Blog de Phil

Random Rant: The Swimming Pool Chin Up

2009-11-04T11:46:00.003-05:00

...just wondering what goes through someone's mind, when they do chin-ups in the water using the backstroke handles on the diving block. Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's like no resistance.

Getting my aquatic mojo on

2009-10-28T09:11:00.003-04:00

Hammerhead Sharks ~ tres cool

Triathlon mojo has been fading big time for me for a while now. Until last week, I hadn't swum since closing the river in September. My last pool swim would have been in May. I've been having swim envy for a couple of weeks as Guylaine has joined the masters. Time for action.

Last Tuesday, I re-instated monster swim night. 3000 meters+. It was awesome. Strangely, I felt great. I followed it up again last night. Again... I felt great. Maybe I'll get back on my bike again soon?

The swims

Last Week:
400m warm up
3 x(100 Pull + 50 Kick)
2 x 200 @Med Pace
3 x 100 IM
50 Easy
4 x 100 (Fr-Bk-Fr-Bk)
50 Easy
4 x 100 (Ez-Md-Ez-Hd)
50 Eesy
6 x25 sprints on :30
350 Cool Down

Last Night:
400 W/U
100 Pull, 100 Kick, 100 Pull, 100 Kick, 100 Pull
100 Easy
4 x 25 on 0:30
100 Easy
4 x 50 on 1:00
100 Easy
4 x 75 on 1:30
200 Easy
4 x 100 on 2:00
200 Easy
2 x 100 IM
200 C/D

Too much to blog about...

2009-10-13T08:55:00.002-04:00

Held the Olympic torch. Baked some brownies. Did 'Hash House Harriers' Run. Watched Ironman Hawaii* with the Multisport club. Cheered local Ironman Dan Contant. Ended with some Turkey last night.

* I'm pretty sure, the main storyline for this year was Chrissie -- not just if she would win again, but by how big a margin, how much would she break the record by and how many pro-men would she 'chick'.

Giant Water Bug

2009-10-05T19:11:00.004-04:00

Our Giant Water Bug

Imagine my surprise on Sunday, when I was cleaning leaves out of the pool... and this one started to swim. It's a giant water bug, and it's a freaky SOB. A google image search will pull up some nasty pics of them. Here's a nice heart warming story about Sam and her pet Giant Water Bug -- our bug enjoyed a much less warm welcome to the family and was sent packing down the storm drain. Apparently they bite - and leave a nasty sting.

Race Report: Glengarry Cancer Run 10K

2009-10-03T18:40:00.004-04:00

Two years ago, I set a "pie-in-the-sky" goal of 45 minutes for a 10K. I never really trained for it, and I never really achieved it.

This year, I opened the "season" with back-to-back 10K Races. One, the MS Run, in lousy conditions and the next in Brockville, under better conditions. Truth is, I wasn't really "healed" from my bad foot, and wasn't anywhere in shape - although they were both pleasant experiences.

At the Cornwall Triathlon, I completely bonked on the last 5K of the 10K run, and since then, I had pretty much given up on training.

We had planned to do the Glengarry Run, if nothing else than to support a good local race, and a good cause. But it wasn't until this morning that I decided to go for the 10K. Partly out of some morbid curiosity to see how out-of-shape I really was after a good two months of personally stimulating the economies of the beer-producers of both North America and Europe.

I let it slip out in pre-race chatter that I'd like to go for 45 minutes. (What the heck was I thinking?) Deep down inside, I hoped for at least sub 50. We lined up and I seeded relatively far back; and then, we were off.

As usual, I took off with some kind of unreserved fury. I caught myself after 100 meters, and tried to "settle-in". The sub-40 guys were out far enough. I hit the 500 meter mark at 2:02 and I thought, "uh-oh". 1K was 4:06, and so I said to myself... "well, we've got a bit of time in the bank if we are going sub-45 today" (4:30 splits would give me the magical 45 minute time).

But then, things started to get hard. And I was breathing like a rabid dog. 2K came at 4:28. This was nuts, I couldn't keep that up. 2.5K and the turn around appeared for the '5': it was all I could do to not turn around and declare myself a 5K participant.

