tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-127097232008-09-07T11:50:02.302-04:00Nick's Bytes"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent,
intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next."
-- Ursula K. LeGuinSometimes Saintly Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16939152657551690867noreply@blogger.comBlogger1053125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12709723.post-74157184440659283742008-09-07T07:13:00.009-04:002008-09-07T11:37:37.812-04:00The Names of God<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMO8S_t8z_I/AAAAAAAAECA/sQvq93pXq8w/s1600-h/YHWH_fancy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMO8S_t8z_I/AAAAAAAAECA/sQvq93pXq8w/s320/YHWH_fancy.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5243241425717219314" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);">YHWH</span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><div><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Back in 1906, <a href="http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/peace/laureates/1952/schweitzer-bio.html">Albert Schweitzer</a> published a book entitled </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">The Quest of the Historical Jesus: A Critical Study of Its Progress from Reimarus to Wrede</span></i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style:italic">. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">For years theologians had been attempting to develop of portrait of Jesus based on history rather than the limited information contained the four—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John—canonical gospels. </span></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style:italic;font-family:Verdana;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">S</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-style:italic;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">chweitzer concluded that the “historical Jesus” presented in such studies</span></span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "> were reflections of the authors' own historical and social contexts. In other words, if the author was a conservative German theologian then the Jesus he portrayed would have all the attributes of a conservative German Lutheran theologian; if the author was a liberal Scottish Presbyterian pastor, then the Jesus he portrayed had all the attributes of a liberal Scottish Presbyterian pastor.</span></span></span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">I was reminded of Schweitzer’s conclusions last week as I read an email forwarded to me by another <a href="http://www.ucc.org/">United Church of Christ</a> pastor. She (rightly in my view) was concerned about the email’s author’s fundamentalist view of God.</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">In part the email read:</span></span></span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><blockquote>…to believe that God is not male is a heresy deserving of eternal damnation.</blockquote></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">The email was, of course, written by a man. I was reminded not only of Albert Schweitzer’s finding but also of the statement that i<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">n the beginning God created human kind in God’s image and human kind has been repaying the compliment ever since.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">As I see it, one of the (many) problems of describing God—or Jesus or Moses or Buddha or Mohammed, etc.—in our own image is that the very act proclaims that we are OK and everyone not like us is not OK. Or worse, that indicates that we are superior to all who are not like us in skin color, gender, education, national origin, and everything else.</span></span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; font-family:Verdana;">That kind of exclusivity at the very least makes dialogue between folks difficult and at the worst easily leads to genocide.</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">In the third Chapter of the book of Exodus, Moses asks God’s name and</span></span> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM." And (God) said, "Say this to the people of </span><st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">Israel</span></st1:place></st1:country-region><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; ">, `I AM has sent me to you.'"</span></i></span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; font-family:Verdana;">YHWH—</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: normal; font-family:Verdana;">I am</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; font-family:Verdana;">—says that God is who God is, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: normal; font-family:Verdana;">not</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; font-family:Verdana;"> who you and I or anyone else wants God to be. I like that. I like that a lot! I like it much, much better than human beings creating God in their own image.</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; font-family:Verdana;">And, I really like then inclusivity of this hymn and I hope you will take a moment or two to listen to it:</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><p></p></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">Bring Many Names</span></span></span><br /><br /><div><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=8,0,0,0" width="335" height="28" id="divplaylist"><param name="movie" value="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5323634-f49"><embed src="http://www.divshare.com/flash/playlist?myId=5323634-f49" width="335" height="28" name="divplaylist" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed></object></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Bring many names, beautiful and good,<br />Celebrate, in parable and story,<br />Holiness in glory, living, loving God.