there. The place was fabulous, jam packed but fabulous nonetheless.

However, when we went home at around 12 midnight, the experience went from great to not-so-great. We rode a bus home because the Mrt's would take very long and we'd have to make 3 transfers in order to reach our place.

Buses here are quite huge. And it's beautiful. What makes it a hard way to travel is the fact that many people take it and you'd end up face to face with a "Pana's" underarms wide open. Ugh. It was a good thing that this guy wasnt smelling bad. He was odorless, in fairness.

But no, that was not yet the thing that destroyed my night. It was that ugly and mean driver who shouted at us, saying something in Mandarin. We didnt even know why on earth that ugly guy was shouting so loudly at us, funny thing is, we didnt even he was shouting AT US. all the while, we though he was shouting at those guys behind us because we didnt know that we did anything wrong.

Yun pala eh, he waqnted us to go to the rear part of the bus because we were apparently blocking the way of the passengers who would be coming up the bus. Ang gagong un, eh nung pagsakay namin ala pa naman masyadong pasahero eh, so we werent really blocking anyone.

Pero it wasnt that which annoyed us, it was the way he talked to us.He was shouting so loud, as in all the people in the bus were looking at us! and we didnt even understand him, baka pinapahiya na kami nun di namin alam. Classmaqtes, just imagine Judge Nieva shouting 3 times louder! That was how the ugly driver spoke to us.

Talk about discrimination. That driver must have obviously noticed that we were of different race, so he thought that he had all the right to treat us that way. there was one old Singaporean man who was talking to the driver while he was shouting at us. The man said something in Mandarin and it appears like he didnt like what the driver was doing to us. It was such a miserable thing to experience in a foreign country.

Anyway, I had to let it pass since I am an outsider here..pero kung sa Legazpi yun ginawa sakin...naku....alam na.

So, what did we do, you may ask...

We got the bus number and reported the driver to the authorities.

Screw him! hahahah!!

Day Number One

2008-12-23T05:25:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was day no. 1 for my 13-day stay here in Singapore. And it was a good thing that I wasn't disappointed at all. You see, its my firts travel outside the Philippines and you could just imagine how childish my expectations are. hehe...

The travelling part was the hardest. I had one *huge* handcarry bag with me (the black one I use to school) which was filled with all sorts of stuff, from my brother's brownie box, 2 of my nephew's feeding bottles, my kkay kit, cellphone, digicam and music player. it was heavy indeed. But nothing gets heavier than my nephew. My! From 3 a.m (on our way to T3) till we landed at SIngapore at around 10 a.m, he never wanted to leave my arms! He wanted me to carry him all through out- which I did ofcourse, otherwise he'd go ballistic. After two days in Manila taking care of him and a day in travel, you could just imagine how sore my left arm is (since I use it most of the time carrying him, my right hand is used to pick stuff, get things etc,,) Until now, it still is aching..

Anyway, after arriving, we had breakfast at the terminal. There are so many Indians and blacks here (pero mas marami pa ring Indians) and the Immigration people look scary. But they didnt do anything scary naman to us, they just don't like smiling. hehehe!

After breakfast, we rode a taxi (right hand sila dito) going to my brother's place. It was a bit far from the airport so I had a good chance to see the roads of Gapor. It sure is clean! There are trees alongside the roads and there are no smoke belchers. Basta, super clean talaga.

Naging prob ko lang is yung amoy ng taxi driver..hehehe! eh di syempre hilo hilo pa ang lola nyo kasi super aga nung gising tapos pagod pa sa pagbitbit ng napaka gaang bata, tapos pag sakay biglang BOOM!! putok ng driver. hahaha!!! kakaloka!!

When we arrived at his place, all I did was unpack and fix my and BM's stuff. Slept for a good two hours and then rested a few hours more.

