"The Valley" / 跑马地

DANGEROUS FOOD?

2008-07-11T11:51:00.002+08:00

At our toastmasters club, speakers are free to select their own topics and this, in my mind, is one of the better aspects of the meetings. And, because our club is mostly locals, we get to hear lots of interesting local stories.

The last meeting didn't disappoint and the wackiest story to come out was about a restaurant making one of our members sign a legal disclaimer form before he could take his leftovers home in a doggy bag. If the food is so dangerous should they be serving it at all? Perhaps their food turns into a mass of salmonella right after it leaves the restaurant? Whatever the reason it sounded a bit heavy handed to me.

You might expect this restaurant to be run by some over zealous eccentric restaurateur or perhaps by an ex litigation lawyer but no, it turned out to be an internationally recognised five star hotel chain - The Kowloon Shangri La. Pretty soon you'll have to sign a form to scratch your ass!

SKYCITY NINE EAGLES GOLF

2008-07-10T11:17:00.003+08:00

I was curious when I recently heard that someone had built a nine hole golf course next to the Hong Kong International Airport. Finally got the chance to play it yesterday when our golf society, WAGS, organised and event there.

The course in called the Skycity Nine Eagles golf club. Perhaps nine bogies might have been a better name? For such a new course it looked lush and green and was nicely laid out. I thought it was going to be easy but it turned out to be quite a challenge. Mostly par threes with a couple of par fours down the middle.

We had arranged to play one round in the afternoon, have dinner at the Thai restaurant in the clubhouse and then play a second round under lights after dinner. After a great dinner and a few beers, and playing under lights, I seemed to play a lot better - perhaps something to do with being more relaxed and not being able to see so well? Can't really be sure but I did enjoy the day out and look forward to playing there again in the future.

BIG IN CHINA / 陆克文

2008-07-06T18:03:00.004+08:00

When making smalltalk with Taxi drivers and locals in Shenzhen one of the first questions they ask is: "Where are you from?"

In years gone by, when they found out I was from Australia, they'd respond with "Ah Kangaloo" or "Sick Lay" (Kangaroo and Sydney for the slower readers out there)

These days they get all excited and yell out " Loo Kerr Wan". It took me a while to figure out what they meant, but thanks to a friend studying in Beijing, I now know they are referring to Kevin Rudd, Australia's Mandarin speaking Prime Minster who recently made a state visit to China.

Mr Rudd must have made a big impression and I'm surprised taxi drivers in Shenzhen are right up to speed. After all, how many taxi drivers in Australia would have any clue who the president of China is?

BORDER BABY BUSTERS

2008-06-23T11:07:00.005+08:00

Coming back from Shenzhen last night, via the spanking new Shenzhen Bay customs building, I noticed a new counter set up as you enter Hong Kong. Siting behind the counter, and looking very po-faced, was a pair of uniformed women checking everyone out. Saw a sign on the counter that I think was warning pregnant Mainlanders that they have to deposit HK$30,000 before they will be allowed into Hong Kong.

Seems that the Mainlanders have been rushing to Hong Kong to have babies and the locals are getting jack of it. It must be hard to turn away a woman in labour and I'm guessing, once the baby has been born, the Mothers aren't in any rush to pay the bills. Very high hospital standards and "free" medical attention has got to be very tempting.

Wonder how they differentiate between incoming women with a bit of extra weight (pork chops) and pregnant women? Do they have an ultrasound in a back room?

SOUTH CHINA SWINDLER

2008-06-21T18:00:00.008+08:00

Chalk one up for the Aussies. While sipping an ice cold low pollution Latte at the Shenzhen Portofino Illy coffee shop this afternoon, I notice an interesting article in the Shenzhen Daily: An Australian has swindled RMB800,000 out of a Hong Kong businesswoman. That must be a first! Our villain's name is Richard and our victim (Mary) has apparently offered a RMB30,000 reward to anyone who can locate him.

So the hunt is on for an Australian named Richard. That's probably narrowed the search down to about 100,000 people. I personally know at least 5 Australian Richards and all of them could be quite capable of perpetrating this shocking crime.

If I found the said Richard , I wouldn't turn him in. It would be much more profitable to get Richard to write an eBook - "Harvesting Hotties in Hong Kong" might be a good title. If that didn't sell a million copies I'd be very surprised.

Any suggestions for a good place for our villain to lie low? Might be best to avoid Casinos and Chinatowns. Perhaps a nice quiet little rural town in Australia would be good. Somewhere like Brinsmead Glen, or Kongwak, or Chinderah or maybe even Omeo. Let the hunt begin!