<br />Hail and Hosanna! Bring many names!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Strong mother God, working night and day,<br />Planning all the wonders of creation,<br />Setting each equation, genius at play:<br />Hail and Hosanna, strong mother God!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Warm father God, hugging every child,<br />Feeling all the strains of human living,<br />Caring and forgiving, till we’re reconciled:<br />Hail and Hosanna, warm father God!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Old, aching God, grey with endless care,<br />Calmly piercing evil’s new disguises,<br />Glad of good surprises, wiser than despair:<br />Hail and Hosanna, old, aching God!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Young, growing God, eager, on the move,<br />Saying no to falsehood and unkindness,<br />Crying out for justice, giving all you have:<br />Hail and Hosanna, young, growing God!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Great, living God, never fully known,<br />Joyful darkness far beyond our seeing,<br />Closer yet than breathing, everlasting home:<br />Hail and Hosanna, great, living God!<o:p></o:p></span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></p>Sometimes Saintly Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16939152657551690867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12709723.post-32553552181874796782008-09-06T02:00:00.001-04:002008-09-06T08:17:14.768-04:00The Fine Art of Cat Napping<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">W</span></span>hile other bloggers are presenting exquisite photographs of their vacations, of neat places they have visited, of family celebration, of flowers, mountains, and the sea, I have been taking photographs of <a href="http://alexiconakittykatslifewithhishooman.blogspot.com/2008/09/guess-whatz-my-hoomin-doeded.html">Alex</a> sleeping.<br /><br />Below are a few that demonstrate the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Fine Art of Cat Napping</span>:<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHKfUnIKgI/AAAAAAAAEB0/QelB5NEA2uQ/s1600-h/IMG_0567_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHKfUnIKgI/AAAAAAAAEB0/QelB5NEA2uQ/s400/IMG_0567_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242694080693545474" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHKCp4D8BI/AAAAAAAAEBs/sX8veaUbUDo/s1600-h/Alex+Sleeping+0092_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHKCp4D8BI/AAAAAAAAEBs/sX8veaUbUDo/s400/Alex+Sleeping+0092_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242693588185509906" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHImvBG7zI/AAAAAAAAEBk/A2xFvMhvvfo/s1600-h/Alex+sleeping+2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHImvBG7zI/AAAAAAAAEBk/A2xFvMhvvfo/s400/Alex+sleeping+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242692009017667378" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHIc4pj0CI/AAAAAAAAEBc/TXctbkwkr1Q/s1600-h/IMG_0069+-+edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHIc4pj0CI/AAAAAAAAEBc/TXctbkwkr1Q/s400/IMG_0069+-+edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242691839804559394" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHIJVVpEAI/AAAAAAAAEBU/_jGK3sKapWk/s1600-h/Alex+chair+nap.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHIJVVpEAI/AAAAAAAAEBU/_jGK3sKapWk/s400/Alex+chair+nap.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242691503908261890" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHH3yuHeKI/AAAAAAAAEBM/_am_kE3uVd8/s1600-h/IMG_0142+-+edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHH3yuHeKI/AAAAAAAAEBM/_am_kE3uVd8/s400/IMG_0142+-+edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242691202557900962" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHHjPzGdAI/AAAAAAAAEBE/v9dmncuYeNM/s1600-h/IMG_0071+-+edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHHjPzGdAI/AAAAAAAAEBE/v9dmncuYeNM/s400/IMG_0071+-+edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242690849586181122" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHHSoEoLiI/AAAAAAAAEA8/LEVPyuyW7OU/s1600-h/IMG_0072+-+edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHHSoEoLiI/AAAAAAAAEA8/LEVPyuyW7OU/s400/IMG_0072+-+edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242690564044369442" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHHCeq6UlI/AAAAAAAAEA0/D9LjoDJfpqM/s1600-h/IMG_0190+-+edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHHCeq6UlI/AAAAAAAAEA0/D9LjoDJfpqM/s400/IMG_0190+-+edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242690286642680402" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHGfyfnWeI/AAAAAAAAEAs/PGgyYcjZLfQ/s1600-h/IMG_0054_2-edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHGfyfnWeI/AAAAAAAAEAs/PGgyYcjZLfQ/s400/IMG_0054_2-edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242689690668587490" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHGB7mKN_I/AAAAAAAAEAk/r8Aslz0uz1E/s1600-h/Alex+under+desk+NAP.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHGB7mKN_I/AAAAAAAAEAk/r8Aslz0uz1E/s400/Alex+under+desk+NAP.