3K, 4K... things were on track. In fact, the race course was marked out in 500 meter increments, and every 500 meters was showing me that I was on target... and I still had some time in the bank. There was NO way I could keep this up though. I told myself to hold it until the turnaround; I'd toast myself for a fast 5K, and then jog it home. Somehow, my legs had another agenda...

6K and still on track. 6.5K and the wheels fell off! "Aha!" I knew it. "I'll just coast home from here". But darn it, if the heavy breathing of a fellow competitor behind me didn't keep me going. I was able to do something I'm never able to do - I found a small fibre of mental strength, and held on. 7K - Rik catches me. 7.5K and my splits are back on target. I was starting to get excited - 45 was a possibility.

9K at 40:23. I was dead tired, but still able to compute that a 5 minute last kilometer would give me 45:something. 9.5K and I was still on target for sub-45. I poured it on. I could see the clock. I was 20 meters away. 44:40 - no problem, I slowed down. I'll coast into the finish line with time to spare... but then somehow the seconds started going by FASTER than usual (so it seemed). At 7 meters to go, I had to sprint for it..... BEEP... I stopped my watch just shy of 45 minutes. Official gun time... 44:59.6.

Can I get a Hallelujah!

I even got a medal for 2nd in my age group.

Les Splits

All in all, a great day for the Barnes family. Andrew first boy in the 1K (5:05). Laura 3rd girl and 5th overall in the 1K (5:45). Guylaine a PB of 53:39 - for 2nd female overall - and a tough lesson on Chip time vs Gun Time. Lots of good times and medals for the CMC family too.

Is it still technically trail running if the trail is under 10 feet of water?

2009-10-02T11:04:00.009-04:00

Who's the Weenie with the Floaties

A.K.A. Race Report: Waterfront Festival Preview Run
It was a cold fall evening. The ambulances and paramedics were on high alert. 17 or so crazy mofos lined up for a preview run of the 2010 Waterfront Festival Cross Country Race. In my infinite wisdom, I misread the invitation - I honestly thought, we'd be running through the odd creek or puddle. And that there was one deep crossing of 2.5 feet.

There was in fact one crossing of 2.5 feet deep. Well, 3 feet more accurately. The rest were, MUCH deeper. I was in over my head... LITERALLY.

There was an "out" though. If you didn't want to do the water crossings, you could run around them. This option would keep you dry, but would add an extra 1.5K to your distance. The pre-race chatter went something like this... "I'm not doin it-- are you doin it?" ... "I'll do it if you do it." ... "You guys are nuts!" As a gag, I had shown up wearing fluorescent orange water-wings, "What the hell! I'll do it."

We were off.

The pace was slow and relaxed. The anticipation built. Finally, we were at the first crossing: Rik dove in without hesitation. Michelle paused and then poof she was in. I stood there 99% ready to run the extra distance - but then somehow, I mustered the courage and before I knew it, I was in the water.

OH MY GOD It was FREEZING. So cold, it took my breath away. After what seemed like an eternity, I was on the other side. Soaking and freezing. Well, let's keep running! My thighs burned with the coldness - but the whole time I couldn't stop smiling. We must have looked a real crazy bunch to the rest of the people bundled up in fall jackets walking through the park that night.

The finish line couldn't have come any sooner. A personal victory maybe... Speedster Liam (having taken the longer but dry route) was running the hill to the finish, maybe I could edge him out. A final sprint... But the kid got me in the end. Argh!

Definitely a crazy experience. But certainly an experience to remember!

The first crossing. 120 feet. Yellow = Short, but VERY cold and VERY wet. Red = Long, but DRY!

Number two. 80 feet.

Number three. A measly 14 feet.

And finally, 150 feet.

Final time: 28:16. 4th overall! (out of not very many).

x2

2009-09-28T12:41:00.002-04:00

I may be finding a new passion: Cross Country. The trails at work are getting soggy and muddy. I had my first wipe-out today (and sprained my finger!). I'm lovin' it. I've been hiding a heel/ankle injury/"strange sensation" for 6 weeks now, but it doesn't seem to bother me on the trails.