Around 6:30 p.m, we went to the Night Safari. It's the zoo here in Singapore, only better. It's so huge, and there are so many trails to follow. You'd have to ride a tram to be able to go around the entire "forest" without getting exhausted. There were so many animals, they arent caged. I was just wondering how those animals don't come near to the people. There were elephants, lions, tigers, cheetas (?),hippos.. etc.. I felt like a kid.

ooppss.. the kid is awake now, got to go or else he'll throw the keyboard again! I'll be posting the pictures tonight.

A Little More Trouble Sleeping

2008-12-12T20:06:00.000+08:00

I guess I will have to deal with more sleepless nights in the next few weeks.

I can't sleep, just can't. I've tried counting sheeps, lambs, cats, dolphins, even tigers on my head but my mind won't shut off. It's been like this since i started thinking about Christmas break. My mind definitely needs a break. Not that it has been functioning very very well, no. It's just that I need to stop thinking first and just let things happen without me having to fear yet another failure. Know what I mean? That breathing space, that taste of being carefree.

I sure hope that I'll be a better me as soon as I welcome 2009. Keeping my fingers crossed for a way, wayyyyy better me.

Denying Sadness

2008-11-26T18:33:00.000+08:00

November 26, 2008....

I had always been told that being happy is a choice. That taking life one step at a time makes it easier to handle. That appreciating each day as if it were the last would help me die happy.

But how come today has become so difficult? I gave myself the choice to be happy and smile the entire day, yet I still ended up frowning tonight. I took this day slowly and rationalized every detail it had, but the sadness was still there. I appreciated the fact that I am breathing, that my family is complete, that I have eaten more than thrice today, but why, why still this emptiness?

Feeling the need to let go off my feelings, I did what I usually do when I become emotional. I blogged about it and revealed that I am feeling odd because I do not even know what makes me feel this way. My friend, whom I least expected to be talking sense about emotions such as these, left me a comment which, surprisingly gave me answers. He said, "maybe the problem is not because we cannot pinpoint what makes us feel that way.. the problem is admitting to one's self what it is that makes us feel that way... kind of denying the existence of "that" thing which is the cause of that emptiness.." So there, bulls eye. It hit me, it just hit me. The words were so true that I..well, sniffed.

At 22, I know I shouldn't be having emotions as strong as this. Or at the very least, I shouldn't be treating myself as if I am a 50-year old failure. On the other hand, it also got me wondering how many women, both young and not-so-young, are feeling exactly the same way as I do.

November 27...

I knew it, many women feel the same way as I do. That old lurking feeling of being nonexistent, a feeling that is more imagined than real, a feeling that no words can explain simply because it is something you just cannot be proud of, something you'd rather clothe in vague terms than say boldly and at the same time attract sympathetic eyes towards your direction.

The sadness is still here, I still feel it. But unlike yesterday, it has lessened. After all, life is beautiful. It will be COMPLETELY beautiful. If not now, at least tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, at least on the day after that. And if nothing happens still, I'd still have my faith to hold on to. And if that isn't enough, maybe the sadness will just come to pass...

My Christmas Wish List

2008-11-12T05:29:00.000+08:00

Christmas is fast approaching and I can't help but start dreaming of things I'd like to receive this Christmas. Since it wouldn't be a sin to dream a little bigger this time, here are two of the things I've been eying on:

1. A ROLEX WATCH.

This one has been on my mind for like.. half a year already. I so want this watch because it's so elegant but not flashy or anything. Plus the fact that I can use it with whatever attire, be it on the formal or casual side. I cannot wait to have it worn on my own wrist... Well. I can settle for a non-Rolex watch because I know it costs a fortune. An equally durable brand would do, but I still want this design. Sigh... will I ever be able to have this...

2. A NECKLACE WITH A JADE HEART PENDANT
Isn't these lovely? I got the picture from a site. I was actually looking only for one with a jade heart pendant, but this one came out. I think it's DESTINY! hahaha! But kidding aside, these pendants are uber lovely...