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242689177715881970" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHFrTf4cdI/AAAAAAAAEAc/rocwmL1kH-w/s1600-h/IMG_0135+-+edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHFrTf4cdI/AAAAAAAAEAc/rocwmL1kH-w/s400/IMG_0135+-+edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242688788995011026" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHFQo52j0I/AAAAAAAAEAU/UEXPokxZtyA/s1600-h/Cold+%26+Sleepy.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHFQo52j0I/AAAAAAAAEAU/UEXPokxZtyA/s400/Cold+%26+Sleepy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242688330884616002" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHE79qT0yI/AAAAAAAAEAM/x4Xn-Mv67iY/s1600-h/Catnip+Hangover.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHE79qT0yI/AAAAAAAAEAM/x4Xn-Mv67iY/s400/Catnip+Hangover.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242687975679316770" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHEa1xivMI/AAAAAAAAEAE/wfeXe22GP8g/s1600-h/IMG_0126+-edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHEa1xivMI/AAAAAAAAEAE/wfeXe22GP8g/s400/IMG_0126+-edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242687406626487490" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHD99mL_KI/AAAAAAAAD_8/-Qmf3vSSsx4/s1600-h/IMG_0087+-+edited_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHD99mL_KI/AAAAAAAAD_8/-Qmf3vSSsx4/s400/IMG_0087+-+edited_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242686910510136482" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHDfWLSPOI/AAAAAAAAD_0/EcvEDJa1ZS0/s1600-h/IMG_0251+-+edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHDfWLSPOI/AAAAAAAAD_0/EcvEDJa1ZS0/s400/IMG_0251+-+edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242686384532241634" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHDErZ0_4I/AAAAAAAAD_s/k66ObD1Ql8c/s1600-h/IMG_0590_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHDErZ0_4I/AAAAAAAAD_s/k66ObD1Ql8c/s400/IMG_0590_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242685926373916546" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHCoajPNHI/AAAAAAAAD_k/k0HWnDUkmrI/s1600-h/IMG_0598_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHCoajPNHI/AAAAAAAAD_k/k0HWnDUkmrI/s400/IMG_0598_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242685440813642866" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHCSi375zI/AAAAAAAAD_c/3Xr6WCt4Q1s/s1600-h/IMG_0599_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHCSi375zI/AAAAAAAAD_c/3Xr6WCt4Q1s/s400/IMG_0599_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242685065090819890" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHB8J-J6ZI/AAAAAAAAD_U/Oy2QqU7Olvg/s1600-h/IMG_0601_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHB8J-J6ZI/AAAAAAAAD_U/Oy2QqU7Olvg/s400/IMG_0601_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242684680448895378" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHBhdY8bQI/AAAAAAAAD_M/e04Cnkklgo0/s1600-h/Sleeping+with+Alex++02+-+edited.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHBhdY8bQI/AAAAAAAAD_M/e04Cnkklgo0/s400/Sleeping+with+Alex++02+-+edited.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242684221805063426" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHBFMjRcHI/AAAAAAAAD_E/1XzLqfNrIro/s1600-h/IMG_0595_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMHBFMjRcHI/AAAAAAAAD_E/1XzLqfNrIro/s400/IMG_0595_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242683736248643698" border="0" /></a>Sometimes Saintly Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16939152657551690867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12709723.post-85611288140298258202008-09-05T00:01:00.005-04:002008-09-05T01:49:10.344-04:00An Explanation<p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 102, 102);">Y</span></span>esterday I received an email from a friend who is also a blogger asking me why I haven’t been visiting her blog as much as in the past. I sent her an answer and later realized that other bloggers may be asking the same question. Please allow me to explain:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;">My health is deteriorating. It’s not that I am on my last legs or anything like that, but I do lack the energy I had just a few months ago. Therefore, I don't read as many blogs each day as I once did. I<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>am often lucky to be awake long enough to able to post on my blogs.</span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;">For example, yesterday I awoke at 7:30 a.m. and by 10:00 a.m. needed to nap. I napped until about noon and by 2:30 p.m. I was down for another nap until about 4:30 or so. Again, around 7:00 p.m., I was again asleep and napped until about 10:15. I was exhausted again and retired a bit before midnight.</span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">W</span>ith more than 160 blogs on my blog roll—which is, I might add, again back on the sidebar of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Nick’s Bytes</i>—it now takes me as long as two or three weeks to visit all of the blogs.</span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;">So, if you don’t see me commenting on your blog, it is because I lack the time and energy to get to every blog that I truly want to read. If there happens to be something special that you want me to see or comment upon, give me a holler—email—and I’ll be over to visit.</span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Verdana;">Below are a couple of photographs that I snapped of Alex when I inadvertently awakened him from one of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">his</i> naps yesterday. From the last several photos I have posted of him, you may have noticed that the furball has now appropriated my desk as well as my kitchen table.