X-country

2009-09-16T12:34:00.005-04:00

I had a nice cross-country run today. About 5K on the trails around the office. What a rush. My calfs are complaining right now, but I think I am going to make this a regular routine.

It's been dry lately, so the trail was pretty firm. I'm actually kind of looking forward to some mud though. Road running is so 2008.

No. Not me.

Race Report: Montreal Oasis 5K

2009-09-15T18:44:00.003-04:00

CMC Labour Day chase was the dress rehearsal for Andrew. Montreal was the The Big Dance. 5K in the streets of Montreal, ending inside the Big-O. Over 13,000 competitors in races from 1K to Marathon. 1800 alone in the 5K.

We had gone up to Montreal the night before and stayed at France's parents' house. We were 4 families. 8 adults, 8 kids: all racing.

Pre-race, Andrew was cool as a cucumber. I was nervous. I had to pee. 1800 other people had too pee too (it seemed). We jumped form one porta-potty line to another. "5-4-3-2-1-Go!" - we were finally inside, when the race started. "Don't worry, we'll be fine". And we were. We emerged just on time to join the slow-moving-starting grid about a minute behind the start. We approached the timing mat. "Beep" and we were off.

The first kilometer is uphill (aparently), but it didn't seem to phase us. We did just fine, getting our groove on. Andrew was weaving and bobbing through the traffic. Anytime someone passed him, he'd surge and re-pass. I started telling him not to worry about it. It wasn't having any effect, so I figured I'd let him do his thing. "Don't worry about me" I said, "I'll always be behind you. You do what you want to do."

"Dad, there's so many people in front of us" he said. "Turn around and take a look" I replied. There were hundreds of people behind us. "You're way in front of all those people!". I think the magnitude of that really hit him. "Cool!"

Our goal for the race was to beat last week's time (of 29:19). I wasn't too sure if that was possible. But I tried to keep him on pace. It was obvious he was running on heart from about 3.8 k on. That's when he saw the 4K banner and thought it was the finish line. "1 more K to go" I said. His response was heart-breaking, but he soldiered on. "OK, I can do this" he said.

We hit the downward slope to the Big-O. "Run down it, don't worry, you won't fall!" He took off, we passed about 30 people on the finish stretch. And then finally our faces on the big screen. The finish line.

We did it! I stopped my watch and couldn't believe it -- 28:30! Andrew smoked his PB by 49 seconds.

I missed the 2K split - but we kept on pace - you can see where he put the jets on for the grand finale

From SportStats (Funny thing is that they didn't have a category for anything under 18.):

Place	Name	City	Bib	Gun	Chip	Pace	Category	Division	Gender
770	ANDREW BARNES	Cornwall	13726	29:31.4	28:29.2	5:55	M18-24	296/410	512/852
771	PHIL BARNES	Cornwall	13725	29:31.7	28:30.4	5:55	M35-39	43/79	513/852

Andrew thought it was pretty cool that he was on Youtube

All in all, it was a great race day for everyone. Lot's of PB's: Laura for the 1K (beating 695 boys and 707 other girls) and Guylaine in the 10K (top 16% in her category).

And of course, Cupajoe going way-sub 40 on 10K DESPITE having extra cake the night before.

Garmin Geek, Junior

2009-09-09T21:18:00.003-04:00

Andrew ran 5 laps at the school track with the Garmin today. Chip of the ol' block!

CMC Labour Day Chase - 5K - Race Report

2009-09-08T09:16:00.004-04:00

I have officially lost my mojo for the year. The last ounce oozed out of me on the finish line at the Cornwall Tri. Maybe I shouldn't have shaved my legs -- Samson's hair(?). It doesn't matter - the last few weeks have been some of the most pleasurable in my "racing career". Last Monday, I helped Andrew through the 1-10-2 club duathlon; and on Monday, we set a PB together. His first attempt at 5K. He finished! He shattered 30 minutes.

The Labour Day chase, was a follow-up to the Victoria Day Chase. That day, I channeled, Phil the Thrill, and ran a (good-for-the-start-of-season-considering-I-was-in-hospital-2-months-earlier) 22:38. Although, I let down a legion of fans (maybe that's stretching it), Phil the Thrill was left at home yesterday. My goal for this race was helping Andrew.