LAZY SATURDAY

2008-06-21T13:57:00.003+08:00

The sun has finally emerged from the last few weeks of non stop rain and it's extremely hot over here in Shenzhen. With most of the usual thick pollution having been washed away, there's nothing to block the UV. Good time to stay indoors, turn the aircon up to super freeze and watch a few DVD's, I thought.

Mrs V had other plans though. She thought it might be a good day for me to go and retrieve the cash deposit we were required to place with the management office last year before we could renovate. They don't seem to be in any hurry to return our cash - no big surprise there!

Spent an hour or so revising a few key Mandarin phrases (where's my cash wanker, etc.) and headed over. No joy though - the management office was closed - for renovation. Aiyahhh!

CAR CODE

2008-06-18T18:05:00.002+08:00

Being a pedestrian in The Valley can be quite dangerous. Car drivers often do the the opposite of what you'd expect - as if they have a secret code. Had a breakthrough moment today when I finally cracked the code. Here goes;

1. If a car approaches an intersection, slows down and has his turn indicator on, this means he/she will go straight ahead. Stand back and don't cross the road

2. If a car accelerates towards an intersection and doesn't use his turn indicator this means he's definitely going to turn. Again, stand back.

There you have it. Two simple rules to keep you alive should you be foolish enough to want to walk around Hong Kong.

BRISBANE RIVER

2008-06-08T07:44:00.004+08:00

Took this photo of the Brisbane River from my room at the Brisbane Marriott this morning. Quite a nice day so I went for a walk. Walked east along the riverside and across the floating bridge to New Farm. Great to see the city has given the public great riverside access. Picked up a banana smoothie and then walked back. Very pleasant Sunday morning walk. The Brisbane Marriott has excellent access to the riverside - great if you're a walker or jogger.

JOYFUL FRUIT DAY?

2008-06-07T15:29:00.000+08:00

Looks like the HK government have put their vast resources and enormous capacity for creative thinking together and have come up with this amazing new campaign - Joyful Fruit Day.

Is this a day for all the joyful fruit to have a well earned public holiday or is it a sly attempt by the government to create some competition for the Sydney Gay Mardi Gras? Who knows but the web site is shown on the photo above if you really need to find out. Have a Joyful Fruit Day.

TIME OUT HONG KONG

2008-06-05T15:01:00.002+08:00

First thing I do when visiting London (after scoffing down a big fry up and having a few pints of course) is to pick up a copy of the latest Time Out magazine. It's usually a good read and can point you in the right direction for interesting stuff to see and/or do.

So I was pleased to hear Time Out launched a Hong Kong edition recently. I'm impressed that someone would have the balls to launch an English language magazine in a city that is rapidly reverting to it's native tongue (not English, by the way). Guess there are enough foreigners living here and visiting to make it worthwhile.

Saw a copy at the supermarket today and parted with HK$18 to have a look. Turns out to be a very good read - nicely laid out. Hope they can keep the standard up. Especially liked the interview with Ben Elton inside the back cover. Thumbs up for Time Out Hong Kong

DESIGNER GUMBOOTS

2008-06-04T14:37:00.003+08:00

Gucci gumboots seem to be the hot ticket this wet season in Hong Kong. Since the heavy rain started last week, I've seen lots of lovely legs wrapped in designer gumboots (called Wellington boots , or Wellies, in the UK?). I spotted my neighbour heading out last night in bright pink gumboots clutching three umbrellas - talk about well prepared.

Kind of makes sense as the sideways rain here ensures you get soaked to the thighs if you walk anywhere. Of course Taxi's are impossible to hire the minute it even looks like raining and getting stabbed in the face by height challenged people with huge golf umbrellas is par for the course.

Mrs V. loves the rain. I might too if I didn't have to walk anywhere and if I could lie in bed till noon. Ahhh, only three more months of torrential rain to go.

COMEDY SHOW

2008-06-04T10:26:00.004+08:00

I see Jami from Take Out Comedy is running a Comedy Show next Thursday, June 12th at Grappas (HK$200, 9PM, Basement, Jardine House, Central 2521 2322). Should be a great show with English and Cantonese Stand up comedians and some improv. as well. Don't miss this if you're a comedy fan.

CHELSEA HOME KIT

2008-05-15T18:38:00.004+08:00

More interesting junk mail turns up in our mailbox today. This time a catalog of Chelsea Football Club clothes and souvenirs. I know European football is popular here but I didn't realise it went to the level of dressing up in the "Home Kit". Talk about global marketing - these guys have it covered.

One of the more interesting items in the catalog is the "Chelsea Silver Lining Crystal Mahjong Box Set - Limited Edition" a bargain at only HK$480.00. I can just see the lads at Stamford Bridge getting together and having overnight Mahjong parties whilst sipping cups of tea and gossiping about the neighbours - NOT! They even have a local website - http://www.chelseamegastore.hk/

WACKY WEDNESDAY

2008-05-14T13:21:00.001+08:00

What's up with Wednesday? Is it compulsory to wear T-shirts with raunchy slogans? How come no one told me?