</span><br /></p><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMCmRmB97VI/AAAAAAAAD-8/diKGNWS8cDo/s1600-h/IMG_0595_edited-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMCmRmB97VI/AAAAAAAAD-8/diKGNWS8cDo/s400/IMG_0595_edited-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242372787456044370" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMCmENbRoKI/AAAAAAAAD-0/HPZ_RhKy0rc/s1600-h/IMG_0597.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SMCmENbRoKI/AAAAAAAAD-0/HPZ_RhKy0rc/s400/IMG_0597.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242372557513007266" /></a>Sometimes Saintly Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16939152657551690867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12709723.post-81475867254633989822008-09-04T00:01:00.001-04:002008-09-04T08:37:11.279-04:00The Shower Curtain<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">S</span></span></span>he walked into the kitchen where I was cleaning up after dinner and said, “I want this.” Actually, it was more like a command than a request or a statement. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I turned from the sink and looked at what she was holding. It was the new shower curtain that I had recently purchased, still enclosed in its clear plastic case. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">“You live in a hotel,” I replied. “What would you do with a shower curtain?”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p>“I’m gonna cut it up and make it into a dress,” she said.</o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">“That’s absurd,” I said. “That cloth is too heavy for a dress. Besides, I just bought that and…”</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">“But you ain’t using it now and I want it!”</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">“I am going to put it up. Soon. So you can’t have it.”</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">“Well, can I have your coffee maker then?”</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">Do you get the drift?</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">Every time <i style="">she</i> came to my house—no, every time I was in contact with her anywhere—she <i style="">wanted</i> something.</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">Once she “borrowed” my expensive (to me) Bose radio because “I ain’t got no music to listen to in my room.” When I asked for it back, I learned that her boyfriend had pawned it. (Luckily I was able to retrieve it after paying $70.00 to the pawn broker).</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">Another time she left my house with my nicest chess set in her backpack. By the time I had realized that it was gone, she had lost four of its pieces.</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">I could go on, but the memories actually hurt.</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"> </span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I had tried to help her when she was down and out and stranded in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Louisville</st1:place></st1:city>. She had been introduced to me by an ex-parishioner who, I later learned, was fed-up with her “I wants.” <span style=""> </span>I assisted her in returning to her <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pennsylvania</st1:place></st1:state> home and thought I had done a <i style="">mitzvah</i>—a good deed. Within three months she was back in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Louisville</st1:place></st1:city>—and in need.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">In that manner she bounced in and out of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Louisville</st1:place></st1:city>—and my life—for two years. And each time she contacted me her situation was… desperate.</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">Eventually even an old helper-dude like me learned and I would say <b style="">no</b> to her demands and not back down. Eventually I learned what it means to befriend a manipulative drug addict. It’s a relationship with lots of pain and few, if any, rewards.</span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;">The last time I heard from her was about 15 months ago. She telephoned—collect—from a jail in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Arizona</st1:place></st1:state>.<span style=""> </span>I did not accept the charges.</span><br /></p><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL83S-JInGI/AAAAAAAAD-s/h7WAnuppcHw/s1600-h/IMG_0594_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL83S-JInGI/AAAAAAAAD-s/h7WAnuppcHw/s400/IMG_0594_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241969290341031010" border="0" /></a><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The shower curtain she wanted now hangs in my bathroom.</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">FYI</span></b><span style="font-family:Verdana;">: <a href="http://alexiconakittykatslifewithhishooman.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-iz-nappinz-lotz.html">Alex</a> is still taking his meds OK, napping a lot, and spending his awake time wherever I am. I snapped this photo of him at 9:09 p.m. this evening:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL817quvjhI/AAAAAAAAD-k/3PG7BpviBCs/s1600-h/IMG_0591_edited-1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL817quvjhI/AAAAAAAAD-k/3PG7BpviBCs/s400/IMG_0591_edited-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241967790481444370" border="0" /></a>Sometimes Saintly Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16939152657551690867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12709723.post-60895133079020714282008-09-03T00:45:00.000-04:002008-09-03T00:47:52.192-04:00Wednesday Coffeehouse: Theolonious Monk & Lenny Bruce<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL4WjYTLZ1I/AAAAAAAAD-c/OHw1wAYvLSA/s1600-h/Monk+%26+Bruce.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL4WjYTLZ1I/AAAAAAAAD-c/OHw1wAYvLSA/s400/Monk+%26+Bruce.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241651813379958610" border="0" /></a>