In reality, he didn't need help. He did it on his own. But, it was awesome to be with him along the way. We all lined up at 9:30, and I left him with the M14 and under corral. My start time was about 90 seconds after his. My plan was to catch him in the first K-or so, and then run the rest with him. In the pre-race chatter, I missed watching his start - the deal was that he was going to take it easy! But I'm sure he took off like a bat out of hell. Shortly after, my group started. In the distance, I could only just make out Andrew's shorts and shirt. He was way out there. I got the first kilometer marker at 4 minutes on the dot, Andrew was still way ahead. Finally, I reeled him in at about 1.5K, and slowed from 4 minute pace to 5:20-ish, "How ya doin?"

"Good" was the reply. He was doing great. We ran the rest of the race together. We walked a few times - but he was determined to not walk too much. After 4K, I noticed the time, and figured he had a good chance at going under 30 minutes.

"Dude" (Sometimes I call him that), "I know it's hard-- but if we pick it up a bit, and don't walk anymore, you can definitely go under 30 minutes"

"Really?" (I'm sure he had no idea what that really meant, but he probably inferred from my tone, that it was a good thing.)

We picked it up a bit. Coming along the back 300 meters, various finishers had walked back, and were cheering us on. Andrew was seriously getting his groove on. Guylaine met us at about 150 meters, she looked surprised that we had made it so quickly. And then, he spotted his target. A woman about 20 meters in front of him. The sole object between himself and the finish line. "Poof" he was off like a child possessed. I honestly couldn't keep up with him. She edged him at the line by a second. But whoa. What a race. 29:19 for the little guy.

Andrew surges for the finish line. Leaving me in his dust, and taking 5 seconds on me in the last 20 meters.

Dude, you just got "Whitlocked"

2009-08-26T13:22:00.003-04:00

78 Year old, Ed Whitlock out-sprints me again. Why do I get the feeling, I'm never going to live this down.

Cornwall Hospital Triathlon - 2009 Race Report

2009-08-24T11:57:00.004-04:00

Prologue
7 PM, Saturday evening. I sat on the edge of the bathtub, lathering up my legs. I've always had this curiosity about shaved legs but never had the nerve to try it. A couple days ago, I said, "what the heck", if I couldn't be fast on the course, at least I could look fast. I had picked up a 5-pack of twin-blade pink daisy razors earlier in the day. I was only planning on buying one, but a five-pack was the smallest they had. All lathered up, I carefully removed the plastic protective cover from the blade, admired the razor sharpness, shook my head in narcissistic shame, took a deep breath and made the first downward stroke through my 37-year old hair pants…. Nothing.

In my mind's eye, I had imagined the resulting fresh, clean, inch-and-a-half wide lovely strip of smooth baldness. But, that wasn't the case. The razor's head was clogged after a scant millimeter's travel down the leg. I was still optimistic, though, and washed it off, and continued with pass number two. Same deal. Pass three… not making too much progress. Passes four through twelve… hmmn, what's the trick here? By this time, I had only managed to clear a somewhat ragged patch about two inches long. This was going to take a while.

After pass twenty or so, I was getting so frustrated; I washed off all the lather, and took out my electric shaver. Hehehe, now we're making progress. I'll do a "Bulk" removal, and then come back with the razor to clean up! (Why hadn't I thought of this earlier).

7:20 PM, Saturday evening, I sat on the edge of the bathtub, with a pair of completely hacked up hair-pants. There was no turning back from here. I re-lathered and opened fresh blade #2. I was glad that I had gotten the 5-pack after all. My new plan was to use two blades per leg, and keep the last one for final grooming.

7:25 PM, it was going much better. I had set up some ground rules: 1. Always use a downward stroke, and 2. Not too hasty.

7:27 PM, I had wrapped up my right leg and was working on my left. I was a pro now, but it was getting to my head. I started shaving too quickly. And then, "ZING", that feeling you get when you cut yourself. I looked at the spot, and nothing, but then, slowly, the blood started oozing. And man, did IT sting!!! I persevered and pushed on.