In the gym, trying to avoid all the people preening themselves in the mirrors, when I spot a Miss Hong Kong look-a-like wearing a T-Shirt with the following slogan: MICKEY LIKES TO EAT APPLE. Damn and I thought Mickey's girlfriend was Minnie. Perhaps he's moved on? Apple is a pretty popular name locally so I guess he's got plenty of choice. Perhaps the shirt might be referring to the Hong Kong Disneyland version of Mickey? On closer inspection I see some small print : AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY. That's one way of looking at it.

Slouching home after a good ten minutes on the treadmill, I see wacky Wednesday T-Shirt number two: EVERYBODY LOVES A SWINGER. Well everybody who's been to a swingers party I guess. Perhaps Mickey and Apple are part of the scene? No doctors allowed.

THIS DARLING LIFE

2008-05-11T07:50:00.002+08:00

What kind of person could be cruel enough to smash a puppies legs and then dump it it a drain , still alive? This is one of the stories showcased in the documentary film This Darling Life that we went to see at UA Times Square yesterday. The main story is about the filmmakers love of her two dogs and how she copes with the death of one of them. Another interesting story is about a homeless guy and his dog. Really gritty stuff but excellent insight into how local Hong Kong residents treat their dogs, both good and bad.

I see they have a website (complete with required animation) and a blog with plenty of Youtube clips. Just wondering why the Chinese title mentions dogs but the English title doesn't. Surely if they are trying to educate people about dogs then the title should have some reference to dogs? Not a big deal though, I guess, and if the film manages to encourage people to treat animals better then it will have been successful anyway. Well worth seeing, in my opinion.

INVESTMENT GEM

2008-05-09T13:47:00.001+08:00

Picking through all the new equestrian books on the "New Additions" shelf at the library recently, I came across a stock investment gem: Predicting the Markets of Tomorrow, by James P. O'Shaughnessy (published in 2006). O'Shaugnessy is the same guy who wrote the investment classic "What Works on Wall Street".

In this book there's a great chapter on behavioural economics in which he attempts to explain why human emotions conspire to damage investment returns. I've always believed that if you can learn to control your emotions your investment returns should improve dramatically.

I particularly like the following passage on page 131: "In his book Mean Markets and Lizard Brains (catchy title), Terry Burnham says that there are biological causes for irrational financial behaviour, and these in turn cause market panics and crashes. We literally are reverting to our "lizard brain" when faced with the emotion-jarring task of investing our money. He points out what a recent study at MIT confirmed - the most successful investors are those who have a system in place to guard against emotional decisions.

Exactly!

WHAT POLLUTION?

2008-05-08T08:32:00.002+08:00

Beautiful clear day today in The Valley. This shot, taken from our balcony this morning, is looking across the Happy Valley racecourse towards Wanchai. You can Even see Bank of China and the IFC in the background.

PLUCKING FENG SHUI

2008-05-07T08:15:00.000+08:00

Mrs. V. is startled yesterday when she notices some hairs growing between my eyebrows. I'm not that surprised as they've been there for years and I'm wondering if this is the first time she's had a good close look at my face since we met ten years ago?. Probably!

Mrs. V. is a keen student of face reading, feng shui and other mysterious arts like fashion and interior decoration. According to her, having these hairs means I have a "closed heart" and I'll need to have them removed immediately so that I can have more of an "open heart". I'm hoping she doesn't mean open heart surgery.

With Mrs. V's birthday coming up, perhaps an "open heart' might translate into a better gift? Whatever the reason, I manage to distract her for now but I know a painful plucking is imminent.

ASSEMBLE YOUR TRIBE

2008-05-06T07:07:00.000+08:00

Spotted this catchy slogan on a billboard above the Windows of the World Metro station in Shenzhen last weekend. "Assemble your tribe" - did they send the sign to Africa to get proofread?

DRESSAGE FOR DUMMIES

2008-05-05T02:24:00.000+08:00

With the 2008 Olympic equestrian events being held in Hong Kong later this year, the government is on a mission to create some interest in equestrian sports. Good luck! Everyone knows that if there's no gambling involved there's little chance residents of the city will have any interest.

One bright idea the bureaucrats came up with was to to flood the public libraries with English language equestrian books. Exciting titles like Deciphering Dressage, Down to Earth Dressage and Training the Modern Jumper have been rapidly filling up the "New Book Additions" shelves at public libraries all across Hong Kong.

I really hope these lovely books are used but I'm pretty certain they'll just be collecting dust for the next few decades in the very underused English language books section.