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL4WV03zKzI/AAAAAAAAD-U/ZGvNH-my7Ps/s1600-h/beatnik+smoking.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL4WV03zKzI/AAAAAAAAD-U/ZGvNH-my7Ps/s200/beatnik+smoking.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241651580531583794" border="0" /></a>
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<br /></span><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Welcome to the coffeehouse! Today we feature jazz pianist, <b style=""><a href="http://www.howardm.net/tsmonk/tsmonk.php">Theolonious Sphere Monk</a></b>, and the foremost comedian of the Beat Generation, <b style=""><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenny_Bruce">Lenny Bruce</a></b>.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceName"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="PlaceType"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><a href="http://www.monkzone.com/biographyHTML.htm">
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<br /></a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><a href="http://www.monkzone.com/biographyHTML.htm">Robin D. G. Kelley</a>, Professor of Anthropology, African<b> </b></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;">American Studies, and Jazz Studies at <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Columbia</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">University</st1:placetype></st1:place>, says of Theo Monk:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><blockquote><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL4TzYCkiCI/AAAAAAAAD-E/h7q9jYoeEEo/s1600-h/Monk+001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL4TzYCkiCI/AAAAAAAAD-E/h7q9jYoeEEo/s200/Monk+001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241648789653325858" border="0" /></a>Today Thelonious Monk is widely accepted as a genuine master of American music. His compositions constitute the core of jazz repertory and are performed by artists from many different genres. He is the subject of award winning documentaries, biographies and scholarly studies, prime time television tributes, and he even has an Institute created in his name. <span style="color:blue;"><a href="http://www.monkinstitute.org/" target="_blank">The Thelonious Monk Institute of Jazz</a></span> was created to promote jazz education and to train and encourage new generations of musicians. It is a fitting tribute to an artist who was always willing to share his musical knowledge with others but expected originality in return.</blockquote><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Lenny Bruce, like Theolonious Monk, was a trendsetter. He brought onto the </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL4TNR4u74I/AAAAAAAAD98/ZpanczYfhCA/s1600-h/Lenny+Bruce+001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL4TNR4u74I/AAAAAAAAD98/ZpanczYfhCA/s200/Lenny+Bruce+001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241648135166422914" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:Verdana;">stage a kind of humor that not been shared </span><span style="font-family:Verdana;">in public since before the Victorian age. <a href="http://www.jerryjazzmusician.com/mainHTML.cfm?page=skover.html">David Skover</a> writes:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span></p><blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Lenny Bruce's words had the power to provoke laughter and debate—as well as shock and outrage. It was the force of his voice that would place him on the wrong side of the law in <st1:city st="on">San Francisco</st1:city>, <st1:city st="on">Los Angeles</st1:city>, <st1:city st="on">Chicago</st1:city> and <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">New York</st1:state></st1:place>… <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Lenny committed his life to telling the truth. But the truth he told infuriated those in power, and authorities in the largest, most progressive cities in the country worked effortlessy to put him in jail. To them, Lenny's words were filthy and depraved. But to his friends—the hip, the discontented, the fringe—his words were not only sharp and hilarious, they were a light in the dark to the repressed society of the early 1960's. </span></p></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Please don’t be concerned about Lenny’s poem below, </span><i style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Psycopathia Sexualis</span></i><span style="font-family:Verdana;">; it is very tame.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span>
<br /></p><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span>We begin with a jazz set featuring </span></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span>Theolonious Monk.</span></span> So grab a cuppa joe and jive to the beat.