7:32 PM, the moment I was dreading (so far, I had been doing this uninterrupted in secrecy), but then, the call from Guylaine from downstairs - "WHAT are you doing up there??? Are you coming down to help?" (with the dishes).

"UH, sure, I'll be right down". I figured I had between five and six minutes before she'd lose her patience and break up my extreme makeover. In a panic, I committed a cardinal sin, and started going against the grain - I was a desperate man.

7:38 PM, I unwrapped my silver bullet. Blade number 5: Final pass. I had done a good job budgeting the previous four blades.

7:40 PM, FINISHED! Oh, my god. The bathtub was a complete horror scene. I was thinking of taking a picture, but didn't want ever to be reminded again of the sight. There was enough "material" for me to open up my own Hair Club for Men franchise.

The final result - nice and smooth if I run my hands down, but not so much if I run my hands up, kind of like a 100-grit sandpaper. I could live with that. Smiling, I once again shook my head in shame. I was now ready for some serious competition!

Race
Swim - OK, although I felt slower than usual. T1 - enjoyed getting wetsuit stripped. Bike - Not bad, probably as fast as I could have gone. I did drop my bottle and stopped to get it. T2 - Felt good, lots of cheers. Run - OH NO - totally died. First 2K was 4:45 pace, but then the wheels fell off. I had that conversation with myself: "Come on man, don't give up! Let's go for it?" … "Ahhh…. Nah, next year."

Epilogue
The 2009 Cornwall Hospital Triathlon Weekend was absolutely fantastic. The Kids races on Saturday were an absolute blast , and the Sunday event was top-notch, definitely a best-of-class event.

Final Results
48/65 Overall, 18/20 M30-39 (ouch), final time 2:45:08. 1500m swim + T1 34:17 (2:18/100m); 40K Bike 1:16:31 (31.4 km/hr avg.); T2+10K run 54:21 (5:27 pace).

Official Results - Official Photos

Ed Whitlock - I want a rematch!

2009-08-19T19:22:00.006-04:00

a.k.a The Great Raisin River Foot Race

The finish stretch --
my elbow, followed closely by 78 y.o. Ed Whitlock

I made the swinging right hand turn past the long-horn cow and the goat pen and down the final gravel stretch. I could see the finish banner and the clock which appeared paused in time (it literally was due to a technical glitch).

"Here he comes Ladies and Gentlemen!" boomed the PA announcer. I reveled in the moment.

"Let's give a big round of applause for the fastest man in the world, in his age category!"

"Huh?" I turned my head slightly and there he was, the silver fox, 78 year old Ed Whitlock: riding my coat-tails.

The meters clicked off, while I held tense negotiations in my head. We were neck and neck, and the finish line was almost upon us.

Option 1: Sprint the last bit, and go down in history as the dooch that out-sprinted Ed Whitlock in a 5K.

Option 2: Ease up and give him the finish line all to himself, and go down in history as the dooch that got beat by Ed Whitlock in a 5K.

But then panic set in, what happens if *he* sprints for it, and I was forced to react.. I had nothing left in the tank, and he'd end up beating me fair and square.

So, in a moment that will live in infamy... or at least as long as SportStats is keeping records, I eased up. He glanced over at me, his smirk said it all, "You dooch!"

Beeeep - I crossed the line in 29th place. 0.7 seconds behind a man twice my age. I guess Ed can add that to his resume-- fastest man in the world for his age group... check; 2:54 marathon at age 74... check; beat Phil Barnes in a 5K... check.

The final stats:

Official Results:
Sportstats Results
21:54.3 Final Time. 29/221 OA, 7/21 M30-39, 26/109 Men, 1/1 Dooch Bags.

Twitter - let the cyber-bullying begin

2009-07-28T16:18:00.002-04:00

Contador is interviewed, and then the shots get fired:

http://twitter.com/lancearmstrong

Seeing these comments from AC. If I were him I'd drop this drivel and start thanking his team. w/o them, he doesn't win. about 22 hours ago from web

- and -

hey pistolero, there is no "i" in "team". what did i say in March? Lots to learn. Restated.about 22 hours ago from web

Axel Merckx (can I get a job next year at Radio Shack chimes in...)
http://twitter.com/axelmerckx

A champion is also measured on how much he respect his teammates and opponents. You can win a race on your own not a grand tour.about 22 hours ago from web

Johan pipes up
http://twitter.com/johanbruyneel

Sometimes it is better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt!