Vermeil (24k Gold over Sterling Silver) Genuine Green Jade, Rose Quartz, Red Jade, Onyx, and Simulated Blue Turquoise 5 Stone Sterling Silver .925 Heart Filigree Reversible Pendant Jewelry Set.

It would fit just every mood, and that elegant look just can't escape my eyes. Oh well, another one of my dream presents...

How about you? What's your Christmas Wish List?

Second Semester Resolutions

2008-11-08T20:08:00.000+08:00

I think I need this now. Couldn't wait for New Year to have these things all planned out since I am expecting some even more great deal of hard work this semester. Actually, what got me inspired again (as usual) are the unsolicited (yet appreciated) advices of our office's Director.

Well you see, I was supposed to be shifting my office duties from the morning to afternoons. since I usually study from 11:30 p.m to around 3:00 a.m. Atty. Joan talked me out of it because she said that I had to train myself to be mentally active in the morning as the Bar examinations starts at 8:00. According to her, it would be best if I trained myself to do my studying in the early hours of the day (around 3:00 a.m to 7:00 a.m, just in time to prepare for work at 9:00) and be asleep during those hours when I (at present) usually study.

Being the sucker for whatever study habit advices that I am, I immediately reverted back to my original work schedule (mornings, that is.) And to even more convince myself that I am seriously getting the feel of being a dedicated student now, these resolutions have been founded just tonight:

1. Cut telenovela watching from five to two. Yes, you read that right. From Diyosa down till Three Dads and One Mom, my eyes are glued to that tube. My... I should actually be ashamed for doing that. Many hours wasted for some actually senseless made-up stories. This is something that would be a real challenge for me. Everyone watches these shows at home and I couldn't help but join them. But ofcourse, starting on Monday, I will slowly struggle to head to my room after Betty La Fea ends, and sleep as sound as a baby. (please ABS... please don't change Betty's time slot)

2. Study at 4:00 a.m, fight off laziness and do it straight till 7:00 a.m Another tough change for me. Had done this the last time in 3rd year highschool, so changing my body clock would entail a lot (and I mean ALOT) of patience. I know I'd only be able to do this if I succeed with No. 1.

3. Never be late again at work. Should I be covering my face now? Work starts at 9:00 and I still get late. Darn... blame it on my being a late sleeper. It's just a good thing that my ever understanding work buddy doesn't rub it in my face. hehehe... But don't think that I get an hour late. Of course not, latest that I get would be 10 minutes. Pero syempre, late pa rin yun. So, this one is 3rd on my list.

4. Read religiously- even if the teacher is kind. Uh-huh. Another one of my issues. I tend to be abusive of my nice professors, and the lazy ones. Lazy professor brings out the lazy student in me. Huhuh... I know, I know, I will be the one to bear the consequences for doing that. So I really have to change this attitude and read even more.

and lastly...

5. Wake up and forget. The past semester has been an exciting one. Particularly because of determination-inducers. But they are now things of the past, and as they say, "MOVE ON!" (heheheeh!!)

So, there I have it. Wish me luck!

Confused And Misused Word No. 2- AGGRAVATE

2008-11-07T04:41:00.000+08:00

I must admit that this is one memorable word for me and my high school friends. I need not go over the details but it became a favorite during our field study days in Mindoro.

AGGRAVATE:

1. to make worse or more troublesome: "Drinking alcohol or taking tranquilizers or sedating antihistamines shortly before bedtime can aggravate snoring by reducing muscle tone"

2. To rouse exasperation or anger; provoke

Note:

Some people claim that aggravate can only mean "to make worse," and not "to irritate," on the basis of the words etymology [Latin aggravare, aggravat-: ad-, ad-+ gravare, to burden (from gravis, heavy)] But in doing so, they ignore not only an English sense in use since the 17th century, but also one of the original Latin ones.

Aggravate comes from the Latin verb aggravare, which meant "to make heavier, " that is, "to add to the weight of." The Latin word also had the extended senses "to annoy" and "to oppress." One third of the Usage Panel does not approve of its use in the sentence It's the endless wait for luggage that aggravates me the most about air travel. When using aggravate
in this sense, especially in formal writing, some of your readers may possibly view it as an error.