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<br />Theolonious Monk</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">April in Paris</span></span>
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<br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Theolonious Monk</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">Introspection </span></span>
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<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Before Monk’s second set, allow me to introduce the foremost comedian of the Beat Generation, Mr. Lenny Bruce.<o:p></o:p></span></p><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">
<br />Lenny Bruce</span>:<span style="font-style: italic;"> Psycopathia Sexualis</span></span>
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<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">And now, back to the magic fingers of Theo Monk.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:verdana;" >Theolonious Monk</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;font-family:verdana;" >Round Midnight</span>
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<br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Theolonious Monk</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">Theolonious</span></span>
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<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {color:blue; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {color:purple; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 153, 153);font-size:130%;" >Previous Coffeehouses featuring</span><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><a href="http://saintnicksbytes.blogspot.com/2008/06/something-different-wednesday.html">Leonard Cohen</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><a href="http://saintnicksbytes.blogspot.com/2008/07/wednesday-coffee-house.html">Bob Gibson & Bob Camp</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><a href="http://saintnicksbytes.blogspot.com/2008/07/wednesday-coffee-house-kingston-trio.html">The Kingston Trio</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><a href="http://saintnicksbytes.blogspot.com/2008/07/wednesday-coffee-house-beatniks-poetry.html">Carmen McRae, Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, Steve Allen, Dave Brubeck, Del Close & John Brent</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><a href="http://saintnicksbytes.blogspot.com/2008/08/wednesday-coffeehouse-judy-collins-arlo.html">Judy Collins & Arlo Guthrie</a><o:p></o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p style="text-align: center;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><a href="http://saintnicksbytes.blogspot.com/2008/08/wednesday-coffeehouse-simon-and.html">Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel</a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL3bb7BXhUI/AAAAAAAAD9s/3EdHsoUcuxE/s1600-h/coffeehouse+4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SL3bb7BXhUI/AAAAAAAAD9s/3EdHsoUcuxE/s320/coffeehouse+4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5241586814075503938" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <div style="border: 1pt solid rgb(0, 204, 255); padding: 1pt 4pt;"><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="border: medium none ; padding: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:Arial;">In case anyone is interested, all of the audios I post are from my own CDs.</span><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> </div> Sometimes Saintly Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16939152657551690867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12709723.post-5506961692334195282008-09-01T00:01:00.003-04:002008-09-01T00:32:38.303-04:00Too Bad It's Monday Jokes<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SLrZQcS4-sI/AAAAAAAAD9c/Z1AqdXpwqtw/s1600-h/No+Garfield.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SLrZQcS4-sI/AAAAAAAAD9c/Z1AqdXpwqtw/s400/No+Garfield.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240739992895552194" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-family:Verdana;" >I</span></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;">n the spring of 2005, shortly after I began blogging, I began posting the jokes I had received in my previous week’s email under the title <b style="">Too Bad It’s Monday</b> (T.B.I.M.) as the reverse of T.G.I.F. (<b style=""><i style="">Thank God It’s Friday</i></b>). So again I am going to share with you what I consider to be the best of the humor I have received in the past week. You may not agree with all of my choices, but if even one joke brings you a smile on T.B.I.M., my goal has been achieved. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SLrX1TLHn-I/AAAAAAAAD9U/RgbEkl6_kbI/s1600-h/KFC%2Bwitness%2Bprotection%2Bprogram.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SLrX1TLHn-I/AAAAAAAAD9U/RgbEkl6_kbI/s400/KFC%2Bwitness%2Bprotection%2Bprogram.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240738427078942690" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);font-size:180%;" ><b style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">D</span></b></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;">id you hear about the 83 year old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;"><b><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 102);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br /></span></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:130%;"><b><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 102);font-family:Verdana;" >cat haikus </span></b></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 102);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 102);font-family:Verdana;font-size:10;" ><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;font-size:10;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >You never feed me.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />That will sure show you.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >You must scratch me there!</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Yes, above my tail!</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Behold, elevator butt.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >The rule for today:</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Touch my tail, I shred your hand.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />New rule tomorrow.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >In deep sleep hear sound</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />cat vomit hairball somewhere</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />will find in morning.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >Grace personified.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />I leap into the window.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />I meant to do that.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >Blur of motion, then --</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />silence, me, a paper bag.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />What is so funny?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >The mighty hunter</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Returns with gifts of plump birds --</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />your foot just squashed one.