Paul Sheren adds
http://twitter.com/PaulSherwen

African Proverb: what about this one from Sierra Leone: Do not tell the man who is carrying you that he stinksabout 12 hours ago from web

-but kind of back peddles-

Proverbs are not targeting anyone-used to guide one along the path of life- & are interprtated by reader- if anyone is upset i apologiseabout 11 hours ago from TwitterFon

and then Dave Z is just happy
http://twitter.com/dzabriskie

Finally... http://bit.ly/U549Y

Wasn't that a party.

2009-07-27T10:23:00.002-04:00

So, the Tour is over for this year. The rest of the year will now feature going to bed on time.

Some awesome "hidden" coverage on Twitter this year. Bradley Wiggins is fast emerging as one of my fave riders. With Gems like this:

Cavendish slams Thor in the press, Thor turns around and rides the next stage 80% solo taking all the green jersey points

Thor Husovd, what can I say, after a certain persons comments today, Thor sticks two fingers up in a way that only Thor can. A true Gent
11:05 AM Jul 22nd from mobile web

The day Di Luca gets busted for CERA

Di Luca, what a Wanker! unbelievable
3:21 PM Jul 22nd from mobile web

Morning after hang-over from Post Paris celebrations.

Hung over and tired today, The Jack Daniels was a bad idea
about 1 hour ago from mobile web

It's like Christmas in July

2009-07-03T16:42:00.004-04:00

Put me down in pen for 21 late nights of OLN coverage. Yee Haw.

www.letour.com.

Getting Chicked, Part deux

2009-06-23T10:02:00.006-04:00

Laura can 'Chick' with the best of them

A while ago, I wrote about getting 'chicked'; obviously tongue-in-cheek. Last Saturday, I was proud to attend and watch my wife compete in Emilie's Run - a women's only run. It was actually incredible to watch such a competitive 5K field (winner @ 16:15, and 33 women sub-20). But not only that, it was inspiring to see the groups of women, each participating for their own reasons - but obvious to everyone they all enjoyed a common bond. I'd love to write a race report from the perspective of a spectator - but I'm sure, I wouldn't do it justice. It was a great event for everyone.

After the ladies run, there was a 1K challenge for the kids (open to both boys and girls). Both our kids competed. Laura paced Andrew all the way (without her, he would have blown up after 100meters) - of course he took off on her with 50 meters to go. But Laura can certainly hold her own with big boys. Check her finish sequence here, as she "Chicks" with authority racer #603 - reeling him in and then dropping the hammer. Unfortunately, her chip didn't fire so she doesn't appear in the official results (we're working on that though!)

Triathlon Stimulus Package

2009-06-22T10:59:00.005-04:00

1 x Louis Garneau Exo-Nerve bike helmet: this helmet makes me look the least dorky of all helmets I have owned; I did try the 'Rocket' but I just couldn't do it - maybe next year when aerolids are the norm.

1 x Brooks Ghost running shoes: $99.99; hopefully they work. Initial observations are - narrow toe box, but very light.

1 x Sierra Designs technical t-shirt: Oddly, I only have about 3 Tech Tees, and they all date back well over 3 years. They stink. The stink is unbearable. Nothing like a nice fresh t-shirt.

1 x Sugoi running short: Again, I only have 3 pairs of shorts that I like to run in. I often find myself re-using a dirty pair - oh, the sweet smell of swass is just lovely the second time around.

1 x Speedo Vanquisher Goggles (blue lenses): Pre-emptive strike. My current pair have been on their last legs for over a year. It's just a matter of time before the strap lets go.

2 x Kenda inner tubes: Guylaine is queen of the flats. "Phil, is it bad that biked home 20K on just my rim?"

2 x Veba running socks: Tired of being made fun of for running in my cotton tube socks.