Hmmm.. that makes sense. We had been using the word in the [popular] wrong way. (Sentence concealed for dignity purposes: ) I don't know if it was just a joke of some sort or if we had really intended to use it in that manner. Technically though, we would be right because it is accepted in its Latin use. Let me try constructing my own sentence...

I feel that being too sympathetic to depressed people aggravates their feeling of self-pity. Maybe we just have to listen and shut up. After all, what they actually need are not advices, but simply a good set of ears to listen. {Can relate? }

Have a great Friday everyone!

Confused Word For the Month of November

2008-11-06T04:37:00.000+08:00

I bought this book in a sale at National a few months ago. Had been looking for a good book to read over the semestral break and luckily for me, I stumbled upon this one which was slashed to almost half its price.

In order for me to force myself to finish the entire book, I will be posting in a pair of confused and misused word for every month. And November will be the first.

Note: All that will be posted are exact lifts from the book.

BLATANT: (adj) Unpleasantly loud and noisy
It is not surprising that BLATANT and FLAGRANT are often confused, since the words have overlapping meanings. Both attribute conspicuousness and offensive to certain acts.

BLATANT emphasizes the failure to conceal the act. FLAGRANT, on the other hand, emphasizes the serious wrongdoing inherent in the offense. Certain contexts may admit either word depending on what is meant.

Thus, a violation of human rights might either be BLATANT or FLAGRANT. If the act was committed with contempt for public scrutiny, it is BLATANT. If its barbarity was monstrous, it is FLAGRANT.

BLATANT is sometimes used to simply mean 'obvious', as in the blatant danger of such an approach, but this use has not been established and is widely considered an error.

Grade School Memories

2008-11-05T19:46:00.000+08:00

I was not able to post this earlier this morning because Multiply had some sort of maintenance thingy.

While I was eating breakfast, thoughts of our grade school rival groups came into my mind and I could not help but smile. Everything just flashed back and funny memories of elementary years made me feel new again. I super miss those carefree years, when having petty fights with good friends remain the constant biggest problem, when being scolded by the teacher is such a shame, when learning that your crush knows your name completes your day, when being friends with the “in” people makes you known all over school, when doing pranks-turned-foul free from liability.

Grade School. Just like the smell of bacon over breakfast, thoughts of it makes me close my eyes. And to make this post easier, I have decided to make it outline-ish.

In grade school:

1) We had this group, called TEENSQUAD (barf!). It was composed of, to name a few- me, kristel quinto, kristine gutierez, monnette santillan, patricia medina, maricrisel morato and jaydee bercasio. There was also another group who called themselves PARAGONS composed of angela balacano, ingrid weinas, karla marinay, hazel lunas, kristel yap, al solmirano and many many others. It was so funny because there was this kind of competition between us two groups. You know, those kind of silly, childish stuff that you try to win over. Whenever we get together and reminisce all those years, all of us would just laugh and some would even want to keep mum about it because of shame. haha! We all ended up as friends and these two groups remain but a part of history.

2) I had this evil teacher whom killed my dreams of being a writer. She was the adviser of the elementary school paper. I approached her days after opening of classes, and asked if I could try joining the paper. She just looked at me and said, “Ay, sorry baba, igwa na panu ki mga members na napili.” And I was like, “what? ni walang announcement sa screening or whatsoever? tapos filled up na lahat?” Oh well, I accepted my fate. I was just ‘this’ unknown in elementary, so leave the writing to the more intelligent individuals.

3) Students would rush to the board just to be the first to erase the writings! haha! isn’t that funny? Back in grade school, honor para sa amin ang maunang mahawakan ang eraser para mabura ang mga writings sa blackboard. haha! kahit pa magkanda puti-puti na ang mga uniform namin at lahat dahil sa chalk dust, go pa rin kami. haha!!