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >You're always typing.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Well, let's see you ignore my</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />sitting on your hands.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >My small cardboard box.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />You cannot see me if I</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />can just hide my head.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >Terrible battle.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />I fought for hours. Come and see!</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />What's a 'term paper?'</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >Small brave carnivores</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Fear vacuum cleaner</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >I want to be close</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />to you. Can I fit my head</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />inside your armpit?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >Wanna go outside.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Oh, poop! Help! I got outside!</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Let me back inside!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >Oh no! Big One</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />has been trapped by newspaper!</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />Cat to the rescue!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >Humans are so strange.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >Mine lies still in bed, then screams;</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >
<br />My claws are not that sharp.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<br />
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SLqGMEVW_4I/AAAAAAAAD9M/8LoP5NO2HAc/s1600-h/u+ar+stoned.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SLqGMEVW_4I/AAAAAAAAD9M/8LoP5NO2HAc/s400/u+ar+stoned.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240648658278875010" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; 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charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; 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charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="country-region"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; panose-1:2 11 6 4 3 5 4 4 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:536871559 0 0 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);font-size:180%;" ><b style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">W</span></b></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;">hen I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.
<br />
<br />I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.
<br />
<br />I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.
<br />
<br />I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, "Praise the Lord," "Amen," and "Glory!" I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.
<br />
<br />When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, "I never saw anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for twenty years."<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" ><b style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">
<br /></span></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" ><b style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">T</span></b></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;">he elderly Sioux chief sat in his reservation house, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the two <st1:place st="on"><st1:country-region st="on">U.S.</st1:country-region></st1:place> government officials sent to interview him.
<br />
<br />"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress, and all his problems."
<br />
<br />The chief nodded. The official continued, "Considering recent events in the <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">United States</st1:place></st1:country-region>, in your opinion, where has the white man gone wrong?"
<br />
<br />The chief stared at the government officials and continued smoking his pipe for over a minute, and then calmly replied: "When white man found this land, Indians were running it. No taxes. No debt. No house payments. No Daycare. Plenty buffalo. Women did all the cooking. Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time."
<br />
<br />The chief smiled, and added quietly, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve a system like that.”<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);font-size:180%;" ><b style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">
<br /></span></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);font-size:180%;" ><b style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">A</span></b></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 0);font-size:180%;" > </span>duck hunter needed a new bird dog, so he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve the duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
<br />
<br />He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a true pessimist and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.
<br />
<br />The friend saw everything but didn't say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything funny about my new dog?"
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;">"I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim!"<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 102);font-size:180%;" >
<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 102);font-size:180%;" >How to Tell Mother’s Favorite:</span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SLqD1MXR_FI/AAAAAAAAD9E/NwJo_TKTeoo/s1600-h/How+to+tell+mother+favorite.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fPo-m6G36C8/SLqD1MXR_FI/AAAAAAAAD9E/NwJo_TKTeoo/s400/How+to+tell+mother+favorite.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5240646066274171986" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CTemple%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Verdana; 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Trying to remember his best pick-up line, he says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);font-size:180%;" ><b style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">
<br /></span></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 0);font-size:180%;" ><b style=""><span style="font-family:Verdana;">A</span></b></span><span style=";font-family:Verdana;color:black;" > SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
<br />
<br />'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
<br />'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
<br />
<br />So, a student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;color:black;" >
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=";font-family:Verdana;color:black;" >Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
<br />
<br />The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computad