3 x Dockers 'technical' socks: cheaper than high-tech Veba socks; anti-fungal, yum.

1 x AquaSeal cement: to fix the gaping holes in my wetsuit.

I'm doing my part - what are YOU doing!?!?

Les vices de Papa

2009-06-21T20:57:00.002-04:00

Chocolate, coffee, beer, wine, candy and a technical t-shirt for running. Thank you!!!
Bonne fête des pères

Toronto Festival of Excellence

2009-06-12T08:57:00.002-04:00

Pricilla Lopes-Schliep is one serious B.A.M.F

I was putting the laundry away last night around 7, and flipped on the tube. It was on TSN and I heard, "Men's Triathlon" - huh?

It was the Toronto Festival of Excellence, but the "Triathlon" they were plugging was 400m dash + Pole Vault + 110m hurdles. Nonetheless, I was still captivated by the athleticism (and frankly the production quality of the show). It took me nearly 90 minutes to finish the laundry, but I got to watch some seriously awesome stuff.

About 10 guys running the mile in sub-4 minutes (won by a Canadian). TV just does not do justice to how fast a 4 minute mile really is -- it looked like they were just jogging. Hussain Bolt was there, and gave a good show, winning the 100m dash, and being very gracious with the crowd and commentator afterwards. And, in what really amazed me, was the women's hurdles: where Pricilla Lopes-Shliep led Purdita Felicien all the way through the course, nearly stumbling at the end, but taking first place.

It was all pretty cool.

64 degrees - no wetsuit

2009-06-05T08:59:00.001-04:00

There was shrinkage!

Getting Chicked

2009-05-28T11:03:00.011-04:00

Riverkeeper 2008

"Getting Chicked" is a strange expression, that I had never heard until I started participating in triathlons. As, there's no official dictionary meaning, I infer it to mean when a guy is being passed by a woman, or beaten by a woman. On the surface, it seems sexist, but I can't help but smile when I say it. Maybe it's the way your cheeks are forced upwards on the "chick" part, and then the little, "td" part at the end makes a funny sound. In any event, I mean no disrepect to my fellow female participants.

The photo sequence here, was shot about 100 meters from the finish line at the Riverkeeper Triathlon in Ottawa. This was about a year ago. Here - immortalized in Pixels - is a guy (me), who appears to be getting seriously "chicked".

The truth is, I was completely blown away by this lady. This entire sequence was probably less than half a second long. What this picture does not show, is that not only did the women start 5 minutes after the men; but, this lady was 100 meters from the finish line, and I was 100 meters away from the 5K turn around; I still had 5K left to run.

Final race times. Me: 2:39 (en route to 54th overall); Her: 2:08 (en route to 3rd overall). According to the final results, I was "chicked" eight times in that race.

The "she" in these pictures, is actually Tenille Hoogland, and according to her blog:

Last weekend I did a local triathlon - Riverkeeper. It was a strong race. I had done a 10km race the day before though so I can’t say that my legs were ready to rock. It was fun though to be out there in the community and doing a triathlon with very little stress. I came first woman and third overall – next time I will try to get the guys too!

Well, fortunately for me, her 10K the day before slowed her down enough, so she could share some pixel space with me.

You have to hand it to her, the look on her face in the last picture appears to be of shear agony. I've only been able to dig deep in the red-zone like that two or three times. And this race appears to have been a fun run for her.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Phil "The Thrill"

2009-05-19T09:09:00.007-04:00

Phil "The Trhill", makes his one-and-only race appearance

Race Report: Victoria Day 5K Chase

It was a gorgeous Victoria Day morning; a little cool, yet bright and sunny. A perfect morning for a chase. An impromptu race, put on by the CMC. In a chase format: staggered age-group start times, derived (probably) by some high-tech scientific formula. First person to cross the line wins. Only one problem, my wave starts next-to-last. I'm going to need a little extra encouragement for the race so I channel, Phil "The Thrill".

At the start line, Phil "The Thrill" whips off his sweats at the last minute, pulls on his Afro-wig, and dons the silk cape of champions. And we're off! It didn't give me any rocket-booster energy, but it garnered a few laughs and if nothing else, some sympathy for Guylaine.