4) Noisy Pupils, Changing Seats, Leaving Dirts. Oh how I hated the officers who would do the listing. aba’y sobrang sipsip sa mga teachers. Bata pa eh talagang may constant need for approval na. At yang leaving dirts na yan? tae! Yan ang bumutas sa maliit kong bulsa nung grade 4 ako. Imagine, you have to pay 5.00 PER DIRT that you leave, and what’s worse was that even though I would try my best to check my area before leaving school, I still end up getting listed! The argumentalist that I was even back then, I would defend myself with all might to my adviser. But ofcourse, being the ‘unpopular’ girl, I’d get reprimanded and still had to pay 5.00. Evil Evil grade school teachers.

5) I hated Math but I loved the Math Teachers. Mr and Mrs. Llagas. These married couples were among the few teachers during those days who made a mark in my heart. They were so kind to us and never cared if you were popular or not. Mr. Llgas, specially, would reprimand you if you did something wrong, even if you’re the richest or most intelligent pupil there. He was really fair. And depite my hating math, he never hated students like me. Instead, he would encourage us and he’d make sure that we learned what we had to learn.

6) Barn Dances. On the last day of the Intramurals, we would have this barn dance wherein everyone would have the chance to strut their butts and have atleast a few good hours to chat with all other elementary people. I loved barn dances but I only got to atend once, during sixth grade because my parents didnt allow me to come in the earlier years.

7) High School crushes. How could this be gone from my list? Two of my closest friends in grade school, had this HUGE HUGE crush on a high school freshman and junior when we were still in sixth grade. We would position ourselves in front of their room (a few meters away) during recess time as the guy was seated right in front of the door. We’d do FLAMES of their names just to see if it matched. haha!

Hay, sobrang dami ng memories, and I can’t even write it all here. It’s ten o clock in the morning and I have yet to start with my readings.. hehehe.. Till next reminiscing…

Just a Thought

2008-11-04T04:37:00.000+08:00

I heard this somewhere, too long ago.

Why do you wear a watch? Do you wear it because you hate being late? Or do you wear it just to make your wrist look better?

How Everything Changes and How It Does Not

2008-10-31T05:30:00.000+08:00

Last night was one of the rare moments when my high school friends and I would be able to get together and update each others' lives. During college, it was a sembreak occassion which we would look forward to, but after we have all gone separate ways and landed jobs (and some higher education stuff), getting together became a lot harder as our schedules would hardly match. We never get completed though and it's a sad fact that we'd probably have to count some years more before the 8 of us would be able to enjoy any slumber party again.

Anyway, it is just so nice to see how things about our lives have changed. Georgeanna is finally an accountant and works in a bank, enjoying some perks that the rest of us would have to work hard for to earn (haha!). She's also considering an offer to be a branch accountant in a government bank somewhere here in our region. Jaydee works with her too and would be pursuing her dreams of being a certified accountant as well within a year or two. Dhanna is on her 2nd year on medschool in UST and tries her best to struggle with the difficulties of being a med student there. Amparo, who is in her 2nd year of law studies at San Beda, still is poised and happy despite having to juggle lovelife and studies, constantly praying that she'd pass through every year without being beat. Joan and Mariel (who weren't able to come) are now full fledged nurses and contiously trying to gain some experience in order to fulfill their dreams of being expats. There's also Arceli whom we called last night to send our wishes of goodluck for her Civil Engineering examinations this coming November. We are so excited for her to become one as it had always been her dream since we were in high school. We're keeping our fingers crossed for you Cel.

All of us have different sets of friends already, some has even joined themselves in a sorority while some have began enjoying the life of a working single lady. But despite of that all, when we get back together, it's as if nothing has changed with the friendship that we have.

I am also looking forward with another night out with some of my truest and bestest highschool girls, Elloy, Huzzie, Karla, Kat, Doinx, Melody and Kate this coming November 2. I hope matuloy yun... keeping my fingers double crossed.