METRO CASH & CARRY

2008-05-04T03:31:00.000+08:00

After my aborted visit to the new Shenzhen Ikea a few weeks ago, I checked out the adjacent Metro Cash & Carry store (European City, 255 Shahe East Road, 0755 8602 8888). I was particularly impressed with their wine section which had a good variety of wine from all over the world and at similar prices to Hong Kong. Looked like they weren't trying to extract an extra "wine is a luxury so we should charge more" premium like most other places in Shenzhen. Picked up some reasonably priced French Rose' and tried to pay at the checkout. Found out you had to be a member and when I saw the crowd at the membership counter I gave up and went home.

This visit though, armed with a utility bill (showing a local address) and my passport, I went early and signed up. Got my free membership card processed in a few minutes and headed for the wine section. Picked up some Cellier des Dauphins Cotes Du Rhone Rose'. Also grabbed some German Pumpernickel bread on the way to the checkout. They even had whole pig carcasses hanging in the freezer section. Try getting one of those in the taxi.

Back home sampling my purchases, I saw Metro Cash & Carry mentioned on the Shenzhen Government website as a German company. Ah! No wonder they have lots of imported European food and wine. Looks like I've found my local wine shop. Might even pick up some Blue Nun next visit. Cheers!

SHENZHEN IKEA PART II

2008-05-03T11:53:00.004+08:00

After last weeks aborted attempt to check out the new monster Ikea in Nanshan, I was up early today and decided to try again. Taxi dropped me off in the underground car park which I noticed had a rank of waiting taxis, even before the place had opened. Arrived just before the 10AM opening and didn't even have to line up. Plenty of people milling about and even a few in the canteen trying out the Swedish meatballs. Noticed they had a stack of untouched salads for sale. I've learnt people over here are very hesitant to eat uncooked greens so it's no surprise they weren't flying off the shelves.

The place was huge and on two levels. I was looking for the Swedish grocery section but ended up on the wrong level. Walked a few miles before eventually locating the the smallish grocery section. They had an OK selection of stuff including jams, gravalax, vodka, frozen meatballs and lots of chocolates and biscuits. Picked up some knackerbrod (rye bread). On the way out I realised they were playing Abba's "Rich Man's World" as background music. Very applicable, I thought, as this is where the new rich in Shenzhen are coming to shop.

As I left just before noon the crowds were starting to form. Noticed that the place shuts at 23:00PM and thought the best times to go would probably be the first and last hours, but never on a Sunday afternoon.

LOW FAT LASAGNA?

2008-05-02T07:36:00.000+08:00

This piece of junk mail showed up in our mailbox today. It's some add touting a "miracle" seven day diet plan. It shows an almost anorexic girl in front of a background photo of creamy, meaty, greasy Lasagna. Last time I checked with Weight Watchers I'm pretty sure Lasagna wasn't on top of the list of foods recommended for people struggling to shed some kilos. Perhaps Ms. Anorexic could get stuck into the pictured Lasagna - she'd probably look quite a lot healthier with a bit of meat on her.

QUIZ CAPERS

2008-05-01T07:45:00.003+08:00

Long anticipated music quiz was finally held last night. The music quiz is a device used to fill up a bar on a quiet night to help even out the cashflow a bit (and for the patrons to have a bit of fun of course!). We'd sent out the email flyer advertising the event before we realised the next day was a public holiday (May 1 in Hong Kong and China is Labour Day).

As expected, as soon as we started the quiz, the bar filled up with loads of merry revellers intent on having a good time. Very hard to tell a big group of pretty ladies, who are buying bubbly like there might be no tomorrow, to pipe down so the boffins in the corner can hear the quiz questions. In the end we had to declare a four way tie and rewarded each participating team with a round of drinks on the house. It was a good solution as the party then really kicked off.

Still can't believe no one got the right answer to this question: What is Kenny G's surname? (here's a clue - it's not G) Answer - Gorelick.

DIM SUM DAYS

2008-04-30T14:00:00.000+08:00

Buddy in town who's very keen on Dim Sum. Good opportunity to try out the Sportful Garden Restaurant (Eton Tower, 8 Hysan Avenue, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong, 2576 3382) across the road from my office. Being Gweilos with a limited Cantonese vocabulary, we were relieved to see they had a bilingual Dim Sum menu with a few pictures.

Had all the usual Gweilo favorites, Spring Rolls (Chun Goon), Shao Mai, Shao Lung Bao, etc. My guest was horrified when I suggested we try a starter of sharks fin soup. Was just winding him up as I know he's a bit of a tree hugger.

Crowd was mostly office workers (lots of insurance companies in the area) and quite a few tables of Tai Tai's (wealthy housewives). Quality and service good and would definitely go back for Dim Sum there again.

"The Valley" / 跑 马 地