Final Chase Time: 28:50, for 25th/57. "Chip Time": 22:38, for 19th/57. Category position: 1/1 "Crazy dudes with afros wearing silk shorts and a robe".

Eat your heart out, Alfred Hitchcock

2009-05-14T09:38:00.006-04:00

The Birds, easy, try The Flies

I had that little pre-ride euphoria going on last night. I was watching the clock. 4:56, 4:57, 4:58, 4:59, 5:00 -- SEE YA! A day at the Ottawa office means an evening in Gatineau Park. 60K of awesome cycling.

Things were going better than expected. The park is now open to motorists, and all the hype on the local boards has been about a major shakedown on cyclists. Pfft. Nothing going on. I was only passed by a total of 15 vehicles en route to the Fortune Climb. No Park-Nazis or Taser-friendly gendarmerie anywhere to be seen.

After a successful assault on Fortune, I let myself coast down the 10% gradient. Sitting straight up like a sail, trying to stay below 60km/hr. I made the turn up the backside to Champlain, a beautifully forested area - approximately 3 kilometers of constant climbing. The world was mine. Everything was great. About two thirds of the way up, I let myself use final gear. What I didn't realise, was I was already tapped out.

Cue the horror music

My chain got jammed between my cassette and wheel. My entire bike locks up as I force down on the pedals with all my might. Boom! Man down. Of course this happens right in front of the guy, I'd just been working my ass of to pass. "Do you need help?" :: "No, I'm good thanks - chain just got jammed" :: "Bummer".

It should just be a 5 second job to fix right? Nope, that bastard was jammed in there real good. Geez, these flies are kind of annoying. Riding, even climbing at a modest 14km/hr I hadn't noticed them. But all of a sudden, they're really swarming me. Not helping the repair any. Another group of riders "You Okay? Need a tube?" :: "No, I'm good thanks".

Looks like I'm going to have to pop the back wheel off to get this thing unjammed. "Damn". These buggers are biting. In no time. I am covered head to toe with black flies. They've flocked to me and stuck to me like, well, flies to "excrement". I pick up my bike, and cross the road. I must be standing on their nest or something. They don't let up. Another couple of riders "T'es correct?" :: "Oui, ca va"

I'm starting to get really pissed. My chain is really jammed in there. I'm bleeding from the knee from the crash. I'm covered head to toe still with biting flies. My hands are black with oil. I'm starting to ooze blood from all my pores as the flies take off with chunks of my flesh. All I can think is to walk down hill and find a clearing.

The Walk of Shame

Down the hill I go. Bike on shoulder, back wheel hanging by the chain. Still covered in bugs. Swatting wildly at them. WTF am I going to do? I think about dumping the bike, and thumbing a ride :: figures, no cars anywhere. And of course, I'm exactly at the half-way point of the ride. "You need help?" over-and-over again, with each passing cyclist. Every 100 feet or so, I put the bike down and say to myself, "Ok - let's get it over with. Just put up with the flies and git'er'done." But 10 seconds at a time, is literally all I can bear. I continue my walk of shame down the hill, and then finally. The wheel drops off the chain!

Can I get a Hallelujiah

In 4 seconds, I clamp the back wheel back on, chain bypassing the derailleur. Phew. Relief, as I roll down the hill. Flies unable to keep up to me.

I make it to the overflow parking lot at the base of Fortune, and head right to the sunny middle. No flies to be found there! I'm able to get my chain back on. Get me the hell back home is all I can think about. So I take a short cut... And of course, the one and only day I go without my Garmin, I end up taking a wrong turn, and add an extra 10K to my trip.

The ride back was still hellacious as now, my chain has a wicked hop in it. Every 2 or 3 revolutions, and it skips a beat. Which is really fun when there are about 2 or 3 semi-monster climbs on the way home. Finally, I get back to the office. Looking in the mirror, I am greated by one ugly-looking dude. Oil smeared all over his face and in his ears, from swiping at bugs; blood dripping everywhere. All I can do is laugh.

Dad, do you have the chicken pox?

Andrew's first question to me this morning sums up the state of my arms.

Gatineau Park: See you next week for a rematch.